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As you downed the last of your drink, you slumped over and looked mournfully up at Jill.
"I mean, who the fuck does he think he is?! Just dumping me out of nowhere like that! I thought I was going everything right! I laughed at his shitty jokes, I acted "cool" for him, I nodded and agreed with every shitbrained decision he ever made because it was what I was supposed to do, right? And as a nice big thank you present for everything, he dumps me and kicks me out of our shared apartment!! Ugh I fucking hate him, I hadn't even been living with him for a full month. He needs to piss off right fucking now."
Jill gave you a sympathetic pat on the back. "He sucks, seriously. I'm going to get us takeaway, you want your usual?
You nodded, "Sure, thanks Jill."
You heard the phone click as she punched in the numbers of a fast food place.
"us," the word made your stomach churn, like there was a whole garden's worth of caterpillars emerging as butterflies in your stomach. It felt both foreign and familiar at the same time, like something you loved as a child that was now long gone and forgotten. You and Jill had always been an us," ever since you met in high school. Even at the time you were practically joined at the hip. Even after Jill joined the army, and later the police force, you had always been close. Despite slowly drifting away as you got older, she was never out of mind, and always a phone call away. Ever since she came back to Raccoon city, you had heard about her struggle against the police chief to investigate this shady "Umbrella" corporation, and her frustration with being suspended from the force. As selfish as it was, you secretly enjoyed the fact she had to stay home at the moment, finding any opportunity to show up on her doorstep to hang out.
As the phone clicked back into place, you continued with your rant. "I guess I should be grateful that he didn't cheat on me or some shit, but his reason for dumping me was total bullshit. What the fuck does he mean by "I'm not his type."?! We've been dating for six fucking months and he asked me out in the first place! I was doing everything to his liking, shaving, wearing makeup for once, pretending I cared about whatever he wanted me to, the whole charade! Seriously?! I thought he liked me!"
You hung your head in defeat. "I'm sorry for being so bitchy about this, I don't even feel upset, just pissed that he did it to begin with. You didn't have me over just for me to talk about myself the whole time."
Jill rubbed your shoulder reassuringly, "That's what friends are for, I'll always be by your side and you should know that by now. Besides, it's his loss, I always thought you were charming enough to be anybody's type."
Oh my god. Why does she keep saying stuff like that. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, and you hastily turned your face away from her, hoping she wouldn't notice how much you were blushing.
Once again, you felt your stomach twist, this time at the mention of best friends . Could you even say you and Jill were " best friends " at this point? You knew each other so well, you could basically read the other's mind, the relationship you had seemed to transcend friendship. But still, why did your stomach twist like it was a string being wound tighter and tighter when you heard those words. You almost hated it, but couldn't understand. What was wrong with just simply being friends?
While you both waited for the food to arrive, Jill put on some shitty tv show to laugh at, and dug out some spare duvets for the sofa. As you both sat there, you could feel Jill run her hand through your hair. Your heart almost skipped a beat. You knew you felt guilty, but your mind was a strange jumble of emotions tonight. Like your time with Jill had twisted your mind, all your thoughts leading to her. What was wrong with you?
"Feel free to crash here tonight. Actually, stay here for as long as it takes to get your bearings, you know how much I love your company. I mean, it's better than sleeping on a couch in the same apartment as your ex.
You chuckled bitterly, "Way to rub salt in the wound. Sorry I didn't ask if I could stay earlier."
"It's fine. Look, I've got the extra light duvets especially for you, just the way you like them. Weirdo."
You could muster up a laugh at this, but any further banter was thwarted by a knock on the door.
"I'll get it, you want to fetch the plates?"
Obediently, you trailed through to the kitchen, rummaging around in cupboards for spare plates and cutlery. You paused, your gaze wandering to the fridge, noticing just how many photos Jill had stuck to it. Quite a few of her co-workers, you could recognise one or two, but also a lot of you and her. Some pictures were so old you forgot they had even existed, photos from high school, of you and her both going to prom without a date, or a picture from an old birthday party. Now you looked at them again, you thought just how much you and her looked like a couple. Funny.
Throughout high school, you had never really cared for guys, especially when it came to romance and dating, even on the rare occasion you did talk to a guy, it was never as more than friends. Afterwards, this was one of the few things about your life that stayed the same when you went to college. The only person you had ever had a relationship with in the first place was your now ex-boyfriend. Even then, he had always been the driving force to the relationship, confessing he liked you, inviting you on your first ever date, having your first kiss. But now you thought back on it, you actually didn't care for him at all. A friend? Sure. A boyfriend? Fuck no. But you had clung to him, terrified of being alone.
When Jill came back to Raccoon city, you were ecstatic to have her back in your life, someone who understood you even better than yourself, You found any excuse to be around her, and you swore that your boyfriend was almost jealous of how you acted around Jill.
But recently, you had started to realise how you felt around Jill. Every time she was around, it was as if she lit up the room, and when you couldn't be around her you felt almost upset by her absence. You found how much you liked it when she ran her hands through your hair, or pulled you in for a hug as a goodbye. You found yourself wishing her touch lingered just that bit longer, her soft skin against yours, radiating warmth.
Jill shouted through from the other room, shattering the ambient silence. "Hurry up and get through here, the food's going to get cold!!" You gathered what you found and rushed through, almost stumbling and dropping the plates you were holding.
You both hastily dug into your food, trying not to choke on each mouthful as you scarfed it down. The chatter from the tv bounced off the walls. You looked at Jill, even now, with her food half across her face, she made you think just how beautiful she was. You couldn't pick out any single thing that made her beautiful, just that she was. A strange feeling rose in your chest, like the butterflies trapped in your stomach had migrated suddenly to your lungs.
"Hello?! Still on planet earth?" Jill waved your hand in front of your face, jolting you out of your daydreaming. "Too busy admiring my beauty, hm?" she questioned teasingly.
You blushed in a flustered manner, hoping you hadn't come off as staring at her. Whoops.
"Aw, you're pretty cute when you're flustered, you know that?" Jill teased. Her expression shifted to that of confusion, she tilted her head, "Are you ok? you have this sad puppy look in you eyes. Here." To your surprise, she pulled you into a hug. Her warm arms bundled you up in her surprisingly strong grasp. You tried to cover your face to hide how much of a mess you were. You could feel your throat choke up. Oh no. Before you knew it there were tears running down your face. Jill realised this, her expression morphing into one of concern.
Your words spoke before your mind did.
"Jill, I don't think I did things right. It's not supposed to be like this."
"What do you mean?"
"I definitely did something wrong. I don't think I liked my boyfriend the way I was supposed to. If I did things right, maybe I would still have a partner" You sniffed pathetically. Great. A crying mess in front of the person who could make your heart flip with a single glance.
"Hey man. If your boyfriend can't see how amazing you are that's his fault." She wiped your tears away and smiled at you. "You were too good for him anyway."
That smile made your heart melt. the way her arms wrapped around you soothed you. You could hear the gears in your mind click into place. It made sense now. Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, "Jill, I think I'm in love with you." Oh my god. Why would you tell her that. The second the words left your lips you felt the surprise from both of you descend over the room.
Jill didn't respond, instead just smiling at you.
You scrunched up your fists in her shirt, trying once again to hold back tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't want things to be like this. But if you do love me, please just-"
She cut you off, her lips crashing into yours. Warm against your chapped skin. She kissed you, desperately, like she couldn't quite believe this was happening. Her hand ruffled your hair, holding your face steady so neither of you would slip from each other's grasp. You both closed your eyes, but you could still feel the way her teeth brushed against your lips. She was so warm against you, it made you sure that this wasn't some sort of dream, wishful thinking.
At the very last second you both broke away, gasping for air. You felt a giddy smile creep up your face, and Jill seemed to share your sentiment. This was real. More real than any "First kiss" you had before. You almost cried from relief. You had never felt like this before, but it felt good, more true than anything else.
You yanked on Jill's shirt, pulling her on top of you.
"Woah, ok there." She blushed, but managed to play it off like she wasn't flustered by this. As her arms wrapped around you, you realised how much muscle she had, almost squeezing the remaining air out of your lungs with how tight she held onto you. You squirmed underneath her as your lips met again, feeling her tongue brush against your teeth. She began to work her way down to your neck, trying to get you to squirm as much as possible. She left hickeys every step of the way, and you could feel her teeth playfully bite the tender skin of your neck, accompanied by her warm breath that made your hair stand on end.
She stopped at the collar of your shirt, her silent question obvious. As much as you wanted to continue, with your several drinks earlier and the fact of how late it was, you were just too tired. You simply sighed and shook your head. Jill smiled, before hefting you up into her arms to your surprise. You felt almost giddy, trying to supress a fit of giggles, before you instantly smacked you head against a doorframe as Jill carried you bridal style into her room.
"Oh shit! Sorry." she winced apologetically.
She tossed you onto her bed and handed over a tattered shirt, before turning round and getting changed herself. As you watched, you realised just how many scars she had, trailing up and down her entire body from her legs to her neck.
You both nestled under the covers, and you felt her arms wrap around you once more. She spooned against you, and you could feel her nuzzle into your neck. You could still hear cars race by outside in the street, but nothing else mattered. You were here now, in the arms of the only person you had ever truly loved like this.
Jill whispered right in your ear, "I love you too." And it wasn't long before you both drifted off to sleep, her chest rising and falling while she clung to you, and you nestled into her arms.