Work Text:
“Hey, Jackson. It’s April again. Finally got some decent reception. I should be home by this weekend. Um. Arizona told me that she’s going to pick me up from the airport and that I can stay with her, but, if you’re okay with me staying at the house, I… Sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying. I love you. Please call me back. Bye.”
Saturday. 5:38 PM.
“I think you should go to the party,” Ben blurted as soon as he caught sight of him in the hallway. “She’s still your wife.”
Apparently, Bailey had been talking to Ben, and, apparently, she knew that he was not going to attend April’s ‘welcome home’ party.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
He didn’t want to go home, especially when it’d be to an empty house, but he didn’t want to look at April right now. Jackson had given her an ultimatum, one he regretted by this point, but she’d still chosen not to be with him. Sure, she was still his wife, but he didn’t see any future with her.
“C’mon. Try to understand. She lost a child.”
Jackson’s back stiffened, and his voice was cold when he replied, “Yeah, I did too.”
Ben’s eyes flashed with guilt, but Jackson was already walking away to his car. His shift was over. Almost everyone they knew was going to be at the party. She’d be fine.
She probably didn’t want to see him, either.
Sunday. 2:24 AM.
His hands shook as he replayed the voicemail. It was the only thing he seemed to be capable of doing.
Hey, Jackson. It’s April again.
Saturday. 6:00 PM.
Jackson had memorized both the menu and phone number of the Chinese restaurant near his apartment since April had gone off to Jordan. He called in an order as soon as he got into his car, briefly considering stopping by the liquor store on the way home before deciding against it. If he got drunk, he might be tempted to call April.
He wasn’t going to talk to April.
He wasn’t.
Sunday. 5:00 AM.
He didn’t think he’d be able to get to sleep. Even though the bed had felt empty for months, he didn’t think he could fathom laying in it with the knowledge that he would always feel alone when he slept in it.
Saturday. 6:24 PM.
The party would be in about an hour. Arizona was going to get her from the airport. He wasn’t sure if April knew about the party. A bunch of people had brought it up to him, but he hadn’t been the one to plan it. Jackson almost wished she’d be there a little longer, if only so he didn’t have to face reality.
But, no, he didn’t really want that. He wanted her home. He wanted her with him, where she was safe.
Sunday. 7:24 AM.
He called off work, and he was finally able to get to sleep after taking a few Benadryl, aware that he was probably going to have to ask one of his colleagues for a script for a sleeping pill sometime later in the week.
Saturday. 8:19 PM.
Even though he had made no attempt to call her back, he wondered why she hadn’t called yet, as her flight would’ve already landed by now.
Sunday. Morning time.
He dreamed that he was following her. That, no matter how close he got, she was still a few paces ahead of him.
Just out of reach.
Saturday. 9:42 PM.
He waited for the phone to ring.
Sunday. 10:28 PM.
He woke up screaming.
Saturday. 10:35 PM.
He hadn’t gone to the liquor store earlier, so he settled for a bottle of moscato that April had bought before she’d gotten pregnant and had never drank.
Sunday. 11:47 AM.
His mom tried calling a few times. She would probably show up any minute now.
Saturday. 10:45 PM.
He called her phone. No answer.
Sunday. 12:32 PM.
He started crying, and he couldn’t stop.
Saturday. 11:05 PM.
Unable to drive, he called for a cab.
Sunday. 1:26 PM.
Somebody else called her parents. Jackson wasn’t sure who. He was probably an asshole for avoiding his mother-in-law’s phone calls, but he didn’t think he could handle talking to her.
Saturday. 11:26 PM.
He knew it was a little inappropriate to knock on somebody’s door this late, but it was possible April was still up. Who knew how fucked up her schedule was with the time zone changes? Besides, he was pretty sure Arizona was already irritated with him, anyway, for not showing up to April’s party. What was a little more irritation?
Jackson probably could have been a little less frantic with his knocks, though.
Eventually, Arizona opened the door. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. So, he’d probably woken her up. He couldn’t find himself to be guilty.
“Where is she?” Jackson blurted, looking around Arizona’s place like he could find her. “I just… I need to talk to her.”
Monday. 5:25 AM.
He called in again on Monday.
Saturday. 11:30 PM.
“Oh, God. No one… no one told you?”
“Told me what?”
Arizona looked around, like she could find the answer somewhere around her house.
“Told me what, Arizona?”
Two years prior.
She was asleep in his arms, her hand on his chest. Her wedding ring glinted on her finger.
Saturday. 11:31 PM.
“You should sit down for this.”
“She decided to stay in Jordan,” Jackson deduced. “Jesus, what is wrong with—”
“April never showed up to the airport,” Arizona interrupted. “So we tried getting ahold of her.”
One year prior.
“I have to do this,” April said. “I have to. Please just. Please understand. Please support me.”
Saturday. 11:31 PM.
“We couldn’t ever get ahold of her, but we got… We got ahold of one of her colleagues. Dr. Nathan Riggs.”
Jackson wasn’t sure where she was going with this.
He refused to believe the thought that was beginning to formulate in his head.
Wednesday. 3:45 PM.
Her service was planned by her family. They all came to Seattle, and a bunch of people he didn’t know talked about her at her reception. Came by to give him words of advice that washed right over his unmoving body.
Saturday. 11:32 PM.
“They did everything they could, but there was just… there was no way to bring her back after—”
Her voice was coming from far underwater, warbled and unclear and like static in his mind.
Six months prior.
“Stay home this time,” Jackson pleaded against her skin, mouth against her bare shoulder. He pulled the covers more tightly around them. “Just… stay home. For me. I need you here.”
“Jackson—”
“April, please.”
Saturday. 11:35 PM.
“So she’s dead,” Jackson said, and the whispered words were like poison against his tongue. “April is dead. My wife is dead.”
Arizona only started crying, and he was pretty sure he started crying, too. But everything he felt detached, as if he was watching somebody else experience all of the feelings crashing through him.
April was dead.
“Hey, Jackson. It’s April again. Finally got some decent reception. I should be home by this weekend. Um. Arizona told me that she’s going to pick me up from the airport and that I can stay with her, but, if you’re okay with me staying at the house, I… Sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying. I love you. Please call me back. Bye.”