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Ricky had lived long enough to recognize the telltale signs of love. Whether it was star-crossed lovers, soulmates, twin flames, or kindred spirits… the difference didn’t really matter. They were all tinged by the same gradient: pink, red, or somewhere in the middle.
The shades of love.
By coincidental fate, Ricky had learned to distinguish them all. That’s why, as soon as they’d unfold in front of him, he’d just known.
How could he not, when the colors had blossomed in such a conspicuous manner?
Admittedly, there was a delicate subtlety to the clues, at first.
They’d sprouted with such daintiness, the only way to hold onto them, was if you knew what you were looking for. Surely enough, Ricky hadn’t intended to perceive them. He’d just been cursed with a quiet, observant demeanor; one that often led to him being stuck with awkward pieces of information, like he was now.
In consequence, Ricky had entangled himself with the knowledge that, as much as the sky was blue, and the stars were bright, they were in love. A fact that was hard to digest, yet one he’d grown to quickly accept as reality, albeit how uncomfortable it was.
Given the circumstances, Ricky had concluded that the most reasonable thing to do was to simply stay out of it. At least, it had been like that at the beginning. However, as the hints got larger and larger, and the situation reached a static boiling point, Ricky realized he could not afford to turn a blind eye any longer.
His chest hurt, but, oddly enough, it wasn’t hurting for him. It hurt for someone else.
Them.
At some point, it had become too painful to continue just being an observer. And, since he’d already been bestowed with the blasphemy of wisdom, the least he could do was have some fun with it.
So that’s exactly what he did.
pink
“Everything alright?” Hanbin skimmed his hand through the air, across from Ricky’s face. It was a small-scale attempt at catching his attention. “You look distracted.”
Ricky blinked lazily.
“Sorry.” He rubbed at his temples.
“I think that’s enough math for today,” Hao sighed, closing his textbook with a thud. “One more formula and I might just end it all.”
Hanbin let out a laugh. Ricky wondered if it really was that funny.
“We should take a break,” Hanbin agreed.
Hao forced another long sigh, head plunging forward. He was an inch away from smacking himself against the bare wooden desk when Hanbin cushioned his fall with his hand at the last second. Hao’s cheekbones ended up squished up between Hanbin’s fingers.
Hanbin grimaced.
“Careful,” he warned, with a disapproving frown. “The table might be dirty.”
Hao’s complaint was muffled by Hanbin’s palm, so Ricky couldn’t really hear what he was saying. Hanbin seemed to understand, though, as he stared at Hao for a moment too long.
“You should be careful anyway,” he mumbled.
Ricky pretended to be engrossed in his textbook.
“God, I’m so tired,” Hao groaned, finally angling his chin so that Ricky could pick up on his words. His lips graced Hanbin’s skin ever-so-slightly, a seemingly accidental move. Regardless, the arm Hanbin was using to hold Hao’s jaw suddenly became stiff, almost like a frozen pole. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down rapidly too. Nervous reflex.
Ricky peeked at a nearby shelf before answering. “You and me both.” The overhead lights flickered once, twice, and thrice. The ambiance illumination dimming was a telltale sign that the library was going to close down soon. “We should get going."
Hanbin cleared his throat, voice faintly strained still. “Anyone feeling hungry?”
“I could eat something,” Hao rose, resting his mop of hair on Hanbin’s shoulder. It was a carefree action, but Hanbin appeared to have been calcified nonetheless. “Should we get the usual?”
Hao turned to smile softly at Hanbin. Ricky could’ve sworn his friend’s breath hitched somewhere in his chest.
Pink.
The whole scene had lasted no longer than a blink, however; vanishing as fast as it had happened. Ricky could only wonder whether it had been real or if his mind was just playing tricks on him.
He nodded in agreement, opting for blissful ignorance.
“Let’s go.”
coral
The Chinese restaurant wasn’t nearly as crowded as it was during weekends. It made sense, considering it was the middle of the week.
Besides two other couples, they were the only customers there. The delicious smell of greasy food flooded the atmosphere, and Ricky’s stomach rumbled in protest.
“Where should we sit?” Hao looked around.
“Wherever you like is fine.” Hanbin mirrored Hao’s steps from behind.
Ricky stalled for a moment.
Hao was the first one to sit down, striding towards the inner corner of the wall. Ricky followed suit. When he pulled back the booth next to Hao, a single hand stopped him.
He didn’t have to look up to know who it was.
Of course, it was Hanbin.
Ricky peeked at him with a raised eyebrow. Although the gesture was an obvious call out, Hanbin smiled, seemingly unaware.
“You might want to sit there, Ricky,” he pointed at the seat opposite Hao. His iron grip on the stool Ricky had initially chosen was made clear by the white skin choking his knuckles. The grin on his face remained as innocent as always. “It looks more comfortable.”
Ricky’s eyes widened a shade, but he didn’t protest. He nodded, quietly sitting down in his newly designated place instead. “Thanks, Hanbin.”
Hanbin beamed, satisfied. He definitely believed he’d gotten away with it, precariously blind to just how much attention Ricky paid to detail.
“I’m starving,” declared Hao, and, once again, Hanbin clocked a laugh.
Ricky sneaked a cautious glance at Hao, if anything, to check whether he’d noticed what was going on. He seemed peacefully oblivious to Hanbin’s change in demeanor, though, scanning the menu with a relaxed wrist. (The same menu Hanbin had scrambled to reach for him less than a minute ago).
Since no one besides himself seemed to perceive the switch, Ricky decided the best thing to do was to let it go. It might’ve just been a coincidence, after all.
“Ricky, remember that guy from the other day?” Hao spoke up after a while. “The one I told you about.”
Ricky had to make a great effort to maintain a straight face. Through the corner of his eyes, he detected Hanbin awkwardly shifting in his seat.
“Yes, I remember. Why?”
“I saw him again yesterday,” Hao informed, cheerfully. “I might talk to him… at some point.” He giggled, naive.
Ricky strained out a clumsy laugh, as well. Hanbin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Good luck with that, I guess,” he mused. He had hoped that would be the end of it, but, apparently, it wasn’t.
“Ah, he’s my ideal type, really,” Hao gushed, covering his red ears with his thumbs. “He’s tall and handsome, and–”
The chair screeched against the floor when Hanbin stood up. Ricky and Hao looked up in shock.
“What’s wrong?” Hao asked.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Hanbin muttered, gaze fixated somewhere behind them. “I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, okay,” Hao seemed slightly taken aback. “Everything alright?”
Hanbin’s smile was painfully fake.
“Yeah, I just drank too much water.”
Coral.
Ricky watched intently as he strolled away. There was an uncanny tenseness to his shoulders, although Ricky didn’t comment on it.
rose
The queue behind the counter elongated indefinitely, an arrangement of limbs that oddly resembled a humanoid centipede.
They’d been standing at the core of the coffee shop way too long already; Ricky’s feet pulsing with soreness, and his nose faintly drowsy at the fragrance overstimulation of freshly brewed beans. As he allowed his sense to drown in the unfamiliar conversations between strangers, his awareness dwindled dangerously. The only thing keeping him awake was the bitter scent hanging in the air, and well… Them.
“Stop it,” Hao giggled, pulling at Hanbin’s shoulder with as little strength as possible.
“But it’s true, you look cute when you do that,” Hanbin said, a wide grin engulfing his cat-like features.
Could they possibly get any more annoying? Ricky was about to find out.
“I don’t,” Hao’s fingers dug into the side of Hanbin’s sweater with vehemence. Ricky assumed he was trying to give Hanbin another friendly push as a response to the teasing, but Hao never actually let go. Ricky buried a groan somewhere within his chest.
“Can you guys be quiet? I have a headache.”
The supposed headache had their names written in bold letters, but Ricky respected their privacies enough not to say that out loud.
“Sorry,” Hanbin pouted, resting a hand on Hao’s back, recklessly close to his waist. “I think I have some ibuprofen if you want one.”
“I’m fine,” Ricky sighed. It wasn’t like a single pill was going to disentangle the unresolved tension in the atmosphere, anyway. “I just need some caffeine.”
Ricky was about to change topics in favor of their future exams when a guy came barrelling in their direction. He was carrying a disposable cup of coffee in one hand, his phone precariously balanced in the other. Ricky smelled disaster before it transpired.
“Move it,” the guy said, stampeding past them.
“Watch out,” warned Hanbin, although belatedly.
Hao took a step back at the wrong time. As his elbow encountered the guy’s wrist, a flood of liquid came gushing down, plastering itself on Hao’s covered forearm. Ricky felt the scorch as if it was his own.
“Ouch,” Hao cried. At the same time, the guy exclaimed:
“Are you dumb?”
Those within the crammed space gaped silently at the unfolding fuss. Ricky paced forward, prepared to serve as an assertive mediator. He stopped dead in his tracks, though, when to everyone’s surprise, Hanbin took the lead.
“Dude, back off,” he hissed, sliding his body between Hao and the guy without much thought. Ricky observed his defensive stance from afar. As Hao’s figure became successfully blocked from the guy’s view, he relaxed.
“It was your fault for rushing,” Hanbin scowled, proffering the guy a cold glare. As he turned toward Hao, his expression softened: eyes turned gentler, tone soothing rather than intimidating. “Are you okay?”
Hao nodded reassuringly, rubbing the burn site with his other hand. “It’s fine, really. It wasn’t too hot.”
“Are you sure?” Hanbin checked Hao’s injury from various angles. He scrutinized every inch of skin before deeming it acceptable to loosen his grip. The crinkles on his forehead revealed he was still pretty much seething at the guy, though.
“Yes,” insisted Hao.
Still, Hanbin maintained his protective clutch. “Does it burn?”
Hao shook his head. “It’s fine, really.”
Enraged at the lack of attention, the guy spoke up again. “The least you can do is pay so I can get another one,” he gestured at his half-empty cup.
Ricky felt like he was watching a slow-mo. As soon as the guy was done talking, Hanbin turned around with a murderous expression and a tightened jaw. Without hesitating, he pulled out his wallet in a swift motion.
“Here,” he threw a five-dollar bill at the guy’s face. “You happy? Leave us alone now.”
A collective gasp pierced through the unintentional audience, including Ricky. That was definitely a first. Witnessing borderline hostile Sung Hanbin felt like a once-in-a-lifetime sort of event. Ricky pursed his lips so as to stifle a snort.
As the guy scrambled away with the money, Hao let out a breathy chuckle. Ricky comprehended that Hanbin’s sudden behavioral changes could only mean one thing.
Ros–
“Hi.” The girl appeared out of nowhere. “You were really cool before,” she giggled, cheeks bright pink. “My friend over there was wondering if she could get your number.” She gestured at another nearby girl before her gaze was hooked on Hanbin again.
Ricky’s ear perked up. Hanbin blinked a couple of times, visibly taken aback. It took him a few beats to realize the girl was addressing him and not Ricky or Hao.
“Sorry, what?”
Ricky seized the opportunity to pilfer a glance at Hao. An unreadable look possessed his features, and a dangerous something twitched behind his seemingly calm, collected appearance.
Ricky held his breath in expectation.
“My friend wants your number. She thinks you’re very attracti–”
Right on track, Hao abruptly bent over, clutching the spot that had been blazed by the guy’s coffee. The presumed pain didn’t match his expression. “Ouch,” he whined, regaining Hanbin’s focus. “It hurts.”
Sly, very sly.
Ricky had to choke down a snigger. The area Hao was holding wasn’t one bit red, but that piece of information conveniently slipped past Hanbin’s judgment.
“I’ll get you some ice,” Hanbin hushed, offering an apologetic nod to the girl. “I’m sorry. I’m busy right now.”
He interlocked his fingers with Hao’s, carefully dragging him towards the counter. For an instant, a satisfied smirk flashed through Hao’s lips. It was so swift, Ricky had to blink twice. However, by this point, he knew better than to pretend the signs were only a part of his imagination.
Rose.
rouge
Ricky was beyond drained.
Hanbin had been staring at his phone for the past half hour, sneaking stealthy glances at the blank screen every couple of minutes, whenever he believed Ricky wasn’t attentive. There were no new messages yet, and Ricky’s patience was hanging by a thread that got thinner by the second.
“Dude,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. “Why don’t you just call him?”
Hanbin shook his head sternly. “I don’t want to bother him.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“And?”
“I’m sure he won’t mind you calling him,” Ricky pressed a thumb to his aching forehead.
Hanbin fiddled with his pen for a moment. “I’d rather just wait.”
Ricky was about to manhandle Hanbin’s phone, when the coffee shop’s doorbell chimed, announcing a new customer. Hanbin immediately glanced around, much like an over-expectant puppy, eyes scanning around eagerly.
Eventually, his gaze landed on the person he’d been anticipating since they’d arrived.
Hao waved happily before plopping down next to Hanbin, at the same time Hanbin’s posture became more relaxed.
“I’m sorry,” Hao said, in the form of a greeting. “I didn’t mean to make you guys wait for me.”
“Hi,” Ricky’s voice was drowned by Hanbin’s keen welcoming.
“Hao!”
He rested his head on Hao’s shoulder like he’d missed it, rubbing his cheek against the other boy’s jacket. Hao raised his hand almost automatically, gently patting Hanbin’s neck in return.
Their actions didn’t faze Ricky one bit.
“I’m really sorry,” Hao said again. “I got sidetracked on my way here.”
“It’s fine,” said Hanbin, at the same time Ricky deadpanned:
“Did you fall into a ditch or something?”
The truth was, if it hadn’t been for Hanbin’s anxious leg-shaking during the past thirty minutes, Ricky wouldn’t have noticed nor cared about Hao’s tardiness.
Hao’s cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink. When he covered his mouth to mute his giggling, Ricky presaged it had been a mistake to ask.
“No,” Hao dragged the last letter. “But…”
There was a brief pause. Hanbin stood impossibly still. At that point, Ricky really wished he had the ability to shut someone up with the power of his mind.
“I got his number,” Hao announced.
“Ah…”
Hao flashed a shy smile at Ricky. “I asked for his number today in class,” Hao explained, gleefully. “He told me his name is Jiwoong.”
Hao wasn’t done speaking, but Ricky was surely done listening. His focus had inadvertently been stowed on Hanbin. The more Hao talked, the further Hanbin sank into his seat. It was painful to watch, really. The room had been stirred into tense territory, but Hao hadn’t gotten the memo yet.
“Anyway.” Hao was seemingly unaware of the mood shift he’d caused. Hanbin looked like he’d been hit by a truck. God. “How are you guys doing?”
“We’re fine,” Ricky interjected, abstaining from glancing worriedly at Hanbin. “We were just waiting for you.”
Hao grinned brightly, unknowing. “Aw, that’s cute.” He pampered Hanbin’s brown hair with his fingers. Hanbin melted against his touch regardless. “Everything okay, Hanbin?”
Hanbin nodded; a gloomy semblant.
Rouge.
Although Ricky made repeated attempts to get him to engage in the conversation again, Hanbin kept his mouth shut for the rest of the study session.
raspberry
It shortly dwelled upon Ricky that he would have to take action sooner or later.
The state of affairs between his two best friends was not only driving him quite literally insane, but it was also taking a toll on his conscience. It was very apparent that they both liked each other and yet… Ricky had never met anyone as frustrating as them.
To say there were obtuse fools would be an understatement.
All in all, Ricky had done his best effort not to intervene, however, in the end, the endeavor had irremediably proven to be impossible. Ricky feared that if he didn’t take matters into his own hands pronto, his friends would end up entangled in a much greater mess.
“So…” Ricky started by testing the waters. Hanbin was sitting next to him, phone in hand, eyes fixated on the screen, just like they were whenever Hao wasn’t around.
Ricky was painfully aware of the fact that Hanbin’s every waking moment consisted of him making himself available for Hao, basically.
“Is there anyone you’re interested in?”
Hanbin blinked repeatedly. He seemed way too taken aback by the question to react properly.
“What?”
“Are you crushing on anyone right now?” Ricky insisted.
“No, of course not,” Hanbin frowned as if Ricky’s insinuation was outrageous. It didn’t fly past Ricky that a cloud of heat traveled from Hanbin’s neck up to his cheekbones, betraying his answer.
“Mhm…” Ricky mused, relishing the brief stir of amusement. “That’s a relief.”
“Why?” Hanbin side-eyed him, a serious mask darkening his normally bubbly features.
They were spending their leisure day at Hanbin’s flat, watching an already-forgotten television series. Since Hao had made plans in advance to visit his family, he wasn’t joining. (Hanbin had moped Ricky’s ears out about this enough already). Nevertheless, his absence had provided Ricky with a perfect opening to deploy his carefully-set scheme.
“Oh, you know,” Ricky pretended to consider what he was about to say. “If you don’t mind, I was planning on asking Hao on a dat–“
Before Ricky could even finish the sentence, Hanbin was jolting and taking a leap forward. He almost knocked out Ricky from the couch, alongside their drinks resting nearby. It kind of reminded Ricky of a rabid hamster he’d once met before.
“Gosh,” Ricky shot Hanbin a dirty look.
After it clicked that he was doing a scene, Hanbin retracted timidly. His eyes remained wide with shock, though.
“Why would you do that?” He croaked, voice an octave higher than normal.
Ricky shrugged, feigning innocence. “Because I like him?”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do,” Ricky held back a laugh. “Why, do you care so much?”
Hanbin refused to lock gazes with him. “I don’t…”
“Oh, for god’s sake,” Ricky pulled at his hair. “Just admit you like him .”
Hanbin freeze-dried.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You do.”
“I don’t.”
“Then say it,” Ricky jutted his chin forward. “Say you don’t like him and say you’d be okay with me dating him.”
“As if he’d want to date you,” Hanbin muttered with a sour lisp. He sounded way too bitter for someone who was preaching he didn’t care.
Ricky chuckled. “Guess we’ll find that out soon.”
“You’re annoying.”
“I’m the annoying one?” Ricky asked rhetorically. “I’ve been watching you drool over Hao for months now, you know?”
“What?! You’re lying,” Hanbin crinkled his nose.
“I’m not,” Ricky was growing increasingly exasperated. “You’re so obvious, Hanbin. You could at least try to be a little bit more subtle.”
Hanbin glowered at the ground, choosing to ignore most of the words that were coming out of Ricky’s mouth.
“Do you really want to date him?”
“What do you think?”
“I’m not sure.”
Ricky stifled a huff.
“I don’t want to date him, Hanbin,” Ricky eventually sighed. “I was just trying to get you to admit your feelings.”
Hanbin turned at him with a grin so bright, it was almost sickening.
Raspberry.
“Well, that’s kind of a relief.”
“Ugh,” Ricky grunted, feeling his stomach churn. “Just get it together, man. ‘Cuz if you don’t make a move soon, someone else will beat you to it.”
Ricky’s remark clung to the air for a long while. It was enough to keep Hanbin pensive for the rest of the afternoon.
carmine
Surely enough, Ricky recognized that tackling only one side of the coin wouldn’t suffice.
The second elephant in the room needed to be addressed too if he expected to achieve any results at all. Although Hao wasn’t as tangible and transparent as Hanbin was with his feelings, Ricky could still see right through him.
Because, whilst Hanbin was stuck tripping over his words because of a smile, or waiting around for his name to be called, or even cussing out strangers just for the sake of being protective, Hao struck as someone impassive. Always undisturbed, never aloof. He had an aura of calmness around him that Hanbin didn’t seem to possess. One that seemed, in every sense, almost too perfect to be real.
It had been through this very sense of tranquility, that Ricky had finally gotten a glimpse of what was truly going on inside Hao’s mind. His serenity was nothing but a facade, one he could only seem to upkeep whenever Hanbin was around to provide balance.
The perfect yin and yang.
However, as foolproof as his disguise was, it still had flaws; and Ricky had learned exactly how to pick at them.
As the deafening sound of the rain engulfed the little shop, Ricky stared out the window ominously. He peeped at Hao shifting uncomfortably in his chair from the reflection of the glass. It had been a whole ordeal getting him there alone; after all, he and Hanbin seemed to be a discount package, buy one get one for free, always joined at the hip.
But nothing was too unfeasible for Ricky, though.
If anything, the copious amounts of water falling from the sky were nothing but a promising sign; an omen of the irremediable erosion of the rock.
Ricky pretended to pour his attention onto the textbook laid open in front of him. In reality, he was just waiting for the moment he knew would eventually come, without the need to force it out. Since Hanbin wasn’t there to fill the silence, and with it, all of Hao’s doubts, the false front was meant to crumble.
Ricky was just waiting for the moment when Hao’s intrusive thoughts would give in, flooding away freely, like the heavy dew outside.
“Don’t you think Hanbin has been acting weird lately?”
Ricky looked up from his book. Hao’s uncapped pen was dangling between his fingers, a crease drilling through the empty space between his brows.
Ricky suppressed a smile.
“How come?”
“I don’t know…” Hao lamented, sigh devoured by the noise of the falling rain. “He’s been acting different.”
“How come?”
“He gets all weird when I mention other people.”
“You’ll have to be more specific.” Ricky kept his tone neutral as if ardor wasn’t eating him alive.
Hao contemplated the question for a second. “He gets oddly quiet when I tell him about Jiwoong,” he said. “It’s not like him to do that.”
Ricky nipped at his tongue. He was well aware that, besides some light texting, Hao and Jiwoong didn’t have much going on between them. That didn’t mean Hanbin would get any less jealous, though.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Ricky shrugged nonchalantly.
“You think I’m making it up?”
Ricky granted him a pointed glance. “Maybe?”
“Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know,” Ricky examined his nails.“Have you considered you might like Hanbin?”
“What?”
He nodded solemnly. “Maybe you want him to be jealous, and you’re starting to imagine things.”
He was taking a big leap of faith there, Ricky was well-versed in that fact. But, he figured it was worth the risk. Hao wasn’t dense; at least, not as much as Hanbin was. Ricky knew that as long as he presented the idea in a way that wasn’t too overwhelming, Hao would comply to dissect and consider it.
“You think I like Hanbin?”
Ricky scraped the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
As if clockwork, Hao stood still. He appeared slightly shaken, mouth parted open, eyes vaguely out of focus. It reminded Ricky of a French puppet.
“I…” Hao stuttered. “I…”
He was quiet for a while after that, picking at his cuticles and anxiously staring out the window.
Carmine.
Ricky patted himself on the back mentally: the rock had successfully been eroded.
scarlet
At some point, it had become excruciatingly painful to watch them interact.
Belatedly, it dawned on Ricky that he’d opened up a gate that he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to withstand. After all, when it came to awkward love stages, his endurance wasn’t exactly the best. With each passing day, the umbrella of cringeness got larger and harder to resist, as Hao and Hanbin’s interactions got progressively more embarrassing.
“Sit,” Hanbin detached the chair from the table. He presented it to Hao with a hefty grin.
“No, it’s okay, you sit,” Hao shook his head, although Ricky could tell he was secretly pleased. The deep blush that dusted his ears, and the vigor with which he was clinging to Hanbin’s forearm were a dead giveaway.
“Seriously, take it,” Hanbin giggled, gently patting Hao’s hand as a reassurance.
Hao opened his mouth to protest. Ricky had had enough.
“Can someone just take the damn seat?”
Ricky wasn’t in the mood for nonsense. Still, his friends made the conscious decision to ignore him. Hao’s face gleamed before sitting down, and Hanbin’s smile almost swallowed his entire features. They were staring at each other as if their eyes held the answers to the secrets of the universe.
Yuck.
Ricky seriously considered gauging his eyes out so he wouldn’t have to witness such divine punishment anymore. Seriously, why was he even trying to get them together in the first place? They hadn’t even confessed yet, and they were already dizzyingly bothersome. Ricky could only imagine how disgusting they would get once they finally admitted to their feelings. He’d probably have to invest in some luxurious barfing bags or something.
His nausea was short-lived, though.
Brr. Brr. Brr.
Whilst Hanbin and Hao had been busy stealing longing glances at each other, a shadowy figure had emerged from the deepest circles of Hell. Or, in other words, Jiwoong’s contact number flashed brightly alongside a strident ringing tone on Hao’s phone.
He picked up hurriedly.
Hanbin frowned at his textbook, a wary semblant.
“Uh, hi, Jiwoong,” Hao said, in a hushed tone. “I’m alright, I guess. You?”
Hao’s eyes darted between Ricky and Hanbin before he made a gesture at the wall. He was taking the call elsewhere, so as to not disturb them.
Nonetheless, Hanbin’s eyesight remained glued to Hao’s back as he roamed through the shop. He went to stand by himself on a nearby corner, happily chatting into the phone.
Hanbin shrunk into the table, fading into the open textbook. His notes had now been fully neglected, replaced by the urge to mope like a puppy that had been kicked to the curb.
“Have some dignity,” Ricky whispered, eyeing his friend up with disapproving regard. “They are just talking.”
“Mhm,” Hanbin’s response was muffled by the blank sheets in his mouth.
“What was that?”
“Do you think he likes Jiwoong?” He repeated.
No. He likes you.
But Ricky couldn’t expose him like that yet.
“Does it matter?” He inquired, instead. “Just ask him out first.”
Hanbin wavered for a moment. “Easier said than done.”
Ricky chomped down the frustrated scream that was threatening to leave his throat.
When Hao came back, he seemed uneasy. He was uncomfortably shifting around and prying at his fingers.
“Sorry for that.”
“It’s fine,” Ricky said. “Everything okay?”
“Uh…” Hao looked over at Hanbin with a brooding expression. “Jiwoong said he wanted to take me on a date.”
There was a small pause. Ricky saw Hanbin’s fist clench under the table.
“And what did you say?” Ricky could already guess the answer.
“I said I’d think about it, but I’m not sure.”
There was a brief moment of silence, in which both of them turned to look at Hanbin.
“I think you should do it,” Hanbin nodded, bluffing a painfully forged smile.
Hao’s chest deflated. He was unable to hide his disappointment, but Ricky doubted Hanbin would pick up on it. “Oh. Okay.”
Both Hanbin and Hao recoiled back to their places quietly. All the progress Ricky had mustered had been thrown out the window, just like that, in less than a minute.
Hanbin and Hao didn’t cross stares for the rest of the study session.
Scarlet.
Ricky wondered if there was truly something he could do. Perhaps, they had been doomed from the start; unfit for each other, unfated.
Weirdly enough, the thought made Ricky’s own chest constrict in pain.
crimson
As the distance between Sung Hanbin and Zhang Hao grew to become a thorny, hollow ditch, Ricky was left to wonder whether he actually had it in him to remedy it. Perhaps, he’d gotten way too ahead of himself –too cocky at the idea of playing matchmaker for his friends–, to realize that love wasn’t some sort of alchemy he could easily manipulate.
It was a soft, delicate creature, that needed to be nurtured with utmost care; and Ricky’s handling couldn’t have been labeled as tender, exactly.
He’d learned this lesson the hard way.
Much like Icarus, Ricky had flown too close to the sun, and plummeted deep into the ocean, taking his friends down in the process. Now, it was up to him to pick up what was left of the scorched wax wings, as well as the broken pieces tangled within the smoldered mess.
Ricky squeezed his hands together.
“You look awful,” he said, scanning Hanbin’s face.
Naturally, he’d never mentioned anything about being gentler.
“I feel awful,” Hanbin smashed his forehead against the table with a thud. “I slept three hours last night. And the night before. And pretty much the entire week.”
Ricky didn’t need to inquire further to infer what was pestering Hanbin’s sleep pattern. The distress had a name and a pretty mole under his right eye. Zhang Hao. Hanbin’s massive purple eye bags were enough proof of that.
A sensation of guilt spread through Ricky’s bloodstream.
“Hanbin…”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again,” Hanbin drawled, lids dropping shut. Ricky worried he was going to fall asleep, but less than a second later he was standing up straight and chugging down what was left of his coffee in one smooth gulp. “Life is too hard.”
Ricky rolled his eyes at his friends’ dramatic antics, taking a sip of his own coffee. Ricky was downing his first cup, but judging by all the empty styrofoam laying on the desk, Hanbin was on his third.
“Don’t be a crybaby,” Ricky comfort wasn’t much of a comfort. “He’s just going on a date, not getting married.”
In effect, today was the day. The day Hao and Jiwoong were going on their first date.
If Ricky’s calculations were correct (which they always were), their date had actually begun a couple of minutes ago (details on how he’d gotten such confidential information were to be omitted, though).
In fact, the exact reason why he’d summoned Hanbin there had to do with that. Ricky was willing to give him a space where he could mope to his heart’s content, while he was stuck baring with it (barely), but, he also had an ace up his sleeve.
He owed Hanbin that much, at least.
“Listen, dude,” Ricky began.
"I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now, Ricky."
Ricky rolled his eyes. "It's not a lecture." It was, indeed, a lecture. "But you need to–" Ricky was cut short by the perfect intromission.
It was a relief, though, since he was certain Hanbin wasn't listening to him anyway. The ace had popped up.
“What are they doing here?” Hanbin whisper-shouted, as soon as his stare landed on the couple walking in through the shop’s glass doors. Jiwoong and Hao.
Ricky did a poor job of pretending to be shocked.
“Oh, what a surprise,” he recited, the monotonous tone threatening to blow his cover. “I so didn’t know this would happen.”
But Hanbin wasn’t listening to him at all.
Ricky sat back, spectator shades fully on.
“Oh… hello,” Hao seemed startled at the encounter.
Jiwoong caught up to him in one swift stride, placing a shy hand behind Hao’s back.
Hanbin’s eyes immediately glued themselves to Jiwoong’s restless fingers, as he traced them ever so slightly alongside Hao’s waist. His jaw twisted.
Ricky proffered him a subdued kick to the shin, so Hanbin would stop throwing mental daggers at them in such an obvious manner.
“Hello,” Jiwoong bowed his head cheerfully.
No one besides Ricky seemed to notice Hanbin’s heated mood, which was sort of a relief.
“Such an unexpected encounter,” Ricky echoed. “What are you guys doing here?”
Hao appeared to be wondering the same thing. Needless to say, Ricky knew exactly what they were doing there. He hoped his amusement wasn’t too evident.
“Uh…” Hao skimmed around the scene. “We are just… you know…”
“They’re your friends?” Jiwoong interrupted. He had a deep, velvety voice, Ricky noted.
Hao nodded sheepishly. Jiwoong’s grip on his back tightened, and Ricky could’ve sworn Hanbin was ready to jump forward.
“I’m Jiwoong,” the man in question extended his hand for them to shake.
Ricky didn’t need to be asked twice.
“I’m Ricky.”
“Hanbin.” Hanbin refused to move, opting to cross out his arms instead.
Jiwoong dropped his hand after a few beats. “Nice to meet you both,” he smiled, not one bit faced by Hanbin’s dismissiveness. He seemed like a nice guy, honestly. It was a pity Ricky would have to get him out of the picture so promptly, given how handsome he was. “I’ll buy our drinks and wait for you in the car.”
Jiwoong offered them one final head nod before smoothly walking away.
“This is such a weird coincidence,” Hao grimaced, as soon as Jiwoong was gone.
Yes, weird coincidence, and certainly not Ricky going through Hao’s phone while he was napping. Sure.
“Very, very weird,” Ricky agreed, dumbfounded.
Neither Hanbin nor Hao were paying attention to him, though. They were too immersed in sharing a longing gaze. Ricky resisted the urge to flinch, his smug grin wiped clean from his face. He cleared his throat loudly.
“So…”
Both Hanbin and Hao were shaken out of their shared intimate trance.
“I–” Hao stalled, shooting another pained glance at Hanbin. There was a tinge of desperation behind his eyes. “I should get going now.”
Nonetheless, he failed to move. His gaze searched for Hanbin once again.
But Hanbin looked away, opting to play with his fingers instead.
Ricky winced. Unknowingly, Hanbin had yielded a tragic answer to Hao’s wordless query. As he observed how Hao’s expression crumbled, the realization that he wasn’t going to get what he was expecting from Hanbin hitting, Ricky pondered whether it was possible to legally murder someone. He stepped on Hanbin’s foot, hard, but the cue was lost nonetheless. He’d never felt such an urge to shout at someone the way he wanted to shout at Hanbin now.
Hao sighed, deflated. He took a step back.
“See you around,” he waved them goodbye before walking away.
“What are you doing?” Ricky pounced, as soon as he was out of sight.
“Why are you yelling at me?” Hanbin seemed confused. Ricky wasted no time.
“You’re going to let him go?” He sneered. “Just like that?”
“What do you mean?”
As a matter of course, Hanbin had managed to miss every single hint.
“He wanted you to ask him to stay,” Ricky said. “Are you dense on purpose?”
“No?”
“Oh, my God. Stand up for once in your life, will you?”
“Don’t insult me?”
Ricky ran a frustrated hand through his hair, before forcibly pushing Hanbin out of his seat. Hanbin stared at him with wide, incredulous eyes.
“Go tell him how you feel,” Ricky demanded. “Now.” It wasn’t a suggestion anymore, it was an order.
Hanbin opened his mouth several times, like a fish out of the water. Nothing came out, though. Ricky pointed at the window with urgency: Hao hadn’t left yet, he was right outside the shop, typing away on his phone.
Hanbin took a second to decide.
“Fuck. Fine.”
There was no remnant of doubt in his voice anymore. He exited the store like a bullet on a mission, spine straight. When he reached Hao, he began talking. Although the latter appeared to be fairly shocked at his presence, he still listened carefully.
Ricky rubbed his chin.
At some point, Hanbin grabbed Hao’s hand, interlocking his fingers through Hao’s before holding them both close to his chest. They stayed in that position for a minute.
“Ah, he’s so predictable,” Ricky groaned to himself.
Because, of course, Hanbin would show his undoubtedly racing heartbeat to Hao as proof of his feelings. And, of course, Hao would flinch, pretending to be shocked.
The whole ordeal was so… them.
Even though Ricky couldn’t tell what they were saying, he was still able to watch. Hanbin continued to move his mouth non-stop for a while, whilst Hao just nodded, giving him the occasional heartfelt gasp. By the end of it, they were both crying and swabbing at each other’s tears, as Hao responded to everything Hanbin had said.
Just as Ricky began wondering if it would ever end, Hanbin and Hao stared fixedly at each other.
Ricky clutched the edge of his seat in expectation.
Slowly, but surely, a pair of mirroring smiles materialized on their lips, and they erupted in lively laughter. Ricky couldn’t help but laugh alongside them, even if they weren’t aware he was watching.
The anguish he’d been carrying for months now finally evaporated. What a ride.
Ricky turned his neck away just as Hao jumped into Hanbin’s arms, giggling happily as they both melted into each other. Hanbin pulled him closer, angling his jaw so they could kiss.
Crimson.
Ricky headed to the bathroom. At long last, he could afford to retire.
red
“Ah, really?” Ricky scoffed. “Right in front of me?”
Hao’s arms were stretched alongside Hanbin’s neck and shoulders, almost as if sitting on top of him wasn’t enough proximity.
“I’m sorry you hate happiness, Ricky,” Hao chuckled, pressing his temple against Hanbin’s. He tapped Hanbin’s nose softly, and Hanbin stared at him the way planets stared at stars: irrevocably adoring.
Ricky felt the sudden urge to gag.
“I don’t hate happiness,” he groaned, shaking his head. “I hate your happiness.”
It was a white lie, of course, but he had an image to uphold.
Hao kissed Hanbin’s cheek shamelessly. “Tomato, tomato.”
Ricky covered his own eyes. “Seriously, you guys are disgusting.”
“Sorry,” Hanbin chortled but proceeded to rub his hair against Hao’s fingers anyway. Hao patted Hanbin’s head with a grin. “You’ll find someone, too… someday.”
“So I can end up like you guys?” Ricky deadpanned. “No, thank you.”
“Oh, c’mon,” Hao tittered. “We can help.”
“I can set you up with one of my acquaintances,” prompted Hanbin.
Ricky didn’t bother concealing a sarcastic huff. He rolled his eyes. “Pft, yeah, I bet you can.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hao and Hanbin’s response was eerily coordinated. They were slowly becoming the same person, Ricky shuddered. And they seemed serious, which was ironic on way too many levels.
It means I’m the reason you’re together right now, you fools.
But he couldn’t say that, so instead, he said: “Nothing. I guess I’m just bitter.”
Hao and Hanbin nodded in agreement. Ricky bit his tongue again.
“Can we go back to studying now?”
“Ugh, so soon?”
Regardless of the complaints, Hao climbed off of Hanbin’s lap anyway.
“You’re such a killjoy, Ricky.”
Ricky couldn’t help but chuckle at the statement.
Oh, if they only knew...