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Matthew was holding hands! Holding hands with Jiwoong hyung! His boyfriend!
All that miscommunication had been sorted and Matthew would never fall into that trap again. Truly a cliche trope that Matthew’s eyes are opened to. Only clear and straightforward communication with his relationships from then on.
“What are you smiling like that for?” Jiwoong drew his attention back.
Matthew turned and smiled even wider at him. “What? I’m always smiling! That’s my thing, remember?”
“You just look a little… smug?”
“Don’t I have the right to be? I bagged a hottie,” Matthew laughed, pulling Jiwoong along with him out of the dorm room. The group had called them a few minutes ago, telling them to hurry up.
They had taken a couple moments to recompose themselves. Flatten the hair back down a little bit, readjust the collar of Jiwoong’s shirt. There was nothing to do about the flush on their faces, so they had just given up on looking totally presentable.
They caught up with the group just as they were walking out the dorms.
Matthew saw Ricky glance back at them, the last one out of the door, his eyebrow raised just a touch.
Oh.
Oh.
Jiwoong might have been a hottie that Matthew had bagged, but the knowledge that he was being perceived and known as an emotional person with romantically intimate feelings was apparently too much for him to bear.
Matthew dropped Jiwoong’s hand.
Jiwoong said, confused, “Matthew?”
But Matthew was just rushing out of the dorm with a “Come on, hyung!” thrown over his shoulder.
And sped out to join the group.
It wasn’t like he was embarrassed about hyung! He was embarrassed that everyone had known and now they’re all thinking finally or I told you so and that was a nightmare for Matthew.
Sorry, but people he was close to genuinely knowing Matthew’s feelings better than he even knew? Mortifying. Vomit inducing. His stomach actually hurt thinking about it.
That wasn’t good. Not good at all.
Matthew just said– just decided– no more miscommunication.
Was it miscommunication to just not say anything about this to Jiwoong? To ignore a problem until it went away?
Was that miscommunication by omission?
Matthew would think about it the entire way to the company.
The filming leader video didn’t take long, but to Matthew, it felt like eternity. All eyes felt like they were on Matthew and Jiwoong.
Jiwoong seemed to not even notice! Somehow perfectly fine with smiling so goofily at Matthew, grabbing his hand to play with his fingers as they talked about the plans for the videos. Matthew smiled back, but moved their joined hands beneath the table, away from the pointed stares.
The worst part wasn’t even the stares! Gyuvin and Gunwook kept shooting him– not at all subtle– thumbs up. They thought it was just hilarious when Matthew mouthed ‘fuck off’ at them. Hao hyung had noticed this exchange and segued the duo into a different conversation.
An angel. Matthew should have been kissing the ground that Zhang Hao walked on, but alas, Hanbin was already all over that.
Taerae was trying to catch his eyes and Matthew could see him trying to mouth something to him. The issue was Korean was not Matthew’s first language so lip reading was not high on his list of skills, so he just had to shoot Taerae confused looks until he gave up. He waved Matthew off, but he could tell that he would try to talk to Matthew again later. God, Matthew was dreading the cornering he was going to get.
At least, Ricky and Yujin seemed to be leaving him alone. Yujin just looked between him and the other members a few times.
Jiwoong sat next to him for the announcement filming too, and Matthew felt a fluttering in his chest when the hyung’s foot knocked against his own. Matthew shot him quick smiles between takes, thumping his feet back against his. He’s playing footsie with his boyfriend
The giddy nerves felt like they would overflow from Matthew’s throat, but he tried to just stomp it down. Not the time.
He had to play this all cool.
________
Matthew had more time to think after the shoot. Jiwoong was staying back for some sort of chat with management with Hanbin and Hao, so Matthew went back in a different van than him. Matthew crammed into the back, with only Yujin next to him.
He had hoped to put his thoughts together during the drive.
The eyes currently burning a hole in the side of his head disagreed.
“What, Yujinnie?” Matthew couldn’t even force himself to sound annoyed. It was more resigned.
“Are you okay, hyung?”
Matthew stopped. “Aren’t you going to ask about Jiwoong hyung and me?”
“Why would I do that? Did he make you sad?”
“What? No!” Matthew’s voice was a little louder then he meant it to be out of surprise. He made sure to lower it back to a whisper when he saw Gunwook turn back towards them with his eyebrows raised. “No, hyung is the best. Everyone has just seen me be an idiot for the last few days and they all want to hear about how… how…” Matthew had to swallow. Honestly had worked for Matthew previously. “Y’know how I like Jiwoong hyung, right? And we’re together now?” Matthew’s heart was beating a little too hard.
Yujin shrugged. “I thought maybe, but I didn’t want to assume anything, hyung.”
Matthew closed his eyes, head thumping back against the headrest. “Honestly, Yujinnie, you have a real way with words. Everyone was just assuming, and they might have been right, but hearing how dumb I am is humiliating. Like, how was I supposed to know, right?”
Yujin shrugged again. “Whatever you say, hyung.”
They were quiet together for a second.
Yujin leaned over to whisper again, a bit closer to Matthew’s ear. “But I’m very happy for you, hyung. If you’re happy with Jiwoongie hyung, then I’m happy.”
Matthew threw his arms around the maknae so quickly. “Jeez, you are so cute, I could just bite you! Just want to eat you whole!” He hugged him tight, head nuzzling in.
Yujin whined and tried to squirm away, “Hyung, go bite Jiwoong hyung or whatever you do together.”
It felt very easy to laugh at Yujin rather than feeling the self-consciousness that had been flooding him before.
That was what he was going to have to do.
He wasn’t going to be a plan guy anymore… Well, he hadn’t planned on being a plan guy… But this felt like a good moment for a plan. He wouldn’t be as strictly obsessed with it, but Matthew would be much more comfortable with something set out for him to reference. A list, not a plan.
So… What Matthew needed to do was:
- Confirm to everyone that Matthew wasn’t in love with Hanbin. It seemed like everyone knew that but it had to be confirmed.
- Announce the new relationship. Formally. To each member. It would confirmed the not in love with Hanbin thing.
- Stop being so awkward about holding Jiwoong’s hand.
He would be the opposite of the miscommunication trope.
He would be the effective communication trope.
_______
Matthew was stress sweaty. They hadn’t even practised, but with everyone’s eyes on him and that chat with Yujin, Matthew felt gross in his t-shirt.
The dorm only had two bathrooms, and only one of them had decent water pressure. The other group hadn’t gotten back yet, so it was the best time to try and snag the good shower.
Grabbing a towel from, Matthew rushed over. As luck would have it, the bathroom was empty.
Humming to himself, in a great mood suddenly, Matthew pulled his shirt off.
There was a quick, sharp knock on the bathroom door and before Matthew could shout an occupied, the bathroom door opened, and a figure slipped in. Matthew let out a little shriek, covered his chest with one arm, grabbing his towel to use as a whip.
“It’s just me,” Taerae rolled his eyes. “Don’t be dramatic.”
Matthew let his hands drop. “I’m sorry? Do you want the shower?”
“No, take your shower. I just want to talk,” Taerae hopped up on the bathroom vanity, crossing his legs.
He could guess what Taerae wanted to talk about. Matthew at least wouldn’t have to look at his face while they talked and this would be fantastic for his effective communication streak. Matthew’s hands went to the top of his jeans. “Look away.” Taerae rolled his eyes again but closed them.
Matthew finished undressing in a rush, turned on the shower and hopped in. He didn’t give it enough time to warm up, so he yelped at the cold.
The shower was one of those glass ones where the majority of it was frosted, but Matthew’s head could still be seen. He blasted the hot water, trying to work up a steam to fog up glass more.
“So…” Matthew drawls, having to talk a little louder for his voice to carry over the sound of the shower.
“So?” Taerae repeated. Matthew couldn’t really see him through the fogged glass but Matthew could just imagine the unimpressed look on his face from the tone of his voice. “So? This morning you shoved me against a wall and told me to go away so you could confess to Jiwoong.”
“Mhmm, yes, I did,” Matthew hummed as he began to lather some soap up. He was still going to have his shower.
“Oh, you’re such a bitch. How’d it go?” Taerae practically yelled, the sound bouncing off the tiles in the bathroom.
Matthew laughed. “Y’know… It happened.”
Okay, he was just being a bitch. Just because he was trying a new communication approach didn’t mean that he would be good at it right away.
Or that he just wouldn’t want to be a bitch to Taerae. It was funny!
“Matthew-ah, I will flush this toilet to make that a cold shower, I swear I will.”
Matthew laughed again, but didn’t test him. “No, no, fine. Sorry about the whole ‘pushing you against a wall’ thing, this morning. You’re a good friend, Taerae.”
“I know,” Taerae agreed, his voice teasing but they both knew it was the truth. “Now, tell this great, amazing friend how it went.”
Matthew began to wash his hair. “It went… well,” He started a little shyly. “I mean, I told him that I realised that I have feelings for him and he said he also had feelings for me…”
Taerae snorted, “Feelings, okay.”
“Yes, feelings! Then we, y’know, did what people with feelings would do and engaged in… a liplock.”
“What is wrong with you? This is like pulling teeth,” Taerae was giggling. The sound was very pleasant as it echoed around the bathroom. “Hey, can you just warn me before you guys fuck around in the room I share with hyung?”
What?!
Some water sprayed into Matthew’s mouth as he gasped. He was choking, coughing and spluttering out the water.
Shampoo suds slid down his face into his eyes. He was blinded.
His foot slipped as he twisted around. He was stumbling.
His hand slammed against the wall to catch himself. The sound was reverating.
His other hand found its way to the glass and wiped away some of the fog so that he could look at Taerae through his one open eye. The closed eye stung from the soap in it. His own friend! The other ‘02 liner had done this to him!
“What?!” Matthew had never felt so absolutely blindsided and horrified before in his life. “I don’t know what you think you’re thinking but I want you to stop thinking that!”
Taerae was cracking up. The sound was less welcome now.
Matthew had to wait for him to stop laughing. He took the time to splash the soap out of his eye and rinse his hair out.
“Okay, so where do you–” Matthew tried to restart when the laughter turned to more quiet gasps, but the indignation in his voice must have set Taerae off again. Tears were spilling from his eyes.
Matthew could have also cried but for a completely different reason.
He just continued with his shower as he waited for Taerae to calm himself down again.
“Sorry, sorry,” There was still a small bit of laughter in Taerae’s voice, but he was able to speak again. “You didn’t need to be so scandalised.”
“I’m not scandalised! Just surprised!” Matthew insisted. He was done washing himself, just standing under the spray as they spoke now.
“Okay, okay! I’m just saying that, if you guys need the room for anything, I’d like a heads up.”
Matthew shoved his face directly towards the spray. Maybe if he drowned himself he wouldn’t have to talk about this.
No, Matthew! Effective communication! Don’t forget!
Turning away to breathe again, Matthew spoke, “I appreciate it, but we are not, ah, that far in our relationship, but I’ll, uh, let you know.” Very professional, Matthew. He fiddled with the tap for a second before turning the water off. “Can you pass me my towel? I’m getting really pruney.”
Taerae snorted, but shoved his towel through a crack in the door.
Securing the towel around his waist, Matthew exited the shower.
“So…” Matthew drawled.
“You know, you don’t have to tell me if you’re just coming to our room to hang out,” Taerae said, his voice a little quieter than it had been. It seemed like he had more to say but didn’t continue immediately.
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
“Like, if you want to spend the night with Jiwoong just for sleeping or anything, that’s fine.”
“For sure, thanks for that.”
“Also, if you ever want to still have, y’know, ‘02 line sleepovers with me, that would also be cool..”
Oh!
“Aw, Taerae! Of course! We’ll have so many platonic sleepovers you’ll be sick of me,” Matthew threw himself at his friend, wrapping him up in a tight hug.
Taerae squawked, “Get off! You’re all wet!”
“Accept my love, Taerae!”
________
“This sort of stuff isn’t cringey for you?” Matthew asked, having to talk a little louder to be heard over the air. He had run into Jiwoong on the way to get a snack after getting dressed, and Jiwoong had taken one look at Matthew’s still dripping hair and ordered him to his room so he could dry it.
Matthew wasn’t about to say no to being pampered.
Jiwoong’s hand didn’t stop moving, shaking it way through Matthew’s hair. It was actually quite relaxing and Matthew felt himself melting back against Jiwoong a bit more.
“Who would cringe? Me? I like doing things like this for you. Are you cringing?” It took Matthew a second to realise that Jiwoong was waiting for a response. Matthew just shook his head, his hair winding a little more around Jiwoong’s fingers as he shifted against the motions of his hands.
“Then who? Other people?” Jiwoong turned off the dryer, setting it down on the bed. He was still running his fingers through Matthew’s hair though. Now free, his other hand was placed on the back of Matthew’s neck where it squeezed lightly. The hands didn’t stop their gentle ministrations, Matthew sinking further back against Jiwoong as he spoke again. “No one is here, but I wouldn’t actually care what they think anyway.”
Matthew’s eyelids fluttered softly when Jiwoong’s thumb dug into a particular tight spot at the base of his skull and the fingers in his hair tugged slightly. He swallowed and wet his lips. “God, you’re so mature and grown up, it’s so hot.”
Jiwoong laughed, his hands gradually moving from his head to Matthew’s shoulders, where they squeezed for a second, to finally cross over his chest in a loose embrace. He pulled Matthew back against him even more, and Matthew’s head thunked softly against Jiwoong’s stomach.
“You don’t think you’re mature?” Jiwoong asked. Matthew tipped his head back to look up at him. Ew, even from this odd angle Jiwoong was perfect. If Matthew didn’t like him so much it would probably make him angry.
“Do you think I’m mature?” His voice was incredulous even to his own ears. “I make ridiculous plans, have said the stupidest shit and had to have Gyuvin and Gunwook lay things out for me. I don’t know if you’re blinded by how cute I am and I’m worried you’ll eventually realise that I’m actually ridiculously immature.”
Jiwoong smiled, leaning down and pecked Matthew on the forehead. “You are very cute, but you’re also a great planner, so you’re organised and have initiative. You have an out of the box way of thinking, making everything you say so interesting. I also love seeing how you interact with the maknaes. Like how I’ve seen you with Yujin lately.”
Matthew whined and twisted around a little bit in Jiwoong’s arms. Squirming up, he fumbles his way into sitting sideways between Jiwoong’s legs. Matthew's head rested against his shoulder. “Oh my God, hyung, you like me so much it’s embarrassing,” He teased.
“Shut up.” Jiwoong playfully tugged on Matthew’s ear, his hand stayed on the side of his neck after..
“Apparently, you just love everything I’m saying because it’s so interesting” Matthew glanced up, and spotted the light red dusting Jiwoong’s cheeks.
“Okay, well, are you going to tell me what you like about me?”
“Nope!” He grinned cheekily. “Today is about me. It needs to be a time just about you when I pull out my list!”
“Is there actually a list?”
Matthew looked at him, unbelieving. “Of course, there is.”
After that, the rest of their evening was followed by watching more of Jiwoong’s dramas, Matthew giggling every time Jiwoong would just absolutely devour his co-stars, and when it was time for bed, Matthew went back to his own room.
________
“Matthew hyung?”
Matthew startled from where he was rummaging in the fridge. “Oh, Ricky, I didn’t know you got back! How was the filming?” Matthew ripped the foil seal off the cheese snack he had gotten out of the fridge.
“Jiwoong hyung is back too.”
“Okay?” Matthew drawled, waiting for more.
Ricky just stared at him, expression indiscernible.
“The filming went well with Jiwoong hyung, then? Our TikTok was silly so it was much faster to wrap up then the dancing ones,” Matthew laughed, dipping one of the crackers in the artificial cheese.
“It was fine,” Ricky replied.
“Did you want to talk about something, Ricky?”
“Jiwoong hyung talked about you the entire time.” Matthew’s cracker broke in the cheese.
Guess it was time to have the talk with Ricky.
“Wanna come with me to the store?” Matthew slammed down the rest of his cheese and crackers.
Ricky just shrugged and they popped on some masks and hats and were out the door.
See, Matthew was very much a ‘we have food at home’ kind of hyung, but that was only because he was cheap. He actually loved convenience store food.
Grabbing a couple cups of ramyeon– Matthew insisted on being a good hyung and paying– and standing at the window bench, silence fell over them. Matthew glanced at Ricky a few times, who was just happily eating away.
“We really have to beat these awkward coworker allegations,” Matthew joked, taking the lid completely off his cup, blowing on the contents lightly.
“I think you’re the one that’s enforcing that, hyung,” Ricky said, bending over and slurping up his noodles. Not even flinching at the heat. Incredible. Was he fireproof too?
“Oh, so it’s just me being a bad hyung then?”
Ricky glanced at him and just hummed, but Matthew could see the sides of his corners of his lips turn up.
“I spend my hard earned money to buy my baby, Ricky, dinner,” Matthew gestured at the cup. “And this is the thanks I get?”
“Could have sprung for pizza or something if you wanted to gossip about Jiwoong hyung.”
Matthew gasped. The gall!
“Well– You don’t– I mean!” Matthew stuttered out. He took a second to calm himself again. Remember, Matthew: Clear, effective communication. “So… What do you know about Jiwoongie hyung and me?”
“I wasn’t really sure about anything until now.”
Huh?
“Really? Everyone seemed to have known at least a little bit.” Matthew must have sounded a bit surprised because Ricky turned and gave him an unimpressed look.
“I’m not stupid, hyung. I knew you had some sort of crush on Jiwoong hyung. I just didn’t know if he felt the same way.”
“Everyone else was telling me that Jiwoong was obvious.” Matthew was very interested in hearing this other point of view, even if it was more embarrassing.
“Thinking back now, I guess so. He was more natural about it all though. I could have seen it like him just trying to be a good hyung or something. But you…” He trailed off.
“What about me?”
Ricky rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.” Matthew went to object but Ricky just continued. “Today, though, Jiwoong was bringing you up so much that I thought they must have gotten their shit together. And I guess you did.” Ricky was playing with the packaging of his food. There was much less of a teasing in his voice now.
“I guess that’s one way to put it.” Matthew’s food was absolutely getting cold by now. “Are you okay with that, Ricky?”
“You’re not going to just hog each other now, right?” Ricky’s voice was very quiet, a little embarrassment colouring his words. His ears were a light red.
Jeez, how had Matthew not noticed how cute Ricky was? He felt like he had to bite his tongue to not coo at him.
Oh, Ricky was just a cute little baby.
“Are you worried that your hyungs are going to forget about little, Ricky? We would never!” Matthew wrapped an arm around Ricky, side hugging him. “Just look at Hanbinnie and Hao!”
“Awful examples,” Ricky groaned, trying to pull out of his arms but Matthew held tight.
“Oh yeah, horrible, vomiting worthy. How are they still in their honeymoon phase, right?” Matthew was offtrack. He had to get back to the point he was trying to make. “But they’re still always available! Honestly, I went to both of them when I was struggling with all the Jiwoong stuff. They like tag team this hyung stuff now. It’s very efficient!”
Ricky puffed out a little laugh.
“Also, Jiwoong and I won’t be half as unbearable as them!”
“Only because of Jiwoong.”
Matthew backed out of the side hug just to give Ricky a smack on the arm. “Not true!”
“Eat your noodles, hyung,” Ricky looked pointedly down at the uneaten food. Matthew relented, completely releasing his hold on him. They were cold.
Matthew felt a hand reach out and tug the bottom of his sweatshirt, holding onto it while he ate.
So baby coded.
________
It might have seemed boring, but Matthew’s favourite activity to do with Jiwoong was just hang out in one of their rooms, cuddle and watch something on their phones or laptops. They were already running around for schedules and practice so much that just being able to do nothing with Jiwoong felt fantastic.
So, it wasn’t a surprising sight to see them lying together on Jiwoong’s bed, laptop pushed to the side, paused on some movie credits.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” Matthew asked, breaking the quiet that had settled over them. “About you liking me? Like before?” He had been wondering why. It would have saved them a bunch of time and embarrassment if someone was just direct with him sooner.
Someone besides Gunwoon and Gyuvin because Matthew would be living that mortifying encounter down for the rest of his time in this group and possibly beyond.
There were all the times he cut Hao hyung off when he would try to tell Matthew but… Semantics.
“I thought I was being pretty obvious,” Jiwoong rolled his eyes.
“Well, obviously you weren’t!”
“We were cuddling all the time and I would ask you to do things alone. I made you coffee!”
“Everyone on this team is cuddly! I cuddled Ricky like an hour ago. Doing things alone? That is not very specific and you made me coffee once.”
“People usually just like me! Is that what you want me to admit? I usually don’t have to work that hard. I just expected you to fall head over heels, I guess.” Jiwoong sounded resigned as he flopped on his back, his arm over his eyes.
“I mean, that is horribly embarrassing to admit, yes. But I did, I mean, I do like you!” Matthew tugged on the arm over Jiwoong’s face, but it wouldn’t budge.
“People usually realise that they like me!”
Oh, yeah.
“Oh, yeah…” Matthew acknowledged. “Yeah, you got me there.”
“I also told you I loved you, kind of…”
“I did think you were just comforting me and not confessing actual love for me…”
“I was comforting you… I just also piggybacked some sort of awful confession on top of it.”
“I was crying in the bathroom during practice; probably wasn’t the best place for it, but it did make me feel better.” Matthew cuddled in, laying his head on Jiwoong’s chest. A hand came up to pat through his hair, he sighed into it.
“Hey, so you know how I’ve been trying direct and clear communication?” Matthew asked.
Jiwoong made a noise of acknowledgement. “Mhmm, the effective communication trope. How’s that going?”
He even remembered the name of it. Truly the perfect man.
“Good, yeah good. I’ve been talking with everyone and it’s making me less mortified at the idea of PDA,” Matthew replied before bringing up what he actually wanted to talk about. “But, actually, I wanted to ask you something.”
Jiwoong hummed.
“So, you know how I just said everyone is so cuddly? Well, I thought about it, and realised I don’t know if that makes you uncomfortable or not… Like, are you going to be jealous or anything?” Matthew rushed all that out.
Jiwoong just snorted, “No.”
“No? Just no? Remember we had our miscommunication storyline because you were jealous of Hanbinnie.”
“That’s not 100% what it was, but fine, let’s go with that,” Jiwoong said, amused. “But no, we’ve talked about how you feel about Hanbin, I trust you, and I know you like me. Why would I ask you to stop your platonic sleepovers?”
“Oh good, I really didn’t want to.”
“I’m never going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, Matthew.”
“I would stop them if they did make you uncomfortable though.”
“Okay, but they don’t, so don’t stop them.”
“I’m just making sure we know that I would be sacrificial for this relationship.”
“Please do not sacrifice anything for me, Matthew.”
“Alright, hyung, as long as you understand just how selfless I am.”
“I do.”
“Good.”
They went back to a pleasant quiet between them.
Just totally serene and perfect until…
“Come cook dinner with me,” Jiwoong patted Matthew’s side and started disengaging from the cuddle.
“What? No,” Matthew whined and tried to hold on tighter.
“C’mon, it’ll be fun,” Jiwoong tried to persuade. “I’ll do most of the work. You can just look cute in an apron and cut onions.”
Matthew groaned, but he did start to let go. “That’s the worst job and you know it.”
Jiwoong laughed, “You can just pass me things and taste test for me, then.”
“No, no, I’ll cut the stupid onions.” Matthew stood up and stretched. “Let’s go.”
________
Someone was pinching Matthew’s cheek. He flinched his head away from the hold, frowning. His eyes cracked open to see two heads perched on the side of his bed, four eyes wide as they stared at him.
Matthew was pretty proud that he didn’t scream, but that was really just a testament to how desensitised to Gunwook and Gyuvin he had become.
Flopping onto his back, Matthew groaned out, “What? What time is it?”
“It’s six,” Gyuvin replied.
Matthew didn’t even have a chance to feel outraged at being woken up two hours earlier than he needed to be.
“Why haven’t you told us how it went with Jiwoong hyung?” Gunwook asked. Matthew could hear the pout in his voice.
“Yeah! We were the ones that gave you all that advice but you haven’t even told us what happened!” Gyuvin’s whine was so close to his ear Matthew had to shift further away to protect them.
Reaching up to rub the sleep out of his eyes, Matthew yawned out his response, “I was getting around to it, but I kind of thought you guys already knew.”
“We do, but we wanted you to tell us.”
Brats.
Sitting up, Matthew arranged his pillows so that he was propped against them. “Fine, damn, what do you want to know?”
They took this as an invitation and suddenly Matthew had two wiggly, oversized puppies in his lap. Gyuvin was pressed against side, head on Matthew’s stomach, while Gunwook just got comfortable with his head directly on Matthew’s lap.
Matthew would have found it cuter if it wasn’t dawn.
“Did you just go and kiss him?” Gyuvin asked, his arm squirming over to lay over Matthew’s hips.
“What?”
“Like we told you to; did you just go up and kiss, Jiwoong hyung?”
“I bet he did,” Gunwook interjected. “Jiwoong’s been in such a good mood since then.”
Matthew’s face was burning.
Clearing his throat, Matthew answered, “Well, actually, we had a really nice adult conversation and worked everything out between us by talking.”
“They totally made out,” Gyuvin whispered to Gunwook as if Matthew couldn’t hear them.
“For sure,” Gunwook agreed.
Matthew groaned, flopping back harder against the pillows behind him. This was feeling strangely reminiscent of the last time he was cornered by these two.
When they helped him… figure everything out.
Ugh.
Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, Matthew considered the situation.
“I guess, I should, ah, thank both of you.” They stopped whispering immediately. Matthew opened his eyes again and saw them both looking up at him, surprise evident in their faces. “I mean, you two did what no one else did– be really, really direct.”
“So you could say, we’re like your fairy godmothers or something, huh?” Gyuvin laughed, the arm around his hips hugging tighter.
“Well, I mean,” Matthew looked down at how pleased they both looked and relented. “Sure.” Matthew patted both of their heads. They were lapping up the attention.
Gyuvin was the one that ruined the nice moment. “So, if you’re with Jiwoong hyung now… And you’re younger than him… Are you like his sugar baby?”
Matthew choked. “What?”
Gunwook jumped in. “No, that would mean that hyung is spending money on Matthew hyung.” Gunwook has the nerve to look up for approval. “More like a trophy wife, right hyung?”
“No!” Matthew practically shouted, ripping his hands off their heads. They were both grinning at Matthew.
“So, you’re like our stepmom now or what?”
“Is Jiwoong hyung a cougar?”
“Get out of my bed!”
________
Just right in the middle of the living room, Zhang Hao and Sung Hanbin decided to be just disgusting. How Ricky had thought that he and Jiwoong would ever compare was crazy.
Matthew stood in the archway, watching, horrified.
The couple had study books splayed out on the coffee table. Sitting on the floor, they were both periodically scribbling something and giggling.
That was not the bad part.
Matthew heard Hanbin say something in Chinese to Hao, whose ears were deep red. Hao nodded and said back, in Korean, “Cute.” Hanbin scribbled something down, ducking his head and smiling as he started to blush. He said it again in English, cute.
Then it repeated, the next word was lovely.
They were studying, but somehow making it flirty? They somehow made flirting super lame and dorky.
Matthew was so close to calling the police. The whole scene felt illegal somehow.
It didn’t feel like the right moment to interrupt them, but really they were always doing some cringy shit like that so Matthew had to just take the chance at this point. He had not been able to complete his conversation circuit yet. This was the last stop too.
Clearing his throat, Matthew took a step further into the room.
Hanbin looked up, beaming. “Mattchu! Would you like to study with us? You can help us with our English.”
Hao smiled softly at him.
Not an ounce of embarrassment in either of them. It was truly impressive.
“Ah, no, I’m good on the studying,” Matthew replied, sitting on the couch. He took a deep breath. “I actually wanted to talk.”
Hanbin and Hao both flashed each other quick glances, Hao nodded quickly, and they were both sitting on either side of Matthew in a flash.
Hao took one of Matthew’s hands and Hanbin wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
What the hell?
“Did you want to talk to us about Jiwoong?” Hao asked, his thumb was gently stroking the top of Matthew’s hand.
The quickness and synchrony that they moved with was a surprise, but this was actually very comforting, wow.
“Ah, yes, how did you know?” Matthew felt like something was in the back of his throat.
“Last time you came and found us to talk, it was also about Jiwoong,” Hanbin supplied, his arm tightened around him.
“Did he do something?” Hao sounded a little more intense than usual. A little heated, maybe. Matthew was confused.
“Um, no? He didn’t do anything.”
“Did he reject you?” Hanbin gasped.
“What? No!”
“Then what happened?” Hao’s voice was gentler again. Reassuring.
Oh, Matthew understood.
“I see, you two think I’m here to cry about Jiwoong hyung again,” Matthew realised. He used his free hand to pat Hao’s. “Do not worry! Jiwoongie hyung and I are very happy. I was just coming to tell you that we’re together now.”
Hanbin’s arm loosened around Matthew a little. He sounded a little confused when he spoke, “Yes, we knew that. You came to us crying before rushing off to see him, and then you’ve been happy together the last few days, so we just assumed.”
“Yeah, it seemed like almost everyone already knew, but I just wanted to confirm that everyone is on the same page.” Matthew smiled at both of them. They shot each other another look.
“Okay, noted.” Hanbin nodded, crowded a little closer to Matthew.
“You’ve been alright? Jiwoong’s been nice?” Hao prompted. They both were talking very carefully.
“Oh, yeah! It’s so much more fun to be around him now that I get why I was always so sweaty and nervous,” Matthew laughed. He was much less sweaty and nervous now. An appropriate amount of sweat and nervousness for how handsome Jiwoong was. “He thinks everything I do is cute, which is great, and he’s not actually the jealous type, which is also great for my platonic sleepover agenda! I think we’re nailing this relationship thing.”
It did feel nice to gush about Jiwoong. It would feel wrong to do so with the maknaes, but with his hyungs it felt easy.
Matthew could feel Hao relax.
“And that’s great to hear, Matthew,” Hao leaned more against him, Hanbin’s arm reaching across Matthew’s back to stroke his neck. “We’re glad you’re happy.”
Matthew hummed, leaning more into Hao, “I am.”
________
“Would you rather eat a used condom off the street or drink a diarrhoea milkshake?”
“What?”
“It’s a game my friends and I used to play! C’mon, used condom or drink a diarrhoea milkshake?” Matthew tugged on Jiwoong’s arm, trying to pester him into answering.
He took a second to think about it. “Condom.”
“Yeah, that’s the right answer.”
“How is there a right answer?”
“One’s gross.”
“They’re both gross.”
“Well, one is obviously grosser.”
Jiwoong snorted.
This street was relatively empty late at night, especially on a weeknight. Matthew felt a little brave.
His hand reached out for Jiwoong. His hand met another that was already reaching for him.
“Hey, so you remember when I said I had a list?”
“Of what? Gross questions to ask me?”
“No!” Matthew giggled. He was swinging their clasped hands between them. He felt a little bit giddy. He had completed a plan! Successfully! The whole house was absolutely aware that he wasn’t in love with Hanbin and currently with Jiwoong. The feeling of achievement was staggering.
But really, Matthew still needed to talk to one more person.
“Then a list of what, Mattchu?”
“A list of things that I like about you, hyung!” Jiwoong squeezed his hand a little.
“Matthew, you don’t…”
“No, I know! I’m just in a good mood and wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you, hyung.” Matthew stopped walking, prompting Jiwoong to stop and look at him. “You know how I was being extra clear with my communication?”
“The effective communication, yes, I remember,” Jiwoong nodded seriously. Fuck, he was even so considerate of Matthew’s stupid plans.
“So, I was super direct and I talked to everyone about, y’know, us, but I realised I haven’t talked to you about us yet!”
“Matthew, I know we’re dating.”
“I know!”
“And I know that you aren’t secretly in love with Hanbin, so if you’re still worried about that–”
Matthew cut him off. “No, I know that! I just want to make sure you know how much I like you!” Matthew didn’t mean to shout that part, but he was getting a little worked up.
Jiwoong looked a little stunned, then laughed, relenting. “Okay, I won’t stop you then.” He tugged on Matthew to start them walking again.
“Good, good,” Matthew nodded to himself as he sorted out his thoughts. He didn’t think Jiwoong would be so reluctant about getting a couple compliments.
“Alright, so I don’t have a physical list. But don’t worry, it’s all up here,” Matthew tapped the side of his head.
“Was there enough room?”
“Shhh,” Matthew held a finger up. “Don’t tease me when I’m about to be super nice to you.”
Jiwoong mimed zipping his lips.
“Okay, better,” He nodded. “So where to start?”
This was easier to do in his head.
“So, uh, yeah! Let’s start with the obvious; you’re really hot. Like, ridiculously good looking. It feels unfair that we look at you for free, and I get to look at you extra? That’s crazy.” Matthew saw Jiwoong smirk just a little bit out of the corner of his eye. Matthew had to look away for the rest of this.
“You’re multi-talented! Singing, dancing, acting, uh, cycling, other sports… Kissing men! That last one might not sound like a talent, but I've seen you do it on screen and experienced it myself. You’re definitely in the top ranks for that one.” Jiwoong hummed. Matthew thought it was an amused hum. Well, he hoped so.
“You’re just the best hyung this group could ask for. You look after all of us, you even feed us and deal with us being little shits. And you’re such a fantastic support for Hanbin and I can tell he appreciates it so much. I mean, I also appreciate it so much, but I love seeing how you’re loved by all the members too,” Matthew was accidentally moving off track, but he just had so much to say.
“Taerae loves you as a roommate. He always talks about how respectful and fun and sweet you are. That you guys will sing together when he pulls out his guitar. God, that's so cute!” He was really gushing now. “Oh, and I was talking to Ricky the other day, and he just looks up to you so much, and it’s so sweet.”
Reel it in, Matthew!
“Sorry, sorry! This is supposed to be about what I like about you! I’ll try and keep it on track. Okay, um, next is…Oh! I like that you never seem mad that I mispronounce your name. That you instead find it cute. It’s cute that you think it’s cute! I like that you laugh with me.” Matthew smiled to himself.
Being with Jiwoong hyung really did feel like dating one of his best friends. Not in the weird way like if Matthew did actually date Hanbin, because that’s disgusting, but in a way where they could laugh and joke, and confide in each other and problem solve together. It’s what Matthew always wanted in a relationship.
“What I’m trying to say is you’re so uniquely adorable and goofy but it’s wrapped up in this amazingly talented, smart, thoughtful hyung and I’m so lucky that you want me.” They had been slowing down the entire time Matthew was talking, so they took one more step before coming to a stop. “So yeah, that’s about it! Hopefully, that was– Are you crying?!”
Matthew had been too embarrassed to look at Jiwoong while he was gushing about him, so colour him surprised to see the tear streaking down his face now.
“That was not what I was expecting,” His voice broke a bit. “It was very… specific.”
Matthew’s heart couldn’t handle it!
Jiwoong wouldn’t let go of his hand, so Matthew just used his one free one to wipe the tears away.
“Aw, hyung is just a big baby, huh?” Matthew cooed, keeping his voice very light.
“I’m just very in touch with my emotions.” Jiwoong pouted just a tiny bit, but Matthew could see the smile in his eyes.
“Well that’s good, because we both know that I’m not,” Matthew joked. His hand stayed on Jiwoong’s face, his thumb still stroking his cheek even though there were no more tears. “Let’s get back to the dorm so no fans see this crying face.”
“I thought you said I was ridiculously handsome?”
“You are. If they see you like this they’ll try and steal you from me.”
“Impossible.”
“Yeah, I know.” And they walked back, hand in hand.
