Work Text:
Ushijima bends down to pick up his runners from the bottom shelf of your shoe rack. It's his old pair -- they're still very usable, but he didn't want to buy two new pairs he'd have to break in at the same time and since he needed a pair for your apartment as well, he'd just brought the old ones here. It's barely past 6AM on a sunday, but he plans to take the longer route today, seeing as it is his day off. When he comes back, he's planning to prepare his protein pancakes for you, just to prove that they are able to taste sweet and good even if they're made with protein powder.
Plus, you're always complaining you're not strong enough to carry something whenever you're together. He doesn't mind carrying it for you, loves doing so, if he's being honest, but when it seems to be such a repeated issue, he decided he might help you in any way he's able (oh, how he's misunderstanding).
His run is refreshing. He mapped out a route in your area the first time he slept over. Both a long one for his days off and a shorter one before he has to go to the stadium. He passes by the bakery in a breeze and doesn't even notice his coach, Suzaku, in the window, eating a pastry - or the way that he guiltily chokes on a bite when he spots Ushijima.
By a traffic light, he reaches for his waterbottle in the small utilitybelt you'd given him for christmas. A small bottle made with the belt makes him able to bring water with him without holding it in his grasp. When you'd prompted him about why he didn't bring water on his runs, he had to admit that he subconsciously squeezed the bottles so hard they broke and that it wasn't practical.
He loves the way you listen to him, make mental notes of the small things and laugh at his jokes (not even Tendou laughed much at the same jokes back in high school, informed him that they hardly qualified as jokes). The added bonus of your gorgeous smile and beautiful laugh makes his heart squeeze too. Your jokes are infinitely better than his though, and nothing brings him greater joy than to sit you on the kitchen counter as he does the dishes next to you as you tell him about your day or recent work drama.
When he returns, he only mumbles out a small "I'm back" more from habit than to actually announce his arrival to you. He takes out his AirPods as he toes off his shoes, breaths still coming in puffs.
He hears your voice in hushed tones, but he can't discern the words from here, so he calls out to you as he walks towards your bedroom.
"Y-yeah, I'll say hi from you. He's here now."
You're still in bed, back turned to him and your phone by your ear as you end the call you were in. He wants to butt in and tell you to continue talking and that he'll just make breakfast but there's a tilt to your voice that he doesn't recognize. His stomach twists as he stands in the doorway, waiting.
You hang up and put your phone down. For a few beats all is silent before you inhale a sharp and deep breath, straightening your spine.
"Welcome back, 'Toshi!"
It seems you're willing your voice back to a familiar tone and rythm, but Ushijima's gut is telling him that it's a facade. He doesn't like that.
You throw the blanket away from you and sit up and Ushijima moves to your side of the bed, sitting next to you, all close and personal and so, so sudden.
You're not prepared for that action, so you hadn't come around to wipe the tears from your face.
You scratch at your eye in an effort to play it off, "Those damn allergies...."
Ushijima's mouth tightens to a thin line but he's not sure what to do, what to say.
You shake your head as you let out a perfomative sigh, clapping your eyes together, "so! What's the plan today?"
"What's wrong?"
You freeze.
You really like Ushijima. He's become a really important person in your life, even if your love is still new and in bloom. It's too early to say you love him out loud and it's definitely too early to show him this self-loathing, semi-depressive side of yourself... right?
Gently and very slowly, like he's handling a scared and feral animal, he takes your hand in his. It's not until he coos at you and starts making comforting circles into your wrist that you realize you've started crying again. Shit.
You heave in a breath and strain your eyes to stop the tears, willing them back with every fiber of your being, a tense laugh escaping you followed by a string of apologies.
"You don't have to hide your tears from me."
You look suddenly at him, like a deer caught in the headlights. You then apologize again as you lean your head to his shoulder, "it's just... you're so strong, 'Toshi, I don't want... to accidentally scare you away."
There's silence for a while, Ushijima's gears turning in his head. He's unsure which part of him you refer to as strong, unsure if it's supposed to be such a vague compliment. He then hums as he decides to make one thing clear for you, "it's not weak to cry. I want to be in your life - in every part of it, too. Just like I carry the groceries and the heavy furniture you keep finding off of Marketplace listings, I want to help carry the emotional burden, too."
You huff out a laugh at his jab on your impulse buys. You raise your head to his neck to breathe in his scent. There's still a hint of sweat on him and he definitely smells like he needs a shower, but you smile.
"I love you."