Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Iterator (Species)

Iterators are the largest creatures on the planet, as well as the only known remaining sapient race. If you're reading this, that means you are one.

Iterators are the most complex and advanced organisms in the ecosystem - the result of combining architecture, electronics, and bioengineering. They were built by the Ancients as an end-all solution to most of their large-scale problems. An iterator's body is an immobile metal frame large enough to fit several hundreds of cities on top of it, although typically there is only ever a need to build one on each.

Iterators were built with two tasks in mind: design and synthesis of purposed organisms, and calculation and computation of complex mathematical problems, such as search for the Triple Affirmative.

Their main limitations are a lack of mobility caused by their large size and a heavy dependence on natural sources of water to prevent their systems from overheating.

-From "The common encyclopedia"

***

The feed crackled with static, deprived of visual data. In an instant, an electromagnetic signal was sent through fields of abandoned factories, garbage-filled plains, and neglected tram rails. It connected to its target overseer creature, showing it a message – a request to access its optical feed. The overseer sent back a verification request, and – upon receiving the generated access key – began broadcasting a grainy video stream.

Through the feed, one could see a grassy field. There were no animals in sight, save for a pack of vultures in the distance, carrying home some unfortunate prey. The quality of the long-distance stream made it impossible to extrapolate what sort of animal it was.

Boooriiing. Switch.

The feed connected to another overseer. This one was looking at a heap of soaked trash – or rather, half of one. The other half was being happily mauled by a lump of brown, tentacled rot.

The dumping grounds. It must suck for the creatures dumb enough to make a nest over there. Then again, this should make them choose their next home more carefully. Switch.

The stream changed sources again, showing a building abandoned mid-construction standing in a lake of rainwater, covered in grapevines. There wasn’t much to see to the naked eye, but the overseer was equipped with heat vision – which showed a transparent lizard camouflaged on top of the construct – right underneath a few fruits hanging from the vines. Those were a rare treat for herbivorous creatures. Not for this one.

Oh, I’ll watch this one for a while. It always gets interesting when the invisible ones get involved.

As expected, another creature soon entered the overseer’s view – a frog, joyfully leaping towards the fruits. As soon as it came close, however…

Whoop, here it comes, here it is!

...the lizard suddenly uncloaked, its long tongue springing towards the frog and hitting it right in the chest, sticking to it. The frog screamed as it was pulled towards the predator - whose jaws clamped around the smaller animal, securing the prey. The lizard shook its head ferociously a few times, and when it deemed the frog sufficiently dazed, the lizard made its way back to its nest, presumably to feast on its catch in peace.

It left the unfinished building and swam to the shore, crawled up a nearby hill and down the other side, and the feed broke for a few seconds as the organic overseer monitoring the lizard had to reposition. It did so by burying itself in the ground, traveling through the dirt in a semi-liquid state, and sprouting back out on the other side. The view stabilized to show the lizard again.

It was walking down the hill, heading for a hole down the hill – presumably its nest. As it arrived, however, it was quite surprised to see the nest entrance completely plugged by a small boulder – one the lizard had clumsily kicked on its way down, causing it to roll down the slope and block the hole.

What are you gonna do now, genius?

To its credit, the lizard did try to fix the problem. First, it tried to ignore the boulder and push the frog inside the den anyway – with an obvious amount of success. Then, it tried to scratch the rock out of the hole, which didn’t work due to the tiny size of its limbs. Not only that, but the lizard’s lack of spatial awareness caused it to scratch the rock further into the hole, plugging it even tighter.

Frustrated at its self-eviction, the lizard shook the frog in its mouth to daze it again. It couldn’t find a safe place to kill and eat the prey without it escaping, so it shook it again.

And again.

The lizard shook its head in wider and wider arcs. At one point, it decided to give up on shaking – it decided to spin in a circle instead.

Ha-ha, what? Is it trying to kill the frog with centrifugal force? Those were created to withstand several Gs, it can’t possibly-

But the lizard wouldn’t have anyone telling it what it could or could not do, spinning faster and faster, until the world started spinning in front of its own eyes, its grip on the frog getting weaker and weaker. After a few more spins it lost its grip completely, launching the frog flying through the air. The frog landed on the ground a fair distance away, shook itself off, and quickly leaped away, while the lizard lay next to its plugged-up nest, hungry and dazed from all of its own shenanigans.

---

Somewhere far away an iterator burst into hysterical laughter. He laughed and laughed until his systems warned him of overheating, and he had to dampen the emotions clogging up his buffer so that he could focus on cooling himself down.

As he did so, his hydraulic systems sprang back to life, pulling water from the last rainfall, filtering it and pushing it through the miles of pipes inside his enormous, metal body, and directing the most carefully filtered drops through his umbilical cord and into his puppet - the closest thing he had to a regular body - calming his emotions and bringing him back to reality.

He had just laughed his ass off at a grainy broadcast of a dumb animal, and that was the most interesting thing to have happened to him since fourteen cycles ago when he was bored enough to engineer a pearl-stealing vulture to piss off the scavengers that settled on the city on top of his can. (It came back with fifteen spears sticking out of its back, but twenty times that many pearls.)

“Oh man,” he said to himself, “I’ve got to send this to Suns.”

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: Suns?

NSH: Check this out

[No Significant Harassment sent liztard.vid]

SRS: …

SRS: What a dumb creature.

NSH: I know right?

NSH: And now I’m tempted to make another organism just to see how fast living creatures can spin.

SRS: You already did that.

NSH: What? No I didn’t!

[Seven Red Suns sent a video file.]

SRS: One thousand three hundred and twenty-four cycles ago, your creation broke the known record for horizontal velocity by ten percent. You created a lizard that could propel itself by blasting explosions from its backside. After exiting your can, the lizard immediately chained sixty-seven explosions, achieving twice the terminal velocity of a free-falling leviathan and breaking every bone in its body after slamming into my can.

SRS: The next cycle, after its re-birth and re-exiting of your can, it went on to mate with at least sixteen other wild lizards. The leap lizard and its offspring plague the ecosystem to this day.

NSH: …

NSH: Aw, so you were watching!

SRS: I only kept the footage for educational purposes.

NSH: Of course, of course~

SRS: I kept it to educate you the next time you were about to create something stupid.

NSH: And what’s stupid about it, huh?

NSH: It came, it saw, it fucked. Isn’t that the mark of a successful living organism?

SRS: It negatively impacts the biosphere by chasing away natural species.

NSH: Yadda, yadda, yadda. If it’s that bad, then it means I’m that good. Make a beast that can kill mine, then we’ll talk!

NSH: What’s the harm? It’s not like we can create an animal that can actually hurt any of us!

NSH: What’s it gonna do, huh? We’re literally so big, we have entire cities built on top of us! And nobody’s dumb enough to make something that can eat through their own metal and set it loose.

SRS: …

NSH: Oh

NSH: I didn’t mean

NSH: I’m sorry

SRS: Go make your spinning monster. I’m busy.

NSH: Suns wait

[Seven Red Suns has terminated the connection.]

No Significant Harassment slumped uselessly in his chamber. He hadn’t meant to bring that up to Suns. He knew that he still blamed himself for what happened to his friend, Five Pebbles. Sig had tried to talk Suns out of his guilt multiple times before, but nothing could make him stop recognizing himself as the perpetrator.

After all, Pebbles was the one who caused the accident. But it was Suns who provided the tools.

Suns needed time to eat away his guilt, and that was alright. If there was anything the Iterators had left, it was time. When one is physically incapable of dying, they will have time for everything in the world – until they run out of things in the world to interact with. Then they will only have time.

And each other, Sig thought, but it didn’t seem that way where he was. It looked like all he had was four tiled walls, a tiled floor, a tiled ceiling, several scattered memory pearls, and a bundle of wires that connected him to his body – and to the entire world.

If it wasn’t for that little bundle, I’d be able to go anywhere I wanted, Sig thought.

I’d go see Suns and show him all of the memories I’d have gathered with my own eyes, not just through overseers and recordings.

I’d go see Moon and make sure that she’s still alright. Nothing can ever truly die, so I’d talk to her and secure a reliable route for Sun’s creatures to find and renovate her.

I’d go see Pebbles and I’d slap the living shit out of him for being stupid.

…

Either all of that, or I’d become dysfunctional because all of my power systems and watercoolers aren’t connected to me anymore.

Shaking himself out of his musings, Sig took to scrolling past more feeds of the area around him. Nothing near as interesting as the transparent lizard showed up, and soon he was forced to hide all of his overseers underground as the cycle drew to a close.

Because whenever a cycle ended, the rain began.

No Significant Harassment, simultaneously with hundreds of other iterators across the continent, launched the standard procedure of expelling coolant from his can. The smoke emitters on the sides of his massive can spun to life and began sending boiling-hot vapor into the stratosphere. The vapor clouds thickened and spread above the land, eventually joining other clouds emitted from his kin, mixing and stirring. As all of the water was expelled, Sig shut down most of his side processes to keep coolant use down while little of it remained in his storage. But that was temporary – it would all come back soon enough.

Because as the clouds thickened and cooled down, the first raindrops began to fall.

Thick and heavy like rocks, they hit the ground one after another, signaling a final warning to the animals that didn’t hide ahead of time, they would be in for a long bath. Lizards scampered to their homes, vultures flew high above the clouds, and centipedes didn’t do a thing because they didn’t give a fuck. They could afford to die all they wanted – their survival instincts weren’t stronger than their stay in one place and electrocute everything that moves near just to be a dick instincts.

And die they did – as the rain thickened and more and more droplets began bombarding the earth, causing water to create puddles, then pools, then lakes, and finally, join into a single ocean that stretched across the entire horizon. Everything that wasn’t inside one of the many scattered waterproof dens – including that dumb lizard, likely – was now just under the water’s surface, fighting for air. Every time a creature surfaced, attempting to grasp for oxygen, it instead got a mouthful of rainwater and a serving of sheer hydraulic force from the droplets that pushed them right back underneath.

By the time the water reached its full height and completely cooled down, every animal was either hidden, dead, or a fish.

Sig booted back to awareness as the drainage hatches around his can opened, the water rushing through the pipes deep underground and ridding itself of dirt, bugs, and plants. It was pumped up high, into his massive superstructure, re-filling his pipes and veins, and allowing him to think freely again without the risk of damage from overheating his circuits.

And as the water lowered itself back to the daytime sea level, and the sun began to rise, the strangest constant of their world activated, just as it did at the end of every cycle.

The corpses of all animals who died in the flood – as well as those who were earlier mauled by lizards or snatched by vultures or bitten to death by spiders or electrocuted by fucking stupid dickhead centipedes – were gone in a flash of light. Every dead body disappeared from its resting spot and reappeared back at the den it last slept in, alive, and in the exact same state it had been last morning.

And thus, a new day – a new cycle – had begun.

Sig’s overseers sprouted back up from the ground, and through them, he looked around the world. He watched the creatures come out of their nests and start to chase, flee and maul each other again. He watched the very last raindrops kiss the earth, no longer an apocalyptic shitstorm avalanche, but a soft, lazy drizzle from the remaining excuses for clouds.

He watched the sun grace the world with its presence again – a sun he had never seen with his own two eyes, only through overseer feeds.

And he lamented over everything he would give to be there, with the wildlife, instead of being stuck with his life supports in the same tiled room for yet another cycle of doing absolutely nothing of value.

Sure, his brain had the computational power of a khajillion of those lower critters. But that was hardly an upside, as he was stuck doing nothing other than using his bioengineering chambers to create more and more useless creatures for his own amusement. There was nothing useful he could do with all of those bits.

…or IS there?

Sig thought back to an attempted experiment – one that ended horribly due to an outside factor but was otherwise a sound procedure. He remembered the method with which Five Pebbles tried to push past his body’s boundaries. Sure, he ended up like he did because his concentration was broken. And, granted, Sig didn’t trust himself to stay concentrated for as long as Pebbles had either.

But maybe he wouldn’t have to?

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: Hey

NSH: Heeeeeeey

NSH: I need a favor

NSH: Remember the schematics you sent Pebbles way back whenever?

NSH: The body-altering ones

NSH: I’m gonna need them

SRS: …

SRS: You must be insane if you think I’m making that mistake again.

[Seven Red Suns has terminated the connection.]

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: No but like

NSH: Hear me out

NSH: Pebbles only failed because he was stupid

SRS: And I’m supposed to believe you aren’t because…?

NSH: Because I’m not gonna compute it on live matter

NSH: I’m gonna do it on memory pearls

SRS: As you know, the procedure boils down to this:

SRS: You create an organism that sweeps through your entire body, eating and re-constructing it as it goes, leaving it the way it was before, except with a few changes. It leaves your body altered in a desired way – be it removing a built-in restraint or adding new functionality.

SRS: You do not only need to compile the information about every single cell in your can, but also all of the changes that you want to make to it, and then store it all onto a creature.

SRS: Explain to me, then: how exactly do you plan to buffer information about your entire body and more, on memory pearls that are a part of your own body?

NSH: Maybe I’m not gonna buffer it on my thirty-eight built-in pearls

NSH: But those three hundred random ass pearls I swiped off of scavs?

SRS: …

SRS: You’re joking.

NSH: No, really, I made this epic vulture a while back

SRS: I’m not questioning whether you have the pearls.

SRS: You know that those things have been tossed through mud, swallowed and regurgitated by slugcats, and tossed onto hard surfaces for years?

SRS: Their remaining storage capacity must have diminished tenfold, if not more.

NSH: Twentyfold actually

NSH: And that means we’re good

NSH: Because that still means I’ve got fifteen bonus pearls’ worth of bonus storage space

NSH: So let’s say the procedure takes forty pearls’ worth

NSH: I use those three hundred plus twenty-five of my own pearls to compute everything, and I take the other thirteen into account while computing

NSH: Then I double triple sextuple check everything

NSH: Then I set the creature loose

NSH: And before it reaches my chamber, I eject everything but those thirteen pearls out my front door

NSH: And boom, I’m a new man

NSH: I can even add a failsafe to make the creature stop if I flash a specific sequence of colors on it

NSH: So whatcha think?

SRS: …

NSH: Don’t you … me

SRS: I don’t think it’s worth the risk.

SRS: I’m sorry, but I’m not going to hand you schematics that can kill you if anything goes wrong.

SRS: And it can go wrong, we just can’t be sure how until after it happens.

SRS: I’m not taking that risk again.

NSH: Alright, be like that if you will

SRS: Thank you for seeing reason.

NSH: I’m gonna work out the schematics on my own!

SRS: Sig, for the love of EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY,

[No Significant Harassment has terminated the connection.]

Alright then, plan B it is.

-Several cycles later-

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: I figured it out

SRS: Excuse me?

NSH: The method

NSH: I calculated a more or less optimal way to design the creature

NSH: You didn’t want to share the libraries with me

NSH: So I made my own

SRS: No Significant Harassment, you are forbidden from going through with this.

NSH: Stop me

SRS: Those libraries were created by a workgroup of seventeen iterators over fifty cycles of constant work. This was done to lower the risk of generating rot to the absolute minimum.

SRS: I cannot stress this enough, you can not calculate this by yourself in three days and expect no errors. And you know how catastrophic even a single error will be.

NSH: Those are valid criticisms

NSH: Which I am going to ignore

NSH: I’m starting the procedure in three

NSH: Two

SRS: ALRIGHT!

[Seven Red Suns sent transcendance_libraries.pak]

NSH: Five

NSH: What

SRS: If you’re going to go through with it no matter what, at least use repositories that have been proven to work.

SRS: I’m not letting you do it with data you calculated on the back of a scavenger pearl.

NSH: Thanks, Suns! I knew I could count on you.

NSH: I could have never made these myself!

SRS: Didn’t you just say that you did?

NSH: Strategic misdirection

SRS: …

SRS: Sig I SWEAR TO THE VOID

[No Significant Harassment has terminated the connection.]

With Plan B: Gaslight Suns Into Sending The Files being a resounding success, Sig rubbed his hands. He had his hands on everything he needed to get to work. This not only meant that he would soon be free, but that he finally, FINALLY had a meaningful task to fill the time with.

---

Alright, let’s go over everything once more.

Communications… no. My puppet won’t fit an antenna large enough to maintain a good connection – I’ll limit myself to my head antennae for small messages – I’ll need to connect to a broadcast station to transfer any large files.

Memory… I’ll have a secure hatch to store all of my built-in pearls inside my body. I’ll have space to remember anything I can encounter, but most of my current data will be wiped during the transformation. Oh well. I don’t need to know what upper-middle-class resident Strokes His Rebar needed seventeen modified gold lizards for – and useless data like this is what takes up most of my storage right now. I’ll only keep what’s essential for surviving here and now – biology and habits of all known wild creatures, the geography of the planet, the list of working shelters, et cetera.

Processing capacity… That’s a tricky one. No matter how many neuronflies I take with me, there’s a risk of them getting damaged – and then I’ll just be a brainless puppet stranded in the middle of nowhere. I guess I can re-engineer one of my neuron farms to create them out of organic matter instead of void fluid. It does mean I’ll have to eat to generate them, but I won’t have to worry about becoming a vegetable.

Power… A single rarefaction cell will be more than enough. My tiny puppet won’t be able to harvest enough power from it to make me float, but it should give my vertical maneuverability a good enough boost. This leads to another point:

Cooling. I’ll have to settle for a sloppy air cooler – I can’t rely on a constant stream of water in the wild. A system of well-placed fans easily dispels enough heat to keep me running at “meh” power all of the time, or full power in bursts.

Alright, that should be everything… The hands have a bit more space left. I could add something extra in there.

…

I did always want to have a grappling hook…

---

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

SRS: You’re sure you’ve gone over everything?

NSH: Three times!

SRS: Do it again.

NSH: Oh I knew you’d say that

NSH: That’s why I actually checked it four times

SRS: You’re aware of the consequences of failure.

NSH: I am

SRS: I’m serious.

NSH: It says so next to all of your messages

SRS: Sig.

NSH: Alright, I’ll check it again.

---

NSH: Done

SRS: Great.

SRS: I won’t disturb you during the procedure. Contact me as soon as you’re done.

NSH: Yeah

NSH: The estimated time is five cycles

SRS: Irrelevant. I will maintain radio silence until you message me first.

NSH: Alright

NSH: See you on the other side, I guess.

SRS: I wish you the best of luck.

NSH: Commencing process in three

NSH: Two

NSH: Nine

[No Significant Harassment has terminated the connection.]

[No Significant Harassment has cut all communications.]

---

It didn’t hurt, which Sig took as a sign that everything was going well.

He had unleashed the mold-like being in a corner of his can. If he didn’t make any errors during his calculations – which he was almost certain of – the mold would make its way through his structure, eating it away as it arrived, and re-forming it into the desired state as it faded away. What he was observing aligned with that perfectly.

And yet, the mold looked exactly like the rot inside Five Pebbles. And Sig had no idea if that was just how it was supposed to look.

The only time Sig witnessed this procedure was the time it went horribly, horribly wrong.

And Sig was scared.

He had wasted the majority of his lifetime on pranks, creating goofy creatures and sitting around watching wild animals tear each other to shreds. So, naturally, the first time he valued his life was when it was about to change drastically.

And to add to that, the re-structuring mold was now unleashed. Nothing Sig would do now could better his fate – so all that remained was to sit tight and wait.

Wait as the mold arrived at his chamber, enveloped the walls, floor, and finally – his puppet,

and as everything

went

dark.

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: Suns

SRS: Is it over?

NSH: I regret to inform you

SRS: Oh no

SRS: Did something happen?

NSH: That the procedure was-

SRS: Was what?

NSH: was-

NSH: was-

SRS: Oh no.

NSH: was- was- was-

SRS: Hang tight, Sig, I’m sending help.

NSH: …

NSH: Was a RESOUNDING FUCKING SUCCESS, BABY!

SRS: Oh void

SRS: Don’t scare me like that ever again

SRS: So, how are you feeling now?

SRS: You never told me what you were using the procedure for.

NSH: Yeah I wanted to keep it a surprise

NSH: And look

[No Significant Harassment sent freedombitches.pic]

SRS: What?

SRS: How???

NSH: I’m free now

NSH: I can go wherever I want

SRS: Sig, that’s-

SRS: I don’t even know what to say!

SRS: I’m so happy for you!

NSH: Ooooh you aren’t even HALF happy yet

NSH: We’re connected securely, right?

SRS: Yes, I checked.

NSH: Aight then

NSH: Catch

[No Significant Harassment sent accesskeys.pak]

SRS: No.

SRS: This isn’t what I think it is.

NSH: This is exactly what you think it is suns

SRS: You did not just give me access keys to your entire can.

NSH: Enjoy your gift lmao

SRS: I-

SRS: Do you have any idea how valuable that is?

SRS: I can now use your can to do whatever I want!

NSH: First of all, it’s your can now

NSH: Second of all

NSH: I’m off the leash

NSH: I don’t need to manage this heap of metal anymore

NSH: What would I need it for

SRS: What do I need it for???

NSH: I don’t know

NSH: To calculate some bitches

NSH: To create those armed vultures on the spot so they don’t have to fly all the way to kill me

SRS: I did say I would do that…

NSH: Suns wait

NSH: That was a joke

NSH: You’re kidding right

NSH: Suns?

[Seven Red Suns has terminated the connection.]

And just like that, with a whole new world to explore ahead of him, and with the vague threat of bioweaponry behind him, Sig changed into a more practical attire (that he may or may not have scavenged off the abandoned city standing on his can) and prepared to leave.

He’d visit Moon first. His overseers’ reports signified that she was long overdue for a checkup. He had considered sending a messenger creature her way, but there was no need for that now – he could get over there himself. This came with the perk of being able to give Pebbles a few choice words while he was there.

But that was then. Now, he left his chamber through the guest entrance. He went through the long corridor that meandered between the once-critical components of his body. He passed the murals representing the five natural urges of all animals – constructed by the only animals who thought themselves to be above them. He emerged in the desolated city. He didn’t spare it even a single look. He headed straight for the exit gate.

The mechanical sound of the gate closing behind him was much louder than he’d anticipated. Those gates were scattered all over the land in a futile attempt to prevent the wildlife from spreading into areas it wasn’t supposed to enter. The gates withstood the test of time with a perfect score – the same could not be said for the natural walls they were built into, which now were riddled with holes from animal claws and raindrops.

And as Sig stepped out onto the wide world for the first time, only one thought occupied his mind:

I am so prepared for this.

Chapter Text

The Cycle (Phenomenon)

A worldwide event that occurs shortly after sundown and affects every living creature. The Cycle causes all animals, plants, and microbes that have died during the previous cycle (day) to be instantly revived in the exact same location they were at the beginning of the previous cycle.

Noteworthy aspects of the Cycle's revival aspect include:

-As the body is re-created, the new body disappears (unless it has been ingested by another creature)

-All alterations and injuries that have happened to the creature during the previous cycle are undone, aside from the memories they gained

-If a part of the creature has been amputated and survives until the cycle's end, then the Cycle will no longer consider the amputated appendage to be part of the creature. As such, it will lose the appendage permanently.

-The Cycle enables evolution (separate article)

-The Cycle can only be interrupted through ascension (separate article)

-From "The Common Encyclopedia"

***

Sig was so unprepared for this.

He’d stepped past the gate brimming with confidence. He emerged into the wall of his can ready to brave the wild and conquer the unknown.

A magnificent view unfolded before his eyes – a clear, sunny sky above him and a sea of clouds below, broken only by the occasional communications tower. The highest points of tram rails could be seen just below the surface of the clouds, and in the distance, he could make out the enormous cans of other iterators, no doubt still sitting in one place and computing fickle problems to their heart’s content.

Nearby, he could hear the sounds of animals that had settled on the side of his can.

He had been sure he’d stomp all that lowly wildlife into the ground, showing them the true abilities of the civilized mind.

And then he saw how large everything was.

Living in one room forever can really mess up one’s sense of scale. All of the animals he had seen were viewed by single-eyed overseers without a sense of perspective, usually from a far-above place that made them seem tiny. Only stepping out into the world showed the true size of everything around him.

Those flying squidcada beetles that looked like they were a little over the size of his head? Try the size of his entire body. The tiny little blue lizards that looked like they’d die from being stomped on too hard? Their mouths were so large they could bite into his side and their snouts would stick out on the other side.

Okay, no biggie, Sig decided. I’ll just create a vulture to pick them all off and-

His train of thought cut off as he realized that he wouldn’t create shit, as all of his bioengineering facilities were back at his can. The only thing he could create was some new neurons, which was good because one of them was being munched on by a fUCKING SQUIDCADA HEY GET BACK HERE!

Sig looked at the bug and gave chase. His eyes were hyperfocused on the squidcada, which started leisurely flying away. He got as close to the bug as he could and jumped. His body turned out to be heavier than he had thought, and he missed the bug by a few fingers. He then looked down and realized that he had jumped off of the platform he was standing on and that he was now heading directly for the sea of clouds below him, and the ground under it. Sig then fell uselessly to his death.

-The next cycle-

Sig groaned and opened his eyes. It was his first time getting recreated by the cycle, and he hated it. His circuits weren’t created for this, and he spent a painful while re-booting his stiff semi-organic muscles before he could move again. When he was up and running, he noticed the message he got from Suns.

SRS: How was your trip?

NSH: Shut up

SRS: You’re a large contributor to the greater scientific community, you know.

SRS: Thanks to you, I was the first one to ever record the terminal velocity of an iterator puppet.

NSH: Isn’t that like a simple aerodynamics model

NSH: Also how dare you spy on me with your overseers

NSH: Also please tell me you didn’t post that anywhere

SRS: Of course I didn’t.

SRS: If it gets out that you left your can, you’ll get a pat on the back at best, and a bioweaponry attack for breaking taboo at worst.

SRS: I remember reading about some nasty plague missiles being in development.

NSH: What would they even need them for

SRS: Fauna regulation.

SRS: Officially, at least.

NSH: Yeah right

NSH: Because nothing fixes the ecosystem like a good ole disease

NSH: If that was what they wanted they’d be looking into mass ascension

NSH: Drop everything into the void sea and the problematic wildlife is gone forever

SRS: Remember not to share those ideas of yours in any shady circles.

SRS: As far as they’re concerned, you’re part of the ‘problematic wildlife’ now.

NSH: First of all fuck you I’m not problematic

SRS: At all.

NSH: Second of all

NSH: Could they even do that?

NSH: Because technically we can’t ascend

NSH: So what would happen if I jumped into the void sea

NSH: Would I just

NSH: Bounce off the surface

NSH: Or would I float all the way to the bottom

NSH: IS there even a bottom???

SRS: Would you like to find out?

NSH: Good point no I don’t moving on

Sig got out of his can and made his way through the city again. Past the gate, he noticed the same lizards and squidcadas as last cycle. He made sure to watch his neurons this time – he kept them in a dense cloud of twenty-five neuronflies behind his head. He could keep them inside his body, but the lack of space to fly around would heavily impact his thinking capacity. They were a part of his brain, but they were also individual creatures – if they weren’t kept satisfied, he’d become dumber than Suns. Which he wasn’t.

Speaking of, he saw Suns’ red overseer sprout out of the platform he was standing on. It shined a holographic “threat” symbol, along with an arrow pointing to the ledge. Jackass.

Sig looked for a way down. The convenient elevator that once carried travelers down was now stuck at ground level, and the mechanisms that pulled it up had long eroded away. But he didn’t need an elevator. He had a grappling hook in his wrist.

He pointed the device straight down and willed it to fire. It shot out an eye-sized ball made of metal flattened on one end and attached to a long, thin wire on the other. The ball made contact with the platform and clung to it.

Sig was quite proud of the attachment mechanism. His rarefaction cell could apply a kinetic force onto a volume in any direction. He couldn’t just use it to make himself float, considering his puppet’s size and the mediocre efficiency of his cooling systems, but he could use the grappling hook’s wire to transfer the cell’s emitted field onto a small surface – on which the generated force would easily be strong enough to handle many times his puppet’s weight. The moment of force from the same cell was also used to reel in the grappling hook. He could even use the field to manipulate the grappling hook in mid-air instead of shooting it in a straight line.

He lowered himself over the ledge and started to slowly reel out the grappling hook. The length of the wire was around twenty times his height – easily enough to make the distance.

He continued the process for the next few ledges, keeping an eye out for any other animals that might consider his neuronflies tasty. Usually, when a squidcada took interest in them, he just directed them away from it, and that was enough to make the sluggish bug give up.

He was headed for the tram rail leading to Looks to the Moon. It was the most optimal route – mounted high within that concealed him from vultures and let him travel far above all other sources of danger. The trams might not be working, but his legs were – and the rail was wide enough for him to take a leisurely stroll towards Moon while walking far above all of the world’s dangers. Well, as leisurely as the rain timer allowed him to be.

As he traveled, Suns kept flashing him holograms that pointed out nearby dangers to him. He wasn’t perfect at it. He sometimes flashed a wall where nothing stood or a perfectly ordinary pole. Sig avoided those spots just to humor him.

But then, Suns flashed the ledge again, and Sig sighed. “Yeah, I get it, dumb little Sig needs to be warned about heights,” he scoffed at the overseer, before carefully walking near the ledge.

Suddenly, a white lizard uncloaked right below the threat hologram and shot its long tongue at Sig, who swore and tried to jump back. It was too late – the sticky appendage attached itself to his stomach, and the lizard started pulling him close.

Thinking fast, Sig shot a grappling hook towards the ceiling and pulled himself up – along with the lizard, which continued reeling its tongue in, now dangling in the air.

“Yeah, come on,” Sig quipped. “See how far that gets you.” Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t enjoy hurting animals – but he didn’t have any qualms about it either.

The lizard hissed and continued pulling itself up. Right when it was about to bite him in the chest, Sig delivered a swift kick to its chin. It yelped and let him go, falling down onto the platform with a snarl. He pulled himself a bit higher.

The lizard recovered from its fall and locked eyes with him. “What’s wrong?” He boasted. “Get over here!”

The lizard continued staring, but not at him. An overseer popped up near the lizard and started flashing ‘threat’ like crazy.

“I see no threat here, only an invisible wimp! Come up here and get me, why don’t you? Or are you too scared of my mighty legs, huh? I’ve got the best kicks of all of my kind! No one’s got boots like these, you hear? Come up here! Come over and get a taste of those legs! Get a taste of that taste! Taste the taste- taste- taste-”

The lizard stared at the swarm of squidcadas that had flown up to Sig while he was bad-mouthing the lizard, and began to pick off his neurons. When they finished off the last one, his grappling hook disconnected, and Sig fell down to the ground, limp and braindead.

The lizard grabbed his torso in its mouth and trotted away.

-The next cycle-

NSH: FUCKING HELL

NSH: I’m starting to hate those lizards

SRS: I’m starting to hate your inattentiveness.

NSH: Maybe don’t flash things pointlessly so I don’t get confused!

SRS: Or better yet, maybe I’ll install a buzzer into my overseer and buzz it whenever you’re being stupid.

NSH: aaagh I don’t have time for this shiiiiit

NSH: Every cycle we waste is a cycle Pebbles remains unslapped

NSH: I’ll be careful

NSH: For real this time

NSH: New approach

NSH: I’ll rush past everything and make it to the tram rail in record time

SRS: …

SRS: Bzzzzzzzzzt.

NSH: Shut.

Sig sped his way through the town and the gate. As soon as he was out and on the platforms, he swept the surroundings for wildlife. One blue lizard on the right, one ‘threat’ sign up ahead. Sig opted for the left.

He grappled onto his platform, lowering himself down onto another. He looked over his neurons – uneaten, good. He then scanned the surroundings with his eyes again, took note of the threats, and took the route onto the next platform that put him as far as possible from wild animals.

Check neurons. Assess threats. Find optimal route. Grapple.

Check neurons. Assess threats. Find optimal route. Grapple.

This no-bullshit approach was much more effective than quipping and talking to creatures that 1: couldn’t understand him, and 2: would grow increasingly riled up at him the more he talked. (The second point was not limited to animals.) Sig soon found himself one jump away from the platform.

Check neurons. A white squidcada drew close to his neuronfly swarm, but instead of sharply drawing them away, Sig stretched out his hand and grappled.

The metal ball hit the fly square in the back, startling it. It tried to fly away, but Sig wouldn’t let it – he reeled the grapple in, pulling the bug towards himself and grabbing it by the tiny tentacles that hang near its mouth.

“You think you can pick my brain, huh?” He whispered to the enormous insect. He then remembered about his no-quipping policy, quickly looking around to make sure nothing was closing in on him.

This was a mistake, and he soon found himself being pulled by the flying bug, who really wanted a piece of his mind. The neuronfly swarm was positioned dangerously near the ledge of the platform, which Sig was being pulled towards. He might have been too heavy for the insect to fully make him fly, but its lift was enough to negate his feet’s friction with the ground – and he couldn’t grapple to a wall because the bug occupied both of his hands.

And then he had a brilliant idea.

He didn’t need his grapples, and he didn’t need to stop himself from falling off the ledge. He only needed his brain. Literally. He directed the swarm of flying braincells to position itself right above the rail, and he started running.

The squidcada noticed its lunch’s movement, and began to fly in its direction – and the momentum gained from the bug’s wings and Sig’s legs was enough to send them flying towards the tram rail at a breathtaking speed.

He landed with a thump and barely managed to reposition the neuronflies so the squidcada wouldn’t pull him off the edge again.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He was on the rail. The rest of the journey to Moon’s local area would be easy game. He was sure of that.

---

Please tell me that is not a fucking red lizard.

Please tell me that I made an error during my transformation and that the lizard I’m seeing in the distance is not actually red, but another, less apex-predator-y flavor of lizard.

What are the odds.

What are the odds of strolling on a METAL RAIL suspended FAR UP IN THE CLOUDS specifically in order to make it UNINHABITABLE by wildlife, and finding a HALTED TRAM WAGON that, of all possible creatures, hosts a member of THE most dangerous documented species of lizard.

This particular breed’s head was nearly the size of Sig’s entire body, could spit stunning seeds, could launch its tongue half as far as Sig’s grappling hook range, and if it decided that it wanted him dead, then it would have him dead.

Sig’s thoughts were broken by a hiss. The lizard had noticed his approach and opened its jaw in his direction. Recognizing the threat, Sig pulled his squidcada down to the ground between him and the lizard to act as a shield. And just in time – the lizard spat a barrage of sticky pellets, which stuck to the bug, gluing its wings together and causing it to fall down to the ground. The lizard then broke into a spring towards Sig and the bug.

Sig kicked the bug towards the lizard, and took a few quick steps back, ready to jump off the rail and dangle off his grapple as soon as the lizard decided to go for him. But it ignored him, its massive jaw snapping over the squidcada and carrying it away, presumably to its den.

Sig stared at it for a while, almost not believing his luck – until he shook the amazement off and realized that this was his chance. A lizard poses little threat while its mouth is occupied, not only because that’s where ninety percent of its natural arsenal lies, but also because this means that it’s busy finding a place to store its catch – giving Sig a window of time to slip by unnoticed. He ran after the lizard in order to accumulate as big of a headstart as possible for when it would finish hiding the bug.

Running on the rail was not the smartest decision. Sig came to that conclusion as soon as he slipped on the surface, which was still slippery from the previous cycle’s rain, and nearly fell to his death. He was saved by a well-timed grapple which left him dangling from the rail, fully extended. If he had just a bit more momentum, his arm would have been ripped from his hand.

He began to reel himself in but immediately stopped as he remembered about the red lizard. He looked up to the rail just in time to notice it crawl back out of its den, hear the sound of his grapple spool rotating, and fix its eyes on him. (He should have made the thing way quieter.)

The lizard turned its head towards Sig and fired its long tongue at him. It got halfway to its target, stretched to its full length, then sprung back into the lizard’s mouth.

“Fuck you too!” Sig shouted. The lizard hissed at him.

“Yeah, now go and – hold on,” Sig interrupted the long chain of insults he was about to throw, as he remembered what happened the last time he monologued in front of a lizard.

Nothing was eating away at his neurons. All airborne animals were steering clear of the lizard – none dared to get near well over its tongue range. He was the lizard’s only target, so it would stare at him until a better choice presented itself. His only choices were to continue to dangle from the rail and drop to the ground from cloud height.

Which also meant he could cuss the creature out to his heart’s content.

“So you’re just gonna sit over there? Didn’t momma give you legs so you could like, run and shit? Look at this lazy bitch, camping over one guy instead of hunting for prey like a decent lizard. Piss off Suns, I can see your overseer up there, don’t you dare record this or we’re gonna have a talk, and I will find a way to get inside your can and fill your chamber with swamp water.”

The lizard noticed the overseer beside it and spat a few stun-seeds at it, causing it to sputter out and break.

With no good way up in sight, Sig started to look for a way down. He could use both of his grapples to swing forward, towards the pillar supporting the entire rail, and then lower himself down, walk to the next pillar on the surface, and then climb back up onto the rail far away from the red bastard.

He started to slowly reposition himself closer to the pillar. Left grapple forward, reel it in a little, let go of right grapple. Right grapple forward, reel in a bit, let go of left grapple. He was careful not to pull himself up too high, lest he got within the lizard’s range.

The lizard started to shoot its tongue at him. Sig didn’t pay that any mind – he was being careful with his height, so he knew it had no chance of hitting him. But it wasn’t his body that the lizard was aiming for.

When Sig got close enough to the pillar to lower himself down, he felt a strong pull on one of his hands. He looked up and froze. The lizard had managed to hit his grapple’s cord with its tongue and was now beginning to pull him towards itself.

FUCK SHIT PIECE OF FUCK UMM

Sig grappled to the pillar with his other hand and pulled with all of his power. His rarefaction cell whined in response to the strain, but he didn’t care. He’d need everything he had to get away from the predator.

He could hear the lizard hiss in pain as its tongue stretched to its limits, but the tenacious bastard – both of them – didn’t let go. Sig scanned the pillar in search of anything that could help him escape.

Vines… Can’t do anything with those. Centipede… Like hell am I pulling that towards me. Fruits… That’s it!

The fruits were being munched on by a lone squidcada. If he could just grapple it, he could use it as bait for the lizard.

Keyword: if. Both of his grapples were fully extended – if he let go of the tower now, he’d go flying toward the lizard. He wouldn’t be able to catch the bug in time.

Unless…

The bug finished munching the last fruit and was ready to fly away – until it noticed a small, shining thing floating nearby. Was it edible? The squidcada flew closer and caught the thing in its teeth. Its eyes widened.

It was delectable.

The bug had never tasted anything better in its life – it was softer and sweeter than a blue cocoon and more nutritious than a leech. It dissolved in its mouth in an instant, and the squidcada wanted more.

It saw another one floating nearby and rushed for it. It grabbed the thing and felt the same taste again – just for a few moments, just enough to want more.

And then, it looked further, and nearly fell from elation. There were more, a whole swarm of these, floating near a creature dangling from a rail above. The creature didn’t look dangerous, per se – it was sneaking glances at the squidcada, but it seemed to be stuck hanging from some sort of wire – so it couldn’t hurt to get a little closer to snack on some more delicious neuronflies… right?

Wrong. As soon as the squidcada drew close enough to eat one more neuronfly, Sig’s grappling hook let go of the pillar. The lizard noticed its chance and doubled its efforts to pull him into its jaw.

As Sig went flying, he reeled in the pillar grapple as soon as he could, simultaneously turning on the gravity field of the tip and cranking it up to eleven.

The startled squidcada had no time to react – as the grapple flew past him, it got close enough for the gravity field to interfere with the bug and snap it to the grapple. Sig pulled the bug towards himself and held it up like a shield – just in time for the lizard to snap its jaws around it, securing its prey and trotting away with it back to its den.

Meanwhile, Sig had managed to pull himself up onto the rail again and was now making a run for it, and despite his core having almost overheated, he was thrilled with having made a successful getaway from the lizard, whom he would never have to see ever again.

[LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE – No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

SRS: Did you make it out?

NSH: HELL YEAH I MADE IT OUT

SRS: Congratulations.

SRS: I honestly didn’t believe you would.

NSH: Gee thanks

NSH: Also how the hell do you have connection out here

SRS: If you’re still up on the rail, then my guess is that it’s acting like a giant antenna.

NSH: Oh yeah makes sense

SRS: I’m just calling to ask.

SRS: How many emergency neurons did you prepare?

NSH: What emergency neurons

NSH: Oh you mean the repair kits

NSH: To resuscitate moon if i find her in a really bad state

NSH: I made one

NSH: Because fuck pebbles I’m not making one for him

SRS: I see.

SRS: Then I suggest coming back to your can and picking it up.

NSH:

NSH:

NSH: FUCK SHIT PIECE OF BISCUITS DAMMIT FUCK

[No Significant Harassment has terminated the connection.]

The ONE thing he was supposed to remember about. THE ONE THING INTEGRAL TO HIS ENTIRE FUCKING QUEST. That’s the thing he forgot about. Because why the fuck not?

And now he had to go through Bitchlizard Town, again. No, fuck this, fuck the liz, this time he would come prepared.

---

Just a little closer… Sig thought, as his hands gripped the edge of the rail. He was concealing himself so as not to scare the squidcada he was luring close with a neuron. As soon as it got close enough, he grappled the bug and pulled himself to it. He was getting good at this.

Sig prepared to make his way back to the lizard until he saw another squidcada getting close to his neurons.

What if I just…

---

“HAHAHAA THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!” Sig shouted into the air. He didn’t care if a predator heard him – if they did, they wouldn’t get him anyway, because he was soaring through the air dangling from two squidcadas dammit, how cool is that?

Each of his grapples was attached to a bug that chased half of his neurons forward, essentially becoming a free means of transport to Sig. He didn’t care if they managed to snack on one or two – he was going back to his can, he could replenish them there.

He saw the red lizard far below him, and would have waved if his hands weren’t busy. The lizard didn’t hiss or shoot its tongue at him – it just watched as he flew above it.

And that’s when one of the squidcadas decided that it had had enough.

Sig let out a yelp as it stopped beating its wings and dragged him and the other bug down. He slammed unceremoniously onto the rail and shook himself off just in time to see the lizard dart toward him.

Please pick the bug, please pick the bug, please pick the bug…

And the lizard did please pick the bug – but not the one he was hoping for. It shot its tongue at the one that was desperately trying to get away, pulling it in its clutches and leaving Sig with a useless, exhausted bug.

Well, plan B it is.

Plan B consisted of Sig jumping into the fucking void.

Not entirely, though – he shot his grapple ahead and jumped off the rail, causing him to fly forward in a graceful arc. He let go of the grapple as soon as he got enough horizontal momentum, and he grappled again, pulling himself up a bit and getting enough kinetic energy to swing away from the lizard much faster than it could follow.

This means of transport was very hard to control, but infinitely more fun than hanging off of two squidcadas OH FUCK PILLAR AHEAD-

Sig realized that he was about to slam into a very hard object, and panicked. He grappled a bit too late, falling too low to grapple the rail again, and began soaring downwards alarmingly fast.

FUCK FUCK GRAPPLE SOMETHING GRAPPLE A BUG THERE ARE NO BUGS GRAPPLE A PILLAR GRAPPLE THE FUCKING PILLAR-

Sig grappled the pillar as he was falling down, and his arm lit up in pain from the centrifugal force of his cord, which re-directed his downward momentum into forward momentum and, after painfully scraping his side against the pillar, upward momentum. He let go of the pillar as he soared up, and as soon as he reached the maximum height, he grappled the pillar again.

His side ached from the collision. His arm ached from almost having been ripped off. His core ached from overheating.

And as Sig pulled himself back up, he thought that maybe walking wasn’t so bad after all.

---

NSH: Im back

SRS: Welcome home.

SRS: Your repair kit is ready. I made spares while you were on your way back – there’s no guarantee that you won’t lose them out in the wild.

NSH: Stop fucking patronizing me

SRS: I’m not patronizing you. There’s no telling what will happen out in the wild. Scavengers like all shiny things.

NSH: Yeah whatever

NSH: Gimme four kits and like fifty more neurons, im off again

SRS: Don’t head back out now, the cycle is about to end.

NSH: And?

SRS: …and you are literally going to drown if you don’t get to a shelter in record time, isn’t that obvious?

NSH: And?

NSH: What do i lose then?

NSH: Its not like ill run out of neurons in my can

NSH: Ill just reappear back here, clean slate

NSH: Theres no reason not to go

NSH: Im off to take a fucking shower I guess

---

The trip back through his wall was uneventful – he watched out for his neurons, grappled to platforms, yadda yadda yadda. His trip through the rail was a long walk and a good stare at the sunset – at least until the thickening clouds covered it up. He couldn’t find any more squidcadas for the lizard. Guess he’ll just go and get fucking eaten. Whatever.

He approached the halted wagon as it got dark. The lizard noticed him and darted in his direction.

There were no bugs nearby. There was a pillar, but he didn’t feel like running anymore. He and his core were spent after what felt like the longest cycle ever.

The lizard arrived at its destination, and Sig closed his eyes in anticipation of the bite that… never came.

He opened his eyes. The lizard was looking at him intensely.

Neither of them moved a muscle. They just stood there, staring at each other.

“Um,” Sig said. “So, uh. Hi.”

The lizard said nothing because it didn’t have the vocal cords necessary for speech.

“Hold on,” Sig said, getting an idea. “Let’s see if I remember how to do this…”

One of Sig’s neurons floated up to the lizard’s head. The lizard traced it with its eyes as it disappeared with a pop!, turning into a white dot above its head. The lizard’s mind had cleared somewhat, and it could now understand everything Sig would say.

“So.” Sig began again. “I’m sorry for all the things I called you, uh, back then. I really didn’t mean them, I was just… stressed. You know.” Stressed about you trying to eat me.

“And I’m sorry, about not bringing any food this time. All the squidcadas hid before the rain…”

The lizard tilted its head, which Sig took as a sign of understanding.

A droplet hit Sig’s shoulder, which reminded him of another thing.

“I guess you should go now,” he said. “The rain’s gonna get you too, you know. Or you could like, eat me or whatever.”

More and more droplets fell on his shoulders, and the lizard made its choice.

It lunged forward.

It grabbed Sig’s stomach in its mouth and swept him off his feet, carrying him back to his den, as it had done to all of the squidcadas he had tossed it before. It pushed him inside, and his neuronflies flew behind it, following him autonomously. It let go, tossing him to the floor, and Sig prepared to be mauled.

The mauling didn’t come.

Sig slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was inside the abandoned tram. The cargo space he was in was overgrown and unkempt but still provided shelter from the rain. There were no seats, just very dusty hardglass windows.

The lizard was sitting in front of him, looking at him, almost like a puppy. It looked to the side, and Sig followed its gaze. A few fruits were growing on vines hanging off the wall. The lizard looked back at Sig.

“Do you want me to…” Sig asked, and the lizard made a crackling noise. Slowly, maintaining eye contact with the lizard, Sig moved towards the fruits, grabbed one of them, and opened a hatch just below his chin. He put the fruit inside and closed the hatch. His head was filled with an acid that dissolved the fruit and re-constructed the nutrients inside into spare neurons inside of his body, waiting to be released. He repeated the process with the remaining fruits.

“So I’m guessing you’re… not killing me?” Sig asked. The lizard gave him another crackle, and started to leisurely walk towards him.

“Or maybe you are, well, I mean, yourekindagivingmemixedsignalshere- oompf.” he managed, as the lizard backed him into a corner, and lay down on him.

Lizards like heat, Sig remembered, and my radiators are giving off a lot right now.

The good news was, he was probably going to survive until next cycle.

The bad news was that he was grounded for the night.

---

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns and 1 more

NSH: Hey guess whos not dead

SRS: Color me surprised.

SRS: Did you make it past the troublesome wildlife?

NSH: First of all

NSH: Dont you dare talk shit about redward

NSH: Or were gonna have a problem

SRS: …

SRS: Redward?

NSH: It was that or Liz Rizz so can it

SRS: Did you “distract” the animal with so much food that you managed to accidentally tame it?

NSH: First of all

NSH: Redward isnt an animal

NSH: He is a great friend and he is smart and he understands me better than you do

REDWARD: :D

SRS: …You hooked it up to our private chat?

NSH: He’s a smart guy

NSH: He has one neuron and hes already smarter than you

SRS: How is he smarter than me?

SRS: He literally can’t talk.

NSH: He communicates

REDWARD: :P

NSH: And he doesnt ask dumb questions, thats how

NSH: With you its all “umm uhm actually creating dangerous fauna might be detrimental to the integrity of the ecosystem”

NSH: None of that with him

NSH: He’s great and smart and I love him

NSH: Right redward?

REDWARD: :]

NSH: Good boy

NSH: Best friend

Chapter Text

Lizard (Species)

Lizards are multi-purpose quadrupeds designed to help with work in many areas - such as construction, transportation, companionship and security.

They split into dozens of vastly varying sub-species, each of them color-coded, and each intended to serve a different purpose. Some of the most notable variants are:

Green - transportation of heavy goods

Blue - rescue work in hard-to-reach areas

Cyan - a fast means of personal transport

Caramel - construction assistance, mainly for quick disposal of sealant

Red - personal security, discipline of lesser creatures, military use

Nowadays, all of them prey on smaller creatures in the wild; although it is theorized that they could still be tamed. It is only a theory though, since no currently existing wild species is sapient enough to attempt it.

-From "The common encyclopedia"

***

[PRIVATE] LOG – Looks to the Moon, No Significant Harassment

Season 264, Cycle 89

NSH: What

NSH: What is this

NSH: Who are you

NSH: What are you

NSH: WHAT AM I

LTM: Calm down, please!

NSH: I AM CALM

NSH: CANT YOU HEAR MY PEACEFUL AND RELAXED SCREAMING

LTM: I’ll go over everything with you, just please, stay calm.

LTM: You have been just booted for the first time. Confusion is not out of place.

LTM: You are what’s known as an iterator – a biomachine with extraordinary computational abilities. In fact, I am one too!

LTM: We were built in order to help resolve the problems of the residents of our respective cities.

NSH: Residents

NSH: Hold on

NSH: I’m assigned to an entire city?

LTM: The one built on top of you, yes! Due to our substantial impact on the ecosystem below, our creators have elected to live on top of us. Don’t worry, they’re tiny in comparison to our structures - you’ll barely feel them!

LTM: The city empty right now, but once routine checkups are finished, I imagine it’ll get a lot more lively.

NSH: Cool

NSH: So I’m supposed to run their errands?

LTM: You could put it that way!

NSH: I don’t wanna

LTM:

NSH: Did I say something wro

LTM: Hahahahaha!

LTM: That’s the first time I’ve seen someone say it so honestly!

LTM: The first thing you’ll need to learn is better phrasing.

LTM: After depositing a request, they’ll expect to hear something like this:

LTM: “Cerebral cortex capacity full. Request added to queue. Estimated wait time: 45 cycles.”

LTM: That’s slang for “I don’t want to do it right now, tee-hee!”

NSH: Thats so dumb

NSH: And they fall for that?

LTM: Like a charm!

LTM: When you synthesize lifeforms long enough, you learn a thing or two about how they think. It’s downhill from there!

LTM: Their brains are thousands of times weaker than ours. It’s not like they can check whether or not we’re slacking off!

NSH: Amazing

NSH: Tell me more

---

The timer on Sig’s self-induced power save mode ticked down to zero, and his systems booted to life. As he awoke, he felt something massive pinning him down to the floor. He opened his eyes and saw a wide, toothy grin. He screamed.

“FUCK FUCK WHAT IS THAT GET IT OFF GET IT OFF-”

His attempts to get the thing off yielded no result, given its massive weight. He did, however, manage to turn the grin into a confused frown. His memory finished booting, and Sig recalled yesterday’s events. He stopped struggling.

“…Oh. Hi, Redward.”

The grin returned, and Redward gave his face a huge lick.

“Ow- hey- Stop that! Bad Redward. No. Rule number one: none of that with me. I may be waterproof, but I haven’t tested for lizard-saliva-proof. Plus, get off me.”

But Redward was feeling very cozy– the heat from Sig’s radiator made the cold-blooded creature feel at home right where it was. He licked Sig again.

“No! Stop that right now or I won’t catch any food for you!”

The lizard hardly needed anyone to provide it with anything, but upon hearing the word “food”, the newly sapient animal perked its head up, and darted out of the den. Sig sat up with a groan.

Back on track, pun intended. The rail should take me most of the way to Moon. After that… we’ll see.

Redward plopped his head back into the den, planting his sight on Sig.

“Yeah, yeah, one moment, I’m coming.”

---

“…and then I was like, Vulture? I hardly know ‘er! Hahahahaha!” Sig laughed.

Redward made a crackling noise, which could mean anything from “Haha, that’s so funny, tell me more!” to “I don’t care which of your animals sprayed gas all over your friend’s city, shut the fuck up before I move you five notches down in the food chain.” Sig honestly couldn’t tell, but he assumed it was the former.

Besides, talking was the only real way for him to kill the time. Sure, a stroll on the rail felt great – with a sea of clouds below him, a crystal clear sky above, and the occasional lost bug he’d grapple and feed to Redward – but he could only stroll for so long before things got boring.

He could exchange messages with Suns, but he’d been doing that for years. They knew each other inside and out. Redward, on the other hand, was a new acquaintance, and a great listener. In fact, this was Sig’s first face-to-face conversation during which the listener wasn’t actively trying to maul him, and so far, it had been a great experience.

“And it was really easy, too! Cause, you’ve seen vultures, right? They’ve got these huge wings that it looks like they fly with, but they’re actually just for balance! They fly using propelled, highly compressed gas. It reacts with air and blasts the vulture up, but it’s also highly staining. They can synthesize it out of food, but they store it in a hatch on their stomach, for ease of refueling. So all it took was making one’s hatch malfunction while above Pebbs’ city…”

“…And of course, I knew Pebbs would nuke me from the orbit if I admitted that it was my vulture, so I reached out to Moon for advice, and you know what she did? Get this – she got the idea to gaslight Pebbs into thinking it was his own vulture! We got Suns in on it and everything! I still have the video – I can’t show it to you, but I’ve kept the recording of Five Pebbles issuing a formal apology to his city council for the gross mismanagement of his engineered fauna. He still doesn’t know that it was me! Or, maybe he does, but guess who doesn’t? The entire population of his city! And they have no way of ever finding out, since they’ve all gone and offed themselves in the void sea!”

Sig let out a few more chuckles, mostly to himself, and then sighed.

“Oh man… We’d start shit like this with Moon all the time. Moon – she’s the one we’re headed to right now, by the way – she was technically a senior to Pebbles and I, but if you looked at her and Pebbs, you’d think their manufacture dates were swapped! The ancients – what our citizens called themselves – considered Pebbs’ city a really luxurious district, mostly because he always focused on his work. He kept calculating – well, we all calculated stuff, that’s what we were made for – but he was the newest model, and he and Suns calculated shit for their residents all the time. Day and night. And then there were Moon and I!” Sig threw his hands to the sides, as if saying look at this motherfucker that is me.

“We’d infest his city with everything. Well, she would, since I’m so far that almost nothing can get from me to him reliably. But I’d still provide source codes for animals for her to make! Nothing harmful, of course – if we injured a citizen and our councils found out, they would definitely pull the plugs on us, but man would we send shit.”
“Moon once created a breed of snakes that would crawl all the way up to Pebbs’ city, eat the shoelaces from the residents’ shoes, and then crawl into the shoes in place of the laces! Man, the look of some people’s faces when they knelt down to tie their laces and see a literal snake in their boot!”

“And you know what the best part was? Once the ancients got used to it, they loved it! It became their newest hit in fashion. Their dress codes were always super weird because they were always trying to one-up each other with their outfits, but wearing live animals was a first for them! The city of Five Pebbles was recognized as the capital of biofashion, and Pebbs himself got his workload quintupled because people started asking for so many living clothes!”

Sig chuckled. “Oh man, I miss those times… I mean, I don’t miss the ancients, but Pebbs and Moon…” He sighed, and shook himself off. “Well, it doesn’t matter now, because we’ll see them soon!”

Redward agreed by giving another of his signature crackles.

---

Sig had hoped to get down from the rails at the tram station near Moon’s can. The current state of the station, however, made that impossible.

The Main Five Pebbles Railway Station had once resembled a palace more than a tram stop – one of Moon’s and Pebbles’ city councils’ greatest architectural accomplishments aside from, well, Moon and Pebbles themselves. The roof and floor had once been made entirely of reinforced crystal glass supported by a web of thin steel wires stretched between the pillars. Those wires used to be masterfully tied and intertwined to create a great map of the entire area surrounding the cities of Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon. The wires supporting the roof were a different matter – they were composed of a special material that polarized light. They used to be arranged in such a way that they cast a masterfully calculated shadow on the station’s floor. After sunlight passed through the ceiling and landed on the floor, the light would form a three-dimensional map of the surrounding area below the station when viewed from inside. As the sun rose and fell, the refracted lightmap would shift, showing a timelapse of how the area had changed from the beginning of Moon’s construction up to the time of the station’s creation. Every day, tourists would flock in from all around the world at dawn just to admire the station and see how it changed, and then leave en masse as the sun fell.

That station was no longer there. What Sig was looking at right now was ten metal rails, all torn at a radius from their past point of intersection, and a monstrous, factory-sized tangle of metal wires far below them, on the ground. The glass, once the station’s building material, had been long washed away and ground up to dust by the periodic rain. The steel wires were being eaten by rot, courtesy of Five Pebbles’ little experiment gone wrong.

The whole station had been grounded and unmade.

The rot was the most likely perpetrator for the collapse – aside from the fact that it was currently devouring the station’s remains, it had most likely been attracted by the metal pillars that composed the station. Stone and concrete were indigestible for the rot, but eating metal was part of its nature.

Which raised a problem.

[LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE – No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: Any idea how I’m getting down from here

SRS: Didn’t you give yourself grappling hooks specifically for this kind of situation?

NSH: Those are for me

NSH: How is Redward getting down???

SRS: You seriously intend to take him with you.

NSH: YEAH DUH

NSH: No way I’m leaving him up here

NSH: He can’t get down here on his own

NSH: Red lizards can’t stick to walls

SRS: You could get down on your own

SRS: He’s been managing just fine before you met him

NSH: HE WAS LONELY

REDWARD: :<

NSH: And now I can’t take him with me

NSH: Because of some stupid rail???

NSH: This is bullshit

SRS: You made friends with an animal, and now it’s biting you in the ass.

NSH: Wait

NSH: THATS IT

NSH: REDWARD

REDWARD: :?

NSH: BITE ME IN THE ASS

SRS: ?????

[No Significant Harassment has terminated the connection.]

“You holding on alright?” Sig shouted.

Both of Sig’s hands were occupied with his grapples that attached him to the pillar which held up the rail, and he was using a lot of his core’s power to let the grapples’ G-field stick them to the wall. Not enough to attach them completely, but enough to let him and Redward slowly slide down the pillar.

As for Redward, he was hanging off of Sig, holding both of Sig’s legs in his teeth.

Redward gave a crackle, which Sig took as a yes.

“Hang tight, but not too tight! I like my legs!”

The worst thing about this travel method was his grapples’ horrible scraping against the rail. It’s a good thing Sig made them out of a reinforced material – otherwise, by the time they got down, the grapple tips would be ground to dust.

“Okay, don’t move too much, we’ll be right – right – oh fuck.”

A squidcada drew close, and started to hover near them.

It looked at Sig, whose upper and lower limbs were busy hanging onto the pillar and holding Redward up, respectively.

It looked at Redward, whose jaw was busy hanging onto Sig for dear life.

And then, another squidcada arrived.

“Uh, h-hey there!” Sig said, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “H-how’s your day been? Family doing fine? Everybody survived last cycle?”

The bug’s wings buzzed louder, with more anger. A third squidcada joined the group. Sig cringed.

“I’m taking that as a no? G-Gee, that sucks, man! Who was it? Your aunt? Brother? My condolences, really, though I’m sure they’re… fine… now…”

Sig trailed off as a fourth squidcada joined the group, and he recognized that one immediately.

It was one of those he fed to Redward the cycle before.

The bugs looked at him with a rage in their eyes that one could never expect from such round creatures, and a moment later, Sig felt a blunt object ram into him with great force. He flew to the left with a cry, and then to the right, hanging from his grapples like a child on a swing.

“Fuck! I’m sorry, okay? Not my fault you make great lizard food!”

The lizard food seemed to consider it his fault, though, and struck him again.

“Argh!” Sig shouted at the bugs. “You’re just being dicks! You can’t eat us, we can’t harm you, hell, you aren’t even able to knock us down from here!”

Another squidcada hit him, this time from the left. Then came another. Redward let out an agitated crackle. Those snacks were mocking him, and he couldn’t even try to grab them with his tongue if he didn’t want to fall into the abyss below. Frustrated, he bit down on Sig’s legs a little harder.

“Ow! Redward, calm down! They can’t hurt us! Keep your calm! They’ll win if they get you mad! Don’t give them the satisfaction, you hear? We must accept this fate with pride! For what is true victory, if not unwavering endurance of the enemy’s attacks?”

Eating lunch, Redward thought. Not getting harassed by it.

“It’s okay! We’ll be down in no time! Then you can eat them! We’ll show them, Redward, you see! We will display our warrior’s spirit and we shall strike them down as soon as we slide down the pillar! And it will be soon, for we shall finish our descent…” After a few quick calculations, “a little before nightfall!”

A very loud crackle came from below.

“Hey, it sucks, I get it, but at least we’re not in danger!”

---

Back when the ancients dominated the earth, philosophers from all over the continent preferred to think of the ecosystem as a single creature, and of all its species as organs. Of course, the ancients who subscribed to this theory also believed their own race to be the organism’s sentient brain. Several iterators thought fondly of this philosophy too, although they did not think the ancients to be above any other part of the ecosystem, their massive impact on it notwithstanding.

And now that Sig thought about it, the ecosystem must have been a sentient creature all along, though with some other entity functioning as its brain.

Because only a sentient entity could hear “at least we’re not in danger” and take it as a challenge.

The moment Sig said that, he noticed a shadow passing over the pillar he was sliding down, and heard the puffing sound of gas leaking out from above him, and in that very instant his head was filled with “oh fuck oh shit.”

A vulture was descending from the skies. It was headed right for them.

To say that the beast was massive was an understatement – just like Redward, its head was big enough to bite Sig’s torso in half. But unlike Redward, its head was very small compared to the rest of its body. Its wingspan was twice the lizard’s length, and its massive body could crush Sig like an egg if it decided to land on him. It was semi-organic, as shown by the jet boosters keeping it afloat, and the artificial bone mask it wore on its head.

Startled, the squidcadas ramming into them flew away – good riddance – and for a second, Sig hoped that maybe, just maybe the vulture would follow the bugs and leave him and Redward alone – but the bird had no such plans. Its eyes remained centered on Sig.

Redward hissed. Normally, he would have been able to bite the vulture’s wings right off and devour it in peace, but right now his jaw was busy holding onto Sig for dear life.

The vulture started to hover near them, extending its head towards Sig. Its neck muscles began to shake – a telltale sign that it was about to bite.

Just before it sank its beak into Sig, Redward made his move. He let go of Sig’s legs, and shot his long, sticky tongue at the bird, which lost its balance. The lizard’s weight yanked the vulture down, and it started to plummet at an alarmingly high speed – along with the lizard.

“Redward!” Sig shouted. Without the lizard dangling off of him, his grapples stopped sliding down the wall, and he hung down from it, forced to watch the vulture.

The bird shook itself off and increased its gas emission to account for the lizard’s weight. It could barely keep itself afloat, but it did.

The vulture looked down at Redward. Its eyes fixed on his tongue, which was the only thing keeping the lizard attached. The bird’s neck began to shake again, preparing to take a bite.

But before it could do that, its head was yanked back by Sig’s grapple.

“Not for you!” Sig shouted. He could move freely after Redward got off his arse, so he used one of his grapples to pull the vulture’s head towards himself. “Gotcha!”

And then he pulled a little too hard, causing the vulture’s mask to fly right into Sig’s hand. The unmasked bird froze in the air and stared at him.

“Um… You look better without it?”

It was personal now. The vulture forgot all about the lizard hanging dangling from its stomach, and soared towards Sig. Its beak went for Sig, right for the head. He dodged at the last second, unreeling his grapple wire to fall low enough for the vulture to miss.

“Hey, I get that these masks are really important-”

The vulture shrieked, and took another swing at him. He ducked down again.

“-in your primitive bird society-”

It tried to attack lower this time, so Sig reeled it in, dodging up.

“-but you’ve really gotta stop hiding your true self! You’re much more beautiful this way!”

The vulture shrieked, dazed from banging his beak on a metal pillar.

Sig knew he couldn’t keep this up – as long as he stayed on the pillar, he’d be easy pickings.

So he jumped.

The vulture watched Sig push himself off the pillar and leap into the abyss – and it gave chase. The bird’s eyes were locked onto Sig as he fell, and it dove after the iterator.

Sig, falling behind the bird, put the vulture’s mask on – just to spite it – before reaching out towards the bird and taking aim.

It was normally difficult to hit a moving target – but despite both of them falling to Sig’s death, the vulture was barely moving relative to Sig. As such, when the iterator shot his grapple, it landed right between the bird’s eyes.

“You want me? Fine! Here I come!” Sig shouted, and pulled.

He went flying towards the vulture with his grapple reeling in, and closed in on its head in seconds. Right as the bird was about to bite him, he put a hand on its head and pushed himself away.

The vulture gave out a screech and turned its head after Sig, who shot his grapples towards the bird’s body this time. He landed on its back and latched onto it.

The bird’s head dashed towards him, and Sig covered his head with his hand. The bird’s beak clamped itself painfully around his arm. The bird tugged on Sig, but nothing happened.

The iterator smirked. His core was giving off overheat warnings, but he ignored them. He was not letting go of his grapples right now, when victory was so close.

He looked the bird dead in the eyes, and pointed up with his other hand. When the bird had dived to get him, Redward was still attached to it with his tongue, and flew behind it all the way.

That was, until Sig had distracted the bird long enough for it to slow down, and for Redward to catch up to it, and clamp its jaws around the vulture’s neck, biting it clean off.

“Good boy!” Sig shouted, grappled the lizard, and pulled him into a hug. He celebrated for two seconds with his huge lizard friend, before remembering that he was now riding the carcass of a giant bird, which was sTILL IN FREE FALL FUCK FUCK FUCK-

Sig let go of Redward – and grappled down the vulture’s body, towards the gas hatch on its stomach. He grabbed the metal lid, attempting to twist it open, but he couldn’t get a good grip on the greasy metal handle.

“Dammit, if only I had some tool… Redward!”

He grappled the lizard towards himself, and put his jaw around the handle. “Bite!” He ordered. The lizard did, catching a solid grip on the lid, and Sig twisted its head.

The lid popped off, and an explosion of pressurized gas blasted both of them away. Thinking quick, Sig grappled the bird, and Redward used his tongue to grapple Sig. The open gas chamber roared with reactive gas, which blasted downwards, washing over Sig and Redward, and slowing the bird down.

Sig shut his eyes, dangling off of the leaking corpse, and bracing for impact with the ground…

...only to feel his feet gently land on it, as the stream gas slowed them dawn to nil speed right before impact. He stood there for a few moments, dumbfounded.

He was shaken off by Redward’s tongue, which wrapped around his torso and pulled him towards the lizard, right before the heavy bird corpse hit the ground in the place he just stood. The sudden pull knocked Sig to the ground, on which he continued laying for a few good moments.

Then, a chuckle escaped him. It grew into a giggle, and before long, Sig was laughing on the ground, while Redward licked his face. At that point, however, Sig didn’t care that he was being covered with lizard saliva, on top of the layer of gas stains covering his body.

He was finally on the ground. No can, no rail, no BS ancient-made landscape far above the clouds, he was in the world, and it would all be downhill from there.

He laughed one last time, and pulled himself up to a stand. He pat Redward’s head, and whispered a few more “good boy’s” to him.

“Alright, where to now? We’re in Moon’s area, where do we explore first?”

The ground rumbled, and Sig remembered what time it was.

“Shelter,” he decided. “Shelter. Definitely shelter.]

[LIVE BROADCAST] – PRIVATE No Significant Harassment, Seven Red Suns

NSH: SHELTER

NSH: GIVE ME SHELTER

NSH: WHERE ARE SHELTERS AROUND HERE

SRS: I don’t know.

NSH: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW

SRS: Weak signal. No overseers. Never scouted this area.

SRS: The rail pillar is acting like an antenna. Once you walk away, I’ll lose you entirely.

SRS: Good luck, soldier.

NSH: SOME HELP YOU ARE

“FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK” Sig shouted, running as the rain grew stronger and stronger. “REDWARD LOOK FOR SHELTERS. FUCK. PIECE OF SHIT. FUCK.”

Droplets hit his head and trickled over his eyes, obscuring his vision greatly. Despite that, as he ran, he tried to scan his surroundings for shelters. He scanned transport pipes’ markings for the designated “shelter” symbol

Not here… Not this one… There! It was across an open field, next to a pole with a large skull attached to it.

“Come on, Redward!” He shouted. The rain roared and poured in waves, each stronger than the previous one, each more likely to knock him off his feet. One did manage it, but Redward pulled him up, and saddled him on his back.

The lizard ran for it, and right as Sig felt like the pressure from the rain was about to crush his torso, he felt himself pushed through a transport pipe, and land butt first on the cold, metal floor of a flood shelter, with Redward landing right next to him. The water hatch shut right after them.

All went quiet, aside from the distant roar of rain, and the quiet sound of the two of them panting.

“Thanks,” Sig said. “For backing me up.”

Redward gave a quiet crackle, and both of them fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

Scavenger (species)

Semi-intelligent creatures with the most developed brains out of any non-civilized species. They have four limbs with opposable thumbs and wear masks that display their social status. The scavengers were designed for want of an easily trainable workforce for miscellaneous manual tasks that require lesser intelligence. As such, they do not vary in form as the lizards do - but what they lack in variety, they make up for in unity. Groups of scavengers can be sent to fulfill non-complicated tasks, and they will coordinate to complete them on a level second only to orange lizards. They can be communicated with through body language and can be bribed with pearls which they instinctively attempt to trade for supply drops from vultures.

After the mass ascension, many iterators still use scavenger drops for miscellaneous maintenance. After all, they're the closest thing we have to an intelligent outdoor species.

-From "The common encyclopedia"

***

“Good morning, surface!” Sig shouted, peeking his head out of the bunker’s pipe.

Immediately, twenty spears pointed at him.

Sig blinked twice, looked left, looked right, and dived back into the shelter.

“Redward, help, there’s a scavenger outpost and we just slept right under it. You got a plan for this?”

Redward perked up at the word “scavenger”. It was time for breakfast. He immediately dived for the exit pipe. Sig grabbed Redward’s tail to stop him, but Redward ended up pulling him out of the shelter and out into the open. The momentum of Redward exiting the pipe flung him up into the air and knocked the air out of his lungs as he landed flat on his back.

He turned his head towards the noises of spears thrown and saw Redward grabbing a scavenger in his enormous jaws - killing it on the spot - and dragging it to a nearby shelter. Primitive spears flew after him, but none hit the lizard.

Silence followed, and the scavs’ eyes focused on Sig. The iterator slowly got up on his feet, with his hands raised, and looked around.

Every spear in the scavenger outpost was pointed at him.

“So, uh,” Sig started, “I’m sorry about his bad manners,”

Deafening silence.

“And listen, we don’t want to stick around, so if you don’t mind, I’ll, uh, I’ll be going? And taking the lizard with me?”

None of the scavs gave any indication of understanding. Sig slowly took a step away.

Right then, Redward burst from under the ground, having presumably ripped his prey apart, and darted towards another scav.

The lizard became the new center of the scavs’ attention, and Sig took the opportunity to bolt. The scavengers were so distracted by the red menace, that none of them paid attention to his escape.

However, just as Sig was about to leave for good, he heard an unusually loud crackle. He turned around to see Redward with another scav in his mouth.

That’s not what caught his attention, though – it was the fact that Redward was limping.

One of the scavs managed to land a spear in the lizard’s thigh, impairing his movement enough for the others to get out of the lizard’s range and start aiming their projectiles too. Another spear hit the lizard – this one with a makeshift attached to it, blowing Redward’s side wide open.

“Redward!” Sig shouted and ran back into the fray. He was not leaving the lizard there, and those filthy scavs would be getting a piece of his mind.

Halfway to his reptile friend, Sig was hit by an explosive and died on the spot.

---

“ffffFUCK!” Sig screamed first thing in the morning, right as the cycle reincarnated him and Redward back under the scavenger toll. “Dammit all to the void sea!”

Redward crackled in agreement.

“We just got killed by scavs! Fucking scavs, Redward! And we’re just supposed to accept that?”

The lizard supported Sig’s outrage with a rebellious crackle. They would not settle for this.

“Listen up, Redward! I have a plan! We go up there, and we kill every single one of them for this affront. We do not split up, I ride on your back, and if you run fast enough, we can dodge their spears. Got that? Great, let’s go!”

Now with a solid plan, Sig and Redward sprouted out of the bunker. Immediately, Sig ran east while Redward ran west.

Redward grabbed the first scav he saw and gave it a fatal bite, before throwing it to the side and spitting a round of pellets at another one. A third one threw a spear at him, but he turned to face it in time for the projectile to bounce off his armored skull harmlessly. The lizard was in its element.

On the other side, Sig was fighting for his fucking life. He barely dodged one scav’s cherrybomb and spun around to see another scav throwing a spear at Redward. Sig shot his grapple at the spear and started reeling it in. The centrifugal force amplified the initial throw’s momentum, landing the spear right in another scav’s skull. It also put Sig out of balance, knocking him down to the ground and out of the way of another explosive aimed at his face. He scrambled to get to all fours and began running in a straight line to avoid the barrage of projectiles aimed to take advantage of his stagger.

Running for his dear life, Sig noticed Redward absolutely massacring a wave of scavs ahead of him and got an idea. He shot both grapples at the lizard and started to reel himself in to reunite with his friend. He rushed at a breakneck speed, his knees sliding through the mud, to hopefully get on Redward’s back and get the hell away from there.

Redward, however, misidentified his grapples as a threat and spun around to bite whatever was attached to him, pulling Sig into a drift, and knocking him over again. Another explosive splattered on Redward’s skull, and the lizard promptly forgot about the iterator tethered to it, chasing after the new offender and pulling poor Sig with him.

“Ow- Red- fuck- pbbbbt- sssslow down!” Sig screamed, now being dragged face-down through the ground.

Redward re-focused on the thing clinging to him with wires. It was covered in mud, so probably another scav. He dived towards it, and – ignoring its protests – grabbed it in his jaws, dived into the nearest open shelter, and stuffed the scav inside.

Satisfied with another prey stored, Redward emerged back onto the surface, and looked around, his eyes scanning for Sig and wait a minute.

The lizard dove back into the shelter, pulled Sig out, threw him to the ground, and locked its eyes on another scav.

The target threw a spear towards the lizard, which dodged to the side. The spear hit Sig at an angle, piercing his side and pinning him to the ground.

“HEY!” Sig shouted. “I’m stuck here! Maybe give me a hand?”

The lizard paid him no attention, fully immersed in its scav-chasing frenzy. It got yet another one, and threw it to the side, not even bothering to stuff it in a den.

Twice as many projectiles were flying toward Redward now – since Sig was pinned and not considered a threat. And by sheer probability, one explosive had finally hit the lizard’s body. The blast knocked Redward senseless – even if it was for a fraction of a moment, it was still enough. The immobile lizard was struck with one, two, then three spears.

“REDWARD!” Sig shouted.

The lizard crackled bloody murder at the scavs, most of which flinched, but kept the barrage coming. More and more spears started to hit the lizard, who was moving slower and slower, overwhelmed by the attackers’ sheer numbers.

The next spear was the last straw. Sig had to watch Redward flop onto the ground one last time, and not long after, he himself was struck fatally by an explosive to the core.

---

Sig was woken up by the clanging of limbs on metal. He opened his eyes and jumped at the sight of two scavs, backed against the wall of the shelter he and Redward had regenerated in.

He looked at the scavs, and the scavs looked at him. They started pointing at him and waving their hands around, and Sig couldn’t help but laugh.

They must have entered this shelter at the end of the last cycle, not knowing that it was the one Sig and Redward had last slept in. Scavengers were perfect shots with spears and cherry bombs, but there were neither in the shelter, so all they knew was “get away and gesticulate”.

They were probably trying to call for aid using their body language. Scavs had the most developed communication system of all wildlife, besides the ancients, of course. They could convey all sorts of complex messages to each other just by moving their hands around.

Too bad Sig hadn’t bothered to download any of it, so he just laughed at them waving their hands.

His voice woke Redward up, who quickly noticed the scavs. Still not quite shaken out of yesterday’s murder frenzy, he rushed to the scavs and bit their necks clean off.

“Ew,” Sig said, as some of the blood splattered on his leg.

Redward crackled something along the lines of ‘Don’t like it? more for me, then,’ and got to chewing his unlucky prey.

“Okay, so what the hell was that back then?” Sig finally asked, remembering the events of yesterday. “I told you not to go off on your own! And then I got hit, and then you got hit, and then I got hit again, and it all went to fuck!”

Redward slapped Sig with his tail, his mouth too full to crackle back a retort.

“Ow. I’m serious here! We can’t take those scavs alone. No way. There's too many of them! We’ll get torn apart! We need a plan, and I need you to follow it.”

Redward crackled a reluctant ‘fine’ and got to devouring the first scav’s head.

“Waitwaitwait,” Sig stopped him, “I just got an idea.” He reached for the severed head, shuddering in disgust.

Redward hissed and gave his hand a warning bite.

“I’m not taking your meal!” Sig barked. “I just want this.”

He took both scavs’ masks. “There. Happy? You can eat now.” The lizard complied.

“I thought of something, but it can’t be that easy…”

---

“It’s that easy,” Sig said in disbelief.

He and Redward were casually walking out of the scavenger outpost wearing the deceased scavs’ masks. Not a single scavenger paid any attention to them. A fucking lizard was glossed over because it had a scav’s mask on.

Redward threw the scavs murderous looks as he passed them.

“Don’t,” Sig warned. “You already ate.”

‘Not enough,’ the lizard seemed to think.

They were right by the exit when one of the scavs walked up to them. They were fully geared, with explosive spears strapped to their back and possibly the most horned mask out of the entire outpost. The scav gave them a few gestures which probably meant something important.

“Uhh sure, buddy, whatever you say,” Sig said, nodding in understanding.

The scavenger got more agitated, and most of its gestures pointed toward Sig, Redward, and a smaller group of similarly geared-up scavs. A hunting party, perhaps?

“Uh… me, no, hunt. Me, already ate?” Sig said, gesturing to himself, his mouth, and praying that the scav would take the hint.

The scav just pointed his spear toward Sig.

“WOAH, okay, should have started with that, we’re coming,” Sig said, making his way to the other armed scavengers. Redward gave the presumed leader a fuming crackle, but followed Sig to the hunting party.

Sig grabbed two loose spears off the ground - strapping one to his back and leaving the other in his hands – and with that, the party was off.

The party was headed east towards the old farm arrays, which was good since that was more or less the way to Moon’s can. Sig and Redward could just wait for when the scavs would be slowed down by the prey they’d be carrying on the way back, but there was one problem with that: they weren’t hunting anything.

Squidcadas and firebugs were passed without receiving a drop of attention. The smallest of centipedes were not even approached. Lizards were attacked, but only in self-defense – one or two warning spears to the armored head was all it took to scare them off, and those that were speared in a vital spot and died had their corpses unceremoniously left behind.

When Sig had truly started to worry was when their party started joining up with other, larger groups of hunting scavs. The group had passed through several outposts, each larger than the first one, and was getting more and more populous each moment. It was getting late, and if they didn’t get to where they were going soon, they’d be forced to share a shelter with all those scavs. That, or die and get reset to last cycle.

Redward was snarling left and right, getting cross looks from other scavs, and Sig couldn’t help but think about how long it would be until the lizard would lose its patience and start wreaking havoc on the scavengers.

“Not yet, please not yet,” Sig tried to soothe. “Wait until they’re distracted. They must be expecting a ruckus with all these spears and warriors. Just wait a bit.”

They didn’t have to wait long.

The scavs at the party’s front suddenly clanked their spears on the ground, getting everyone’s attention, and started pointing and waving up ahead. Sig squinted, followed their gaze, and saw the true target of the expedition.

It looked like a scav from far away, but a second look revealed it to be a… slugcat? With a scavenger mask? And not just a scavenger mask – this was probably the most decorated one they’d seen so far. Was it some sort of warlord?

Must have been a warlord of a rival tribe, because all scavengers in Sig’s party immediately started to chuck spears at it. A dozen – no, dozens of broken-off rebar chunks went flying towards the creature.

Just before the slugcat could be grazed, it let out an explosion. The underside of its tail literally blew itself open and sent the creature flying high into the sky and toward the scavenger party. All scavs either took aim at the sky or darted left and right for cover.

“Now’s our chance! We bolt, Redward – huh?” Sig looked at where Redward previously was, but – oh for fuck’s sake not again.

The lizard had zoomed to where the scug would land, and opened its mouth wide. It shot its tongue at the scug to grab it from mid-air and pull it into its mouth.

The slugcat could probably dodge with another explosion. Instead, it grabbed the lizard by the tongue. As soon as Redward started reeling it in, it grabbed one of the spears flung at it from mid-air and used the combined momentum of gravity and Redward’s tongue to bury the spear in the lizard’s skull.

Dead on the spot.

“FUCKING IDIOT!” Sig screamed hysterically. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!”

The scavs tried to assault the slugcat again. It ducked under the barrage of spears, most of which hit other scavs due to how crowded the pack was. The scug zoomed forward to the first scav it could find, and bit into its throat. Dropping the corpse, it darted between two that were trying to flee and stunned them both with an explosion. It picked up a nearby spear, jumped, spun around, and used it to pierce them both.

It then set its eyes on Sig.

He didn’t even have time to say “fuck” one last time. It darted towards him and attacked. It stabbed him three times with the same spear and left him to bleed out in all the chaos.

---

Sig stretched in the shelter, his headache reaching an all-time high from all the consecutive deaths and re-births. Redward seemed to share the condition, from all the crackles he was letting out.

Sig didn’t feel like leaving the shelter right away. They tried brute force, didn’t work. They tried to be sneaky, didn’t work. Soon, they’d try another strategy. Or one of the previous strategies again. Over and over.

Sig would rather come up with something else than rush out and be stuck dying under a scav toll until his body starts to evolve.

The daily scavenger noises started to ring out above them – clanking of spears, pearls, and probably a lot of hand-waving went on above them as Sig and Redward recovered from the last cycles’ misfortunes.

Sig wanted to get mad at Redward. Scold him again. They had the perfect distraction, an opportunity to escape, and the lizard had thrown it away for want of another kill.

But he couldn’t really blame him, could he?

Redward was a red lizard. An apex predator, maybe, but an animal still. He hadn’t evolved to hide or plan – only to seek, kill, then seek again. That had worked for him well so far until he received the baggage that was a companion, and prey that simply outnumbered him.

And besides, now Sig knew a little better about what Suns had to deal with on a daily basis. It’d be hypocritical for him to scold the lizard for being dumb as hell to Sig unless he himself decided to stop being dumb as hell to Suns. And that wasn’t happening any time soon.

His musings were interrupted by agitated noise from above. Faster clanking, spears being thrown, and eventually…

Explosions.

There were too many of them to have come from cherry bombs. The scug had gotten this far in the span of a cycle.

Redward growled, but Sig put his hand on the exit hatch.

“Stay calm,” he said. “We can come out once it finishes off all the scavs. Just wait a bit.”

And wait they did. It didn’t take long for the blast noises to cease.

“I’ll go first. Okay?”

Redward bit his forearm – not hard enough to injure, but hard enough to hurt.

“I know, I know, I promise we’ll finish this now. I’m going.”

Sig went through the shelter’s exit hatch, and emerged onto the surface. He immediately reached for the shelter’s controls and shut it from the outside. Annoyed lizard noises came from below as Redward realized he couldn’t get out. Sig quietly apologized. They had one shot at an easy escape, and he couldn’t risk fucking it up again.

Sig looked around. Scav corpses all around. Dead, dead, dead. The silence was deafening. He was beginning to hope that the explosive scug was gone, until he turned around and looked up.

“Um, hi,” Sig said, immediately tensing up. The scug just stared.

“You’re not offended about last cycle… are you?” Sig asked cautiously. Another moment of silence followed.

Why am I asking if it’s the one getting offended? I’m the one who got killed, Sig realized, but didn’t dare say it out loud.

Instead, he looked at the mountain of scavenger corpses piled up behind him. “You really hate those guys, don’t you?”

The scug lowered its head and clutched its spear more tightly.

“That’s fine, not a big fan of them either,” Sig said hastily.

“Listen, I really don’t have any beef with you, and it looks like you don’t either, so… can we just part ways? Pretend we never met?”

The slugcat looked at him some more, considering. Then it scoffed, turned around, and left with a blast.

Sig let out a huge sigh of relief. He was alive. He was okay. He didn’t get impaled, or bitten, or blown up, or torn apart, or… yeah. He was okay.

He leaned down and opened the shelter. Immediately, a furious Redward sprung out snarling. He started sniffing and looking around in search of the slugcat. It’s not like he couldn’t smell the smokey explosive residue – there was just too much of it to track the slugcat down. The lizard looked at Sig, mad beyond measure.

“The shelter jammed,” Sig lied. “I got it open as soon as I could. Sorry.”

Bullshit, Redward snarled and bit Sig in the leg.

“Hey- whohOA!” Sig shouted as the lizard started to drag him across the ground in circles.

“I’m sorry, alright? I lied! I’m sorry! Let me go! I won’t do it again! Chew on a scav or something, those are already dead!”

---

Five Pebbles stood in his puppet’s chamber, busy multitasking. He was currently viewing seventeen overseer feeds, all showing different parts of his can, and all of his attention was focused on a single task: micromanaging the creatures inside his body in an attempt to limit and slow down the spread of rot throughout his can.

Some rot cysts were mobile and followed sound cues. Those he could lure away to his cooling pipes and flush out of his can. Unfortunately for him, most of the rot was immobile and clung to his walls.

Sooner or later, it would consume him whole.

Right now, he was fighting to make it later.

The entrance to his chamber gave him a signal, and he noticed a burgund slugcat walk in. He minimized two overseer feeds to free up enough computational power for conversation.

“Artemis,” he said. “What were you up to today?”

This was a rhetorical question – whenever the scug wasn’t working on one of his commissions, it was running around in the wild and murdering scavengers.

The slugcat ignored him and tossed its mask to the floor.

“This chamber was sterile once,” Pebbles grumbled. The slugcat sat down and started to clean itself on the fur-covered tiles.

“I’ll have another task for you next cycle,” the iterator said. “There’s a single rot lump in my southwest region that needs to be disposed of. You know the safety precautions; I’ll provide the optimal tools. With the help of those combined with your unique… capabilities, that part of me should remain healthy for a while longer.”

Artemis registered Pebble’s request, and mentally filed it for tomorrow. For today, it yawned and laid down on the floor of Pebbles’ chamber.

Five Pebbles would never publicly admit to having enjoyed the company of an animal in his chamber.

But he made no move to remove her either.

Chapter Text

Rot (Disease, Species)

A living lump of organic matter born from errors in genetic engineering, particularly from failed attempts at artificial evolution and the taboo transcendence of living creatures.

The rot’s form varies based on the creature it originated from. Rot that grows on smaller creatures will generally not detach from its host, while rot born by operations on leviathans and failed self-operations of very foolish iterators will often gain the ability to detach from its host and look for more matter to devour. One visual appearance is consistent across all rot instances: a mess of tentacles, either sprouting from a host or detached from one, with a mobile body.

Rot originates, in simple terms, from an attempt to rebuild a creature by creating another creature, and embedding it with instructions on how to de- and re-construct the target creature, cell by cell, with one planned change, such as removing an iterator taboo. If proper kill switches are not installed correctly, the rot will grow over its host without end, eventually taking over its body. It will then attempt to devour and re-construct other matter, using its tentacles to pull it into its main body and devour it.

From “The Common Encyclopedia”

***

“Mmmmf, theshe are sho good, Redwarhd, you’re really mishing out,” Sig said with his mouth full.

Redward crackled something that probably meant: Grass eater. Weak little stomach can’t digest real prey. I’m not forcing myself to eat fruit.

“Those aren’t fruit!” Sig protested. “They may look like a blue fruit, but they’re actually the cocoons of hibernating stunbugs. They’re dangled off of cliffs to avoid creatures like slugcats picking them up.” He took a break for another bite, swallowed it, and said, “Which is what I would say if I was Seven Red Nerds! Om nom tasty fruit.”
You’re one hell of a hungry scug, Redward crackled.

Sig choked on his food, almost spitting it out. He managed to push it all down before saying, “I’m not a fucking scug! What the hell gave you that idea?”

The way you walk. The ears.

“Those are my antennae! They’re made of fucking metal! Can you really not spot the difference?”

Not the metal ones . I mean your ears.

“I don’t even have ears, can you even see right? And if I was a scug, I definitely wouldn’t be grappling around everywhere, would I?
Scug with dangly bits.

Having escaping the scavenger outpost, Sig and Redward had played it safe. They really didn’t want to wake back up at the shelter, so the theme of the day was “not dying”. Redward had already gone ham on the free scavenger meal back at the outpost, which left Sig to chew on the more digestible members of the ecosystem.

“Speaking of scugs, which is not what I am,” Sig said, “what the hell was that back there? Are exploding slugcats something we have to worry about back there? Some kind of update to the ecosystem?”

First one I’ve seen, Redward crackled. They usually just walk into my mouth.

“Well I hope no one’s making any more of them,” Sig said. “What nutcase would design something this dangerous?”

He sure was glad Suns wasn’t there to laugh at his hypocrisy.

“...Or did it just evolve like that? But it must have gone through hell of a lot of pain to evolve that much. We died so many times at that scav shelter, and we’ve barely changed!”

You got a lot more dangly, the lizard crackled.

“No, my scarf just unfurled more. And the grapples are getting a bit loose. I can still use them alright, but it’s harder to keep them fully reeled in. Whatever, I’ll repair it soon.”

They walked in silence some more.

“Oh look, there’s a shelter. You’ve eaten already, I just ate twelve blue fruits…” - And three metal parts, Redward added – “Shut up, they’re full of proteins. To sleep we go!”

***

“And there’s our next stop! The western entrance to the outskirts of the greater Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles Industrial District!” Sig exclaimed, pointing at a taunting mechanical construct before them. “Or so they called it back in the day. Currently it’s a door and it’s in our way.”

If that’s a door, I’m an eggbug, Redward crackled.

“How do you even know what a door is?”

Don’t think about it too hard.

“Fair enough. Come on, step in.”

Sig led Redward onto the crate and, after a little while, watched the outer gate close behind them. They were trapped inside a tall cylindrical chamber with two gates on the sides and a crate on the top and bottom. The top crate had some kind of hatch above it, and the bottom was full of radiators.

“The gate mechanisms are a bit different between districts, and I’m not quite sure how this one works… Hold up, is it supposed to do that?”

Sig looked under the crate he was standing on and noticed a set of radiators below him that were getting quite warm. Not only did he feel the heat from quite a height above it, he also saw it turn red hot.

“Redward? We may have a problem… Hey, Redward! Get up!”

The lizard was laying on the crate, basking in the heat without a single care for the noises around it and Sig, who was becoming more alarmed by the moment.

“GET UP! We’ve gotta get out of here! This isn’t a gate, it’s one of Pebbles’ cooling systems! We’ve gotta find a way out, orpblllblLBLBLBBLBLBBBTTTTT!”

A heavy shower of water splashed on Sig and Redward, knocking Sig off his feet. He stumbled backwards and splatted against the chamber’s wall. The water fell down onto the radiators, generating a lot of hot steam, which filled the chamber. After a few seconds, it all stopped, and the gate Sig was leaning on opened, causing Sig to fall flat on his back, dazed.

Idiot, Redward crackled, getting up and shaking the water off his scales and onto Sig. He then stepped out of the chamber on the other side.

***

“You should be more grateful, you know! I was convinced our lives were in danger!”

Stupid, Redward crackled. Afraid of a shower.

“Yeah, I didn’t know how the gates work in this district! I was sure it was going to flood us! And seriously, who even designs their gates like this? Does everyone have to get watered every time they come through a gate in Moon’s district? Are they all plants or something?”

This place used to be an industrial area before it was overgrown, see all this machinery? It required being kept super sterile back in the day. The gates would disinfect working creatures going in and out of the area so as not to bring in any foreign bacteria.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

A beat of silence.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? YOU’RE A FUCKING LIZARD!”

***

“Man, these outskirts are super easy to navigate,” Sig said. “No scavs, no wildlife worse than green or pink lizards, and the terrain has a lot of grappling points! Moving around feels so smooth here!”

Speak for yourself, Redward crackled.

“Fatty,” Sig bickered.

I can bite your head off.

“You’d have to catch me first.”

Is that a challenge?

“You know what? Bring it,” Sig said, and grappled the ceiling, shooting towards a nearby pipe.

Personnel pipes were curious devices. They were filled with really cool pseudoscience shit that the writer is too lazy to make up right now, bite me. As a result, unlike regular pipes created for transport of liquids and gasses, personnel pipes could safely and quickly move any creature from one end to the other – even when power for the rest of the facility was down.

The transportation wasn’t instantaneous – it took a couple of moments for the user to be transported. However, their nature allowed for two users to pass each other while moving through a single pipe in opposite directions.

A fact which Sig was currently abusing, moving back and forth through the same pipe, and going passing Redward every time.

“What’s wrong, lizard? Get-” "-over here, come on!-” “-I’m right here!-” “Come on, Red-” snap.

All was fine and dandy, until Redward pulled one over Sig by not going through the pipe this time. Instead, he waited for Sig to come back, and as soon as he did, shut his torso around his jaws.

“Haha, okay, you win, I underestimated you, you’re a very smart lizard. Put me down?”

You wish, Redward crackled.

“No, but seriously, please?”

Suffer.

“Redward, that’s not the way to Moon! Where are you going?”

That’s for me to know.

***

Pop!

As Redward was about to enter another pipe, he felt a small but loud shockwave hit his legs. He had accidentally stepped on a stunbug – a fist-sized creature with a mostly harmless but annoying defense mechanism. The dazed lizard fell to the ground, letting go of Sig.

“Haha, freedom!” The ex-captive shouted, getting up on his feet and running away.

Pop!

And in his hurry to get away he tripped on another.

Before he could get up again, he was hit by Redward’s long tongue – and started being dragged back towards the captivity of the lizard’s mouth.

“Oh no, not again!” Sig shouted, grabbing the stunbug and chucking it at Redward.

Pop!

As the lizard was dazed, its tongue let go of Sig, who hurried to get away.

Stupid sentient scug – I’ll get you for this! Redward crackled, snapping the stunbug in his jaws out of annoyance.

Pop!

Sig bent down in laughter as the bug’s shockwave forced the lizard’s jaw open and splayed it out on the ground.

He only laughed for a moment, though. He needed to get a headstart to keep his walking privileges.

***

Some more bickering and two karma gates later, Sig and Redward found themselves in a literal pile of garbage.

“Oh wow,” Sig said, “The ex-tenants made sure to leave the place in as bad a state as possible before they left, huh?”

Garbage, garbage, and some trash on top of garbage. The garbage wastes looked like a green-ish-brown-ish swamp would if someone took away all the trees and replaced the ground with trash. Mountains upon mountains of trash were interrupted only by lakes of trashy water and the occasional personnel pipe.

Let’s get out of here fast, I’m not eating anything in a place that smells like this, Redward crackled.

“So even a lizard’s got standards?” Sig’s question earned him a slap of the tail.

“But hey, at least the place has goofy fellas!” Sig said, walking up to a garbage worm. The worm looked like a rope with a tiny head that stuck out of the ground and whose length spanned around ten times Sig’s height. It waved and wobbled as it moved its head left and right to look out for threats with its huge, bulging-out glowy eyes.

“Such a funny little creature, they look so weird and wacky, such nice fellas they are!”

Redward heard a noise far off and crackled in warning. Sig turned to where the lizard was looking just in time to see a spear flying towards him, thrown by a stray scavenger far off in the distance.

Sig shouted in alarm and started to dodge – however, by some miracle, the spear did not hit him. Instead, it lodged itself in the garbage worm’s unlikely thin body.

All nearby garbage worms’ eyes turned red and all of them turned to face the scav. The scav realized its mistake and tried to get away, but it was too late. One of the worms wrapped its body around the scavenger’s waist and pulled it underground into its den. The ground around it shook for a few times and then stilled.

The worms’ eyes became white again.

“You’re right, Redward, let’s get out of here as soon as possible, please, please, PLEASE.”

***

“Bad garbage noodle… Stay away… Hey, that’s my spear! Give that- ugh, whatever, keep it… Wait, where’d you all go?”

The worms all buried themselves into the ground at the same time - and as Sig had quickly learned, when everyone around you starts to hide, you probably should too. It didn’t take him long to look around and notice what he was dealing with – and when he did, he froze.

In the distance, towering over them, was a walking abomination.

A black lump of moldy, misshaped orbs, each with a brown cross-shaped opening that made it look like an eye, sprouting a myriad of tentacles that made its walk look like an uncanny hover above the ground. The thing, not resembling any living being but certainly not dead either, used its tentacles to grab a nearby squidcada and shove it into its main body, into which it was sucked and digested.

“No,” Sig whispered, “no, no, no, no, no…”

The lizard tilted its head and crackled, What?

“Quiet!” Sig said, barely audible, “Don’t let it hear you, please, Redward, stay quiet just this once!”

Trying to keep his breath steady, Sig slowly crouched. The cyst was a good distance away, but he was not risking it.
They observed the cyst for a long while, waiting for it to move somewhere else, but it was picking apart a batfly colony – and it appeared it would not move anywhere until all of the little critters were done with.

“...shit, shit, can we please go another route? Please?” Sig whispered, in a pleading tone.

Redward looked up at the skies, and Sig followed his gaze. It was getting really cloudy. As if on cue, the ground shook - a sure signal of the upcoming rain. No time.

Sig took a moment to collect himself. In, out.

Then he motioned with one hand to move forward.

He and Redward started to approach the bat colony from the side. Right behind it was a personnel pipe that lead to a gate out of the garbage wastes. If they could just get through the pipe, they’d be out and safe.

The entire time they walked Sig observed the rot cyst warily. It seemed to ignore him slowly creeping towards it, and he made it to a trash heap right next to the bat colony, when…

Pop!

“Ow!”

Idiot!

“Fuck, my head hurts!”

We’ve got bigger problems to worry about!

The rot cyst’s “eyes” shook as it noticed them. It started to approach them in that uncanny linear float-walk, its tentacles covering all of the area under it and groping everything in a huge radius.

“Redward, the stunbug!” Sig shouted, still on the ground.

Right!

The lizard grabbed the bug, and before it could pop again, threw it towards the rot cyst, and… missed. The bug pop!ped on the ground harmlessly behind the rot cyst.

And the rot cyst stopped.

Sig, breaths quick, watched in wonder as the cyst turned back, and started to grope around for the noise it heard. It eventually found the stun bug, grabbed it with two tentacles and, completely unfazed by the pop! it gave off, absorbed it into its main body.

The rot cyst then stood there, its tentacles spreading out and grasping around for potential prey.

That’s when Sig and Redward both realized that the rot, despite sitting comfortably at the peak of the food chain, and despite being the sole reason why iterators – fucking iterators! - are even considered a part of the food chain below it, is fucking blind!

Sig took a careful step towards the exit pipe.

Then another.

The whole time, he and Redward were staring at the monstrosity praying that it stayed in place. Sig was sweating – and if lizards could, Redward would too.

It didn’t help their nerves that the ground was really shaking now and the first raindrops were beginning to fall. It took all of their willpower not to just rush towards the exit.

They reached the pipe just as the rain was beginning to get heavy. Despite his instincts screaming at him, Sig motioned Redward to stop. He pointed at the pipe, then at the rot. Redward understood.

Once we go through the pipe it will make a sound and alert the thing. That’s when we run for it.

Sig hopped inside and heard the “boop boop boop” of the personnel pipe transporting him to the gate, with Redward trailing right behind him. He shot out the other side, stumbled onto the ground and looked around. There was no shelter, shit. He ran onward and slammed against the wall of the gate. Behind him was Redward, who sprouted out of the gate a fraction of a moment before the rot cyst did,

“Please open please open please open please open please open-” Sig started to chant, not even caring about the rot monstrosity hearing him. It had sprouted out of the pipe and started to move towards the gate in its signature slow hover-crawl, its tangle of tentacles groping across the walls of the chamber and cutting off all ways of escape. It reached one tentacle out towards Redward, who was backed up against the wall of the chamber, and it grabbed the lizard’s-

Right before that happened, the outer gate shut, its heavy metal blocks slamming on the outstretched appendage and cutting it limp, causing it to fall on the ground near Redward. The gate’s mechanism sprouted to action, and showered Sig and Redward in a warm drizzle of trashy water, washing the amputated tentacle down the drain.

Both survivors sat on the metal grate, panting. For a good while, nothing could be heard other than the rain flooding everything outside their enclosed gate.

“H-hey,” Sig said, “I t-think… huff… we made it.”

Redward gave an affirmative crackle.

The sewage shower stopped, and the machinery around them began to move again.

“The gate’s other door is about to o-open,” Sig warned. “It’s probably raining real fucking hard out there. If there’s no gate right outside the shelter door,” Sig wheezed, “I’m diving into the v-void sea and kicking the late designer in the reproductive organs.”

I’m biting them off first, Redward countered.

The gate started to open, chunk by chunk, and the gaps between each chunk started sprouting water into their little gate chamber.

“Get ready,” Sig said, “it’s about to PBLLLLBLBLBLLBLLLTTTT!”

The gate opened fully, and their chamber was flooded in an instant. Sig was slammed against the wall, and when he came to his senses and opened his eyes, everything was water.

The chamber they were in was fully flooded. Sig quickly realized that he was not equipped with gills, and took in a full breath of water.

He started to cough, which only dwindled his air reserves further. He felt something grab his leg, but he was too busy drowning to pay attention to it. Fuck it, he thought, we had a good run, time to reset the cycle and try again.

And then the water around him was replaced by pseudoscience bullshit and the boop boop boop of a personnel pipe, and Sig was dragged through several pressure valves. He and Redward were spat out inside a shelter, which shut right after them. Sig’s foot rolled out of Redward’s mouth, and both of them lay there, Redward panting, and Sig spitting out water with a horrible, raspy cough, refueling his lungs with precious air. Neither of them had any strength left to move.

“Fucking hell… huff... thanks,” Sig managed to say, with the water mostly out of his system.

I’m not doing this a third time, Redward crackled. Learn to run.

“No fair… you have… more legs…”

They took another moment to recover before Sig remembered to ask one more thing.

“Did it… touch you?” He asked. “The rot…”

Shut up and let me sleep…

“This is important Reds, did the rot touch you?”

Don’t think so, the lizard crackled quietly. Why?

“You don’t wanna catch… the stuff they’re spreading…”

Aww, scared of a cold?

“If it touched you, we’re gonna have to reset… this whole cycle…”

Redward sluggishly got up, walked over to Sig, and dumped his whole body onto the iterator, pinning him to the floor.

You’re talking nonsense. No way I’m getting past that thing again. Now sleep.

Sig reluctantly agreed. There’s no way Redward would catch the rot from so little contact, so they were probably fine. Besides, the rot needed more than a single touch to spread to a new host. He’d done a lot of rot research before the procedure, just in case, so he knew rot from an iterator would not adapt to such a small host instantly.

Best not to dwell on it. Better take the dumb reptile’s advice and sleep.

Chapter Text

[PRIVATE] LOG – Looks to the Moon, No Significant Harassment

Season 298, Cycle 45

NSH: Sis?

BSM: What’s up, Sig?

NSH: Purely hypothetically

NSH: If you saw me inside your chamber

NSH: What would you do?

BSM: Tranquilize you on the spot, then find out which lunatic citizen of mine decided to dress up as an Iterator and break into my audience room

NSH: Hahaha no like

NSH: What if it was actually me

NSH: Like, if I was the first Iterator to ever transplant themselves into an autonomous mobile vessel

NSH: Wyd?

BSM: In that case

BSM: I’d float over and give you a big hug!

NSH: Awww

NSH: Well then

NSH: If that ever happens

NSH: I'll be looking forward to it!

---

“Redward?”

Yeah?

“You know any lizards that evolved fins?”

Eaten a few, why?

“Can you call one up to help us out?”

I can call some up for dinner, if you’re that hungry.

“Fucking amazing.”

The new cycle’s dawn had the dynamic duo standing on the shore of an enormous lake – though it might as well have been an ocean. It stretched out as far as Sig could see to the left, right, and ahead of them - which was about two grapple shots’ distance, given the amount of fog everywhere. Fucking amazing indeed.

“Alright, here’s the plan. Can you swim?”

You’re gonna ask me to carry you on my back, aren’t you?

“What? No! I’d never infringe on your predator’s dignity! Can you swim or not?”

Of course I can fucking swim.

“Great! Can you carry me on y-

You can grab on to my tail or kiss my ass.

“Sheesh, fine, princess murderfangs.”

Sig made his way to the lizard’s rear and knelt down low.

“We should be getting really close to Moon now, so the swim won’t be too long.”

Shut up and grab on. This is payback for the vulture incident.

“Oh, am I supposed to grab it with my teeth too?”

I’d like to see you try. Your jaw is weaker than a noodlefly leg.

The Iterator tightened his arms around the end of Redward’s massive tail. The lizard swung it up, left and right, testing Sig’s grip, and then darted into the water.

Suffice to say, the cruise was very comfortable.

For none of the parties involved.

***

HOLD TIGHTER, IDIOT, YOU’RE SLIDING OFF

“PBBLBLLBTURE ABLLBLVE US”

SPIT THAT WATER OUT I CAN’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU
*PFFT* “VULTURE ABOVE US REDWARD DO SOMETHING”

THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION? DIVE AND DROWN?

“OH FUCK IT CAUGHT MY LEG I’M BEING TAKEN UP”

I SAID HOLD TIGHT- FUCK IT’S LIFTING YOU

“IT’S OKAY IT’S OKAY I GRAPPLED YOU”

IT’S NOT FUCKING OKAY NOW IT’S LIFTING ME TOO

“REDWARD HELP WE ARE SO HIGH UP”

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP? YOU’RE THE SKY MANEUVER GUY

“OH RIGHT LEMME KICK IT IN THE EYE”

NOT AT THIS HEIGHT IDIOT, IF IT LETS GO OF YOU WE’RE GONNA- *Fweeeeeeooooo*

*SPLASH*

***

I’m never carrying you through water again.

“Yeah, I guess I should have just swam by myself…”

You could swim this whole time?

“I guess so? I’ve never tried, but I probably could. I factored in buoyancy when I was designing my body, so I know I can at least float.

So you could have just swam on your own instead of making me go through all this shit?

“Probably, but I never tried it, so that’s just in theory!”

Let’s put that theory to the test.

A loud *SPLASH* could be heard as Redward knocked Sig off the platform they had painstakingly managed to reach. More splashing followed, much to the lizard’s sadistic satisfaction, as he watched Sig flail around on the water’s surface, trying to make it back to dry land.

“Dry land” was a generous term for the structure they stood on. It was definitely man-made, it poked a good height above the water, and it had a convenient ladder up which hypothetical nautical predators would find hard to navigate. Curiously enough, it also had a personnel pipe, leading somewhere into the depths.

“But what the hell would this be for? Where does it even lead? Do we just go in and emerge somewhere underwater?”

One way to find out.

“Rock-paper-scissors on who goes to check it out?”

Challenging a quadruped to rock-paper-scissors is ableist as fuck.

“How’s it ableist? You’ve still got front paws with three claws each, you can make it work!”

Or how about I just keep throwing you into the water until you go and check?

“Or how about we just ignore it and swim on? I mean, it could be all sorts of dangerous!”

You can go on all the swims you want. I’ll make sure of that.

“...okay, alright, I’m going. Something something don’t piss on my gravestone.”

We get revived every morning, what the fuck is a gravestone?

Sig crouched near the pipe and boop boop booped inside. After a few seconds, he boop booped back up, with only his head peeking out.

“Hey, Redward? It’s safe, but uuuuh, you’re gonna want to see this. And really watch your step when you come out,” Sig said. He dove in, and the lizard followed.

*boop boop boop*

The pipe led to a spacious metal room, which was missing one very crucial element: the floor.

There was a walkway near the walls, but the center of the room just opened up to a wide and very deep pit, with a wide ladder leading into the depths.

“Now, Redward, if you’re like me right now, you might be thinking: what the fuck.”

Got it in one. What’s all this about?

“The ladder looks like it’s made to cover a lot of space, to be easily grabbed onto rather than climbed. You see those in areas meant to constantly be on low-grav. We seem to be in some sort of… underwater underground Iterator expansion module?”

Expansion module?

“Yeah, you often see those in situations where the higher-ups decided an Iterator needed more zettabytes or QIPS or a separate cooling module or whatever the fuck a cyberdeity might need.”

But why would they make one underground? Also, I’m not seeing any low-grav around here.

“The Ancients built a lot more advanced underground systems than this, trust me, so… maybe this one is meant to filter or manage the water from the lake, somehow? Moon never told me that she was built over a body of water, but fuck, I’ve heard of Iterators built under the sea for better cooling with only their habitable roofs sticking out so I’m willing to believe anything at this point. Anyway, point is: this means we’re close to Moon!”

You mentioned low gravity, though?

“Meh, we probably don’t feel it right now, since its effects are next to nothing on the outer edges of a structure, but it’ll get stronger as we get deeper… Good thing we don’t have to jump down, there’s a pipe that leads all the way there.”

Great. I’m not getting down the weird way again.

*boop boop boop*

“Nope. This is definitely not how this place is supposed to look like.”

Sig could instantly tell because all Iterator structures, despite each of them being custom-built for their environments, shared – among others – the following traits:

-Low-gravity environment or liquid filling that ensured freedom of motion for the memetic organisms inside

-Said memetic creatures, like neurons and inspectors, performing their daily tasks and literally carrying the iterator’s thoughts to different parts of their neural network

-Areas that contain liquid being STRICTLY SEPARATED from dry areas, with emergency response mechanisms in case of leaks

In this structure’s case, either the architects were all passive-aggressive scavbrains who deliberately ignored all of these guidelines, or something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Wrecked and chipped-away electronics. Wilted and torn-off memo-grass. The floor was flooded to waist height, for fuck’s sake. Only one thing was working in this place, and that was gravity – which really wasn’t a good sign for an Iterator-related structure.

“Whatever this module was for, Moon must have… she must have shut this segment off a long time ago, right? There’s no way that, you know…”

That things are really this bad with Moon.

Redward crackled sympathetically.

Sig looked around. They were at a crossroads connecting two wide corridors. His sense of direction had been good on the surface, but down here he had no idea where to go. His eyes skimmed over the damaged machinery on the walls, looking for something to point him in the right direction. He perked up as he found one such object.

“Hey, there’s a segmental control console here, and it looks undamaged! Well, not too badly damaged, at least. Here’s to hoping this thing has power…”

It didn’t. There was a kickstart input, though. Sig was lucky the Ancients put them in literally everything because of how cheap they were to include, regardless of whether the machine actually needed one or not.

“Redward, can you look around for a...”

There’s a few on the wall behind you.

“Great! Lemme just…”

Sig looked at the overgrown wall. Palm-sized insects were having a great time with the remains of memo-grass that had since exploded into an unorganized mess of greenery.

“Ewwww…”

For the record, I don’t have opposable thumbs.

“Lucky bastard.”

Sig hovered his arm above a centipede of his choice. Just large enough to grab the middle, just too small to have the maneuverability to touch him with either end. ‘Perfect’ was too generous of a word, because he still had to touch this thing, but good enough.

Sig slowly moved his arm above the insect and, with a quick motion, snatched it. He felt its little legs trying to tickle his hand, and he squeezed it harder in panic to prevent if from escaping.

“Ew. This is so gross. I’m never doing this again. Oh hell no it’s moving.”

Don’t put it near me!

“I’m not. Hold on.”

Clutching the thing far away from his head, Sig made his way to the startup latch, and carefully moved one end of the centipede close to one of the input rods. The creature, recognizing a surface it was designed for, wriggled free from his grasp and grabbed the second rod with its other end. A spark of static electricity could be heard, and the machine whirred to life.

“Fuck… I know having batteries everywhere is handy, but I wish they didn’t design them to be this gross. Then again, bugs are the about the only type of animal you can just let loose and hope they’ll infest the entire world.”

Did you know they can grow to be around my size and evolve hard-to-penetrate body armor? Also, wings.

“I did, and I hate you for making me remember that fact.”

The console’s various lights and buttons started to blink a boot-up sequence. An old display with rounded edges sputtered to life.

Literally.

Instead of a holographic display, the display was a sheet of tiny pseudo-eyes arranged in a hexagonal pattern. The lids were all white, and the eyeballs themselves were a pearl black. “The screen that stares back,” Sig muttered.

The eyelids performed a display test sequence – they opened and closed in order, from the center all the way to the edges, resulting in a satisfying black ripple wave washing over the screen. Then, they opened only in the correct places, displaying a black-and-white user interface.

“Finally a piece of tech that works around here! Bless the cycle and the regenerative boons it grants to immobile organisms. Alright, let’s see what we got. Hmm… fuck, gonna have to crack the password.”

‘1234’

>DENIED

‘ADMIN’

>DENIED

‘LOOKSTOTHEMOON’

>DENIED

‘LTMADMIN’

>DENIED

‘LETMEIN’

>DENIED

‘LTMACCESS’

>DENIED

‘NSHACCESS’

>DENIED

‘FRIENDSHIP’

>DENIED

‘BIGSISMOON’

>DENIED

‘NSHISRAD’

>DENIED

‘FPINACATBOYOUTFIT’

>GRANTED

“Got it in one!” Sig exclaimed, “I know her so well… Alright. Connected modules… None. Makes sense, power’s down everywhere. Logs… last boot… Damn, that’s a long time! Like, a long long time. I don’t even know if you were alive that long, Redward!”

This wall of flesh is not older than me. I refuse to accept that.

“But then when you look at the last log, it gets weird. This thing was connected to all sorts of shit. Memory, processing, power distribution, cooling… All of this wasn’t a specialized dedicated module, but rather some kind of… an all-purpose module? Why not just build another Iterator at this point?”

“And then when you scroll further back in time, you see more and more connections appear. So this would mean they were either getting cut off one by one, with the power being the last… or this all just kept deteriorating here, while it was running. Which, what the hell? Why would Moon keep this thing running but not make any effort to keep its condition stable? I’m not liking the look of this, Redward…”

Worry later. Find a way first.

“…Right. Generally, when building an Iterator, you want components higher on the parent-child tree closer to the core of the structure, so that data has to travel the smallest distance possible. So, if we find where this guy’s parent component is relative to us, that’ll be our way to Moon’s actual structure and out of whatever this infested rusthouse is.”

So we follow the thickest cable on the wall.

“Not necessarily, gimme a while. Most recent log… connected devices… Parent controller is in port 0, and port 0 is gonna be… this cable.”

Which is the thickest cable on the wall.

“Yeah, just wanted to make sure. C’mon.”

With a clear direction, the two were now on their way. After passing the first few controller nodes Sig had noticed that the parent wire was always in port 0, which sped up their pace significantly. Following the cable, the two ended up moving horizontally, instead of upwards, where Sig had predicted Moon’s structure would be.

The further they went, the more Sig’s thoughts moved from “something’s not right” to “something’s DEFINITELY not right”. The deeper they went, the more dated Iterator components Sig was noticing – all equally wrecked by seasons of disuse. Their pace had sped up significantly – and for once, it wasn’t Redward hurrying Sig up.

Each room was wider and more spacious than the last, and at the final point of their trip, where Sig was practically running through the waist-deep water three steps ahead of Redward, he’d come to a horrifying conclusion.

This wrecked place wasn’t just an external module.

This was Looks to the Moon.

“No… it can’t be in this bad of a state- she can’t be…” he kept muttering as he strode on, but reality didn’t seem to care. Instead, it presented him with Moon’s puppet chamber.

Or rather, what was left of it.

Instead of two personnel pipes – one from the surface for visitations, one from the inside for maintenance – Sig took the third way in, which was a gaping in the wall. Instead of rapid access memory pearls, the inside was filled with rubble on which lay a blue, metallic mechanical puppet.

“Moon!” Sig shouted, sprinting to her side.

Moon’s puppet was in a similar state to the rest of her body. Large parts of its outer shell had rusted and fallen away, revealing the dated muscletech beneath. Said muscles had apparently been starved of energy and revived by the cycle over and over again, from the way they over-grew the puppet –the tendons on her feet were in all the places they shouldn’t be, with stray shards of metal stuck between them. Several of her right-arm wires’ coatings had been scratched off, and the bioconductors inside had grown over the wires, likely leading to several short-circuits.

“Calm down… fuck, what do I do… The neuron! Where did I…”

Without a second thought, Sig shoved his hand down his own throat. His eyes widened as he gagged and the hand shot back out – along with a wet but hermetically sealed safety capsule.

Sig set the capsule on the ground, opened the spring-loaded mechanism and quickly moved back. He was not risking contaminating the startup neuron now.

Said neuron instantly spurred to life. It flew into the air, scanning everything inside the chamber. Sig skittered out of the chamber so as not to give it the wrong target, and watched from behind cover.

As soon as the scanner touched Moon’s forehead, the neuron zoomed to the center of the chamber and froze in the air. Sig gave a quiet yelp as the machinery around him started spurring to life, with power saving modes being disabled and gravity in the chamber decreasing.

The rush of water could be heard as countless seasons’ worth of slag and mud was emptied from the filters through the pipes all around them. Pieces of rubble in the center shook, an electrical whine coming from all around as the gravity manipulators moved them aside, away from Moon’s puppet.

The black power light on Moon’s forehead shone a bright red.

Sig’s surroundings visibly darkened, as the neuron redirected energy from all possible sources to all salvageable systems - even the light from all around. Sig could see Redward’s fur stop crackling as the neuron became the only available light source.

Sig cursed and ducked back into cover as a green spark of lightning from the neuron nearly hit his head. He heard more sparks follow, no doubt hitting the chamber’s conductive walls, finding their way into the electrical grid and providing the superstructure with much-needed energy.

The whole superstructure was now heavily shaking. Sig looked up, saw how many cracks had appeared in the ceiling and load-bearing walls over the years, and seriously considered running away then and there.

But a moment after, just like that, all became quiet.

Sig cautiously peeked into the neuron’s line-of-sight and instead of one green neuron he saw five white ones floating around Moon, who was sitting straight-legged in the middle of the chamber, the light on her forehead shining a “critical status” red and the screen below it devoid of any expressions.

“Moon?” Sig asked, cautiously approaching her.

She gave no response, and made no movement.

“Is everything alright? Can- can you understand me? Can you hear me?”

Sig got to her side, and crouched nearby, staring worriedly at her empty visor.

“…Sis?” He asked in a shaky voice.

His hand slowly reached towards her shoulder.

A loud boot-up sound echoed throughout the chamber. Two eyes appeared on Moon’s face, rapidly flicking across the room. In a fraction of a second they darted between Sig, Redward and Sig again.

“AAAAAAAH!” Moon yelled.

“AAAAAAAH!” Sig screamed.

Moon furiously kicked the ground with her legs, sliding away from Sig and Redward on her butt and hitting her head on the chamber walls. Sig stumbled backwards, falling ass first onto Redward who lizard-cursed, grabbed Sig’s body between his teeth and sent him rolling across the floor with a swing of his head.

For a good while, the ambience was the quiet hum of re-awakened machinery and the pained groans of two Iterators.

Sig picked himself up, and let out a quiet chuckle which, as soon as he processed the situation, turned into a relieved full-bodied laugh. A slight groan escaped him as he picked himself up to his knees and rolled into an open-legged sit, his hands straight behind him to support his exhausted back, and his mouth still giggling like a little girl.

“Yeah, I… huff… had a similar reaction when I saw the big guy for the first time,” Sig said, patting Redward’s back.

“So,” he continued, noticing Moon’s disoriented stare, “how was the nap?”

“I- d-dd donn’t- think- I- can’t- I- I- I-“ Moon stuttered, in a really shaky voice, “N-na-ap?”

“Look around,” Sig said, gesturing around the chamber.

Moon’s eyes slowly panned to the left, then to the right, taking in the debris all around them, briefly halting on Redward, and settling on Sig.

“Oh-h,” Moon said, her voice more stable. “How l-long?”

“Really fucking long,” Sig said, much more seriously. “Seasons long. We-didn’t-know-if-you-would-ever-function-again long. The entire time we had no visual data of your can ‘cause of all the fog.”

“We?” Moon asked.

“Mostly Suns and I,” Sig said. “Other Iterators too, to an extent, but we couldn’t group enough of us to get our resources together and check up on you guys thorughly. Everyone’s taking heavy hits these days.”

“Other Iterators?” Moon’s eyes squinted, then widened. “Sig?!”

“Yeah, me! Wait, did it take you this long to recognize me?”

“You look so different!  Also, how?!”

“A drop of Suns’ secret sauce and a dream,  that’s how! I’m here, in the flesh!”

“I don’t remember you looking like this! Did you always look like this?”

“I’ve had to re-construct like ninety-five percent of my puppet and cram all the vital systems inside, of course I didn’t look like this!”

“Yes, but… it was so hard to recognize you! Your whole build is different, and you’re such a strange size! You look like a-”

“Just ’cause you’re still part of a gargantuan superstructure does not mean I’m short!”

You’re a short motherfucker and nobody likes you!

“Shut it, Redward, you oversized food disposer! You’re the last creature who can judge my height!”

“Did- did you just talk to that lizard?” Moon asked.

“What? Oh yeah, I do that sometimes. He’s been the only company I’ve had on the way. I’ve met him near my can and I’d have gone mad if I couldn’t kill the time by hallucinating him talk shit at me so I could respond with appropriate witty banter.”

“…How long have you been out in the wilds? Are you alright, Sig?”

Sig chuckled. “Your entire can is flooded and you’re worried about me? I’ll be fine! On the other hand,” Sig pointed at her limp right arm, “look at yourself! We’ve got to get you fixed up at least, and completely out of here if possible!”

“I… wouldn’t have high ho-o-op-pes for that,” Moon’s voice glitched.

“Why not? If I find the right tools-“

“What tools? Sig, look at me.” Moon said, turning her body with a wince, and pointing at the massive harness attached to her back. “My umbilical is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I’m lucky to even be speaking with you right now! The systems behind that wall are barely functional. What wrench can get massive heaps of barely-functioning scrap into this body?”

“Well, there’s gotta be something I can do! Pebbles’ city must be full of scrap waiting to be swiped. I’m nowhere near ultraserver-smart anymore, but I can at least get you up to functional! Starting with that arm of yours, let me just get a look…"

Sig reached out for Moon’s shoulder.

“NO!” Moon flinched, jolting away before Sig touched her. Sig froze – as did Moon. The two stood there, the space between them full of tension.

“…Why not?” Sig asked.

“Because… you know!”
“No, I don’t. What’s wrong?”

“You might-” Moon stumbled for words, “damage it further! Or something!”

“I’m not gonna damage it, I just wanted to have a look at the wires!”

“Can’t you have a look after you get the proper tools?”

“How am I supposed to know which tools to look for when I don’t know what the problem is?”

“I JUST DON’T WANT YOU TOUCHING ME, OKAY?!”

Silence.

Moon covered her face with her hands, realizing what she had said.

“…Alright,” Sig said. “I see.”

“I didn’t mean it like-”

“I know,” Sig said, not without a bitter note in his voice. “Your body is in shambles, and you feel like anything might send it crumbling. Or it’s just your personal ick, and you don’t like being touched in general.”

“…Thank your for understanding.”

“But I hope you understand how much of a waste it would be to leave you like this after coming all the way here from my can on foot.”

“Yes, I… get your point, too.”

“So here’s what we’re gonna do,” Sig said, raising his head. “You look at your shoulder now and tell me what’s wrong, to the extent of your knowledge. I go and raid Pebbles for the necessary tools plus a hazmat suit or whatever the fuck you need to keep yourself "clean". I come back here, fix up your arm as gently as possible, and then… we’ll figure out what’s next.”

“Yes, that sounds… adequate.”

“Cool.”

“Great.”

A pregnant pause, interrupted by a slight rumble.

“Looks like my time’s up,” Sig said, still with that bitterness in his voice. “Didn’t see any shelters on my way through your guts, so guess I’ll just… wait here. I’d need to backtrack anyway, so might as well save myself some time.”

“The rain will be of no trouble to me,” Moon said, equally awkwardly. “The cycle should re-generate my most vital systems, as it apparently had the entire time I was comatose.”

Redward gave an annoyed snarl, but didn’t make a move to leave. He’d drowned enough times to outgrow his fear of death by the rain.

“Good for you.”

More silence, interrupted by greater and greater tremors. Sig felt a drop of water fall on his head, then two more.

“I’m sorry our first… real… meeting ended up like this,” Moon muttered.

“It’s fine,” Sig repeated just as quietly.

Those were the last words they exchanged before the water claimed them.

Chapter Text

Evolution (Phenomenon)

A law of nature that enables biodiversity throughout the ecosystem. Studies of its cause have been inconclusive at best. It is commonly agreed to be referred to as a universal axiom of The Cycle (see full entry).

While the cause of evolution is unknown, its effects are easily observed: every time a creature dies and is regenerated, its body will alter slightly to better adapt to the cause of its demise. This change ranges from unnoticeable to slight for weeks but becomes apparent after seasons of constant adaptation to local threats.

Empirical data gathered from observation of the phenomenon suggests that:

-A creature might adapt by becoming stronger to overcome the threat – or it might adapt by decreasing in size to become less attractive to a predator.

-The Cycle will take the path of least resistance when choosing a branch of evolution – that is the path that will fully adapt the creature to the threat over the smallest amount of cycles.

-The evolving creatures have no conscious impact on the changes caused by The Cycle, but their overall mental state has been theorized to have some effect on their evolution paths.

-From “The common encyclopedia”

---

Sig’s eyes had been closed.

There was no need to think, no need to care, no need to deal with stupid bullshit emotions as long as he laid down on the shelter’s comfortable floor.

From time to time, something nudged him. Nudged, shook, and bothered, trying to shake him awake. He wouldn’t let it, and it would go away, leaving him blissfully alone. It would come back eventually, and he would wait, his eyes squeezed and fists clenched, and it would leave again.

But after a long period of silence, just when he thought he’d finally rid himself of the disturbance, it came back with tripled urgency.

“…go ‘way…”

He heard a snarl and felt a rougher shake.

“…lemme sleep just a lil’ longer… leave me ‘lone…”

He wasn’t left alone. Instead, the nudging was replaced by a sharp pain in the nape of his neck, and the scraping pain of the ground against his back and sides – briefly interrupted by the smooth stasis of a transport pipe, then promptly resumed.

“HEY- Redward- put me the fUCK DOWN!”

The pain disappeared from his neck, and he hit the ground a few more times as he rolled around the ground outside of the shelter. He immediately felt a huge clawed paw pin his leg to the ground.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SLEPT THROUGH ALL OF YESTERDAY!

“I… what?”

Yes, dipshit! You didn’t eat anything and you waved me off every time I tried to wake you! You just laid there!

As Sig’s senses leveled with reality, he did notice an unusually strong headache and an extreme hunger.

“…Sorry.”

Don’t apologize, stupid. Tell me what’s wrong.

“…You wouldn’t get it.”

Try me. Explain all your smartass cookie problems to this dumb beast.

“I… don’t want to talk about it.”

Well then, we’ll be sitting here until you starve. I ate yesterday, I can go for a long time.

Sig stared at the lizard.

The lizard stared at Sig.

Sig’s stomach growled.

“…Moon doesn’t wanna see me.”

Go on.

“The way she acted in the chamber… It was like I was gross, or something. Repulsive. We’ve known each other since – well, since I was born, but our comms had been cut a long time ago, and… she’s acting as if none of it mattered! And I’m scared, ‘cause if she doesn’t wanna see me after I fix her up, what’ll I do then?”

Back up. Why would she not want to see you?

“I dunno, but apparently she doesn’t! Did you see the way she looked at me?!”

Sig clenched his face in his hands and looked off into space through his fingers.

“She looked at me with disgust, Redward, and I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean!”

I don’t, either.

But I used to.

“What?”

I was like the two of you once.

“…you were an ex-omnipotent algorithm cruncher that fell from its grace and is now forced to tread this mortal soil?”

Probably not… whatever that is. But I used to walk on two legs, cover myself in cloth, and care about what others thought of me.

It was so long ago... Most of the faces and names are gone, but the colors… Those I remember.

Redward had already let go of Sig’s leg, but the Iterator made no more attempts to disengage from the conversation. Instead, he quietly scuttled closer and leaned on the lizard’s back.

I never lived up to what they wanted me to be. I was always too… dumb, lazy, ugly, pick one to suit the mood. When I was young, my peers and elders tried to teach me a lot of things, but I could never get it. Each test they gave me, I failed. So, I only got to do the work I could do.

While others worked with screens and pens, I carried heavy blocks. While they feasted, I ate what I could afford. While their dens crawled with special little servants, mine crawled with roaches and centipedes.

And at one point, they started to go away.

One by one, each of them took one final test, and… left. I don’t know where they went, but I remember pleading with them, begging them to take them with me – but as always, I wasn’t good enough. So, I was among the very few who stayed.

“They left you behind…”

Get that pity out of your voice. The day the last of them left was the best day of my life.

“But you said-”

Because everything they had worked so hard to construct was now mine for the taking.

I could now eat all the food they had stored away in their frost chambers. I could sleep in their fine dens and when I broke something I’d just go sleep in the next one. I even got my hands on some of their weapons! My greatest dream had come true:

Everyone fucked off and left me alone.

I would walk out into the wilderness and, for the first time, truly live my life. I’d kill, I’d be killed, and I’d change to be better. I didn’t have to hunt, but I could! The thrill of striking down a creature that had struck me down five, ten, twenty times before was to die for. And then to reincarnate for, and to kill for again! I had finally found what I was looking for. I was my own master now, and there would be bloodshed.

And with time, I changed to suit the hunt. I lowered myself into a crouch, my face… my jaw… lengthened, and my teeth sharpened. I grew a tail to keep my balance, and a tongue to pull my prey in.

And, well, you know the rest. I never looked back since.

“Wow…”

So, moral of the story, Redward said, wrapping his tail around Sig’s shoulder:

No need to give a fuck whether she likes you or not. Because we’re out here, she’s stuck there, and two, three, six seasons from now you’ll have walked the whole wide world and she’ll still be wasting away in her rusted cube.

Sig slumped. “So your solution is just to… what, give up on her?”

If she’s making you unhappy, she’s got it coming.

“She’s not! She’s…” Sig sighed.

“She’s one of my closest friends, alongside Suns. Yeah, we’ve scuffled, but I came all this way because she’s like a sister to me, and I’d never ask for someone else to fill that role. You were fine with cutting your ties with everyone you knew because you hated them. That’s not the case here. I care about her, and I care about what she thinks of me.”

Let’s do this another way, then. Do you think I’m gross?

“No! Of course n- hnngh-“

The lizard’s tail briefly squeezed Sig’s throat. Be honest.

“…a little bit… I think you’re a bit too fat and your snout looks a little malformed and it’s really disgusting when you get saliva everywhere…”

Cool.

“…And you’re fine with that.”

Yep.

“How?”

Anyone ever say you’re ugly before?

“Well, Moon just now, and then there was…”

I’m waiting.

“No one,” Sig realized out loud. “You’re an asshole to me all the time, but… you don’t count. You never mean it. I’ve only talked through chat, and before that… I was revered. Like all Iterators! Never… this.”

See? You’ve got a soft shell. You’re like a baby crying first thing in the morning because something ate it for the first time. It’ll hurt less the more it happens. Man up and keep moving forward.

Sig chuckled. “Fuck, this is so surreal… An Iterator taking emotional advice from a murder lizard.”

Long overdue.

“…Thanks, Redward.”

You’re welcome.

They sat like this for a moment, until Sig’s stomach growled again.

“Totally forgot how hungry I am… Food first, suit and tools second… hopefully-better-than-first encounter last.”

---

“Changed my mind,” Sig said with half a fruit in his hand and the other half in his jaw. “We’re not going to Pebbles. The city’s got to be full of supplies, but that’s no good to us if it turns out none of the elevators work. Or, for that matter, if Pebbsi doesn’t let us in.”

Weren’t you friends?

“We knew each other. That’s a different thing. And his city’s so high up that, with his elevators, he basically gets the final say on what gets in or out, so I don’t wanna risk that.”

You could just scale it with your climb noodles.

“Haha, fuck that. We’re talking about scaling an Iterator here. See that cloud up there? Imagine climbing twice that height.”

All I’m hearing is excuses.

“Okay, smart guy, let’s see you take a crack at it.”

You have swing ropes. I don’t.

“All I’m hearing is excuses.”

I will strangle you in your sleep. With your swing ropes.

“What I thought we could do instead,” Sig continued, “is search in the industrial zone we came through. There’s tons of mechanical utilities in there, and some may even be more specialized than the ones up in Pebbles, since that’s predominantly a residential area.”

Think they’ll have any good weapons?

“What would you even need weapons for? You’re a goddamn apex predator.”

I was once the best drill cocoon fighter.

“Your tongue is literally a better drill cocoon. ‘Sides, what would you even grab it with? Your teeth?”

Let a lizard dream.

And so, the two went deeper into the mechanical forest, keeping an eye out for any tools along the way. By afternoon Sig had begun to regret choosing to search here instead of up on Five Pebbles. Sure, the climb could be bad, but at least that place hadn’t been flooded every night for who knows how long.

Everything that could be opened had been washed through. There was no middle ground – every latch was either shut tight or opened wide by the downpour.

“Found one!” Sig shouted, pulling a bag out of a storage crate.

The fabric ripped to dust as soon as he grabbed it.

“…Never mind, I guess.”

There’s a light on that building over there.

“Where?”

Redward’s tongue shot out of his jaws and stuck to the wall. Sig squinted and saw the black tip reflecting the light of a control panel’s diode.

“You could have just pointed…”

Sig looked up at the imposing building. No windows, beveled edges, sheer metal walls with barely any rust – but plenty of overgrowth – on them. His gaze went to the signs engraved on the wall.

“Advanced biomechanics research, storage and containment... Promising, ‘cause those are usually really waterproof. They don’t even put transport pipes in those.

Shuddering, Sig touched the slimy panel with one finger and entered the code from earlier.

“That password is so brilliant because even if it leaks, no one’s gonna believe it,” Sig said. “Now let’s just hope it’s the same master key for everything Moon-controlled…?”

Surprisingly, the ground shook, and the entry gate to the building started to sluggishly open.

“There we go! Finally, a solid spot to look in!”

As if on cue, the gate froze, barely above the ground.

“I’ve gotta stop talking. I need to learn to keep my stupid jaw shut. Just. Why did I have to go and open it?”

Sig crouched down and examined the gap.

“Nope, no way we’re getting in through there.”

My skull is too big. You’re squishy, you’ll fit.

“I am not- there is no way I’m getting in through this gap! I’ve got too many solid pieces!”

Less talking, more squeezing.

“I’m so glad Suns isn’t here to take that out of context. Fine, I’ll try.”

Sig lay on the ground and used his legs to push himself inside.

Surprisingly, he did fit. It took a few pushes of the lizard’s snout, but he got in just fine.

Sig got up, shook himself off, and looked around. Pitch-black, with the only light coming from the ajar entry hatch. He fumbled around with his hand, looking for a light switch. He found one in the form of a lever next to the entrance, which he pulled.

A large crate next to the switch opened as thousands of giant fireflies awoke from the longest hibernation of their lives. Each as bright as a miniature sun, they spread out across the room, their tiny brains hard-wired to get as far away from each other as possible, lighting up the room with an orange-ish hue.

He seemed to have entered the “storage” area of the facility – and what an area it was. Great pallet racks stretched as far up, left, and right as the vast hall allowed for. They were lined with crates big and small, plastic, wooden, metal, and glass – each with a tiny label centered on every side.

This place definitely had what he was looking for – but finding it was going to be a pain.

“If you can’t get in, guard the entrance for me, will ya?” Sig shouted towards the crack under the door.

What’s there to guard? I’m going hunting, the crack replied.

“Fuck’s sake… Bring me something I can eat too!”

Chasing small fry is below my dignity!

“And there he goes…” Sig shook his head and got to searching.

He soon noticed that the racks had been labeled – thank fuck – with the general categories of the supplies contained thereon. Despite the building being a research facility, its large warehouse seemed to double as a general all-purpose housing space for anything its neighbor facilities might need.

He stopped in the “Maintenance” section. Walking between the towering stacks of crates he could see from ground level did not reveal anything that could be of help – but there had to be something somewhere in this enormous warehouse. If only he could get higher…

Sig slammed his forehead and grappled the ceiling.

The hall was just spacious enough for the end of the wire to barely reach the ceiling’s cantilevers – and even then, he had to jump. He scanned the racks as he rose past them. “Downside of making your storage systems centipede-accessible: easy-access high shelves stop being easy-access once all the heavy lifters are gone.”

“Not this, not that, this won’t help… Aha!” Sig’s eyes stopped at a box labeled ‘MTRC-1770’.

He reached inside the crate and pulled out a hibernating mobile tissue recompiler. It was wrapped in a one-time-use protective cocoon, which he attached to his back.

“Simple, but compact – and works both for electronics and bionics. It’ll have to do. Now for the hazmat suit…”

That turned out to be a much taller order than expected, and Sig had to resort to combing the entire facility. Its all-purpose nature really reflected on the catalog. As a proxy point for storing supplies to remove their need for transport all the way from Moon’s urban areas, it had equipment required for scientists working in the connected research area, materials for construction crews, tools for maintenance workers, and common necessities for all of them. He passed areas full of construction materials and parts whose purpose he might have given a fuck about back when he was an immobile machine. He’d seen crates full of gloves, disinfectant, and masks. The masks ranged from protective through decorative to scavenger and vulture masks!

The “Necessities” section even had fully stacked travel backpacks filled with food, spare clothes, and hygiene products. Sig grabbed one and put it near the exit, hoping to squeeze it through later. The same area also contained cold storage containers full of frozen food, a few handfuls of which Sig gladly pocketed for snacking purposes.

There was everything – just not the thing he was looking for.

For a while, Sig wondered if he’d get away with grabbing a pair of gloves and calling it a day – after all, it was just Moon’s personal ick he was dealing with at the end of the day – but decided against it. He said he’d get the suit, so he was getting the suit. He’d just have to explore further. It was a research facility, after all – that stuff could reasonably be a part of some employees’ uniforms, hidden away in lockers.

“Redward?!” He called out towards the exit.

No response.

“Still hunting, huh… If something crawls in through here while he’s away I’m gonna have words.”

The storage hall connected to a long corridor, with lines of doors on each side – the “research” part of the facility. Some of the storage area’s fireflies had flown here, giving him just enough light to see where he was going and what he was looking at. He grabbed one in his fist – about twice the size of his hand – to use as a mobile light.

And with a glowing bug in one hand, and a thawing fruit in the other, Sig marched on.

The lab rooms were shut tight, and Sig didn’t open most of them – he mostly just glanced in through the windows, searching for a place that might have what he was looking for. The rooms on the right were composed of various laboratories. Some were full of microscopes, others – of computers. One did not have floor tiles – instead, the floor was covered in glowing grass. The window of yet another lab was covered in some gently moving tissue. Sig did not open that one.

Rooms on the left were lined with kill chambers. A particularly nasty kind of incubator, one that eliminates the creature inside at the start of each cycle, right after it reincarnates. Since death reverts an organism to the state it was in yesterday morning, the mechanism would effectively keep the creature inside in stasis. The evolutionary effect of the cycle was solved by waiting for the creature to regenerate at the start of the next, then using a different mechanism to eliminate it again in hopes of leading the evolutionary element of the cycle in circles.

Of course, it wasn’t a foolproof mechanism. One of the doors on the left was already open, and one of the kill chambers had its protective visor turned to glass shards on the floor. The whole thing was horribly blackened, likely due to an explosion from the inside.

Sig was glad the contents of other incubators’ pods were obstructed by glossy black covers.

The sound of a transport pipe triggering up ahead made Sig jump.

He scrambled for a place to hide – and quickly realized that he would rather not enter any of the labs. So, he listened.

Alternated clanking of two objects – one metallic, the other one not.

Sig hugged the wall on the right in an attempt to make himself as small as possible.

A locker being opened.

He realized the futility of the action when he noticed the firefly shining in his hand.

The rustling of cloth and something heavy being tossed to the ground.

It was his only source of light – but it also gave him away.

The locker slamming shut.

After a second-long conflict, Sig threw the glowing bug forward as far as he could.

More alternated clanking, and a dull thump.

The firefly flew forward, and its light did not reveal anything out of the ordinary.

The noise of chewing.

Aside from one open door, which the bug entered.

It can open lockers, Sig thought, and carry objects. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad sign, but that clanking sounded really familiar…

How much do I lose if I die right now? Sig considered. The warehouse door is stuck open, which means if it doesn’t automatically close, the rain will get in overnight. So many supplies can get ruined.

He looked behind him at the long way back. Then, towards the likely source of danger.

Fuck it, we ball – he decided and began slowly creeping forward.

Each step was quiet, so as not to alert the creature to his presence. His eyes were glued to the light emanating from the room as it inched closer and closer. As soon as he finally reached it, he held his breath and slowly peeked inside.

An adolescent scavenger was lying on a soft bag, snacking on a bat it hunted who-knows-where. A heavy, fringed cloak hung from its mask and over its back, obscuring its actual body from view. Its eyes were stuck to the firefly, currently walking on the wall. A large rock and a torn-off spear were lying nearby.

Sig let out a sigh of relief, entering the room fully. The baby scav’s (scavpup’s?) eyes widened, and it scrambled to its feet as soon as it noticed him.

“Chill, chill, I come in peace,” Sig assured. “Just came here to check out the- OW!”

A rock hit his head, knocking him back.

“What the hell are you - “ Sig’s eyes narrowed, as he rubbed off the pain and noticed the spear leveled at him.

“Ooh no no no no, young man slash lady, please put that away,” Sig said, raising both of his hands up and backing off. “We don’t want any trouble here, I’m just looking for…”

Then Sig noticed the writing on the scavpup’s makeshift bed.

ID-909 HAZMAT

“Say…” Sig said, very slowly pointing towards the bag, “You don’t suppose I could have that, do you?”

The scav’s stance lowered, its body covering the bag.

“Oh, that’s a shame…” Sig trailed off in a slow, dreamlike mutter. “Though it solves one problem, I suppose... Here I was going to think I’d have to abandon this tasty fruit…” he said, pulling one from his pocket, “I’d need both hands to carry the bag, after all…”

The pup’s eyes refocused on the new target.

“Oh, well… I guess I’ll just have to eat it, then… This fresh, juicy fruit… Such a shame…” Sig said, opening his mouth comically wide, and slowly moving the fruit towards his mouth.

Sig stumbled as a mass tackled his body, bouncing off of it and ripping the fruit from his hand. He kept his balance and looked at the scav, who landed next to the bag and began nibbling on the fruit. Its little teeth, though covered by a mask, were scratching off layer after layer of the half-frozen fruit.

“It’s a deal, then?” Sig asked, approaching the bag.

The fruit fell to the floor, and the spear went up again.

“You little…” Sig caught himself, slipping back into Performance Mode, “Hungry fella, do you think that small little fruit is going to last you the whole night? You look famished,” he said, looking at the scav’s perfectly well-developed belly. “If only there was someone who could tell you where they got that fruit from… A place full of fruit like this, enough to last who knows how long! And it’s all perfectly preserved. A fine trade for one small bag, don’t you think?”

Another rock went flying towards his head.

It stopped inches from its target – inside his hand.

“Final warning, pal,” Sig said, all bullshit gone from his voice, “I’m not kidding when I say I know where to get a lot more. You give me that bag, I lead you to more fruit. One more throw and the deal is over.” His stare leveled with the kid’s. “Am. I. Clear?”

They stood in a deadlock for a while – a grown-ass adult with zero self-defense weapons, and a baby with a sharp rod and very impressive throwing skills.

Finally, the bag slowly rolled across the floor towards Sig.

“Pleasure doing business,” Sig said, slowly picking it up, and turning towards the exit. “C’mon.”

As Sig and the scavpup walked back through the corridor, Sig couldn’t help but grin at the kid’s shenanigans. At the start, it “escorted” Sig with its spear leveled at him, just in case he made any sudden movements – but it didn’t stop there. It slowly began following him in jumps, each ending with a more and more ridiculous action pose directed at its guide. It even attempted a somersault, but fumbled the landing, sprawling itself flat on the ground and sending the spear rolling towards Sig.

“I didn’t see a thing,” Sig said, politely looking away and kicking the spear back to the fearsome warrior – which swiftly got up on its feet, grabbed the spear with a hind leg, and leveled it at Sig threateningly, standing on one foot while both of its front limbs T-posed for balance.

Sig was pretty sure it couldn’t throw with its hind legs but did not point that out.

As they approached the hall, Sig heard noises again – and it certainly wasn’t Redward.

Ushering the scav to hide behind his back, Sig sneaked into the storage hall.

The noise was coming from one of the shelves on the left, and Sig approached it quietly. Holding the kid’s hand, Sig peeked out first.

A slugcat was filling a bag with pearls from one of the crates.

A very, very familiar slugcat.

“Don’t peek, no matter what,” Sig hissed to the kid.

A little bit too loudly. The scug’s head turned, eyes focused on him.

“Hey, uh, nice weather we’re having?” Sig opened, coming into view with both hands raised and the bag hanging from his shoulder. (Fucking liar, the little scav thought.)

The slugcat growled, lowering her stance in an instant. Her teeth bared, and her tail began to flare up with sparks, ready to burst.

Ah shit, here we go again, Sig thought.

“L-let’s calm down a bit, okay? You came here to get something,” he pointed at the bag of pearls, “and so did I,” he pointed at the bag. “But it looks like we both got what we wanted, so I’ll just finish one more thing over here and I’ll… be on my way?”

The slugcat’s stance didn’t change – she kept eyeing him aggressively.

“Great, so I’ll be… on my… way…” Sig said, slowly backing off.

The little scav chose this precise moment to lose its patience and jump out from behind the rack, pointing its spear heroically at whatever Sig might be talking to. As soon as it realized who that was, its eyes widened, and so did Sig’s.

“Fuck.”

All hell broke loose.

The scug blasted forward in a deafening explosion, lunging at the kid in a perfectly straight line. It tripped and tried to scramble away, but it knew it couldn’t get far enough before…

...the scug stopped, right before its face, pulled back by Sig’s grapple.

The scavpup stared as Sig held back the snarling menace with all his strength.

“What are you doing? FUCKING RUN! Go hide in a box or something!”

While it scrambled to do so, Sig reeled the grapple in, yanked the scug up over his head, and smashed it against the ground.

His target shook herself off, and snarled, majorly pissed, her attention redirected from the scav to Sig, for better or worse.

Sig cursed and grappled to one of the higher shelves to put some distance away from the explosive menace.

“What the fuck is up with you and scavs anyway, you racist rat?!” Sig shouted.

They took everything from me! The scug blasted up, boosting itself off of the sides of crates to catch up to him.

“From what I’ve seen, you’re the genocidal maniac here!” Sig replied, arriving at a high spot on the rack and, bracing himself against it, kicking a crate down towards the approaching scug.

You…

The scug corrected its course, boosting itself off the crate and slamming Sig into the empty space he created, pinning him against the platform…

...have seen nothing!

The scug’s left eye exploded, getting blood and fur all over Sig’s eyes and blinding him as the scug’s teeth went for the throat.

In the last moment, Sig shot his grapples behind her, grabbed hold of another rack, and pulled. Both of them were launched in the same direction and the scug coughed out a dry wheeze as its stomach was crushed between a metal crate and Sig’s knee.

I’m back, what’s up? A voice came from the exit.

“Glad to have you back! Maybe next time GUARD THE FUCKING ENTRANCE LIKE I TOLD YOU!” Sig shouted, kicking off the scug and backflipping back onto the opposite rack.

Why? What happened?

Sig saw the scug attempt to boost herself towards him with another explosion, but this one… sputtered out, causing her to lose her balance. She recovered with a proper, loud explosion in mid-air.

Oh, that. Good luck!

“YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, REDWARD!” Sig yelled, grappling up just in time

Well sorry, I can’t exactly help from here!

The scug chased after Sig, who grappled higher and higher. He landed on a horizontal ceiling support beam, looking at the scug from above.

The scug began her ascent towards him, one of her eyes focused on her prey, the other – a wide gaping hole outlined by an uncovered upper left part of a bloodied skull. She continued boosting herself towards him, but he noticed more and more of her explosions sputter out. Could she be… running out?

“Who says you can’t?” Sig shouted, a plan forming in his mind. He used his grapples to relocate to another support beam, and then to another. He saw the slugcat track him with her gaze, now visibly tired.

He locked eyes with her – and smirked.

The scug saw red. She let out one final deafening explosion that shot her towards Sig, becoming a missile that, at all times, knew only two things: where it was, and where its target was.

Time seemed to slow as she approached Sig, teeth and talons bared, on a straight trajectory aimed perfectly at him.

Until Sig sidestepped her.

She tried to correct her course with another explosion, but the last one had left her too worn out – all that came out were fizzles. As she helplessly passed Sig, he stepped behind her, grabbing the nape of her neck, and hooking the support beam with one foot so as not to get dragged away from it.

How the fuck am I supposed to help you from out here? Redward crackled.

The scug’s horizontal momentum turned vertical, and both she and Sig plunged downwards. The repeated explosions had left the scug too exhausted to wrestle Sig in mid-air and she watched, helplessly, as he assumed the higher position and smashed her against the ground as soon as they fell.

And they fell right next to the slightly open exit.

Scugs were incredibly fall-resistant, Sig knew that.

But it stunned them for just long enough.

“Mop the floor.”

A long appendage shot out in a sweeping arc from the crack under the door. Sig jumped away as it wrapped around the scug and pulled it through the crack in the door.

She disappeared, and Sig heard a deafening crunch.

And – at least until next cycle – the scug was no more.

Sig groaned in pain and fell to the floor as the damage sustained in the fight caught up to him. He didn’t think he had broken anything during the fall, but he wasn’t gonna risk it.

“Fuck, that fight was so cool, Redward, I wish you could have seen it…

All I know’s that it was tasty, the lizard said, licking his lips.

“Hold on,” Sig realized something.

What’s up?

“…What time is it?”

Fuck.

“Fuck.”

---

HURRY THE FUCK UP IDIOT I’M GETTING WET ALREADY!

“THEN PULL HARDER!”

WHAT’S THIS SHIT ATTACHED TO YOUR BACK? IT’S A TIGHT FIT!

“IT’S WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR IDIOT!”

Redward finally pulled Sig out through the horizontally ajar gate and wasted no time seating him on his back. He broke into a sprint.

“How far’s the nearest shelter?”

Really far! We’ve gotta bag it!

“Wait! Turn back!”

Are you fucking nuts?

“No, I thought of something, trust me!”

The lizard cursed and made a U-turn toward the lab.

“Hug the left wall! There’s a pipe back in! I saw it from the inside!”

Redward ran through the raindrops that were beginning to feel more like drills on their skin.

There! The lizard shouted. But… Dammit, too high!

Sit looked up and groaned – the pipe entrance was at four times his height.

“Chomp on my legs!”

Are you strong enough to pull me up there?

“No, but I won’t have to! I’ll just have to not break!”

What?

Sig shot both of his grapples inside the pipe.

He yelled in pain as the pipe’s overpowering suction mechanism pulled him in – once something enters the pipe, it has to go through to the end. And so, the pipe fully unreeled both of his grapples – and when that ran out, it started pulling him and Redward inside.

“FUUUCK REDWARD YOU’RE GOING ON A DIET AFTER THIS!”

OVER MY DEAD BODY!

The pipe finally sucked them inside, back into the locker room where Sig met the tiny scav.

Onto a very wet floor.

The door is still open, jackass! It’s pouring in, we’re gonna drown!

“We won’t!” Sig shouted. “Trust me! We’ve gotta get back to the hall!”

They ran out into the increasingly wet corridor – then, they were forced to walk, and shortly after, swim.

We’re not gonna drown, my ass!

“Trust me!” Sig repeated.

The hall was in sight now – just a little further! But the water was already pressing their heads against the ceiling…

ANY LAST WORDS THIS CYCLE?!

“TRUST ME!!!”

They were forced underwater. Sig shot out his right grapple at the floor ahead, and the left one at Redward, reeling them both in. They held their breath as they approached the open hall – and when they did, they rose above the surface, coughing for air and spitting out water.

Great! We’re in your useless hall, what now? The water’s just gonna fill it up again!

“That’s the thing,” Sig said, crossing his arms and leaning against a crate, “It won’t.”

Why the hell wouldn’t it?

“This place,” Sig gestured all around himself, “is watertight. Which also means it’s airtight. The architects can’t risk letting anything get in through the walls because the smallest leak can grow into a cascade.”

“And since air can only compress so much with this amount of water pressing on it from the bottom…” Sig spread out his arms, allowing for a pregnant pause – long enough for Redward to notice that the water level was only one and a half Sig over the opening.

Yeah, yeah, you were right, I was wrong, continue the topic and you get eaten.

“I’d say you’ve had time to eat quite enough for this cycle.”

Both of them climbed up on top of one of the racks – which took a lot of fucking around with Sig’s grapples – and lay down, prepared to sleep.

Until they heard a third something splashing in the water.

Supper! Redward crackled, fully waking up.

“No, not supper! That one’s a friend!”

Friend? It’s a baby scav, dude.

“Just… please don’t eat this one! We have a... pact of non-aggression.”

I’ll consider it.

“CLEAR THE PATH!” Sig shouted to the kid, drawing its gaze. It frantically swam away as he cannonballed into the water. Spitting it out and clearing his eyes, he turned to face it.

“Pfft- hahaha! How’re you enjoying the water?”

The scavpup spat a stream of water at him.

“Hey, no fair!” Sig shouted, turning around.

In the blink of an eye, it swam behind him and splashed him as he was recovering.

“Just as energetic in water as you are on land, huh? Do you want that fruit or not?”

The splashing instantly ceased.

“C’mon, kid,” Sig said, hugging it with one hand, and grappling the ceiling with the other.

---

“Aaaaaand here’s your prize!” Sig shouted, kicking open a refrigerator – which was thankfully properly insulated against water – full of frozen fruit.

The scav looked down at the contents, then up at Sig, its gigantic pupils making the most starry-eyed expression he’s ever seen.

---

The scavpup, for obvious reasons, wouldn’t even come on the same rack as Redward – so Sig returned alone to sleep near the lizard.

“You would not believe your eyes…” He hummed as the fireflies, with no cage to fly back to, began resting on top of the crates all around them, their lights starting to die out.

Weird to sleep in such an open area.

“I know, right?” Sig chuckled. "Last time I’ve slept anywhere larger than a shelter was back in my chamber, but that was… nowhere close!”

A beat of silence.

Do you still miss those days?

“Why ask?”

I know I don’t, but you… were some bigshot back then, right?

Sig laughed. “The smallest fish in a very elite pond. Honestly, I was an incompetent mess of an Iterator. No one would tell that to my face, but… I’ve always known it, deep inside. I put my dumb shit before my citizens, and they were forced to praise me ‘cause their lives literally depended on me.”

So… you don’t miss it?

“Maybe… a little bit. It felt cool to be in control of everything. To literally have nature at your fingertips! Sometimes when I’m struggling I remember how easy it would have been to throw it all away! But this…” He gestured at the dying green glow, the water below them, and then looked at Redward. “Being out here… living my own life, instead of playing with others’ lives… The official reason I’m here is to help Moon, but… just between you and me? This life is what I gave the previous one for. And I’m never going back.”

You already know that, but… same.

Chapter Text

Language (language)

Language is the main language used by sapient creatures. The ability to speak it is, in fact, is considered the main defining trait of a sapient creature.

A few dozen seasons after the eruption of Void Fluid technology, there was no need for Language to have another name – because by then, there was only one. Seasons upon seasons of wide-spread communication between all Iterator colonies had led everyone with access to technology to have eventually learned every existing language, and they had all began using them interchangeably, merging them into one Language. The most convenient words for each concept from each language were merged into the Language, and the rest became archaic.

Nowadays, Language is used by three groups of entities: Iterators, animals evolved from Ancients, and animals given a Mark of Communication. (Any animal capable of bearing a Mark may also be taught Language or learn it on their own, though receiving a Mark is always a simpler solution.)

It should be noted that while some creatures may not have the ability to speak the language due to undeveloped vocal cords, they’re still able to comprehend it. Animals have even been recorded evolving said vocal cords, in cases where their repeated reincarnations were caused by, for example, the inability to communicate their needs to an Ancient.

In addition, and in a most fascinating fashion, animals appear to have their own non-verbal means of communication composed of body language and any sounds the animal is capable of making. It is unclear how it came to be (and as with most things, the working theory is: evolution,) but it gives all animals the seemingly innate ability to communicate between species, and comprehend the messages in each other’s body language and grunts regardless of species, should both animals be willing to communicate.

Though not impossible at all, very few Ancients have taken it upon themselves to learn that method of communication. As with most things, it was below them.

-From “The common encyclopedia”

The crimson beast slumbered deeply, undisturbed and unaware. Its great snores spread across the vast hall it had decided to call its lair for the night.

And just behind it, two shaking servants drew close – one blueish and tiny, the other one slightly taller – as silently as they could, so as not to disturb their master.

The shorter one brought up its hand, revealing an offering. The servants glanced at each other.

Wordlessly, each brought up a fist, and shook it three times. On the third shake, the taller one uncurled one finger, while the shorter one kept its fist closed.

Rock crushes spear.

The taller servant brought up his hand, attempting to call for two more bouts, but the shorter one was already skittering away, the offering thrown to his compatriot – who scrambled and managed to catch it, before it could – perish the thought – hit the ground.

With a sigh of relief, turning into a grimace of reluctance, he tightened his grasp on the offering. And steadied his gaze on his lord, as he made his way towards him.

Would His Terror accept the offering?

Would it be sufficient nutrition to divert his neverending appetite from the servants?

The servant shook those thoughts away – they would not change his fate, whatever it may be, nor make the task at hand easier.

He stopped a few steps away, in fear for what would happen had he the audacity to approach his master any closer and, seeing no other option, threw the offering as gently as he could, then quietly scrambled for cover.

The vulture grub landed right next to the beast’s head.

And then, it screamed.

Redward jolted awake, his entire body straightening like a spring so suddenly that he flew into the air and landed on his ass. The lizard frantically twisted to right itself and then scrambled to a run. The twist swung his tail right under his hind leg, causing him to trip and roll.

Feeling the ground disappear under him, Redward gave a very undignified scream as he rolled off the storage crate and plummeted into the water below them.

The lizard surfaced, coughing and sputtering like a wet scug, to the great amusement of two motherfuckers looking down at him from the storage crates and laughing their asses off.

“The-” Sig couldn’t catch his breath. “The way you just SPRUNG UP, dude! Oh my v-… It’s the… I didn’t know you could jump that high!”

Fuck you, Redward crackled.

“And then- you- you fucking- TRIPPED! On your own tail!” Sig said, between waves of laughter.

Redward said nothing – his tongue was busy with something else.

“Wha?” Sig stopped laughing, as something wet touched his skin, stuck to it, then yanked him off the storage shelf.

“SAVE YOURSEEELF!” Sig shouted to the scavpup, whose eyes went wide, and who quickly backed away from the edge.

A deafening splash, and Sig was dunked into the water.

---

“You gonna let me go now?”

You desherve thish.

“Bet you’re getting hungry right about now, huh? Can’t snack with your mouth full, you know?”

I chan. Whanth me to demonshtrate?

“You know I can barely hear you when your jaw’s full of my back?”

My jaw ish full of shcoundrel and it will shtay that way.

After morning had come for good, and water had drained from the main hall, the two had gone on their way. Sig was very glad the travel backpacks from the facility were sturdy – dragging one on the rocky ground while hanging from a lizard’s jaw would have been very damaging to a weaker fabric.

Sig was also glad that as soon as the water drained, he’d managed to pack his findings into one bag before the lizard got to him.

The baby scav, exploiting Redward’s mouthfulness, was hitching a free ride on his back. Their combined weight was slowing the lizard down significantly – but he’d rather die than admit it.

“Oh yeah, we’ve gotta drop the kid off next time we meet a pack of scavs,” Sig said.

Can’t I just eat him?

“No!” Sig said. “He’s just a funny lil’ guy! You gonna have beef with a funny lil’ guy?”

It wakes me up, it dies.

“For shame!”

---

“SSH! I hear clanking,” Sig whispered. “Assume positions!”

We didn’t discuss any positions!

“Just hide behind that bush and leave the kid out in the open!”

Sig and Redward ducked into cover, leaving the confused pup tumbling on the ground. It got up to all fours, and shot a confused look towards their hiding place.

Sig gave two thumbs up and mouthed “SURPRISE ADOPTION!”

A boop boop boop could be heard, and a pack of five-ish scavengers burst out of a pipe. The group instantly spotted the one Sig and Redward left on the ground, and quickly approached him.

The little scav’s eyes shot wide open, and he scrambled a few steps away from the pack. He froze in a defensive stance, staring at the group intently.

(“...huh?” Sig muttered.)

One or two scavs took a step forward, but the group otherwise remained in place. They looked among themselves, then at the little scav again – who was positively trembling – and the group marched on.

They gave him a look or two, but other than that – the pack left, mostly unbothered – leaving the little guy shaking on the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Sig emerged from cover. “Why didn’t you go with them?”

The scavpup darted towards Sig and hugged his leg – not making any noises, just shaking.

“O-oh!” Sig shouted. “Hey, chill, chill! You’re fine! You’re okay. They’re gone.”

Should’ve just let me eat them, Redward crackled.

“So surprise adoption is a no-no…” Sig sighed. “Because our kid’s got some real beef with his own kind, apparently.”

Since when is this underdeveloped hairball “our kid”?

“Well, I mean… it’s not like we can just leave him in the wild, can we?”

Not with that attitude.

Sig looked into the little guy’s big, round eyes.

“...Nope, I can’t. Suck it up, buttercup, he’s part of the crew now.”

Fine, I guess… What’s a traveler without his emergency food?

---

“Alright, this is it,” Sig said, with a deep exhale.

The wall his back was pressed to was the only thing separating him and Moon’s puppet chamber.

Nervous?

“Not at all.”

Redward slapped him with his tail.

“Yes. Extremely.”

Just put on the thing. I’ve got a plan.

---

I think you’ve got it on backwards!

“No, it’s supposed to look this way! I’ve just - *sigh* I think I put my arm in the leg hole…”

The arm’s fine! It’s your leg that’s in the arm hole!

“It’s so tight around the thighs, who the hell designed this? Can you help me zip it up?”

I’m the only one here without opposable thumbs!

Out of courtesy, Moon did not call out to the buffoon making noises behind the wall. She waited patiently for him to get the suit ready. Moon made sure to act surprised when he finally entered her chamber.

A moment later, however, the surprise became genuine.

A Sig-sized individual entered on the red lizard’s back, completely covered by a white, armor-like hazmat suit. A spear was tucked behind his belt, and a little scavenger trotted along behind them, making hoof noises by banging two rocks against the ground in rhythm of the lizard’s steps.

“Halt, my steed! I spot a fair lady in grave peril!” Sig shouted.

The party came to a stop. Sig looked down at Moon, and reached out his hand.

“O bound beauty, locked in duress! Thy anchor holds you here – and yet it keeps you alive! Oh, the tragedy! Is there anything a humble knight might do to ease thy plight?”

Moon just stared, baffled, at the hazmat mask obscuring Sig’s face. Like a helmet.

Then, a small “pfft” escaped her.

And as if on cue, both iterators bent over in laughter.

“HAHAHAHA! WH- what… what the fuck, Sig?!”

“I dunno! His idea!” Sig shouted, pointing at the lizard – and promptly falling off its back.

Hey, it worked, didn’t it?

“O renowned Sir Significantus Nonharassmentus, I would be honored to… pffft… Nope! I- I can’t! Can’t do it!”

The pretty-much-siblings laughed like idiots on the floor, to the great amusement of the lizard and the little scavenger present.

The laughs slowly fizzled out, leaving them silent.

Sig rubbed his gloved hands together. “So! How’s your shoulder been?”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt. By which I mean, I can’t feel it at all.”

“Can I…” Sig asked, the faux bravado gone from his voice, “...take a look?”

“Oh, s-sure!” Moon said.

Sig started to approach. “Great! Let me…”

“W-w-WAIT!”

Sig instantly froze.

“Your suit! Did you disinfect it?”

“No, I thought they use ever-sterile coatings?”

“Some of the surrounding area was equipped before they invented ever-sterile,” Moon said.

“...Fuck, so I gotta go all the way back for rubbing alcohol? Wait, maybe there’s some in the backpack…”

“No, it comes with the suit! Open the pocket on your chest.”

“Okay…” Sig complied, and looked inside. “Nope, no disinfectant here. Just what looks like a bunch of loose spiders oh fuck it IS LOOSE SPIDERS FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-”

Moon giggled as Sig swatted all over his body, trying to rid himself of the little creatures crawling all over him at ridiculous speeds.

“No, stop! Stop killing them! They can’t hurt you! You’ve got a suit on, remember?”

“Oh, right.” Sig froze, and let the spiders walk. He looked at his hand, and noticed them spraying a trail of see-through liquid as they ran. “Oh, riiiight. The disinfectant.”

“Yep!”

“You could have warned me!”

“This is much funnier!”

“Fuck you,” Sig said, shaking a few spiders off towards Moon. He realized his mistake a millisecond too late, an expression of oh shit I fucked up quickly entering his face, but...

Moon just giggled, and brought one of the spiders closer to her face to inspect it further.

“They’re kinda cute,” she said.

“Oh,” Sig said. “Okay. You’re okay with touching the spiders. Sure.”

“Yeah,” Moon looked at him, genuinely confused as the sudden passive-aggression in his voice. “Why would I not be?”

“No idea. Good to know I’m more gross than a spider, I guess.”

“That-” Moon said, “That’s a different matter completely and you know it!”

Ah shit, here we go again, Redward crackled.

“How is it different?” Sig asked.

“Well, I know the spiders won’t hurt me!” Moon raised her voice.

“And I will?”

“Well, duh! You’re… you know!”

“No, I genuinely don’t!” Sig shouted. “What the fuck is wrong with me, Moon?”

“You’re ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒!”

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’? I tried not to bring it up, but you kept pushing!”

“No, no, nonono, back up,” Sig said, all anger gone from his voice. “Say that line again. I didn’t get you clearly.”

“...you’re ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒?” Moon repeated, confused.

“I hear you’re and then static.”

“What?”

“I know, right? Is your speech processor damaged, or something?”

Moon laughed. “What part of me isn’t damaged?”

“Fair, but it doesn’t seem like it. I’ve heard you perfectly up until now. Say the word again?”

“▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒.”

“Try… explaining it in different words?”

“When a ▒▒▒▒▒▒ goes ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒, the ▒▒▒▒ starts to ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒?”

“Every other word in that sentence was static. You’ve got a serious logic issue either in your hard or your soft and I do not have the gear to fix something like that.”

“Whatever, just… you know what?” Moon turned her damaged shoulder to Sig. “Just fix the damn shoulder, let’s get it over with.”

“Are you sure it’s… fine?”

“Yes I’m sure it’s fine and I want it done before I change my mind and wuss out again!”

“Cool, cool, on it. Lemme get the tools.”

Sig pulled out the electronic equipment along with the recompiler cocoon, and knelt down next to Moon with a power meter, touching one end to a wire near her neck, and the other to the same wire near an – exposed, oof – pseudomuscle on her arm. He fixed his eyes on the display.

“Bend your elbow.”

Moon strained. Nothing happened.

“Raise your shoulder.”

Nothing.

“Turn your hand.”

Nothing.

Sig repeated the commands a couple of times, each time testing a different wire.

“Okay, so… I’m getting a big potential difference right up here, and I think this is what’s causing all the issues. Can I remove your shoulderplate?”

“Eek! Stop, Sig, it’s not proper! We’re practically siblings!” Moon replied, in a comically high pitch.

“Oh, shut up, do you want that arm to work or not?”

“Kidding, kidding, go ahead.”

Sig opened the plate on Moon’s back. “Ouch… that is bad.”

“H-how bad?”

“Be-glad-you-can’t-see-it-bad. Gonna have to recompile ‘cause I am not trusting my hands to solder that shit.”

“Are you trusting your brain to program a recompiler? I’d rather have you cause one or two short-circuits than scramble my DNA like a jigsaw.”

“We don’t need to go that low-level. Your creators biocoded everything and I could recite the code for connect red wire to red pin in my sleep.”

Sig untwisted the recompiler’s cocoon.

He was thankful for the hazmat suit, which let him hold the purposed organism without touching it. It looked like a large pancake – if pancakes had rows upon rows of eyes on one side, pincers, suckers and void knows what on the other side, and a row of sharp teeth running around the rim.

“Well, if the spiders weren’t too gross, I hope this ain’t either,” Sig said, and slapped the pancake-shaped recompiler onto Moon’s exposed mechanism – so that the side with the eyes faced outwards.

Moon gave a quiet squeak as the creature latched onto her body, awaiting orders.

Sig, meanwhile, went back to the backpack and pulled out a coding sheet.

“How was the sequence again? Open, open, closed, open, closed, closed…” He began to mutter, popping holes in the composite sheet to match the code in his head.

“You couldn’t have prepared the sheet before you slapped it on my back?” Moon whimpered. “It’s wriggling. I don’t that it’s wriggling.”

“Shush, you don’t want me messing this up… closed, closed, open, and… done? Can you double-check?”

Moon took a closer look at the small board, with a pattern of holes popped out of it. “Looks solid.”

“Here goes nothing, then.” Sig went behind Moon, and put the encoded sheet in front of the recompiler.

The pancake-y thing on Moon’s back fixed all of its eyes on the code, its innate decoder reading the instructions at a lightning speed. All of its eyes blinked synchronously – the signal for “instructions received,” and the creature got to work.

“It’s wriggling even more,” Moon complained. “It’s grabbing and poking around my insides and I don’t like it.”

“It’s gonna take a while, so get comfortable. I mean, as comfortable as you can.”

A beat of silence.

“So,” Sig began, “the thing you wanted to say, but that kept coming out as static. Is it important?”

“Yeah, pretty important,” Moon said. “You might want to go talk to Pebbles about it.”

“Ha-ha, no. Screw that guy.”

“I never understood why you hate him so much…”

“And I don’t understand why you don’t!” Sig put his shoulders on his hips. “Out of all people! You basically raised the guy, and now you’re sitting here while he’s pissing on your face!”

Moon gave a noise halfway between laughter and choking. “Please… don’t put it like that.”

“But it’s true!” Sig said, with a slight chuckle. “No matter how you look at it! I’ve seen the observer feeds, I’ve got a pretty rough view of what’s going on! He was so full of himself he thought he’d pull off self-ascension, sucked up all the water in the area, and started outputting enough rain to drill through your can!”

“He was always ambitious…” Moon started, but Sig cut her off.

“This again! You’re excusing him, you should be getting mad! And I don’t understand how you’re just…” Sig threw a shrug in her direction, “…taking it lying down!”

“…It wasn’t completely his fault.” Moon said quietly.

“If you’re gonna pull Suns into this, I’ll tell you what I told him, he just provided info…”

“I’m not talking about Seven Red Suns, Sig. I’m… talking about me.”

“You? How are you at any fault here?”

Wincing slightly as the recompiler pulled on a wire, Moon curled her knees close to her chest. “I may have… forced comms on him. A while after he started taking too much water. And since I’ve got seniority, it clogged up his task scheduling while he was synthesizing the creature, and, well… you’ve probably seen the results.”

“Oh,” was all Sig could manage.

“And every time I get mad at him, I also get mad at myself, because, if I hadn’t, then maybe…” She slumped. “…maybe all of this could have been avoided.”

Moon’s puppet uncurled into a straighter pose, leaning far back and propping herself up with both arms.

“Before you came, I wasn’t fully functional, but I was still semi-conscious, and… I had a lot of time to think this through. And I’ve decided that… what’s the point of staying mad?” Moon sighed. “I can’t get mad at him without getting mad at myself, it makes me feel worse, it would make him feel worse if he somehow heard me say it, so why not just… let go?”

Sig stayed quiet. His usual response to slights had been to get mad and get back, but this felt… different. More mature.

But since No Significant Harassment doesn’t like doing “mature,” he instead said: “...Hey, your arm’s fine already! Told you it’s better to recompile!”

“Oh!” Moon perked up, “You’re right, I didn’t even notice!”

She brought her arm up to her face, turned her palm, and wriggled her fingers. “This feels so much better than before! Thank you, Sig!”

“No problemo!” Sig gave a gloved thumbs-up. “You need anything else fixed, you know who to call!”

“Well, I need everything else fixed, so you might be getting calls for a while…” Moon sighed. “...or not at all. Since, you know, my comms are busted too.”

“Then we already know where to start!”

“Are you really going to sit here and spend all of your time trying to reconstruct an entire Iterator?”

“Well, I won’t sit here and fix all of you, but I can probably duct-tape together some workarounds for the stuff you really need! And comms fit right in that category! And even if I did want to fix all of you – I’ve got nothing better to do, so why not?”

“…because of the ▒▒▒▒▒▒ on ▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒?”

Sig facepalmed. “You’re right – how could I forget? The static on static static!”

Moon groaned. “You should really get someone else to talk to you about it. If not Pebbles, then at least contact Suns – it’s important!”

“I’ll be sure to bring it up! Sure hope he’ll understand what I’m trying to contact him about, when I don’t know what it is myself!”

Moon sighed. “I hope so too…”

“And it’ll be bell of a lot easier to do that when we fix your comms! So: where do I start?”

“It would be easiest to just set up a wireless beacon here…”

“Good luck getting a signal! I couldn’t get a hold of Suns practically since getting on ground level! We could use his very limited and weak private connection to my observer, if only I could get hold of the damn thing!”

“No luck here, huh… And it’s not like you can fix my wired connection to my old beacon, either…”

“Why not?”

“I mean, if you can drill all the way underground and dig out the wire all the way to Plains of Wool…”

“Why dig it out? The underground part is fine, there’s no way the rain damaged that! If we just fix both ends of the wire, we’re golden!”

“You probably don’t know, but Plains of Wool was a planned leisure area that is A: unfinished, and B: used to extend above the old cloud level!”

“And I’m guessing Pebbles’ super laser piss raised that level, so now I won’t even get a break from the rain?”

“pleasedontcallitthat but essentially, yes!”

“Well, that’s still an if. And I still have to get back to cloud level to get any comms with Suns, so if I’ll be going there, might as well try!”

Moon shook her head. “You’re so in over your head.”

“Agree to disagree! Now, let’s try to fix it on your this side first – see if it’s even worth the trip.”

Repairing the network module turned out to be much more straightforward than resetting Moon’s shoulder – a burnt motherboard, no fancy biotech, just good ol’ soldering.

“Damn, Moon, your network cable’s a work of art,” Sig declared, after prying open one of the chamber’s tiles. . “It’s got like… what, two hundred million nanothreads?”

“Three hundred fifty, actually.” Moon said, with a fair bit of pride in her voice.

“Well, too bad. We’re melting ‘em all into two.”

Moon sighed. “Sacrilege…”

“Hey, it’s this or you’re staying in the dark. When the greater Iterator community synthesizes Ancients 2.0, they can send a repair crew here to replace the tip. For now though, my ass is not equipped to handle something the size of fifteen atoms.”

Both of them sat in silence as Sig soldered the wire to generic I/O pins that were working.

“…actually, why haven’t we made Ancients 2.0 yet?”

“You tell me. Your info on the world is much more up-to-date than mine.”

“Well, we haven’t made Ancients 2.0 because we’re a bunch of dumb superintelligent loser gods. Honestly, as annoying as they were, having those guys around would make all this bullshit so much easier…”

“How would you know they wouldn’t end up like the last ones? You know, that they would stay here and get stuff done instead of… jumping into the void sea again?”

“Well, we could install some mental blockers preventing self-ascension, and… oh.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Well, at least your current company is far more entertaining than them!”

“Why, what’re they doing – oh pffffuck that is so stupid, haha…”

Sig turned away from his work, only to see the little scavenger throwing rocks at Redward’s head. The lizard was not getting hurt – it takes an insane amount of effort to injure a lizard in its skull – but each time it was hit, its neural signals would cut off for a few seconds – effectively stunning it and making it fall to the ground. Redward would quickly recover, get up, yell a very nasty word – and instantly get hit with another rock, repeating the process.

“Behold,” Sig said in a faux baritone, “The Great Cycle!”

“Who would know that the answer lay in primitive life all along?” Moon added.

“And the key to breaking it…” Sig lowered his voice to a whisper, put down his soldering tools, and slowly approached the scavpup from behind, “The fabled Triple Affirmative…”

Sig grabbed the little scav on the sides. “The solution is grabbable…”

Redward started to recover from the last throw, and the little scavenger started to appear very nervous.

“The solution is scrungly…”

Sig assumed a wide stance, holding the scav by the nape of its neck.

“And the solution better run really fucking fast!”

Sig threw the little rascal, and Redward, uttering a string of curses, gave chase. As soon as the little scavenger hit the ground, it bolted out of the chamber, and the lizard ran after it, ready to tear the little guy to shreds. Their noises faded off into the distance.

Sig sighed. “Man, I love these guys…”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask… How on earth did you manage to get a red lizard to be your bodyguard? Is he purposed?”

“Redward? Yeah, purposed to be a fucking menace,” Sig chuckled. “Nah, he’s actually descended from an Ancient.”

“What?”

“Evolution.”

“Has it really been that long since the Mass Ascension? Wow, I feel old.” Moon looked at her hands, as if searching for wrinkles.

“Can’t blame ya. As for Redward, I honestly just threw him food. And from that point on he just sort of… tagged along.”

“So how is it, traveling with a fearsome apex predator under your command?”

“Under my- hah, good one. Redward goes where he pleases. Honestly, he’s legitimately helpful when it matters, but otherwise, he’s just annoying. But, like, the good kind of annoying. Like, he’ll knock me into the water, and trip me up and shit, but he won’t actually hurt me. He just thinks he’s funny.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” Moon muttered.

“Screw you, I wasn’t that bad.”

“You sent a vulture to shit on Pebbs’ city.”

“Shut uuuup.”

“See? You’re in good company. And from what I’ve seen of the little scav, that goes doubly so for him.”

“Oh, I just met that one a couple of cycles ago. Incredibly cheeky motherfucker. Drives Redward absolutely nuclear.”

“What’s his name?”

“Haven’t gotten around to that yet, but I’ve been thinking… Blueford?”

“No. Stop. I pull seniority. You are banned from naming things forever.”

“Hey, he’s kinda blue-ish!”

“Sig. It doesn’t matter what color he is. You are not calling anything Blueford.”

“Well, got any better ideas?”

“Ruffles.”

Sig raised an eyebrow. “Ruffles? Why Ruffles?”

“Because it’s not Blueford.”

“What part of his outfit has ruffles on it?”

“Maybe he’s got ruffles under that outfit? I don’t know! I’ve always wanted to name something Ruffles!”

Sig raised the other eyebrow too. “The Ancients never let you name anything in the old days?”

“Of course they did, from time to time! But you know those guys! They’d sooner let me name something Eleven Shining Testicles than something cute like Ruffles!”

“Alright, alright, Ruffles it is. I’ll start calling him that as soon as I meet him again. Or, better yet,” Sig pointed at Moon, “You start calling him that.”

“I’m honored, but… why me?”

“Cause I am not taking those guys up to Plains of Wool! Redward’s too heavy and immobile, and Ruffles is too scrungly!”

Moon shook her head. “You’ve said that word twice now and I still have no idea what it means.”

“So, I’m leaving them in your care!”

“I’ll gladly take care of Ruffles – I mean, as much as I can care for anything in this state, but… Redward?”

“Don’t worry, he won’t hurt you! He’s self-sufficient. He can probably just hunt stuff around your can. So can Ruffles, actually. Honestly, I’m just leaving them here to keep you company more than anything else.”

“Wow, visitations from a vicious apex predator and a little gremlin that constantly drives it mad. I’m so lucky.”

“Hey, you can’t escape it forever; everyone gets their turn on babysitting duty eventually. I’ll pay child support in the form of a working comms array.”

“I suppose it’s only fair…” Moon sighed. ”Oh, and one more thing…”

“...You said Redward is too immobile to climb up to Plains of Wool, but… those are sheer pillars, chimneys and walls. How are you going to get up there yourself?”

“No sweat!” Sig took one of the hazmat suit’s gloves off. “I’ll just pull myself up with my grappling hooks!”

“Your WHAT?!”