Chapter Text
“So the farmer was hollering and trying to call him back, right? But he was off! He chased the sheep to the edge of the field and gave its bum a nip! Can you believe it?”
“Bandit, I think you’re watching too much reality TV.” Chilli sighed, opening the dishwasher. A plume of steam caused her glasses to fog up, clouding her vision. “Every. Single. Time”, she muttered to herself.
“It’s a good show!” Bandit protested. He bent down to pull out a couple of plates from the bottom rack, immediately feeling a twinge in his coccyx. He knew he shouldn’t have agreed to a round of Badminton with Stripe. Yet kicking his little brother’s arse at competitive sports had always been one of his favourite hobbies, and he wasn’t about to relinquish that joy just because he was the wrong side of sixty.
“I tell ya what Chilli, age doesn’t come alone, does it?” he winced as he twisted a little too fast while stacking the crockery in the cupboard.
“Tell me about it,” she responded, using a tea towel to wipe the condensation off her varifocals. Vision restored, she looked on in concern at Bandit rubbing his lower back. “I can finish up here, love. Would you hang out the laundry? It should be done by now.”
“Sure thing, babe,” Bandit responded, though he secretly wondered whether the exertion of hanging washing on the line would irritate his dodgy back even more.
For Bandit and Chilli, their days typically passed in a metronomic rhythm of quiet domesticity. Chilli had recently stepped down from her role as Director of Security at the airport, and was instead working part time in a consultancy role. This seemed to provide Chilli with the best of both worlds, allowing her to impart her expert knowledge on her own terms–and get paid handsomely for the privilege–while also having ample time to pursue her various hobbies and passions.
Despite his settled life, Bandit currently felt like he was in a state of flux. He had recently decided to retire from field work, the exertions of days on-site in exotic locations proving a little too much for him. Though he still worked for the university, splitting his time between teaching and writing endless grant proposals, he had been toying with the idea of retiring altogether. The trouble with academia was that it was never possible to just switch off. Whether he was mowing the lawn, prepping dinner, or snuggling on the couch with Chilli, thoughts of his research ran through his mind continuously. Though he had loved his life's work and felt immensely privileged, he wondered if it was possible to go a single day without thinking about bones.
"Hey deep blue" Chilli clicked her fingers, snapping Bandit out of his daydream. He snapped his head around to look at his wife. "Laundry", she reminded him.
"Sure, I'm just gonna grab a water first."
Bandit was at the sink when he heard the front door click open.
“The lovebirds are here.” Chilli announced, inspecting a fork for spots. Yet no declaration was needed. Laughter rang through the house as their youngest daughter and her girlfriend stepped through the doorway. One of them let out a high-pitched shriek as they made their way up the stairs.
Despite their new moniker, not a lot had actually changed between Bingo and Lila since they had become an item. They had always been closer than close, orbiting each other with natural synchronicity. Only now the requisite teasing was a little more flirtatious, the playful touches a little more deliberate. Though admittedly pashing by the fish pond was a relatively new development.
"I can't believe you're so CHEAP!" Lila exclaimed, giggling as she stepped onto the upstairs landing.
"Excuse me," Bingo responded, emerging through the doorway. "But who is gonna pay you 20 million dollarbucks to lick a toilet seat? At least my price is more realistic!"
"Okay girls I'm gonna need some context," Chilli looked on at the young couple in amusement, tea towel in hand.
"Oh we're playing 'would you lick…'" Lila stated casually.
It was the worst possible moment for Bandit to take a sip of his water, as he sprayed the contents across the kitchen counter. "Um… What?!" he spluttered, between coughs.
Bingo calmly handed her dad the roll of kitchen paper. "Basically, we think up something disgusting, like a battery or the bottom of a shoe, and we say how much you'd have to pay us to lick it."
"Okay…" Chilli eyed her daughter dubiously.
"It turns out that Bingo has a worryingly low threshold when it comes to these sorts of things." Lila revealed, taking the kitchen roll off Bandit and putting it back in the cupboard. "She said she would peel a piece of gum off the pavement and chew it for a thousand dollarbucks." The maltese wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"No!" Bingo protested, "I didn't say I would chew it for a thousand, just lick it…"
"Whatever, you're still a dirty grub", Lila teased.
Bingo took Lila by the hand, pulling the white dog towards her and into her arms. "Shut up, you love it…" the heeler whispered.
"Yea, I kinda do," Lila giggled, melting into the embrace.
Bandit averted his gaze as the two girls shared a smoochy kiss in the centre of the kitchen. Chilli just worked around the pair, reaching behind an oblivious Bingo to wipe the kitchen counter.
Lila eventually peeled herself away from Bingo with a beatific smile. “Anyway, where are my manners? Hi Chilli, Bandit.”
"Hey! So, what have you girls been up to today?" Bandit loved his daughter dearly, but he was eager to steer the conversation away from what she would and wouldn't lick for money.
The two girls shared a look. "Well, are you gonna tell them?" Lila asked, nudging the red heeler gently in the ribs.
Bandit stopped and took notice, as did Chilli. Bingo turned to her parents, smiling.
"Okay two things. First-we’ve found a place to live!"
"That’s amazing!" Chilli exclaimed, she moved forward to hug both girls, one after the other.
"It's a one-bed in Toowong. We got the notification this morning, booked a viewing immediately and took it on the spot!" Bingo was jubilant, tail wagging with excitement. "We’ve just been to sign the rental agreement, we move the first of the month!"
It shouldn't have been a surprise, as the girls had been saving for the apartment deposit for a few months now. Yet Bandit was still taken aback by the news. It felt like only days since Bingo had boomeranged back into their old Queenslander home, fresh from her travels around Europe. He had enjoyed having her under their roof again, filling the space with laughter, and the silly songs she composed while pottering around the house.
"I’ll send you the link, Chilli. It's a little, well, compact, but it’s so cute and the kitchen is pristine." Lila was beaming from ear to ear.
"It won't stay like that with Bingo around…" Bandit muttered. He fleetingly recalled Bingo’s puppyhood, how she used to burrow into dusty spaces, splash around in the mud and drink fountain water off the tarmac. Lila was right; his daughter really was a grub.
"I'm so happy for you both, I know you've been saving really hard for this." Chilli smiled as she continued working her way around the kitchen.
As Bingo and Lila excitedly chatted away about the apartment and the building amenities, something occurred to Bandit.
"So Bingo, you said that you had two things to tell us. What was the other thing?"
The young couple stopped in their tracks, sharing a silent exchange. Bandit noticed that Bingo and Lila did this a lot. They seemed to have a near-telepathic connection, no doubt the result of growing up so intertwined.
"Well, um…" Lila began shyly.
Bingo suddenly held her left hand up to her face. The stone on her ring refracted the afternoon sun, casting sparkling orbs across the refrigerator. "Lila proposed to me!"
Bandit's jaw dropped to the floor. He looked over at Chilli, who was standing by the dishwasher with a stunned expression that must have mirrored his own.
"And Bingo said yes," Lila piped up. "Just in case there was any doubt."
Despite the shock, Bandit and Chilli both sprang to action, hugging and congratulating the happy couple. Bandit wrapped his arms around his youngest daughter, noticing the tears pooling in her eyes."Can you believe it?" she squealed. Truth be told, he couldn't.
Bandit put the kettle on as the girls recounted the proposal. It turned out that the engagement wasn't exactly a new development. Lila had proposed in Canada, just days before Bluey's wedding.
"Wait, so you've been keeping this under wraps for nearly two months?" Chilli exclaimed. She didn't seem upset, just bewildered. Bandit meanwhile was still in a state of shock. Bingo was far too young to be thinking about marriage, right?
"We wanted to wait until after the dust had settled with Bluey's wedding." Bingo explained, sliding her arm around Lila's waist.
"Also I needed to get Bingo's ring resized. It was a little snug." Lila explained.
"Yea, stupid stubby fingers," Bingo frowned at her free hand.
"Hey, I happen to like your stubby fingers," Lila responded, grasping Bingo's hand.
Bandit was just glad he wasn't drinking anything this time. Instead he exchanged a glance with Chilli, whose eyebrows were practically on the ceiling.
"But your fingers are so precious and dainty." Bingo cooed, playing with Lila's hand.
"Can we see your ring, Lila?" Chilli asked.
Bingo's smile dropped. "Actually, Lila doesn't have a ring," she responded, staring down at her feet.
Lila took notice of the shift in Bingo, gently tilting the heeler's chin upwards. "I don't need a ring", she smiled. "You've already given me everything I could ever want…"
Chilli smiled over her cup of tea. "Aww, you two…"
"Besides", Lila added, "Bingo's promised me breakfast in bed at least once a week! Chilli, this girl makes the most amazing omelettes."
“She learnt that from me.” Chilli remarked. Bandit grimaced at the memory of little Bingo wreaking havoc in the kitchen all those years ago, and of all the bits of egg shell he had had to pick out of his breakfast.
"Really? Can YOU move in with us?" Lila quipped.
"No chance, she's mine!" Bandit cried out.
The girls stayed for a little longer to help Bandit put out the laundry. He was grateful for the help, though he did get some gentle teasing from his daughter about the circumstances that led to his back injury. "I still can't believe you tried to breakdance at the wedding reception."
"I didn't try, Bingo. I succeeded." Though he'd been a bit pissed, Bandit remembered the plaudits and laughter, particularly from Jean-Luc's mum Noelle, who couldn't quite believe the wild antics of the Australian in-laws.
Bingo handed her dad the empty washing basket. "We'd best head off, Dad. We're gonna head over to Lila's to tell her family!"
"Ah well, send my love to Sheila. Will you be back for dinner, Bingo?”
"Actually we’ve booked a hotel for tonight. To celebrate." Bingo replied coyly. The gentle wag of her tail betrayed her excitement. Lila averted her gaze, abashed.
“Okay, say no more," Bandit smiled. "See you tomorrow. And congratulations again, you two.”
As Bandit stepped back into the house, he spotted Chilli watching the happy couple through the bay window, as they shared a tender moment outside Lila's car. "Remember when we were all over each other like that?"
Bandit looped his arm around his wife's waist. "What are you talking about, babe? We're still like that!"
This earnt a snort from Chilli, though she leaned into his embrace as she continued to stare out of the window.
"How do you feel about all this?" Bandit asked, testing the waters.
"Well, it seems a little sudden, but look how happy they are." Bingo looked up and spotted her parents through the window, giving an enthusiastic wave as she climbed into the passenger seat.
Bandit sighed as he waved back. "But they're only 24. And they've been together, what, 6 months? Don't you think that's too soon?"
"8 months.” Chilli corrected. "But remember they’re on lesbian time, so that’s practically aeons for them. Besides, they've known each other their whole lives. And it doesn’t sound like they're in a rush to actually get married."
"I guess… it's just, they've still got so much growing to do." Bandit reflected on when he was Bingo's age. No way would he have been ready for the commitment of a 6-month lease and a fiancée. His only real commitment in those days was to the kebab shop around the corner. While Bingo was infinitely more sensible than he had been in his 20s, he didn't want her to rush through life before she'd had a chance to fully live it.
"Well, they can grow together. Just as they've always done." Chilli soothed, taking Bandit's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Bandit nodded, comforted by the wise sentiment; Chilli always knew the right thing to say.
"What do you wanna do now, babe?" Bandit asked.
Chilli contemplated for a moment. "Well, I for one have had too much excitement for today. I'd very much like to snuggle down on the sofa and watch something mindless on TV."
"Good thinking. If we hurry we might be able to catch the tail end of Border Collie Force California."
Chilli rolled her eyes, but Bandit knew she secretly enjoyed the trashy reality TV programs. He often caught her glancing surreptitiously at the action while pretending to read her latest paperback novel.
They had just moved into the living room when the FaceyTalk jingle rang out through the tablet charging in the corner. The lock screen illuminated, showing Bluey and Jean-Luc on their wedding day.
"Hmm, were we expecting a call from Bluey today?" Bandit asked, reaching for the tablet.
"I don't think so", Chilli responded. "At least not at this hour."
Bandit fumbled with the lock screen, setting the tablet down on the table as Bluey came into view. It was dark where she was, but a bright floor lamp cast a yellowish glow upon her. She was sitting ramrod straight on her couch, as if she was about to take a job interview.
"Hey Bluey, how are you doing, sweetheart?" Chilli's questioning was cautious, gentle. As if she too could sense the tension emanating from their eldest daughter.
"I'm good! How's everything back home?" Bluey picked up a cushion from beside her, running a hand up and down the fabric.
Bandit instinctively knew not to bring up Bingo's news. The two sisters tended to video call separately (no doubt to compare notes on their parents), so he guessed that Bingo and Lila would call Bluey themselves, if they hadn't already. "It's all good. Your mum and I were about to settle down to watch her fave TV show."
"Hound Force UK?" Bluey asked, "That's my latest binge watch, though don't tell Jean-Luc."
"Don't tell Jean-Luc what?" Bluey's new husband came into view, settling down on the sofa beside her. She visibly relaxed in his presence, though still seemed a little tense.
"Uh, nothing!" Bluey reached for Jean-Luc's hand, wedding and engagement rings visible. Bandit still found it hard to believe that Bluey was actually a married dog. Bluey had never shown strong aspirations for marriage growing up. Whenever the girls played 'wedding wife', Bluey was most likely to be the one officiating the ceremony rather than the actual bride. Ultimately, it had been her desire to bring Jean-Luc back to Australia that had prompted his daughter to tie the knot. Still, married life seemed to suit her well. She was glowing.
"Hey Jean-Luc! How's it going, mate?" Bandit asked.
As the two couples shared pleasantries from opposite sides of the world, Bandit's brain whirred trying to figure out the local time in Montréal. It was definitely very late for Bluey to be calling. Or early, depending on which way you looked at it.
“Is Bingo home?” Bluey asked, still playing with the couch cushion.
"Nah you just missed her, sweetheart." Chilli responded, not elaborating on where Bingo had gone.
“Oh. Well I’ll call her separately. We have some news.” Bluey stated.
Ah, there it is , Bandit thought to himself. "Go on…" he coaxed.
“We’ve decided to postpone the Queensland wedding.” Bluey announced.
From the moment Bluey had revealed her engagement, the plan always was to have 'the legal bit' in Canada, followed by a big shindig in Queensland. Though the legal wedding had been understated and beautiful, Bandit was most excited about the upcoming party on home turf. Needless to say, he was taken aback by this new development.
"How come?” asked Chilli, "is everything okay?"
Bluey hesitated. “Well, you know the cool beachy vibes dress I picked out?”
“Yes?” Chilli looked on, puzzled. Even Jean-Luc looked a little confused.
Bluey took a noticeably large exhale. “I won’t be able to fit in it. Because I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Bandit and Chilli cried out in unison, both of their voices had risen an octave.
“Surprise!” Bluey said, a tense smile plastered across her face.
It was the ever practical Chilli who spoke first, as Bandit attempted to lift his jaw off the floor for the second time in as many hours. "How far along are you?”
“13 weeks," Bluey responded. Jean-Luc scooted closer, concern etched in his features. He wasn't looking at the screen; he only had eyes for Bluey.
“Wow, second trimester, huh?” Chilli responded. Though she kept her tone as neutral as possible, the subtext was clear. So, you're definitely having this baby, right?
Bluey reached to her side and picked up a strip of sonogram photos, displaying them to the camera. Bandit couldn't make out much from the screen, but the baby was clearly visible within the black splodge.
“I know what you’re thinking." Bluey began, breaking the ensuing silence. "And no, this wasn’t exactly part of the plan. But we've both always wanted to be parents. As soon as I found out, I knew I wanted to keep it. Jean-Luc feels the same way.”
“I do." Jean-Luc interjected, his expression earnest. "Bluey is my world, and we will raise the baby together as a team.”
“I have no doubt about that, mate.” Bandit smiled, touched by Jean-Luc's declaration. If Bluey was going to do this, then she had the best possible dog by her side.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you both sooner", Bluey added, chewing her lip. "But I wanted to wait until it was well, safe. We’ve had a few scares.” Her voice trembled.
"Oh Bluey", Chilli whispered, looking concerned.
Bandit instinctively reached out to grasp his wife's hand. She squeezed his hand in turn. Bandit and Chilli had experienced their fair share of 'scares', including scares that had culminated in their worst nightmares coming true. Though it had been over 20 years since their last loss, the grief for what might have been had never truly left them. His heart ached for Bluey and the fear she must have felt. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to reach through the screen and scoop her into his arms.
“We understand, kiddo", Bandit choked out.
Bluey's frown deepened. "Are you okay? You don't seem very happy!"
"Oh, I am sweetheart," Chilli responded. "It's just a bit of a shock, that's all."
"How is this gonna work? With the move and all?" Bandit asked. Bluey and Jean-Luc had planned to officially move in five months' time. Though from Bandit's calculations this would put Bluey close to full term.
"Well I've checked with my midwife and I can fly up until about 30 weeks. But I think I'd feel safer if I came back sooner." Bluey was absentmindedly using her finger to trace the outline of her pup on the sonogram image.
"But we don't know how long my visa is going to take." Jean-Luc added. "There are a lot of hurdles, even though I am married to an Australian citizen. So Bluey might have to travel back first. Without me." Jean-Luc wrapped his arm around his wife, looking at her with the deepest look of love.
Bluey looked directly at the screen. "And I know the plan was for us to move straight into an apartment here. But, well, I don't want to do that alone. Can I stay with you for a bit? I know that it'll be a little crowded with Bingo there too, but I really need–"
Chilli interjected. "Bluey, of course you can. You'll always be welcome here. And as it happens, Bingo will be moving out soon to live with Lila."
Bluey smiled gratefully. "Thank you Mum. And you too, Dad. This means so much to me." Unprompted, Jean-Luc plucked a tissue from a nearby box and handed it to Bluey. "I don't know if it's the hormones or just this big life change, but I've been feeling more homesick than ever lately."
"Well we can't wait to have you home", Bandit smiled. "All three of you."
Having discussed more of the practical details for the impending move, Bandit was slowly coming to terms with the reality of the situation. But it was only when the emotional video call was over that the Heelers fully realised the implications of what they'd just been told.
"We're gonna be grandparents." Bandit declared, staring blankly at the tablet.
Chilli slumped back on the couch. "Wackadoo."
For Bandit and Chilli, the rest of the evening passed in a bit of a daze. At some point the news had reached Bingo too, who had sent her mum an emoji-filled stream of messages about becoming an aunty. "I guess something else for Bingo to celebrate," Chilli mused as she applied her retinol.
Bandit was inspecting his nostril hairs, wondering whether it was time to trim them again. "So, how are we gonna celebrate, grandma?"
The couple looked at each other over their twin sinks. Without saying another word, Chilli took Bandit by the hand and led him to the bedroom.
Ten minutes later, Bandit was staring into space, the bed sheets crumpled around his torso.
"It's okay, Heeler." Chilli said gently. "It's been a day. You're probably feeling a bit… overwrought."
"But this has never happened to me before," Bandit muttered, looking down at the situation between his legs. Or lack thereof.
"Try not to overthink it, Bandit." Chilli rubbed his arm reassuringly. "It's late anyway, we should get some rest."
"It's half past nine." Bandit responded.
"Let's just snuggle, okay?" Chilli shuffled closer, resting her head on his chest. "It'll all be right in the morning."
Bandit gently stroked the fur on Chilli's face, feeling immense love and gratitude for his brilliant wife. After some gentle stroking and cuddling, she turned to issue a final peck on the cheek.
"Goodnight, Grandpa."