Chapter Text
According to Howard Stark’s calculations, Peggy would reappear in 1941 Brooklyn. Not only did she volunteer to test his new time machine, she was still aching so much for Steve that she wanted to see him before his serum, and have a chance to be with him even for a moment before she lost him forever. Howard wasn’t aware of her motives and why she really agreed to test out the machine, and she knew that he probably would’ve talked her out of it. She knew where and when she would be dropped, but she also knew when she had to be back in the same place to catch the portal back to 1948.
When she came to after her time travel, the city around her didn’t look terribly different from what she was used to in April of 1948. She would have to find a newspaper or a magazine and check the date to see if it worked. She wandered the streets, thankfully still able to fit in with the fashion of the day, as well as her perfectly curled hair and victory red lipstick. That was one thing she was grateful for - that she didn’t look like a fish out of water, or a woman out of her own time.
Peggy found a newspaper stand on the next street corner and easily found the date was in fact in 1941, and she sighed in relief. It had worked. She pulled the envelope out of her purse to refresh her memory of the address of her destination of choice; her own secret mission. Howard had given her clear instructions on how to return, but what if she didn’t follow the steps? What if she chose not to return? There was no way to tell how Steve would react to meeting her now. There was no way to tell how she would react to seeing him again.
She also had to remember that this would be pre-serum Steve, not the Steve she had kissed goodbye. But that was perfectly fine; he would still be her sweet, beloved Steve. She smiled to herself as she continued on her journey, remembering his sweet shyness and how she used to catch him staring at her even before his transformation, way before she showed interest in him herself.
She reached the Brooklyn apartment and knocked, silently praying to herself that he would be home. She felt an ache in her stomach - a knot of nerves and anticipation over potentially seeing him again. How would he react to meeting her? Would he like her? Would he believe her story?
But it wasn’t Steve who opened the door, but Bucky Barnes, Steve’s constant best friend, who had always been the physical opposite of Steve. Tall, fit, confident, good-looking and very much aware of it.
Bucky grinned at her and leaned in the doorframe, immediately turning on the charm. “Well hello, what can I do for a beauty like you?”
Peggy flushed. “I-I’m looking for Steven Rogers.”
“He’s not here; he’s in art class. He should be back in about half an hour.”
Steve took art classes? She loved that about him, and felt her heart flutter; she had always thought he was a talented artist. Perhaps he should’ve been a cartoonist if he hadn’t become America’s Hero. The super soldier job fit his personality and his abilities; he was the epitome of goodness, chivalry, and nobility. Not only was he the perfect soldier, he was also the perfect man.
She shifted, not sure if she should stay or go. It would be awkward to sit here and wait for Steve with Bucky here; she knew Bucky well enough and he was kind, but he didn’t know her. She wondered if he thought it was odd to have a strange woman sitting in their apartment waiting for his roommate. She didn’t want to ask, but she also didn’t know where else to go.
“You’re welcome to wait here for him. Like I said, he shouldn’t be too long. How do you know Steve?”
She nodded. “I-I’m in love with him.”
Bucky didn’t mean to let out a laugh, but Steve didn’t have girls falling for him, especially girls like this one. It was hard enough for Steve to get a date at all, and most of the dates were doubles with Bucky - and Bucky had never seen this beauty before in his life. He had no idea how Steve would’ve met a girl like this.
If he had, he was certain he’d pursue her himself.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Bucky said, “I just…I don’t mean to be unkind, but Steve doesn’t get dates like you.”
Peggy knew of Steve’s difficulty to ask women out before he took the serum, and he was shy even after. Or perhaps that had been because he only had eyes for her. She nodded. “I know it sounds completely mad,” she said. “But I need to see him.”
Bucky gestured for her to have a seat at their kitchen table and he gave her a glass of water. He didn’t have much to say to her and she didn’t seem to be volunteering much information herself. Should he ask how she knew Steve? How they had met? How she’d fallen in love with him? Instead he kept to himself. The minutes dragged by, and then they could hear a key in the door. Bucky rose to meet Steve in the living room and Peggy sat up straighter.
She overheard Bucky. “You have a guest waiting for you. She says she’s in love with you, why didn’t you tell me you had a sweetheart? And my word, she’s the most beautiful dame I’ve ever seen.”
“I don’t have a sweetheart, she has to be mistaken,” Steve replied.
“Well that’s what I thought,” Bucky said. “But she’s insistent that it’s you.”
Steve shrugged, now eager to meet this beautiful woman who claimed to be in love with him. He followed his friend into the kitchen and met Peggy’s eyes for the first time. She was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen - with her perfectly coiffed dark curls, red lips, deep brown eyes, and those curves.
The beauty looked like she was about to cry at the sight of him. No one had ever looked at him with all the love in the world in her eyes, and he fully believed that this woman absolutely adored him, from that first glance. “Steve,” she whispered. What made her feelings even more evident was the next move she made, when she crossed the room, placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him full on the lips. Steve stumbled back and dropped his sketchbook and drawing pencils; it was his first kiss after all.
She broke the kiss at the sound of the clatter of the pencils on the floor and they dropped to their knees together to retrieve the mess. “Oh I’m so sorry,” she said softly, and Steve noted her elegant British accent. How had a British woman fallen in love with him? He had never been out of New York.
“It’s okay, I’m just…wow.”
Their hands reached for the same pencils and she held his there on the floor for a moment, their faces only inches apart. Then she was kissing him again, kneeling on the floor, her hands on his cheeks, and he had to admit that he loved it, and didn’t want her to stop, but they had to. They rose, set the art supplies on the kitchen table, and he instinctively reached for her waist and pulled her close again, just to be able to hold her. Peggy leaned in for another kiss but he pulled back. “Wait, I don’t even know your name.”
“Peggy,” she replied. “Peggy Carter.”
He repeated her name and tried to see if it jogged any memory, but he couldn’t remember meeting a Peggy recently. “Well, I think you’re very sweet, Miss.”
“Steve…I-I love you,” she said. “I know you don’t know me, but one day you will.”
“One day?” Steve really was confused. “I’m going to need you to explain that one to me.” He gestured for her to follow him to his room and they sat on his bed.
“Well, I know it’s going to sound crazy, but…”
“I’m used to a little crazy right now,” he said. A beautiful woman claiming she loved him and kissing him was enough to accept some crazy circumstances.
“I came from the future - 1948 to be exact - and we’re experimenting with time travel, and I really wanted to see you because I miss you so much.”
“You miss me…?” Somehow that’s what he focused on, instead of the part about time travel and visiting from the future.
Peggy nodded and he saw her eyes well up with tears. “We lost you at the end of the war - in ‘45, and I just can’t handle not seeing you ever again.”
Steve felt his heart sink. It was 1941 and he died in 1945? He didn’t have many years left of his life, but at the same time the end of the war was in sight. This poor woman was in so much pain from losing him that she had to time travel to kiss him again. All of this was overwhelming, unbelievable, and yet she was so sweet and so beautiful that he wanted to trust that she was telling the truth. “You loved me so much that you had to see me now?”
She nodded. “I told you, I sound completely mad.”
“A little,” Steve admitted. “But I believe you.”
Peggy smiled. “I’m glad,” she said, and reached for his hands. “It’s so good to see you again. I don’t want to tell you how it all ends for us and how we meet. I want you to be surprised when you see me again.”
“You’re not staying with me?” he asked, suddenly disappointed that this beauty who had kissed him so generously was leaving him.
Peggy shook her head. “I can’t, I do need to go back to my own year. This was just an experiment with the time machine.”
This all sounded like something in science fiction, but he supposed anything could happen in the future. “I’ll miss you,” he said, and he realized how true it was. He had just met her, and he already would miss her. He’d miss her pretty eyes and her lips on his, and holding her waist. “And won’t you miss me?”
She nodded. “More than anything,” she replied. “But I at least have this day and these moments to hold onto. This was more than we had before. I only kissed you once.”
“That’s a shame,” he said, because this Peggy was a wonderful kisser and he could get used to holding her and falling for her. He was surprised to realize that he was so easily falling in love with her already.
“Well then, when you meet me again, promise me you won’t be too shy. Make sure you kiss me - her - more than once. That night you see her in a red dress, make sure you follow her out of the pub. I wanted you to come after me, ask me on a date, and kiss me in the hallway. I wore that dress on purpose because I knew it would drive you wild.”
“A red dress? What does it look like?”
Peggy laughed. “I don’t want to spoil the surprise. You’ll know it when you see it.”
Steve grinned. “Alright alright, I promise I’ll come after you and ask you out.”
She looked pleased and leaned in and resumed kissing him, and Steve leaned her back onto his bed. He had never had a girl in his bed in his entire life, and he knew this wasn’t proper, but how could he not take advantage of every moment with her, since they had so little time anyway?
Bucky passed in front of their open door. “Steve!” The couple instantly pulled apart. “Can I talk to you?”
Steve grinned sheepishly at Peggy and followed his friend out into the hallway.
“What?”
“You just met her,” Bucky said. He really didn’t want to discourage Steve from finding romance, but this girl was also way out of his league. She was way out of Bucky’s league too, if he was being honest with himself.
“Yeah, and she’s sweet - and have you seen her? Why wouldn’t I want to kiss her?”
“I have seen her, and I think she has to want something. C’mon Steve, you have a hard enough time getting dates, and this dame is absolutely gorgeous.”
“You think she’s too pretty for me?”
“Actually, yes, I do,” Bucky said. “I care about you, Steve. I don’t want you getting hurt when she leaves and you never see her again.”
Steve knew that but he also felt like Bucky was jealous that this beauty wanted him. He also knew that that was exactly what was going to happen. Peggy was going to leave and he wouldn’t see her again for years. But Steve huffed. “Well, she cares about me too, and I don’t have a lot of time with her, so if you’ll excuse me…” He returned to his room and closed the door.
Peggy was perched on his bed, her legs crossed gracefully. She smiled at him, now suddenly demure, despite their wandering hands and passionate kisses moments earlier. “Are you alright?” she asked.
Steve sighed. “Yeah, I think he’s just concerned about me…about us.”
She nodded. “He wouldn’t understand,” she said.
“He gets plenty of dates, and I don’t, and I think he’s gotten used to taking me under his wing, so to speak. And now that you’re here. Is he jealous? He said you’re too pretty for me, which is probably true.”
“I think he could be,” she said. “And perhaps a little upset that you don’t need him to guide you through this. I am not too pretty for you, Steve.”
“You are,” Steve replied. “But I still care about you.”
“I will always love you,” she said softly.
Steve crossed the room and sat next to her. She leaned in for a kiss, tentative as they restarted their passionate touching. A thought occurred to Steve. This was his only chance. This was her only chance. Even if he was going to see Peggy again in the future - this one would go back to her own time alone, and never have a chance to experience this again.
“Peggy,” he said softly, unsure how to ask her this. “Do you want us to…do you want me to…if it’s our only chance to be…if it’s our only chance to have this…?”
She responded with more kissing and reached up to unbutton her dress. “I do,” she said. “I want this. I want you.” She couldn’t believe Steve had offered this; she was never going to ask him to make love to her, but if Steve thought this was the right idea, how could she deny him anything. He thought the same, how could he deny her this chance? If she loved him like she said and they were going to end tragically, shouldn’t they have this one moment of bliss together?
She pulled her dress off and discarded it to the floor, and he unbuttoned his own shirt and pulled it off. She was perfect and voluptuous in her lace undergarments, and he couldn’t believe that he had this absolute beauty in his bed and she couldn’t keep her hands off of him.
He was even smaller than she remembered, but she loved him even more for it. She would never have the chance to be with him again, even after his transformation. So she loved him now and held onto this moment, this memory, and him. Her sweet darling Steve.
Their lovemaking was soft and slow, hesitant and sweet, as they explored each others’ bodies. She was perfect to him, and he to her, even though neither of them knew what they were doing. They found a soft rhythm and began to enjoy the experience, and at the end, Peggy curled up in his arms, her head on his chest, and cried. He knew it wasn’t because it was a bad experience, but because it was wonderful, and this was all she would ever have of him, and she would miss him - and this - forever.
“You have to go, don’t you?” he asked.
She nodded. “I don’t want to,” she said. “I want to stay with you forever.”
He nodded too, and stroked her arm. “We could run away together, ignore the war, and just do this for the rest of our lives.”
She knew how much that would mess up the future if Steve never became Captain America, never defeated the Red Skull, and if Peggy hadn’t ever met him, and then had never become an agent in the SSR. It would be selfish to take Steve away from his destiny, and to take her away from hers, just for the sake of this love.
“I wish we could, darling, but the world needs you,” she said.
“But I need you,” he said.
She knew what he meant, and dropped a kiss onto his chest. “You’ll see me again. Well, not me, but the version of me you’re meant to meet. Please don’t forget what you promised.”
“I will love her,” he said. “And I love you.”
“I love you too, Steve.”
They kissed again and she rose from the bed, his eyes hovering over her naked form, taking in the beauty of her figure as she began to retrieve her undergarments, stockings, and dress. He followed and began to redress as well.
“I’ll come with you where you need to go back…so I can say goodbye.”
“Thank you,” she said softly, afraid her voice would break if she spoke more. She reached up and smoothed down Steve’s hair, and he put his arm around her waist.
They emerged from Steve’s room, and he waved goodbye to Bucky, gesturing to Peggy. He took her hand and they left the apartment, walking silently those few blocks to where she appeared in this year. They reached the alley she remembered, and she threw her arms around his neck.
There was so much she still wanted to say, and so many questions he still had, but he supposed that he would find those answers out in a few years when they met again. She said everything she had to say when she kissed him one last time.
I will never forget you. I will always love you. You are my whole heart, my love forever, my one true love. You are the one. I’ll miss you always. Thank you for this, for the kisses, for the love you’ve shown me. I love you, I love you, I love you. Goodbye, my darling.
Steve reached up and cupped her cheeks and stared into her eyes, streaming with tears. “You have this day to hold onto, Peggy,” he said. “We had more today than you ever had before. I promise I will love you when I see you again.”
She cried and held him. “I’m just going to miss you,” she said. “My sweetheart.”
He kissed her again. “I love you.”
“I love you too, always.”
And then she was gone, and he was alone again. But he knew one day he’d see her again, but she was going back to a time without him. She would never see him again, but he was going into a future where he had to make a move and take advantage of the moments he would have with her. The Peggy he met couldn’t know what he knew about their love, so he had to take it slow, but this was Peggy, and she would fall in love with him all over again once they met.
Steve would find his love one day, and that gave him hope. And he had experienced the most beautiful love, and the sweetest and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He would miss her and his heart would ache for her until he saw her again, but knowing he would see her at all made him smile. He didn’t need to explain to Bucky what had happened between them, only that she was gone and he would always love her.
Peggy reappeared in 1948, and sank to the floor in tears. Howard Stark rushed to her side, and held her while she told him everything but the intimate details.
“He loves you, Peg,” Howard said. “No matter when, how, or where, he loves you.”
She nodded, and held her broken heart, trying to keep it together.
In July 1949, a wartorn and slightly older Steve Rogers appeared on Peggy Carter’s doorstep in Alexandria, Virginia, and knocked on her door. It was his turn to do some time traveling, using the same technology that Howard Stark had dabbled in in his own time.
She opened the door and gasped at the sight of the Steve who had left her, not the one she shared an afternoon with in 1941 during her time jump, but the man who the world knew as Captain America. She was still heartbroken over losing both versions of Steve - especially the shy and sweet one she had made love to the year before.
“You were right,” he said. “I did love you, and that red dress was intoxicating, as were your kisses in the hallway at that pub.”
“Steve,” she said.
“But I couldn’t let you live your life alone. I missed that beautiful girl I met before the war, and the girl I left behind during it. I don’t have to leave you this time. I’m yours, Peggy. Yours forever.”
She broke down in tears and threw her arms around his neck. “You came back,” she said.
“Of course I did. I couldn’t leave my best girl,” he replied. “I love you, Peggy.”
“I love you too, Steve.” And then she kissed him, and they lived happily ever after.