Chapter Text
Toph’s first foray into the Fire Nation, during the war, had been fun at times, but the cloud of the war had definitely dampened the experience.
After the war, she wasn’t itching at to go back, but she wasn’t about to miss Zuko’s coronation. (Despite everything they’d been through together, it was still mind blowing that she could count the firelord as one of her closest friends.) On that trip, she’d found herself pleasantly surprised at how free she felt in the Fire Nation. There was no need to hide that she was an earthbender, and her family name held little to know weight.
There were no mentions of her family’s “achievements” or anxious deferment when she told them who she was. She could just merely exist without any expectations.
Well, okay, she was still a friend of both the Avatar and the firelord, so some people still treated her with respectful caution, but at least that was more about her own achievements, not just her family name. She didn’t mind people cowering in fear as long as they did it knowing what she was capable of, not her family.
The first time she’d ventured to the less well-off parts of Caldera City, Zuko had tried to send a bodyguard with her. He was still anxious about Ozai sympathizers dethroning him, and Toph could easily become a target if they couldn’t get to Zuko. Toph had forcefully rejected that offer, reminding him that she was more than capable of taking care of herself.
Soon, she found herself drinking at a run-down bar not far from the docks every time she was in the Fire Nation. It was everything a bar should be, with drunken squabbles breaking out at least three times a night. Toph was willing to visit the Fire Nation often just to go to that bar. Seeing Zuko was merely a bonus.
“I never can believe you were a proper lady,” Shu, one of the regulars, said with a shake of his head. He was nursing his third beer of the night. “You’d never be able to tell.”
“Fire Nation ladies sure don’t visit places like this,” Lee agreed.
Toph scoffed. “Earth Kingdom ones don’t either. Why do you think I left that behind?”
Lee frowned. He was a lot younger than Shu. He’d only finished school a few years earlier. “It must have been awfully nice having all those nice clothes and delicious food and stuff though. Do you ever miss it?”
The ground rattled beneath them, causing most of the patrons to grip their drinks in worry.
“No,” Toph said. “Never.”
Lee gulped. He’d gotten the picture.
The next morning, Toph stuffed rice in her mouth, trying to ignore the aching in her head. At least the palace was quiet. Usually, she found that unsettling, but on mornings with a hangover, it was more than welcome.
For a while, she had the dining room to herself, which wasn’t surprising considering the late hour. Everyone in the palace with jobs was already off doing what they were supposed to. Only a couple guards stood to the side, like they were worried Toph would make off with her bowl once she was done. Or uncover state secrets in the soup.
She sensed Zuko coming long before he was in the room. The guards who were watching her undoubtedly underestimated what she was aware of around the palace. There were a few places that were mysteries for her because they’d been constructed largely of wood, but for the most part, she could see into many of the rooms she was formally excluded from.
Zuko sighed when he entered and saw the state of her. Toph just kept shoveling rice into her mouth. She watched as he dismissed the guards and took the seat beside her.
“The mail came,” Zuko said.
Toph kept eating. Since when did she care about the mail that the palace received?
“One letter is for you. From your parents.”
Toph froze, chopsticks halfway between her mouth and the bowl. Her parents shouldn’t have even known that she was in the Fire Nation, but then again, her parents traded their influence for information almost as much as they did physical goods. Someone would have seen her getting on a ship bound for the Fire Nation.
She hadn’t thought her parents would still care enough to go looking for that information though.
“Burn it,” she said. “I don’t want it.”
Zuko sighed, and Toph heard a light clunk as he placed what she presumed was the scroll with the letter on the table.
“Toph—”
“No,” she said. She sat down her empty rice bowl and chopsticks. “Don’t give me that preachy voice. Considering your own dad is locked up at your command, I don’t think you can preach to me about having a good relationship with my parents.”
“That wasn’t what I was going to do.”
“You want me to read the letter.”
Zuko sunk into the chair. He didn’t look like a regal firelord when he got like this. It was Toph’s favorite version of Zuko.
“I was,” he admitted. “You haven’t spoken to them in years. Aren’t you at least curious about what they have to say?”
“No, but if you want to read it so badly, then go ahead. Lay it on me.”
Zuko hesitated before unrolling the scroll. He cleared his throat and began to read aloud.
Dear Toph,
We hope this letter finds you well. Regretfully, we do not have good news. Your mother has grown sick, and we are not sure how long she will survive. Her dying wish is to see her daughter one last time before she passes. While we recognize that space has grown between us in recent years, you will always have a home in Gaoling. I ask that you please consider seeing your mother.
Love,
Lao Beifong
“That’s it?” Toph asked, crossing her arms against her chest. “He's not even going to ask how I’m feeling?”
“Toph,” Zuko said warily. “Your mother—”
“Is fine. This is a ploy to get me back home and nothing more.”
Zuko looked back down at the letter. “What if it’s not? What if she’s actually sick?”
“She’s not.”
He opened his mouth to argue.
“Look, Zuko. I know my parents. I had to live with them for twelve years. I know you’re attached to your mom because she was better than your dad, but both of my parents sucked. My mom is just as likely to lie as my dad is. In fact, she’s probably worse because she tries to make you feel sorry for her when you catch her. She’s not dying.”
“Okay,” Zuko said hesitantly. “But what if we knew that she was really sick, would you go to see her?”
Toph pressed her feet into the floor, trying to ground herself. “I don’t know,” she admitted.
“What if this is real?” Zuko asked. “Ultimately, this is your decision, and I’ll respect it, but I think you need to consider the possible consequences if you don’t go.”
Toph stayed silent, facing straight ahead in Zuko’s direction.
He sighed and rolled up the scroll, pushing it over to her side of the table.
“Like I said, it’s your decision.” He pushed back this chair and stood up, leaving her alone with the letter.
It took three days for Toph to change her mind. Over the course of those three days, she imagined her mother dying in various different ways, each of them increasingly gruesome. The letter had been vague about what was wrong, which Toph had initially taken as confirmation that it was a lie. Now she wasn’t as sure. Her parents had always been private people and overly cautious about their image. The lack of details could have been out of fear that the letter would be intercepted and the contents spread as rumor.
So, even if they weren’t lying in this instance, her parents hadn’t changed that much. They would still try to protect her by locking her inside and forcing her to wear dresses and only speak when spoken to.
Was seeing her dying mother worth walking into that again?
She wasn’t sure it was, yet Zuko’s question about whether she’d regret not seeing her dying mother weighed on her mind.
By the time she came back to him, she felt defeated. She’d sworn she’d never go back to Gaoling, yet there she was, about to make a decision that she could deeply regret.
“I’ll go see my parents,” she said, standing at the bottom of Zuko’s throne. She shouldn’t have interrupted his time for speaking to his subjects, but she hadn’t been able to hold it in any longer. And Zuko had been eager to hear what she had to say.
Zuko smiled at her. “That’s great.”
She held up a hand to stop him. “But only if you go with me.”
There was a pause. He shuffled his feet in a very undignified way for a firelord.
“Toph, it’s busy—”
She shrugged. “That’s my one condition,” she said. “My parents tried to kidnap me once, remember? I’m not going back there unless there’s at least one person on my side in that house, and since you’re the only one here I can ask, congratulations. Either you come with me, or I don’t go.”
Zuko sighed. “Toph…”
“Remember during the war how everyone else got a life-changing field trip with you except me?” She crossed her arms. “Well, the time’s come. I’m demanding my turn now.”
“I didn’t realize I owed you one.” He sounded amused, if unconvinced.
“You do if you want me to see my possibly dying mom.”
Zuko tapped his fingers against the armrest for a second before turning to his guards. “Set up a meeting with my advisors. I want to speak to them about my upcoming schedule.”
Toph smirked.
“I can’t guarantee anything yet,” he said, turning back to her.
“Oh, I know, gracious Firelord.” She gave him a mock curtsy. “But who said I want you to be free?”
Much to Toph’s chagrin, it only took Zuko four hours to get back to her. He found her in the largest courtyard that didn’t contain a turtleduck pond, throwing rocks around.
“Good news,” Zuko said with a smirk. “My schedule is officially clear. We leave in two days’ time.”
Toph groaned. “Yippee.”
It had been years since Toph set foot in Gaoling, yet everything was the same. She pressed the balls of her feet into the dirt, feeling out as far as she could. While she’d never had the entire city memorized, the layout appeared to be virtually the same. All across the Earth Kingdom, cities and villages had been blossoming since the war, but Gaoling remained untouched. Sure, it hadn’t suffered during the war like many other areas of the Earth Kingdom, but Toph had expected more change than she found.
“Are you okay?” Zuko leaned out of the carriage window to whisper to her discreetly.
He’d immediately agreed to her request to step out of the carriage in the outskirts of the city even though the driver had been confused. Toph nodded and climbed back into the carriage, taking the seat opposite Zuko.
“I’m as good as I can be considering.”
Much like the rest of the city, the Beifong estate remained virtually unchanged. Toph’s stomach churned as they walked to the door. Not even the group of five elite guards that Zuko had brought with them made her feel better.
She could feel her parents inside through the earthen floors, which was more than she’d typically gotten in that house thanks to her parents’ insistence that she wear shoes.
“You do it,” she muttered to Zuko.
He hesitated for a second before raising his hand and knocking the badgermole knocker.
Toph was expecting a servant to answer the door. Her parents had never been ones to do it themselves. Instead, the approaching footsteps were remarkably familiar. Toph’s heart raced as her father pulled the door open. He froze as soon as he saw her.
“Toph? Is that you?”
Toph swallowed down the rising bile. “Hi, Dad.”