Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Sammy! Sammy c’mere! Quick!” Dean yelled. Sam ran into the library, gun drawn, nearly in a panic at Dean’s tone. Seeing nothing amiss, Sam started to get irritated.

“Dude, what gives? Why were you screaming like you were being attacked?” Sam asked, giving Dean his best bitch face.

“Sammy, we’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime before us” Dean said, a smug grin plastered on his face.

“What the hell are you talking about Dean?” Sam was really not in the mood for his brother’s shenanigans today.

“Sammy, Lizzy left her phone out and unlocked! Can you believe it?!” Dean was way more excited than he should be.

“Dean, you know that’s an invasion of privacy, right? You wouldn’t like it if she went through your phone.” Sam tried to reason with his older brother. “I mean, this is our sister. What if you look in her phone and see something that scars you?” 

“Like what Sam? How bad could it be?”

“Think about it Dean. This is our sister. We don’t know who she talks to on a regular basis. What if you find out she’s been sexting somebody?” Sam implored.

“Ew! Sammy! No way. She wouldn’t do that. Besides, I’d find the guy and break his hands. Problem solved.”

“Dude, she’s a Winchester. You don’t like, think she's a virgin or some shit do you? Because I can pretty much guarantee she’s not. Hell, I’ve seen her leave the bar with dudes almost as much as you do with girls.”

“What?! Where was I?!”

Sam looked at Dean as if to say ‘really?’ and said “Do you really think she’d do it with you there to stop her? She waits until you leave with your conquest before she does her thing.”

“And you let her?! ” Dean screeched. “What the hell Sam?”

“Get off it Dean. She’s an adult. She’s usually more mature than you, she’s older than me, and she’s on the pill. I just make sure to know exactly where she’s going to be and when to expect her back so if she’s late I can go check up on her. But we both know she can take care of herself.”

“I’m still going through her phone.” Dean said, sprinting for his room before she came looking for her phone.

***

‘Where the hell is it?’ I thought to myself. I knew I left it in the library, but it was nowhere to be seen. Neither were my brothers. Shit…this is bad. I just hoped that I remembered to lock it before I set it down. I didn’t worry so much about Sam finding out my secrets, at least he understood that I was capable of making my own decisions like a normal adult. But if Dean checked my browser history and found my online diary…fuck. He would blow a gasket. I had too many secrets. Well…not so much too many, as the one big one I had would probably give him an aneurysm.

That one really huge one that I know he wouldn’t be able to handle. And Chuck forbid he find the hidden folder with my favorite pictures of someone, when that someone didn’t know I was taking them. And then there are the pictures of myself in different sexy lingerie. I did that occasionally so I would actually feel like a girl instead of a boy with boobs, which is what I usually felt like, spending as much time as I did with my brothers…and Dean’s angelic best friend. That’s why I didn’t want Dean to read my online diary. If he did he would find out that I have been having some…decidedly impure thoughts about the seraph. I couldn’t help it, he was just so…kind and sweet and gentle. He was understanding and he didn’t second guess everything I said or did like Sam and Dean. 

He was always there when I needed him. He was a constant in a life filled with very few of those. Even if he did die on occasion, we all have. Dean more than any of us thanks to Gabe. Truth be told, I wasn’t just attracted to Castiel. After spending so much time with the celestial being, I was completely in love with him. I couldn’t remember exactly when it happened, I just know that I went from the occasional dirty thought about him to wanting to do everything in my power to make him happy. So yeah… I had to find my phone before something bad happened.

“Sammy!” I called. 

“What?!” I heard him yell from the kitchen. I walked in to see him fixing a salad, but he couldn’t seem to look me in the eye.

“Have you seen my phone? I know I left it in the library but it’s not there now.”

“Oh… um…no. I haven’t seen it.” He said, not meeting my gaze. “Have you asked Dean?”

“Not yet. He’s next though, have you seen him?”

“I think he’s in his room, if you’re careful you might be able to sneak up on him” He said in a very un- Sam like way. What would I need to sneak up on Dean for? Unless… fuck! Dean must have my phone. I tore through the bunker only slowing when I got within earshot of his room.

I crept up silently and I was just about to open his door when I heard a gasp from inside followed by an enraged ‘Cas?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!’. Well, that answered the question of whether or not I remembered to lock my phone. I stood there debating whether to knock or just open the door when I heard him say ‘oh fuck no! Not happening. Not my baby sister!’ a pause, then ‘Oh god my eyes!’

“ LIZZY!!!!!!!!! ” He screamed and I knew he found the pictures. I was just about to retreat to my room to die of mortification when Dean yanked his door open and caught me.

“Elizabeth Alexandria Winchester, would you care to explain?” He inquired, much calmer than I expected. Now I knew I was fucked.

“Explain what Dean?” I asked, trying to stay calm and look innocent.

He held up my phone and shook it in my face. “ This! Explain this.”

“Well, it looks an awful lot like you found my phone. Thanks” I said brightly, grabbing it and running. I wanted to lock myself in my room, but the kitchen was closer and Sammy was bigger than Dean so hopefully he would protect me.

“ SAMMY!!!! HELP!!!! I screamed as I nearly ran into him and immediately hid behind him.

“Whoa there jelly bean. What the hell is going on?” Sam asked just as Dean came tearing into the room.

“ Elizabeth Alexandria Winchester!” Dean said. “Do you really think hiding behind Sam is gonna save your bacon?!”

“Sammy, you gotta help me! He’s crazy” I yelled.

“Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?” Sam asked in exasperation.

“Why don’t you ask our dear sister about her little crush and her picture hobby?” Dean said with all of the snark.

“Crush? You’ve got a crush on someone? Who is it? Do we know him…or her?? Sam, at least, was being reasonable.

“Sam! How can you be so calm about this?!” Dean asked. 

“Well Dean, I tried to tell you that going through her phone was a bad idea. I knew something like this was going to happen, but you never listen to me. I don’t want to be in the middle of this.”

“Dean, you had no right to go through my phone! There’s a reason I keep it locked. It would figure the one time I forget to lock it you decide to go through it. I am so pissed at you Dean!”

“Well how do you think I feel? Finding out my baby sister has the hots for my best friend?! Have you sent him those pictures of yourself in that blue lingerie?! Have you two been sneaking around behind my back?!  Have you been fucking him?!” Huh?!”

“Jesus Dean! Even if I was, which I’m not, it isn’t any of your business! For your information, I have no intention of ever telling him because there is no way in heaven or hell that I’ll ever be good enough for him so don’t even worry about it. I’m just gonna die lonely and bitter and you won’t have to worry about me stealing your best friend! Are you happy now?!” I yelled as my emotions finally took over and I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

The sound of fluttering wings grabbed my attention and I turned around to see the object of my affection standing there. Just great. Now, not only was my big brother pissed at me, but my baby brother knew about my feelings and Cas was seeing me cry. I took off running and locked myself in my room. I dug around under my bed and found my emergency whiskey and chocolate stash. I sat cross legged in the middle of my bed, eating chocolate and drinking whiskey while looking through all the pictures I had taken of Cas over the years. They were all candid and caught perfectly, the expressions of curiosity, wonder, joy, sorrow, anger…and more. Each one was beautiful to me. If I could, I would have them all framed and hang them in my room. Any time I’m feeling down, all I have to do is look at these photos of my angel and I feel better just knowing that he exists.

***

“What the hell Dean?! I told you not to go through her phone, but you wouldn’t listen to me. Now she’s locked in her room, probably crying her eyes out because she’s embarrassed and for what? Because you were bored?!”

“What is going on Sam? Why is Elizabeth so upset and why did she leave so suddenly?” Cas finally spoke.

“Why do you care, Cas ? You got a thing for her or something?” Dean asked, voice full of venom, confusing the clueless angel.

“What kind of ‘thing’ would I have? Clearly I don’t have anything, unless you wish to check my pockets.” Castiel said, tilting his head in confusion.

“Cas, Dean’s just being an ass. Usually when someone has a ‘thing’ for another person, that just means that they have romantic feelings for that person. That they want to pursue a relationship, or at the very least are attracted to the other person.” Sam explained.

“And how does one know if they are experiencing these kinds of feelings?” Cas asked.

“Well…It’s hard to explain but it’s like…you want to see them all the time. You want to be near them and touch them whenever you can. You think about them when you’re not together. Seeing them happy makes you happy and seeing them hurting makes you hurt. It can feel like your heart is racing in your chest, or like you’ve got butterflies in your stomach…not literally, it just means you get a fluttery feeling…but, yeah, those are just some of the ways you can tell.” Sam explained.

“Plus, ya know, you’ll wanna bang ‘em too.” Dean interjected. 

Cas looked confused. “Why would you want to bang on someone you care about? That doesn’t seem very conducive to a relationship.”

Sam released a long suffering sigh. “Dean means you want to have sex with them, whoever it is that you’re attracted to or have feelings for. He’s just crude.” Dean rolled his eyes. 

“So yeah…usually if you are experiencing any combination of those feelings about one specific person, then you have a thing for them.” Sam explained.

“Oh!” Cas said in understanding, “If that is the case, then yes, I do have a thing for Elizabeth.”

Both Sam and Dean looked at him in shock, jaws nearly hitting the floor. 

“What the fuck dude?!” Dean sputtered. “That’s my baby sister!”

“Yes, I am aware of that fact, Dean. I don’t understand what the problem is? It’s not as if she would ever return my feelings. She’s much too good for me by far. I’ve always known that. That's why I keep my distance from her as much as I can.” The angel said sadly.

“Wait, Cas…How long have you…felt this way?” Sam asked gently. 

“What does that matter Sam?! It’s not happening!” Dean yelled, getting angrier by the second.

“Dean, you're not being fair to Lizzy or to Cas. I mean, come on man, if there was anybody in the world you could be absolutely certain would treat her with the love and respect she deserves, it would be Cas. And Cas is your best friend, he’s already family. We wouldn’t have to worry about him taking her away. Think about it.” Sam tried to reason with his brother.

“I…um… I don’t understand.” Castiel said. “It’s a non-issue because I have no intention of pursuing a courtship with your sister. As I stated before, she deserves much better than myself. Not to mention, she has never shown the slightest inclination of harboring romantic feelings for me.”

Sam looked at Dean and Dean just shrugged and sighed. “Cas, I’m sorry man. You just gotta understand, she’s my baby sister and it’s my responsibility to protect her. I guess sometimes I go a little overboard.” Dean said.

“Perhaps you should be telling her that, instead of me.” Cas told Dean.

“Yeah you’re probably right. I’m gonna give her some time to cool off though…and Cas, if anyone would ever come close to being good enough for my baby sis, it would be you man, as much as I don’t want to admit it, she is an adult and I know she gets lonely. I think you should tell her how you feel.”

“I…I don’t know how. I mean, I can’t explain exactly how I feel. I know that what I feel for her is different from what I feel for you and Sam. When I think about her, I can’t stop myself from smiling, even if I’m alone. When I see her smile, it’s like the sun has come out after a lifetime of rainy days. I get nervous and my palms sweat and my vessel reacts in ways that I’m not familiar with. My heart beats faster and, and I feel warm all over and… I can’t focus on anything but her. Her laughter is like the most beautiful chorus of angels singing and all I want to do is make sure she always has a reason to laugh and to smile.”

“Damn Cas, that was downright poetic.” Dean said.

“Cas,” Sam started gently, “ I know you said it would be hard to describe how you feel, but what you just described sounds an awful lot like you’re in love with Lizzy, and I agree with Dean. You should tell her.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not. I don’t exactly know how to go about declaring my feelings.” Cas explained.

“Well I’m not so good at feelings, but Sammy here can help.” Dean said.

“I will consider it. For the moment, I believe I will go and see how she is feeling.” Cas said, and in a flutter of wings was gone.

***

I was almost half way into my bottle of whiskey when I heard a soft knock on my door. I knew it wasn’t Dean, because he would’ve tried to open the door first and then screamed at me when he found it locked. Sam’s knock would’ve been much louder and more purposeful. That left one other person it could be. Castiel.

I swayed as I stood up, then made my way unsteadily to the door. I opened it a crack and peered out and into those incredibly blue eyes that made my heart stutter in my chest.

“H-hey Cas. What’ssssss up?” I slurred.

“Elizabeth? Are…are you alright. You seemed extremely upset when I got here.”

“I’m juuuuust fiiine.” I said, walking my fingers up his tie. “Would you like to come in, or would you rather talk in the hallway?

“I,um, I would like to come in, if that’s alright.” He said, unsure of himself.

“Of course it’s alright, I’d do anything for my angel.” I giggled.

“Elizabeth, have you been drinking?” Cas inquired as he entered the room and sat on the edge of my bed.

I closed and relocked the door, then made my way to where Cas was sitting and sat as close as I could without actually sitting on his lap. Feeling bolder than normal, I lay my head on the seraph’s shoulder and released a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

“Is Dean still mad at me?” I asked.

“No, I don’t believe he is. Although he never would tell me exactly why he was angry to begin with.”

“Typical Dean. Just be pissed at everybody and expect us all to know why and how to fix it. Even when it’s his own fault for snooping into something he has no business snooping in.” I grumbled.

Castiel looked at me quizzically and asked, “What do you mean? Where has he been snooping?”

“He found my phone in the library this morning and because I’m incredibly stupid, I didn’t have it locked, so he decided to go through everything on it. Long story short, he found my online journal and now he knows that I’m in love with somebody that could never love me back AND because he also went through all of my pictures, he knows that I do actually own lingerie and like to look girly,if only under my usual hunter’s garb, even if it’s only to take pictures so I can see that yes, if I try hard enough, I can be half as attractive as women seem to find my brothers.”

Castiel sat there stunned at your revelation. Now he had even more reason to keep his feelings to himself.

“I didn’t realize you had fallen in love, but why would you think that your feelings aren’t reciprocated?” He asked.

“Because I know him and I know I’m not good enough and I never will be. But I’m okay with it Cas. I just wish Dean had stayed out of my business, now I’m gonna have to deal with him teasing me and it’s bad enough that I have to live with this knowledge, but to have him rubbing it in my face? That’s just too much.”  In my drunken state, I didn’t realize that I had started crying.

Cas, being the awkward but kind hearted angel that he is, did the only thing he could think of. He placed an arm stiffly around my shoulders and shushed me gently.

“Elizabeth, you should know that any man who is lucky enough to have won your affection, and chooses to not return your feelings, is a fool. Only someone who is truly blind would be unable to see what a rare and precious gift you are.” Castiel gave me a gentle squeeze and I released a sigh.

“Castiel. You know…you shouldn’t say such sweet things. A girl could get used to hearing them.” I said.

“A woman of such beauty and goodness as yourself should be used to hearing the truth.” He said, noticing that I was on the verge of falling asleep.

He gently laid me down and used his grace to change my clothes. Tucking me in, he leaned over to kiss my cheek and went to leave the room, but I reached out and grabbed his hand before he could.

“Castiel, will you please stay with me? I’m so tired of being lonely. I know you don’t sleep, but could you stay with me until I fall asleep?” I plead with the angel.

“Of course I’ll stay with you Elizabeth. All you had to do was ask.” He said as he moved to sit in the chair beside my bed.

“No Cas. Please?” I gestured to the empty space beside me in bed, not able to articulate exactly what I wanted, but he seemed to know anyway. 

In a move reminiscent of Gabriel, he snapped his fingers and was now wearing blue pajamas that perfectly matched his eyes as he slid into the bed next to me. I didn’t even give him time to get situated before I rolled over and wrapped an arm around his waist as I rested my head on his chest, listening to his vessel’s heart beating, which seemed to be beating slightly faster than what would be normal, but all that mattered in that moment was that I had my angel and he was holding me as tightly as I was holding him.

“Elizabeth?”

“Yes Castiel?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can, angel.”

“You said that Dean read your diary and found out you’re in love with someone…do I know this person who you hold in such high esteem?”

“I would say you know him extremely well…most likely better than any of the rest of us.”

“Do you see him often?”

“Quite often, although not often enough in my opinion. Of course, nothing would make me happier than to see him every day. But I know that’s never gonna happen, so I just enjoy whatever time I do get with him. I just wish he could see himself the way I see him. He tries so hard and everything he does is for the right reasons, even when things don't go as planned. His heart is so beautiful and if I had the chance, I would protect his precious heart with everything that I am.”  I said, forgetting for a moment that I was talking to my crush about my crush.

“He would be very lucky to have you. I do hope you know that.” He said.

“Not as lucky as I would be if I could have him.” I uttered before I finally succumbed to sleep.

***

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had any right to, honestly. I should have had a hangover from hell, given how much I drank, but instead I felt fully rested without even a hint of a headache.

There was a knock on the door and before I could even say ‘come in’ the door was pushed open and Dean walked in.

“Oh what the hell ?!” Dean yelled, looking a humorous mix of confused, pissed, and satisfied. Honestly it’s a look only he could pull off.

“What are you yelling about Dean? It’s too early for that bullshit.” I asked.

“What the hell is Cas doing in your bed ?!” He shrieked.

“Huh?” I replied, still groggy. Then I noticed that what I thought was an especially firm pillow, was in fact a very warm, very firm chest belonging to the celestial being that had stolen my heart. “Castiel?”

“Good morning Elizabeth, did you sleep well?” He asked me, perfectly calm and not even looking in Dean’s direction. 

“I did, thanks angel. Not to sound rude though, but why are you in my bed?” I asked.

“Wait, you didn’t even know he was in here? What the hell man?!” Dean yelled at Cas.

“Shut up Dean!” Cas and I said at the same time, causing us to burst into laughter.

“Hey, what’s with all the yelling?” Sam asked, appearing in the door. “Oh, hey Cas.”

“‘Oh, hey Cas?’ Really? That’s all you’ve got to say about my best friend being in bed with our sister?!”

“Dude, they’re both consenting adults. If they wanna sleep together it’s none of our business.” Sam said.

“Thank you Sam, not that anything happened.” I looked at Castiel, “Did it?”

“Of course not. You were entirely too intoxicated to make any kind of decision. But you were extremely upset so when you asked me to stay, of course I couldn’t leave you.”

“See Dean? He was just being a good friend. Because everybody knows friendship is all he would ever want from me anyway. So what’s the big deal?” I exclaimed.

“Gee Lizzy, you say that as if you want Cas to want more from you?” Sam said, goading me.

“Well come on, of course I do, who wouldn’t?” I asked.

Everyone was quiet as what I just said actually registered in my brain. I saw the look of realization come over Dean’s face as Sam split without a word. Cas looked at me with an unreadable expression.

I sighed dramatically and looked at my older brother. “Dean, can you please give us some time alone?”

“Time alone? You want time alone with him ?!” Dean exclaimed.

“Yes Dean. I would like some time alone with Castiel, if that’s alright with Cas.” I said looking at my angel…well not my angel, not yet, at least. But I decided I had to at least give it a shot.

“I am amenable to the idea.” Cas interjected.

“But Cas, I thought you wanted Sam to… ya know…”

“I appreciate your concern Dean, but I’m not sure it will be necessary.” Cas said, looking at me.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get outta your hair. You crazy kids don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Dean thought for a moment then added “In fact, don’t do most of the things I would do.”

With that being said, Dean took off, leaving me alone with Castiel. Of course now my nerves would start to get to me.

“I should have had a horrible hangover this morning.” I said, “You didn’t happen to use your angel mojo to keep me from having one this morning, did you?” Looking at Cas, I could see pink rising in his cheeks and it just made me love him more.

“I may have done a little something to keep you from being sick when you woke up.” Cas admitted. “I admit that I don’t like to see you experience pain or discomfort.”

I smiled shyly at him and said, “Okay, well I am going to grab my clothes and go into the bathroom and brush my teeth and get dressed. I need to talk to you and I just feel we would both be more comfortable with the subject matter if we weren’t lying in bed in our pajamas.”

“Of course. Or I could do this.” And he snapped his fingers. I looked down and Cas was back in his usual suit, although the suit jacket and trench coat were neatly folded on my desk chair. I, on the other hand, was wearing jeans that fit like a glove and  blue henley that matched the exact shade of Castiel’s eyes. We were also now on top of the covers and the bed was perfectly made.

“That little trick certainly comes in handy doesn’t it?” I asked, trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

“Elizabeth, you asked for time alone with me.” He said, taking my hand in his. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Well Cas… It’s hard for me to come out and say it. I just…I’m too much like Dean in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to talking about my feelings. It’s easier to just repress everything and pretend I’m fine. So when I started getting these feelings, I tried to ignore them because I don’t want anything to ruin the team dynamic we have. And now I just don't know how I could ever go back to hiding it but if I let it all out it could ruin everything and…” I trailed off as Castiel cupped my cheek and made me meet his eyes.

“Elizabeth, take a deep breath.” He said, waiting until I did so. “Do you trust me?” He asked me.

“More than my brothers.” I said without hesitation.

“Then trust me when I tell you that nothing you could say or do will ever change the way I see you or how I feel about you. Now, why don’t you just… take a deep breath, close your eyes, and tell me what’s on your mind?” He waited for a moment and when I still appeared to be holding my breath added,  “Perhaps a hug first?”

“Please?” I asked, hating how needy I sounded.

“Of course.” He said, pulling me close and holding on.

I had expected just a quick hug, but he didn’t seem inclined to let go. And having my face buried in his neck, surrounded by his smell, seemed to bolster my courage. Maybe I could do this. Maybe if I stay just like this, I can get the words out of my mouth before I back out. I felt him start to loosen his embrace but I squeezed tighter, indicating I wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“Cas…Castiel?” I started.

“Hmm?” He encouraged.

“Remember when I said I had fallen in love with someone?” I felt him stiffen up in my arms, but he hummed indicating I should continue. “Castiel…I love you. I have for a while.” I whispered.

I felt him stiffen in my arms and I buried my face in his neck, knowing that I had just ruined my friendship with the seraph. He pulled away from me and I couldn’t make myself look at him. I didn’t want to see what was likely to be disgust, or even worse, pity, coming from the cerulean eyes that I loved so much.

“Elizabeth?” He said, sounding hesitant and almost choked up. “Elizabeth, please? Look at me?” He tilted my face up towards him with a finger under my chin.

I did as he asked and saw a look in his eyes that I could only describe as outright awe.

“You silly human, I love you too. So much.” He said, face drifting closer to mine.

“You…you do? I mean, Castiel… I love you in a romantic way, not like I love my brothers or Jody, or…”

His lips ghosted over mine as he replied “That’s good, because I’m going to kiss you now, and you are going to kiss me back, and then I am going to make you mine and Dean will get over it because I will love you from now until the oceans dry up and the stars fade into nothingness, and nothing and no one can stop me.” He said and before I could reply, his lips were on mine, soft and gentle at first. Soon becoming firmer and more sure.

He leaned me back so that I was lying on my back and he propped himself up over me, never breaking the kiss. His tongue darted out and ran along my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I granted. As he deepened the kiss, I moaned into his mouth, feeling hot all over. It was like an electric shock ran straight through my body. My heart was racing and my mind couldn’t settle on one specific thought. All I knew was that Castiel, angel of the lord, who I had secretly been in love with for over a decade, was kissing me as if his life depended on it. I suddenly felt like his hands were everywhere at once, caressing, massaging, squeezing.  I felt lips everywhere all at once, leaving open mouth kisses on my neck, my stomach, the inside of my thighs. It was so deliciously overwhelming. 

I broke from the kiss, gasping for air. “Cas is that..is that your grace?” Only just noticing that I had hiked my leg up over his hip and was grinding on his rather impressive erection.

He looked at me with a smirk  that could only be described as sinful. “It is.”

“Oh angel, you’re going to be my undoing.” I said with a sigh.

“And you will be mine, honeybee.” He said. Kissing me tenderly once more before pulling back slightly. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Castiel, I have been yours since the moment I first laid eyes on you. I’ve just been waiting all these years, hoping against hope that you would feel a fraction of the love I feel for you. I want to be yours in every way possible. I will never love anyone the way I love you.” I said. “Please, make me yours, Castiel.”

No more words were needed. Before I could blink, our clothes were gone and we were exploring one another with eyes, hands, and mouths. Learning each other as no one had ever known either of us. I don’t know what I was expecting from the angel, but what I got was the most amazing, most sensual, most satisfying experience of my life. It was as if Castiel knew what I needed before I knew it. I had never been so thoroughly worshiped in my entire life. And the things he could do with his grace? There are no words in any known language that adequately describe how he made me feel.

A couple of hours later, we were just lying in my bed, not really saying much, just enjoying the closeness that we now shared.

“Cas?”

“Yes my love?” He said, making me giggle.

“What are we gonna do if Dean doesn’t ‘get over it’? He’s my big brother and I love him. I never want to do anything to hurt or disappoint him…but there’s no way that I will ever give up what we have.”

“Dean will be fine, honeybee. If he has a problem with us being together, he can take it up with me and trust me when I say that there is not a being in creation that could tear me away from you. I will protect you until the end of all time.” He said, gently rubbing the tip of his nose against mine. My stomach decided that would be a perfect time to let it be known that I had yet to have breakfast, causing Cas to laugh out loud, a magical sound I could never tire of, and my face to turn red.

“Let’s get you some food, shall we?” Cas asked. 

“Yes please.” I replied sheepishly.

I could feel his eyes on me as I got dressed and I knew I was blushing everywhere. I looked over my shoulder to be met with his intense gaze, mouth turned up at the corners.

“You are so beautiful.” He said reverently as he watched me pull on my jeans and a black tank top, throwing a flannel I’d stolen from Dean over it.

“You should look in a mirror sometime, angel. You sure chose a beautiful vessel. Although I have to believe most of that beauty is just your heart shining through.” I replied, pleased to see his cheeks turning pink.

 We made our way to the kitchen and as we approached, I could hear Dean talking so I grabbed Cas and motioned for him to be quiet. I wanted to hear what he was saying.

“Sammy, all I’m sayin’ is that I had hoped eventually Lizzy would get outta the life. But how is that ever gonna happen if she shacks up with Cas? And don’t…just don’t start. I know it’s Cas. He’s my best friend and I love him, he’s family…but he’s an angel! He can’t give her the normal life she always wanted.”

“Dean… Lizzy never wanted to be ‘normal’. I mean, come on, how many times did dad try to leave her with someone where she could have a halfway normal childhood only for her to track us down and hitchhike to wherever we were? She was the first of us to memorize an exorcism rite. She was the one who suggested anti possession tattoos so we didn’t have to worry about losing the charms. Dean, if Lizzy retired to have a ‘normal’ life we both would’ve been dead, permanently, a long time ago. Now just stop thinking about her as your baby sister and think about what would make her happy.”

“I don’t know Sammy…but what if…what if she gets knocked up huh? You know what happens to the mother of a nephilim.” 

Sam released a huge sigh “Dean, first of all, if anyone in the universe could figure out how to survive mothering a nephilim, it would be Lizzy. Second, have you noticed how Cas looks at her? Think about it. He practically worships her. I don’t know how you both stayed oblivious to it for so long. He’s been in love with her longer than he’s known what being in love means. He’s not going to be so careless as to put her life in danger by getting her pregnant without knowing she can survive it first. Stop worrying and let her be happy. This life is shit, Dean. You know it and I know it. We have to take what happiness we can find, where we can find it and who better to give our sister to than a literal angel. Not just any angel, but the angel who defied everything for you, for us, for our entire family. The angel who has fought beside us. The angel that helped us defeat GOD then helped Jack rebuild heaven. Come on man, you’ve got to see this is a good thing.”

There was a moment of silence followed by “You’re right Sammy. Fuck, should we start planning the wedding?”

They both laughed for a few moments then I took Cas by the hand and we made our presence known.

“Well look who finally decided to get outta bed.” Dean announced as we sat at the table.

“Yeah…well I had a very good reason for wanting to stay in bed.” I said with a smirk.

“From the sounds of things you had that reason several times…loudly.” Sam said.

“Oh god I didn’t need to know that!” yelled Dean. “Why couldn’t you let me be ignorant and keep believing that my baby sister is sweet and innocent?!”

“I can assure you that my honeybee is very sweet…but not so innocent.” Castiel interjected, nuzzling my neck.

“Ah man! See?! This is the kinda stuff I don’t need to see.” Dean whined all of us laughing at him.

“Well Dean,” I said, Sam already laughing, knowing what’s coming. “You’re the one who’s always wanting to get your best friend laid.” As soon as the words left my mouth Dean spit his coffee across the kitchen making even Castiel laugh out loud. “I’m sorry Dean, but you really had it coming.”

I proceeded to clean up Dean’s spit coffee and started cooking breakfast, even though it was getting close to noon, but it’s never the wrong time for bacon. Sam and Dean had gone to the library to do some research for a new case Garth had called about while I was otherwise occupied. I assumed Cas had gone with them until I felt arms snake around my waist as I was turning the bacon. I leaned back into the broad chest of my celestial lover as his arms tightened around me.

“Now that I am allowed to touch you freely, I find it most difficult to keep my hands to myself.” He said as he brushed light kisses down my neck.

“Mmmm I love that about you. You have no idea how long and how often I’ve dreamt of feeling your arms around me Castiel. Every time you touched me to heal me or the occasional hug. Oh especially the hugs, it’s always been so hard not to hold on too long or keep things on a ‘friendly’ level. It’s been torture Cas.”

“I know, honeybee. Had I even the slightest inclination that you returned my feelings, I would have made mine known long ago. If only angels were capable of getting married, I would propose to you now.”

“Oh Castiel, my angel, I don’t need any of that. I am happy just knowing you’re mine.” I said, turning in his arms and raising onto my toes to kiss him. 

“In all of my existence, I never would have believed I would deserve to have you. I love you so much.”

I smiled as I stole another kiss before turning back to the stove to make sure I didn't burn breakfast.

***

A few hours later found the four of us loaded into the impala, on the way to Jody’s. After finding the case that Garth had called about was actually just a bunch of teens pranking people, Jody had called and said there had been a few suspicious deaths in her area and it seemed like it might be our kinda thing. Even if it wasn’t, she had been trying to get us to come visit for the better part of a year.

 I was leaned against Cas with his arm around my shoulders, lazily drawing little designs on the skin over my clavicle, Sam was dozing in the passenger seat, and Dean was softly singing along with Led Zeppelin as the miles passed, occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror at Cas and me, shaking his head slightly each time.

We pulled up to Jody’s around dinner time and it seemed like she had been watching for us because she was out the door to greet us before Dean even turned off the ignition. She hugged us each in turn, Sam, then Dean, then me, raising her eyebrows when she watched me extricate myself from Castiel’s embrace to return her hug. She wasted no time in commenting on it either, as Cas wrapped me in his arms once more.

“Soooo guys, what’s the story here?” She asked, motioning at me and Cas. Dean rolled his eyes, Sam chuckled, and I could feel my face turn pink as Cas placed a kiss on my temple.

“Elizabeth and I have recently discovered that feelings we have for one another are not as one sided as we both had feared.” Cas explained.

“Yeah, thanks to Dean and his snooping.” I added. 

“Hey, if it wasn't for my snooping you’d still be pining instead being all gross with your angel boyfriend there so I don’t wanna hear anything unless it’s a thank you.” Dean snarked at me.

“Thank you Dean,” Castiel said with utmost sincerity.

“Ahhh don’t mention it. Really, don’t talk about it. This whole…” he gesticulated wildly in our direction, “I’d rather just pretend I don’t know about it.” He said and we all laughed as we made our way into the house.