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“Children!” Phil calls, even though they aren’t actually children right now. “Time to go!”
Tommy and Tubbo come skidding towards the front door, shoving each other as they go. Phil smiles, shaking his head. Even when they aren’t regressed, they always act like children.
“Where’s Ranboo?” Wilbur asks, and Phil pauses.
“Coming,” Tommy says simply, but when he turns around, he stops. “They were- were right behind us, I-”
Phil takes off into the kitchen, where the two came from, pushing Tommy and Tubbo lightly out of the way to get there faster. If Ranboo is small, like Phil suspects, he needs to get to them as soon as possible.
And, sure enough, Ranboo’s on the floor just behind the doorframe between the living room and the kitchen, looking stunned. Phil drops to the floor next to them, brushing their hair back from their face.
“Hey, Boo,” Phil murmurs, kissing Ranboo’s forehead. “Small?”
It’s fairly normal for Ranboo to go baby suddenly and collapse onto the floor, so Phil isn’t worried. They’re normally too small to stand on their own, which means finding them sitting on the floor like this isn’t unusual.
Ranboo nods, which is expected, but what isn’t expected is when they start crying. It’s silent crying, but tears are sure streaming down their face at alarming rates. Phil gasps softly, then turns around, covering Ranboo’s ears.
“Will!” he calls loudly, making sure to keep Ranboo’s ears completely covered. “Get in here! Need someone to hold the baby.”
There are running footsteps, then Will is there. He quickly scoops Ranboo up into his arms with a soft coo, holding them against his chest with one hand under their bottom and the other on their back. Ranboo whines, wrapping their arms and legs around Will and burying their face in his shoulder.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Will murmurs, kissing Ranboo’s hair and rocking back and forth lightly - Phil’s not entirely sure the rocking is to calm the baby, since Will is known for rocking on his heels a lot.
“Owie,” Ranboo mumbles, voice crackly.
Will blinks, but Phil glances up at the doorframe and has to choke back a laugh. There’s a slight dent in the top of it, as if Ranboo went too fast and forgot to check for a doorframe - which is entirely likely.
Will looks at Phil oddly. Phil jerks his head towards the top of the doorframe, and Will has the same reaction Phil had.
“Oh, poor baby,” Will cooes, bringing his hand up from Ranboo’s back to ruffle their hair. “Did you hit your head on the doorframe?” Ranboo nods sadly into Will’s shoulder, sniffling pitifully. “Poor, sweet, innocent baby. We need to get higher doorframes, huh?”
Ranboo doesn’t respond to that, just squishes their face closer into Will’s shoulder.
“Is Ranboo small?” Tommy asks loudly, skidding into the kitchen.
“Shut,” Phil tells Tommy quickly when Ranboo starts to whine. “You know they don’t like loud noises.”
“Sorry,” Tommy says sheepishly, ducking his head. Then, after a moment: “Well, are they?”
“Most likely,” Will confirms, “but I don’t want to assume. What was that?” he adds when Ranboo mumbles something.
“‘Aby,” Ranboo says again, slightly louder.
“I think that answers your question,” Tubbo pipes up from behind Tommy - Phil didn’t even see him behind the taller boy.
Tommy laughs - soft, not the harsh one he does on camera. “I think so, yeah.”
Suddenly, Tommy shouts.
And everything goes off the rails.
Ranboo is sobbing again and flailing in Will’s arms, and Tommy’s hopping up and down on one foot, and Tubbo has his hands clamped over his ears and his eyes squeezed shut, and Phil is trying his hardest to get everyone to just calm down, and Will is bouncing Ranboo frantically to try and calm them down, and-
And then Ranboo manages to flail their way completely out of Will’s grasp and flop onto the floor.
There’s a sudden, stunned silence in the kitchen before Ranboo starts wailing again, louder than earlier. Will scoops Ranboo back up, bouncing like before. Other than Ranboo’s wails and Will’s comforting noises, the kitchen is completely silent.
While Will tries to get Ranboo calm, Phil turns to the other two.
“What happened?” he asks.
Tommy’s the one who answers, since Tubbo still has his hands over his ears. “Tubbo stepped on my foot with those boots!”
Tommy points to Tubbo’s boots, which are the chunky 12 cm platform boots that he’s been told time and again not to wear in the house. Phil winces. Those things hurt.
“How did he step on your foot if he was behind you?” Phil asks.
“He was trying to push past me,” Tommy clarifies. “And he stepped on my toes!”
It’s almost comedic, how Tommy’s hopping up and down on his right foot, with his left foot held in both hands as far up as it can come. Phil shakes his head at the boy’s antics, then, upon listening closely and hearing that Ranboo’s wails have died down into sniffles, goes over to Tubbo, tapping one hand gently.
One of Tubbo’s eyes cracks open slightly - just enough that Phil can sign to him.
‘Noise done,’ Phil signs simply. ‘Listen.’
Tubbo hesitantly takes his hands off of his ears, smiling gratefully. “Thanks,” he whispers.
“‘Course,” Phil murmurs. “How old are you?”
Tubbo holds up four fingers - just about in the middle of his headspace range, though Phil has mo doubt he’ll be a bit smaller soon.
“We have to go to the water park,” Tommy says suddenly.
Phil shakes his head with a small, sad smile. “Sorry, Toms. We can’t go out when the two of them are small.”
Tommy crosses his arms and stomps his feet - first left, then right, so his feet “stay even”. Everything needs to stay even when Tommy’s small, otherwise, there’s a breakdown. It’s always the first indication that Tommy is small.
“I want to go to the water park,” Tommy complains, a whine evident in his voice, pulling Phil out of his thoughts. “But Boo and Bee had to go and be stupid and go all small!”
Phil shoots a warning look at Tommy. “Hey, don’t be mean. You know they can’t control when they go small. Just like you can’t.”
Tommy shakes his head, lip stuck in a (frankly adorable) pout. “‘S not fair! I wan’ed to go the wa’er park!”
Phil sees a breakdown coming, so he quickly placates Tommy. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, love. How about, instead of the water park, I fill up you guys’ kiddie pool?”
Tommy hesitates. “Too tall for that,” he claims.
Oh. Right. “What about the sprinkler, then?” Phil tries. “And then we can go to the water park tomorrow.”
“’Kay,” Tommy gives in, a small smile on his face. He loves the sprinkler.
“Is Ran alright?” Phil asks, turning back to Will.
Will smiles. “Yeah, they’re good. A bit tired, though. Can you take the other two out to play in the sprinkler while I get the baby settled down?”
“Course,” Phil agrees, turning around again to face the two toddlers. “Can you change on your own?”
Tommy giggles. “Already water clothes, silly!”
Phil gasps dramatically. “You are already in your water clothes! Dadza is silly, isn’t he?”
“Silly Dadza,” Tubbo agrees, voice still quieter than usual, but getting back to normal.
“Very silly,” Will says from across the room, winking at Phil when he glances over.
“‘Right, let’s go, then,” Phil announces, taking the two toddlers each by the hand and leading them outside into the backyard. He gets the sprinkler set up and leaves Tubbo, the older of the two, in charge, before going back inside to get them their littlegear.
A few minutes later, Phil comes outside again to find the two getting along, not fighting or anything, if very wet (but that was expected). He gives Tubbo his chew necklace and Tommy his paci, the second of which he clips quickly to the boy’s shirt.
“T’anks,” Tommy says before sprinting back towards the sprinkler, now with the paci in his mouth.
“T’anks,” Tubbo echoes, following Tommy quickly with his chew necklace wedged in his mouth.
Phil smiles, shaking his head at the ridiculous toddlers, then pauses. He had quite honestly forgotten to ask how old Tommy is until this very moment, but it seems to be alright. Tommy’s usually two or three, but occasionally, he’ll be four. If Phil had to guess, he’d say Tommy’s around three today.
Phil sits on the patio chair, scrolling on his phone. Before he knows it, Tommy is next to him, tugging on his sleeve.
“Yes, Toms?” he asks with a soft smile.
Tommy gives a lopsided smile back. “Rea’y go insi’,” he whispers around his paci, twisting his hands together.
“Is Bee ready to go inside, too?”
Tommy hesitates, glancing back towards Tubbo, who’s sitting lazily on the ground so the sprinkler hits him occasionally. “Um, dunno.”
“That’s alright,” Phil assures the nervous toddler, then calls, “Bee, love!” Tubbo looks up. “You ready to go inside?”
“No’ ye’,” Tubbo says back, barely audible over the pattering of the sprinkler.
“Alright. I’m going to take Toms inside, okay?”
“‘Kay.”
“Be good. I’ll be back out to check on you in a minute.”
“Be good,” Tubbo echoes in agreement, bobbing his head.
Phil gets Tommy’s soft towel and dries him off as much as possible. Phil takes the toddler by the hand and helps him inside, making sure Tommy doesn’t trip on the small step up from the patio to inside.
Phil leads him down the hall inside to the carefully put together nursery, where Will is currently on the playmat, reading to Ranboo, who’s sitting in Will’s lap in baby clothes (a black onesie, with his soft red tie loosely around their neck, which their fingers are twisted through - Babyboo absolutely adores that tie) with their paci in their mouth and clipped to their onesie.
“Baby,” Tommy whispers in wonder.
Phil laughs softly. “Yeah, Toms. Baby.”
Will glances up briefly, but doesn’t stop talking - probably riffing off of the book, or maybe he just remembers the next few lines. He smiles, looking back down at the pages.
“What clothes do you want?” Phil asks, going over to the dresser.
Tommy considers his section of clothes, finally picking out a white onesie with red sleeves and a red collar, just like his favorite shirt, and soft black shorts.
“You want help changing?”
Tommy nods sheepishly, holding the clothes out to his caregiver. Phil takes them, quickly helping Tommy out of his soaking wet swim clothes, which he slings onto the dresser to deal with later, and into the onesie and shorts.
“Read?” Tommy asks shyly, pointing at Will and Ranboo, who are picking out a new book.
“Yeah, Toms, you can read with Wilby and Boo,” Phil says with a smile.
Tommy squeals happily, going over and carefully sitting down next to Will. Phil watches to make sure Tommy doesn’t get too overexcited, then slips out of the room to get Tubbo.
He finds the toddler sitting on the patio, out of reach of the sprinkler, rubbing his eyes tiredly. As soon as Tubbo sees Phil, he reaches out his arms for him. Tubbo usually goes nonverbal when he’s smaller than four, and today seems to be no exception.
“Oh, a tiny boy,” Phil cooes, scooping Tubbo into his arms. He’s started to work out a lot more than he ever did on his own since he started taking care of the three littles, and even then, he can barely pick up Tommy, and can’t pick up Ranboo.
Tubbo giggles softly, balancing himself on Phil’s hip. Even though he’s only three, he’s always much more cuddly than Tommy at two. Not moreso than Ranboo, currently under a year old - it’s pretty difficult to out-cuddle a clingy baby.
Phil realizes suddenly that he neglected to notice how wet Tubbo is. He laughs at his own ignorance, putting the toddler back down and grabbing the towel set out. Tubbo giggles too, holding his arms out to the sides so Phil can dry him completely.
After Tubbo’s dry, Phil picks him back up, getting him a bit wet again from the wet spot on Phil’s hip he completely forgot about. Oh, well.
“Dadza’s forgetful, isn’t he?” he says absently to Tubbo. Tubbo just giggles, laying his head on Phil’s shoulder and slipping his thumb into his mouth. “Hey, hey, Bee,” Phil says once he notices, tapping Tubbo’s hand lightly. “Fingers are icky. How ‘bout you chew your necklace instead? Yeah, I know you want your paci,” he adds at Tubbo’s soft whine. “I’ll get it for you when we get inside. Just don’t suck your thumb, yeah?”
Tubbo nods reluctantly, sticking his chew necklace into his mouth and hooking his fingers through it.
Phil ruffles his hair. “Thank you, Bee.”
He steps inside, carrying Tubbo to the nursery. The other three are still reading books, though it looks like Ranboo’s dozing off, and Tommy’s not far behind.
“You want to pick out your own clothes?” Phil asks, but Tubbo shakes his head. Phil selects an outfit for him - his fuzzy bee-themed footies - and changes him. Phil gets himself into some dry clothes, then carries the toddler over and sits down next to Will, on the other side of him as Tommy.
Ranboo’s basically asleep at this point, but they wake up enough to weakly grasp at Phil’s pants leg.
“Hi, Boo,” Phil whispers, putting his hand lightly over Ranboo’s. They giggle softly, then turn their attention back to the book Will’s just picked out.
“Axolotls,” Will starts, reading the title page.
Tubbo squeals, and Phil smiles at the boy’s reaction to his favorite book being picked out.
All three littles are out like a light by the end of the book.