Work Text:
It was hard to believe that just a day ago, he was being held in the chair as they tried to take away the memories of his daughter and the man on the bridge. No, not the man, Steve. The man's name was Steve, he was starting to remember. HYDRA seemed to learn a long time ago that it was a worse punishment to remember his former lover, so he could never forget her. The woman who gave him his wonderful daughter whom he was here to find.
Madison.
No, Meiying.
He called her Meiying.
Why would he give her that nickname?
It was a bit of a weird nickname if he did say so himself. It meant “beautiful spirit” in Mandarin.
It was special, like her.
——-
"Soldat."
Oh, how he loved when people believed he was actually on their side. It made his life a thousand times easier.
"Strucker has allowed me to see her. Will you open the door?”
"Very well." Some people are really dumb. And James didn't mind that. He input his thumb print to open the large metal door next to him.
"I'll be back in an hour."
Always an hour. It almost seemed too easy. All his life he had been fighting. Never getting the break he needed, so why did it finally stop now.
"Daddy?" Maybe it could be that easy. Two big, green eyes crept forward revealing a little girl no older than 7. She had long, dark brown hair that was hastily tied into a ponytail. She was small for her age, but the black uniform that was too big for her made her look worse. As a stranger surveying the young child, she looked muscular but still too thin and in need of a good meal. As a parent, though, James was filled to the brim with relief. His little girl was alive.
"Madison, hey, it's okay, baby, C'mere." As Madison Barnes leapt forward, engulfing him in a tight hug, a month's worth of neglect portrayed on the young child. Her malnourished frame looked worse as the child swam in her clothes. Her once big, innocent eyes were in shards and purposefully avoided contact with her father's. Whatever skin was showing was an unnatural display of blues and purples with accents of red.
“Meiying, what happened?”
"The Red Room’s training month."
Oh, did the assassin's heart break at those words. Four simple words that held so much meaning.
"I’m so sorry, Mads. Listen, we’re getting out of here, okay? Right now." James knew he was asking a lot. She had no reason to trust him after what he’s done. Hell, he left her alone for a month. A whole month. That’s longer than he’d ever left her. What kind of father does that? He let his own kid get beaten for a month. Granted, he didn’t know. But he should’ve.
“Daddy, what’s happening? Why did you leave? I started to think you weren’t coming back.” The small girl questioned, terrified, in Russian.
James’ father, who died almost 100 years ago was doing a better job parenting than he was. He had one job and he screwed it up. As he looked into his daughter's eyes, he could see what he'd done to her. The hesitation. The mistrust. The man’s heart was squeezed dry. He failed. Every compromised mission's brainwashing had nothing on this. He'd failed her.
“Baby, I’m sorry, I am so sorry, but we have to go right now,” he said.
“ … Ok, let’s go.”
Those three little words were what filled the father with hope. And maybe that's all he needed, hope. Maybe that's what kept him going. The hope that he could help the daughter he failed, give her a better life. Fix the life they were living. Because he is not helpless, and though he’d never acted like it, now he had a real chance to do something about it.
He stared into the eyes of his daughter as he gently stood up with her in his arms. James hurried out of the cell and retraced his steps back the way he came. Towards answers to unsolved questions, freedom, and away from the nightmarish life they had lived.
——-
For the following few weeks, they were forced to stay in Washington DC as the city borders were constantly patrolled and impossible to sneak through. The fall of SHIELD and HYDRA had put the capital into a lockdown. Hundreds of agents and civilians were dead, and thousands more injured after the Triskelion disaster.
The two had holed up in various motels and abandoned buildings because HYDRA and the police were everywhere. He’d been pickpocketing for cash and taking clothes from thrift stores and lost and found stations. All the while trying to contact a contractor with some information a friend had provided a while back. Finally, he had some luck and arranged for documentation and a safe house with Rick Mason.
He was starting to remember more and more. But there were still some memories that he couldn’t make a lot of sense of. So many memories of the red headed woman whom he saw fought several weeks ago. Madison’s mother.
Natalia Romanova.
Though now, apparently, she went by Natasha Romanoff. Which wasn’t much a name change but, whatever.
James often went to the Smithsonian museum to the Captain America exhibit. He made his way to the section with “Notable friends and associates”. To his luck, he found a board dedicated to Bucky Barnes and his life.
He did recall some things: a small, sickly blonde boy who resembled the man on the bridge and the helicarrier.
Steve, not ‘the man’.
He also remembered training with the redhead, falling into ice and snow, Madison, but mostly missions and people he’d killed.
About a month after HYDRA fell, the patrols around the city were finally lightening up.
He’d gone to the museum again because he had a fresh new batch of questions. He walked through the majestic halls of the Smithsonian. Past models of the Apollo 11, stuffed mammoth dolls, and paintings whose eyes followed you like those of a parent to a guilty child.
He found the board depicting the life of Bucky Barnes and began reading. Being so engrossed in the tales about this boy whom he barely remembered being, he was late in noticing the feeling of being watched.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up at the feeling. He turned around to see Natasha Romanoff staring back.
She stood in a corner, her eyes glassy, wearing a gray striped hoodie as not to be recognized. He couldn’t tell if she was smiling or crying.
———
It took some convincing, but he eventually agreed to stay at Natasha’s apartment for a few days with Madison. But he’d failed to take into account that she had believed for years that their daughter was dead. When he told Natasha she was alive and well, she was in shock. Nothing compared to the wave of emotion when he and Madison arrived at her apartment in the city and Natasha embraced the 8 year old in a tight hug, as if she would never let her go. And Madison had clearly missed her mother too as she cried and hugged her back.
They both showered and she made sure they eat some real(ish) food (because takeout was all she could come up with). He’s lived off of IV bags and calorie pills for years, so it’s taken him a few tries before he can keep food down.
On the second day, Natasha gives him a file. She’d looked for him for a long time, but eventually had to call her search off. Still keeping the information she’d found in a folder she just couldn’t get rid of.
James Barnes was born on March 10, 1917 to George and Winnifred Barnes and had 3 younger sisters: Rebecca, Annie, and Winnie. He had been an excellent athlete and also excelled inside the classroom. He was a World War II veteran, former officer of the 107th Infantry Regiment and the best friend of Steve Rogers since childhood. In 1943, his unit was captured by HYDRA, where Barnes was given a variant of the Super Soldier Serum by Arnim Zola. Later, his whole unit was rescued by Rogers. Upon joining forces, Barnes and Rogers formed the Howling Commandos, to battle Red Skull's forces. However, during the attempt to finally capture Zola in the Austrian Alps, the mission went sideways and Barnes fell hundreds of feet from a train. As no body was recovered, he was presumed deceased and honored as a hero who died in service to his country.
When HYDRA found him, they brought him back to Russia, amputated what was left of his arm, and attached a metal prosthesis. As soon as he was healed, they began his training, which spanned over several years in between cryo-freezing sessions and missions.
If his math was right and it usually was, he’d spent a little over 14 years awake. His aging process must have been enhanced too, because there was no way he looked like he was in his early 40s.
Following his initial training, according to HYDRA’s files, his army skills were refined and expanded, all while he was going through several experiments and enhancements. He remembered some of these. Being strapped to a table while masked doctors injected different colored liquids into him. Some had no effect. Others made him feel as though fire was running through his veins until he passed out from the pain. He did not remember those fondly.
—---
After 3 days, his contractor called with the location for an available safe-house, so they had to leave DC. Natasha had to stay on call in the city in case SHIELD or the Avengers needed some help cleaning up a mess.
He hacked an ATM for cash, bought a burner cell, and stole a car. He and Madison drove to Quebec, Canada through a cartel road. Then stowed away on a ship to Portugal. There, they met Mason at a safe house in Lisbon, where he gave them fake IDs, passports, go-bags, weapons and other necessities.
———
He took contract jobs to pay for everything and started saving up. Rates started small, but thanks to his track record, they quickly improved. He tried not to take kill missions, but sometimes it was all he could do to pay the bills. And it’s not like he didn’t vet the contracts beforehand. He never wanted to hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.
They stayed in Lisbon for a while, then relocated to London, UK, then again to Graz, Austria. It wasn’t safe to stay anywhere longer than a month. On one’s own, it was easy enough to stay below the radar, but going anywhere with a kid made it hard to go unnoticed. They were very nearly caught by HYDRA bounty hunters several times while in hiding. He had one advantage though… no one knew he had a child with him.
—----
2 years later…
Home.
It was a new concept to Madison.
It was something that she assumed that she would never get. Until her father and herself started living in Bucharest 2 years after escaping HYDRA.
They would never be truly normal, but they could try. And if that started with Madison refusing to sit still while her father tried to cut her hair, then so be it.
"C'mon, kid. Quit moving or this will take longer."
"Stop pulling it then.”
It was something simple, but to Madison, it meant everything. She and her father had fallen into a routine. The now 10 year old would wake up and do her online school assignments(while under a false name of course) and he would go out on errands, grocery shopping, meet a contact or attend to whatever business he could locally. It was their normal and that was okay.
She was happy. And she guesses that's when everything just had to go wrong. Because without everything going to shit, what kinda story would that be?
"Stay here, I’m going to buy more food, I’ll be back in 30 minutes… Please, please, I’m begging you, dont blow anything up."
"But why can't I go with you? I don’t want to do my math homework, I don’t know how."
"Look, your mom said she could come here tomorrow and her visit wouldn't be fun if we didn't have food, right?”
“We could go out to eat?” the nine year old tried to reason.
“... Alright, here’s my offer. I’m gonna leave right now to buy some food, I will be back in 30 minutes… maybe I’ll see your favorite dessert on the way. When I get back, I’ll help you with the first few problems but you do the rest on your own… Deal?"
Deflated, Madison sighed, "Deal."
And so Madison continued to pretend to know what multiplying radical expressions was at age 10.
Normal.
It was their normal.
———
“Uh… sorry, I must have the wrong apartment." A man in a navy stealth suit, who was holding a large red white and blue dinner plate with a star in the middle randomly appeared in their small apartment after she came out of the bathroom.
He looked around very awkwardly, and he faintly resembled the man from the museum.
"You know, I was really trying to not have to hold someone at gunpoint today." she said. It almost sounded as if she was exasperated through her faint(ish) Russian accent.
"Ummm…”
"Look, my father says I shouldn’t do that anymore." Madison started, grabbing the hidden gun from under the table.
"But what's the point of hanging up your cleats if you know you're gonna relapse anyways? … Now, hand over your weapons."
"You're like five."
"I'm ten, asshole."
The unnamed man raised his eyebrows, and for some odd reason she felt bad about holding him at gunpoint.
"You're the one with the gun, kid."
"Look, I could kill you if I wanted to, but…“ an idea popped into her clever little mind. “ … hey, do you know how to multiply radicals?”
The unnamed man now looked more confused than ever. “Uhhh… yes?” “
“Help me out, or stay quiet while we wait for my dad to get back. Your choice."
The man stared at the girl, as if questioning why he was considering his choices.
Then from somewhere on the man, Madison heard, "What's going on there, Cap?"
"I… I think I'm being held captive by a 10 year old."
For the first time, in a very long, petrifying time, Madison laughed. She couldn't describe the feeling. She felt the corners of her mouth turn up, but it wasn't in a grimace. It felt natural, yet unnatural at the same time. Her destroyed heart, that was only held together by her parents, was patched together. Old memories weaving themselves together to fix the mangled heart. Trying to fix the mess left by the Red Room.
"You okay, kid?"
"Yeah, now can you help me or not?"
——-
As the father rushed home after seeing the newspaper all he could think of was the man, Steve, who had probably found his way here. Just because this guy can't seem to leave them alone. While it was nice to have someone look out for you, this guy had no idea he had a daughter for Christ's sake. He ran up the steps three at a time, not taking any chances. As he opened the door he honestly wanted to laugh. His daughter, his pride and joy, was holding Steve hostage as he worked on some worksheet.
"Madison, put the gun down," the assassin sounded exasperated.
"He broke into the apartment– "
"I know, I know, just put it down and come here," Bucky ordered, switching to Russian.
The ten year old slumped down from her chair and walked over to her father while he grabbed a small backpack off a rack and knelt down to her level, hands on her small shoulders.
“We need to leave now. Put on your sunglasses, keep your head down and don't stop. I will meet you as soon as possible. You understand?" Bucky watched his daughter silently agree with him and attempted to squeeze him to death.
He watched his daughter go out into the world alone, before turning back to the elephant in the room.
"Who's she?"
" … I’m assuming they’re after me? … I wasn’t in Vienna." Bucky said, changing the subject. He watched his former best friend survey the room instead, avoiding his eyes.
That's when the assassin understood. No matter how fast they ran, someone would always catch up. Whether that thing was HYDRA or the freaking UN there was nowhere they could go that they would not be found.
"This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck."
"... It always ends in a fight." And just like always, it did. The two supersoldiers fought in sync, as they quickly took out the police force that was tasked to take both the father and the daughter. Bucky quickly found a clear lane, one that'd take him away from the fight, one that would take him to his daughter.
So what if they had to run again. They were a family, and families stick together. Was Steve his family at one point? Is that why the stalker couldn't just leave them alone? Because at one point they were family? His fatherly instincts pulled him out of his thoughts. James kicked the policeman he was fighting out the door but was then halted by the man of the hour.
"Buck, stop! You're gonna kill someone."
Okay, so maybe this was a bad time to mention it, but maybe Bucky Barnes had some anger management issues. Or possibly, he was just pissed at the Captain for disrupting the normal of their life.