Chapter Text
When Satoru first became a 'dad' dealing with romantic problems was not one of the first thoughts to come to his mind, heck he's sure if he made a top ten lists it wouldn't have even been there.
The point is it never crossed his mind he'd have to deal with romance and love at some time in the kids lives, maybe it was because Tsumiki, Megumi and Yuta were so young when he took them in, that's why he never gave it a thought.
The only problems or dramas he dealt with were extremely childish like separating a fight over the remote, helping with a nightmare, buying the perfect birthday or Christmas gift or childhood trauma like fear of abandonment, really bad nightmares, bullying, those he could handle, it was easy, dealing with romantic on the other hand was not.
The first time the thought registered in his head was when he was talking with Utahime.
Tsumiki had been bringing them drinks and after she went back to her room.
"Tsumiki is a lot bigger than the last time i saw her, how old is she again, twelve right?" Utahime asks while taking a sip of the alcohol she loved so much.
"Yeah" Satoru replies before taking a sip of his juice, (don't judge him, alcohol wasn't his thing)
"Wow, feels like only yesterday she was eight, they grow up really fast?" Utahime says fondly.
Satoru rolls his eyes playfully. "You sound like a mom.. wait i forgot you are the mom" he says enjoying the way Utahime blushed.
"S-shut up" she stutters before clearing her flustered state. "It's just she's almost a teenager and she's very pretty, very soon she'll start getting boy's attention, probably go on dates" Utahime says, clearing imagining situations she never had a chance to experience.
Satoru was about to tease her when her words sank in and he froze in place.
Tsumiki.
His little Tsumiki going on dates and hanging out with boys that weren't Megumi and Yuta.
It made him pissed and nervous, could he really deal with that?
***********************************
Funnily enough it wasn't Tsumiki who first had a relationship issue.
It was Megumi.
Kinda.
He was picking the kids from school, Tsumiki was happily chatting about something that happened at school, Yuta walked next to them in silence (he wasn't a talker)
As Satoru listened to Tsumiki he couldn't help but notice Megumi walking ahead with a deep scowl on his face, obviously looking angry.
Satoru knew something about Megumi, when Megumi was upset his ever present scowl deepened and he never wanted to talk to anyone but if he wanted Satoru to know he was upset and rant to him, he grunted from time to time in annoyance and stomped his feet loudly.
He was doing that now.
Satoru smiled and chuckled a little. "I hear you kid"
After they get home and eat lunch, Satoru decides to ask Megumi what's wrong, especially because he's tired of the eleven year old loud stomping around the house, even Tsumiki and Yuta looked annoyed.
He walks up to Megumi and squats a little. "Ok Gumi tell me what has you so upset?" He asks.
Megumi looks at him with a 'finally' look and immediately launches into a rant like he always does when this happens.
"There's this girl in my class, she keeps staring at me and it's weird, when i tell her to stop she just denies it and looks away and she's always stuttering, i hate it" the eleven year old finished with a rant.
Satoru blinks as Megumi ends his rant, it's very obvious to him what's going on but Megumi doesn't seem to get it, which just reminds Satoru that Megumi is just a little boy no matter how mature he may behave.
He chuckles which only seems to further annoy Megumi.
"Why are you laughing?" He asks with a little angry pout.
"It's obvious what's going on Gumi" he replies.
"What?" Megumi asks. "Stop being cryptic and tell me"
"She's not being weird she just has a little crush on you" Satoru replies then bursts into laughter when he sees Megumi face twist in disgust and his face turn red.
"Crush? Eww what do i do to make it go away?" Megumi asks.
Satoru smiles, he was so innocent.
"There isn't a way to make crushes go away, there's nothing wrong with her liking you buddy, your very cute and cool, even if you are a little grumpy" he says ruffling Megumi's hair as he does so.
Megumi pulls away and glares at him. "But I'm tired of her always staring at me, it's annoying, why she even doing that, if she likes me why not talk to me?" Megumi asks looking annoyed and curious.
Satoru sighs, were all eleven year olds this dense.
"Because she's shy around you, when you like someone it's very hard to talk to them that's why, it doesn't make her weird ok" he explains as gently as he can, he can't believe he's having this conversation with his eleven year old ward, he'd much rather talk about cursed techniques, at least that wouldn't be this exsausting.
"That's a lie your not shy around Utahime" Megumi says, crossing his arms.
Satoru blinks looking confused. "What does she have to do with......" He realizes what Megumi meant and turns red. "I've been telling you for years i don't like Utahime" he says a little flustered.
"Then why are you blushing?" Megumi asks with a little smirk.
Satoru was seriously about to lose his patience with this kid.
He sighs. "Even if i did like Utahime which i don't, it just means I'm different than an elementary school girl, ok there's nothing sus about her she just likes you" Satoru says hoping it'll satisfy Megumi.
"Ok, fine, i guess that makes sense" Megumi says before looking away.
Satoru sighs in relief before smiling. "You know if she's looking at you alot and she's shy maybe you should try talking to her, it might make the staring stop" he suggests.
Megumi thinks for a sec before nodding.
"Ok"
The next day Megumi tells him about how the conversation with the girl who's name is apparently Hana went, he's suprised Megumi was actually positive about her and even seemed to like her.
He talks about her a lot after that and he even sees her at Megumi's twelfth birthday, they hang out sometimes at the house, Megumi seemed so friendly with her to the point Satoru starts to think she might become Megumi's first girlfriend.
He can't help but pat himself on the back for making it happen, he was good at romance talk so far.
But then Megumi starts middle school and never speaks of her.
It confuses Satoru considering how close they were so he decides to ask.
"Hey Megumi" he calls.
Megumi who was getting a drink from the fridge stops and looks at him.
"What?" He answers.
"What happened to Hana? You don't talk about her anymore"
"She moved to America to live with someone, last time i saw her was elementary school graduation" he replies.
She moved? Why didn't Megumi tell him and why the hell did he not look sad like at all, wasn't she his friend? crush?
"She moved?" He asks. "Why don't you look sad then, didn't you like have a crush on her?" He asks.
Megumi rolls his eyes. "No, she was a friend but we weren't super close or anything, and besides her crush on me was annoying, I'm not gonna cry over a girl i knew less than a year" Megumi replies before heading to his room.
Satoru slumps against his chair, he was rooting for them too.
"At least i don't have to comfort him over a broken heart" he says to himself, trying to find a positive.
★
It honestly surprises Satoru when Megumi is the one to come to him with a romantic related problem again.
He's in his room putting like the fourth spoon of sugar into his tea (definitely his last, he swears) when Megumi shows up, fiddling with his thumbs and blushing slightly.
Satoru's interest is Immediately peaked at that, he gives his full attention to the twelve year old.
"What's up Gumi?" He asks.
Megumi looks away. "I want to get a lead roll in my school play"
Satoru is confused. "Ok, and-?" He asking waiting for Megumi to elaborate.
"I'm not good at acting, my teacher says I'm too stiff but i need to get the roll so i want you to practice with me" Megumi says with a very serious expression.
"Me?" He asks. "And since when are you interested in acting and plays?"
Megumi flushes redder and looks down. "I've always been interested" he mumbles.
Yeah right, Satoru knew a lie when he smelt it.
"Megumi if you want my help, you need to tell me what's bothering you" he says.
Megumi looks at him. "It's because of Yuki" he says.
Satoru nods. "And Yuki is?"
"A really great boy in my class, he wants to be in the play so i want to do it too so i can get closer to him" Megumi says, at this point his face is very red, he looked so adorable Satoru wanted to squeeze his cheeks.
"Aww my little Megumi has a crush how adorable" Satoru cooes, honestly he's suprised Megumi of all people has an actual crush, and he's going to take his time teasing him.
"S-shut up" Megumi says looking embarrassed.
"It's so adorable, i bet you make heart eyes at him all day at school don't you?" He asks teasingly.
"S-stop I'm warning you" Megumi says with a glare.
"Megumi and Yuki sitting on a tree k-i-s....." He stops when he sees tears gathering in Megumi's eyes.
"Your a jerk, i know i should have asked Tsumiki" Megumi screams before covering his face and running off.
Satoru heart drops, he's fucked up, seeing the tears in Megumi's eyes make him feel bad, he needs to apologize.
"M-megumi wait" he says as he runs after him.
He knocks on Megumi's shared room with Yuta and Yuta comes out, looking disappointed.
"Whatever you did to Megumi, you better fix it" Yuta says before leaving the room for the two of them.
Megumi sat facing the wall, wiping his tears.
Satoru sighs and sits on the side of Megumi's bed.
"Gumi I'm really sorry" he says and he means it too. Megumi wasn't very open about his emotions yet he chose to tell Satoru about his crush and instead of being supportive he teased him, he feels like such a bad person.
When Megumi doesn't reply he sighs. "I shouldn't have teased you about your crush, that was really mean, i just wanted to joke a little, i really didn't mean to hurt you" he says sincerely.
Megumi sniffles a little. "That was pretty mean of you, making fun of a kid like that" Megumi says.
"I know, I'm sorry, i promise i won't do it again" he says, hoping Megumi will forgive him.
Megumi turns to him then. "I might have overacted a little, i just haven't had a crush before so it really affected me, i really just want Yuki to like me" Megumi says honestly, his ears red.
Satoru looks suprised but happy, he likes when Megumi is honest with him.
"You don't have to do something you don't like to get Yuki to like you, just be yourself" Satoru says.
"What if he doesn't like me, I'm boring and a buzzkill and.... I'm just not that interesting" Megumi says before looking away.
Satoru frowns, that wasn't true.
"Megumi your not boring and yeah sure sometimes you can be a stick in the mud and a little grumpy but your definitely interesting, your a nice and strong and caring person and anyone should like you for that and if they don't, then they don't deserve you" he says and he means every word of it, he didn't want Megumi looking down on himself because of some boy.
Megumi looks at him and smiles. "Really?"
Satoru smiles. "Yes i do, just be yourself ok"
Megumi smiles wider and hugs Satoru. "Ok i will, thanks Gojo"
He returns the hug.
"Anytime kid"
After that day Megumi comes home everyday with stories about Yuki and how awesome he is, talking about the boy constantly with hearts in his eyes, he even gets to meet Yuki a few times and the boy seemed nice enough even if his protective dad side still told him he'd rip the boy's spinal cord out if he hurt Megumi but still he was happy because Megumi was happy.
Untill he wasn't.
It's a Saturday night and Megumi was supposed to be at a sleepover at Yuki's house, Tsumiki and Yuta were already asleep so Satoru just sat in the living room flipping through channels in boredom when Megumi suddenly opened the door which startles Satoru.
"Megumi i thought you were at Yuki's house, what happened? Why are you here?" He asks.
Megumi ignores his questions and runs up to him and hugs him and it's when he feels liquid hit his shirt does he realize Megumi is crying and then he's on high alert.
He pets Megumi head softly as the boy silently sobs into his chest.
"What's wrong Gumi? Why are you crying?" He asks worriedly, Megumi hardly cried, if it were Yuta he wouldn't be too worried because that boy was a avid cryer but this was Megumi so he was very worried.
"It's Yuki, he's a jerk" Megumi says, Satoru fumes, that asshole made Megumi cry.
"What happened?" He asks, trying to keep his emotions in check.
"He asked why i lived with you and when i told him he said i wasn't normal because i didn't have a mom and because you weren't my biological dad that we couldn't be friends anymore because i didn't come from a normal family" Megumi says in-between sobs.
Satoru blood boils, that asshole.
"Megumi" he says, the twelve year old looks up at him. "Yuki is an inconsiderate asshole who doesn't deserve your friendship, judging someone because of how they live is wrong, you shouldn't cry over him, he doesn't deserve to be friends with you" he says sounding angry.
Megumi looks away from his gaze. "I really liked him" he mumbles.
Satoru gaze softens. "I know but all crushes don't work out, he showed you his true face, you don't deserve that ok buddy" he says, he knew romance, love and crushes were going to cause problems but he hadn't thought about how much hurt they'd bring his kids, he can tell this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Megumi looks at him. "Your right, i shouldn't cry over Yuki, he isn't worth my time" he says, Satoru smiles and wipes Megumi tears.
"That's good to hear buddy, would you like some warm milk?" He asks.
Megumi just nods.
Satoru smiles again, he sucks at romance but he's always been great at giving his kids comfort.
Megumi never speaks of Yuki again after that.
Satoru doesn't get the chance to break the boy's spinal cord unfortunately.
★
Satoru wasn't really sure he'd be dealing with any other romantic situation involving Megumi again especially because the boy was busy being a sorcerer and wasn't very social in general but it happened when he was least expecting it.
He's just sitting in his office, ignoring the messages he's getting from the higher ups about Yuji's execution when the boy himself walks in with the look of a kicked puppy.
"Gojo sensei?" The pink haired teen calls.
Satoru looks at him with a smile. "Hi Yuji do you need something and why do you look so sad?" He asks, he doesn't know why but he feels fatherly towards Yuji for some reason especially because the boy's life was in danger of being taken away from him.
Yuji blushes. "Sensei i think Fushiguro hates me" He says with a sullen look.
Satoru looks taken aback, Megumi vouched against him being killed, he most definitely did not hate Yuji unless Satoru's missing something.
"Megumi? No offcourse not, what makes you say that?" He asks, curious as to why Yuji would come to that conclusion.
"Because he's been avoiding me for weeks now, he only talks to me when we have a mission, every other time he acts like i don't exist" He says.
Satoru laughs and leans back in his chair. "He's just not social"
Yuji shakes his head. "No he still talks to Kugisaki and the second years normaly, it's just me he's avoiding, he definitely hates me" the boy says looking upset.
Okay that was a little weird but there's no way Megumi hates Yuji, Yuji is so nice and Megumi wouldn't be the kind of person to hate someone so sweet, he knew the kid, he loved Tsumiki and Yuta after all.
"Can you please talk to him and find out what i did to offend him, please since your kinda his dad" Yuji begs.
Satoru looks surprised and raises an eyebrow, who told Yuji that, since he knows it most definitely wasn't Megumi and he doesn't remember telling him or Nobara that.
"Who told you that?" He asks.
"Oh, it was Maki senpai, she said Okkotsu senpai told her you raised he and Fushiguro and his sister which i had no idea about since he was like six, i also had no idea Fushiguro and Okkotsu grew up together, you could never tell from how he spoke about him so formally, but yeah that's how i know" Yuji replies.
Satoru smiled. "Ok"
"So will you talk to him? please Gojo sensei" Yuji asks doing sad eyes.
He couldn't say no to that face.
"Ok i will but I'm sure it's nothing" he replies, Yuji's eyes light up and he smiles.
"Thanks sensei your the best" Yuji says before running out of the room.
Satoru smiles before frowning, did Megumi really not like Yuji?
**********************************
Megumi walks into his dorm room only to find a shadow standing by his bed. "What's over-" his sentence is interrupted by Satoru jumping out of the dark room.
"Megumi chan finally your back" Satoru announces, Megumi jumps back at Satoru's loud announcement.
"Are you crazy Gojo, you could've given me a heart attack" the fifteen year old boy says with a glare.
Satoru laughs. "Aww come on, you used to love it when you were little"
Megumi glares harder. "I never did you nutjob"
Satoru laughs harder, Megumi walks passed him.
"Why are you here anyway?" Megumi asked.
Satoru takes a seat on his bed. "I wanted to talk to you about something"
"What?" Megumi asks.
"Why have you been avoiding Yuji?" Satoru asked, not wasting anytime.
Megumi ears and cheeks turn red and he looks away. "I-i don't know what you're talking about" he stutters.
Satoru raises an eyebrow. "I think you do, Yuji told me your ignoring him and refuse to acknowledge his existence, and i know Yuji isn't lying heck i even asked Nobara to confirm and she agreed, so what's up?" Satoru asked.
"Wow would you look at the time, i have to go to bed, see you tomorrow" Megumi says, sweating.
Now Satoru definitely knew something was up, Megumi only did this when he got nervous.
"Megumi what's going on?"
"Nothing" the boy responds.
"Then why are you avoiding Yuji?"
"I'm not"
"You are"
"I'm not, can you leave now" Megumi says trying to pull him out of his room but his infinity stops it.
"Yuji thinks you hate him that's why you're avoiding him, do you hate him?" Satoru asks.
Megumi freezes.
"He thinks i hate him?" Megumi asks.
"Yup, told me this afternoon" Satoru replies.
Megumi sits on his bed, a guilty look on his face. "I didn't mean for this to happen" he mumbles.
Satoru looks at Megumi curousily. "Do you hate him?"
Megumi snaps his head to look at his guardian. "Offcourse not, i could never hate Itadori, he's nice and funny and goofy but still manages to be cute and his smile can probably light up a Christmas tree and not to mention he's very handsome and......." Megumi pauses realizing all of what he just said before turning bright red and looking at his fingers. "He's a nice guy" he mumbles.
A light bulb goes of in Satoru's head as he finally registered what was going on.
Megumi had a crush on Yuji.
A grin spreads across Satoru's face, he'd promised Megumi he wouldn't tease him about his crushes but that was when he was little, he's sure he could handle it now.
Just a little, he'll only do one.
"Does my little Megumi chan have a crush on Yuji" Satoru says in a sing song voice.
Megumi turns extremely red but instead of denying like Satoru was expecting the boy mumbles a yes.
"Oh well that was easy" Satoru says surprised, slightly disappointed he couldn't get a rise out of him
Megumi sighs. "You already figured it out so there's no point in denying it"
"Ok so your ignoring Yuji because you like him and your shy?" Satoru asked.
Megumi looks at his hands. "Yeah i guess" he replies.
"What's the other reason?" He asks, knowing Megumi, that can't be just it.
Megumi looks surprised but still speaks. "Also he's practically a walking corpse I'm afraid.... I'm afraid I'll get attached and he'll die and then I'll be heartbroken" He admits, looking sullen.
He figured that would be it, Satoru sighs and hugs Megumi from the side, he's pleasantly surprised when Megumi doesn't pull away.
"Don't worry Gumi, nothing bad is going to happen to Yuji, I'll die before i let anyone lay a finger on him, your just a kid you shouldn't be afraid of having a crush on him and you definitely shouldn't avoid him because your really making him sad, you should have seen him poor kid looked like a kicked puppy" Satoru says, Megumi chuckled a little at his comment.
"I hate it when your right, i was being very stupid by avoiding Itadori, I'll apologize to him tomorrow" Megumi says with a small smile.
Satoru smiled too. "I'm happy to hear that, also i think you should ask him to hang out one on one, I'm sure he likes you too, he was very upset thinking you hated him" Satoru says nudging Megumi a little.
Megumi blushes red again. "S-shut up old man" he grumbles despite looking like he's actually considering the option.
Satoru chuckles, feeling good for being able to help Megumi, he's not the best at giving romantic advice, but he thinks he's pretty decent.
The next day he receives a text from Megumi.
Megumi chan: i asked Itadori to go bowling with me and he agreed, thanks for the advice.
He smiles widely and quickly types a reply.
Satoru: anytime kid.