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“What do you think would be the best cologne to wear?” Sniper was standing in front of a dresser with a large mirror, looking in-between the two bottles of expensive cologne he had on hand. Today was his big day, his wedding day. The day he will finally be marrying the man he loves. It was just going to happen so very, very soon. He had his nice black suit on, paired with a white dress shirt under it and a nice sleek black tie to match. His hair was slicked back with a nice gel, done perfectly with no strands left sticking out. And he was nice and shaved, all smooth faces with thankfully no five o’clock shadow in the way.
And with him in his dressing room, was his best man. Scout. Who was already dressed up in his suit that was very similar to Snipers, but all black. He looked at Sniper's face in the mirror, then down at the cologne. “Try the parfum de montagne ensoleillée. It means sunny mountain in English, anything French is enough to make my dad happy.” He said, pointing to a clear bottle with a yellowish-orange liquid inside.
Scout felt sour. Sniper was marrying Spy, his father. Despite Sniper and Spy’s relationship, Scout never saw Sniper as his step-dad, or anything of the sorts. He always saw him as a friend, or something he wanted. Sniper? Sniper was his long lost lover, stuck in the arms of another man. A line dividing two lovers who seemed to be everlasting longing for each other. Stuck in a loop of need that they could never pursue.
“I still can’t get over that you can fluently speak French.” Sniper said, setting the second bottle of cologne down and spraying the cologne Scout suggested on certain parts of his body.
“I thought you could speak some of it too?” Scout laughed, “Didn’t Spy teach ya a lot? You’ve been with the man for years now.” He turned his head to look at the taller man beside him, noticing how perfect he looked. All dressed up, crisp and clean. A rare sight for a guy they call a bushman.
“Yeah, he did. But even then I don’t know all of it mate.” Sniper chuckled, “I can say some things, I know barely enough to get around. Ah… Bah.. Bonjour… comment alleezzz… vout.” He spoke with a bad French accent, it made Scout giggle a little. But it was charming, and warmed his heart.
“Je vais plutôt bien en fait! J'ai entendu dire que tu épousais mon père?” Scout replied in perfect French, throwing Sniper a cheeky smirk. He knew Sniper wouldn’t understand what he’s saying too well, and he doesn’t exactly see that as a bad thing.
Sniper just stared at Scout, “You never fail to amaze me.” He let out an exasperated sigh, but it was quite playful. A clear smile growing on his face. He stared at Scout, facing him. They looked into each other's eyes for a couple seconds, and it felt like an electric shock between them that zapped the tips of their noses. And as quick as their staring contest began, they both looked in opposite directions.
Scout cleared his throat, his face dusted in red like he was wearing makeup. “Thank you, Snipes..” He said, looking back up at him with a smile. But it was quite… sad. “I think that's the last time I’ll be able to hear ya say that ta me.”
Sniper’s brows raised a little as he looked back at Scout, a frown on his face. “What makes you think that’s the case, mate?” He said, his voice falling into a softer, quieter tone. One that made Scout nearly melt to the floor, remembering the days in which Sniper would be up late comforting him. When Scout was suffering with a painful injury, mentally or physically. Or the gentleness of his hands rubbing his back in a long embrace when he sobs on Sniper’s shoulder on days he messed up.
“You’re gettin’ married.” Scout said, “You’re gettin’ married to my own damn father, Snipes. I feel like if ya say that typa shit, Spy’s gonna get all upset. He already knew we had a thing for each other a while back, god knows what he’ll think if we talk to each other like that.”
It hurt to hear, but Sniper hated that he agreed. Knowing the man he was marrying was a complete piece of envious work, it’d be hard to compliment any man. Spy was obsessive and clingy. And he guesses the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, considering how Scout was just the same. But Scout knew limits, he knew when he needed to stop, or take a step back. Spy? Spy always felt sour towards the people Sniper talked to.
He felt a feeling of doom settle upon his chest when he really let it set in, the fact he would be marrying the man he really never was in love with. He knew he should’ve ran away when he had the chance, gotten in his car and bolted the hell out of there. Maybe if he was smarter, he wouldn’t have let Spy slip that pretty golden ring on his finger. And maybe if he knew better, he’d be running from this church and leaving Spy right at the altar,
And he’d be running away in his handsome suit with Scout, getting dirty in puddles sitting at bus stops in the pouring rain. But he’d be free.
“Can’t we just… run away together?” Sniper said, his voice slipping into a low whisper, stepping closer to Scout. “You know how I feel, I know what you’re thinking. We can get out of here, I don’t want to hide.”
“Sniper- Mick-” Scout frowned, looking up at Sniper with a sad look on his face, paired with his sadly furrowed eyebrows. “We- we can’t, dude . I- I want to, I do want to- but- we can’t.”
“Why not? Why can’t we? I just- I just want to get out of here. I don’t want to marry Spy I want to marry you.” Sniper said, his voice sounding broken and afraid as the truth set in. How little he really wanted to do this.
“I- Mick..” Scout opened his mouth to speak more, but then there was a knock on the door. They quickly stepped away from each other as the door opened, and Soldier popped his head through.
“Are you two ready yet?! The wedding is just about to start!” Soldier said, his voice just as rough as it always is. “Spy sent me to make sure you aren’t leaving him at the altar, Sniper!”
Sniper stood up straighter, adjusting his tie and clearing his throat. “I’m not, I wouldn’t do that to Spy. I love him.” he said, lying straight through his teeth. Scout took a glance at Sniper, but Sniper didn’t return the look. “We’ll be there, Soldier.”
~~~
Standing at the altar was supposed to be the most beautiful, happiest day of your life. The evening where the sun slowly slipped with honey soaking the clouds, gently frosting the green grass. The day where the song birds sung their happy tunes through the rustling leaves of the trees. The day two met together in love, hands entwined with rings on fingers, secured with a kiss for the end, until death do them part.
But for Sniper, it felt a nightmare.
When the feeling of impending doom swarmed over his body, preparing for a life of misery and unhappy marriage with a man he never loved. But then again he felt sick, sick for loving his soon to be husbands son over him. He wished deep inside his soul that he didn’t love Scout, that the name Jeremy never crossed his lips in a romantic sense and only stayed propped up in the platonic section of his brain. And he wished Scout felt the same about him too.
When the priest spoke, Sniper kept his eyes glued to Spy’s, who looked back with a gentle smile on his face. Spy wore a dark red suit, and a white shit under with a red tie. He didn’t wear his usual mask that most men on the team haven’t seen him without, and his graying black hair was done all nice, and he had a few patches of facial hair ready to grow in for a full beard that Spy chose not to shave. He had a strong cologne that smelt of black ice, but a small twist on it that smelt a little like a champagne. He looked great, Sniper could never lie. But he could only see Scout’s face under all the growing wrinkles of age. The similarities be the only attraction Sniper ever truly felt towards the older man.
And when he leaned in, he didn’t close his eyes when his lips gently pressed with Spy’s. His mind didn’t even focus on the kiss itself, only the clapping of the guests who attended the wedding. And when he pulled away from the kiss, he forced on a smile, and looked into Spy’s ocean blue eyes. So similar to Scouts.
And it took every bone in his body not to look over at Scout. He couldn’t, he couldn’t bare to look at him. He was afraid to see a saddened frown, a sad look wiped on his face, the misery.
But then when Spy was distracted, looking out into the crowd of celebrating people, Sniper did look back. And he saw Scout, his hands pounding together the loudest of all, and a big smile on his face, eyes full of pride and happiness for Sniper.
And they locked eyes, and Scouts smile slightly altered, and Sniper was forced to look away.
~~~
The party after the wedding ceremony was a blast, at least.
Demo arrived drunk, and he’d definitely leave drunk. But he was getting drunker on his own alcohol he brought with him, saying the champagne and red wine that Spy picked out was way too fancy to get buzzed on. Soldier was with him, making stupid toasts every second he could possibly get when he had a glass of champagne between his fingers, nearly as drunk as Demo.
Pyro was at the wedding, fully dressed in his work clothes. Spy nearly didn’t let them in, but was convinced by Sniper. Medic and Heavy were being responsible adults, and made sure Pyro didn’t start a fire while they all partied and got drunk.
It was all fun, so many friends and friends family at the wedding. It was a bright atmosphere with friends celebrating the love of two fellas. Two fellas who were never and will never be meant to be together.
And it took Sniper a second to break away from the loud conversation he had with some old friends who flew in from Australia to make his way over to the food table, where all the delicious foods were kept. Zhanna made good cookies, and Scout was currently shoving cookies down his throat like crazy. They were good chocolate chip dripped in chocolate fudge.
“Scout- or uh, Jeremy?” Sniper said, walking up next to the runner.
Scout looked over, chuckling. “Dude you just married my dad, doesn’t mean you gotta start callin me by my government name dude.” He said, chuckling a little. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his expensive tuxedo, something he knows Spy would freak out over .
“Well, it seems better that way. You should just call me Mick.” Sniper said, a small smile growing on his face. Scout absentmindedly nodded his head at what Sniper said, taking another bite of a cookie. Crumbs fell to his chest, which Sniper hesitantly brushed off of the fabric.
Scout’s face brushed with a gentle hint of pink and red, his freckles oddly brightened by the blush. “Coulda jus’ done that myself.” He said, looking at Sniper, a gentle smile on his face. But Sniper could read more than just gently happy, he could read the tiny sad frown buried under. It’s force was weak, but strong against his fake emotioned gaze.
“Yeah well, Spy woulda freaked out if he saw those crumbs on that expensive tux.” Sniper said, rolling his eyes hand chuckling.
“Spy?” Scout said, laughing a little. “You insist on calling me Jeremy, but don’t even call your own husband by his first name?” Deep inside, Scout knew exactly why Sniper didn’t. He didn’t see Spy as a companion, or a friend, none the less a husband. The ring on his finger said nothing, and the years together were spent trapped in a golden box of fake happiness.
The thing was, Sniper liked Spy at first. He thought he was an interesting man, full of mystery and secrets that filled Sniper with wonderous curiosity. But it was when Sniper got too curious, and learned to know the real man he was falling in love with. Spy was the Pandora’s box full of all the bad things in the world, and Sniper was too curious to open it.
But it was too late to leave once the box was unsealed.
And now he had a ring on his finger.
“I don’t see him as anything.” Sniper said, deciding to be honest. “He’s nothing to me, Jeremy.”
Scout’s smile fell to a frown, “Mick, you know we can’t. You’re married, if you don’t wanna be with him then just get a divorce.” He sighed, “I’m not the typa guy to fuck with a married man, none the less one that is married to my own godamn blood.”
Sniper frowned, and looked away, “I’m scared.” He mumbled. He hated showing true, deep emotions. Under all the hatred for Spy he already had buried was fear. Spy already had a temper, he was worried of what He’d do to him when they reached a level in which Sniper would give him divorce papers. But he also afraid of just the thought of spending more years with Spy. Trapped.
“Scared?” Scout said, “You coulda just left him at the altar.” He sighed, “I know it’s bad, but-”
“I don’t want to leave the altar if leaving the altar means leaving you behind!” Sniper whisper yelled, his voice grown aggressive but full of misery, eyes worried and sad. But brows furrowed angrily, his wrinkles growing larger with his gray hairs as he grows more and more afraid. It left Scout sad shocked, eyes widened slightly, and Sniper could see the intricate details of his blue irises. Just like Spy, but so much better. A light blue that faded to a navy river when it met his black void of pupils, a light reflecting blue and red of the LEDs. It calmed Sniper down, just looking into his eyes.
Scout was quiet, but quickly collected himself and frappes a glass, filling it with a bottle of champagne. “You need to learn to let me go.” He said, “Look, dude. I- I love ya too. I love ya like we’re the ones gettin’ married but.. we can’t. It’s soo late.” He sighed, taking a sip of his champagne. “I.. I wanna be with you. I do. But we can’t. You should just run away on your way.”
It was painful, Scout truly wanted to pursue a relationship with Sniper. He’s always wanted to, he’s always craved the feeling of Sniper’s hands on his body. And he wished for the feeing of rough chapped lips against his own, and the scratchy feeling of a five o’clock shadow against his face.
“Where would I even go?” Sniper said, his voice rasped against his whisper. “I can’t go to Australia, he’d know. He’d find me anywhere.”
“Scotland.” Scout shrugged, “Or.. an Asian country. Like Japan, or South Africa in Africa and Egypt.” He sighed, “Somewhere where it’d take longer to find you.”
Sniper stood in silence for a second, and soon enough Scout took a brownie from a platter and walked away, leaving Sniper to stand alone against the loud music and raging crowds of drunken idiots celebrating. Sniper felt sick to his stomach.
~~~
Fresh cool air felt nice against Sniper’s forehead, and a cigarette to his lips made his lungs cry, but his brain cheer. The wedding was seemingly almost over, and Sniper was going on his honeymoon the next morning. He sat outside in the backyard deck the banquet, on a concrete ledge overlooking a beach, which Engineer said was a good choice for a wedding. The waves were crashing against each other in an black void. It was kind as it was relaxing, but it didn’t wash away his doom.
He heard the back door open, but he didn’t look behind him. He already knew who it was.
“Mick, Spy’s been wondering where you’re at.” Scout said, “You alright?” He said, noticing the gray smoke floating up to the sky, “Smokin’ at your wedding huh.” He walked up and sat next to Spy, his legs leaned off the edge.
Sniper let out a grumble, and put his cigarette out before throwing it over the edge. “Nights almost over, I’m trying to think of a way to get out of here.” He sighed.
“Dude just jump off the edge, it’s not a far drop to the sand.” Scout said, looking at the ground. It was far enough to make you stumble, but no injuries. “You can take a loop around if you run down the beach far enough, see the rest of those buildings?” He pointed to a row of glowing buildings, a line of restaurants and shops. “Just run past those and BOOM! Freedom.”
“I guess.” Sniper sighed, rubbing his eyes. “The beach.. I remember when the whole team went before. Whole team had to convince Soldier to not strip nude. He did anyways, Miss Pauling did a lot to get him bailed out of jail…”
Scout laughed, “I remember that! Pyro was so afraid of the water, they wouldn’t even leave the parking lot.” He chuckled, “I remember that Christmas party two years ago, when Engineer did a Christmas barbecue outside.”
“Yeah, that was fond.” Sniper chuckled, “I remember catching you eating the deviled eggs in the fridge. Thought you hated deviled eggs.”
“It’s embarrassing to like deviled eggs.” Scout rolled his eyes, sighing. “…I remember catching you under the mistletoe after that.” He giggled, “Then we…”
“Kissed.” They said in sync, which caused them to look at each other. Right in the eyes, in silence.
“You were dating Spy at the time, you said you didn’t care..” Scout said, their bodies inching ever so slightly closer to each other.
Quietly.
“You still kissed me anyways.. you said you didn’t care much either.” Sniper said, his eyes locked on Scout’s. The atomosphere growing darker around them, and it felt like they were glowing.
“It’s because we both didn’t care at all.” Scout said, “Now I keep sayin’ we shouldn’t.. when.. we should-”
Scout couldn’t say another word before he was pulled into a swift kiss, lips met beautifully and clung together with force. Scout didn’t fight, instead he warmed into the kissed, his lips melting like chocolate against Snipers.
And as fast as the kiss began, it ended.
They were both panting as if it lasted forever, mouths slightly agape and hands gripping fabric of black tuxedo fabric till the knuckles turned white.
Sniper gulped, letting go of Jeremy’s shoulders. He looked at him, “I know you want to run away with me.” He said.
“No, Sniper we-”
“NO no, Scout we need to get out of here together I am NOT leaving without you!” Sniper said, trying to control his volume. But inside the building was so loud, nobody heard the affair.
Scout was silent, “I-I-” he gulped, his words stuck in the back of his throat.
“Please.” Sniper said, his words desperate as he placed his hands back on Scout’s shoulders. “I need you with me. I always need you.”
Scout looked into Sniper’s eyes, searching but only finding grief and desperation. So Scout let himself go, he knew he needed to go with Sniper. As if it was meant to be.
“Okay.” Scout said gently, “Okay, okay. Let’s go.” He said, his voice quiet. But his face soon built with determination, and a look of excitement.
Finally, all Scout needed to run away with Sniper was a kiss.
A smile grew wide on Sniper’s face. And for a second they sat still, turning their heads to look at the building behind them. They heard the muffled beat of the loud music blaring inside, and the flashing lights through the frosted glass windows. And after that, they took the leap.
And not just in a literal sense, where they leap off the ledge and run down the sand- nearly tripping on their way back with a sharp pain in their ankles for a second. But in a way that says…
They’re both finally brave enough to take their last step foward, to leave this messed up place behind.
They finally took the leap.