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Hitori pushed two fifty yen coins into the vending machine, the soft hum providing a sort of urban comfort. The light from inside provided illumination better than the shoddy street lights ever could, flickering restlessly down the street as if trying desperately to provide a safe path forward.
Despite their guiding light, Hitori had never felt more lost.
She chewed her bottom lip as she fished around in her pockets for more loose change, and finding none she shook her head and held in a noise of frustration.
She looked to her right, finding Nijika leaning up against the machine with a cold feeling aura surrounding her. As much as she didn't want to make the situation worse…
"U-um, Niji-..."
Nijika began to dig in her bag and then moved to push two more coins into the machine, wordlessly selecting the cola she knew Hitori was wanting.
The can fell with a thunk, and Hitori gave a thankful smile.
Nijika pretended not to notice. Hitori's smile fell.
She reached down for her cola, feeling a mix of relief but also of consternation. She understood Nijika's feelings, and she knew she wasn't trying to take it out on her…
She just wished there was something she could say to make her feel better. But the memory kept replaying in her own head, too, and the feeling of anxiety was ever present.
It was like watching a tense scene in a horror film for the first time, never quite sure of who might make it out alive, or who might be okay by the end of the film. But that anxiety was twofold in real life.
Now she wasn't sure if they would make it out alive. Or at the very least make it out together.
Hitori kept telling herself that things would be better in the morning, but she wasn't sure if she had the energy or hope to hold out for that to be true.
But, still… Some things can be taken back. Some things can't. Even Hitori was kind of hurt by some of the things that were said, and she wasn't entirely of the mind that Nijika would trust her sister to the same extent she used to. At least not with certain parts of her personal life.
She opened the can of cola, enjoying the brief moment of respite allowed by the satisfying pop of the can depressurizing.
The sound seemed to bring Nijika back to Earth somewhat, as she stopped just staring at her own can of melon soda and actually opened it.
She took a drink and sighed in both satisfaction and utter annoyance. Hitori was just glad that she was finally letting something out. She had been silent since they left Starry.
Nijika glared down at the can in her hand before she quickly downed it and threw it on the ground as hard as possible.
Hitori jumped in surprise as she crushed it under her shoes.
"Ugh! Stupid! Stupid! Idiot!" Nijika half shouted, trying to hold in her outburst at least a little since it was already so late. Trying to hold herself back just made her even more angry. "What business is it of hers what I do with my life, who I choose to be with!? I…! I…! Agh!"
She kicked the can away and it bounced off of the storefront in front of them, coming right back to her like a lost puppy. She breathed hard and deep, trying to quash her anger down.
Hitori just watched in silence as she bent down to pick up the now abused can, shaking her head and huffing as she threw it away.
"Nijika, I… Um…"
Silence fell across the space again, a faux sense of peacefulness that was anything but to the two girls inhabiting it.
Nijika finally turned to look at Hitori, and her glare softened. "Sorry, Bocchi-chan, I-I just… I'm so angry! I thought-"
She was cut off by Hitori's arms suddenly being thrown around her, holding tightly. She allowed a melancholic smile to grace her lips.
"Your family understood, I thought mine would, too."
Hitori felt a harsh stabbing feeling strike her chest, the words sounded so dejected and sorrowful. They didn’t deserve to come out of Nijika’s mouth. They should never have had to. So she held onto her even more tightly, hoping to stop any more in their tracks.
Hitori’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, words dying in her throat before even making it past her tongue. It was infuriating, wanting to say so much but being unable to say anything at all.
Not that that wasn't common for her, but now it hit differently, felt worse.
She released the hug, placing a hand on Nijika’s shoulder as she pulled back to look into her eyes. The almost imperceptible traces of tears that had fallen not that long ago tied a knot in her throat, but she forced past it the best she could as her hand took position on Nijika’s cheek.
She felt her legs grow somewhat wobbly as she swallowed hard, fighting back the fear of saying something wrong. Once upon a time she would have let that feeling control her. She refused to give it its way. Not now.
“E-everything will be fine,” Hitori whispered. She wished she could be sure of it, but at least she didn't believe she was lying.
Nijika wiped at her face, rubbing the palms of her hands into her eyes as she shuddered. She didn’t want to start crying again, anger was a much more preferable emotion. It felt better, more satisfying. But Hitori wasn’t helping, and she found it somehow impossible to be angry anymore. Her short outburst was probably more anger than she had truly felt in years.
It was kind of funny how fast such a feeling could tire you out, drain you of your willpower as quickly as it comes and goes.
“How do you know?” Nijika asked her, clenching her eyes shut to hold back a fresh wave of tears.
“Sh-she didn’t sound angry, did she? She was just trying to understand it, maybe.”
The words hung in place as Nijika tried to believe them. But Hitori was right about Seika not sounding angry, she had never truly raised her voice even once.
At least, not until she herself did.
In the end, that didn't count for too much in Nijika's books. Somehow, the words hurt even more when spoken in that cool tone of hers.
Nijika placed a hand against Hitori's, feeling her warmth and trying to forget. But that was just wishful thinking, and she knew it. She'd be thinking about it all night. She'd barely get any sleep, and that would just make matters even worse if she let it.
"Hitori, you don't suppose I could… come with you tonight? Stay over at your place? It's far enough away it might… I-I really don't wanna be alone tonight."
Hitori, under normal circumstances, might have blushed at such a proposition, stammered out a vague reply that might have meant yes but might have been her fishing for a reason to say no. Their relationship was still somewhat new, after all.
Even so, these weren't normal circumstances, and she hated the thought of Nijika being alone tonight just as much as she probably feared it.
Hitori didn't even have to think about it.
"O-of course, when we get off the train we can get some popcorn a-and rent that movie you've been wanting to see…"
Nijika wanted to say no. She didn't feel like doing anything but going to bed and forgetting everything that happened, forgetting she'd have to deal with it tomorrow when she inevitably woke up to a thousand missed calls and texts.
But as much as she wanted to do that, Hitori's offer sounded nice. Like a convenient excuse to make out with her cute girlfriend, and take out aggression in a much more passionate and healthy way.
So Nijika closed her eyes, took a deep breath… and forced a smile, knowing she wouldn't have to force it soon. Because somehow…
Somehow it always just seemed to work out when she was with Hitori, or at least that's how it felt.
"Yeah. That sounds great. But we're getting extra butter, and I won't hear a no!"
Nijika wiped the last few remaining tear stains away and laughed. It was half forced out, clearly strained. But there was enough genuine laughter mixed in that Hitori felt a wave of relief wash over her at the sound.
The two joined hands.
Nijika would be hearing no arguments from her.