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Isagi Yoichi is an idiot.
No, he’s not an actual idiot like Zantetsu, but Nagi does think Isagi is a huge idiotic bastard for dragging people into his team only to leave and abandon them at the end. To sum it up: He’s completely bitter over their loss to the Top 3 team. Although it’s not like he’s opposed to Rin’s decision to take Isagi either. Quite the contrary, he’s positive that everyone would agree with him if he says that Isagi is the MVP in that match—as bitter as it is to actually admit it out loud. Still, it doesn’t mean that it’s not annoying in the slightest.
Currently, Nagi is busily making an effort to drag his feet back towards his shared room with Chigiri and Barou. He’s just finished with lunch. There’s still a bit of time before his regular afternoon training session, and he wants to try leveling up on some of his games before that.
At least, that’s his original plan.
Accidentally bumping into an eccentric player is not part of his plan, and Nagi already hates how he can practically smell “trouble” before that player even opens his mouth.
“Sorry, I didn’t—”
“‘Sup, man! You must be that Nagi boy!”
Nagi winces. Unlike Reo, he never really appreciates being put in the spotlight. How he’d become so well-known that a random player he’s certain he has never met before even knows his name is a question for another day. Right now, he just wants his well-deserved peace and solitude.
“Um, yeah. That’s me. Anyways, I gotta go—”
“Whoa! Not so fast, dude!”
The player spreads his arms, as if he’s playing defense in an actual field.
‘What a pain,’ Nagi laments, already mourning about the time he’s wasting here that he could’ve used to play his games.
“Alright,” Nagi grumbles, “If you wanna fight me, let’s do it on the field, and let’s make this quick. I need to do the daily quest before tonight so I won’t break my record.”
He turns to head towards the training field, but the guy grabs his arm before he can take another step further.
“Hold up! I would love to crush ya any other day, but that’s not what I’m here for right now.”
“Huh?”
Nagi blinks owlishly and tilts his head in puzzlement. This guy is weird. His overall features are also weird; thick eyelashes, thick eyeliner, and what’s up with that neon pink highlight on his bangs?
“I’m just here to tell ya, your mate might be in trouble.”
Nagi scrunches his nose in confusion. “My mate? What do you mean my mate?”
“That purple bun, duh. You two are bonded mates right? There’s no way he’s gotten so hung up over a random beta like you ditching him.”
“You mean…Reo? Reo is in trouble?”
“Yea, man. He’s been in a rut since yesterday and that looks pretty painful. I’m surprised the staff here haven’t even told you yet.”
“Reo and I aren’t bonded mates,” he corrects the guy. Something about this guy really bothers him, but before he can put his finger on what it is, another thought occurred to him. “And what do you mean he’s in a rut? Reo is a beta!”
The eyelashes guy gives him a weird look. Nagi squirms under his gaze—he doesn’t like dealing with weirdos—but he stands his ground.
“I see. So, it’s like that, huh?”
“What do you mean? And who are you anyway? How do you know Reo?”
“The name’s Shidou Ryuusei. Haha! I plucked him out of the 2v2 match with that gullible hero.”
Nagi’s eyes widened at that. ‘So, Reo and Kunigami lost to this guy?’
“Anyways, none of those is important now.” The guy— Shidou —quickly waves off his curiosity. “But man, poor purple bun. He’s actually quite useful, ya know? Shame you ditched him.”
“I am not ditching him.” Nagi scowls. “And don’t talk about Reo like he’s a tool to be used!”
Having grown up in a rich family as their sole heir, Reo once confessed to him that he often felt as if he’s just a tool born to be used by his parents and their colleagues. Nagi knows for a fact that Reo hates that. It’s not wrong for him to be offended on his friend’s behalf, isn’t it?
“You act all possessive like that yet you dumped him for some stranger dude? Are you the type who likes giving out false hopes? Not cool, man. Poor purple bun for having to deal with a guy like you.”
Nagi grits his teeth. This guy is beginning to get on his nerves. ‘What’s his deal anyway?’
“You keep talking about Reo as if you know him better than me, but none of what you said so far even makes sense. If you have nothing important to say, then piss off. I want to go back to my games.”
Shidou’s lips curl in distaste. “You’re no fun. What does purple bun even see in you?”
Nagi opens his mouth to fire back some biting retort, but Shidou beats him to the punch. “Anyways, if you really care about that little friend of yours, you probably wanna check the infirmary.”
All the irritation suddenly vanishes into thin air. “Reo is in the infirmary?”
Shidou, as expected, ignores him and goes on, “I’m not doing this out of the kindness in my heart, alright? I’m just doing this cause he’s in my team and it’ll be trouble for me if he’s still too sick to play in the next game. Purple bun deserves better anyway. Hell, I would snatch him if he’s not head-over-heels already with ya. You better be grateful, Mr. Lazy Ass.”
Shidou then rattles off some directions that’s supposed to be leading to the infirmary room before vanishing from that corridor, leaving Nagi with a series of burning questions on his tongue.
Nagi contemplates going after Shidou, but one of the things that Shidou said just now really bothers him. Even though he isn’t sure how Shidou could’ve mistook Reo as an alpha, the fact that Reo is currently in the infirmary alone has him worried. Part of him is convinced that Shidou was just bluffing… but what for?
Curiosity kills the cat, but in the end his curiosity and worry win over. He’s resolved to check on Reo, even if it’s just to reassure himself.
There are a lot more turns and corridors in this maze of a building than Nagi had initially expected. After thirty minutes of almost getting lost and contemplating if doing this is even worth wasting his time, he finally arrives at a room with the label “infirmary” slapped on its door.
There’s a small glass window on the door for some curious kid like him to peek in, so Nagi does just that. Holding his breath, he squints to see through the glass and sweeps his gaze around.
The interior inside looks just like any room in a medical facility; several sets of single-beds and small cabinets separated tiny sections by pastel green curtains. From this angle, he can make out a silhouette of a boy curling into himself on one of the small beds there. His breath hitched.
With a startling realization, Nagi figures out that the boy must be Reo; there’s no mistaking those shiny purple strands and uneven bangs anywhere despite the boy’s face being hidden behind his folded arms.
Admittedly, it is kind of jarring to see his friend in this state.
The normal Reo that Nagi is familiar with has always appeared to be someone who’s very joyful, charismatic, and full of confidence. Yet, the boy inside this room is anything but those things. The sight gives into Nagi’s worry enough that he wrenches open the door without any second thoughts, letting his gut feeling and his feet lead the decision.
In hindsight, he realizes that it might not be the best course of action.
Sure, Shidou had warned him that Reo is in a rut right now, but Nagi hadn’t believed it back then. After all, everyone at Hakuho High knew that their former student council president was a beta. Reo let everyone believe that; he never even told Nagi that he’s anything other than a beta.
But contrary to what he’d believed up until now, standing in a room filled with a scent so suffocating that it’s almost enough to trigger his nausea, the evidence here is clearer than ever: Mikage Reo is in a rut.
As much as Nagi hates to admit it, turns out that the weirdo eyelashes who confronted him earlier hadn’t been bluffing, and it only adds to his bubbling mix of unrecognized feelings to realize that Reo probably planned to keep him in the dark for however long.
‘Aren’t we best-friends? Isn’t Reo supposed to tell me these kinds of things?’
He must have just accidentally uttered his thoughts out loud because Reo suddenly tenses up before whispering, “Nagi…?”
Nagi stops in his tracks. “How do you know that it’s me?”
Reo chuckles weakly. Nagi notices the way his shoulders are shaking, yet the voice is too hoarse and lacking the playful tone that he’s used to hearing from Reo.
“Heh. Do you think I won’t be able to pick up your scent? I know you better than anyone, Nagi.”
Those words are spoken softly, yet it twists an imaginary knife inside Nagi’s chest.
“You know, Reo, I also thought that it’s the same for me when it comes to you. But now? What is this? Are you really in a rut, Reo? How come you never told me that you’re an alpha?”
An impregnable silence fills in the room as soon as the question drops. The silence stretches so long that Nagi is almost convinced that Reo isn’t going to say anything anymore. But just as the thought crosses his mind, Nagi hears a huff of chuckle; a shaky one, a breathless one. It sounds so pitiful that for a split second Nagi wonders whether it’s really his friend or merely a fragment of his imagination.
“…I didn’t want you to know,” Reo whispers.
“Why?”
Nagi strains his ear, anticipating another softly spoken reply. Yet, silence greets him once again.
With a sigh, he takes some steps further into the room; one step, two steps, three steps—until he directly stands in front of his friend.
“Reo—”
“I didn’t want anyone to know.”
Those words are uttered in a rush, so fast and so quiet that Nagi almost misses it. He’s about to open his mouth to prod further, yet Reo beats him to it.
“I hate it. I hate this. I hate myself! Don’t you understand?! Can’t you see how pathetic I am right now?!”
No.
Nagi sucks in a sharp breath. All of sudden, the room feels more suffocating than it was before.
No.
What he’s just heard cannot be right. Reo never puts himself down like that. Reo would never—
Does he know Reo at all? Just how many things that Reo has been keeping from him?
Still, seeing Reo looking all miserable like this, something inside Nagi just gives. His fingers twitch by his side, wanting to reach out and run his fingers through Reo’s hair to offer some comfort, although he’s not sure whether the gesture would be appreciated.
Just when Nagi is about to take his chance, Reo abruptly lifts his head up, just a bit, just enough for Nagi to take in his friend’s pale skin and wet cheeks. Reo brings up his hands to wipe off the tears as he resumes his rant.
“I get why you left, honestly.” Reo chuckles bitterly. “I get it, you know? Huh. That Isagi guy is really way more interesting than me, isn’t he?”
This time, Nagi can’t help but butts in, “What Isagi has to do with this?”
He can see Reo’s whole body tensing, as if bracing himself for Nagi’s outburst. But Nagi himself doesn’t get it. It’s not like he’s angry at Reo—mildly irritated, yes, but not actually angry. Reo should know it. They’re always able to guess what the other is thinking all the time as if they’re both each other’s mind-readers. So, since when has that changed? Since when has he felt the need to own something like a character guidebook just to understand his best-friend?
Has Blue Lock changed them so much that they’re unable to understand each other again?
“I want to know why you lied to me. And I want to help if you’re in pain. So, Reo, stop making this difficult. Stop talking nonsenses and—”
Reo slaps his hand away before Nagi can even touch him. The way his skin stings afterwards feels oddly familiar; the memory of that one time Reo did the same in the bathroom has never really left his mind.
Nagi grits his teeth. His irritation flares up. Yet, it dies instantly the second Reo’s head finally snaps up—the second he catches a sight of Reo’s crumpled face.
“How many times do you want to hear it?! Yes, I know, I am pathetic. ”
“Stop talking like that—”
“Don’t you get it, Nagi?! I hate everything I was born with! I hate my status. I hate this alpha gene. I am nothing like Isagi who shamelessly dominated the field with his scent. Heck! I’m probably the only in the world who hates being born as an alpha. That’s why I’ve been doing everything to hide it. That’s why I can never be someone like Isagi. That’s the reason why you’re done with me, isn’t it?! So, why bother now?!”
“Is that what you’re thinking…?” Nagi wonders aloud.
What Shidou said earlier comes back to him. ‘Shame you ditched him.’
The way Shidou spat it on his face grated on his nerves, but the possibility of Reo actually feeling like that had never occurred to him before. It should not occur at all.
“What gave you the impression that I left you for Isagi?”
“Are you seriously asking me—”
“Because I never did, Reo.”
Nagi catches Reo’s wrist and squeezes it tightly when he notices his friend is about to push him away again. Reo glares at him, to which Nagi levels it with his own glare.
“Reo, I don’t give a damn whether it was Isagi or anyone else. Frankly, I don’t even care whether Isagi is an alpha or not. The only reason I wanted to team up with Isagi was because I thought I would be able to take something from him in order to become stronger. And for what? It’s for the sake of our dream, Reo. Have you forgotten it entirely? Did you actually forget the reason why we’re here in the first place?”
The scent filling in the room abruptly shifts into something else. It feels lighter, less suffocating, yet all the negative emotions from earlier are still lingering in the air. At a closer look, he notices that the passive-aggressive glint on Reo’s eyes has shifted into something else, something a tad gentler, something that’s less fiery and guarded, yet Nagi can’t put his finger on what it is.
“Let me go,” Reo says quietly. He’s gone from trying to subdue Nagi in a staring contest to finding his lap interesting again. “Let me go, Nagi.”
“ No. ” He squeezes Reo’s wrist tighter as an emphasis. “If letting you go means you’re becoming self-destructive like this, then I’m never letting you go again.”
Reo huffs out a wry laugh. “You’re cruel. How can you just be so casually cruel like that?”
“What? All I want is to help you—”
“You really got no clue when it comes to other people’s feelings, don’t you?!” A sniffle. Then, a strangled sob. “I hate you.”
“…No,” Nagi says resolutely, “You hate yourself.” He releases his hold in order to cradle Reo’s head. “And you shouldn’t,” he murmurs.
He settles down on the empty space on that cold bed and pulls Reo along with him so that Reo’s upper body rests on his chest. Reo doesn’t put up a fight at all, perhaps too tired from all the crying. For a few minutes there, he holds Reo tightly and runs his fingers through his friend’s purple strands. He’s never been particularly good at something like an emotional confrontation, so he just sits awkwardly there and waits for the sobs to die down.
“You really are insufferable,” Reo rasps, “ Fuck you, Nagi.”
Those words carry no bite—not at all, considering Reo doesn’t even bother to struggle against his hold. Yet, Nagi begins to understand what his friend had said earlier. No wonder that it never crossed his mind the possibility of Reo being an alpha—Reo never acts like one.
Reo’s negative emotions smell like burnt metal and ashes, heavy and suffocating, but not unbearably so. The dissipating scent in this room here only carries with it some despair, longing, and self-hatred, without any hint of actual anger behind it.
Reo keeps pushing people away, and Nagi has seen it all; the girls who give him chocolates on Valentine’s, the boys who try to take advantage of his fame, the school staff who are trying to get on his good side simply because of his wealth. Reo is so good at pushing people away, as if it comes with the basic skills set that he’s born with, but Reo has never trampled over other people in order to do it.
Nagi can’t be sure whether it’s noteworthy or just sad, but that’s just how Reo is.
Unlike Barou and Isagi who are constantly picking fights in order to prove themselves, Reo simply never has to. After all, Reo is akin to a flame in a sea of moths; people naturally cater to Reo just like that. Perhaps that’s why Reo has never felt any desire to dominate like other alphas. Perhaps that’s why Reo has always been generous despite never actually caring much about people who really only cater to him because of his wealth and reputation.
It’s kind of ironic how Nagi only realizes all of these now.
“I can help you,” he finds himself saying suddenly.
Reo laughs bitterly. “What can you even do now?”
“I don’t know,” Nagi admits, “But I know a thing or two about how sex is supposed to work.”
Something about his words makes Reo stiffen in his hold. Reo abruptly peels himself away from him, but before Nagi could begin to ask about it, Reo already turns his back towards him.
“Reo—”
“No. Stop.”
“But—”
“Stop it, Nagi. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Reo inhales a deep breath and mutters, “‘Sides, I don’t need it.”
“Huh? Aren’t you in a rut right now…?”
Reo shakes his head weakly. “They drugged the hell outta me, idiot. Can’t you tell?”
When Reo turns to face him again, Nagi notices the dark circles under his eyes, and how pale his lips are. Nagi connects the dots and sucks a sharp breath. “Does it hurt…?”
“Nah. I don’t even feel horny at all. Just tired. It must be some kind of top notch medication.” Reo smiles wryly. “Makes me feel like shit, though. You really came at the worst possible time, Nagi.”
“I think I came just at the right time.”
Nagi scoots over to make himself comfortable on the other side of Reo’s bed. It really is a small bed, but it’s not like the two of them are giants like Barou. They should be able to make it fit.
“Here,” he pats the empty space beside him. “Come lie down, Reo.”
Alas, Reo doesn’t seem to share the same idea as him, instead giving him a bewildered look. “What are you doing? Seriously, Nagi, just go away. No need to worry about me. I’ll be back on my game tomorrow. Besides, Isagi and the others would go look for you.”
He notices how Reo still looks uncomfortable at saying Isagi’s name out loud, so he feels the need to blurt out, “We lost against the Top 3 team. Isagi got taken away by Rin, so now it’s only me, Chigiri, and that annoying Barou.”
Disbelief colors Reo’s face. It’s not exactly the expression that Nagi would rather see, but he reasons that it’s at least way better than the despaired look before.
“Chigiri might worry a bit, but Barou probably doesn’t give a single shit about me. So, it’s fine, really. Come here already, Reo. Don’t you get tired from all those crying?”
At being called out so blatantly, Reo’s face reddens. “Shut it. It’s your fault anyway,” he mumbles.
Nagi hears it loud and clear, yet he decides to not address it. Instead, he tugs Reo down and pulls him into his embrace. Only when Reo’s breathing seems to slow down does Nagi finally speak again.
“…It doesn’t matter to me, you know?”
“Huh?”
“Your genetics, your status, or stuff like that—those things don’t matter to me,” Nagi clarifies. “Reo is just Reo.”
A beat of silence passes. Nagi is starting to think that Reo wasn’t going to respond with anything when he hears his friend’s quiet voice penetrating the room once again.
“I didn’t mean to hide it from you forever,” Reo admits. “I was just scared.”
Nagi takes a deep breath. “And I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit by leaving you behind. I always believed that you would catch up to us—I still believe that.”
He can’t see it clearly due to the long bangs covering over the half of Reo’s face, but he thinks he just caught a glimpse of Reo’s first sincere smile in so long.
“Let’s sleep.”
“What if the nurse or someone walks in and finds us tangled up like this?”
“Don’t care. Don’t wanna think. Thinking is annoying. Let’s just deal with it if it happens later.”
The atmosphere in the room shifts. Breathing feels so much lighter now. Gone now the smell of burnt metal and ashes. It evaporates into thin air and is replaced by the smell of something richer and powdery—the scent that Nagi is more familiar with.
It smells like home now.