Work Text:
The moment Neal stepped out of June’s house Peter knew something was up, his fedora wasn’t slightly askew like it used to and he was fidgeting with his hands more than usual.
On the car ride to the office, the car was filled with Neal’s usual banter and unusual stories about things that definitely weren’t legal, this time it was about one time a heist went wrong and a warehouse blew up. Peter shuddered at the story, he would have quit his job if warehouses began exploding.
Throughout the whole ride he didn’t take off his fedora, and insisted that it was a key piece of his outfit so he couldn’t just remove it, despite his ‘Outfit’ being a simple beige suit.
It became even stranger when they arrived at the office…
Jones greeted them when they entered and Neal and him shared a glance, Peter shook his head, he was better off not knowing what the glance meant.
“Peter” Jones put a hand on his shoulder before he could walk away “A word?”
“Yes?” Peter asked, he looked down at Jones’ hands.
Jones fumbled with a paper “Uhm, this is the newest ‘Most wanted’ addition, Caroline Hill needs to be replaced.”
“You have black hands” Peter blurted out.
“...Right, let’s just ignore work and comment on my hands”
“What did you do?”
“I, uhm” Jones trailed off.
“You what?” He was genuinely curious, the other man's hands were stained black, it looked absurd.
A voice behind him joined in “He dyed his hair”
Neal.
“Are you going grey?” Peter suppressed a laugh, it would be great if Jones went grey before he did, the latter always teased Peter with it, so it would be karma.
Jones spluttered “Ja- Neal I will push you off a building”
Neal smiled wickedly “Bet”
Peter looked between the pair, what was going on? What were they up to? Why would they even be on a roof? So many questions and so little answers, he needed to consult Diana at some point, she was a better detective than him.
“So, back to topic” He interrupted, he wanted to rub in Jones’ unfortunate situation “You are going grey”
“Yes” Jones bit out “And Neal is the sole reason”
Laughter escaped Neal, his fedora stayed on his head even when he threw his head back in laughter.
“Good one, I am not the sole reason” The con man grinned, it was a bit too sharp “Maybe you had a stressful childhood”
“More like a stressful life” Jones mumbled.
“Gosh, how old are you even?” Peter asked “You are nearing forty right?”
“I am uhm, 25?” He sounded unsure, old age wasn’t treating him well.
“25?” Diana who was walking by stopped in her tracks “You are still a small kid.”
“Awh” Neal cooed “Small child”
“Work!” Jones said out loud “We have work”
He walked away quickly towards the storage room, maybe he had forgotten the way to the bathroom? Old age wasn’t kind to many people.
Peter snickered before he left the conversation, he needed to put a new most wanted poster up.
************
It was purely accidental when Neal’s fedora fell off.
Jones and Neal had been taking a break and just casually throwing an apple back and forth, Jones might already be going grey, but Peter was close to going grey as well.
Smack
Smack
Smack
The sound of the apple hitting their palms drove Peter mad, he was trying to focus on his work, the numbers on his screen drove him mad, they just wouldn’t fit together, somewhere there was an error, a small flaw could mean he could throw the mortgage fraud case into the pile of solved cases.
The sound of glass breaking broke his small bubble of mortgage fraud, frantically he searched the bullpen for signs of broken things, the only thing he saw was Diana laughing, Jones with wide eyes and Neal…
Neal was missing his fedora and further back a decorative vase was broken, but that wasn’t the shocker; the con man’s forehead was black, it was stained the same black as Jones’ hands and suddenly every piece fell into place.
“Neal!” Peter yelled out, for the first time in many years he felt pure joy “You are the one going grey!”
Neal spluttered, frantically searching for his fedora, Diana was beet red in her face, and Jones was trying to contain his laughter but it was going poorly, the other people in the bullpen tried to keep to their own work, majority of them shook their heads, they were so used to the chaos of Peter’s team, that a broken vase and laughter couldn’t distract them anymore.
Neal succeeded in finding the fedora and put it back on his head to hide his stained forehead. Diana was taking deep breaths and Jones was standing behind her, using her as a shield against the con man.
“Peter-” Neal tried.
Jones interrupted him “Peter help, Neal is going to kill me!”
Diana joined in and through badly contained laughter she mocked “Dad, Jones is using me as a shield!”
Peter sighed, pinching his nose bridge, if he wanted to deal with kids he would have become a teacher, yet here he was, dealing with three overgrown toddlers. His life had been so peaceful before Neal showed up, he missed the professional Diana and Jones.
“Dad is mad…” Jones whined.
“I’m not mad, i’m just-”
Neal cut him off “-Disappointed, gee you sound like my dad”
Jones laughed loudly, the others in the bullpen were sending stink eyes their way, did Peter care? No, he did not.
“How grey is Neal’s hair?” Peter asked Jones.
A mischievous smile appeared. “He only has grey hair left, he is such an old man.”
“No!” Neal burst out “I am just a natural, uh... redhead?”
“You don’t sound so sure” Diana teased “Is old age affecting your memory?”
“No, wait” Neal said, finding his phone and scrolling through it, his face lit up after a few seconds of scrolling and he turned his phone around “See, I have red hair!”
On the screen was a picture of Neal, he was significantly younger and he had a white tuft of hair in the middle of it, he looked like a redheaded skunk.
“Wait what?!?” Jones exclaimed “How come no one ever told me that?”
“I deserved to know that as well!” Diana said pointedly at Peter “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Peter was shocked, he didn’t know Neal ever had red hair, was he a natural redhead? It looked legit, was it a wig? How come everytime he thought he had figured out everything about Neal something new appeared. He was the ultimate cryptid, a cryptid con man…