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Nico felt lost, genuinely lost. For the past 3 days, there had been both a complete sense of emptiness inside him, and also the feeling that everything was going to spill over the top, every emotion would come pouring out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He’d first felt it on Thursday, he’d been in his cabin, putting on his pajamas, when it hit him. This overwhelming darkness, and it felt like a part of him had been wrenched out of his body. Immediately, he knew what it was; he could no longer feel Jason. He stumbled backward, his heart and mind searching for the others energy, but it was lost. At that moment, his cabin felt stifling, like it was getting smaller and smaller around him and eventually it would shrink completely and shrink him with it, so he ran.
He ran out of his cabin onto the green, not caring about the fact that the grass was wet from the light rain they’d gotten earlier for the sake of the strawberries. His first thought was to go to The Big House, he needed to tell Chiron, or someone at least. Though he didn’t make it that far before he fell onto the grass, tears finally brimming in his eyes. His hands fisted the dirt as hot tears fell onto the green and he screamed, the ground opening up around him. Small bones started to rise from the cracks, forming quickly into the skeletons of animals, squirrels, rabbits, a few mice, even what looked like a cat. They crowded around him like a shield, nuzzling against him as best they could. For a moment, Nico almost willed the ground to swallow him up, but right as he started to sink into the soft earth beneath him, a hand grabbed his shoulder, wrenching him up slightly.
He cried out as he was pulled up, and realized that he’d actually been pulled out of the ground, his forearms now covered in soil from where they’d sunk into the green. “Nico!” Someone shouted, followed by a quiet curse as one of the skeletons nipped at them, but he couldn’t focus on their voice, or identify it. His mind was divided between finding his friend, his best friend, and trying to will the ground to take him down with him. It wasn’t until he felt a hard smack that he finally snapped back to reality, his eyes focusing in on the bright blue eyes and red and green hair of Kayla Knowles staring back at him. “Shit, man…” she muttered, straightening back up and flattening her bangs a little. “Ow…” Nico mumbled, one of his hands coming up to rub his cheek as he looked around. Several people were surrounding him, and he could see the nights campfire still blazing further away in the green. He recognized them as Malcolm Pace, Lou Ellen, Kayla of course, Austin, and Will.
Will.
He looked scared shitless, crouched on the grass behind him in a pair of basketball shorts and a white tank top. There was a small nick on his calf, and Nico realized that it had been him that had been bitten by one of the dead animals. Speaking of which, his small army had begun to advance on Kayla now, but Nico quickly shot his hand out and made them fall apart and sink back into the ground. Hot tears were still falling down his face, but he felt that he was present, at least. “What the hell happened?” Lou Ellen asked, and Nico noticed that she looked much younger when she didn’t have makeup on and her hair wasn’t teased. “It’s-“ Nico looked back to Will, his voice sounding rougher than he meant it to. “It’s Jason.” Instantly, a tension filled the air.
“How do you know..?” Malcolm asked, swallowing and looking down at the ground as he did so. “I felt it” Nico said simply, he wasn’t sure how else to describe it beyond that, and that was really all that needed to be said anyway. He looked back to where Will was crouched and scooted closer to him, not protesting as he wrapped his arms around him. Will was warm, and provided at least a small bit of comfort. If Nico was honest, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to be comforted, if there was even anything that could be done to help. He felt empty.
-
Will was surprisingly good about helping people through grief, though Nico guessed that was from all of the post-war healing he’d had to do over the years.
That first night, he’d helped him back up and taken him back to cabin 13, ordering him to take a long shower- hot or cold, it didn’t matter- and try to get over the initial shock. While he’d been showering he’d grabbed some clothes for him from cabin 7, not because he didn’t have pajamas, but because Nico had always considered Wills clothes to be more comfortable. And, most of Nicos clothes were either tight or relatively form fitting, which was terribly stifling.
After Nico changed into the clothes- a sweatshirt and shorts- Will had to go back, as much as both of them didn’t want him to.
“Why can’t you sleep in one of the other bunks?” Nico had asked, his hands shoved into the front pocket of the sweatshirt. “Neeks, if I thought I could do that without getting shredded by the harpies, I would, trust me.” Will said, looking like he was about to burst into tears of his own. He’d been surprisingly calm this whole time, sure, he and Jason weren’t exactly close, but it was like a switch had flipped, like he’d gone into doctor mode over the last hour or so since Nico had told that group gathered around him on the green. “I’ll come and see you as soon as I wake up and get dressed, okay?” Will promised, pulling Nico into a hug and resting his chin on the top of his head for a minute before pulling away and heading back to cabin 7, leaving Nico behind with his grief.
Will was true to his promise though, when Nico finally rolled over in the morning, his boyfriend was sitting on the edge of his bed, armed with a bottle of Gatorade and several muffins that he’d snagged from the dining pavilion, kicking off day 2- or probably day 1 of grieving.
-
That was 2 days ago though, most of which had been spent in the infirmary with Will, in Chirons office, or at the Big House table with Mr D. Nico still felt terrible, his heart still searching for Jason, on both Earth and the Underworld. On the actual second day, he’d actually taken a trip down to the Underworld- much to Wills dismay- to see his father. He’d begged and pleaded with Hades to tell him where the boy had gone, if he was in Elysium, or at least the Fields of Asphodel, but his father had denied everything. He wasn’t sure if it was because Hades wanted to make sure that Nico didn’t go looking for Jason to bring him back like he had with Hazel when looking for Bianca, or if he truly wasn’t sure where the son of Jupiter was.
-
“Come on, I’ll walk you back” Will whispered after dinner, reaching for Nicos hand under the table as the dryads started to gather up their plates and glasses. Nico followed after him to cabin 13, paying little attention to the counselors setting up the campfire for later. They climbed the steps of the cabin, still holding onto each other like if they let go, the other would disappear. “Do you have work in the infirmary tomorrow?” Nico asked, to which Will nodded. It was a dumb question, Will always had work in the infirmary, but Nico wasn’t quite ready to part with the son of Apollo yet.
“Yeah, but only in the morning, so we could maybe do something in the afternoon, doesn’t have to be anything big” Will scratched his neck with his free hand, his tone just as soft as Nicos. “Alright, I’ll try to come by” Nico said with a small nod, pulling his hand away and reaching for the door. Will was quick, very quick, so quick that Nico had hardly any time to react before the other reached back for him- one hand going to his shoulder and the other cupping his cheek- and kissed him.
Will was also so quick, that before Nico could really and truly register that Will had just kissed him and that that had been his first kiss, he was pulling away with worried eyes and shaky hands.
“Nico I am so sorry, that was so inappropriate, oh my gods-“ Nico stopped him, reaching back for one of the hands that he’d pulled away, and leaned up to press their lips together again. Wills lips were warm and tasted like the lemonade he’d been drinking at dinner a few minutes earlier, but Nico wasn’t thinking about that. He was thinking about the fact that this was his second kiss with his boyfriend, his wonderful boyfriend Will Solace, and that for the first time since Thursday, he’d actually felt like there was some light in his life.
The kiss didn’t last long, but based off of the bright red blush covering Wills cheeks, you would’ve thought they'd been making out for 5 minutes. “Goodnight” Nico said quietly, pulling away once again and opening the door with a small smile. It felt weird to contort his lips into the shape, given what he’d been going through for the past few days, but part of it was because he couldn’t help it. Will still looked dumbfounded- despite being the one that had initiated the kiss- as Nico closed the door, leaning on the wood once he was in the privacy of his own cabin.
Part of him felt guilty for a multitude of reasons. For one he’d just kissed a boy, there was a very blatant line between just dating- holding hands and going on dates and such- and kissing. Also, he’d kissed Will despite everything going on, he’d let himself have something good, wasn’t that bad? Wasn’t that a disservice to Jason? Nico shook his head as he walked over to his bed, tugging off the clothes he’d been wearing and slipping on Wills sweatshirt and shorts. He didn’t know how to feel, what he did know, was that he enjoyed the kiss, both of them, and that despite all of the darkness inside him currently, there was a small speck of light now. It wasn’t a lot, definitely not enough to heal him, but enough to where he could at least start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And as he felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier, he silently hoped that there would be more kisses to come, not necessarily tomorrow, or the day after that, or the week after that, but someday.