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Tomoya fixed up the last of the wigs and closed the club room. Luckily, cleaning up hadn't taken too long and it wasn't raining yet.
Ah.
Rain, yes. Where was his umbrella again? Had he forgotten it in their classroom? He sighed and started to climb up the stairs again.
Walking down the empty corridor, he overheard some familiar voices talking. Was someone still around? He was pretty sure one of them was… Hajime?
Tomoya had just gotten close enough to the classroom to catch a glimpse of blue hair, when he heard the other voice.
“I have… l-liked you for a while now!” Midori exclaimed.
Tomoya immediately hid behind the wall.
A love confession?!
Well. It wasn't that weird. Hajime was the cutest being in the entire galaxy. Of course he would get confessed to. He should receive hundreds of confessions, actually. It's great that more people realize how amazing he is.
But something about it was bugging Tomoya.
Had they ever talked about girls or crushes? Did Hajime like anyone? A vague memory of the previous Halloween crossed Tomoya's mind, but he brushed it off.
Neither of them had ever gotten into a relationship either. That was normal for boys their age, right? Get a girlfriend, fool around… Maybe it was weird that Tomoya had never considered this would happen.
Hajime getting into a relationship. Doing things like going on dates or going back home together.
… That would mean he wouldn't walk with Tomoya anymore.
Tomoya turned around, walked away from that corridor and then left the school.
He suddenly felt protective. Hajime was very sensitive. He was kind to a fault and still struggled with saying no to things. What if his feelings were hurt? It wasn't like Midori was a bad guy, but did he really deserve Hajime?
Midori, right. A guy. He was tall, much taller than Tomoya, and very good-looking. He had been getting lots of model jobs, hadn't he? But Tomoya had landed some pretty good roles lately, he wasn't too far behind him. And Midori hadn't even known Hajime for that long! Not anywhere near as long as Tomoya had! Did he know that Hajime got dizzy when seeing large amounts of money? Did he know about the time when he cried over the death of a firefly? Did he know about that one time in the middle school marathon when… Tomoya and Hajime had been together for years! Tomoya always stood up for him, always held his hand!
Certainly, if Hajime was going to date anyone, it should be…
Tomoya stopped walking. A drop of water fell on his head.
Takamine sat down on a chair and let his forehead thump against the table.
“This isn't going to work.”
“Don't give up so fast, Takamine-kun!” Hajime tried to encourage him. “You want to convey your feelings to Fushimi-senpai, don't you?”
Takamine raised his head a bit and met Hajime's eyes with a defeated pout.
“If a direct confession isn't working…Maybe you could try a different approach?” Hajime suggested. “Like… a love letter?”
Takamine sat up with a thoughtful look on his face. As he considered it, his face began to light up again.
“That… could actually work.” His eyes were sparkling. “Thank you so much Shino-kun!” He lunged forward to grab Hajime's hands.
“It's nothing, really!” Hajime took a step back to maintain his balance and stumbled with something familiar.
“Oh! This is Tomoya-kun's umbrella! It's not raining yet but he might need it…” Hajime picked it up from the floor, then turned back towards Takamine. “I'm going to see if I can catch him. I think he had cleaning duty so I might still have time. Good luck with your letter!” he said with a smile before leaving.
“Good luck to you too, see you!”
Tomoya stood under a small roof as it rained.
What was he thinking about?
Sure, it was normal to be worried about your childhood best friend dating someone, right? He wasn't jealous. It was an uncomfortable feeling, a knot in his throat.
Hajime… was really cute. Tomoya knew that. He had always known, from the very first second. Hajime was the cutest being in the entire galaxy. His pale blue hair, his soft lavender eyes. His sweet smiles, his gentle faces. Tomoya had always been just a little bit charmed. And Hajime had only gotten cuter ever since he became an idol. It wasn't just because he now had nicer products for his hair or the fancy frilly clothes, but instead the fact that… Hajime seemed so much more happy now. He was working hard and had a goal in mind, and Tomoya was so happy for him.
And he wanted to be beside Hajime, and help him reach it, and celebrate with him when they achieved it.
Tomoya loved being by Hajime's side and wanted to hold his hand and maybe… maybe Tomoya did like Hajime. A lot. Hajime made him happy.
In front of him, the rain stopped falling for a bit. Tomoya looked up and saw lavender.
“Hajime?”
“Tomoya-kun! I'm so glad I found you!” Hajime giggled. The faint rainy sunlight gave him a halo of sorts. “You forgot your umbrella in class.”
Tomoya felt like he could cry.
Hajime offered him the umbrella and Tomoya thought of grabbing Hajime's hand instead. He didn't.
“Thank you, Hajime,” he said instead, opening the umbrella. “I was wondering where did I left it.”
Hajime hummed happily and they set off together.
“Did anything exciting happen to you today?” Hajime asked him.
Tomoya looked at him. A face he had always found gorgeous now seemed overwhelmingly so. He was more aware than ever of the distance between them (it was short). His voice sounded even more sweet and all Tomoya wanted was to be even closer to him. He felt like his entire worldview had been completely reshaped and altered.
But nothing had actually happened.
“Not much. And you?” Tomoya returned the question casually enough, but he still tensed up a bit. Did the confession count as something exciting?
Hajime took a moment to answer. He had never been the kind to lie but…
“Not really!” he said with a smile. “I talked with Midori about our upcoming Gardenia meeting for a bit. Apparently Niki's Kitchen wants to cook something for us! Since we give them some of our vegetables, they wanted to thank us.” Hajime giggled, then added: “Maybe you could come along too, Tomoya-kun.”
Tomoya swallowed and smiled back.
“I'll think about it. We're going to begin preparations for our next play at Dramatica soon too.”
“Oh, so that's the script Hasumi-senpai has been working on!”
They easily fell into a comfortable conversation, but there was still a knot in Tomoya's stomach.
Realizing you're in love with your childhood best friend was taking a greater toll on him than he imagined.
It felt like torture.
Tomoya had barely slept a wink and he couldn't concentrate in class either. His brain had helpfully been providing him with a cringe compilation of every stupid thing he had said over the past years and it was a bit too much to handle all at once.
But what still bothered him the most was the Midori situation. When had he gotten so close to Hajime? Was it during their circle meetings? Tomoya guessed Gardenia must meet up fairly often, because the gardens look wonderful and plants rarely take care of themselves. Midori shared a room with some other friends of Hajime too so they must have come across each other during their free time too… Meanwhile Tomoya had been quite busy lately and he hadn't seen Hajime as much. Had he really fallen that far behind? Was he no good? He needed to catch up somehow.
It was hard to navigate through this jealousy.
When lunch break finally arrived, he immediately got up, in hopes of having lunch alone at some secluded bench in the garden and see if he could order his thoughts, but apparently he couldn't even have that.
“Hey, Toooomo-kun!” Hinata plopped onto the seat next to him, interrupting his thoughts. “Looking gloomy! I saw you boring holes into Hajime's head aaall day,” he commented, mouth full of some store-bought cream bun. “Trouble in paradise?”
Tomoya groaned and Hinata elbowed him playfully.
“Come on, tell me, what happened?” he pressed jokingly. “The day you two have a fallout is the day love ends.”
“We didn't fight or anything at all.” Tomoya dismissed him and took a bite out of his lunch, rather aggressively.
But he did have a question for Hinata.
“...How often do you guys hold Gardenia meetings?”
“O-ho!” Hinata laughed. “What could have possibly prompted this?” he asked, crossing his legs and leaning forward, clearly too interested.
“None of your business.” Tomoya shut him out.
“Actually, I'm in charge of collecting complaints! If you have a problem with one of our circle members it's me who you should tell!” he winked and Tomoya did not believe him one bit.
“Is that so?” he asked flatly and raised an eyebrow.
“Nope!” Hinata chuckled.
Tomoya sighed.
“But I can tell something is bothering you,” Hinata added in a more serious tone. “I may not be able to fix your complaints but I can at least hear you out.” He punctuated the sentence with a salute.
Tomoya looked down at his half-eaten lunchbox. Store-bought as well. Hajime made good lunch boxes.
“... Shouldn't childhood friends always be together?” he asked, though it was mostly directed at himself.
A year ago, Hinata would have effusively agreed with him. Today, he shook his head gently.
“Not really. It's not like you have much of a choice in company as a kid. But when you get older, you meet more people and gain the freedom to choose who you'll spend your time with.”
Tomoya mentally went through his list of Hajime's friends. He got along with some formidable people but… He wanted to be with Hajime. And he wanted Hajime to want to be with him. Not just because he was the only kid around who was nice to him, but because, after finding many people who loved him, he still liked Tomoya. It felt somewhat selfish but…
“I want Hajime to choose me,” he declared, and it was the most confident he'd felt in a while.
He wanted to be chosen over the Cosmic Production Deputy Director Ibara Saegusa, over the conglomerate heir Eichi Tenshouin and over Midori Takamine.
They were fairly intimidating… rivals? But he wouldn't get anywhere if he didn't aim high. Hajime was everything to him. Tomoya wouldn't be where he was if not for him. And he was confident that he was the closest to Hajime too.
… Or maybe not anymore.
“But Hajime doesn't like me like that,” Tomoya added, a bit sadly.
Hinata choked on his drink. Loudly. Enough that Tomoya wasn't sure if he was just putting on an overdramatic show or actually dying.
“Hinata-kun? Are you okay?” he patted Hinata's back, concerned.
“I'm sorry, you think what?” Hinata mustered, still teary-eyed. Clearly holding back laughter. Tomoya's concern left him.
“Why am I even talking to you about this.”
“Nooooo, I'm sorry, Tomo-kun, I didn't mean to!” Hinata dramatically draped himself over Tomoya. “I'm actually really, really happy for you!” Hinata smiled brightly and Tomoya found that he couldn't stay mad at him for long. “So let's go get that boy!”
But before Tomoya could explain the situation, the bell rang.
He pushed Hinata away and got up, sweeping away some breadcrumbs with his hand. The embarrassment was catching up to him.
“W-well. Time to go to class. Let's leave it there for now.” He tried to walk away but Hinata grabbed his wrist.
“No, no, no, you're not getting away from me that easily, mister! I want to see this through to the end! Meet me for karaoke after school?” he asked, batting his eyelashes, and Tomoya knew he didn't actually have much of a choice.
“Okay…” he answered begrudgingly.
“Great! It's a date then!” Hinata grinned and then hurried away.
Tomoya smiled fondly. For all the trouble Hinata may bring sometimes, he was glad to have a friend he could trust with this.
He felt more relaxed after letting that out, and he could finally concentrate in class again for the following hours. When classes were over, Hajime approached his desk.
“Tomoya-kun.” He seemed worried. “Is everything alright? I didn't see you at lunch.”
“Oh! It was nothing, I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed some fresh air. ” It wasn't really a lie. “But I'm feeling better now!” He smiled, reassuring.
Hajime smiled back.
“I'm glad!”
But before Tomoya could say anything else, someone jumped on him for the second time that day. The same someone, in fact.
“Tomo-kun! We have plans!” Hinata interlocked their arms and began dragging him away. “Sorry, Hajime-kun, I'm stealing him from you for a while! I'll get him back to you in one piece, I promise.” Hinata saluted and then winked at him. “Let's get going!”
“O-oh! See you later then…”
Tomoya didn't quite catch it but Hajime seemed a bit sad as he was taken away.
“Huh!?” Hinata yelled and Tomoya was glad that karaoke rooms were sound-proof. “So the problem is Midori-kun!?”
He seemed genuinely caught off-guard.
“Y-yes… I'm sure I heard him confess.”
“But you didn't hear Hajime's response.” Hinata repeated, assessing the situation. Tomoya nodded along. “And he didn't tell you anything about it even though he's not the kind to lie…”
That was what troubled Tomoya the most. For a very long time, he had been Hajime's only confidant, and now… Hajime felt more out of reach than ever.
Maybe this was the reason why Hinata was so insistent on helping him. Did his separation from Yuuta feel any similar to this?
Tomoya shook his head. He was being stupid. Nothing had actually happened. Definitely nothing like what the Aois were going through. For all Hajime knew, Tomoya had just randomly been avoiding him for no reason. He needed to get it together.
“I'm overreacting.” He stood up. “I should just ask him about it. It's not like I'm being entirely sincere either.”
Hinata clapped lightly.
“O-ho! You reached a conclusion really fast! I'm impressed! But we just got here, maybe wait a bit before confessing so we can make the best of our money?”
“Confessing?!”
Tomoya sat down again and rested his chin on his hands with a serious expression.
“Confessing…” he repeated. “Being in love is so much trouble.”
Hinata laughed.
“You know, after two years of you two dancing around each other, seeing you say that is sooo refreshing! I was beginning to think you'd never figure it out!”
Tomoya felt blood run to his face.
“Are we really…” Something clicked. “Wait, do you think Hajime likes me back?”
“Tooomo-kun. Has it never crossed your mind that Hajime does all the romantic things he does, even though you're both boys, on purpose?” Hinata shook his head, disappointed, and Tomoya wasn't sure if he was being mocked or pitied. “You're even denser than Tetsu-kun!”
He couldn't even argue against that. Someone else might say that Hajime is kind of like that with everyone, but Tomoya knows that he does still get special treatment, even if not one people might expect.
When it comes to Tomoya, Hajime is less careful. More pushy, watches less his words and strength. While at times it might become a bit too much, it means Hajime trusts him and Tomoya is so thankful for that trust.
“I guess you're right.” He sighed.
“But, Tomo-kun, let's think about this logically. If Hajime had accepted Midori's confession, why did he walk home with you?” Hinata asked.
“... He wanted to return my umbrella.” Tomoya was not very sure.
“I pity Midori-kun if his newly acquired boyfriend immediately left him for another boy.”
Alright. Hinata had a point.
“Then… You think I have a chance?”
“If you think your chances are low, then mine must be near zero!”
An hour later, Tomoya found himself in front of Hajime's door. He hesitated before knocking. What if Hajime wasn't in his room? What if Hasumi-senpai opened the door? What if Hokuto-senpai opened?
No. Tomoya had already made up his mind, he shouldn't back down now. He breathed in and knocked on the door.
He was greeted by a fresh lavender scent.
There it was. Hajime's personal magic. It was an impressive thing, truly. Because all the stressing, worrying and overthinking that Tomoya had done over the past 24 hours, all the accumulated anxiety vanished when he saw Hajime again. Hajime's soft hair, Hajime's big lavender eyes, Hajime, Hajime, Hajime. Tomoya's shoulders finally relaxed and he smiled.
“Hajime.”
“Tomoya-kun?” Hajime blinked, then smiled. “What brings you here?”
“Can we talk for a second? There's something I'd like to tell you.” Tomoya bowed his head slightly.
“Oh! Of course,” he agreed easily despite Tomoya's serious air.
“Is it okay if we talk in my room?”
“Sure!” Hajime nodded.
Tomoya led the way to his dorm and hoped Ayase wouldn't mind. He was always quick to vanish. By his side, Hajime was silent. Their hands brushed as they walked.
“I also wanted to apologize for leaving like that earlier.” Tomoya broke the silence. It was something that had been bugging him.
“Don't worry about it! I know you're busy.” Hajime tried to brush it off, but Tomoya could tell it had bothered him at the time.
“No, it was way too harsh.” Tomoya shook his head. “I'm sorry, Hajime.”
Hajime fell silent again. He seemed nervous and Tomoya thought about holding his hand. But he was just a bit too late: they had reached his dorm room already. Tomoya thought he heard something before opening the door, but the room was empty.
“Come in,” he offered, a bit sheepish. “It's a bit messy but…”
Hajime chuckled lightly.
“It's okay, Tomoya-kun.”
He was, of course, right. After so long, Hajime had pretty much seen it all.
They took a seat at the couch and Tomoya mentally went through everything he wanted to say again.
“What did you want to tell me, Tomoya-kun?” Hajime tilted his head a bit.
Tomoya breathed in and looked into Hajime's eyes. The lavender sea encouraged him.
“You see… I actually overheard you talking with Midori yesterday after school,” he admitted. “I don't know what you answered him or if it's too late for me to be saying this, but I had to tell you. I… Hajime, I like you. I've liked you for so much longer than I realize.”
Tomoya had lost some of his shyness after everything that he had gone through at the theater club but there were still some things that he was embarrassed about. Even after playing the heroine for so long, he felt like a lost duckling when it came to his own love life.
It was a situation straight out of his sister's shoujo manga, he guessed, falling in love with your childhood friend. Maybe it was a too normal and plain confession, a cliché, but that was what he was like.
He bowed his head.
“I'd be happy if you could have me!”
He heard a sob.
He looked up to find Hajime crying. A lot.
“Hajime?” he asked, worried.
He leaned forward to put a hand on his shoulder, but Hajime hugged him instead.
“Tomoya-kun…!” he mumbles between tears and Tomoya's heart was racing.
He carefully hugged Hajime back. They had done this thousands of times but Tomoya now felt extremely aware.
“I-is everything okay…?” He wasn't entirely sure if this was a rejection or not. It was not an expected reaction at all.
Hajime drew back just enough to meet Tomoya's eyes, but without letting go, clinging to his shirt. He was still teary-eyed but Tomoya thought he was cute no matter what.
“I…! I like you too! I've always liked you, ever since… ever since…” He was getting choked up again and his grip tightened. “I didn't think…”
Tomoya cupped Hajime's face and slowly wiped his tears with his thumb.
“Hajime… Don't cry…”
Hajime looked up at him, lips slightly parted. A thought crossed Tomoya’s mind. He leaned forward.
“Can I…?”
Hajime put his arms around Tomoya’s neck again and kissed him.
“But then… did you reject Midori?”
"Takamine-kun?”
“Yesterday afternoon, after I finished cleaning… I actually went back to class to see if I could get my umbrella, but I overheard you two talking. I thought Midori had confessed to you and left.”
“Oh!” Hajime giggled. “I was helping him practice his confession to Fushimi-senpai! I wasn't sure if I could tell you, but Takamine-kun should be delivering his letter now…”
“Ah…”
Maybe Tomoya should apologize to Midori for the underserved animosity. Nothing had actually happened but…
Or maybe he could thank him instead. He had a lot to be thankful for, he thought, and kissed Hajime again.