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Dave & Alex's Wedding: Take 2

Summary:

Alex and Dave thought their second attempt at getting married couldn't be any more chaotic than their first one... They were wrong.

Notes:

I just finished rewatching the series again recently, and couldn't help wondering what another Dave and Alex wedding might look like in the future. So I came up with this. Typical gang shenanigans ensue. Also, what's a wedding without Derrick popping up?

Work Text:

Alex smiles as she stares at her reflection in the mirror that she’s sitting across from, dressed in a flowing white, empire waisted wedding gown. After countless breakups, makeups, and everything in between, her and Dave are finally getting married. Unlike the last time she was here though, she feels ready. They’ve done the work, figured out their individual stuff, and are now prepared to make it official after finding their way back to each other. It might have taken them a few years, but they got there eventually.

Glancing back over her shoulder, Alex finds her older sister Jane standing in the doorway, here to check up on her.

“Hey Al, how ya feeling?”

“Excited, nervous, nauseous, a little hungry. The usual basically.”

Jane bobs her head. “Good. Good. That is good.” She repeats, as she draws out the words, clearly stalling in an effort to build up to the real question she wants to ask. “So... I was talking with some of the other wedding guests out there, and they, not me, were sorta wondering if... you think you’re gonna make it through the entire wedding this time?”

"Ugh! Why does everyone keep asking me that!?” Alex pouts, folding her arms over her chest in annoyance.

"Well, you did run off with a guy on rollerblades at the last one. Although this time around, I think people are a little more concerned with that.” Jane explains, gesturing to her sister’s pregnant belly, which causes the short blonde to frown a little.

“Is it really that noticeable?” The younger Kerkovich asks as she stands up.

“Al, you’re nine months pregnant.” Jane points out, as if the answer should be blatantly obvious, but Alex being Alex, doesn’t seem to pick up on it.

“So, is it?”

Jane stares a beat at her sister, who looks like she’s smuggling an entire watermelon under her dress, and sighs. “Nope. Not at all.” She lies through her teeth.

“Good. I wouldn’t want people thinking we were having a shotgun wedding.” Alex chuckles in relief, as Jane steps further into the room.

“You guys are cutting it pretty close though. Remind me again why you didn’t just move the wedding up.”

“I didn’t know I was pregnant until three months after Dave proposed, and by then, we had already booked all the wedding stuff. And since my due date is two weeks after the wedding day we set, we thought we’d be fine. Plus Max bet me a hundred dollars that I’d wind up having the baby before then. So jokes on him, cause I made it!” She announces proudly, giving a small fist pump at the victory.

The older sibling scrunches up her nose and shakes her head as she helps fix her sister's hair. “Nope, I’m pretty sure the joke is still on you if you think Max actually has a dollar to his name, let alone a hundred of them. His bank account is so far in the negative that he tried to fake his own death to get out of paying them, again.”

“Whatever. It was still worth it.”

“Got everything you need?”

“Yep! I got my something old, great grandma’s bracelet. Something new, my dress. And as for my something borrowed and something blue...” Pulling up the lower half of her dress a few inches, the tiny blonde reveals that she’s wearing a pair of blue crocs.

Jane quirks her head in surprise and confusion at the sight. “What happened to those two hundred dollar pair of shoes you purchased that you could not stop talking about?”

“Oh them? Yeah, turns out my feet grew almost two sizes since I bought them. I basically have hobbit feet now, minus all the hair. These are actually Dave’s.”

“Oh wow. That’s... horrifying.”

“Yeah, pregnancy is kind of a bitch.” She laughs, before exhaling a sigh and swallowing nervously as she looks up at her sister.

“Hey, Jane. Do you think Dave and I are ready for this?” Alex asks quietly, as she rests her hand on her belly.

“Definitely not.”

“Jane!”

“But... that’s because nobody is. Not even our annoyingly perfect older sister Brooke. That’s why you have all of us though, to help you. Your baby is in good hands. Well, maybe not Penny’s, because she’s fairly accident prone. And probably not Max’s either, because they always seem to be oddly sticky for some reason, but you get the point.” She chuckles gently, doing her best to help put the bride’s mind at ease.

Alex smiles in appreciation as she goes to hug her sister, which turns out to be a little easier said than done, but they manage. “Thanks, Jane.”

“Of course.”

Just then, the two sisters hear a faint knock against the open door, where they find their father now standing.

“Thought I'd come see if my little girl is ready for me to walk her down the aisle.”

“Yes.” Alex replies confidently, before her expression quickly pivots to that of an uncertain one. “Wait, no. I gotta pee again.”

Jane sighs heavily, knowing the routine fairly well by now after having already gone through this 3 other times today. Shaking her head, she can be heard muttering under her breath: “I better be that damn baby’s favorite aunt.”, as she goes to get Penny’s help.


“I am getting some serious deja vu being here.” Max says to Brad, as they stand at the altar beside Dave, acting as his groomsmen once again.

"Tell me about it. On the bright side, at least this time around we don't have to worry about a runaway bride situation."

"Yeah, if anything, it would be more like a waddle-away bride." Max snickers, as Brad joins in.

"Hey, that is the mother of my child you two are talking about." The groom chides, shooting both his friends a look.

"Sorry."

"My bad."

“Though you’re not wrong. That’s why I call her my little penguin.” Dave smiles, pausing for a beat. “She’s not really a fan.” He then admits.

Max adjusts the collar of his ill fitting rental tux as he tries to wrap his head around the whole thing. “It’s still so weird to think that you and Alex are having a kid. Now if you told me you got a kid, and by which I mean a baby goat, then I would absolutely believe you. But a human child? In-sane."

"Let’s be real though, is anyone actually surprised she confused mints for her birth control pills?"

As much as he loves Alex, Dave really can’t really argue with either of their points. "Truth be told, I’m kinda surprised it hadn't happened sooner."

"Guess the group is gonna have two babies now."

Dave raises a curious eyebrow. "Wait, Jane is pregnant too?"

"Nah man, I meant Max." Brad explains, pointing at his friend.

"What? I am not a baby!" He whines, stomping his foot.

"Last week you got so drunk that you crawled into the crib we just finished setting up, then fell asleep in it while sucking your thumb."

"Only ‘cause it still had barbecue sauce on it." He attempts to defend himself, voice hitching up slightly, but to little avail. Luckily for Max though, the sound of organ music begins to play as Jane and Penny quickly return to their previous positions, and Alex begins to make her way down the aisle towards the officiant of their wedding, who is none other than Derrick.

As the ceremony proceeds forward, they have now reached the part where they say their 'I do's'.

“Do you Dave, take Alex to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?"

“I do.”

"And do you, Alex, take Dave to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?”

"I ooo..."

"Did she just say 'do' or 'ooo'?" Penny asks Jane, who just shrugs, as Derrick mouths the word ‘Drama’ to the rest of the crowd.

“I think you forgot the D, sweetie.” Dave whispers nervously to his fiancé, suddenly having flashbacks to the last time they were here, but when he sees Alex’s hand move to clutch her stomach, he realizes something is up. "Al, are you okay?"

Taking in a shaky breath, she stares up at him wide eyed. "I think my water just broke."

“Here we go!” Max shouts, excited for the chaos that was now bound to ensue with this development.

“What!? Are you sure!?”

“Yeah Dave, I’m pretty sure.” She groans as she’s hit with a contraction.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! We’re having a baby!” Turning to the crowd, the father-to-be loudly announces the news to the rest of their wedding guests: “Everyone, we’re having a baby!”

A round of applause soon follows, causing Dave to react as if he just won an academy award, bowing and blowing kisses to the audience.

Penny loudly clears her throat to regain his attention, then inclines her head in the direction of the small blonde who was in the process of starting to give birth. “Dave.”

“Huh? Right! Come on Alex, let’s get you to the hospital.” As he takes her by the hand to escort her down the aisle towards the car, she pulls back and swiftly shakes her head, standing her ground.

“No! I’m not gonna have another wedding where I run out before getting married to you, okay? Not this time. I know what I want, and that’s you. So I’m not leaving here until we finish this. I love you, Dave, and I wanna be your wife.”

Dave smiles softly at her, touched by the sentiment. “I love you too, Al.”

“I swore I wasn’t gonna cry.” Max sniffles, rubbing at his eyes.

“Keep it together, bro.” Brad whispers, clearly fighting back tears of his own.

“You’re one to talk.”

“It’s allergies.”

“In October?”

Jane steps forward to try and get the wedding back on course. “Derrick, you wanna finish this up before my sister changes the guest count from 150 to 151, please?”

“On it, blondie! Let’s start this scene again from the top, shall we? Condensed version, obviously.” He clarifies, before turning his attention back to the groom. “Dave, do you take Alex to be your wife?”

“I absolutely do.”

“Alex, do you take Dave to be your husband?”

“I do.”

“Fabulous! Rings, please." Derrick hastily commands, as Brad steps up to hand the items over to the couple, who then slip their respective rings onto the other's finger. "Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Dave grins happily at this as he leans forward, cupping Alex’s cheeks between his palms and kisses her, as the two finally make it official.

"Now get out of here you stupid pregnant bitch, and go have that baby!” Derrick exclaims as he claps his hands together to hurry them along, causing the newlyweds to let out a laugh, and Dave places his hand on his wife’s lower back to help carefully usher her outside as their friends follow quickly behind.


It's 12 hours later when Alex gives birth to a beautiful baby boy, in which they name: Matthew Memphis Rose.

The gang is all gathered in front of the large glass window where the newest addition to their little group now sleeps, amongst a row of other newborns.

“I can’t believe Alex let Dave name their son after Dave Matthews.” Max remarks, grimacing slightly at the thought. “But at least it wasn’t John Mayer.”

Jane bobs her head in agreement. “She only agreed to it as long as she got to pick the middle name.”

“Yeah, I meant to ask,” Brad speaks up. “what’s the deal with Memphis anyway? Is it like, an Elvis thing or something?”

“It’s actually her favorite style of barbecued ribs.” Penny explains, and the entire group nods in mutual understanding, surprised they hadn't connected the dots on that sooner.

“That tracks.”