Chapter Text
He wanted to kiss her. That of course did not come as a surprise to Thomas, the thought had crossed his mind on more than one occasion in the past. Usually when she said something particularly brilliant and he just stared at her in awe which was a lot more often than he was willing to admit. The fact that the opportunity had presented itself, that she seemed to want it as much as he did, that was the surprise. Fencing had presented a convenient excuse for them to get close and now that they were...he couldn’t stop his gaze from falling to her lips.
“You can’t touch my body with your body,” she declared. And yet she didn’t move away and her gaze was focused on his lips too.
There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea but he couldn't think of any at that moment. They had all been drowned out by the thudding of his heartbeat, the drumbeat of desire coursing through his veins, the shallow pants of her breath a combination of the exertion of their fencing and the sexual tension lying thick between them.
His gaze fell to her lips, a few inches forward and he'd have the answer to the question that had plagued his mind far longer than he would ever admit.
Consequences be damned.
The answer was kissing Juliet felt like a final piece of his soul was sliding into place. There was magic in the hungry press of her lips to his, the way they knew how to instinctively move together. He wasn't aware of dropping the foil but he was aware of the moment his hands settled on her, one around her waist, the other cupping her cheek. He was aware of the flames of desire licking through him, fanned by her passionate response to his kiss, the urgent sounds she made as she pressed closer to him, her bossy side coming out to play as she tunnelled her hands into his hair and positioned him so she was driving the kiss, driving him wild.
The last thing he needed was for his phone to ring, he didn’t even register the sound at first when it did. It only registered when Juliet pulled away, out of breath.
“Thomas, the phone.”
He desperately wanted to kiss her, go in for another taste, forget about the phone and the world because he could already see her pulling away, putting up her defenses and putting on a carefully controlled facial expression. She avoided his gaze as he pulled the phone out of his pocket.
Melvin was definitely not his favourite person right now, Thomas thought as he took the call. He quickly reevaluated when it occurred to him that a case was just the thing they needed right now because without it she would disappear and avoid him for as long as she possibly could. This way there was a chance that they could talk.
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Right.” Because what else could he say, that he had really wanted to and would love to again. That he wanted to be more than just her business partner and friend. Sometimes it felt greedy to want more of her when he already had so much.
“We don't have to talk about it, it was a mistake. Just pretend it never happened.”
Did she really have to keep pointing out how much she regretted kissing him? It couldn’t have been a terrible experience for her, not with the way she had thrown herself into the kiss, how she had been pressed to him like she couldn’t get close enough. But he wouldn’t push, it wasn’t his way.
“I’m just going to go…”
“Actually that was an old friend of mine and he has a job for us. Come on.”
He didn’t give her a choice, or a chance to back away from this case because he wasn’t going to let that kiss epic as it had been, cost him their partnership.
The reasons it was a bad idea to kiss her came flooding back in as they walked to the car to drive to Melvin’s office several minutes later. He looked over at her, her hair blowing in the breeze, her face showing that she was deep in thought and his heart lurched in that exhilarating way it did when he was around her.
1. There was no denying now that he had feelings for her, more than possibly loved her, had definitely thought about having more with her.
2. Now that he had kissed her, knew the way her taste exploded on his tongue, he wanted more. Wanted more of the fierce passion that seemed at odds with her buttoned up nature. He would forever be haunted by her.
3. She had ruined him for all others.
Effectively he was screwed.
*****
He didn't want her.
He had gotten caught up in a moment clearly. It didn't matter that to her love-addled mind that moment had felt like confirmation of how great they'd be together, he thought it was a mistake. If he hadn’t thought of it as a mistake, he would have fought her on it. He argued with her about everything after all. She could point at the sky and say it was blue and he would find a way to argue, probably reveal some long hidden obsession with Raleigh scattering and tell her it only appeared blue.
If he hadn’t argued that meant he was okay with her assessment. But she was not okay with her assessment. She could still feel the imprint of his lips on hers, his tongue moving against hers until she had felt like her knees might buckle. Just as well really that he had put a stop to her ridiculous fantasies, if his kisses were that potent she'd lose the ability to argue with the man. One kiss and she'd give him the world and her heart with it.
Her stomach really had no business twisting itself into knots like it had when he had stuck her with the tip of his foil and smirked, talking about how bendy the foil was. And she had no business thinking about showing him how bendy she could be. There was nothing logical about her and Thomas, she knew all the reasons they wouldn't work. Had gone over them a million times in her head
1. He was stubborn. Like a bloody mule. Or the birman cat she’d had growing up that had pretty much had the run of the house, and had somehow always found ways of doing things the opposite way to how she expected. And she was just as bad. It was a volatile combination.
2. They were different, and could find a way to argue about anything under the sun. His idea of relaxing was watching sports or old action movies, her idea of relaxing was classical music and a good book.
3. Even if they went there, he would get tired of her. He was a hopeless romantic and yet his romantic relationships always failed. She would rather have him as a friend forever than know how it felt to be with him for a while and lose him completely.>
So she had to push her feelings to the back of her mind. She was good at that, it had been a necessary skill when she had needed to get things done when she was still working for MI6. She had often had to push her personal issues to the side, focus instead on her cover.
It turned out it was easier to push her personal issues to the back of her mind when they weren’t on the job with her. He was right there, looking like he did and it made it impossible to forget how she felt about him.
And even working with Lia for some hours was no reprieve. It hadn’t stirred any jealousy, not like her encounters with her when she had been Thomas’ girlfriend, although Juliethad hidden it very, very well. Talking to Lia about him, about how good of a man he was it just reminded why she had fallen for him, made her want to think about all the reasons her and Thomas could work instead of the reasons they wouldn’t.
1. The truth was when he looked at her all the reasons ceased to matter, there was just them. He made her rethink everything, view the world a little differently.
2. When he looked at her, it felt like love. It was confusing because he had never said anything but there were moments when she caught him looking at her and he looked like he would walk through fire for her, and not as a friend. He had already shown her that he would give his life for hers as a friend.
3. The chemistry was good and now that she had kissed him, she knew they would be amazing together, that the dreams she had had did not even begin to match the reality of being in his arms.
“We should talk about this morning.”
She had known it had been a bad idea to come to the guesthouse after the case. He wanted to talk, of course he did. She did not see the point of examining the kiss ad nauseam, not when they were going to reach the conclusion that nothing could come of it. She wanted her memories of that moment untouched, so she could look back and smile as she recalled the perfect abandon she had felt for a fleeting moment.
She picked up her phone and quickly texted Lia. She had turned the woman’s invitation down earlier, drinks with her had not been her first choice when hanging out with Thomas had been an option. But better drinks with Lia than a conversation she really did not want to have.
“We are okay, aren’t we? This hasn’t changed things between us.”
“Of course we are okay but Juliet, that kiss…” His eyes were suddenly intense and her heart raced. She was afraid of what he might say next.
Her phone vibrated with a text from Lia and she picked it up with a relieved smile.
“Uhm, I have to go. I am going out for a drink.”
He looked at her and she didn’t know what to make of the expression on his face but she found herself clarifying. “With Lia. After the day she’s had, she said she could use a drink.”
“After the day she had? My day was not exactly a walk in the park.”
Suddenly her partner was back and the intensity was gone from his eyes. They could be normal about this, this felt like them. They just needed to avoid the elephant in the room.
She fell into the banter, grateful for the spy training that made the lie trip off her tongue easily. Although it was not really a lie, just an omission of the details between Lia inviting her out and her inviting Lia out.
“I know Thomas, but she invited me out for a drink. What was I supposed to do, say no?”
Before she left, she paused, watched him drinking his wine alone and wished she could stay and they could fall into each other’s arms. But it probably wouldn’t happen that way.
So they’d go back to being friends and business partners. It’s what they did best. No point in fantasising about what they had the potential to do even better.