Chapter Text
At a time he couldn't name, but sometime in the night, he awoke with a start. He had learned to rely on his senses after time, and knew something had to be wrong to wake him up. Something had changed, and so he sat there in the dark; focusing, smelling, feeling, trying to see.
His eyes were piercing the shadows intently, and he finally heard shuffling at his side. A pressure on his bed.
A breath of relief left him when he saw a small hand define itself in the shadows. In a struggle, the other hand made itself known, and the top of a head became visible. The hand reached up, gripping the blanket, and a knee pressed up on the mattress.
Scrambling up the bed, I peeked up and over it with great difficulty. I saw the Undertaker there, watching and trying to perceive. Of course, I knew he couldn't see well, and I thought it was hilarious at times. But tonight, I had other matters.
I reached out to him, his scrutinizing face becoming more visible, little by little. My hand opened and closed in a grabbing motion, and he finally got the message.
"Hihi! Oh my~" he chuckled, leaning over and grasping my arm. "Do you need some help?"
Holding my elbow firm, he pulled me up, and I landed beside him.
His playful grin disappeared when I gave no remark. A frown took its place, and his face scrutinized in concern. My head was looking down stubbornly, and my hands were grasping hard at my thighs.
He took me by the upper arms. "Hey, hey. Are you alright?" Worry laced his voice. I did not answer.
"What's wrong, dear? Hey, talk to me now," he urged, responding to my silence.
I glanced up at him, my jaw clenched. I plopped down into his chest with a plop. I buried my face into him and grasped at his clothing, shaking.
"I just…" I started, muffled, " ...just had a bad dream, is all."
He sighed empathetically, and wrapped his arms around me. He stroked my hair gently. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, me on his lap and cowering inside the warmth of his chest. Hiding from the shadows.
After a moment, he spoke. At barely a whisper, he invited calmly.
"Would you like to talk to me about it?" He looked down to me, asking gently.
Absent-mindedly, I noticed that his way of speech always changed depending on his tone. From playful and Cockney to serious and upper class.
I gave a distant hum of thought and turned my head, hoping to be more coherent.
"I– I don't know… I mean, I'm– I'm kinda over it already, it's fine…" I reassured, trailing off. My mind was whirring and I was shakey. My childlike carefree demeanor long gone, replaced by this.
He placed his chin on the top of my head.
"I'm always here, love. You know that. You can tell me," he looked down at me, catching my eye this time. I turned from him stubbornly.
"No…! –I just, sorry, I don't know. Just…" I planted my forehead on his chest. He couldn't ever know. "Could I just… sleep… in here tonight?"
I looked up at him suddenly, half-pleading and half-nervous. My face was minorly red with embarrassment.
"J-just for tonight! I swear!" He laughed, and I felt it through his chest. It was nice. Familiar and comforting.
"Hihi! Of course you can, dearie. You don't ever have to ask, you know," he reassured me.
Silence filled the dark room, and I held him tighter. Desperately, almost.
"...thank you," I kept my face in his chest. Hoping he couldn't feel my tears. His hand stroked my hair, playing with it comfortingly. I clung to him, and the shadows heightened my senses. I felt him everywhere, comforting and warm.
"Mhm~" He was silent for a moment. Then, his voice broke the shadows.
"I love you, dear. Know that," he assured.
"Always and forever."
I pulled from him, quickly –and hopefully secretly– wiping my tears. I looked up at him, meeting his eyes.
"You promise?" I said, wide and watery eyes piercing seriously.
"Promise," he nodded with a grin, presenting his pinky. I reached up and took it in mine, wrapping our pinkies.
"Good," I stated. I tucked my head into his clothes once more, mumbling, "I love you too."
"What? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, dear," he questioned playfully. I huffed, as though this was an inconvenience, and shifted in his arms. I sat up on top of him, taking his cheeks in my small palms.
"I love you too," I said in a dire tone, narrowing my eyes at him. "Forever and always."
His eyes widened, and slowly melted into a smile. His body shook and he barked with laughter.
That night, he let me sleep with him gladly. I was tucked in between his arm and his side, and he was asleep very soon.
I, however, was not so lucky.
I sat there, staring into the ceiling as the shadows bore into my eyes. Unmoving and silent. I did try to sleep, by any time I would close my eyes, fear overtook me by my vulnerability.
It was like an itch I desperately needed to scratch. Sometimes, my mind would recount small things as 'bad omens'; as if I missed doing one small thing, another bad thing will happen.
And now, it kept on telling me that I was going to be taken away, or eaten, or wake up in a strange place if I fell asleep. Or never wake at all.
I tried arguing with it, but it never left.
Undertaker is here, I thought. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to us.
Oh yeah? The thoughts retorted. And what if he knew of your dream?
He… he said he loves us forever. He promised! He wouldn't care…
Then why didn't you tell him?
I had no response. No justification.
I just! I– I just!
I felt like yelling all of a sudden. Defensive. Like hurting the voice that wouldn't leave me alone. Anything to make it go away.
He loves us… he loves us… he loves us…
And if he doesn't?
He loves us… he loves us…!
I repeated. Over and over. My eyelids were slipping, and my vision was blurry. My body was so stiff and heavy, but I couldn't sleep. No. I couldn't.
I dug my nails into my palms, but they were too short. I scratched endlessly at my forearm, trying to focus on the pain instead of sleep.
Then I froze. I looked up to the Undertaker, sleeping at my side. I pulled my hand quickly away from my arm, then looked down to my hands.
Would he love us if he knew? If he knew this? Would he love us?
That question rang in my head. Over and over. My hands shook and wouldn't stop. I clenched them on my stomach, which contorted painfully.
I was overcome.
Stay with us a little longer…
Please… don't leave. Please… I'll die without you…
I can't help it… I'm- I can't– I… Please...!
Tears fell silently down my face as I stared into the darkness. Heaving shoulders shook my body. My breathing became fast and choked. My throat was tight and hurt. I whimpered and my voice strained.
Bad move.
Suddenly, the Undertaker turned on his side. I grew tense. His eyes fell open slowly, meeting my shocked ones immediately. His hand went to my cheek and wiped away a tear, his face contorted into a misplaced frown. A rare and unnatural frown I didn't feel he should ever wear.
He leaned closer and cleared my hair away from my face, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head.
Be calm, he seemed to say. I'm here.
It's okay.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. Undertaker just held me there, and began humming softly. My tense and shaking frame slowly melted into calm, and I leaned into him. I tried to float in the warmth of him. Tried to drown in his song.
But the thoughts never left us. Never. My fist closed around his clothing desperately.