Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"I don't think that I want to be here."

The crowd is buzzing with life, the room is packed and the smell of alcohol, pheromones, and drugs fills the air. The music is so loud, no one would doubt that it is hyperacusis-inducing. This is not Jungwon's crowd. Never been Jungwon's crowd. But he is here, in the middle of the huge villa with a purple cup in hand as he tries to reduce the stiffness of his body between these masses of drunken young adults that are celebrating the new start of the school year.

A huge blinking red neon sign is on the wall, it says ''You only live once.'' and it strikes Jungwon as it completely diverge from his life motto.

The acquaintance he met few days ago invited him promising that this would be the "craziest party of the entire year!" and for being crazy, it is. There is a huge swimming pool outside with hordes of teenagers half-naked drinking and making out, to even more, fireworks are being set every fifteen minutes and the DJ is seemingly doing his job right. This is Jungwon's first party. Well, he has been to parties before, party is actually a big word considering he always knew everyone at those small close friends gatherings during movie nights. Not full-blown out with a real disco ball and counting more than a hundred of people.

He has an inkling of why it is so filled since it’s the start of the school year many freshmen came to socialize and make friends to ease the awkwardness of being new all together. Who would refuse ?

He looks inside his drink as the dark blue and red neon lights play on his face. Sunoo pulls on his shoulder visibly already drunk enough to be overly touchy. Jungwon doesn't mind. Sunoo's cheeks are vividly pink and there is a huge smile on his face as he screams over the music "I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!" Jungwon then smiles at him and nods back.

This is not his crowd. But he doesn't hate it as much as he expected. So this is the real student life ? He contemplates before getting pulled by Sunoo into a dance. He lets himself go, enjoying his very first party against many other people. He feels more confident in his steps maybe because he knows that he doesn't look that bad with the stares that he has been getting.

Sunoo insisted on styling him and he did not complain because three people approached him already throughout the night. He drinks in his cup as he yells the easy lyrics of the song playing with Sunoo. There are hands on his hips and he is having fun slowly getting inebriated.

He is pulled by Sunoo again to the bar, a guy who is already a friend of Sunoo is standing with what seems like a lollipop in his mouth and holding a transparent jar with small papers inside. He is blonde and close to Jungwon's height.

"Hi, I am Jake. The games are going on in the first floor, feel free to come guys !" The glance Sunoo gives to Jungwon says that he is not even given a choice so he lets himself be dragged by his overexcited friend on the stairs as the first heavily remixed notes of Party Monster by TheWeeknd begins to resonate. The first floor is less packed than the ground floor but significantly warmer for some reason.

Jungwon removes his jacket to hold it around his arm and they meet multiple groups of people sitting in different circles and further a bigger commotion is playing beer pong. This floor is also dimmer, Jungwon wonders if it's done on purpose or if the lighting is just simply trash. Some games have already started and over capacity.

Sunoo and Jungwon finally stumble in a room without a started game, this one has a lot of people compared to the others and is significantly denser. It is difficult to make out people's faces but the atmosphere seems lighthearted and friendly. Jungwon and Sunoo sit in the circle and are handed small bouts of paper by a girl who smiles at Jungwon. "I hope luck will be on my side." Jungwon is lost but he is so buzzed thanks to the few drinks he had that he brushes it off still unaware of the game that will be played. Truthfully, they just came and sat in a circle of people all high and drunk to even remember half of what is currently happening tomorrow.

The man from earlier, Jake comes back into the circle after turning off the room lights to set the atmosphere. He sits in the middle of the circle and lights up a single match for dramatic effect but he looks more ridiculous than anything because the flame sets off right away and the light emitting of people's phones ruin the desired darkness. "Damn can I start ?" People laugh before finally setting their phones down. He gets a candle and light it up.

"Welcome pretties and queers to the party of the year! We are going to play my favorite game. I hope you have all read the number on your paper."

Jungwon's stare drifts to his paper where there is instilled the number "99" in red, he flips it to find something else but there is nothing. He peeps at Sunoo who has the number "12".

"This game has three rules. First, you can NOT by any means back out once you have gotten your number. Second, you are prohibited to know your partner's identity when you go inside, that means no looking and no talking. Third, respect the second rule or it's not fun."

Jungwon's curiosity is pickled because he still doesn't know which game they will play. He looks inquisitively at Sunoo who seems to be in the same boat because he raises his shoulders, glossy lips naturally pouting.

"Jake can you hurry this thing ?" A guy named Sunghoon surrounded by girls, whom Sunoo talked with and introduced earlier makes the comment.

"Shh! Let's start Blind Kiss !" Jungwon almost chokes on the new drink he was offered. Sunoo laughs while tapping on his shoulder "This sounds so interesting !" he says, Jungwon rolls his eyes but anxiety is swimming in waves under his skin.

"So how it works, there is another circle playing outside and both are connected. They all picked numbers from one to a hundred just like you guys and if by chance- no by destiny because think about that insane probability, you will match up then practically just do seven minutes in heaven but here is the twist, you can not see each other and you will have to kiss."

The circle explodes in comments and excitement and they automatically starts counting the number left while Jungwon is still trying to process the rules. Well he knows seven minutes in heaven but he is not really into the kissing part. He winces while looking at his number, body getting hotter. Just like Jake said the probability is almost impossible if that circle is also around twenty people-ish. He can only pray or simply not say that it's him when his turn comes. He smiles to himself, taking another sip more relaxed as he has already thought of a strategy.

Suddenly the room goes pitch dark.

"No light, for privacy no one will know. Isn't it thrilling ?"

Jungwon reaches for his phone to check on the time but he is quickly ushered to turn it off. He stretches his legs and the roll call officially begins, number one to eight no match is happening and he thinks that some people may have chosen the same strategy than him: to remain silent. Until someone finally gets up when the number 9 is called and his throat constricts. Time passes and they play a multitude of games in between as people go and come, other that never come back. And it is obvious that people are getting more tempted and excited at the prospect of going into the dark closet as they give secret looks to their papers waiting for their number to randomly be called.

Sunoo does not get a match, and he makes it everyone's problem. Jungwon laughs as his friend ramble about the "disgusting misconception" and the "filthy fraud" that is destiny and all that "soulmates bullshit". Time is falling and the numbers are going up, Jungwon is having discussions here and here, a cup or two as the room is getting emptier due to people leaving. The alcohol now has predominantly embdued his streams, making it easier for him to have flowy conversations with complete strangers. He played truth or dare but was lucky enough to not get picked for two rounds before he gave up, laid on Sunoo that is putting stickers on his cheek, where his dimple is.

"Random again, ninety nine ?"

His mind goes back to the blinking red neon sign downstairs and he wonders... Jungwon eyes blink open, but he closes them very soon enough when Sunoo yells his name while jostling his shoulders. "Jungwon it's you ! You have a match !".

Fuck why did he show him ?

He runs a light hand on his face as he clumsily gets off the floor. Legs slightly shaky and hair messed up to oblivion. He can't believe he is about to do this.

"I need the toilets." He exits the room as Jake points to him the door he is supposed to go to when he is ready in the dimmed hall. He stumbles in the bathroom first. Eyes unfocused when he looks at himself in the mirror. The black satin shirt he was wearing is loosing its gleam, his eyeliner has dripped and honestly, he fits the crowd now with his ruined doll look. He peels off the colorful stickers and runs water down his face, easily drying it down with a luckily clean towel.

He taps on the back pocket of his black jeans and fishes in a tube of lib balm he even forgot was there but thanks to Sunoo for slipping it in for him after a myriad comments about his chapped lips. He runs a hand on his hair and steal a last look at his face that is betrayingly trying to hold his excitement in.

On the door of the closet is a red sign, "HERE, LIGHTS ARE OFF." and Jungwon takes a last deep breath before opening the door. It closes behind and immediately he knows.

His match is inside already.
The air is warm and humid, everything Jungwon hates. And there is this smell.

Keeping his eyes closed, he stands. Unable to even trace figures behind his eyelids because of the lack of light source. He thinks he must look like an idiot if anyone could even see him. There is a wall behind him, but no corner for him to refer because the space is excruciatingly limited.

He makes another small step just to confirm only to realize that he only has so little area to move, faltering a little.

He gasps, gravitation failing him down his legs as his body unintentionally leans in, weakly taking the fall and he thinks this is the ridicule end of this stupid initiative before hands catch his hips, stabilizing him and he stills.

A man. His breath hitches and his body cooks up reactions it never had before such as his lower abdomen turning and his temperature going up. The hands are large and solid. Jungwon knows that the man is taller. His breath is hot and also a little labored. It eases Jungwon to know that he isn't the only one under the nerves.

His palms are warm and Jungwon can feel every crevices and bumps through the light material of his shirt. He takes a deep breath, this is only a game. That's what he tells himself.

His skin is itching and his throat is dry. Begging him to say or do something, anything. But it's like his body has lost control of his will. Commands not passing through anymore as he breathes in the smokey smell of leather and dark oud. The stranger has a distinct manly scent, strong and rich with this hint of expensive. Like a very costly fragrance. The ones Jungwon would never buy because he prefers the smell of notebooks and flowers. He drowns deep in it and revels in how addictive it is.

One of the hand leaves his waist to hold on his chin delicately, his head is tilted up. He fought the need but curiousity got the best of him, even though he knows. Jungwon blinks open, but is still in darkness. He can see outlines, a hairline for the contrast of black hair and skin, his jawline... nothing else. He is like a shadow, coming straight out of Jungwon's wild imagination.

He gulps down as the stranger must feel it. His lips part open and his hand goes to wrap around the stranger's wrist, giving him consent to keep going.

His hands go under Jungwon's shirt to possessively caress the soft skin underneath. Pulling Jungwon closer and closer until their bodies fit tight together— and Oh does Jungwon think they fit well. Just like two pieces of a puzzle fitting every nooks and borders. The stranger is sturdy, only wearing a simple t-shirt but Jungwon can feel how hard and convexed his limbs are. He seems strong. Also taller than Jungwon from what he feels.

His mind reels when his own hand tentatively explore the stranger's torso. Feeling a solid mass, anything for physical contact. And Jungwon never knew he would like it this much. Like being touched, caressed and held..
He sighs, hand pulling on a broad shoulder for more. He also never knew he could be this needy.

His shoe insoles are high, but the strangers is taller. He gets to the tips on his toes, needily asking more of that contact. He can feel the stranger's smile against his jawline.

"Needy baby." His voice is breathy, not really stable but Jungwon's isn't either.

As their bodies stood mere inches apart, the heat radiating between them was palpable. Jungwon could feel his warm breath against his skin, teasing all of his senses. With every passing second, the magnetic pull grew stronger, until it became impossible to resist any longer.

An angel passes and warm lips finally slot against his. They are soft and wet. Jungwon never kissed somebody. Never in his nineteen years of living. He doesn't really know what to do except follow his lead and learn what his body also likes the most. The stranger tastes like strawberries, vodka, and a hint of mint. And Jungwon loved it. It started slow, a gentle exploration, but soon escalated into a fervent exchange of desire. Mouths moved in perfect harmony, each touch igniting a spark of fire within Jungwon. The darkness surrounding them seemed to disappear as Jungwon lost himself in the intoxicating taste and texture of the other's lips.

Mind going blank and hands rushing to hold onto something. The stranger invites him to part his lips and Jungwon does. Tongue and teeth clashing. This was his first kiss and all he could think about is how he wanted this to go further. How desperate he was and how good it felt.

Their lips detach stealing a soft noise from Jungwon and he could feel more embarrassed about it. They catch on their breath but the other is one step ahead.
"Fuck, you are everything sweet." He says in a deep voice. Breaking a rule of the game.

Fuck the game. His lips trail on Jungwon's neck. Tongue and lips laving against his sensitive skin sending shivers to Jungwon's spine. He fondles his skin, showering Jungwon with attention and kisses and he feels lightheaded.

"You sound so cute."

The stranger hooks one of his legs between Jungwon to help him get some release. Jungwon sighs, sinking a little lower when the stranger's hand goes around his waist and holds all of his body tightly. He is letting away these desperate little sounds that the stranger avidly drinks in, encouraging him to be more vocal.

His heart is beating fast in his chest. Fingers lost in the stranger's soft hair as he let him suck on his lower lip. Jungwon was at his total mercy right now, so open, so docile, so fragile. The stranger fights the urge to bite against his soft skin but settles for self-indulging licks that have Jungwon grinding down harder. His body is crippling hot.

He palms Jungwon's ass, hands firm around the fabric, desperately feeling all of this delicious boy. Jungwon's head starts to spin. Hips already rutting for release with the help of the man who exactly knows what Jungwon needs.

Because soon enough he lifts Jungwon against the wall. Cramped space not giving much freedom of movement but allowing Jungwon to circle his legs around the stranger's waist. A hand goes to hold to back of his head and Jungwon's heart skips a beat at the careful attention.
Arms pulling the stranger closer for another kiss and getting lost in their lust like it was addictive again and again...

"TIME'S OVER !"

|||||||||||||||||

Seventeen months later.

There is a reason why deadlines are called deadlines.
Jungwon was at his third assignment of the week halfway through this pack of energy drinks to get him awake for the night. He believes burnouts are real, but his always manifest when he expects them the least. But he knows he is about to reach a burning point. His eyes stay riveted on the screen of his laptop— words mixing up on the reflection of his glasses.

One side glance at the clock on top of his desk and it's way past 3 AM.

He loves biology. He has always been intrigued by everything. The slightest bit of knowledge was always a valuable asset to him. From the formation of the earth to the theories behind atoms, the unseen, and the concrete, he thinks everything deserves to be questioned. Don't call him a philosopher, he is just mentally stuck at the dispised age where kids question every single thing and he hasn't left once throughout the rest of the twenty years he has lived. He has asked so many questions and got so little of answers that he started trying to come up with questions that no one would ever get the answers to.

The unseen for example. His favorite topic.

People say often that the unseen is scary. Jungwon has a bridge to share. The unseen is everything he loves, the unseen conflicts with everything else. The void is intimidating because no one knows where it ends. Invisible things a frightening because our minds can't perceive them. It is not scary, people are simply fearful.

Back to the matter, Jungwon is curious and organisms are at the roots of everything. Naturally, you know why he loves biology.

But god knows that the last thing he wants to do right now is to write down detailed observations about amphibians' reproduction system.

He combs a hand through his black hair, still damp from the shower he took earlier. His eyelids are heavy and he can hear the soft pitter-patter of the rain starting outside. It doesn't break a sweat from his focus. His fingers hit rapid furious shots at his keyboard. He needs this done by 8 AM. He doesn't struggle with deadlines usually, but whenever he does he leaves the nightmare with mental bruises. This predicament gets him on edge each time he has the flashing memory of a due paper. Jungwon is nervous.

Someone knocks once at his door before snapping it open. And he already knows what is about to come. A blond ball of hair sneaks in.

"Don't be loud." That is all Jungwon says.

Minjae only smiles. His sweaty face and rugged eyeliner indicate that he returned from a party. And the dark hickey littering on his collarbone says that he brought someone to get laid. The guest of the night is probably waiting by the porch, restlessly facing the kitchen idle while looking at their wet shoes wondering if they will get to roll in the sharp hay of a one-time after-party fuck. Obviously not one time on the bed, because one thing Jungwon knows, is Minjae can go for hours without stopping with his noises.

"Can't bet on it." Minjae replies giddily. So giddy that Jungwon wonders if his roommate will be able to know what he is doing in bed with his partner for the night. He almost stumbles on Jungwon's print machine beside his desk. His eyes are dilated under the influence with cheeks that get redder as time goes by.

Jungwon worries,
"Dude, are you sure-"

"Yes, heck yeah... don't fucking tell me what to do... ok ? I am fine. I am consenting... haha... I am consenting to get dicked down !"

Giggly, hyper and horny. One thing this tells Jungwon, Minjae and his one-night-stand met when Minjae was showing off his perfect blunt rolling skills. Seeing the hot shiny target, the jock brought him a drink and they had a short talk about the party's song choices and sororities. Then Minjae took them to sniff two or three lines in the bathroom and went down on his knees. Next thing they were both power-adrenaline walking back to the dorms where the sleep-deprived, exhausted roommate that is Jungwon was exploring his generic in-depth researches. He knows it all.

And never in this timeline has Minjae ever reminded himself that Jungwon told him explicitly to not bring anyone over tonight.

"Heh... and...he is so hot, I bet his di-"

"Enough, you can leave."

"Meanie. You are so mean."

He rolls his eyes one last time before getting up and snapping the door in Minjae's face. Knowing that a horrible cacophony is about to hit his ears in approximately three minutes, he reaches up for his headphones. He still has seven pages left. He can only pray that the wheels of his brain will win over the dark circles looming under his eyes and the dirty moans that are about to come.

ততততত

When Jungwon presses submit, the faint sounds of birds chirping should be heard. The sun should be on its way out but the gloomy weather took over the beautiful sunrise. Jungwon shivers at the thought of being outside at this moment. It must be so cold and sinister. When he looks up at his clock it shows 5: 56 AM. He checks his schedule again and as far as he knows his first class of the day still starts at twelve noon. He could catch a good nap in between.

He can't hold in the yelp that escapes from his mouth once he stands up. After being sat on his desk chair for nearly six hours, the cramps are agonizing. He takes a minute to stretch and remove the hoodie he has been wearing the entire week whenever he is at home to another one (that he plans on wearing at home until next week, but don't tell anyone that).

He stands in front of his mirror while removing his pants, only left in clad black boxers and a white sweater with a cringe HURT BOY written in the middle with a skull drawing underneath. No, he is not hurt, nor thought about the design. He just wanted a comfortable cheap sweater to wear, the style does not matter. His overgrown bangs get in the way of his eyes when he removes his glasses and that makes him grumble so he put them back on to go get water from the kitchen.

The calm sounds of his socks trotting against the wooden floor fill the house as he slowly walks to the kitchen. Besides the kitchen, they have what you could call a semi-balcony. It's just a large bay window that takes up all the wall's height beside the fridge which opens up to a tiny standing spot barely enough for two people. The barrier is low. It stops at Jungwon's belly button and is also quite fragile. It gives Jungwon anxiety so he, most of the time, would rather stand against the wall or sit on top of the kitchen idle and open the windows to let the fresh air in as he admires outside.

He gulps down a bottle of water while staring outside. As he guessed, the sky is clouded gray. No sight of the sun yet, and a soft breeze he could guess by the smooth way the branches of the trees move. They are nearing the end of November and he is nothing but thrilled at the thought of a cooler and calmer weather.

The shrill that the balcony door emits is loud as always when he cracks it open, but not louder than the sudden sound of their bathroom door closing. Jungwon knows because they have a tacky metal "open-closed" sign hook hanging on the door to indicate when it is taken. Jungwon believes Minjae stole it from a shop but his roommate claims to have it purchased from his own pocket. The thing makes a horrible cling-clang noise when the door closes. He hears swearing words and foreign steps coming into the minuscule living room. Then a man appears. Time stills. A snake is all Jungwon sees.

The stranger stops too. Time stretches while Jungwon admires the stranger's naked torso. The guy is not wearing a shirt. A huge snake tattoo is all Jungwon can see, expanding on his golden chest doing the round of his arm, and by the shading, Jungwon can tell that it's an Inland Taipan. He knows because he had to babysit a friend's rosy boa last year and sat for the entire night looking up facts and lies about snakes. Jungwon doesn't have to guess to say that the Inland Taipan is the most poisonous snake on earth. The tattoo design is followed by dark flowers blooming around the snake and following him until he rests on the man's forearm.

Jungwon makes the attempt to ignore the toned abdominal muscles, he tries, and he also tries to ignore the bulging biceps, but again— he tries. The attempt is officially a failure when his eyes fall down to a pronounced V line that cut itself into black sweatpants. He mentally slaps himself, realizing this has been going on for more than a few seconds. He shamefully trails his eyes up to meet amused ones. They crinkle but no sign of a smile is detected. The man is stoic. Standing here with his wet black hair pushed back revealing strong facial features. His lower lip has a visible border line in the middle and Jungwon doesn't know why he finds that so attractive.

It's now that Jungwon realizes that the man is not literally half-naked. He is sporting a flimsy sheer baseball jersey that is unbuttoned, and wide open.

"Am I interrupting you pretty ?"

Maybe Jungwon used the wheels of his brain too much because he seems to have forgotten about the process of emitting sounds to form a clear sentence. Snake, stranger, Minjae, danger, flowers, hot... He feels a little dizzy. The wheels still run very slowly when he opens his mouth.

"I would've gone for a Banded Krait or a King Cobra."

The comment flies out of his mouth without processing the words. He blinks seemingly coming back to reality. The stranger looks at him, even more amused.

"If I was you, I would've gone for a tiny white cat."

Jungwon wants to crush the empty water bottle in his hand. Other than the fact he still hasn't processed that the stranger called him pretty just a second ago, Jungwon hates to be looked upon as something small. He doesn't even fight the strong furrow that takes over his face.

“And you are ?”

"Why would I answer ? You ignored my words twice." He doesn't even hide his smile anymore and Jungwon tries hard to not fixate on the boyish way his face lights up a little more. He has a shark smile, the one that can make girls and boys fold on their knees. Jungwon can already tell that he doesn't let those occasions slip.

"Did you come with Minjae ?"

"Oh yes, but I made him come before me... He did come a lot-"

"A simple yes would've sufficed."

"And he was right. You are really mean."

Jungwon can't help but roll his eyes. The breeze hits him. And he remembers where he is standing, in front of the balcony. The man starts walking nonchalantly his way. Jungwon leaves the empty water bottle somewhere on top of the kitchen aisle.

Back in the day, a 'deadline' used to be referred to as a line inside or outside a prison. Prisoners would get shot dead for crossing that line. The exception was for non-criminals who could pass it.

Jungwon at this instant can't tell if this man is a prisoner or an inoffensive soul coming for him.

"Beautiful day outside."
He can hear the sarcasm in the cocky stranger's voice. It’s deep, a little rough in the edges as if he has the habit to yell a lot. 

Jungwon doesn't reply. He has the habit of running a hand through the back of his head to brush the strands of hair when he is lost or confused. He is doing the exact same thing. The man gets closer, and Jungwon takes two steps to the left to let him accommodate in the crumpled balcony space.

I hate people. He thinks.

"Can I ?"
Calling for his attention, the stranger brands a crisp blunt rolled in brown paper. Jungwon dismissively hums at him. Hands over the railings careful to not lean on them. He just stands and lets the breeze hits on his face.

"A flame ?"

Jungwon sighs, and without looking at him says,
"Do I look like I walk around with a lighter ?" The stranger pauses. Jungwon's eyes stay riveted on the horizon but he can feel the man's gaze run all over him. He doesn't miss the longevity of his stare on his pale legs. Jungwon's skin starts itching under his long striped socks.

"Honestly, no."
The man pulls a lighter from his pocket and Jungwon rolls his eyes.

"A+ observation skills."

"Says the one who wears glasses."
Jungwon holds back an offended gasp which makes the stranger free the hint of a smile before getting the blunt to his lips. And Jungwon does not—he does— look at him for a short minute.

Jungwon opts for silence. He instead looks at the peach hues that are starting to appear in the sky far on top of their campus school of humanities. From here he can practically see the entirety of his college. The silence stretches and Jungwon prefers that. The calming scent of petrichor is still lingering in the air, he breathes in it.

"Are you a transferred student ? Part of this semester's freshman crowd perhaps ? I have never seen you around."

Jungwon sighs a second time before removing his glasses which are starting to get foggy. He takes the occasion to push his bangs better down his forehead, wiping down his glass with the long sleeves of his sweater.

"I am a whole sophomore. Been here for the last year."
He doesn't get offended because he does get this type of comment often. It never hits him because it is true. Jungwon is a real homebody and he was told multiple times that he looks younger than his age. Truthfully, going out has not been his thing since that fated night.

The stranger makes a sound of acknowledgment and Jungwon knows he sucks at conversation. But he never asked for one. To be honest, he still can't believe he is having a discussion right now with the guy his roommate picked up yesterday night to have sex. On their balcony, watching the sunrise, with involved, an illicit blunt. He wished he didn’t have to stay polite to his roommate’s guests all the time but Jungwon was just like that.

"You should go out more often."

Jungwon finally looks at him. Jungwon realizes that the man is slightly taller than him. Probably taller, more muscular, and more toned than he will ever be. The stranger looks down on him and Jungwon knows that he is making that face that his friends told him multiple times is absolutely the opposite of threatening.

"Who are you to tell me that ?"

"Park Jongseong. But you can call me Jay since we are about to be close."

"Park Jongseong... when are you leaving ?"
His heart skips a beat when the name rolls off his tongue. But he ignores it. The man turns to the scenery to blow the smoke.

Jungwon usually doesn't find anything attractive about self-destruction. But at this instant, he can't help but appreciate the ethos and thrill that comes from the imagery. Can't help but admire the glory of dry pink lips and tan skin glistening under the sunrise while toxic psychoactive fumes spread in his lungs. Jongseong has a strand of hair falling over his eyes and Jungwon fights the urge to push it back even though he looks undoubtedly sexy like this.

It's probably the post-coital charm. He thinks.

"When I feel like it."

That was effective enough to pull him out of his trance.
Jungwon never resorts to violence but right now he wants to smack him. Jeongseong turns to him with a smirk knowing well how he makes the other feel despite meeting him just twenty minutes ago.

"Don't frown. Makes you look ugly." He raises a finger to put between Jungwon's eyebrows but the latter bats it away as soon as it lands on his skin, eyes wide. Before he can spew out outrage, Jay beats him to it. As if he, himself is in utter shock. He looks at Jungwon with wonder.

"Were you ever told that you dangerously resemble to a cat ?"

"I am leaving."

He doesn't ask for permission before turning away. Steps quickly leaving the balcony to then the kitchen. He can still hear Jeongseong's faint laughter from behind him. Fading in the background and ready to haunt him for the rest of the day and even longer than he expected.

ততততত

"Did you get question 6 a-c right ?"

"Yes. Did you ?"

"Fucking Yang Jungwon ! How ? Literally, nobody got it."

"Guess my name is nobody then." He holds up his assignment paper to his best friends with that mocking smile he always supports when he flaunts his grades.
Riki rolls his eyes before snatching the paper. Jungwon knows he is the reference to everyone concerning answers and he loves it.

The library is quiet on Mondays. Everyone still washing off the torrid wildness from the weekend. Some are still mumbling under their breaths about how the weather is to go with their hangover mood on a day back to school.

At this time of the day, it is never packed. Before lunch after the first term when everyone is already out taking this time to hang out, Jungwon is doing the same with his two best friends. But in the library. Sunoo and Riki are sitting in front of him. Indulging him to spend the mandatory daily hour in the library that Jungwon imposed on himself.
He simply loves the smell of books and being surrounded by knowledge. Even the occasional chair pulls or hisses or even the whispered talks to get rid of the boredom. Jungwon wouldn't call it his safe place but there is a reason why people say the only thing you absolutely have to know in life, is the location of the library. One of his favorite sayings.

Their library also has glass walls, handy to admire the view of the soccer field and the clouds. Jungwon looks outside for a moment leaving what he is reading. The day has been getting gloomier. Jungwon loves it. He can feel the breeze despite being inside, the humid hair that makes his hair frizz up a little, and the cold that makes him want to sniff. The beautiful transition from autumn to winter. The little peace before midterms.

Little tics sounds bring him back to where he currently is physically. Almost lost in his beige FOG sweatshirt, Sunoo flips through his advanced finance book looking for insight before shooting rapid words on his laptop with a paper to submit soon. Jungwon sympathizes.

Riki on his side is still studying Jungwon's paper occasionally nodding to himself. His round specs are almost falling off the bridge of his nose with a toothpick in his mouth to help with focus. His dongsaeng's nose is already reddening because of the cold and Jungwon knows it's his turn soon.

Everyone is starting to dress warmly he also notices. Himself drowning in his black knitted sweater with a high neck. The comfortable material gives him the support that his third iced coffee of the day sitting on the table couldn't give.

A louder tic brings him back and he finally decides to pick up his abandoned book.

"This is so hard ! She better grade this well." Sunoo whines.

Riki scoffs turning to Sunoo for a minute. "You are doing this last minute and hope it will be graded well ?"

Jungwon holds a chuckle, immersed in his extensive Chemica textbook own-shared with Riki both in the same biochem major.

"Done it multiple times and scored excellently, thank you for your concern." Sunoo snaps back and Ni-ki replies something else, along the lines of "consistency" and "priorities" but Jungwon only let the banter fall in the background sounds. What he is trying to absorb is too complex to let his focus get distracted.

It doesn't last after a few minutes.
"Hyung, hyung what is exactly the hya-hyaloklossia ?"

Jungwon turns a page before looking at Ni-Ki.
"First, I am proud of you for pronouncing that well. Second, It's a kind of-"

His stare unintentionally, more by automatism, drifts a bit further to the back to meet sharp familiar eyes. Four large tables separate them but Jungwon can clearly tell that Park Jongseong is looking at him through all these people.

The latter is wearing a hat given to the school's sportsmen with the university logo. Black with a white eagle. Even though a shadow is cast on almost half of his face, Jungwon can tell that it's him. Cutting jawline is a hint.

His eyes widen against his will and Riki turns around too.

"Hyung ? Did you see a ghost ?"

Jay smiles at him, a toothless smile that makes him look endearing for a second. He even raises a hand to wave. Not the friendly wave. The excited wave that says "I've finally found you".
Jungwon raises his high pull neck up to his nose to hide what he can of his face. Embarrassed without knowing why.

It’s been close to two weeks since their only and last encounter back in Jungwon’s dorm. Jungwon has not been counting — It’s just not everyday that you meet a premium douchebag.

"No, I'm fine. Just got distracted."

Sunoo and Riki look at each other's confused and incredulous looks painted on their faces. Jungwon doesn't let the moment dilate before throwing himself into an in-depth explanation of the parasitism tendencies of the genus Hyaloklossia. Drops of time fall and Jungwon looks up after completing a mock quiz in the textbook. Jongseong has left.

ততততত

"Don't forget you are not under the water you are with the water !"

His swim goggles bite harshly on his skin but Jungwon can see the end wall coming closer and closer. The muscles of his arms are straining painfully, his thighs' nerves are on fire for this last lap. He has never been this fired up before.

His head emerges for a proper breath after his last lap of the day. His head spins for a few seconds and he slowly basks in the water.

"2'40. Yang keeps on getting better. It physically hurts to not have him on the team."

The swimming team coach begrudgingly walks to his bench swearing under his breath and Jungwon smiles. Still firm on his decision but welcomes the praise.
The water pull makes his goggles bite harder onto his skin and he knows they will be even redder as he breathes in and out.

"Jungwon-ah just join the team. You are beating half of our mains, seriously."
Park Sunghoon appears beside him on their way to the locker rooms, snatching off his swimming cap. Sunghoon is what Jungwon could call a celebrity friend. The man is fingers away from getting his bachelor's and has been friends with Jungwon since the latter started coming to swim laps occasionally. Sunghoon is so popular that Jungwon dreads interacting with him in public to shred attention off. Which his hyung understood before only approaching him in the closeness of the indoor swimming pool of their University with much fewer people on average days.

"I told you-"

"It is just a hobby I know. But the coach is right. Wasted potential."
The room is packed and Jungwon is facing his locker. Maneuvering his tech suit off while listening to the same rambling from Sunghoon who persists like always.

"It's for personal growth. Not for competition."

"Then fucking cut coming during our hours ! Do your shit while we are not here."

The room falls silent after Minjae snaps, coming directly at Jungwon over the bustle. Jungwon stills before pulling down his cream sweater wetting it while vainly trying to stop his cheeks from turning red under the attention and inquiring gazes.
The silence stretches and Jungwon avoids replying by shuffling through his bag.

"Listen, if your ego can't handle Jungwon catching up to your score then you need to go train more Minjae." Kang Taehyun the swim team captain, intervenes. He gives Jungwon a reassuring glance after setting the room on ice.

"And stop pressuring him. You are so annoying man." Sunghoon adds on because he is also that one overprotective hyung.
They don't instigate more because everyone knows that Jungwon and Minjae are roommates and relatively friends that tolerate each other from time to time. They aren't enemies or friends. But Jungwon admits that Minjae tends to show hostility in certain environments, avoiding interacting with Jungwon in front of his friends and stingy remarks.— Jungwon is immunized, or that's what he likes to tell himself.

Minjae snaps his locker door closed before storming off the room.

Jungwon checks the time on his phone. He will definitely run late to his tutoring session. At the thought, he packs up quickly to take leave after greeting everyone.

ততততত

"But I don't understand !"

"Okay, tell me what exactly you didn't get so I can help."

"Everything! It is so hard."

Lia throws herself on the table with a loud dramatic sigh, head in her arms. Jungwon revisits the math book holding his own sigh. The light on top of the large dinner table flickers a little as Jungwon revises the questions again for his student.

"Okay let's restart from the beginning. The area of a triangle is calculated by the base, time the height divided by two. Do you get that ?"

"Yes but here the base and the weight are not the same unit."

"Not the weight, it is the height. Let's focus some more."

Lia is the kid that Jungwon is helping in extra classes as a home teacher. She is a slow learner but Jungwon has to make his work worthwhile. Even though he rarely regrets taking up the job these past two months that he started tutoring, he admits that it can be tough. Lia struggles with focus and Jungwon fears it's an issue that doesn't get grace from the quality of education but from a personal reflection. So on times, like these Lia would like to talk about why she can't focus on the work and Jungwon jungles from therapist to teacher.

"But I can't focus again."

Jungwon sighs. Pulling the book towards him to close it solemnly.

"What is bothering you ?"

Lia sighs, fixing her eyes on the vase in the middle of the table. And contrary to the usual school banter, harsh teachers, and student gossip, Jungwon senses that today's issue is more delicate.

"Mom and dad had a fight."

"Do you want to tell me how that makes you feel ?"

Jungwon doesn't consider himself a therapist. He also doesn't think it is his place to chime in, but he wants to be a fair person to confide in. Considering that is what most teenager lacks the most. A person who doesn't judge and is open to their unfiltered thoughts and opinions.

And this situation is very familiar to him.

"I feel nervous. I don't like it."

"It is perfectly normal to feel nervous after seeing an altercation between people, you know. Even more between your parents."

Lia nods slowly, visibly processing each of his words. He has been in an awfully similar situation and he wished these same words were told to him. But he doesn't have the pretense to add more, the same experiences don't define everyone the same.

"What if they stop loving each other ?"

He takes a deep breath, "Parents fight too sometimes. Just like everyone. Doesn't mean they love each other less. You have had fights with your close friends too, does not mean you love them any less after."

Lia shakes her head with a growing smile this time. Her large eyes brighten up a little.

"Yes, I still love my friends."

"Good, now do you think we can continue ?"

She reopens the book and Jungwon smiles with a pang in his chest.

ততততত

Jungwon thought the day stopped his hate train after his more than-productive class with Lia. Well, he was wrong.

By the time he and Lia were done with the last problem-solving question,  heavy rain has started pouring outside. He drained leaving the house and riding his bike drenched in water. But he didn't have to drain any longer.

Because it happened exactly like that.

The rain is falling so heavily that all Jungwon can see far on the horizon are white streams dropping. The campus has never been this far. Usually, no more than half an hour's bike ride to arrive at his dorms from the downtown city.

He is drenched from head to toe and with his black vans covered in mud, it is gonna be hell to clean them out. Not to mention they have boldly passed their life span with the number of holes and cuts they got. They should be going straight to the trash after this.

The roads are empty. Because who in their right mind would drive under this weather ? Or even walk in it ? Ask Jungwon.

It gets worse.

He slipped earlier while driving his bike, the roadway too slippery for the sloppy wheels. A fast turn under the heavy stream on a tiny curve and he took the fall. Not like a champ. Jungwon is currently limping while walking with his bike as he is in the incapacity to pedal without getting an awful shoot of pain from his ankle. Wet bangs fall over his eyes when his hoodie can't protect him anymore.

He comes to a halt at a bus stop. With a built-in roof, Jungwon almost falls to his knees in relief. He sits on the bench, finally under the dry space.

Now how long is he going to spend here ?
Not a single soul is out and one look at his dead phone tells him that he will have to wait for the rain to stop.

In the meantime, he removes his beloved sweater to wring some of the water out before wearing it again to not freeze. He checks up on his ankle which he obviously strained, there is a visible cut and the zone is slowly going purple.

A loud horn buzzes in the alley and Jungwon looks up from inspecting his bruise. A black SUV has stopped on the opposite side of the route possibly waiting for something.

Oh shit.

He is about to get abducted.
Jungwon pretends to not hear, having difficulties putting his leg back down. The horns persist, insisting for something, and Jungwon considers running away despite knowing he won't go very far.

The car door opens up to the other side. A man with an umbrella comes out visibly in a hurry. It is when he makes the turn from the car that Jungwon recognizes him. Looking left and right for incoming cars, the man crosses the road.

It is no one other than Park Jongseong.

Jungwon is petrified on the spot. Jay crosses the road quickly while heavy drops beat against the firm windbreaker material of his large puffer jacket.

"Jungwon ? Hey are you ok ?"

His lips are sealed. He is out of it right now. Jongseong is here. In all his splendor looking at him with worried eyes under the torrent of rain.
Jungwon is still immobile when Jay surges towards him and grabs his hands.

"You are freezing ! Let's go."
He doesn't leave him a choice when he drags him to his car with their hands tightly intertwined. Jungwon is hypnotized by looking at them. They are wet and cold but he feels warm inside. Droplets are covering their skin before they come to a halt.

Jungwon is practically lifted into the passenger seat while he is still disconnected from reality. It's the door snap that locks him inside the car that wakes him up fully.

He watches Jay make the turn of the car before joining the driver seat in silence. He snaps his own door closed and throws Jungwon's bag in the back before looking at him with intense eyes.

"Are you perhaps suicidal ? It is almost past 10, it's raining pitchforks, a storm is coming and you think it's the moment to be outside ?"

Jungwon avoids his gaze, suddenly finding his wet fingers much more interesting. He can't believe he is currently being grounded by Jay of all people. To add, it's not like he planned all of this. Well, he knows that he should've listened to the houseworker at Lia's who advised him to take a taxi. He just thought that he could make it in time before the rainstorm.

"There's no... no need to worry I am fine."
He hears Jongseong sighs. Then the latter unzips his jacket removing it to unceremoniously cover it on top of Jungwon shoulders.

"Wear this, I will turn up the heater."

Jungwon sinks into the leather seat when the heat permeates the space. His body goes lax meanwhile Jay is starting the car. His snake tattoo is visible on his veiny arm turning the driving wheel.

Jay is obviously tense as he makes the detour on the route, a complete opposite of the direction he came from. Jungwon fiddles with his fingers, belatedly noticing that his teeth were clacking together when they finally stop. He was definitely on a steady way to hypothermia.

After a few seconds of Jay stealing him a few glances while driving in silence, Jungwon flips his hood and takes notice of the seat and ground absorbing water.

"I am sorry. For wetting your car."

He speaks hesitantly, which is completely out of character for him. Slowly regaining his voice.

"The car is the last of my worries right now Jungwon."
Jungwon knows a fire is burning under his cheeks at the instant but he doesn't know how to take in that piece of information. Especially coming from Park Jongseong in this car that Jungwon knows costs a fortune.

"How do you know my name ?"

He weakly diverts the talk and the stare that Jay sends him tells that he is also aware. In all seriousness, it's been ticking him. Jungwon can't remember a place or a moment he gave his name away to Jay.

"Asked around."

Jungwon doesn't answer quickly. Actually, he is too busy sniffing off an incoming cold and he can already feel his stuffed nose. Nice, he is about to be sick. Still, he can't fight the way his heartbeat accelerates when he learns that Jay has been asking around for his name.

"What else did you learn detective ?" He is full of comical sarcasm to lighten up the heavy atmosphere.

"Interesting things."
Jungwon shakes his head, looking outside as Jongseong is persisting on not giving him full sentenced answers. Curtly missing the way Jay looks at him. The latter admires for a second the deep dimple poking Jungwon's cheek and how adorable it looks.

"I will go take it tomorrow."
The wet head whips back at Jay. Eyes a little wide, so sparkly that it insanely resembles a cat to Jay.

"What ?"

"Your bike, left at the bus stop. You are lucky there aren't a lot of thieves around. It will still be there tomorrow."

His eyes widen a little more. Jay grins at the prospect that Jungwon totally forgot about his main mean of transport.

"Fuck."
Jay stares at him. He knows he shouldn't be taken aback that curse words are part of Jungwon's vocabulary, but considering that innocent face... He refocuses on the road.

"Why would you do that for me though ?" Jungwon asks. Quite confused.

"The tip of your nose is red, you can't stop sneezing, you were limping totally unable to walk unsupported, not even stating the obvious that you are soaked in water and your temperature is steadily rising."
His eyes stay riveted on the road and the gates of campus slowly getting closer.

"I am already aware. But why ? You are only telling me that I look pitiful."

He doesn't receive an answer and he gives up on expecting one. Jay makes the turn and gracefully parks in front of Jungwon's dorm building.

Jay unbuckles his and Jungwon's belt before deliberately leaning into his space.

"Just let me help you."

ততততত

Jungwon is embarrassed. Well to say the least, very embarrassed. He could consider himself lucky for not having any soul witnessing this scene, but it doesn't change anything to the degree of shame he feels.

"Dude you truly don't need to do this."

...

It all rewinds back to a few moments earlier when he got off the car and insisted on walking by himself with Jay carrying his duffel bag. He knows he almost tripped on the entrance stairs and pointedly ignored Jongseong when he offered his help to hold him up. But however, a guy only has limits.

The elevator is out of work, been since last week, something Jungwon totally forgot. And the stairs are on the other side of the building. Jungwon wants to scream his lungs out realizing they have to go back on their steps and walk around to the back of the huge building because the architect is a piece of shit who had the fabulous idea to make two totally opposite ways.

Jay behind him crosses his arms. A smug face looks back at Jungwon when they leave the building and stand outside.

"Can you walk that ?"

"Do I look like I can ?"
Jungwon limps and hisses whenever a faint pressure is put on his left foot. And he is practically left-dominant.

He hears a sigh behind him before hands stop on his shoulders putting him to a halt in his painful steps. Before he realizes it, those hands go lower and he gets lifted in a bridal hold.

A gasp leaves his lips before his trembling hands latch onto Jay's firm shoulders. He can sense the tip of his ears burning hot red, his weight being shaken on Jongseong's arms as if he was a grocery bag. And a brief look at the latter's face says that he is not breaking a sweat anytime soon.

"You are light."

Intrusive thoughts permeate his brain. The way it was so easy for Jay to get him off his feet and in the air, in his arms. He should not like getting manhandled this way. He shakes his head and Jay looks down at him. Still walking without disturbance to destination.

This takes him back to this situation when he says, more like whine in shame.
"Dude you truly don't need to do this."

"I actually need to. Otherwise, we will only enter your dorm room in the morning."

He gets jostled when they reach the stairs.

"The fifth floor..." Jay murmurs to himself. Jungwon peeks up to meet his stare. He may not notice, but he is nestled pretty comfortably with his head softly laying against Jongseong's chest. The raven-head may or may not feel his guts twist in the best way possible when those wet eyelashes flutter up to look at him.

"What ? Chickening out ?" A shit-eating grin paints on his cat face showing a soft dimple and Jongseong swallows.

"You are very pretentious for someone who needs assistance."
His last sentence before racking up the stairs. Jungwon's eyes go wide as he is jostled around while Jay jumps through the stairs in large strides skipping one each time. Jungwon's heart is about to fall off his chest and he makes it known by the amount of time a yelp leaves his lips because Jongseong is going like he is not holding another human being with him.

Soon enough after five floors and an uncomfortable ride, they arrive in front of Jungwon's dorm apartment.

He fiddles for his keys inside his duffel bag before reaching for the doorlock and twisting it, all still in Jay's arms who makes it easier by leaning in to facilitate access. They must look so ridiculous to anyone who'd see them right now.

Jungwon almost wants to melt when he finally enters the comfort of his home bathed yellow by the already turned-on lights. Jay closes the door with his foot, standing still in the middle of the living room.

"You can take me down." Jongseong looks down at him, breathing louder after his interromptu workout.

"What if I don't want to ?"

"I will vomit on you. You seriously have no idea how terrible that was."

Jay's eyebrows raise almost comically when Jungwon looks at him seriously.

"Sorry, forgot you had the fragile red band wrapped all over you."

Without ceremony, Jungwon is thrown on the couch abruptly, face first. The squeak that escapes him has Jongseong erupt in a fit of laughter.

"You have a weird way of handling fragile things."
He mumbles against the tissue of the sofa before turning around.

"And I am convinced that if I put you down slowly instead you would whine about being called fragile."
Jungwon doesn't know why Jay removes his jacket and hangs it (too smoothly) on the coat rack. Jungwon also doesn't know why Jay crouches down in front of him and reaches for his foot. Jungwon doesn't know why Jay unties his shoes for him and rolls his socks out.

Just let me help you.

Jungwon loves analyzing. Since he was a child he loved solving problems, but the issue was that he couldn't decipher the enigma in the heat of the moment. He always needs time, a lot of time.

In the same way, he processes his emotions, he rather waits some time before getting them out of the glass box deep down inside his brain to analyze them again and again.

Jungwon needs time to understand what exactly those words mean for him and for Jongseong. The hardest part is to find proper reasons for the why ? Jungwon has definitely not been welcoming to Jay at all. In fact, he is just the roommate of the guy Jay fucked a few weeks ago.

So, Why ?

"Yeah, that's a nasty bruise."
Jay is inspecting his sprained ankle carefully holding it. Jungwon fights the need the retract his foot-- which he thinks is odd. On a simple day, he would do it without a second thought. But he doesn't. It is mostly due to Jay being heavily focused on his well-being. And the involuntary guilt seeping through him.

Jungwon can not be more of an asshole after what Jay did for him this far.

"Nothing some good old ibuprofen and ice can't fix." Jungwon mumbles, deep down hoping his words are true.

"And where is all of that ?"

Dumbfounded Jungwon looks at him. "I can get it myself."

Jay shoots him a glare before leaving for the kitchen. He rummages behind Jungwon who can't help but peek over the couch to see what he is doing in front of the fridge.

"You should remove your wet clothes."

Jungwon doesn't like how he is being ordered around. Even though those orders make complete sense and he should've thought about it first, he gets irked a little but proceed to remove Jay's jacket first then the hoodie he was wearing underneath to leave him simply in his black shirt and trouser both glued to his skin.

Jay comes back later with the pack of frozen french fries that Jungwon bought two days ago. In silence, Jay installs his foot with the freezie to reduce the inflammation. Jungwon flinches. Silence falls into the room as Jay maneuvered the ice on his ankle without making a sound, focused on his own task. And while Jay takes care of him, Jungwon admires Jay. He has to admit it, even though he never denied the fact that Jay is strikingly gorgeous. Not the type that grows on you, but the one that gets embedded into the fibers of your brain at only one glance. The one that makes you want to look at him again with the stupid impression that he is getting more handsome the more you look at him with his boyish grin and crow black hair.

Jungwon is doomed.

"You have to dry up you know." Jongseong breaks the silence permeated with Jungwon's sniffs after a few minutes.

Jungwon's stare answers "No shit".

"Where is your roommate ?"
Jay asks nonchalantly, eyes still fixed on his task.

"Out. Clubbing." He doesn't add a 'probably" because he is utterly convinced that Minjae is currently at a party no matter which day it is.

Jay hums as an answer and carefully put back Jungwon's foot.

"You need to take a shower before wrapping it up."
Jungwon vividly agrees. His body is covered in goosebumps and he needs to switch clothes.

"Do you need help ?"

"No !" To prove his words he, carefully as ever, stands on one foot with little struggle and starts limping to the bathroom.

"I will stay, you know just in case you trip in the shower." Jungwon offers him a quick glance before disappearing into the hallway even though he wanted to argue more.

He struggles, a lot. But he makes it out without another injury and he is immensely grateful. He didn't last long under the hot water, uncomfortably visiting and revisiting the thought that Jay is out there in his place, being himself. He tried to drag it as long as possible by washing his hair and scrubbing his body twice but wasn't slow enough. Because the moment he is outside, he regrets not staying longer because having to see Jay again makes his lower abdomen twist, and not painfully.

He sneaks into his room as quickly as possible to put on his most heat-inducing clothes. He sports three layers up of long sleeves and his favorite sweatshirt with Whinny the Pooh embroidered in the middle and black sweatpants that pool at his feet. He could not care less about embarrassing himself more in front of Jay with his clothes.

He puts the hood on before slowly training his feet to the living room where he does not find Jay. The latter was too busy rumbling things in the kitchen. Jungwon tried to be quiet but his hiss when he pressed his foot too hard betrayed him. A pot is on the stove while Jay is simply standing idly looking at him with an apron written " World Best Boy" that Sunoo offered to Jungwon after winning it at the fair's games last summer that Jungwon, in fact, never wore and the piece was just left catching dust on top of the drawers.

Jay gives a toothless smile at the view of Jungwon and his cute sweater and the latter only sigh.

"Sit down."

Jay pulls the chair in front of the chicken idle and Jungwon thanks him, quick to sit. To his surprise, Jay made two ramen serving and one vegetable hot pot with the bare ingredients they had in their fridge.

The raven-head looks at him. One shoulder leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. "You need to eat." One beat pass where Jungwon glances between Jay and the food, once, twice before hushing "Thanks for the food." and diving straight without being told twice.

Jungwon doesn't know how to cook most things. He is a chef at mixing ingredients with the beauty of technology and machines. But him, himself practicing the intricate task of cooking and preparing food with meticulously picked ingredients ?  He is a novice. Even though he is the one always insisting on buying overpriced (for his student stature) vegetables -- among the other microwave dishes-- to not feel guilty about his disproportioned diet, he mostly just dices them and makes quick greens that can't fill him up.

This is exactly why he can appreciate Jay's food. Because he made it look good and taste good without much effort. And does it taste good!

Jongseong nips bits of his own plate. Jungwon looks at him inquisitively. Does he not find his own food appetizing ? Jay prefers to look at him. As if he was lost in his own thoughts analyzing Jungwon.

Jungwon reminds himself of the word "manners" and not so gracefully hunchs up from the dish he was leaning on engulfing his mouth with it. The action spurred the hint of a smile on Jay's face.

"It's really good."

"I can tell you think that."
Jungwon rolls his eyes before taking over the food again. Letting silence linger in the room, too tired to stir a conversation that would inquire about Jay's cooking skills.
When he is done there is nothing left. Jay is quite amazed. And Jungwon needs to admit that he felt shame for a second, only a second when Jay gave him his own untouched serving, that he accepted, who do you take him for ?

"Now that we filled that tummy of yours well..."
That entire time he meticulously avoided Jongseong's studious stare. But now that he has nothing to occupy him, he is forced to make a discussion.

Then he reminds himself.
Why is Jongseong here ?

"It's time to wrap up your ankle."
Jay disposes of the dishes in the sink and stands in front of Jungwon before untying his apron still on.

"Do you need help ?"

Maybe I should bask in it.

After all, it's been a while since he was looked after by someone. He can't properly remember the last time someone has taken care of him because Jungwon has always been self-efficient. So self-efficient that he easily convinced people that he is good by his own, that he can do everything by himself.

But Jay. Jay asks him again and again. He checks again and again if Jungwon changed his opinion in the middle of his choice.

Jungwon hates it. But...

"Yes."

Jay doesn't add much, he gently helps Jungwon stands up and helps him to the couch where he puts his leg up. He applies the ointment that Jungwon brought up earlier inside his mini emergency kit.

"Start the first round on the base and the second one on top of the bruise. It limits pressure."

Jay obeys without questions. A cozy silence pervades the room. Jungwon looks at the window in front, the rain has stopped. Jungwon looks at his ankle wrapped neatly, Jongseong could pass for a doctor.

He offers to Jungwon his first true smile of the night. The corners of his mouth creased and his eyes warmed up.
"You are all good now. Clean, fed, and warm."

Thanks to you.
"Thanks."

He puts everything away before standing up. Taking in a good stretch. Jungwon doesn't know what to say. He should also think about later why he is so worried about filling in the silence with Jongseong which is so out of character by him as a person.
"Well, now that you look significantly better. I guess I should take my leave."

"I guess... yeah." But he doesn't move, Jay is still standing. And for a few seconds, they let their eyes rest in each other's.  Jungwon is aware. Jay does not want to leave. But he does not want him to stay, it's enough adventure for him in a day. Letting Jay sleep over was not part of his week's bingo chart. And he is not about to cross it. Yet.

"Be safe on the road" He breaks the silence and the weird alchemy building in the room. Backwards, Jay walks away and puts on his coat previously on the hanger. He stands again, stare piercing through Jungwon as he looks for words.

"And no more rain showers. I know the rain outside may seems attractive to a home cat but make sure to do it safely next time yeah ?"

"Oh you know me so well." Jungwon knows a meek smile is drawn onto his own lips as he leans his head in his palm.

"Very well. So, I'm going." He points the door behind him still facing Jungwon.

"Bye."

"I'm opening the door." He follows his words with his actions.

"So smart" Jungwon inclines his head on top of the armrest to have a view of Jay leaving at the door, the latter not hiding his reluctance anymore.

"I will be walking out."

"Glad you know"

"I am outside now"

"Very good."

"I am closing the door."

"Good boy."

"I am fully outside in the cold now." His words are muffled by the door and Jungwon tries so hard to swallow his laughter.

"So sad."

Silence lingers behind the door and Jungwon believes Jay has left. He drapes himself of the couch throw-blanket, heart light in his chest and a giddy teenager's smile glued to his lips.

"Goodbye, Jungwon." Jongseong whispers against the wood.

ততততত

Jungwon earnestly prayed he would develop a superhuman immune system through the night to avoid catching on a viral rhinitis. But his blood cells are still limited to human capacity.

Jungwon wakes up with a merciless cold proving its presence with a headache pounding against his temples and a stuffed nose making it hard for him to breathe. Cold sweat lingers on his skin under his many articles of clothing not to mention that his skin is burning hot. He curses himself for choosing -ruining- his Saturday to timely work on his concentration in cell biology and his 1 in 7 botanical science classes.

This is hell. He thinks in the shower. By experience, he knows he should not be under water right now but his skin is too hot to not calm down. He hears footsteps and a door closing, his roommate must be back. He falls into comfortable clothes and a white beanie that let the strands of his hair peak a little under his forehead. He looks at himself in the mirror. With a heavy scarf wrapped around his neck and the lower half of his face, only his eyes are showing. He thinks he looks kinda funny with the way he is bundled up in different shades of white like a snowball. But the gust of wind he felt when he walked past the window was not a joke for him to ignore. The weather is still at its lowest with more gray tainting the sky and dancing tree branches. Outside is so sinister.

He pops two Advil or three in his mouth before going for a bowl of cold cereals. His classes start at 10 but he takes the liberty to be fifteen minutes late for good measure of his sickness.

There are two knocks at the door. He escapes from his unappealing morning meal to check on the door. He had a delivery or two but they were not supposed to arrive until the next week. The surprise at the uninvited guest lasted for maybe ten seconds due to a certain familiarity that embarrassingly developed.

"You look like a cream muffin. You know the ones they sell at Ice Fusion ? With the chocolate topping ?"

"Hello to you too Jay." Jay is dressed in black from head to toe, sporting the same puffer jacket of yesterday and the University team's sport hat of last time. A soft shadow is cast on his face but his hair being hidden shows more of his firm facial features eclipsed by his seemingly light mood that is also influencing Jungwon.

"Oh, I see we are finally at the nickname stage. Are we officially acquainted now ?"

"Hard to not be when you nursed me last night." He sounds confident but is deep down meek and extremely grateful. Gratefulness that he hopes is reflected through his relaxed eyes and easy smile.

"Then what shall I call you ? Won ? Wonnie ?"

"Jungwon will be fine. What are you doing here ?"

He rests his side against the door frame. Jongseong is holding a large black box and Jungwon can't help but be curious of their belongings.

"Oh you know I was just walking around drowning in the boredom that has been forced upon me on this chilly Saturday morning before I remembered about my patient of yesterday night, a nerdy quintessence who almost froze so-."

"You missed me."

"I couldn't word it better."

Even though he is the one who started the teasing, he can hardly hide the blush creeping on top of his cheeks. "Although I love standing on this porch while talking to you like a tenacious salesman, I am not against coming inside in the warmth."

Jungwon looks behind him, contemplating for a second. He hardly remembers sometimes what Minjae and Jay are. The fact immediately cools him down. But to be honest, he isn't doing anything wrong and it is not like he has been actively trying to hide his very,-very recent familiarity with Jay. Even though he is not that close to Minjae, he feels like it would be weird if he kept hanging out with Jay without letting the latter know just in case there is an underlying deeper situation he is not aware of. Well, this is quite the occasion.

Is he overthinking this ? Jay is only-- not even truly yet a "friend", seriously. It is not that big of a deal. Is it ?

"Sure, come in."

He closes the door behind Jay before walking him to the sofa where he deposits the box before tapping on its top calling for Jungwon's attention.

"This is for you."

His eyes widen a little as he looks at the box. Not even fooling himself as he can already predict what's inside after a few more glances but is still reticent to believe it.

"What is it ?"

"Look for yourself." Jungwon pushes over the black wrapping to reveal Timberland's tree logo. He doesn't slow down to open it because what's inside makes him gasp. He knows he should not act this surprised for many reasons. But inside the box are the latest dark gray Timberland premium 6-inch boots that he actually planned on buying for himself on Christmas.

Jay hums at his mumbling. "A connoisseur I have here. Did you know they are waterproof too ?"

"I can't accept this."

"Bet you will"

"I know the price and it is too much for you to spend on me after... I just can't take this." He puts the paper around the shoe box again to make it intact for the return.

"Oh are you telling me that little Wonie is worried about my bank account ? I will be honest with you, this spending is the furthest possible to gap a hole in my funds. I am doing it of my own free will and because I think you deserve it, your shoes were ruined yesterday." Jungwon keeps wrapping. "And c'mon you know the canalization system around campus is not the best."

"Still." He stops in his words to place the cover on top of the box. "I could afford them myself and I certainly do not need you to pity me at this point."

"It is not pity. Listen, didn't I say yesterday that I wanted to help you ?"

"And you did amply enough I thank you !" He rounds the idle to divest of his breakfast.

"Then let me help you more ?"

"You said you would help me to not get sick, not help me like I am on a trust fund with three pennies in my student account that I will spend on an expired pack of french fries."
He rolls his eyes, already feeling his blood warming up.

"In my defense, comfort is important in healthcare. And be reasonable I am not treating like you are on trust fund, this is just a gift. A gift that I think you deserve."

Jungwon stills, "How long have we known each other ?"

"Long enough for me to want to do this for you. Which is absurd I know but I really wanted to do this for you and absolutely not because I pity you or some bullshit like that. And besides, we will be matching." He raises his foot to show Jungwon his own matching pair in black. He has that shit-eating grin and Jungwon wants to smack him badly.

"I never agreed to match with you."

"Bet you will."

Jungwon rinses his bowl quickly before putting it on the rack. When he turns around Jay is only a few centimeters away. Not like he is cornered, but the latter is crowding in his personal space more than usual in the cramped kitchen.

"Take the gift. That will be your way of thanking me for everything yesterday." He says in a low voice. Almost confidentially.

"I am more of a words person."

"I can't believe you are so grateful."

"And you, so generous." He stares.

"I am not taking them back. So enjoy it."

Their eyes meet ardently, none of them backing down. But Jungwon knows he lost the last word. Jongseong is unmoving and Jungwon's defense fights to not crumble down. He walks past him away from the corner to go stand where Jay was earlier in a feeble attempt to increase the distance between them.

"I have a question though."

"Hit me." Jongseong is confident. So confident that it's oddly attractive.

"Why do you think I deserve it ?"

Jay looks himself as if he is at a loss for words and Jungwon squints like he always does when things are suspicious. Don't tell him it's cute.

"For starters, you are sick. That enough is a valid reason. Sick people get sent gifts."

"Half of the campus must be also sick, this is a common flu. Tell me, are you also going to send them all overpriced shoes ?"
He crosses his arms, ready to put a stop to this circus.

"I don't know half of the campus. But I think I know you."

"Oh wow I didn't know he is my best friend now !"

"He, can never get there with the attitude he is facing." Jay smiles, and it makes Jungwon feels like in this entire situation he is the one throwing a tantrum viewing the self-control that Jay is sporting. He lets out a defeated sigh and Jay throws his fist in the hair as a celebration.

"I sincerely hope you are not expecting anything from me Jay." He looks at him deeply in the eyes to let his words be fully understood and taken seriously.

"Hmm... maybe let me drive you to your next class ? By the way, how is your ankle ?"

"Significantly worse, it swelled but I took care of it." He looks at his ankle, and Jay mimics. He kneels to look at it closely and maybe, Jungwon's heart pace picks up. Jay inspects like he is actually the one aspiring to become a doctor. He looks quite unsure about Jungwon's words but doesn't press it to go to the hospital since Jungwon doesn't seem reticent to get dropped to class which is a good sign already.

"Your bike is downstairs but I doubt you can drive it. When is your next class ?"

"Started fifteen minutes ago." He takes his scarf on the couch to wrap around his neck again before walking to go wear his own shoes. Pointedly ignoring Jongseong when he mentions them pairing shoes again.

"You are not escaping the shoe matching like this."

He ties his seatbelt, still pointedly ignoring Jongseong.

"We are going to the School of Humanities." He looks outside.

"Now I see why you didn't whine too much. That's on the other side of campus."

"Do you want me to get out ?"

Jay finally starts the engine. Jungwon adjusts the beanie on his head before checking the time on his phone. He is now almost thirty minutes late, he hopes he still occupies that soft spot in this particular professor's heart.

"I actually have a class there next period for my minor courses."

"You are taking a minor ? What's your major ?"

"I am usually in the business building, specializing in financial analytics but I took a minor in my first year so I can't escape."

Jungwon nods.

"I know with a minor those electives must have been hell."

"First day in Precal' I got out of that class and thought about all the different ways to kill myself."

Jungwon can not hold his cackle in. His nose scrunches up trying his hardest not to laugh at his pain but it's simply hilarious to him since he relates so badly with his own pre-requisites courses.

"I thought it would be a piece of cake but God! Never wanted to drop out so badly. And my minor in project management was not letting me off easily."

"And switching was not an option I suppose." Jay takes another driving turn.

"You know family company that whole story. The path in business was traced even before I was born though I am growing to like it."

"Am I perhaps talking to the future Sam**** heir ?" Jay can hear the smile in his words.

"Sorry to disappoint the high standard you hold me at, we are in building construction and acquisitions but if it changes anything in how you view me, they are shareholders."

"Oh wow. I was just kidding."

"But you quite hit the spot."

Jungwon clears his throat looking outside as they approach. Jay and him are more similar than he thought in a way. "Don't wanna sound like a pretentious asshole but I am kinda surprised you didn't know some of these things already."

"Why ?"

"A lot of people around you know about me. And it's mostly what they talk about."

"Are you doing a popularity check on me right now ?" Jungwon turns to look at him with frowned brows.

"No, I am just hurt you did not ask about me to anyone. Not like the information was top secret."

Jay is nonchalant as he speaks but his hands tighten and release around the driving wheel.

"Has it maybe come to you that I did not care ?"

"Ouch. Did I actually sound like a pretentious asshole ?"

"Very much." Jungwon unties his seatbelt as the car comes to a stop in the building's parking.

"Don't even think about walking me out there. I can go by myself."

"Oh, Wonnie gets shy when there are people around."

"Shut up." He gets out of the car, heavy tote bag on his shoulder. He leans in the window. And maybe he feels more comfortable saying this now he is out of the car where he was confined with him and would assume the consequences of his words and Jay's possible nagging. "But hm..."

"Hm ?"

"Thanks for everything. You know the ride, the food, the shoes...you were really not obliged so... thanks a lot."

Jungwon knows he is an awkward person in a lot of situations. But this one is so insanely genuine that it's awkward in that way. He fumbles in his words a little as he clumsily stands in front of the window at eye level with Jay but still avoids his stare.

"Can you please look at me ?" It takes a little effort for him to meet eyes with Jay. The latter offers him a ravishing smile that makes butterflies beat their little wings faster in his stomach. And right now he is so glad that his scarf is hiding half of his face and the pink of his cheeks on the way.

"Trust me when I say it was my pleasure Jungwon."

"Hard to believe but I do."

"I am glad."

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