Work Text:
The pink hat is so dumb. She’s not even sure where Melissa found it, but she wears it every. Single. Day.
She doesn’t know a lot about like, teen-lesbian culture, despite being stranded with anywhere between two and fifteen (the numbers are numbering), so she can’t make any ‘assumptions’ as Akilah has been calling them (which they’re not assumptions when you’ve caught more than enough of them hooking up in the meat shed. Sorry, Ghost-Jackie).
Regardless, Melissa hasn’t been one of them, even though she was certain she and Gen were getting it on, so there’s no real proof.
Except for that stupid fucking hat.
Mari makes it a point to still keep up with some sort of routine, even through winter. She warms water near the fire to wash her face every so often, and she’s kept good care of the team’s three hairbrushes, which she makes use of when her fingers meet knots.
Melissa wakes up from her sleep, shakes her head like a dog, and plops that stupid hat over whatever rat has made a nest in her hair.
She’s a little dumb. Not in the same, delusional way the others can get where they see blood dripping from the walls or eat dirt - seriously, like, actual dirt - but in a charming way where she asks if Javi is a ghost, or beats herself up over thinking the wilderness may have traded Shauna’s baby for melting snow.
Mari covers her mouth most of the time, when Melissa speaks, because she never knows if she’ll need to hide a smile. One time, Melissa was handed a bucket to dig out the remaining snow that encircled the house, and asked “Have we ever tried cutting holes in the buckets? Makeshift armor,” as she placed it on top of her head.
She turned around, banged into a wall, and called out, “I’m good! Whoa, this does work,” and felt around until she successfully made it outside.
But she also doesn’t mind doing tasks that get her dirty. None of them do, after so much time spent with dirt and debris under their fingernails, but Melissa was one of the first to volunteer, back before the leaves changed colors. She’d show back up at the cabin with dirt staining her cheeks, which she’d try to wipe off with her sleeve.
She would always do such a terrible job, Mari wanted nothing more than to wet a cloth and clean Melissa’s cheek herself.
Mari never did, though. Even now, months later, she tries not to get too close to Melissa. Not because she’s homophobic - like, she was super happy when Van and Tai came out. But Melissa is still JV squad, and still Gen’s - another assumption Akilah has told her to forget about, but come on, they’re always together.
So Mari watches from afar; After chasing Nat and carrying Javi a mile back to camp, Melissa’s stripped off her top layer. She’s fanning herself with her hand, and all Mari wants to do is tug that hat off of her fucking head and offer it to her as a better alternative.
She doesn’t, though. She never does.
Later that night, Lottie interrupts Van during her story - Mari has no idea where it was going, but it sounded important - and claims that Nat has been chosen by the wilderness to lead.
Mari is, at first, extremely skeptical, but there’s some poetic irony about the biggest denier becoming their prophet or whatever.
She’s a little wrapped up in that idea until Melissa stands up to bow to their new queen, and -
Takes off her hat.
She takes off her hat and holds it to her chest. It’s a simple act, but there's something inherently more masculine about this choice than anyone else’s; there’s chivalry, and it makes something pool deep in Mari’s stomach. Melissa’s blue eyes bore into Nat’s, but all Mari can see is the way Melissa’s jaw clenches, the way she bows slightly, and the shaking of her fingers as they grip the rim of her hat, before placing it back on her head and retreating.
She takes her spot between Mari and Gen, and Mari watches Melissa’s hand squeeze Gen’s, before letting go.
Mari thinks, if she were Gen, she would’ve intertwined their fingers.
Mari thinks that maybe, just maybe, that’s a little gay.
She thinks about it a lot, actually. She hadn’t ever seen Melissa like that before when they were on JV together during Mari’s sophomore year, but she imagines that was because Melissa wore makeup, and sometimes even skirts, and her blonde hair always fell over her shoulders like curtains.
Now, there’s a roguishness about Melissa that she thinks resembles Van a bit; an air of masculinity that accompanies her walk, her posture, and the way she sits. Of course, she’s not into Van like that, because she thinks Tai would bite off her ear if she ever said anything close to “Van is hot” out loud, but it’s true, right?
Now she’s thinking about Tai just nibbling her ear, which is really off-topic and not the time.
Anyway, the oversized, mannish coats the others wear while hunting or doing chores always seem so awkwardly fitted or are stylized with makeshift headwraps and scarves.
With Melissa, though, she wears them like they’re hers. There’s an old jean jacket with a faded brown color that almost looks pink; Melissa claimed it early on, probably because it matched her hat.
Again, no one has any idea where Melissa found it, but it all comes together well.
Okay, fine. Mari’s probably a little gay. Screw it, she has needs, and everyone else has probably been boning anyway.
The big issue is going about it. Mari hasn’t exactly been the kindest person here, especially to the JV Squad - R.I.P Crystal, yadda yadda - so she probably can’t walk up to Melissa, lead her to the meat shed, and have her way with her.
That leaves two options:
- Spend the rest of her time here actually giving a shit about the people around her (which is easier now that her stomach is full, thanks Javi).
- Piss Melissa off so they can have hate sex or something (Mari’s seen it in movies, so, she’s kind of an expert).
Then she starts thinking, maybe if she actually follows through with number one, Nat will appoint her the next Queen, and then she’ll basically be immune from death, and she and Melissa can have as much sex as they want.
Except there’s probably something wrong about the power imbalance there, with her being the queen and Melissa potentially being their next meal at any point in time.
She’s gotten ahead of herself anyway since she is absolutely not the queen (yet).
Then, she thinks about the idea of pissing Melissa off and then Melissa being chosen to die the next day, and that’s just no way to go if these events accidentally happen back-to-back.
Then she starts thinking about eating Melissa, and then about eating Jackie, and oh my God, did someone, like, eat Jackie’s vagina??
Not the time.
Mari chooses option one, which is trouble all on its own. First, she doesn’t even know how to suddenly start being nice. Maybe she can model Lottie’s behavior, all self-sacrificing by letting Shauna beat the shit out of her, but then she thinks about Melissa moaning Lottie’s name instead of her own, since they’d be so similar, and that would fucking suck.
Instead, she just tries doing the opposite of everything she did before. Instead of letting Misty do all of the heavy lifting with Lottie (who’s pretty much fully recovered, now, so it’s a little late), she volunteers to take care of her for the day and lets Misty draw a chore card instead. She doesn’t rig it, either, so Misty gets an actual chore that doesn’t involve piss or buckets.
Misty is so relieved by this that she actually smiles at Mari, and Mari smiles back reflexively.
When she goes to the attic to help Lottie, she finds the girl already up, looking outside the one window.
“Hey, Lot,” Mari says softly, approaching her. She sits crosslegged below her, mapping out Lottie’s wounds like Misty taught her to, checking for any infection. They’re healing faster now that she’s got some food in her.
“Hey,” Lottie murmurs, never taking her eyes off the sky.
Mari swallows. She hates conversations like this - what she imagines is about to come. Usually, she’d crack a joke about Lottie smashing her head against the glass again to break the tension, but instead, she asks, “Are you thinking about Laura Lee?”
Lottie turns to her immediately. It’s been a while since anyone has said her name. Lottie takes a deep breath and nods. “I think about her every day.”
There’s a pause. Mari nods, letting Lottie continue, and maybe this was a mistake because no one has ever let Lottie talk about this. They let her grieve, and they let her sob, but no one ever dug into the truth behind those two.
“I don’t know if she would like what we’ve become. She was so… perfect.” Lottie says solemnly, gesturing vaguely. “But she would’ve ruined herself for us. For me.”
Mari reaches up to grab Lottie’s hand, which has formed into a tight, white-knuckled fist. “She died… Perfect.”
What a stupid thing to say, she has to finish this off somehow. God, what the fuck should she say?
“She died for Van. For us. For you. And maybe she’s still here, watching over you, proud of you for like, surviving and stuff. Or maybe she’s with God and Jesus and they’re eating all the shit we’re missing out on, like McDonalds and White Castle. Where she is - she’s not here. She’s still perfect.”
Lottie nods, and a tear slips down her cheek like Mari actually said something not stupid, which is a win in Mari’s book.
“Thanks, Mar,” Lottie squeezes her hand.
It goes like that for a while. Mari will take on a chore someone doesn’t like, and she’ll have a deep conversation with Lottie or Shauna (which usually is like pulling nails, because Shauna borders between complete suppression of her emotions and a volcano of feelings, spewing out onto the floorboards), and sometimes she takes Melissa’s hat at night (the only time it’s off her head) and scrapes off any dirt or debris. She doesn’t tell Melissa it’s her, but she always catches the blonde smiling while spinning her hat around on her fingers and admiring Mari’s work.
A few days or weeks later (Mari loses track so easily), Mari wakes up and feels a difference in the cabin, with the way the girls approach her, and how they speak to her. At one point, she forgot there was a plan in place and genuinely just started liking this new her. She’s still her, obviously, because she’s not gonna change herself for a girl or whatever, but she doesn’t feel as insecure anymore. She doesn’t feel the need to take out all of her internal pain on everyone else.
It’s nice.
A few hours after her realization, Gen and Melissa are sat at the table - not off-brand for them - but they look bored out of their minds.
Mari looks out the window - the sun still has a ways to go before it meets the horizon, which means Mari’s ultimate be-cute-not-a-cunt plan is ready to be executed. She’s been planning for this exact moment, and today is the day.
She plucks a pair of gloves Melissa’s been toying with from her hands - one of the closest interactions they’ve ever had, Mari notes - watching as the blonde’s eyes shoot up to hers. “What the-”
“Trust me, I need these,” Mari dangles them in front of her, before slipping the gloves onto her hands. They’re warm, like Melissa’s just been wearing them, which excites her for a reason she can’t even think about right now.
Because Mari starts building a snowman.
Up until now, they’ve refused to do anything fun with the snow - snow took Jackie, after all - but Mari revels in how it pacts neatly together as she rolls it around, until she has a base layer bigger than their largest bucket.
And just as Mari hoped, her shenanigans haven’t gained the attention of most of her teammates, but one girl is watching her from the porch, mouth agape.
“This is what you needed my gloves for?” Melissa says, jogging towards her.
Mari looks up and cocks her head, a lopsided smile on her face. “Oh, these gloves?” she holds her hands up and lets her eyes drag along them. “Funny, I don’t- I don’t see a name?”
Melissa barks out an actual laugh, and fuck, she’s just so fucking attractive, with that boyish smile, that argyle sweater she’s been hoarding the last couple of weeks - it’s all a bit too much, so Mari has no choice but to look away.
She pats the base of her snowman, “Yeah, this bad boy’s gonna be the next Yellowjacket. Midfielder.”
Melissa scoffs. "Did he tell you that?”
Mari nods solemnly. “He said it was only time before JV replaced you.”
Melissa gasps like she’s never been more offended in her life. “This snowman’s a dick.”
“I know, I love it,” Mari grins. She leans forward, beckoning Melissa to come closer, before whispering conspiratorially. “He told me that he thinks, if you two fought, he’d win. ”
Melissa has already begun rolling up her sleeves like she’s genuinely going to beat the shit out of this ball of snow, so Mari has no choice but to grab both of her wrists. “Not yet!”
Melissa grins. “Protecting your boyfriend? If I were you, I’d be looking out for his cousins.”
Mari rolls her eyes. “It’s not a fair fight, yet. You have to help me finish, then you can hit him.”
Melissa looks back and forth between the snowman - snowball? - and Mari, before nodding very seriously. “Give me a second.”
She practically jets it back into the cabin, before coming out with her own pair of gloves. “Let’s do it.”
Melissa is directing an actual smile at Mari that she couldn’t stop herself from reciprocating even if she taped her mouth shut.
It doesn’t take long. Melissa starts on the torso while Mari sculps a perfect head - she doesn’t want Melissa to think she’s some sort of amateur snowman-maker, right?
What the fuck does that mean?
Halfway through her endeavor, something cold hits her shoulder. Her head shoots up, and there stands Melissa, slapping snow off of her gloves and whistling like she didn’t just pelt Mari with a fucking snowball.
Melissa stops whistling to side-eye Mari. “What?”
Mari says nothing, instead lifting up the snowball she’s been making out of sight and chucking it at Melissa as hard as she can (which is not really that hard - she’s a soccer player, okay? If she could kick it she’d do massive damage).
Regardless, she’s accurate enough to hit her straight on, knocking her off balance and causing her to fall back into the snow.
Mari laughs until she releases Melissa hasn’t gotten up.
“Melissa?”
Mari pushes herself up from her knees, walking over as Melissa shakes her head, groaning softly.
“Are you okay- AHH!”
Suddenly Mari’s been flipped onto her back, her yellow sweatshirt soaking with wet snow. “You think one snowball could kill me?”
She’s pinned Mari down by her arms, making it almost impossible to respond; she feels like a loser, because Melissa is being all cute and friendly while Mari is thinking about other things. She’s debating between turning her head and letting her cheek mash into the snow, or looking Melissa straight in the eyes, only inches between them.
“I thought maybe I put a rock in it or something,” she says between struggling under Melissa’s grip. “How the fuck are you so strong?”
“Coach didn’t get you guys in the weight room enough.” Melissa’s smile has turned wolfish as she leans down, nose to nose with Mari. “Back home, I could bench press your body weight.”
Mari basically has no fucking clue what that means, but she definitely likes the way Melissa’s looking at her. Mari’s eyes flicker between Melissa’s blue, and she’s tempted, so tempted to lean forward and wipe that smile right off of Melissa’s pretty face.
Unfortunately, that pink fucking hat interrupts them, slipping off of Melissa’s head to plop onto Mari’s face.
“Shit,” Melissa giggles, pushing herself off of Mari. “The one time I decided to loosen it up, too!”
Mari sits up as Melissa rambles on about the specifics of hat tightening, which like, could be considered adorable by some people (Mari).
Mari looks at the hat and remembers Middle School dances when girls didn’t know how to flirt with boys, and instead, they’d steal their hats and wear them around. She had never done it herself, never been brave enough, but her friends had. It seems dumb looking back, but that doesn’t stop Mari from placing the hat on her own head (backward, of course).
She wonders if this is enough of a sign.
She doesn’t have to wonder for long; Melissa stops mid-rant.
“How do I look?” Mari asks as coyly as she can, leaning forward to give Melissa a good look.
Melissa swallows, which is like, really funny because Mari thinks this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has happened this whole winter. Shauna and Lottie have probably had their way with every girl in that cabin at some point, and Mari flirts by wearing her crush's hat. Not only that but said crush is actually affected by this form of flirting like it’s working.
Jesus Christ, they deserve each other.
“Really good,” Melissa nods, and she keeps nodding like it's all she knows how to do at the moment.
It’s silent for a moment, and Mari thinks this is the moment she’s supposed to lean in, but she kind of wants Melissa to move first, wants Melissa to want her, to-
The cabin door slams open.
“HEY!” Van calls from twenty feet away. “FUCKING KISS!”
“VAN!” Tai tries dragging Van back into the Cabin, but Van grips the doorframe.
“They’re taking too long,” is the last thing Van says before Tai (and Shauna, who’s joined this fiasco) pull her back inside.
“Sorry,” Tai mouths, closing the cabin door behind her.
Mari just stares at the cabin. On one hand, she’s glad she’s gotten closer to the other girls and that they actually like her, but maybe that wasn’t worth the trade-off of them getting this invested in her love life.
Melissa sucks in a breath. She looks like she’s about to say something, maybe apologize for leading Mari on, maybe tell Mari that her snowman looked shit anyway, maybe-
But she leans forward and kisses Mari. Like, actually kisses her, and Mari kisses back, because duh, but then Melissa’s pulling back like she’s allowed to do that, just far enough to murmur “Meat shed?”
Mari is on her feet before Melissa can even open her eyes, one hand in Melissa’s, the other holding onto that stupid hat so it doesn’t slip off her head. “Meat shed.”
An hour and three hickeys later, Mari mentally corrects herself: The lesbian count is anywhere between four and fifteen.