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Reo is too much.
That's what his parents tell him, at least.
"Reo, you cry too easily. Nobody wants to see that."
"Reo-chan, you laugh too animatedly. It's impolite."
"Reo, you shouldn't get angry. It gives us a bad look."
"Reo-chan, you don't need anyone else. Stop getting so worked up over being 'lonely'."
"Reo, your affection is too intense. Dial it back, people will be creeped out."
"Reo-chan, you're too much."|"Reo, you're too much."
Reo knew he was an emotional person, he knew it the second he'd turned an age he could understand how to follow instructions. He remembered the first time he had been told not to cry.
5
Reo hadn't been having a very good day. It was his 5th birthday, and he was sat alone in a corner watching his parents' friends' (probably not even friends...business partners) children have fun. It's not that they didn't want to talk to him, and it wasn't as if Reo didn't want to talk to them either. The problem is, well, none of them were people who actually cared about Reo. Of course, they're so little that they probably didn't even realize that they weren't here because they cared about Reo. They weren't even here because they had asked. Reo's parents were the ones who organized the party. They made sure they invited every business partner that had children. Of course, they invited them under the guise of "your kids will have fun" and "the business opportunities are just a plus~".
Reo knew they didn't care. They didn't care about his birthday. They didn't care that he was curled up on himself in the corner. Well... they did care, but not in the way he wanted them to. A girl his age, by the name of Mitsuki, had noticed him sitting by himself. She shyly walked up to him and gave him a small wave. Reo did not wave back. She sat next to him, fiddling with the little ruffles on her dress. About a minute went by, and Reo was just about to ask her to leave him alone, but she spoke up.
"Are you okay?"
That's it. That's all it took for the fragile boy to break down, crying into his arms and wiping the dripping tears up with his sleeves. Mitsuki jumped a little bit, and she looked guilty when she realized he only started crying after she'd asked. She mumbled a 'sorry' before getting up and running to fetch his parents. He watched as she tugged on her mother's skirt, then pointed to Reo. Her mother then whispered something to his mother, who threw him a look and whispered to his father. His father sighed and seemingly muttered an apology with a smile even little Reo recognized to be fake. Reo quickly turned to his father, but his heart dropped when he realized there wasn't a hint of sympathy on his father's face.
"Reo, what are you crying for? There's no reason for you to cry right now. Now go clean your face, we're about to cut the cake."
Reo just stared at him with wide eyes. "P-papa..." He had no way to articulate his thoughts. He had just turned 5, after all. He barely even understood his own emotions. He pointed his shaky, chubby, little fingers towards the kids playing around in a bouncy castle. "They don't care about me..." he whined. His father only spared a glance towards the kids. He bent down to eye level, and right when Reo was about to return the hug he thought he'd be getting, he only received a grip on his shoulder.
"Reo, you cry too much. It doesn't matter what those kids think of you. You will grow up and inherit my company. You will have everyone bowing at your finger tips. You will have a beautiful wife who will take care of you. You will have kids of your own, and the cycle will repeat. You're here to fulfill that cycle, don't forget it."
He stood up and left. Reo felt cold. So unbelievably and so uncomfortably cold as he watched his father continue his conversation from where he'd left off. As told, he waddled his way to the bathroom to wash his face. He stared in the mirror, and his reflection stared back. He couldn't keep it in anymore, he broke out into an ugly sob. The emotions poured out of him harder and more intense than he's ever felt. Nobody came to comfort him. Nobody even noticed how long he was in there, not until it was time to cut the cake. This time, it was his mother who had come looking for him.
"Reo-chan, are you in there?"
Her voice, sweet and melodic, rang through Reo's ears, and thought, that for a second, he might receive some comfort. The door knob turned, and Reo ran face first into his mother's arms. A pat on the head, and Reo thought that she cared. Maybe his mother was secretly an angel. Maybe she was his guardian angel who'd come to sweep him away from his overbearing father. When her hand slowly changed to a soft grip, though, Reo's heart dropped once again. He looked up and once again received a smile, hiding the cold, icy glare that was directed at him. One that made Reo's blood run cold.
"Reo-chan, wash your face, please. We wouldn't want anyone to see you like this."
-You didn't want anyone to see me like that.-
Reo nodded, and his mother grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away. She led him towards the sink, where she watched Reo soak his face with water.
"Don't get your hair wet."
As a 5 year old, Reo didn't know how exactly to avoid it. He grabbed his bangs with a fist, and from his mother's glare in the mirror, he guessed he had chosen wrong. She swatted his hand away and turned him around. Carefully, she pulled them apart into halves and clipped them to the side of his head. Reo muttered a "thank you" and began continuing his face washing routine. Throw water on his face, breathe in, repeat until the dried tears had dissipated.
Reo's mother grabbed a towel once Reo had turned the water off, and rubbed his face with it. After he had been dried, she unclipped his bangs, fixed them up, and led him out the bathroom. Everyone had gathered around the table. Reo was the only one missing. The birthday boy. Nobody could care less about the birthday boy.
Reo had always been easy to make laugh. He loved laughter, it was one of the only things to make him feel something within the monotony of his life. Of course, that had to be taken away from him too. Everything he seemed to enjoy was always ripped from his grasp.
7
Reo had been tagging along with his parents at some sort of function. It was the weekend, so he wasn't in school. Normally, he would have just stayed home and Ba-Ya would be taking care of him. This time, though, his parents had insisted on him coming, presumably to show him off.
Reo's parents were always weird when it came to him interacting with other kids. While most other kids had fun, Reo's parents would hold him back. They'd make sure he was at their side at nearly all times.
"No running off, Reo. Those kids aren't like you. You're better than them."
Reo always felt a bit overwhelmed by that statement: "you're better than them".
Reo is just like everyone else, so why are they saying he's better? Is he really? Is Reo better than everyone else? If he was better, then why was he so sad? Why didn't he get to play with other kids? Why didn't he get to share in the joy and wonder they felt?
While deep in a conversation pertaining to something Reo couldn't care less about, Reo's parents had taken their eyes off of him. Reo was bored, so he tried to strike up a conversation with another kid.
"Oh, you're Mikage, right? Wanna come play with us?"
Reo had shook his head. While he definitely wanted to, he couldn't disobey his parents.
"My parents will be mad at me, so I can't. Sorry." He responded. The boy only nodded and took his side. He had dark, wavy hair and orange eyes. Reo resisted the urge to play with his hair, that'd definitely be weird.
"It's okay! I can play with you here!"
He smiled. Reo smiled back.
He and the boy played charades. While Reo could feel his parents eyes on his back, they hadn't said anything, so he decided in his head that it was okay. Reo intentionally chose animals and objects that didn't require much movement to get across. He could still play, but his parents wouldn't label it as too uncivil.
Reo acted out the movements of a sloth, and the boy had guessed it fairly quickly. Reo pouted, but the pout was soon replaced with a giant smile when the boy began acting out a penguin, waddling back and forth. Reo doubled over with laughter, and the boy had began laughing too. That's when Reo's parents decided to step in. His mother was quickly by his side, grabbing his wrist and dragging him off to the side. Reo watched with wide eyes as his father spoke something to the boy. He heard the boy's supposed mother call "Kenyu!" as he was dragged away.
"Reo-chan, what was that? You absolutely cannot be laughing like that. Remember your manners?"
His mother scolded. Reo wanted to pout, he really did. He wanted to say "his penguin walk was really funny!" and imitate the boy's animated walk. But, he knew he wouldn't get a good reaction. Of course he wouldn't. It's too uncivil, after all. It wouldn't be a good look. Why Reo was expected to act like an adult at the ripe old age of 7? He didn't know.
In the mirror behind his mother, he pouted at his reflection. His reflection pouted back.
-Penguins are funny, mama is just silly.-
Reo never liked being angry. He never liked the feeling of wanting to hit somebody, or to hit himself. He never liked the heave of his chest, how he felt out of breath and like he'd burst at any moment. How he'd shudder, how tears would threaten to spill out of his eyes pathetically. He was an angry crier, it was embarrassing. You lose all intimidation immediately. They look at you and laugh, or worse, scoff.
9
It didn't start off this bad. Reo never had too much of a reason to get angry, nevertheless have outbursts, especially at school. One person had decided to piss him off, though. He didn't even remember why he was so upset. He couldn't recall what she had said to him, or what she'd done. He only remembered how he'd suddenly started yelling. His fists clenched, his knuckles turning white. He barely restrained himself from punching her in her stupid face. She had the nerve to be surprised too, to start crying and saying that Reo was bullying her.
They attracted the attention of a teacher. She'd told Reo to calm down, but he was too far gone. He started yelling at her too, and eventually he was being yelled back at. It was too intense. He was too overwhelmed. Way too fast Reo had bolted out of the room and down the hallway. Reo didn't normally sprint down hallways, his classmates watched with confusion as Reo aped towards the bathrooms. He quickly locked himself in a stall, trying to steady his breathing. His chest felt tight, and he wanted to sob as hard as he could. He would just draw more attention to himself, though, so he held it in. He bottled it up, as much as possible.
Soon enough, Reo had calmed down enough to step out the stall. Across from him, at the sinks, was a mirror. Reo stared at his reflection, eyes puffy and eyebrows knit together. He wore an ugly expression, one that was sure to draw even more attention to himself. It wasn't perfect, he had to look perfect. He sighed, relaxing his face. He splashed water in it, then dried himself off with the thin paper towel they kept there. He looked back up, studying his face in the mirror.
-It's fine, I guess... you can still tell I cried, but it's not as obvious.-
Reo left the bathroom calmly. He knew this was far from over, he just had to brace himself for it. For the phone call, for the headmaster's office, for the yelling from his parents. It'd fine, he could deal with it. He might cry a little, but he would be okay. Reo would be okay.
…
…
After school, just as Reo had predicted, his parents arrived. They were clearly upset about having to leave from work. Clearly upset that Reo had made a scene, one bad enough to have the headmaster's office call them. They both began their trek to the headmaster's office, wordlessly demanding Reo to come with them.
"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Mikage. I'm sure you've already been informed why you're here?" The headmaster started, reaching out his hand to shake it with his father's. Reo was sat in the middle of them on an uncomfortable wooden chair, since only two of the cushy seats were available. Reo's father nodded, and his mother spoke. "Yes, we've heard that Reo-chan was acting up."
The headmaster sighed, tapping a stack of papers on the desk and putting them aside.
"Yes. Mikage was seen yelling at a classmate. Mrs. Tendo had to put a stop to it before it got too far."
His father's glare was on him.
"She described it as 'he seemed like he was struggling internally if she should actually hit her'." he recalled. "Although, I'm sure he wouldn't have hit her, for it to get to that point is worrying." The headmaster leaned in, voice quiet.
"Does Mikage need to see a counselor? His emotions are quite intense, even when it's not anger. It's abnormal."
Abnormal?
He's abnormal?
What makes him say that...?
Reo is not abnormal. He may not be normal, per se, but he's not abnormal. That's mean. It's unnecessary, and Reo feels his features twist into a frown. His father cast him a look, as if to say "quiet, Reo". As if telling him to shut up before he'd even said a single word. Instead of a comprehensible sentence, Reo just whimpered quietly. He didn't want to cry again, he already had a headache. But to be called abnormal, and so casually, as if Reo wasn't right in front of them. As if Reo couldn't hear them. As if Reo was deaf and stupid. As of Reo was abnormal...
"Reo does not need a counselor."
He got quite the scolding at home.
"How do you think our partners and future partners would react if they knew that the Mikages' son was a piece of shit, huh, Reo?"
"Nothing in the world should have made you lash out like that, Reo-chan. It will give us a horrible reputation. You wouldn't want that, would you?"
He wanted to say he wouldn't care. He really wanted to. Deep down, though, he knew that wasn't true. He didn't care about the company's reputation. But his own...
He think he might care too much.
Reo never had any real friends. His entire worth was being linked to being a Mikage. Nobody cares about Reo, they only cared about Mikage. His wealth, his appearance, the opportunities that arise solely from being associated with him. So many people would do so much to get to that wealth. Greedy classmates, creepy teachers, selfish neighbors. Nobody wanted Reo. Nobody truly loved Reo.
12
Reo was very tried one morning. As he sleepily walked through the halls, waving to acquaintances left and right, he spotted a group of people near his locker. They were laughing, throwing arms over each other and poking each other playfully.
"That seems nice..." Reo thought. He was never particularly touchy, but seeing friends all over each other made him slightly jealous.
A lot of people would say Reo had a lot of friends. A lot of people were jealous, and wished to be in his position.
Of course, Reo was grateful for what he had. He knew that there were much less fortunate people out there. People who weren't only more financially unfortunate, but also more unfortunate when it comes to family. Reo may have awful parents, but there were people with worse. There was people who had less than Reo...so why was he jealous of those people? Why was he jealous of the people with less money, less extravagant lives? Less of a defined future waiting for them, maybe even one they were scared of? He envied his classmates who had loving parents. He seethed with jealousy whenever he'd watch a classmate's mother hug them, or their father give them a kiss on the forehead.
Jealous. He was so jealous. So incredibly jealous.
Reo wanted friends. Reo wanted people who cared about him for who he is. Why is that so hard to ask for?
Feeling a bit sad, Reo opened his locker. He watched as a white envelope slowly fluttered to the ground. "Eh...?" Reo bent down to pick it up. Once he stood back up, he stared at it, then at his locker.
-I think this was sent to the wrong person.-
He thought. Looking closer, he saw it was addressed "To: Uzuki Korone"
-Yeah, definitely not me.-
Reo sighed. He looked towards the students laughing next to them and decided to ask.
"Hi, sorry, do you know who Uzuki Korone is? Where can I find him, if you do?"
They all went silent, but one of them spoke.
"Oh, he should be in his classroom right now. Class 1-B."
"What does he look like?"
"Dark red dreadlocks and green eyes."
She replied, seemingly uninterested. Reo nodded, thanking her and waving as he walked away. She barely waved back.
The classroom was mostly empty, save for a boy in the back corner of the room. He perfectly fit the girl's description.
"Hi, I think this is for you. It was in my locker..."
Reo trailed off as the boy looked up at him from where he sat. He tilted his head and took the envelope. He opened it, read the letter inside, pulled out 700 yen, then laughed.
"Thank you...Mikage!" He smiled, squinting when he read the student ID around Reo's neck.
"My friend and I made a bet on who would die in a cartoon we watch! He hadn't watched the episode when I did, so I was just waiting for his response, ahaha! He's so dramatic, sending a whole letter like that!"
The boy rambled on. Reo didn't mind listening, but he suddenly realized he needed to get to his class.
"Thanks for talking with me!" Reo smiled at Uzuki. The boy innocently tilted his head. "Eh? Why would you thank me for that?" he asked. Reo opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again.
Why did he thank him for that?
Reo shook his head, smiled awkwardly, and left in a hurry.
…
…
"Father, why doesn't anyone want to be my friend for real?"
Reo asked, fiddling with his fingers behind his back. His father was busy working on his laptop and barely payed him any mind.
"Why do you care? You're a Mikage. You're doing that 'I need to use the restroom' dance, go before you piss yourself."
Reo pouted. He's not 5 anymore, he doesn't need to be told to use the restroom...but he went anyways, because he did need to use the restroom. As he finished washing his hands, he looked in the mirror. Of course, his reflection stared back as it always did. He hadn't suddenly turned into a vampire overnight. He didn't like the look in his eyes, though. He was starting to look like his parents, cold and icy.
-I don't want to look like them.-
Reo didn't get crushes very often. In fact, the first time he did he hadn't even realized it. Romantic love wasn't something Reo had actively pursued, especially not at the time. Even then, he had thoughts sometimes. He had thought about finding a boy- girlfriend. He'd thought about marrying her, then overtaking his father's company. Maybe she'd be someone who loved him for him, someone who he was genuinely interested in, and she was genuinely interested in him. It was wishful thinking though, because, of course, Reo's parents didn't want anything that he really wanted. That meant he wouldn't get it.
14
"Have you heard? Yuu-chan has a crush on Mikage!"
"Eehh? Really? I wanted to confess first!"
"No way! If he accepted anyone's confession, it'd be me!"
"Ugh, let's not argue over some stupid boy. He's just a pretty cash cow, that's basically all there is to him."
"Yeah! If he accepts one of us, it'd still work out okay. We can still give gifts and money to each other."
"Yeah, maybe we should make friends with Yuu-chan just in case she confesses too!"
"Wouldn't that be kinda shallow?"
"Our reason for liking Mikage in the first place is kinda shallow. It doesn't matter, anyway. We have to look out for each other, you know~"
Reo should have felt sick to his stomach, he thought. In reality, though, he didn't really care. He was used to being treated like a possession at this point. He was slightly unsettled that he'd come to this realization, that he was fine with being treated like a trophy, a piggy bank...it doesn't matter. He wished, just a little, that he could crawl into a hole. That he could bury himself deep within the earth and never return.
There's one person though. One person that Reo found interesting. One person who entertained him just a little bit. Who didn't back away when Reo's mask cracked a little. Who Reo wasn't afraid to be touchy with.
Reo thought Sukuna was special.
On his way to his classroom, though, he overheard yet another conversation.
"Mikage's really clingy. It's kinda weird, right?"
Reo nearly interrupted their chat, but something in the back of his head told him to listen.
"Ah, I guess so."
Sukuna. That's Sukuna. Reo's heart skipped a beat. It wasn't a definitive answer...maybe he was just agreeing because he was uncomfortable.
"Yeah, he's always close to you, isn't he? Do you think he's... y'know...?"
The boy made a vague gesture with his hands. Reo didn't know what he meant, but apparently Sukuna did.
"I didn't really think of that.. he is really touchy, huh? If I recall, he even buries his head in my shoulder when we hug. He blushed once too."
"Eww...I didn't think Mikage of all guys would be gay, but the way you describe him really sounds like it."
Gay? Reo wasn't gay, he knew he wasn't. Well, he thought he wasn't. The more he thought about it, the more he felt grossed out. Was Reo gay? Was it really that weird, though..? It's just loving someone, what's wrong with it..? Reo shook his head. He trusted Sukuna. Maybe he was just agreeing to get out of the conversation quicker.
He was wrong.
Sukuna started to avoid him. Reo would wave to him in the hallway and only receive a wary glare. He'd throw his arms around Sukuna and he'd push him off and walk away. Why...? Why...?! What did he do wrong this time?!? Why was the only person who seemed to care about him avoiding him like he carried a plague?! Did he actually hate him now...? Was being gay really that bad...?
…
…
"Mother..."
Reo's mother slowly cracked open the door of her and his father's shared room. "What is it, Reo-kun? It's nearly 8 PM, you have to go to bed soon."
Reo was gripping his sweater and fiddling with the hem of it. She sighed, opened the door fully, and stepped out. "If there's something important you want to talk about, wait until your father arrives."
Reo waited and waited. Eventually, his father arrived. He had nearly forgotten what he even came here for.
"My friend... he stopped talking to me...he said I'm weird and clingy and touchy..."
Neither of them had a shred of sympathy in their gaze.
"Your affection is too overwhelming, Reo. You should reserve that type of affection for your wife."
Reo flinched... of course, he'd seen pretty girls. He'd been attracted to girls before. He was attracted to guys too...and when he thought about it, in the end, he wanted to marry a man, not a woman. He felt his heart beat out of his chest as he prepared to ask his second question.
"Is...is it weird that I like guys...?"
His parents looked at each other, then back at Reo. His father spoke first.
"Do you...do you mean romantically, Reo?"
Reo blushed and lowered his head. He could feel their judgmental stares burn through his skull.
"Reo, you will not date a man. It is unacceptable, and frankly, quite disrespectful for you to even consider it. Watch yourself. If I catch you with a man, you will be removed from the will. You hear me?"
-I don't give a fuck about your worthless will.-
Reo felt tears prick at his eyes as he fought tooth and nail to keep himself silent while his mother added onto his father's words.
"Reo-kun, do you know how many companies would drop us? How much our stocks would crash? It is disgusting and you should be disgusted with yourself. There's no arguing about this. To bed. Now."
Reo had never turned around so quickly. He had never walked so quickly. He had never felt such crushing despair. He knew they didn't care about him. He was okay with that. Now, they are disgusted with him...? He was disgusted with himself too.
He entered his bathroom, preparing to take a shower. He stared at himself in the mirror. His reflection stared back.
Disgusting.
Reo is disgusting.
Mikage Reo was perfect, now. A perfect possession.
16
Mikage Reo was perfect.
He had a perfect face, a perfect personality, perfect grades, perfect friends, a perfect family, a perfect life.
Mikage Reo was happy. He was perfectly happy.
He was happy. He really was.
He was now perfect. No matter how much he bottles up his feelings. No matter how much he yearned for a real relationship with someone. No matter how much he wished he could just be fucking normal.
Mikage Reo was perfect. Just how his parents wanted him.
Reo still wished for a dream. Every possession he had ever wanted was handed to him on a silver platter. Reo wants just one thing...one thing he can call his own. Something that can't be bought with money. Something that can't be bribed out of someone.
Something that's his.
His own treasure.
…
…
Prepared for his test due to an all nighter, Reo was dropped off at school. It went as usual, for the most part. Girls all over him the second he left the limousine, guys hanging around him. laughing and joking as if they were friends, boring classes with even more boring teachers.
All of it was so boring. So unbelievably boring. So insufferably dull.
-Boring. Boring. Boring. It's all so fucking boring.-
It was only at lunch time did Reo's lack of sleep start to catch up to him. He realized he was more irritable when someone had only said hi and he wanted to sock them in the face.
He can't let this crack. His perfectly crafted persona, he can't let it break. Not in front of anyone, and especially not at school.
Reo quickly excused himself to use the restroom. He decided he could freshen up a bit anyways, it's a win win. Reo entered the bathroom, taking a comb he carried with him out of his pocket. He can't get mad. He can't laugh, or cry, or love or be loved. Reo wasn't Reo anymore. Reo was too much.
When he stared in the mirror, Mikage stared back.
Reo wanted to cry.
He had to smile though. That fake, icy smile his parents gave.
The Mikage Smile, he'd deemed it.
Mikage left the bathroom.