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Who wants ice cream?

Summary:

Diana and Jones go to get ice cream, it goes pretty good until Neal shows up.

Notes:

Ignore how badly written the plot is.
Please and thank you!

Work Text:

Diana loved the weekends, especially in the summer, the weather would be amazing and she didn’t have to be holed up in an office all day while mournfully looking out the window.

 

This weekend was no different, Jones had convinced her to go try a new ice cream shop in the city, several hundreds of fellow New Yorkers had gotten the same idea, the queue was surprisingly long and Diana feared that there would be no ice cream left when they got to the front.

 

Jones had only shook his head slightly when he saw the queue and made Diana follow him in through the back of the store, apparently he knew a guy who knew a guy? She wasn’t going to question it.

 

One thing that he had forgotten to mention when he had invited her was the fact that it was superhero inspired, but oh well… Ice Cream is ice cream.

 

The assortment of ice cream was impressive, she had no idea that there were that many different superheroes. Diana knew the majority of them, but there were still a few she didn’t quite know, like ‘Signal’ who apparently tastes like cinnamon rolls and ‘Spoiler’ their ice cream was eggplant purple and tasted like waffles.

 

The guy who attended the shop looked a bit confused when he saw Jones and Diana enter from the back, but he didn’t object to their presence.

 

“Hi…” Jones squinted at the employee's name tag “Kyle”

 

Kyle looked as if he might shit his pants “Hello sir, is everything as you want it to be?”

 

Jones laughed, sounding so utterly fake, that Diana was surprised the employee didn’t call him out on it. “I’m not here officially, my friend and I would like some ice cream”

 

“Great, okay, uhm…” He turned around, nearly knocking down some waffle cones “What would you like?”

 

“Hm, I would like to try some Batman, Signal, Red Hood and Martian Manhunter”

 

Kyle quickly scooped up the ice and handed it to him, next it was Diana’s turn.

 

“I would like some Signal, Superman and Nightwing!”

 

Kyle mumbled “Coming right up.”

 

Diana couldn’t resist trying Nightwing, there was a chocolate piece that followed, it was a small figure of him. Even if it was a small chocolate Nightwing, it had an ass that could choke a small child if they dared to eat it in one mouthful.

 

Was it child friendly? Absolutely not, but damn did that ass taste good.

 

Jones, the gentleman that he was paid for it all, Diana tried not to react when he pulled out a black visa debit card. She knew that he was secretly loaded, but not that loaded.

 

An impatient customer yelled out “Hurry up, I don’t have all day!”

 

Kyle flinched and went back to presumably work, but the supposed customer pulled out a gun and yelled “This is a robbery, don’t you dare call the police!”

 

In an instant people began screaming and trying to exit the shop, but the robber hurried over and shut the doors. Instinctively Diana reached for her gun, only to realise that it was the weekend and she didn’t have it on her person, Jones had done the same action as her and came up empty handed.

 

The robber fired off a few shots into the ceiling, some pieces drizzled down, and a woman shielded her children. 

 

“Listen up!” She yelled out “I want you all to give me your wallets”

 

The people closest to the robber began following the commands, Diana debated doing the same, but she was a trained FBI agent she had to do something.

 

“Jones?” Her voice was urgent “Do you have your phone on you?”

 

Her colleague patted his pockets before shrugging “Nope, I think I forgot it at Neal’s place last week.”

 

“Last week?!” Diana said, just a bit too loudly. 

 

The robber turned around and saw the pair of them behind the counter along with Kyle who was sitting and rocking back and forth, poor guy. 

 

“Shut up and hand over the wallets!”

 

Jones threw his wallet at the woman and Diana was about to do the same when the bell rang and a person entered the store.

 

Questioningly they said “Excuse me, is the store already closed?”

 

Diana groaned out loud, now they were all going to get shot and Peter was going to blame her and Jones, why couldn’t Neal just stay home and never go outside?

 

The robber blinked confused at him “The door was locked…”

 

“Huh” Neal said, he then spotted Diana and Jones on the floor behind the counter “Hi Diana!”

 

The woman who had shielded her kids yelled at him “This is a fucking robbery, you can’t just barge in and provoke the robber!”

 

The robber seemed to wake up after that comment, she aimed her gun at Neal “Give me your wallet or you will get shot!”

 

“Okay, girlboss!” Neal said cheerily “What do you need the money for?”

 

Her finger lingered by the trigger, twitching slightly “Just give me it!”

 

“Sheesh, give me a minute.” Neal patted his pockets just like Jones had done and shrugged “Oh, I don’t have it.”

 

She spluttered in anger “I don’t care, give me your wallet!”

 

Diana was too baffled by the encounter to even do anything, did Neal have no self preservation?

 

“Or what?” he challenged “You will shoot me?”

 

“Yes!” She yelled frantically.

 

“Shoot me then” Neal dared, he opened up his arms and pointed to his chest “Right here if you want to kill me.”

 

“Fuck you!” She yelled, her voice quivering a bit “Just… sit on the floor like the other people”

 

The bell by the door rang again, this time not because someone was entering, but because someone was trying to escape, a teenage boy had crawled over to it and opened it while Neal had distracted the awful robber.

 

“You!” The robber turned around pointing her gun to the teenager “You better close that door now!”

 

Suddenly Jones seemed to spawn right behind the robber, when had he moved? Diana hadn’t even noticed it before he was standing right behind the robber. She should work on her observational skills, Neal kept sneaking up on her as well, she must be getting rusty. 

 

Or…

 

Swiftly he incapacitated the robber with a punch to the head, if only Diana had packed her service weapon then there wouldn’t have been a problem.

 

“Good job” Neal praised Jones, Diana looked between the two squinting.

 

It was one of those situations where people should have clapped or thanked their hero, but instead they scrambled out of the store, and a few remained determined to get some ice cream. 

 

“Uhm, Diana I think I am going to bring her to the station,” Jones motioned towards the robber “You and Neal enjoy some ice cream”

 

“I actually didn’t bring my wallet” Neal said monotony.

 

Sighing, Jones reached down onto the floor and picked up his wallet and threw it to Neal “I better get this back later.”