Chapter Text
After Kanan suggested that we should depart on our own since we were a threat to the crew and Tseebo, I was utterly enraged. I mean, why should I risk my life and my safety for Tseebo? What has he ever done for me? He abandoned me when I needed help the most and he let my parents down! He doesn’t deserve my help! After all those years, I owe him nothing!
Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be only his life in danger if we didn’t leave the ship, the crew would be at great risk and I couldn’t let that happen. That’s what I say to myself over and over again when I start questioning Kanan’s decision. He said that the Inquisitor could sense us and I have no doubt that he is correct. I felt it. That’s why Kanan and I are sitting in Phantom ready to detach while being still in hyperspace. How ridiculous is that?! We are in hyperspace, there is no way we are gonna make it out alive. Sometimes, I loathe my newfound compassion and willingness to sacrifice myself for others. For real, what happened to ‘everybody fends for themselves’? Thanks a lot, Ghost crew. I’m blaming you for this one.
Miraculously, we did not die after the detachment in hyperspace. But what followed was, in my humble opinion, even worse. We landed on a planet with my great pals, the most feral creatures in damn space – fyrnocks. I admire Kanan’s confidence in me since he sincerely believes that I am capable of connecting with these beasts. If Jedi training involves making myself an easy meal for fyrnocks, I might as well just quit while I still have all limbs attached to my body. I’m sure somebody else will gladly pick up the burden of saving the galaxy.
“What’s taking you so long?” Kanan’s voice just makes me madder for some reason.
“Well, if you are an expert on these absolute abominations, please be my guest and connect with their murdering minds yourself.” I snarled in response.
Kanan just sighed. “Just let go. Don’t be afraid.” Easier said than done. Those fuckers tried to bite my leg of couple of seconds ago. However, it seems that Kanan isn’t handling them very well either so if I don’t help him soon, we are going to end as dinner.
“I’m not even afraid of them.” And it’s true. It’s not them I fear.
“Then what?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.” I’m sensing a slight panic from my master. We are not going to last much longer. Maybe it’s time to face the truth.
“Ezra, what are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid of…I’m afraid of knowing, I’m afraid of the truth. Sorry. I forgive you, Tseebo” With those word, I let go. I let go of my anger and focus solely on the force surrounding me.
I was so deep in the meditative state that I almost missed the arrival of the Inquisitor. I noticed that Kanan got up, probably exchanged some sarcastic remarks with the Inquisitor and that there is currently a fight going on. What makes me anxious is how close the fight is getting to me. At least I think so, with all the concentration on my connection with fyrnocks, I’m not able to tell very accurately what’s going on.
Suddenly, I’m pulled out of my meditation, both mentally and physically. There is a hand wrapped around my neck keeping me upright and unable to move. I notice too late, that the hand belongs to the Inquisitor. He must have redirected the fight so he could get an easier access to me. This is going splendidly. Exactly how I planned to spend my day. I don’t suppose my sarcasm is going to help me out of this situation.
“Drop your weapon, Jedi.” Why does the Inquisitor always have to spit out the title so it just sounds like poison? “Or your precious padawan is going to get hurt. Quite badly, I’m afraid.”
Just to prove a point, he gets his lightsaber closer to my throat. I gulp. Mark me officially terrified.
“I’m not gonna listen to the likes of you.” I barely hear Kanan’s words. The beating of my own heart is getting increasingly louder. Am I panicking? Oh fuck, I’m definitely panicking. Please, I don’t want to die.
Apparently, Kanan’s reply wasn’t what the Inquisitor was after because as soon as he heard it, he lowered his lightsaber directly on my skin, successfully burning my throat. It was just a light contact, nothing that would leave permanent damage, he did it just to prove a point, but I couldn’t keep myself from screaming. The pain was excruciating.
“Are you sure about that? He screams lovely but I doubt that’s something you would appreciate. After all, Jedi were never able to grasp the beauty of pain.” At this point, I was desperately trashing in the Inquisitor’s grip.
I didn’t need the force to tell me that Kanan is absolutely horrified. His expression speaks for itself. His eyes are wide and solely focused on me. The fear behind them is so intense, it’s going to send me directly into another panic attack. Please, tell me Kanan has a plan. He always has one. I would do anything to just be back on the Ghost with the crew, away from the danger that’s currently holding me hostage. But it looks like Kanan is as lost as me. This time, there won’t be any great escape plan to get us out at the last possible minute. I can feel it.
The Inquisitor is getting impatient judging by the squeeze around my arm tightening even more. I whimper. This gets Kanan’s attention.
“Fine. Fine, I’ll surrender. Just please, don’t hurt him.” Kanan immediately switched off his lightsaber, put it down and knelt with his hands in the air.
“That’s better. Stormtroopers, restrain him.”
“No. Stop it – I… “ I couldn’t finish my sentence as it was interrupted by my agonizing scream as the Inquisitor’s lightsaber once again made contact with my skin.
“No! Don’t hurt him! I surrendered; I did everything you wanted me to. Leave him alone. If you want someone to hurt, hurt me. Please. Leave him be.” Kanan didn’t even hesitate to beg for me. His voice cracked a little but he put on a brave face for me. “You have me. You don’t need him. Just let him go. Please. I’ll do anything.”
“Why would I do that? You see, from the very beginning, the greatest weakness of any Jedi was their dear padawan. For someone who claims to have no attachments, you care for those little brats deeply. It would be almost sickening if they weren’t the perfect tool to get anything I desire from you. So no. I’m not going to let him go. I’m not going to let him be. And if you even so as think of refusing to comply, he is going to be the one that receives the compensation for your missteps.”
With Kanan finally restrained, the Inquisitor started to drag me to the shuttle. His grip was tighter than ever but I managed to take a glance at Kanan. He was escorted approximately 30 metres behind us by no less than six stormtroopers. Not that they were necessary. As long as the Inquisitor had me as leverage, Kanan wouldn’t risk anything. He caught my glance and shook his head confirming my suspicion that he has no idea how to get out of this mess either. So, I let myself be dragged to the imperial shuttle, bracing for the inevitable horrors that are about to come.