Chapter Text
There was something wrong with Tsukasa Tenma.
Some people would say that this was obvious, she was part of the Weirdo Wombo Combo after all. How could someone completely normal run around school yelling and striking poses, with her best friend setting off explosives or testing inventions at every turn?
Though, it wouldn't be fair to say this meant there was something "wrong" with Tsukasa in this regard, it was just who he was. He was a star in the making, destined to shine as bright as the sun, and not everyone can handle that light, even with sunglasses.
It also wouldn't be fair to consider what some other people would say was wrong with her, those who were more closed-minded or less understanding. People who couldn't seem to realize that something being different doesn't make it bad, and that someone being things such as neurodivergent or genderqueer doesn't mean they're doing something wrong, they just have the determination and strength to be incredibly confident in who they are.
No, this was another sense of wrongness, one that even Tsukasa himself may not have been able to realize. It was little things, slight discrepancies in who he was usually and who he was now.
The peculiar way Rui's machines startled him more than usual, to the point of shaking after they did something unexpected. The way his feelings towards his shows seemed to run deeper and stronger than before, both the increasingly heart-pounding excitement he felt before a performance, and the shame and fear he felt after making a mistake during practice nearing bringing tears to his eyes. An odd childishness to his thoughts at times, especially when tired or anxious.
Were these things concerning? Definitely. But were they enough to worry about? Well, they could just be blamed on exam stress, everyone ends up acting a little strange when you have test after test back to back. He probably just wasn't getting enough sleep, he's seen a lot worse things happen to people while exhausted.
Even if these were things to worry about, it's hard to be concerned about something you didn't even know about. The thing with changes inside of one's self is that they're subtle, not being too noticeable until it's almost night and day. Hunger's difficult to realize until your stomach is growling, sadness is easy to neglect until you're on the verge of tears...
And for Tsukasa, she wouldn't be able to notice this little predicament of hers until everything, quite literally, came tumbling down.
-
Tsukasa could admit that today...hadn't been the greatest.
First, he had midterms for both math and English, two subjects he already wasn't the best in. He wasn't able to understand how Rui excelled in both of these areas, maybe he'd be able to get some help from him at some point before finals...
Not only that, but a class representative meeting made him late to rehearsal, and as he was changing into his practice clothes backstage, he couldn't help but feel an odd disconnect between himself and what he saw in the mirror, as if him and the person staring back at him were no longer one and the same.
Why was this? He had his contacts in, so he was sure it wasn't that, there wasn't something weird happening with his hair or anything, he looked like the wonderful star-to-be he always was, and yet...
"Tsukasa, stop staring at yourself in the mirror and get out here already!"
...and now he was keeping his troupemates waiting. Again.
Tsukasa could very easily admit that today hadn't been the greatest. But there was still time to make it one worthy of a future star such as himself! It was all riding on rehearsal now, nothing could ruin putting together incredible shows with his troupe, it was what he was more devoted to than anything after all.
Shaking his head to bring himself back to reality, and striking a quick pose to bring his confidence back up, Tsukasa made his way back to his friends, in order to make this practice another amazing one.
-
The troupe's next show was coming along quite nicely. It had a relatively simple plot: a trio of abandoned toys goes out searching for a kid who would care about them, and they end up coming across a lonely child looking for the same thing. Tsukasa was a bit scared to let Rui take on the role of writing the script for this one, but it ended up being oddly subdued, not nearly as flashy or dramatic.
(Well, except for the toy soldier fight scene, or the part with the pyrotechnics, but the scene where Emu's arm looked like it was ripped off was incredibly impressive, even though it made Tsukasa and Nene panic with how convincing it was.)
Right now, the quartet was rehearsing the scene where Tsukasa's character, a rubber knight too weak to defeat any enemies, and Nene's, a toy robot with no one to wind her up, explore an empty playground, only to find Emu, a teddy bear that's falling apart at the seams, being attacked by bats.
So far, Tsukasa was feeling really proud of his performance so far! Both his vocal and body language were excelling at portraying his role as a determined yet cowardly knight, and he felt his work on the troupe's costumes and props so far was some of his best. If he kept this up, this could be the best show ever!
...Wait, the best ever? She couldn't just going around thinking stuff like that, she still had so much further to grow as an actor before her shows could stand toe to toe with the greats. Since when did her thoughts become so...idealistic? Was that the right word for her to use?
Nevertheless, Tsukasa felt this show was coming along incredibly well, and he couldn't wait to continue this as he rehearsed today. This was a scene he'd looked over several times already, he'd certainly do it justice!
The lights of the Wonder Stage had been turned off, aside from one small spotlight acting as the moon. During their future rehearsals, they'd hopefully have enough props and a background built to convey that this was a playground after dark, but this would have to do for now, they'd only been working on this show for barely a week at this point.
"A playground, I do not believe I have seen one in years..." "Beep-Beep", Nene's robotic character quietly mused as she entered stage left.
"How long were you alone?" Tsukasa replied, with an old-fashioned, somehow more grandiose tone than usual, fitting the rubber knight Stretcho. "But don't you fret, my friend, I'm certain that we shall find ourselves a child to call our own here!"
"It's nighttime though, no kid would be playing here this late-"
"Help!"
Stretcho gasped as he heard a squeaky voice call out, one that clearly belonged to his actor's pink-haired friend, raising his flimsy rubber sword. "Hark! Have you heard that, Miss Beep-Beep?! That may be a child in distress!"
He began to run across the stage, intending to end up coming across Emu's character being swarmed by robot bats. Despite both Stretcho and Beep-Beep's weaknesses, they'd be able to help save her, and invite her to join them on their quest as the scene came to the end.
That was what he intended to do, until his foot was caught on an askew floorboard, sending him falling and skidding across the stage.
...
...
...
There was something wrong with Tsukasa Tenma.
This peculiar...fuzziness had begun to overtake her mind as she fell, one she couldn't really describe. Even if she wanted to, by the time she noticed it, it had begun to act like a fog in her mind, muting and muffling any thought she tried to put together, leaving her only with pure, unfiltered feelings and emotion, a sensation she couldn't remember ever feeling before.
He felt hurt, scared, alone, helpless...
He almost felt, small?
...
...
...
After he had taken his tumble, Emu had immediately rushed over to him.
"Wawawah?! Tsukasa-kun, are you okay?!" she asked in a panic, leaning down over him.
Tsukasa didn't seem to reply, he remained on his hands and knees, as if he were in some kind of a daze.
"...Tsukasa-kun?" Emu had leaned down next to her, talking in a slightly quieter voice as Nene and Rui had also began to make their way over to where she was standing, concern for their troupe leader in their eyes.
Tsukasa remained unmoving, outside of a shaking that seemed to be slowly increasing in intensity.
Nene nervously fidgeted to herself, while Rui looked down at him, an uncharacteristic look of fear on his face. If something happened to him...
"There's definitely something wrong with him, maybe we should take him to first aid or-"
*sob* *hic*
They were interrupted as soft cries began to erupt from Tsukasa. Normally, if she cried, it would be louder sobs that one could almost consider obnoxious, but these were quieter and less intense, very much unlike the bombastic nature the star tended to adopt.
"Ts-Ts-Tsukasa-kun?! What's wrong? Are you hurt?!" Emu gasped, incredibly startled.
"I...I-I wan' go home..." Tsukasa eventually spat out, as he buried his face in his hands between sobs. His voice seemed slightly higher pitched as he cried, and his stumbling over his words seemed almost juvenile.
"D-Did he hit his head or something to make him act so different?" Nene stuttered, her jab greatly undermined by the genuine concern in her voice as her troupe leader whimpered slightly at her feet.
Rui nervously looked down at Tsukasa's sobbing form, before eventually adopting a somewhat softer, yet serious expression and kneeling down next to him.
"Hey, Tsukasa-kun? Could you look at me for a moment?"
The aforementioned boy, despite his crying and shaking, eventually looked up at Rui with an uneasy gaze. His cheeks were streaked with tears as new ones continued to fall as he sniffled, his eyes wide with a genuine fear one would rarely see from the star. He was always so bombastically proud and brave, what could cause him to sink so low like this?
"Alright, can I help you up? I'm sure it's not that comfortable laying there on the floor." Rui gave Tsukasa a small smile as they held their hand out to him.
Shakily, still softly crying, the blonde-haired actor took Rui's hand, and used her other hand to slowly lift herself off of the stage's floor.
Tsukasa had almost hesitated to remove his hand from Rui's once he had gotten up, ending up looking as if he was curling into himself, his hands in fists on his chest and his head tucked down, staring down at his feet as tears still fell from his eyes.
Rui gave a quick look over him, trying to figure out if anything was causing his behavior. He didn't necessarily look sick or anything, but...
"Oh-oh-oh! Tsukasa-kun's bleeding!"
The boy in question had flinched with a whimper at Emu's quick shout, but she was right. A small piece of his pant leg looked to have been ripped off, with a decently sized scratch along his skin where it has been torn.
"Ah, a scraped knee? Nothing we can't patch up." Rui gave another soft smile to Tsukasa, taking her hand again. "Come, sit down, we'll fix you up good as new."
Tsukasa sniffled slightly, and gave a small nod to the taller boy, clinging onto their hand again for dear life as he was led off of the stage and onto one of the audience's seats.
Nene couldn't help but watch this incident unfold with confusion. Tsukasa had literally gotten knocked unconscious during a rehearsal before without much of a reaction, yet a scraped knee sent him sobbing? And Rui was being so caring to him, with their tone of voice reminding her of how they acted when the troupe had found that lost girl at Riley Dream Park...
"Do you think Tsukasa-kun's gonna be okay?" Emu mused to her green-haired friend.
"When is he ever okay?..." Nene's usual jab was cut short with a sigh. "I hope so, seeing him like this is weird..."
"I know! Usually he's all like 'Ha ha ha!' but now he's all like 'Waaaa!' I just want him to feel all happy and wonderhoy again!"
Nene blinked at Emu's odd explanation, but then nodded. "Me too, Emu..."
"Hey, Nene? Could you grab me a first aid kit from the back?" Rui eventually asked, looking up at the two from him and Tsukasa's space in front of the stage. Tsukasa had pretty much stopped crying, aside from a few stray sniffles or hiccups.
As Nene disappeared backstage, Emu thought for a moment about what she could do to help, before looking as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head before doing the same.
Throughout all of this, Tsukasa himself had remained relatively silent, clinging to Rui's sleeve and shaking like a leaf. He just felt...so scared, he just wanted to curl up in a ball somewhere...
"Tsukasa-kunnn!!"
He jumped as Emu called his name, leaping off of the stage and running up to him, burying his face into Rui's arm with a whimper.
By the time he felt brave enough to open one of his eyes, he saw Emu looking down at him with a smile, water bottle in hand.
"...Whenever Honami-chan is feeling anxious, they tell her to drink water and stuff, so I figured it would help you!" He heard Emu cheerfully explained, handing Tsukasa the bottle. "If there's anything else you need, let me know! I..."
Tsukasa hadn't entirely been paying attention to Emu's rambling, not like she had the energy to try to comprehend it anyways. With shaky hands, she tried his best to open the bottle, her eyes lighting up when she finally got the cap off.
"I did it..."
Emu tilted her head at his mumble, and Rui looked down at him for a moment, but he didn't care. He got it open, all by himself! His foggy anxiety had been accompanied by a slight sense of pride, smiling lightly as he started to drink.
Nene eventually returned with the first aid kit, and Rui started to treat Tsukasa's wound, her and Emu sitting beside the two.
Taking a small wipe to his knee, the blonde boy whimpered.
"Stings?" Rui asked in a quiet voice, to which Tsukasa replied with a small nod. "I know, but it'll help you feel better."
Tsukasa silently stared at the purple-haired boy as they cleaned his wound, still shaking slightly, until Rui put a small bandage on his cut.
"There we go, you'll be good as new soon enough," Rui said with a smile, preparing to leave his seat, only to be stopped by Tsukasa's arms wrapping around him.
"Tank you..."
Rui couldn't help but smile at this odd display of affection. It was definitely out of character for the future star, and it was surely a sign that something was up with him right now, but it still felt incredibly nice.
"No problem, Tsukasa-kun."
"Are you feeling any better?" Emu asked the shorter boy.
Tsukasa gave a nod and a small mumble. "Sleepy..."
"Of course you'd be tired, all that crying..." Nene muttered to herself.
"Maybe you should head home, Tsukasa-kun, it's clear that you're in no shape to practice..." Rui mused.
The actor in question had remained silent, head still buried into Rui's back after the hug. It had been a rough hour or so, and if she stayed like this...she could just...fall...asleep...
...
...
...
Like a curtain raising before a big show began, the fuzzy feeling in Tsukasa's mind began to dissipate.
...
...
"...H-huh?"
Nene was the first to notice Tsukasa's change in demeanor. His voice was no longer higher-pitched or mumbly, and the wide-eyed look he had before was replaced with one akin to to his usual appearance, albeit quite exhausted.
"Tsukasa?..."
"What...was that?..." he muttered, pulling away from Rui.
"Tsukasa-kun! You're back to normal!" Emu smiled, with a slight tinge of worry still tainting her voice.
"Like he was ever normal in the first place..." Nene sighed. "But seriously, are you feeling alright again?"
"I, I think so, I just..." Tsukasa ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. "I don't know what that was. It was like I couldn't think, or speak, or anything really..."
"I'm glad you're feeling better, we couldn't have anything happen to our dear troupe leader now, could we?" Rui mused, smile of relief on their face.
"Ah, yes, a star such as myself shouldn't be brought down by such trivial things!" Tsukasa's typical confident nature seemed to return for a few moments, before his expression returned to one of concern and embarrassment. "Which is why I shouldn't have gotten like this over a little scrape. What am I, a child?"
"I highly doubt that it was just that, Tsukasa-kun," Rui replied, somewhat more seriously than before. "You're right, you shouldn't have been reduced to sobs over a scraped knee, which makes me think there's probably something else going on."
"Yeah! You could be sick or something!" Emu added.
"Perhaps, but that's besides the point!" Tsukasa suddenly stood up, striking one of his signature poses, though it seemed a bit less impactful due to his lingering exhaustion and anxiety. "Shall we resume rehearsal? I did not mean for that little...incident...to interrupt everything!
"Do you really think we're gonna let you practice today after all of that?" Nene immediately spat.
"What?!"
"She's right, you're clearly exhausted, and you might be ill," Rui explained. "It would simply be cruel for us to let you continue to rehearse today, no?"
"Yeah Tsukasa-kun, we can't let you get hurt or anything again!" Emu nodded.
"Gh..." Tsukasa disliked the mention of the earlier events of the day, but he relented and nodded. "I guess that you're right, I shall go home and rest, so that this star can shine his brightest tomorrow!"
"Thank you Tsukasa-kun!" Emu happily hopped in place. "Should one of us walk home with you, in case you feel all yucky-wucky again?"
"No need! You all continue preparing for our next show, I shall be just fine!" Tsukasa confidently exclaimed, preparing to get ready to leave.
If she was being honest, she almost felt like she couldn't look her troupemates in the eye after all of this. They had seen such a humiliating display, from their troupe leader no less!
As she changed, packed her things, and started to make her way towards Phoenix Wonderland's exit, she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. She didn't feel sick or anything, she hadn't felt overly sad or tired before this had happened, how did just a little fall send her sobbing? Was there something wrong with her? What if it happened again, God forbid during a show? How would she become a future star if she was so easily pushed into a horrible display like the one from today?
He somewhat understood his previous desire to simply curl up into a ball now, though instead of being from fear, it was now out of embarrassment.
With a sigh, she exited the gate of Phoenix Wonderland, almost terrified to show her face there again.