Work Text:
Attention:
Ralathar, Court Wizard of Dundee
992 Old Mysterious Cave
Cowdenbeath, Kingdom of Fife
Dear Court Mage Ralthor,
I pen this letter to you with great concern and a heavy heart, as the astonishing news of my child's acceptance into the so-called Dundee Collage of Magical Practicallity has left me utterly flabbergasted. It is with utmost urgency that I express my grievances and implore you to expeditiously rectify this preposterous situation.
First and foremost, allow me to meticulously elucidate the multifarious reasons why my child's induction into this flea-ridden establishment is nothing short of an egregious assault on the core principles of aristocratic refinement. It appears that the faculty of the Dundee Collage of Magical Practicallity lacks the discernment and acuity befitting their esteemed positions, and they have failed to realize that my child is of a lineage that is far too grand to mingle with the common magical riffraff.
Furthermore, my child possesses an impeccable sense of fashion and an unrivaled appreciation for the finest woven baskets. It is an outrage to expect someone of such refined taste to endure the company of students who, I dare say, have never even heard of the esteemed basket-weaver of this era, Sir Bartholomew Sartorial. How can my child be expected to thrive in an environment where containers of dubious texture are the norm?
Finally, it is a well-known fact that our bloodline has an innate aversion to any imperfection in table manners. The thought of my child being subjected to the uncivilized habits of fellow students, such as dining devoid of sterling silverware or committing the unpardonable sin of slurping soup audibly, is simply unacceptable.
Thus, I beseech you to intervene forthwith and ensure that my child's enrollment in the Dundee Collage of Magical Practicallity is promptly annulled. It is of paramount importance that my child is shielded from the perils of mingling with those peasant finger-wagglers.
Yours with indubitable superiority,
Lord Reginald Fancypants,
Master Merchant of the Dundaxian Merchants Guild