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The last thing Xiao hears is the deafening honk of a car, the screeching of tires, and the silence that follows.
Darkness.
Nothing but darkness as he falls, away from the world he’d known for all his life, reality slipping further and further from his extended fingertips.
At that moment, even the stars had abandoned him.
Soon, he will cease to exist, becoming nothing but a memory that too, will eventually fade. Becoming a part of history, until even that history is forgotten, lost to the sands of time.
And should the hourglass be flipped again, and the samsara continues…
He can only hope that the next life will not be as painful as the last.
—
The first thing Xiao sees when he opens his eyes is the clear, bejeweled night sky, unchanged and still as dazzling as he remembers. The stars had retained their glow, still shimmering and shining in the way they always did before.
A constant that would never change, even as each individual star will eventually come to burst and die.
And knowing the thought soothed him, granted him peace of mind, even if only for a brief moment.
That, no matter where fate took his soul, there is still a familiar companion lingering nearby. He only needed to look up and meet their twinkling gaze to know that they’ve always been there, present, and always watching.
—
The first thing Xiao smells upon stepping foot into the nearby city is the warm aroma of freshly steamed baozi that invokes an overwhelming sense of nostalgia within him.
Except he’s never been here before this moment in time.
Even so, history in this dimension was unfolding the exact way he remembers. A terrible calamity of three stages will befall this kingdom, totally annihilating every living citizen that resided within these walls.
Including the cheerful, free-spirited maiden with flowing golden tresses, one hand tugging him through the bustling streets by the silken sleeve of his hanfu , while carrying a stash of baozi in the other.
There is no escaping fate. He knows that much already.
But in that moment, when he had locked eyes with her and seen for himself that precious smile, so bright and radiant it rivaled even the brightest star in the sky —
He felt nothing but the overwhelming desire to protect her, no matter the cost.
Even if it meant giving his life for a chance to defy fate.
It wouldn’t be the last life he’d live, anyway.
—
The first thing Xiao tastes when he wakes is not another baozi, but rather something much sweeter and softer than that. A muffled giggle escapes her, lighthearted and sweet — a sound that sends his heart soaring to the stars and back every time he hears it.
It’s addicting. Everything about her was addicting.
Languidly, he wraps an arm around her waist and tugs her infinitely closer, gently tilting her face with the other to allow himself better access, and returns her mischievous little deed with the consequences of her actions.
Though one can hardly call a kiss from their lover a “consequence.”
He knew it was all intentional, that her “incidentally bumping her lips into his” in her sleep was in fact, not incidental at all, judging by the way she melts like mush beneath him, and feeling her lips grow into that familiar smile of utter bliss and satisfaction.
And he’d happily give in to grant her that satisfaction, along with anything else that she desired, if only to preserve her happiness.
—
The first thing Xiao touches when he comes to be again is the hand of his lover.
Every day, he couldn’t quite believe that the stars had granted him a chance to meet her, the girl who would go on to become the love of his life.
…He shouldn’t have believed it.
He knew the truth. He knew that it was inevitable, that they would arrive at the same fate no matter how many loops and turns they took to escape it.
He should’ve told her the ending he foresaw, the ending of their story, recorded in the historical texts of the future in which he hailed from, and should’ve never taken the first step to fall with her.
Should’ve held back, should’ve pushed her away the moment she pulled him close.
Even though she’d eventually meet the same fate… At least, he would not have to live on with the crushing weight of guilt on his heart.
As if a sinner with a soul as tainted as his deserved any mercy.
“Ying…”
A feeble, disbelieving whisper that echoes and falls on dead ears.
There was no sound of a response, no familiar flash of a smile, no squeeze of reassurance from the hand he held — and the sky was devoid of stars.
They had all turned their backs and abandoned him again.
All that remained was the sick, revolting stench of death, the taste of her poisoned blood on his lips, the sound of her last breath as life fully departs from her body —
and the sight of her lifeless corpse, falling still for eternity.
In the end, he wasn’t able to protect her, and the warmth of his star slips again from his grasp.
—
The first sound that Xiao hears is his name.
He doesn’t know from where, but the voice was eerily familiar. He doesn’t know exactly who it belonged to, but his heart ached, wrenching and constricting in an excruciating way that he begged and prayed for death.
…He doesn’t know why, but he wanted to wake up.
Eyes fluttering open, he sees her face peering curiously down at him. The same pools of clear, molten gold, shimmering with the light of a thousand stars.
And the same curve of a smile, still as devastatingly sweet as he remembers.
So familiar, but so foreign.
“You’re awake,” she tells him. “Paimon and I have been waiting for hours.”
Groggily, the adeptus pushes himself up into a sitting position, a hand clutching his head as he attempts to recall his memories.
But strangely, none come to mind.
Nothing of the pasts he’s visited, nothing of the lifetimes he’s lived.
As if an entire section of his memory had been purged, but he doesn’t know what’s missing.
Doesn’t know if this world was the true reality he lived in, or if it was just another strange dream of his —
All except for one thing.
Xiao turns to the Traveler sitting by his side, a soft, serene expression on his face as he reaches to gently tuck away a stray strand of threaded gold, the slightest bit of restraint in his touch.
A little hesitant, a little afraid to engage with the gravitational pull of a star, despite knowing that he’d be pulled in all the same.
And in that moment, he sees all of them, present in her face.
Ying, Hotaru, Hyeong, the Viatrix — Lumine.
In every universe he had met her, he always fell in love with her — that much is true.
Even if it hurt him to pine for a girl that was always destined to leave him, one way or another.
That was a constant that would never change, no matter how many times he lives or dies.
As long as the stars continued to shine, they will meet again.
For she was the one and only constant star that would never abandon him.