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Seven sat in La Sirena’s sick bay, waiting for Raffi to wake up. Rios had offered to stay with her but Seven had made it clear that she wasn’t leaving either way. He hadn’t really wanted to sit with her anyway, not when she was like this. It hurt to watch her be so still and silent when she was usually in constant motion.
So Rios made himself busy around the ship, occasionally bringing something for Seven to eat as she sat watch. It had been touch and go, but she was stable. All there was left to do was wait for her to wake up, and Seven was determined to be there when she did.
It had been days of waiting, of Seven only standing from her spot next to Raffi to stretch or take food from Rios when he came to bring it (despite the thought of eating causing her stomach to churn; how could she eat while Raffi couldn’t?). Finally, as Seven rested her head on her stomach and watched, Raffi stirred. Seven sat up straight, holding Raffi’s hand in both of her own.
Raffi opened her eyes slowly, waiting for them to adjust to the light. It took her a moment, but she managed to open her eyes and take a look around her. “Raffi?” Seven said softly, still holding her hand. “Seven,” Raffi breathed out. This was real. She was alive. Her eyes welled up with tears. She went to speak but stopped when Seven threw herself on top of her, hugging her so firmly that Raffi could’ve sworn she felt something shift inside her. Raffi cried softly.
They sat like that, holding each other, for a while; neither of them wanted to let go. It was Raffi who pulled back, sliding her hands into Seven’s. “I’m sorry, Seven, I’m so sorry,” she hiccupped out, shaking her head. “Hey, no. Raffi, look at me. Please,” Seven said as gently as she could manage.
Raffi sniffled, looking up into Seven’s eyes, loving as ever. “I’m not angry with you. You don’t have to apologize, not to me or to anyone else.” Seven said, rubbing her thumbs along Raffi’s knuckles the way she knew she loved. “But…” Raffi started before Seven interrupted. “Nope. None of that. This isn’t a situation that requires anyone to place blame.” Raffi let out a dry chuckle, “You sound like Worf.”
Seven chuckled briefly at the thought, not letting that distract her. “Well I’m sure he was right when he said that too. If we sat around blaming ourselves for all of this, we’d be here forever, and neither of us would ever agree. It’s not any one person’s fault.” Seven raised a hand to wipe away Raffi’s tears with the pad of her thumb. “Even if it was someone’s fault, I wouldn’t care whose it was. I just care that you’re still here.”
Raffi’s lip trembled as she opened her mouth to speak before closing it again and looking up and away from Seven. She couldn’t say that. This whole situation was hard enough on Seven and Rios, oh god. A wail spilled out of her mouth and her hand flew up to it, too late to keep it from coming out.
“Raffi?” Seven said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t want this,” Raffi cried out, and Seven pulled her hand away. “Didn’t want what?” Seven said, dreading Raffi’s answer but needing to hear it at the same time. “I didn’t want to be found, I didn’t want to be saved,” she said, desperately trying to get the words out between hiccups. “I just wanted everything to stop hurting all the goddamn time,” she finished, bringing her knees up and curling into herself as she sobbed.
Seven wasn’t sure what to say. She knew what Raffi was going to say wouldn’t be good, but hearing it hit her like a ton of bricks. Seven wrapped her arms around Raffi and rocked her back and forth in an attempt to soothe her. She knew it wouldn’t help the way she was feeling now, but maybe it would help her regain some sense of calm. “Why didn’t you leave me? You should’ve left me,” Raffi sobbed, her whole body shaking despite Seven’s firm grasp on her. Seven looked up at the doorway to see Rios standing motionless, tears running down his cheeks.
Seven hadn’t heard him come in and wondered in the back of her mind how long he’d been there. Based on the look on his face, he’d heard enough. He ran his hand down his chin and Seven nodded, a silent confirmation that she’s got this, that he can take time to process if he needs. He returned the gesture, making his way elsewhere.
Once Raffi’s cries had started to subside, her body grew still, the tension leaving. Seven let go of her, sitting back down, and Raffi slowly laid down on her side, staring off at something behind Seven. “Why didn’t you leave me?” Raffi said flatly, her gaze fixed on nothing. “I could never do that. You deserve better than that. And I would never forgive myself if I just let you die,” Seven said, her voice cracking at the thought of leaving her that way. “Wouldn’t have been your fault,” Raffi mumbled.
“It would have been if I left you the way I found you.” Seven said, trying not to think about the sight. She’d already spent every day that Raffi was unconscious with the image seared into her mind, remembering what she’d done to herself every time she looked at her lying still on the biobed. “We’re gonna do everything we can to help you through this and to support you so you don’t feel like you have to do this again. You’re not on your own in this, and you won’t be, not if I have anything to do with it.”
Raffi just nodded, still staring off and blinking as tears fell down her face and onto the bed. Seven reached out to take one of Raffi’s hands. This was going to be a very long road for all of them.