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Sunwoo was having such a good day before he got the news. He woke up in a good mood, interacted with his members happily, and was even enjoying dance practice before they sat down to discuss their next performance for Road to Kingdom. The members wanted to make it their best performance yet, they were here to win this competition after all. They decided to perform Reveal, their most popular song to date. Of course, they were going to rearrange it and change the choreo to fit the image of the the competition. But, if they wanted to win, they needed to go above and beyond their normal abilities; they needed to do something they had never done in any of their performances before. When their main choreographer suggested the idea of doing their own ladder stunt in the bridge of the song, no one seemed to oppose, in fact they all seemed excited. They all mulled over who would perform the stunt, Sunwoo’s nerves rising as he fell silent.
“How about Sunwoo and Hyunjae?” Q questioned lightly as everyone looked at the two sitting next to each other.
“Sure, I don’t mind. What about you, Sunwoo?” Hyunjae smiled easily as Sunwoo’s anxiety rose to his lungs.
“Um…yeah. Sure, why not?” He said automatically with the tiniest smile on his face.
“Great! Let’s start with changing the choreo first and then focus on the stunt!” Their choreographer said excitedly.
Sunwoo’s smiled wavered before falling completely as he clenched his fist tightly. He inhaled and exhaled through his mouth before joining the rest of his group in their stretches.
He couldn’t focus during the rest of their practice, mind too busy hyperfixating on the stunt he agreed to for lord know’s why. He had never told any of his members about his fear of heights, most of their relationships were grounded in teasing each other so he figured they would tease him relentlessly about it whenever they got the chance, which he was not ready for in any circumstance. He figured he would really never have to confront his fear as an idol anyway–– there weren’t many instances where they’d go somewhere high off the ground outside of their idol schedules after all.
But, I guess there’s no time like the present. Sunwoo wanted to cry and run out of the practice room. But, he couldn’t, so he somehow made it through dance practice with the others and returned back home in the late hours of the night.
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Sunwoo somehow made it through the rest of their dance practices for Kingdom and nailed the alternated choreography down without much fanfare. But then it came, the day before their performance where they were going to nail down the stunt. They went through their alternative choreography for the performance multiple times before the time came before they practiced the stunt.
“Okay, everyone! We’re going to practice the stunt now so I need everyone except Hyunjae, Sunwoo, and the backup dancers to move out of the way!” Their choreographer called out as everyone moved to the sides of the practice hall.
Sunwoo inhaled and exhaled through his mouth as he mentally prepared himself. His anxiety grew as the choreographer explained their moves step-by-step. Sunwoo nodded silently as he tried to conceal his nervous expression. The music started as he walked to his position on the ladder structure before grabbing the rope tied to it. His chest rose and fell softly as he clutched the rope with his right hand as tight as he could. Finally, the part came and Sunwoo forcefully shut his eyes as his hands started to sweat profusely and tears welled up in his eyes. He finally opened his eyes as his part came on and immediately looked to the ground. His hand faltered against the rope before gripping int tighter. His breath caught in his throat before the structure was lowered back to the ground. He quickly let go of the rope as his breathing became shallow and he ran out of the room.
He quickly looked around the building before finding the men’s bathroom and locking himself in the biggest stall. His breathing quickened as it became shallowed and his chest rose alarmingly fast. Tears welled up in his eyes and poured down his face as he curled into himself, his trembling becoming quite evident in that position. He tried calming his breathing as his ears started ringing, realizing he was having a panic attack. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried his breathing techniques he learned over the years. They only served to worsen his attack though, realizing it wasn’t working like it usually did Sunwoo thought he was going to die.
Suddenly, someone grabbed his hand and pressed it against their chest which caused Sunwoo to open his eyes. It was his Hyunjae-hyung looking at him with worried eyes.
“...Woo? Sunwoo, can you hear me?”
Tears slipped out of Sunwoo’s eyes as he looked at his hyung shakily. He nodded, ever so slightly.
“Okay, good. Do you feel your hand against my chest? I want you to copy my movements.” Hyunjae inhaled an exaggerated breath so Sunwoo could copy him. Sunwoo inhaled carefully as the tears in his eyes diminished. Sunwoo followed his hyung’s breathing patterns for the next couple of minutes before he fully calmed down and the buzzing on his skin fully settled. His breathing evened out as his tensed body relaxed greatly.
“Thank you, hyung,” He whispered lightly as he looked down to the ground. He felt arms envelop him in a warm hug as he melted into them.
“Of course Sunwoo. Do you want to talk about it?”
Sunwoo sighed. “I just…my anxiety has been really bad today. I’m sorry for not telling anyone.”
Hyunjae moved next to the younger and let the younger curl into his side as he put his arm around him.
“That’s okay. I know it’s hard reaching out to people. But just know we’ll always be here for you, Sunwoo.”
“Thanks, hyung. I appreciate that. I’ll try to remember that for the future.”
“Yeah. Come on, let’s go home.” Hyunjae smiled hopefully at the younger. Sunwoo smiled back and nodded silently, standing up from the floor with his hyung. He yawned exhaustedly, he was always mentally exhausted after a panic attack, and it sometimes carried over into physical exhaustion.
When they got home, Sunwoo skipped dinner in favor of going to his room to sleep early. He could only hope he would be able to get some sleep that night, instead of his anxiety keeping him up like it had done for the past week. But when did he ever get what he wanted? So, he laid in bed staring at his ceiling as the night grew darker. He could hear his groupmates faintly talking outside, and turned to his side and closed his eyes when he heard footsteps approach his door. The door clicked open as the figure walked closer to Sunwoo’s bed. Sunwoo’s anxiety spiked as he shut his eyes tighter, his heart beating in anticipation.
“I promise I’ll always be here for you, Sunwoo.” He heard his Hyunjae-hyung say softly before scooting next to Sunwoo in his bed. Sunwoo’s body fully relaxed as his heartbeat returned to normal. He felt his hyung’s warmth curl around his back as he smiled lightly. He soon drifted off to sleep peacefully with a small smile on his lips.
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There he was, standing on the ladder structure and holding onto the rope looking as awesome as he imagined himself. He sang his part perfectly, rapping quickly as he nailed his part down perfectly. When he was done, he looked to the ground of the stage as it fell away. He gasped before letting go of the rope and falling to the floor. He screamed as he sank away into nothingness.
Sunwoo woke up with the most horrible feeling of dread in his chest and sweat adorning his face. He opened his eyes to see his Hyunjae-hyung still peacefully sleeping, with the most adorable look on his face Sunwoo might add. He was so fond of the older in these moments, he had no doubt his hyung would always be there for him no matter the circumstance. He smiled silently as he carefully got up from his spot on the bed. He squinted as he tried to read the time on his alarm clock. 4:57am. They were shooting their performance in 11 hours. Sunwoo sighed as he laid back down in his bed softly next to Hyunjae. He curled into the older’s warmth before drifting back off to sleep again.
When Sunwoo woke back up, Hyunjae was gone from his bed. He could hear frantic footsteps outside of his room as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He turned to his right to see that even his roommate, Eric was awake and scrolling through his phone. He stood up in his bed as he yawned loudly.
He went through the motions of his regular morning routine as his mind sunk into the depths of his thoughts. His anxiety was in full overdrive, but at the same time he was so physically and mentally exhausted he didn’t care anymore.
He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt secure arms wrap around his chest. He turned his head to see his Hyunjae-hyung hugging him from behind. He blinked before drying his eyes of the tears gracing them.
“It’s okay, Sunwoo. If you need anything today, come straight to me, okay?”
“Okay, hyung.” Sunwoo whispered emotionally.
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30 minutes until their performance. Why did Sunwoo think he could do this? He bit his nails, an anxious tic he had. His mouth trembled slightly before he pressed his lips together in an effort to mask his true feelings. Sunwoo felt an anxiety attack coming on as he looked down at his trembling fingers.
He noticed his Hyunjae-hyung walk up to him before whispering, “Are you okay?” Sunwoo averted his eyes as they teared up and quickly paced out of the room. His breathing picked up as he tried to find a private spot to have his anxiety attack. He soon found one behind a curtain where he quickly hugged his knees to his chest and breathed quickly as he stared at the ground wide-eyed.
“I can’t…I can’t ruin my makeup. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.” He whispered lightly as more tears welled up in his eyes.
He repeated the mantra in his mind as his vision blurred from the buildup of tears in his eyes.
“Sunwoo? Sunwoo-yah, where are you?” He heard a voice lightly say with concern laced in the tone.
Sunwoo held his hand over his mouth as he closed his eyes tightly.
‘No…no one can see you. No one. No one at all. Don’t show weakness. Stay quiet. Don’t cry.’ He thought as his body started shaking.
He cried silently into his hand as he curled into himself. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter as he tried to stifle them.
Suddenly, he felt a soft hand pulling his hand away from his mouth and opened his eyes suddenly. There was his Hyunjae-hyung, in all of his lovable glory donning the most heartbroken expression ever.
“It’s okay, Sunwoo. Look at me, you’re okay. You’re safe. Hyung is here now, it’s okay, Sunwoo.” He whispered as he brought the younger into his chest. Sunwoo’s eyes only welled up with more tears as he closed them and snuggled into his hyung’s chest.
“H–H–H–Hyung.” He whispered against the older’s chest.
“Mmm, I’m here Sunwoo.”
“Hyung, I–I’m so s–scared.”
“What are you scared of, baby?”
“T–T–The stunt.” He admitted embarrassingly.
“Of messing it up?”
“N–No hyung. It’s…” The younger hesitated before continuing. “I’m scared of falling. I have a fear of heights.”
Hyunjae’s arms tightened around Sunwoo.
“I see, baby. That’s okay. I understand why you’re scared; it’s a scary thing. But, you wanna know something?”
Sunwoo looked up at his hyung questioningly as Hyunjae smiled softly.
“It’s only for a second. And…I wouldn’t be saying this if it were anyone else, but I know you can pull this off. You’re amazing at these sorts of things, Sunwoo-yah.”
Sunwoo smiled lightly. “Yeah…I am pretty special like that, huh?” He laughed lightly. Hyunjae laughed beside him as he lit up.
“There’s my little snarky raccoon boy. You back with us now?”
Sunwoo nodded as he smiled warmly and visibly calmed down. “Thanks, hyung. Let’s do this.”
Hyunjae smiled hopefully before helping the younger up from the ground. “You’re gonna kill it, don’t worry.”
Sunwoo smiled and nodded. They soon arrived back to their waiting room where there were some makeup artists touching up the other member’s makeup.
“Oh, perfect. They said 10 minutes till our performance.” Sangyeon smiled at the two. They both nodded simultaneously before Sunwoo went to a makeup artist to fix up his makeup once more.
FInally, a stagehand called The Boyz to the backstage as the other group was finishing their performance. Sunwoo lightly shook his hands at his side before breathing in and out slowly. His nerves had significantly calmed down since his Hyunjae-hyung helped him through his anxiety attack. He decided to take the performance one step at a time, worry about his regular parts first and then worry about the stunt when the time came.
Finally, it was time for The Boyz to start their performance. They all huddled up before Sangyeon said, “Okay, guys. We got this, let’s go! Best We The Boyz!” Everyone simultaneously said before going to their position. Sunwoo looked once more at his Hyunjae-hyung before the other turned to him and nodded with a small smile on his face. He whispered into Sunwoo’s ear, “During the stunt look at me first before your part.” Sunwoo smiled and nodded back. They both ran to their beginning positions.
The performance was going extremely well, everyone nailing their solo and group dancing and singing parts. Finally, the time came for the stunt. Sunwoo got on his position on the ladder structure before gripping onto the rope tightly. Hyunjae was still doing his part, running to his ladder stucture before Sunwoo looked at the older. Once Hyunjae finished his part, he looked directly at Sunwoo and smiled confidently and winked. Sunwoo smiled back before turning to the camera and singing his part confidently and executing the hand choreography he had perfectly.
Before he knew it, the ladder structure was being lowered once more and he was running to join his members in their group choreography. They all executed the sharp moves in perfect synchronization while some other members were singing their parts as well. Sunwoo focused on his dancing until the music stopped. They all stood there for a moment before the cameras cut and they were ushered backstage. They all high-fived each other once backstage as they relished in their successful performance.
“Great job guys!! I’m so proud of you all, I’m going to treat you to pizza tonight!” Their manager exclaimed, beaming at the twelve boys. They all cheered as they headed back to their waiting room.
Sunwoo and Hyunjae stayed at the back of the group, turning to each other before they entered the room. Sunwoo smiled widely at his hyung before clinging onto him and hugging his waist tightly.
“We did it, hyung!”
“Yeah. You were amazing Sunwoo-yah, you did perfect.” Hyunjae smiled widely at the younger.
Sunwoo smiled shyly, “Thanks hyung. For everything, i really appreciate it.”
“Of course, Sunwoo-yah. I’m really proud of you.”
Sunwoo smiled before hugging the older once more.
After their shooting for Road to Kingdom was done, they all clammered into two vans that would drive them to a nearby pizza place. Sunwoo sat next to Hyunjae in the very back seat next to the window and put his head on the older’s shoulder silently. They both smiled silently, before Sunwoo drifted off to sleep silently. Hyunjae grabbed his hand lightly, not wanting to wake the younger up, and rubbed his thumb on Sunwoo’s fingers lightly. They both knew at that moment that things would turn out okay as long as they stood by each other’s side.
Fin