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Fade exits the doors from the training room, the screen hanging above it glowing red while reading “30/30 FADE”. She doesn’t bother to turn to read it, she knows what it says, after all it’s the same every time.
Fade walks up to her locker, securing the specter she had been using for the past hour or so of training. She then reaches up to the top shelf to grab her mostly empty water bottle, along with the small hand towel she keeps up there. She quickly downs the last few drinks of water, tossing the empty bottle back on the shelf to refill and use later and then closes the locker with her hips as she turns to leave.
The only other person currently making use of their training area is Raze, who is sitting off to the side working on her boom bot. Fade nods to her as she leaves. Raze nods back to the other agent, not saying anything as she bobs her head to whatever it is she is listening to on her headphones.
As Fade leaves the training room she runs her towel across her sweaty forehead and then drapes it along the back of her neck. She had learned pretty early on that aim training was no joke and tended to get her sweating even after just a short session. After the second time of using the shitty disposable towels in the training room bathroom to clean herself up she got in the habit of bringing a real towel from her room with her.
Fade begins to make the long walk back to her room when she comes to the hall intersection that leads to the protocol's common room. Normally she wouldn’t even think twice as she passes it, but she slows her walk when she realizes she faintly hears the sound of someone crying.
Scratch that, the sound of someone sobbing.
The Fade that first joined the protocol wouldn’t have even flinched hearing the noise. She would have ignored the sound and kept walking straight ahead, not really caring to find out who was crying let alone why. However in these past few months Fade had really started to open up to her fellow agents. She had even befriended a few. She had become even closer with one, though that’s not something they really shared with the others.
All this is to say that Fade’s curiosity got the better of her.
She turns to make her way toward the common room. As she approaches the crying continues and she can hear a few other voices in the room talking in concerned voices.
When Fade reaches the doorway she pauses as she peaks in.
There on the couch is Neon, hands covering her face while she is curled in on herself, shoulders shaking as she cries. Sage is sitting next to her with her hand on Neon’s knee. Jett sits on Neon's other side trying to get Neon to look at her, but Neon just keeps crying.
Fade can’t make out what it is Sage is now practically whispering to Neon. Though she doubts she would have processed her words even if she could fully hear her. Instead she stares at Neon, face softening as her heart begins to ache at seeing the younger woman cry so intensely.
Fade’s appearance doesn’t go unnoticed, Jett glances up seeing her approach the door. The wind radiant frowns at her.
“This isn’t the best time. Do you think you could give us some space, Fade?” Jett asks, a touch bitterly. Clearly Fade hadn’t yet made nice with ALL the other Valorant agents yet.
At hearing Fade’s name being spoken, Neon snaps her head up, looking in her direction.
If Fade’s heart hadn’t already been breaking at the sight of Neon, it sure was shattered now after getting a good look at her face. Neon’s eyes were red, something Fade could see clearly even from across the room. Her face was visibly wet from the tears that were still rolling down her cheeks.
Jett and Sage had both slightly jumped at Neon’s sudden emergence from hiding between her own hands.
“Hey it’s okay,” Jett says softly to Neon, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Fade was just leaving, right Fa-”
Jett is cut off from another sudden movement from the crying girl beside her, as Neon reaches both hands out to Fade in a “come here” gesture.
This gesture from Neon is the straw that breaks Fade’s normal uninterested façade as her face heats up and the pieces of her heart are ground up into a fine powder. Fade enters the common room fully now, quickly walking to the couch the others were gathered on. She ignores the incredulous stares being directed at her from Jett and Sage, instead she kneels down in front of Neon. Before Fade is even able to open her mouth to ask what’s going on, Neon has leaned forward wrapping her arms tightly around her neck.
Slightly surprised by the less-than-subtle display she knows they are putting on in front of the others, Fade hesitates. It doesn’t take more than a heartbeat or two before she decides that that doesn’t matter right now, Fade brings her arms up to wrap around Neon’s waist.
Feeling the older agent embrace her back, Neon lets out another sob and buries her head in the crook of her neck.
By now Fade’s face is bright red, both from the nerves of the eyes she can feel on them as well as the emotions she is feeling from seeing Neon like this. She slowly rubs circles on Neon’s back as she feels her tremble in her arms.
“Shhhhhh, it’s alright, tatlım. I’m going to carry you back to your room, alright?” Fade mutters quietly against Neon’s ear. She hopes their two onlookers can’t hear the quiet words, both for the sake of not being found out and also since she wishes to keep moments like this solely between her and Neon.
Fade feels Neon nod her head against her neck more than she sees it. At this she pulls Neon to the edge of the couch before moving her left arm to hold under her legs. Fade rises from her kneel, bringing Neon up with her. Once she is standing, Neon brings up her legs to wrap around Fade’s hips.
Fade is glad when she turns away from the prying eyes she knows are still trained on her. Though by now her focus is fully on Neon, who is still shaking though her cries have quieted into sniffles rather than the previous wails.
As Fade walks her toward the exit, Killjoy emerges from the kitchen that is connected to the common room.
“I’ve got a water for- oh, Fade! Uhm, what are you-?” Killjoy trails off as Fade silently plucks the water bottle from Killjoy's hand as she walks past her.
The three women stare in stunned silence as Fade carries Neon out of the common room without a glance behind her. Killjoy turns to look at Jett and Sage, who are still sitting on the couch, the space Neon had just occupied empty between them.
“....What the hell was that?”
~
Fade slides the acquired water bottle into the pocket of her jacket so that she can return her right hand to Neon’s back, where she rubs her thumb comfortingly against her spine. When Fade feels Neon’s arm squeeze her she turns her head and places a gentle kiss against her neck. Normally Fade would be against any forms of PDA in the public spaces of the protocol due to Cyphers cameras covering every inch of them, but she figures that she long since passed her normal line of comfort by this point. If people were going to ask her about this (which she knew that they would) the small movement wouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But, it does bring comfort to Neon, which at this moment is the only thing she cares about.
Arriving at Neon’s room, Fade stares at the handprint scanner on the wall next to it. Right, all the doors to the rooms were scanners for safety reasons and she couldn’t scan herself in on Neon’s door without emergency clearance.
She peeks at the woman still in her arms, but is unable to see her face. Fade doesn’t want to ask anything of Neon while she is in such a fragile state, even if it’s just to have her put her own hand on the scanner.
Biting her lip, she instead decides to not overthink things. Not allowing herself to dwell on the thoughts screaming at her not to in her head, she turns to continue farther down the hall of dorm rooms.
When Fade reaches her own room, she adjusts Neon so that she is being supported by her right arm, bringing the left up to the wall scanner. The door slides open with a creak as Fade steps inside.
She flips the lightswitch twice quickly, causing the overhead light to turn on night-light mode, allowing her to see but not so bright she risks hurting Neon’s eyes. Fade carries Neon to her bed, gently setting the younger agent on the edge of it. Fade kneels in front of her once again, bringing her arms up to hug her tightly.
They stay like this for a while, Neon clutching onto Fade like she might leave while Fade murmurs reassurances and occasionally runs her hand through her hair. After some time has passed Neon stops trembling and her arms loosen, though she doesn’t let go. Fade pulls her head back just enough for her to be able to place a gentle kiss against her girlfriend’s cheek.
“What happened, sevgilim? Can you tell me?” Fade asks quietly.
Neon tenses slightly in her arms, and Fade goes back to soothingly rubbing her back. She doesn’t push the other for an answer, instead she just continues to comfort her physically. After a couple more minutes, Neon tries to speak though her throat is so dry from crying that she cringes at the sting she feels..
Feeling this, Fade pulls back from Neon. Neon whines to protest but is glad when Fade doesn’t stand to leave and instead pulls the water she had snagged from Killjoy from her jacket pocket. Fade cracks open the lid of the bottle and hands the open water out to Neon.
“Drink some, please?”
Neon’s eyes soften looking at her girlfriend’s concerned look so she takes the water and drinks a few sips. While Neon drinks, Fade rests her hands on her legs, rubbing her thumbs up and down on them.
After a few drinks Neon brings the bottle away from her lips and tries to speak again, though her voice comes out so quiet Fade wouldn’t have heard what she said had she not been right in front of her.
“I fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie with Jett and… and I had the nightmare again.”
Fade flinches slightly at the mention of the nightmare that had been following Neon around for a while now. Neon hadn’t told her everything that happens in it, she always said it was too difficult to talk about, which Fade of all people of course understood. What she did know about this nightmare though was that it involved Neon’s family back in Manila… and it had Fade in it as well. Neon had never specified Fade’s role in this nightmare, instead she would ask to change the topic or for Fade to distract her with something else. Fade always would, though she had grown increasingly concerned what evil things she did in the nightmares that plagued her girlfriend.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Fade asks gently as she takes the water that Neon held out back to her to twist the cap back on.
Neon looks away from her, confliction written on her face as she fidgets with the zipper on Fade’s jacket. After a while of Neon not answering, Fade gives her a soft smile.
“It’s okay, tatlım. If you want to talk about it later, we can. For now, how about we lay down and watch something to get your mind off of it?” Fade says gently while holding onto one of Neon’s hands, raising it to her lips to place a gentle kiss across her knuckles.
“Yes, please.”
Fade rises from her position in front of Neon, kicking off her shoes and tosses her now snot-covered towel into her hamper before she climbs onto the bed following Neon as she crawls under the blankets. Once they are both laying down, Fade leans past Neon to grab the remote on the nightstand. As she leans back over to lay on her back again she pulls Neon with her so that she is laying against her with Fade’s arm wrapping around her to hold her.
Fade flips on the tv before turning on a movie on Netflix that Neon had mentioned wanting to see a few weeks back. As they settle in, Fade rests her head on top of Neon’s after pressing a kiss to her hair.
After about 15 minutes of this Fade hears Neon say something, too quiet for her to make out.
“Tala, baby, I need you to speak up a little.”
At this Neon moves her head back so that she is looking up at her, eyes still pink and glistening.
“I’m sorry about what I did back in the common room.”
Fade furrows her eyebrows and looks down at Neon confused.
“What do you mean?”
Neon looks away from her, blushing and once again fiddling with Fade’s jacket.
“Well Sage and Jett were right there but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was panicking and when I heard Jett say your name I didn’t think. Well that’s a lie. I did think but the only thing I could think was your name and how I wanted you to hold me. I know nothing can happen to us since they changed the policy since KJ and Raze were found out but I also know that you don’t like the other’s to know about…” Neon trails off before she says the rest of what she was going to.
Fade frowns at what lays unsaid between them.
I know you don’t want them to know about us.
“Hey,” Fade says, bringing a hand up to cup Neon’s cheek. “Never feel sorry for that. I don’t care what the others know or what they think they know. I care about you and that you’re okay. If you needed me at that moment then I’m glad I was there to get you.”
At this Neon smiles and leans up to kiss Fade, which she gladly returns.
“Thank you.” Neon mumbles against her lips.
Fade hums in response and kisses her again before they settle back again and continue to watch the movie.
After a minute Neon groans and turns her head to hide against Fade.
“Jett is going to have a cow when she sees me next. She always teases me for not being a physically affectionate person and then there I go practically begging you to hold me.”
Fade chuckles at her girlfriends whiney voice, knowing that if she’s using it that she’s trying to make a joke and lighten the mood.
“Yeah, she already doesn’t like me, I might have to have Prowler guard my room next time I sleep or she might try to slit my throat with her knives.”
Neon groans louder at the thought. Fade just laughs and kisses her head again.