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He never really wanted it to go this far. Kaveh wasn’t sure when he realized it. Maybe it was when he was making dinner, waiting for Alhaitham to come home. Maybe it was when he woke up in his bed, as the sunlight streamed through the window. Maybe it was when he saw the man reading on the couch next to a model Kaveh had left out without saying a word.
It was supposed to be a temporary thing. Not something to get used to. Not something Alhaitham had to learn to deal with.
Kaveh cleaned up the model. Of course he did. He made dinner still. Of course he did. He woke up and went to work and tried his best to get enough mora to dig himself out of this hole he had created.
It was supposed to be temporary. Alhaitham’s house would never be home. Not after what had happened between them. Not after all those years of silence. They were both acutely aware of that fact, filling up the room between them and making the room tense every time they said a word to each other.
It was part of the reason Kaveh had signed up to that championship in the first place. Get the money, get the hell out of Alhaitham’s life, call it a day. No more messy and complicated histories to bother the Scribe anymore. No more racket in the evenings. No more fights with the roommate that probably should just be better at shutting up and being grateful for what he had but couldn’t seem to help himself. Kaveh drilled it into his head. Get out. Get out. Get out.
He didn’t expect it to land him here. The darkness settled over him like a blanket, not a speck of light in sight. Droplets fell to the cold stone floor in a rhythmic plink. And he couldn’t quite breathe right with the rubble settling over him.
It hadn’t been his fault, this time. The client had assured him they had gotten the right permits for the area, showed him them even, and promised him personally the area was sound. It wouldn’t be like the incident with the Palace. Of course it had been a lie.
His brain was clouded. Kaveh couldn’t think of the precautions Tighnari had told him about cave ins and being trapped in the wild. How to not make the situation worse. How to pick yourself back up. How to breathe again.
Mehrak wasn’t in sight. Kaveh had seen the little case floating near the entrance of the cave, could barely remember shouting an order to preserve itself. It was probably outside.
Maybe it would go for help. Find someone who could figure out Kaveh was missing. Gather a rescue team.
It would take a while. And he was so tired.
No. No. He could faintly remember Tighnari’s voice telling him about sleeping with certain injuries. Maybe it wouldn’t apply. But he wanted to survive, and closing his eyes wouldn’t help. He tried to sit up slowly, feeling the rubble shift. With the next movement, it felt like it was crushing him again. Kaveh instantly stopped, gasping for air, watching the ceiling dance with colors. When had it gotten colors?
It reminded him of the rug in the living room. Alhaitham had bought it just to be petty. Kaveh had been complaining about the lack of décor, so that same night the Scribe had bought the ugliest rug Kaveh had laid his eyes on. A mess of clashing colors that felt comfortable to the touch. When Kaveh replaced it, he stole it for his own room. He made it work, too. With the horrible mismatch of splotchy colors he designed his room to fit it seamlessly. Alhaitham had even nodded when he saw it. Kaveh’s chest had felt a bit… warm after that.
Archons, when he got home he was going to collapse on that rug and never move again.
Kaveh stretched his fingers. He let out a small sigh in relief as he felt them twitch. He could still move. His arm was bent at an awkward angle, twisted above his head, but it meant it wasn’t as trapped. Truly a blessing.
There weren’t any tools in reach. A bit too much to ask, maybe, but Kaveh would take any good luck he could get. Luck had never been on his side though. The only thing in reach was more rocks. Some of them were even sharp. Kaveh might have been bleeding. He couldn’t tell.
What he wouldn’t do to have Tighnari here to pull him out and lecture him, then send him home to be lectured some more. Cyno would make some horrible pun at just the wrong time, and Kaveh would be so relieved to just see the sun again he would laugh along for once. Collei might be concerned he was laughing and ask Tighnari if he was really okay. The Forest Ranger would shake his head and be utterly done with them all. Yet he chose his husband and his daughter and would do so over and over and over again.
Kaveh’s stomach twisted at the thought. He didn’t know why, but he could have sworn he saw a flash of golden hair. An echo of a long forgotten melody. This was the last place he wanted to think about his mother.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to think about her at all.
His hands managed to grip something that wasn’t a rock. A vine, maybe? He couldn’t tell in the pitch blackness, he couldn’t tell with the lack of movement his head had. All he knew was his grip was weak and was getting weaker.
The vine slipped out of his grip soon enough. He tried to grab it again, but it must have moved. He couldn’t find it again. No matter how hard he tried, there was nothing in reach except the sharp rocks that kept making his fingers sting.
He wished he could see his vision. His waist and chest were covered in rubble, but if his waist was just barely visible, maybe he could see his vision. Maybe he could have just a little light. Just enough to illuminate the place.
Kaveh always thought he’d die just like this. In over his head. The end of a long string of foolish decisions. When had it started? When would Alhaitham had said it started to all go downhill? He’d be able to analyze it accurately. He always could pick apart everything wrong with Kaveh’s life.
But Alhaitham wasn’t here. Kaveh might not see him again, honestly. He wondered what would happen to his stuff. Kaveh never made a will. He didn’t see the point at first. Of course it would go to his mother. Then his mother moved far, far away and Kaveh stayed behind in Sumeru to build his own life. And then it all came crashing down.
His roommate was the one closest to him. Wasn’t that hilarious? They bickered and clashed every single instant of every single day and yet they still knew each other better than anyone else in the world. Yeah, hilarious. One giant joke from the universe.
One that ended in a horrible punchline. No more fighting though, right? Unless Alhaitham wanted to pick a fight with him from the grave. Drag his spirit back for another round of philosophical bickering. No. That wasn’t his style. He didn’t usually start fights. At least, not intentionally. He said something and Kaveh retorted and the next thing they knew Kaveh went to his room to avoid the Scribe while Alhaitham sat on the couch to read because he would not be forced around in his house.
It could have been their house.
It might have been their house.
It’d be Alhaitham’s house at the end of the day, either way.
Kaveh let his eyes close.
--
Three hours. That’s how long it took before Collei found Mehrak, according to the case’s logs. A half hour to get Cyno and Tighnari, a half hour to find the wreckage of the cave, and Kaveh woke up to the sweet, sweet sunshine of the Sumeru jungles as Tighnari propped him up.
It hurt a bit to breathe, but it was nothing to worry about. It took much longer to convince Tighnari of that fact. Kaveh had to compromise by promising to get himself checked out once he got back into the city. Though it could wait until the next day. All Kaveh wanted to do was rest, right now. Cyno listened as Kaveh explained the situation, nodding along as the architect swore the client had shown him permits. Cyno only asked for the name. Kaveh gladly gave it.
Collei was the one who looked the most terrified. Tighnari appeared more annoyed than anything else, but Collei was pale, her hands clasped and shaking. Kaveh shot her a smile and promised he’d be more careful in the future, and he’d make it to dinner at the end of the week. She looked at least a little assuaged, after that. The trio escorted Kaveh back to nearest road and let him take the rest of the journey home from there.
Mehrak was absolutely the hero of the story. Kaveh talked to him on the way home. He knew the case may not actually understand him, but still. The thing deserved his praise after managing to find help and follow them long enough to lead them to where he was. Without it, Kaveh wasn’t sure where he’d end up.
And for once, his keys managed to stay on him.
It was long past sundown by the time Kaveh got home. He unlocked the door, groaning as his legs and arms ached. The living room was pleasantly lit up. Alhaitham sat on the couch reading, as he always did in the evenings. He didn’t even bother to look up as Kaveh stumbled into the house.
All of a sudden, Kaveh realized something. “Alhaitham?” The Scribe looked up to meet his eyes. “I’m not going to be able to make rent this month.”
Alhaitham paused his reading, leaving his thumb in the book to save his location as he set it on his lap. “I thought you were working.”
“My contract just fell through. Another scam.” Hopefully. If it was intentionally illegal, Cyno might allow Kaveh the catharsis of getting his hands personally around the client’s- Kaveh cleared his throat. “I’ll pay double next month if needed. And I can make most of the rent.”
“Another scam? If you keep falling for those, you may need someone else to look over contracts for you.”
Kaveh sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. “It wasn’t my fault this time. I had no idea until the cave in occurred that there was anything wrong with the sight. It wasn’t like there was a public file on the location or anything like last time. So do I get away with paying double, or should I find a new place to stay?”
Alhaitham narrowed his eyes. “There was a cave in?”
“You’re avoiding the question.” Kaveh rolled his eyes and waved his hand. “Yes, the site caved in. Luckily I was the only one there today, so there were no casualties. I got trapped for a few hours, but that’s unimportant. Rent. I need to know if I should beg Tighnari’s forgiveness for putting off the checkup on my ribs so I can crash at his place for a bit.”
“Kaveh. Your ribs are injured.”
“It’s fine. It was just a bit of rubble.”
Alhaitham set his book to the side and stood up, walking over to Kaveh and looked him right in the face. “You were involved in a cave in.”
“Yes.”
“You were trapped because of said cave in.”
“Yes.”
“Your ribs are injured because of said cave in.”
“It’s only minor.”
“Kaveh, it’s your ribs.” Alhaitham scanned him up and down. “Your hand is bleeding, too.”
Kaveh looked down at his hand and saw it was in fact, still dripping blood. He groaned. “My shirt is probably ruined, isn’t it.”
“I think that is the least pressing issue.”
“Do you know how hard blood is to get out of white clothing? My pants, fine, I can manage, but my shirt is stained with dried blood now-”
Alhaitham took Kaveh’s wrist from where it was waving to inspect the injured wrist, ignoring how it made the small trickle of blood flow straight into the sleeve. “You should have gone straight to the doctor.”
“I want to sleep, Alhaitham.” Kaveh tugged his hand away. “I’d hoped you’d understand the sentiment, with your precise schedule and all.”
“You could have a concussion for all we know.”
“We?!”
Alhaitham shot him a glare. “Go to the clinic.”
“It’s late. They resent anyone who comes in late. And I don’t want to sully my reputation with the good doctor because-”
“Kaveh, listen to me for one time in your life. Do you understand how much danger you were in? What would have happened if you hadn’t have gotten out so quickly?”
“Yes!” Alhaitham paused at the sudden scream. Kaveh clapped his bloodied hand over his mouth, then cursed at the taste of iron on his tongue. He pulled it away and sighed. “Yes. I am very aware I could have died there, Alhaitham. Now please. I just want to rest.” Kaveh backed up a step, feeling the wall on his back. They just stood there, next to the door, for a minute. Alhaitham looked at him for a long time, torn clothes and smudged dirt and all. He finally nodded.
“Rest… may do you some good. But we’re going to the clinic first thing in the morning.” As he finally conceded his point, Kaveh grinned. Alhaitham cut him off before he could get a word out. “Your hand still needs to be bandaged tonight.”
“That’s fine. I can handle it.”
“You have one usable hand.”
His grin didn’t fade at all. Just got a bit more challenging. “And I’m ambidextrous. It’s fine.”
Alhaitham took his wrist again. “Kaveh. Please let me bandage it.”
And Kaveh- took a moment. Alhaitham had said please. Alhaitham, who was known for being straightforward and coarse and a fright to everyone but those who had gotten used to him, had said please. To help Kaveh.
Kaveh nodded. And Alhaitham’s eyes brightened.
Most people couldn’t read Alhaitham. The man never really smiled much. His mouth might occasionally twitch at the most hilarious joke, but he was never the most expressive. Even Tighnari and Cyno couldn’t call his bluff without puzzling over logic for precious minutes. But Kaveh, Kaveh knew his secret.
His eyes dimmed and sparkled like the stars in the night sky.
Maybe Alhaitham himself wasn’t aware of his tell, but Kaveh was. Kaveh could tell when something entertained him or made him upset if he just stood close enough. It wasn’t an exact science, nothing was with people, but that was part of the intrigue of it.
And right now, Alhaitham. Happy. Pleased? At being able to take care of Kaveh. No, no. It was Kaveh admitting he was wrong. The satisfaction of being proven right.
Alhaitham was gentle as he Kaveh to the counter and grabbed the bandages they kept stored nearby. A retort about his bedside manner died on Kaveh’s tongue as he watched Alhaitham trace his hand over Kaveh’s, trying to find where the cuts were without hurting Kaveh too much. In fact, all manner of retorts and words died as his tongue became a useless blob stuck in his throat.
The disinfectant Alhaitham used stung a bit. But he swiped his thumb over the pulse point on Kaveh’s wrist in a soothing motion and Kaveh really didn’t find himself caring all too much. In the end, the bandages wrapped around his hand completely as Kaveh had managed to get a dozen cuts across his entire hand.
“Don’t use it for a few days.”
Kaveh huffed. “I need to use it, you know. I have get another client, and draw sketches up- And even without that, I need two hands to cook.”
Alhaitham levelled one of those gazes that made Kaveh feel like a child. “All you are going to worry about is getting your ribs checked out and resting.”
“I have to pay rent, you absolute a-”
“I, as your landlord, are telling you not to worry about it.”
Kaveh snorted, rolling his eyes as Alhaitham checked that the bandages were alright. “So what, I’m just off for the month?”
“Yes.”
It was a simple answer. So simple, in fact, it left Kaveh sputtering.
“Now, to bed, Kaveh.” Alhaitham stopped holding his wrist as he went to put the bandages away. Kaveh nodded once, twice, and then stood up.
And maybe the world was a bit more shaky than he accounted for.
A strong arm caught him around the waist, just as he grabbed the counter to steady himself. Alhaitham paused for a moment, watching as Kaveh reevaluated all his life decisions. “I can walk myself, you know.”
“Apparently not.”
Kaveh groaned and stood up. “See, I’m fine. Just slipped.”
“Are you certain you don’t have a concussion.”
“I never hit my head!”
“It was only your chest.”
“I don’t see why you’re so worried.” Kaveh crossed his arms. “In fact, why the hell are you putting up with any of this today. I came in way too late, interrupted you, and don’t even have rent for this month.”
A cool hand came up just underneath his chin. “If you think for an instant that was more important than your health, I haven’t been clear. You are the most important thing in this room, Kaveh. More important than anything else to me.”
He laughed. It wasn’t the nicest, all coarse and cynical, but he couldn’t help it. “You’ve done a great job of showing it in the past.”
“I remember us getting into our fight because of how much I cared.”
“You were prodding at old wounds.”
Alhaitham sighed, watching as Kaveh looked at the ground. “I was trying to make it clear to you your behavior was becoming self-destructive. I say what I mean. But… sometimes that causes misunderstandings. Especially with you.”
“Understatement of the century.” Kaveh blinked away the tears that were forming. “We didn’t talk for years.” And because it was already messy enough, he whispered, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I never stopped loving you, even for an instant.”
Alhaitham had been close enough that when Kaveh jerked his head up it hit Alhaitham square in the chin. Kaveh yelped and reached out towards him. Alhaitham looked back at him, rubbing his chin and shook his head.
“I’m fine, Kaveh. Hit harder if you want to hurt me next time.”
Kaveh glared, about to open his mouth to insult the idiot in front of him, when he paused. “Did you just say you loved me?”
“Yes.”
“Is that- that still applies, yes?”
Alhaitham nodded- and then grunted in the next moment as he had an armful of Kaveh. Kaveh held onto him tighter, burying his face in his shoulder. He felt a hand settle on his head, into his blonde hair that was honestly a mess after all the events of today.
“I’ve loved you for years.” There. It was out in the open.
And Alhaitham held him tighter. “We could have confessed years ago.”
“No. We couldn’t have. We’d just fight more back then and then break it off and be too hurt to ever dream of getting back together,” Kaveh rambled. He had been too stubborn back then, he knew. He still was now. But- back then, everything was a sore subject with him, everything reminding him of this aching pain. And the ache had gone down to dullness.
Alhaitham didn’t respond, simply giving a small hum. After another minute, he spoke. “You still need your sleep, Kaveh.”
“Will you be there in the morning?”
“Of course. Otherwise you’re going to skip going to the clinic.”
Kaveh glared at him. Mostly because he was right. Alhaitham looked down at him, his eyes bright.
How could he not kiss him, when he was looking like that?