Chapter Text
He wasn’t able to get into the same university as Kei and that was possibly his first mistake.
They sat next to each other during lunch on the rooftop, neither one of them saying a single word. Tadashi kept looking at his lunch, but his appetite had suddenly disappeared. There were so many things going through his mind and he didn’t think he could keep the news to himself for much longer. He just didn’t know how to tell his best friend that he had failed the examination and that they wouldn’t be able to attend the same school. He had tried countless of times, but found himself unable to.
It was a difficult thing to mention especially after they had made so many plans together. While they ended up choosing the same university by accident, Yamaguchi quickly warmed up to the idea of going to the same school as Kei. They had been together for so long that it almost seemed natural for him to try and follow. They had already agreed to rent out an apartment together once they were settled in. In fact, he had already gone ahead and started looking for part time jobs around the area as well. If everything worked out well, then they could even make some time for volleyball.
Their chosen university wasn’t specifically known for it’s athletics or volleyball team for that matter. Still, it was distinguished for its academics and known to be a terribly difficult school to be considered in with a rather low acceptance rate. He had read somewhere in an internet article that it was without a doubt one of the top universities in Japan. That alone scared him, but he was confident in his own intelligence. He thought he could get accepted in if he studied and worked hard.
Of course, sheer effort is never enough which was something he was quite aware off. He and Kei had taken the entrance exam at the same time, but their stress were always set at different levels. The material was complicated for him to understand and he had more trouble solving math problems than his best friend. They helped one another consistently, but the information didn’t seem to process as well for him.
During that entire time, Tadashi remained hopeful. However, when the results were released, the small chance he had was instantly crushed. He decided to keep it a secret. Even though Kei kept asking him about it, he would purposely evade his questions each time.
Tadashi set his lunch to the side and turned to face Kei after much internal debate. He could feel the palms of his hands starting to sweat uncontrollably. He quietly cleared his throat and took a deep breath.
“Tsukki, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he began, lowering his head slightly when he caught his best friend’s attention. “I should have told you sooner, but I just couldn’t get myself to.”
He was silently shaking with his eyes already filling up with tears. He wanted to be strong, but he couldn’t avoid the sadness that was slowly starting to consume him. His chest ached at the sight of Kei’s sullen eyes. Even without telling him, he probably already knew. Tadashi bit his lip, trying to calm himself down and to drown away the sobs that kept threatening to emerge.
“I wasn’t accepted. We’re not going to attend the same university after all.” He clutched his fists at the sound of his words. There was so much regret and he didn’t know how to get rid of it.
“I kind of already suspected. That’s why you weren’t saying anything about it before, right?” Kei told him, but he wasn’t looking at him anymore. He had stopped eating, placing his lunch over his lap before he looked up at the cloudy sky. He momentarily closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall behind them. “If you would have been accepted, you would have come running to me to tell me. No, you probably would have called me that very moment. You wouldn’t have hesitated like they way you’ve been now. It was obvious.”
Tadashi tried to smile, but it just wouldn’t come and he felt much worse than before. “Yeah, you’re right. I would have told you that very instance, but I guess there’s nothing that can be done about it now. It’s already too late. I should have studied harder, maybe worked a little harder too.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself since it’s not your fault really.” Kei was trying to encourage him. He could easily tell, but at the same time, there was something off about the tone of his voice. “There was a lot responsibility placed upon you especially since you were made captain of the team. It was a lot to handle, but you tried your best anyways, right? There should be no regrets.”
“I know, but I still wanted to go to the same university as you. I wanted to continue playing volleyball with you. I didn’t think this would happen.” Tadashi couldn’t keep his feelings bottled up anymore. Everything hurt so much and even a few tears managed to escape from his eyes. Pretty soon, he was crying nonstop. “I’m g-going to miss you so m-much.”
"We'll still keep in touch and it's not like we're never going to see each other again, so stop crying already." Kei started to sound annoyed, but that didn't stop him from wiping his sobbing face with a handkerchief. He kept doing it until he calmed down a bit. "What university are you planning to go to, then? What was your second choice?"
"JO University. It's pretty far away from the one you're going to." Tadashi tried to push Kei's hand away from his face, but he wasn't letting him. Then, he eventually stopped and dropped the napkin on the ground. He placed his bare hands over his cheeks with his thumbs just barely underneath his teary eyes. Tadashi sat motionless, not knowing what to do from Kei’s sudden and unexpected actions. He wasn’t scolding him anymore for crying, but it almost seemed like he wanted to cry himself. Of course, Tadashi felt slightly responsible for everything.
“I haven’t told you this yet either because I was afraid you might persuade me to go to JO instead, but I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore.” Tadashi paused, feeling a bright blush coming on as Kei continued to stare straight into his eyes. It almost seemed like he was sucking the truth right out him with a simple and intense gaze. "I was recently offered a scholarship to play volleyball there and I'm starting consider it. I wasn’t accepted to my first choice of school, so I guess going to JO is the next best option."
"You got a scholarship and yet, you we're planning to leave it to go to the same university as me?" Kei sounded furious and that was the exact reason why he didn't bother to tell him before. He had decided to go to the same school as his best friend since the beginning and it was only now that he was being offered to attend with the condition of playing.
He figured that some university scouts had been present during their last match and they were probably impressed with his killer serves or something. After all, his real and most powerful weapon were probably just his serves. Each time he was able to get more than a few points by mixing a variety serves. As a first year, he was only able to utilize his jump float serve, but now, because of all his acquired experience he had more than a few tactics up his sleeve. While he would never admit it himself, he was quite a threat from that perspective. He could see why maybe some universities would be interested in him. It was a skill only a few could posses.
Still, that wasn’t the only thing that his opponents were cautious about. It was repeated to him more than a million times that his serves weren’t the only thing that made him strong. As a captain, he was feared for his leadership, for his ability to keep the team together, and for his dedicated integrity. Besides all that, he had also gotten pretty good at blocking.
Kei pinched his cheeks, but it wasn’t hard enough for him to yell over. Instead, he let him just in the same way as he did when they were kids. Back then, whenever he let himself get bullied or whenever he did something wrong, Kei would always pinch his cheeks in the same manner. It was amazing how things had remained the same between them even though so many years had gone by. Now, though, they were finally going to separate.
“Who would refuse an offer like that? I can’t believe what an idiot you are. You know, I’m glad my university rejected you. You would have wasted a good opportunity.”
“Tsukki, that’s mean!” He responded, trying to push his hands away one more time. Kei snickered and continued to bother him. Tadashi was done crying by that point. He felt much better and it was thanks to his best friend. “I was really looking forward to going to the same university as you! We had already made so many plans and stuff, but it never occurred to me that things would turn out this way. Honestly, I should have expected it. I mean, Hinata and Kageyama ended up choosing the same school as well. Wait, I think they were both scouted there?”
“Those guys are idiots too.” Kei let go of his face and turned his focus back on his already cold lunch. He looked at it helplessly before he casually closed the lid instead. “Still, it makes sense that they were both scouted to the same school. They work better that way. Then, I don’t think there’s another soul on the planet that could put up with either of them.”
Tadashi nodded in agreement as he looked up at the cloudy sky, remembering when he first saw Hinata jump. It almost seemed like he could fly, but then again, it was Kageyama that brought out his true potential. They had both improved so much over the last three years and Tadashi was grateful for having them in the team. Everyone was essential, but they wouldn’t have made it as far as they did without them. Even so, the bond they had established was beyond that of regular teammates. He wondered how long it was going to take them to realize it.
“I guess you’re right. They’re really something else and their quicks are still so incredible to watch.” Tadashi sighed as he leaned back against his hands. He let the breeze hit his face, cooling his cheeks were Kei had been pinching him earlier before. “You know, it wouldn’t surprise me if they started dating.”
While he firmly believed it, Tadashi had only mentioned such a topic to Kei as a joke and thought he would just laugh it off. He was never quite expecting a series of questions regarding the matter. “Really? What makes you say that? Have they told you they wanted to date each other or what?”
“Umm, no? It just seems that way to me.” Tadashi fidgeted with his fingers, not knowing what kind of answers Kei was hoping to get from him. “They’re just so close and I really can’t see them without the other, you know? It’s unimaginable. Aside from the fact that they’re really good friends, I get the feeling that they really understand each other. It almost feels like they can read each other’s mind without even saying anything. Because of all that, I guess I could see them going out and stuff.”
“Then, wouldn’t you say that we’re in the same position?”
“What?”
“Nevermind. Forget it.”
No. Tadashi had heard well, but had been caught off guard. He immediately began to wonder what he could have meant even though he had a vague idea. His mouth suddenly went dry and he could feel his cheeks turning bright red again. Was it possible for Kei to even like him in that way? He wanted to ask, but he was too embarrassed for it. Instead, he decided to casually changed topics.
Nothing would make him happier than dating Kei. He liked him since he could remember and he was one of the few people that understood him really well. Though his personality needed some work, he was beautiful and close to perfect in his eyes. He admired him for everything that he was. Kei was the most important person in the entire world and honestly, he didn’t think he could ever find a better friend. For that sole reason, Tadashi prioritize their friendship above everything else. He didn’t want a silly confession ruining their already precious relationship.
However, things were always changing and he never thought that maybe Kei might feel the same way towards him. For some reason, he always thought he had some sort of attraction towards Kuroo, Nekoma’s past captain.
“Anyways, class is about to start. We should really get going.” Tadashi stood up and quickly adjusted his uniform. He was going to bend down to grab his bento when Kei suddenly caught his wrist tightly. He gasped, looking down at his friend with surprise. “Tsukki, what’s wrong!?”
Kei kept pulling him down until their faces were forced to be only a couple of centimeters away. Taking deep breaths, Tadashi felt him getting closer until the gap between them was briefly closed. Then, he was slowly kissed. It was quick and simple, but enough to set his heart racing like crazy.
“I’m going to miss you too.”
…