Chapter Text
I didn't feel like I was floating, not at all. Rather, I felt as if I were drowning.
I always felt as though I were drowning when i was at school, where mostly everyone were socs, so getting things thrown at my head or having curses written on my locker were normal experiences for me.
I felt like I drowning out in town, where I didn't ever feel safe, not even around other greasers now. I haven't felt safe around anyone thats not my gang for a while now.
And even though I love the guys, I really do, I can't say I feel right at all around them. Safe, yes, but not right. I don't fit in at all. They all seem to be so alike to eachother, their conversations are so natural, they don't have to force themselves to be someone else when they're with eachother. They all understand eachother well, which makes sense since we've all known eachother since we were young. The only problem is is that they've never truly known me.
So, no, even though some people say that death feels like the tons of pressure that's been piled on you since the day you were born were miraculously lifted off and you feel yourself being lifted higher than the sky, that's not what I felt.
Maybe it's 'cause I didn't fully die. Maybe the reason I felt like I was drowning at that moment is because I really was.
The last things i can remember are falling into the water of the lake me and the guys have swam in since we knew how, expecting to never reach the surface of it again.
I was so close, I know I was, but then just as I thought it was all over, on my shoulders and waist I felt hands, more than a pair, pick me up out of the freezing cold water of a lake that I once felt comfort in.
I think I might of someone heard coughing and maybe I saw blood but I can't trust my memory right now. But what I know for sure is that I definitely heard a voice. I don't whos it was or what they said, but I know with 100% certainty that I heard someone familiar speaking.
Speaking to me.
After that my vision left me, and I could no longer see blood or hear coughing or a familiar voice of any sort.