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English
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2015-09-06
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1/1
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Karma

Summary:

Yamaguchi warns Tsukishima that his karma is all fucked up and so Tsukishima tries to do something about it.

Notes:

So I decided to write a slightly cracky fic for my friend and she suggested I post it here.

Work Text:

Fuck this.
Fuck everything.
This is not what was supposed to happen.

Tsukishima stomped his way home, ignoring the pain in his face. The one time he tried to be nice. The one time he goes out on a limb for someone. He gets fucking punched.

The little bastard. Orange sherbet haired dickwad. He was just trying to help. It wasn't his fault that that cabbage patch kid was being jumped. He just was trying to be a good guy and break it up. And as soon as he got in the middle, the little shit punched him.

This is all Yamaguchi's fault. Karma this and karma that. 'You need to put some major good karma out into the world. You're gonna end up with cancer or something. That bad energy is gonna make your body rot.'

So Tsukishima played along. He picked up some trash as he walked to work, throwing it away as he went. He held the door open for an old lady. He gave some money to a hobo. And when he was walking home from work, he tried to break up a fight.

What a dumbass.

While this internal monologue was occurring, Tsukishima didn't hear the sound of someone running after him and calling out for him to 'slow the fuck down you fucking sasquatch why are your legs so long wait!' He saw a flash of orange and then a carrot top midget was standing in front of him, hands on his hips and -- wait a minute. That little fucker!

"...and I totally had that under control you didn't have to do that I could've taken them and sorry about your face but that is totally not my fault and who goes around breaking up fights anyway who does tha-"

"Hey! Slow the fuck down. You want to try talking at a normal pace so I can understand what the fuck is coming out of your little gremlin mouth?" Tsukishima watched him roll his eyes and take a deep breath.

"I. Was. Fine. I. Didn't. Need. Your. Help. Mr. Skyscraper." the troll doll enunciated every word carefully, as if he was talking to a small child.

"Because you were obviously doing just swimmingly on your own. Sorry I bothered." Tsukishima replied, brushing past him and almost knocking him over. He didn't get very far though, because the kid was right in front of him again.

"I can handle myself. I have been for 19 years." the runt said and -- holy shit, this kid was 19? he looked 12. There's no fucking way.

"There's no way you're 19. How tall are you? 4 feet?"

"I'm 5'5" actually, Mr. 'I'm so tall birds mistake me for a tree'. And I am so 19. Look."

The runt pulled out his wallet and whipped his I.D. out and held it up above his head so Tsukishima could read it.

Hinata Shouyo
1131 Harkin Drive
Height: 5 feet 4 inches
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Orange
Sex: M
DOB: 3/14/1996

"This says that you're 5'4"" Tsukishima watched the kid's -- Hinata's -- face turn splotchy as he turned the card to look at it himself.

"Y-yeah well I... I've grown since then! Yep. That's why it only says 4 inches instead of 5. Anyway, enough about me. How tall are you? And you've got to be like 25"

"6'3" and I'm 20 and I'm also leaving." Tsukishima started to take a step but watched Hinata's face fall a little.

"What?" he asked

"Nothin'."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"Then let me leave"

"I'm not stopping you."

"Why do you look sad?"

"I'm not sad"

"Okay fine, I'm leav-"

"What's your name? It's just that I feel like I'm at a disadvantage because you know my name because I'm sure you saw it on my I.D. and I don't know yours so--" Okay, so apparently Hinata blabbered when he was nervous which was kind of adorable and only slightly annoying "--what is the name of which you are called?" Hinata's face was red again and he was breathing in a little heavily.

"Why would I tell a stranger what my name is?"

"JUST TELL ME!"

"Tsukishima Kei! My name is Tsukishima, okay. Geez what is wrong with you?"

"Cute name for a cute guy. I-I mean, um, nice name dude." Hinata moved to playfully punch the taller man's shoulder but ended up punching his bicep. "Whoa do you work out your arms are hard nice guns man"

"I play volleyball and -- wait back up. Cute?"

If it were possible, Hinata's face would have blushed further.

"I just meant that... that I think you're attractive -- I mean, you're okay, nothing to shake a stick at god I'm gonna shut up now bye." Tsukishima watched as the smaller man turned and walked briskly in the other direction, only to realize he was going the wrong way and practically ran back towards him. Running into Tsukishima, he fell down and practically bounced back up and kept going, skirting past him.

Tsukishima watched him go, and after Hinata turned the corner, the taller man turned to go, but something caught his eye on the ground. Picking it up, he saw what it was.

Hinata's wallet.

Fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking down the street, Tsukishima kept his eye out for Hinata's address.

He hadn't even known where the fuck Harkin Drive was. He had asked several other people who also had no clue. Finally, an old lady had known and gave him directions and even offered to drive him there. Declining, he had walked away, only to remember Yamaguchi's advice, and turned around to thank her.

Looking at every house, he finally found the one with the number 1131 on it. Walking up to the front door, he steadied himself with a few deep breaths and then knocked. He heard a muffled shout and then someone yelling.

"Ow! Dammit, one of these days I'm gonna drop you off at the shelter and then you can scratch them, you demon cat. I'm coming! Stop that, Miranda. Just a second!" Tsukishima watched as a red faced Hinata opened the door. He had small scratches on his left cheek that criss-crossed each other every now and then.

"How can I help-- You! It's you! Wait what are you doing here?" Hinata inquired, looking up at Tsukishima.

"You dropped your wallet. When you, ya know, ran into me?" Tsukishima answered.

"How do you know where I live? Did you follow me? Oh no, are you stalking me?" HInata started shaking slightly and frantically looked around.

"Your address is on your I.D. which was in your wallet, you idiot." he replied, laughing slightly at the smaller man's antics. "Here." Tsukishima said as he handed him his wallet.

"Oh thanks Tsukki! Say, do you want to come in for a minute, have a cup of water or tea or something?" Hinata asked, backing up slightly and moving to the side so Tsukishima could walk in.

"Um, no thank you. You have company. And don't call me that."

"I don't have company, what are you talking about? OH! Miranda? No, that's my cat. I'm almost positive that Lucifer sent her up here to torment me and to cause me bodily harm every now and then. "

"Who names a fucking cat Miranda?" the taller man asked.

"I do! It's a strong name for a strong cat. Come on in!" Hinata grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house and -- man this kid was strong!

Stumbling into the house, Tsukishima looked around. It was nice enough. Comfortable looking couch, Nice sized flat screen, cat hissing from atop one of the end tables. Hinata let go of his hand and kept walking into the house and went into the kitchen, leaving him alone in the living room. He noticed some trophies and a volleyball on the mantle.

Hinata came barreling back into the living room, carrying a glass of water for Tsukishima. Before Hinata could say anything, Tsukishima cut him off.

"You play volleyball?" the taller man asked.

"Oh, no. The trophies are for croquet and the volleyball is my cousin's. I'm too short for volleyball and croquet is more my style, calm and quiet and -- OF COURSE I PLAY VOLLEYBALL YOU ASSHOLE JUST BECAUSE I'M SHORT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T PLAY!"

"Whoa calm down, you little jackrabbit. It was just a question. Lord have mercy, you'd think I asked to slaughter your family or something." Tsukishima said, while donning his most serious and expectant face.

"Oh my god you're joking, right?" Hinata asked, looking at him warily.

"OF COURSE I WAS JOKING, YOU IDIOT!" Tsukishima shouted at him.

"Oh good. I didn't want to have to teach you a lesson or take you down or anything. No one messes with my family, no matter how tall and scary and hot they are." Hinata stopped speaking abruptly. "Oh god not again I'm never speaking again."

Tsukishima laughed quietly as he watched Hinata try to not blush, failing miserably.

"It's okay, Hinata. Really. It's not your fault that I'm gorgeous." he said, struggling to keep a straight face and also failing.

"Okay, you've worn out your welcome. It was nice meeting you, Tsukki." Hinata pushed him towards the front door, pausing to open it, and then pushed Tsukishima out the door "Have a nice day." he said, shutting the door in his face.

Tsukishima was stunned, to say the least. He knew he was an asshole, but he didn't mean to embarrass Hinata that badly. He wondered if he should knock on the door and apologize, but thought better of it. Turning to walk away, he had one hope.

That Hinata would find the paper he slipped into the smaller man's wallet with his number on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hinata leaned against the door with his back to it, taking a minute to breathe. He shouldn't have just thrown Tsukki out of his house like that.

"oh no oh fuck what if i never see him again then what will i do fuck fuck fuCK" Hinata whispered to himself, gradually getting louder. Moving as quick as possible, he turned around and wretched the door open. Looking both ways down the street, he searched for Tsukishima, but not finding him.

"FUCK!" he yelled, slamming his door. He walked back into the living room, shoulders sagging as he mentally kicked his own ass for what he did.

Sure, Tsukishima had been mean to him, but wasn't he used to people acting like that by now? And sure, the taller man had made a joke at his expense, but who hadn't. He usually just laughed along; most of them were funny anyway. It kinda just hit him harder than normal because he liked Tsukki.

Holy shit. He liked Tsukishima Kei.

Oh fuck. How could he like such an asshole. The man was literally a dick personified. He was too serious and seemed to have a scowl permanently etched onto his face and god his face was too perfect for this world and --

Dammit.

He really liked Tsukishima Kei.

Walking into the kitchen, he refilled his glass of water and then leaned back against the refrigerator. Glancing at his wallet, he noticed something sticking out of it. That asshole better not have went through his wallet.

Opening his wallet, he pulled the piece of paper out of it. In neat, slanted handwriting, It had Tsukishima's name written on it along with a series of numbers.

A series of numbers greatly resembling a phone number.

Oh shit.

It was Tsukishima's phone number.

Pulling out his phone, he saved the number in his contacts and then opened his messaging app.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsukishima walked into his house, closing the door behind him and locking the door. As he emptied his pockets and began placing the contents on the counter, his phone vibrated. He looked at the screen.

4 Unread Messages.

Opening them, he saw that they were all from an unknown number.

[from: Unknown Received: 5:32 PM]
Is this taco shell?

[from: Unknown Received: 5:33 PM]
**Tsukishima sorry. Auto correct.

[from: Unknown Received: 5:38 PM]
I feel so stupid.

[from: Unknown Received: 5:45 PM]
I really hope this is Tsukishima.

Tsukishima saved the number in his phone. He chuckled to himself as he typed up his reply.

[To: Hinata Sent: 5:47 PM]
No, this is Diane.

[To: Hinata Sent: 5:48 PM]
Yes, its me you idiot.

Walking into his kitchen with phone in hand, Tsukishima opened the refrigerator to find something to snack on. His phone buzzed in his hand.

[From: Hinata Received: 5:51 PM]
Are you sure? I don't remember Tsukki having a sense of humor.

[To: Hinata Sent: 5:54 PM]
I'm positive that this is TSUKISHIMA. My name is not Tsukki.

Tsukishima walked out of his kitchen and headed towards the bathroom. He'd had a long day and right now the only thing he wanted was a shower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hinata couldn't stop looking at his phone. It had been 21 minutes since he texted Tsukki, and he was still waiting for a reply. What could he be doing? Hinata opened up his messages to see if there was a possibility that he said something wrong.

[From: Tsuukkkii Received: 5:54 PM]
I'm positive that this is TSUKISHIMA. My name is not Tsukki.

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 5:56 PM]
But I like Tsukki.

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 5:57 PM]
I mean, I don't like you. I like the name.

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 5:58 PM]
Wait. I do like you. You're totally awesome and cute.

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 5:59 PM]
I'm going to go bury myself now. Bye.

So, yeah, he hadn't been the smoothest person, but hey, it wasn't his fault. Blame it on Tsukishima. Its all his fault. He's so cute that Hinata just gets flustered thinking about him, let alone talking to him.

Hinata's phone dinged. Bookmarking that train of thought for a later analysis, he opened the message.

[From: Tsuukkkii Received: 6:21 PM]
I was in the shower. Are you always this persistent?

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 6:22 PM]
Yeah, usually. Is it annoying?

[From: Tsuukkkii Received: 6:25 PM]
Slightly. It's also slightly endearing.

Hinata was grinning like a madman. Tsuki thought something about him was endearing.

Oh my god.

[From: Tsuukkkii Received: 6:26 PM]
And don't let that go to your head. I'm trying this new thing called being nice.

[To: Tsuukkkii Sent: 6:28 PM]
Oh really? I can't tell.

[From: Tsuukkkii Received: 6:30 PM]
Shut the fuck up, small fry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Week Later

Hinata was freaking out.

Hinata is always freaking out.

But this time, it was different.

He was going to ask Tsuki out on a date.

They had been texting all week. As he was getting to know Tsukishima, Hinata realized that the taller man did have a sense of humor, albeit a small and dry sense of humor.

As Hinata walked towards the pet store where Tsukishima worked, he was hoping that he put enough deodorant on this morning because he felt like he was sweating his ass off. After a quick check, he saw that it was just his imagination and that he was actually fine.

Opening the door and walking inside, Hinata glanced around, looking for Tsuki. The taller man was -- wait a minute -- he was surrounded by puppies. And he was smiling. What in the actual fuck. Hinata was frozen in shock.

"I'll be with you in just a second." Tsukishima called out, not looking up. Hinata watched as he started to stand up, puppies following him as he walked to the edge of the pin. The taller man stepped over the barrier and turned unsuspecting to his customer.

"And how can I help -- oh. It's you. What are you doing here?" Tsukishima inquired, looking at Hinata like the smaller man was some unknown specimen.

"W-Well I came to ask you a question but I saw you with the puppies and I didn't want to interrupt and I also couldn't speak because how are you so good with puppies when you're so terrible around people?"

"Puppies can't talk." Tsukishima replied. "What was your question?"

"I just really like talking to you and obviously you don't completely hate me because you text me back almost every time so I was just wondering if you would go on a date with me because I really like you and I think you're cute and yeah." Hinata rambled, finally able to stop the rainbow colored garbage flowing from his mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say Tsukishima was shocked would be an understatement. He figured that something was up with Hinata. The kid's face was a ghostly white and he was shaking slightly. He looked as if he was terrified of Tsukishima.

At that thought, he flashed Hinata a wide smile, chuckling slightly to himself.

"When?" Tsukishima asked, eyeing Hinata with mirth.

"U-Um... I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far. How about Friday night?"

Tsukishima knew that he was free Friday, but he wanted to make Hinata sweat a little. I mean, the man did punch him, so he was allowed a little payback, right? He stood there silently, pretending that he was debating on whether or not he really wanted to go. Studying Hinata, he noticed that his face was even paler and starting to turn a little bluish.

"Oh gosh are you even breathing? Yes I'll go with you, you tiny brained midget."

He watched as Hinata gasped in air, bending over to place his hands on his knees as if he had just finished a marathon. Panting, he replied.

"Good. That's. Good. So I'll. See you. Friday?"

"Yes."

Tsukishima watched as Hinata stared at him and then turned around and ran out of the store, tearing down the sidewalk. The taller man turned and stepped back into the pin.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Tsukishima asked the puppies, with a fond grin on his face.

 

FIN