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“I shouldn’t be too long,” Binah said as she pulled up to Rosewood Bar & Lounge, “the band should be getting off at any moment now, and my interview with Percy shouldn’t take too long.”
Lottie shrugged as she and Binah stepped out of the bright yellow vehicle Binah named Bumblebee. “No problem, I love live music; it’s the whole reason I want to check out this place. I’ve never been here before.”
“It’s a nice spot,” Binah said, and Lottie followed her to the front door. “From what I’ve heard, their live music selections are great. I sometimes get together with my study group here—that’s where I first saw their line-up for who’s playing every week.”
They stepped inside the building and Lottie was met with light wood tones. To their immediate left was the bar where a handful of people were on the stools, casually sipping their drinks and snacking on fries. Throughout the floor, tables and booths were scattered around and, to the far right, there was a slightly elevated stage where a band was quickly packing up their equipment.
“There’s Percy Butter,” Binah said, nodding her head in the direction of the stage. “The guitarist.”
The boy who was Percy looked tired—or maybe he always looked like that—as he was putting away his acoustic guitar and Lottie glanced at his bandmates. Two of them looked like twins with bright blonde hair and the other was a girl with a white hijab.
Binah bounced on the balls of her feet and produced her video recorder out of her canvas bag along with a notebook and pencil. “I’ll be back soon,” she told Lottie before rushing off to interview Percy for her undergraduate thesis.
Lottie found a spot in the middle of the floor with a clear view of the stage. Rosewood Bar & Lounge was doing a sort of month-long event where, for two or three hours a day, different bands would take the stage for an hour every week. Percy’s folk-pop band, called Sweet Tooth, was the first of the day. The band was apparently quite popular and Percy himself often busy, so the time after playing at Rosewood was the best time for Binah to interview him.
As soon as Binah, who was her roommate, told her about it and the live music, Lottie asked if she could tag along. Not to the interview, of course (Lottie wouldn’t be able to understand it anyway; she didn’t know BSL), but to just hear whatever music would be playing. Live music was something Lottie had always enjoyed.
When she had been a kid, music in general always had to be on. With music in the background, Lottie would imagine herself in movies. When she cleaned, she was Cinderella; when she was riding in a car, she was at the sad part of a movie where the couple was separated. Then, when she started hearing live music—buskers on the streets, marching bands when she was still in highschool, among other places—it was something so different. It was intoxicating to feel the vibrations and how clear everything was, unhindered by speakers or headphones.
Lottie glanced down at the flier that was taped to the table alongside the menu, where it read that a group called Howl at the Moon was next.
Once Sweet Tooth was off the stage, a group of three started unpacking their gear. A brown-skinned boy took up the drum kit, looking unnaturally serious. His eyes surveyed the crowd, and Lottie met his gaze for a split second before he passed over her to look at the rest of the people talking amongst themselves at their tables.
There was another dark-skinned girl with a mass of blonde hair who was tuning her bass guitar. She was muttering to the other girl on stage, a pale girl with dark makeup and even darker hair. She had an electric guitar strapped around her person.
When the group was ready, the girl with the dark makeup took to the microphone. “Hey everyone,” she greeted, and her eyes glanced side-to-side at her audience.
Lottie discreetly looked around to see that nobody was really paying much attention. A group of men in suits at the bar were arguing over something, and a group of older women that were sharing a large order of fries were laughing at some joke or story. Smaller groups of people were scattered around, mostly in their own little bubbles. Lottie supposed that was the point of playing at a place like this: the low stakes in knowing that nobody was really giving you their undivided attention. Still, Lottie felt slightly bad and she met the girl’s gaze and clapped a couple of times.
The electric guitarist gave a thankful smile in Lottie’s direction before continuing on. “We’re Howl at the Moon. I’m Ellie, that’s Saskia,” she gestured to the bassist, “and that’s Jamie,” she pointed a thumb back at the serious boy behind the drums. She gave another smile, a little more wolfish than before, and said, “hope you enjoy.”
Howl at the Moon was clearly a type of rock group with a heavy drumbeat and intense lyrics. If people weren’t paying attention before, they now couldn’t help themselves but be mesmerized by Ellie’s lyrics and raspy tone, Saskia’s backup and harmonies that didn’t sound like they should have worked but did, and Jamie’s unrelenting beat.
Lottie’s eyes couldn’t look away from Ellie, whose eyes were closed for 80% of the song, her fingers flying about the strings with defiant purpose. She was wearing a leather jacket and dark jeans, her black guitar glittering in the spotlight.
All too soon, the song came to an end, and Lottie found her mouth to be dry. All around, there was polite clapping, but Lottie couldn’t believe the tepid feedback and enthusiastically applauded before standing up to get a glass of something from the bar.
The band started playing another song, faster than the last, and when Lottie returned to her table with a glass of lemonade, her foot was tapping and her head was bobbing along to the beat.
Only at the thirty minute mark, when Howl at the Moon took a five minute break, did Lottie tear her eyes away from Ellie. She pulled out her phone and went to Instagram, hoping the band had an official page.
She found it quite easily. Their page was filled with pictures, even though the first one was dated only three months ago. Most of the pictures were behind the scenes of gigs they booked or band excursions—it seemed like the three were already friends before the band got together. There were a handful of pictures and videos that had nothing to do with music: beach pictures with Ellie slathering on sunscreen, at an ice rink with Saskia doing little twirls and jumps, and one that seemed to be at a diner with Saskia and Ellie hovering over a milkshake with two straws.
Lottie wondered if Saskia and Ellie were a couple, and her heart dropped just slightly. Instantly, she turned her phone off (an embarrassing imaginary scenario where Ellie spotted her stalking their Instagram profile passing through her mind), and took a long sip of lemonade to cool her body and mind. What was she even thinking? Did it even matter if Ellie and Saskia were girlfriends or not? Ellie was way too cool to like someone like her.
Binah plopped herself in the seat opposite of Lottie, blocking her view of the stage. Probably for the best, she thought to herself.
“How was the music?” Binah asked.
“Amazing. How was the interview?”
Binah pushed up her circular glasses that were slipping down her nose and said, “Incredibly informative. We talked so much that I only got through half of my questions, so we made plans to meet up here again next week after Sweet Tooth finishes playing.”
“You’re going to have the best thesis ever,” Lottie said with a smile, and stood up from her chair. “Well, are you ready to go? We should probably pick up a couple of groceries on the way home.”
Binah glanced behind her at the stage before turning back to Lottie. “Do you want to stay and listen to the rest of Howl at the Moon’s set? I don’t mind at all.”
A part of Lottie wanted to say yes, to sit and listen for another thirty minutes, but the other part of her didn’t. She had only just seen Ellie perform this one time—they hadn’t even talked to one another!—and yet she found herself disappointed to learn that Ellie and Saskia were maybe dating. She was becoming unnaturally captivated by the band, and not in a good way. Perhaps it was time to quit while she was ahead. “No, it’s fine.”
Binah stared at her oddly before nodding. “Well, alright.”
~~~
A week later, Lottie had mostly talked herself down about the entire thing. Just because two girls shared a milkshake did not mean they were dating, and Lottie was definitely over-thinking it all.
To prove that she was Totally Cool about Howl at the Moon and its lead singer, Lottie joined Binah once again at Rosewood Bar & Lounge while she finished up her interview with Percy.
This time, they showed up fifteen minutes before Sweet Tooth were set to finish in order to listen to their music. Binah told her about the other members of the group. Lola and Mickey, the twins who played the violin and keyboards respectively, and Emelia on the double bass. Occasionally Mickey would put some bells on his shoe to add some percussion while he tapped his foot. Percy watched the other boy’s foot to stay on beat.
Emelia and Mickey seemed to be the main singers—their voices meshing together nicely—Lola occasionally piping up every now again. Lola herself swayed her body as she played, her entire self rising and falling with her bow.
Once they finished their set, Binah jumped up from the table. “I’ll be back,” she said with a smile before heading up to the stage to wait for Percy to finish packing up with his band.
Almost immediately after Binah got up, Ellie filled the same seat. She was wearing almost the same outfit as last time, except for one minor change: a rainbow pin attached to her leather jacket. “You’re back again this week,” she commented.
Lottie’s heart thumped at the sight of Ellie sitting in front of her, talking to her. “Shouldn’t you be with your bandmates?” Lottie said.
Ellie shrugged and leaned back in the chair. “I still have a couple more minutes left.” The other girl inspected Lottie for a second before saying, “I’m Ellie Wolf.”
Of course, Lottie knew this already but she nodded like she didn’t. “Lottie Pumpkin,” she told Ellie. “Your band is really good.” At that moment, all refined compliments were missing from her head.
“Thanks,” Ellie said, and she smiled genuinely—like that time last week when Lottie had been the only one clapping. “You didn’t stay for the second half though. I was kinda disappointed.”
“Oh well—” Lottie stumbled, trying to think of something to say.
“Hey, don’t worry, I’m not mad about it. You were probably busy and stuff. How long are you planning to stay this time?” There was hope in Ellie’s eyes that would have had Lottie’s knees going weak, had she been standing.
“I suppose it depends,” Lottie said slowly. “My roommate, Binah, is interviewing Percy Butter for her undergrad thesis. That’s why I was here last week.” She turned her gaze to the side of the room that was the furthest away from the stage where Binah and Percy were rapidly signing, a little video recording propped up on the table to document both of their hands. Shifting back around to look at Ellie once again, Lottie said, “Maybe I’ll persuade her to stay to listen to the second half of your set.” She could feel a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
Ellie’s smile grew. “I’d like that.”
There was a slight pause in the conversation which Ellie filled by asking, “are you also studying anything?”
“Oh! Yeah,” Lottie nodded. “I’m currently doing an English major, although I’m contemplating switching to a folklore major because I took a course last semester and really enjoyed it. Fairy tales, especially. Or maybe a double major, I still don’t know.” Lottie could tell she was rambling, but Ellie didn’t seem put off by it.
“Wow, a double major sounds intense.”
Lottie shrugged, feeling her face becoming even more pink. “I’m sure it will be a lot, but I’m used to it. What about you, though?”
Ellie shook her head, suddenly looking a little embarrassed. “Taking a gap year, well it’s not really a gap year anymore. I’m just currently trying to get Howl at the Moon off the ground a little more. I’m in awe at everybody in post-secondary; I have no clue what I want to do for a job.”
“You don’t have to have your whole life planned out—maybe you could go to music school.” Lottie decided not to bring up Binah, who legitimately did have a road map for her future: dipping into the social sciences before getting into the sciences to eventually have a job in the medical field. “You don’t even have to go to post-secondary at all. I went because I was interested in it and my mother, who could never afford to go, really wanted me to even though she never pushed too hard.” Lottie smiled at the memory of her mother, wondering vaguely if bringing up her dead mother was the right move when meeting a new crush.
But before Ellie could say anything, a voice shouted over the din of the room. “Ellie!” The serious boy—Jamie—was waving her over. “Come and tune.”
“Well,” Ellie said, standing up. “Duty calls. It’s really nice to meet you and get to know you a little more.” She turned around and walked over to where Jamie was holding up her guitar by its neck.
Next to Jamie was Saskia, and she was embracing a long-haired brunette girl. Lottie watched intently as the girl turned around and sat at a two-seat table three feet from the stage. Lottie couldn’t see the other girl’s face, but she could see as Saskia gave a discreet wink in the brunette’s direction.
Maybe not dating after all, Lottie thought to herself, and a smile slowly formed on her face.
The first half of Howl at the Moon’s set was pretty similar to the previous week, although there were a couple of new ones added in. Occasionally, Lottie and Ellie’s eyes would meet and they’d share a little smile before both pretending it didn’t happen.
At the half hour mark when the band took their break, Binah came back again. She stretched her fingers and cracked her wrists a little. “A successful interview,” she said, sitting down across from Lottie.
“Do you mind if we stay until this band gets off?” Lottie asked, and she found herself to be nervous even though she knew Binah likely wouldn’t say no.
“Of course not,” Binah said. “You like this band, don’t you?” There was something about her tone that made Lottie think her roommate knew more than what Lottie was letting on, which was definitely not an uncommon occurrence.
Lottie shrugged, trying to keep her cool. “Yeah.”
Binah didn’t press which, again, was usual for her, and Lottie was forever grateful for.
The second half of Howl at the Moon’s set was completely new to Lottie, and a slower song was thrown in.
“Rock ballad,” Binah muttered absentmindedly, bent over her notebook as she transcribed her and Percy’s interview. “A great way to switch it up.”
The last thirty minutes seemed to fly by, and Lottie was quite disappointed the hour was up. It surely hadn’t felt like an hour, more like a blip in time.
Lottie watched as Ellie thanked the crowd before beginning to pack up her instrument along with her bandmates. The brunette girl stood up and was instantly at Saskia’s side, and Lottie couldn’t help but think she was incredibly beautiful. The two of them radiated power couple.
Another band was waiting at the sidelines, a couple—a man dressed very much like a cowboy, the woman looking emo with long, black, hair and a black dress. Lottie glanced down to see the band’s name, which was just a symbol looking like a mix between a peace sign, an octagon, and an asperand. Maybe the two of them were some experimental group, meshing country and punk music together.
“I can see why you like them,” Binah said, stretching her arms back and above her head. “Do you want to go up and talk to Ellie again? I’m in no rush to get back home.”
Another blush dusted Lottie’s cheeks. There really was nothing that could get past Binah. “Actually, I think I might.” Seeing Saskia and the brunette being flirty with one another boosted her confidence of maybe asking for Ellie’s number. She wasn’t used to being so direct; she would rather reach out through Instagram, but Ellie didn’t seem to have a personal one.
“Good luck,” Binah said, a knowing smile on her face.
Lottie nervously shuffled up to the stage, in search of Ellie, but couldn’t find her anywhere. The cowboy-emo couple were on stage now, playing some kind of electro-tech music. The cowboy was playing around with a synthesizer while the woman was humming some kind of melody into the mic. But Ellie, and the rest of Howl at the Moon, was nowhere to be seen.
“She’s gone,” Lottie said, as she returned to her table.
Binah’s head popped up from her translating, brow furrowed. She surveyed the room before nodding her head in the direction of the stage. “There’s another exit door to the left of the stage. They must have left that way.”
Lottie’s heart sank. “Oh.” She had hoped Ellie would stick around a little longer to chat with her again.
“Perhaps they have another gig to go to,” Binah said, clearly seeing the disappointment on Lottie’s face. “Maybe the only time she could talk to you was before her band started playing.”
Binah’s logic helped her a little, and Lottie nodded her head. “Yeah. That’s possible.”
~~~
Lottie went to Rosewood Bar & Lounge the next week and the week after, hoping to talk to Ellie. But Ellie was always in intense conversation with Jamie or Saskia at the beginning, middle, and end of the set. Then, she would rapidly leave through the back exit before Lottie had a chance to say anything. No time seemed right and Lottie didn’t want to interrupt important conversations among bandmates. She also didn’t want to try to talk to someone who was so clearly trying to avoid her.
And then the weekly Howl at the Moon performances at Rosewood were over. The month was over. Occasionally, Lottie would get notifications from the band’s Instagram that they were playing in different areas, but it was almost always a distance away or a private event.
Lottie continued on about her day, trying to forget about Ellie.
~~~
Two months later, Lottie drove to a new part of town. The lawns were neat and impeccably green, the houses large with perfectly pruned trees and shrubbery outside. One of the houses had a circular driveway with a marble fountain in the middle.
Slowly, Lottie found the house she was looking for, a bright red house with a widow’s walk and wrap-around porch. This was the Wilcox’s house, and she was supposed to be tutoring a Raphael here, going over a Shakespeare play.
It was something she started doing recently after her favourite English professor suggested it, saying it would be a good way to earn some money while keeping up with her studies.
Lottie checked the back mirror before parking in the large parking lot, and jolted as she realized Ellie Wolf jogging down the sidewalk. She stuck out like a sore thumb—a black rose among colourful ones.
Lottie wondered if she should lower her window and start up a conversation, but decided against it. She needed to tutor Raphael and, besides, she hadn’t spoken to Ellie since that second week at Rosewood. It would be weird to expect to be remembered; that was so long ago.
Ellie jogged past, earbuds stuck in her ears, and Lottie slowly backed into the Wilcox’s driveway. When she stepped out of her vehicle, Ellie was just a speck in the distance.
An hour and a half later, Raphael walked Lottie to his front door. “Are you feeling better about Richard III?” Lottie asked, sliding on her shoes.
“I still think there are too many repetitive names—I mean, how many Edwards do you need?—but I do think I understand the play a little more. I’m one step closer to becoming a professional actor. You’re a lifesaver, Lottie,” Raphael said, his white teeth gleaming as he smiled brightly. “Will you help me out again? We’re due to read Twelfth Night next week.”
“Oh! That one’s my favourite,” Lottie gushed. “And of course I’ll help.” She opened the door, seeing the orange sky in the horizon and turned back around to face Raphael. “Text me the times you’ll be free, and I’ll get back to you about it.”
Raphael nodded. Then, his eyes lit up, looking past Lottie’s shoulder. “Oi! Ellie!” he exclaimed, waving a hand above his head in greeting.
Lottie spun around so fast she was sure she mildly sprained her neck or something. Sure enough, Ellie was walking down the sidewalk, an earbud out of her ear and dangling down the front of her dark shirt.
Ellie’s head perked up at the sound of her name, and her face became unintelligible as she locked eyes with Lottie.
“She lives just up the street,” Raphael explained to Lottie. Then, louder so Ellie could hear, “you, Jamie, Saskia, and Anastacia don’t have to listen to me whine about Shakespeare anymore. I’ve got a tutor now!”
A wry smile graced Ellie’s lips. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Raph,” she said, then, like an afterthought, added in, “hi Lottie.”
“You two know each other?” Raphael exclaimed, the same time Lottie awkwardly said “hi” back.
“Er, yeah,” Ellie nodded, avoiding Lottie’s gaze entirely. “She attended our band’s performances at the Rosewood Bar & Lounge.”
Lottie glanced back at Raphael who took a second to process this before a look of recognition hit his features. “Oh! The pretty blonde girl you were talking abou—!”
“—You shouldn’t keep your door open,” Ellie interrupted loudly, and this time it was her turn to go red in the face, bringing some colour to her pale cheeks. “Let’s out the AC. You should also let Lottie go; she probably has very important places to be.”
Lottie would have said that she didn’t really, but her mind was too occupied by the knowledge that Ellie had talked about her to her friends and called her pretty.
Raphael, seemingly slightly confused, nodded at Lottie and Ellie. “Alright. See ya Ellie.” Then, to Lottie, he said, “I’ll text you.” He promptly shut the door, leaving Lottie and Ellie outside, awkwardly staring at one another.
“Uh, hello again,” Lottie greeted, unsure what exactly to say. She started down the steps and towards her car but stopped when she was a couple of feet away from Ellie.
Ellie nodded her head. “Hi.” She fiddled with her dangling earphone.
“I—I,” Lottie said, suddenly feeling a surge of courage run through her. If Raphael’s words were anything to go by, Ellie clearly liked her. So why not take the chance? “I was meaning to talk to you at Rosewood, during the breaks or afterwards and stuff, but you always were busy or left before I could ask for your number.”
There was something uncertain about the way Ellie held herself that Lottie couldn’t help but soften her tone. “But if you don’t want to or if you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely okay too.”
Finally, Ellie sighed. “It’s…it’s not that.” She pulled out her other earphone so her entire focus was on Lottie. “I really like you Lottie. Like, a lot. But, well,” she spread out her hands, “this is my neighbourhood. I live right over there.” Ellie pointed to the house with the circular driveway and fountain. “I guess I didn’t want you to get to know me only for you to think that I was some spoiled rich kid. So I avoided you—pretended to talk to Jamie and Saskia or left through the back door so I wouldn’t have to interact with you.”
Lottie bit her lip before saying quietly, “Well, you never really gave me a chance to get to know you in the first place.”
Ellie ran a hand through her black hair. “Yeah, I see that now. It’s just that you were telling me about what you were doing at school, and then about your mom, and I didn’t want you to think down upon me because my parents are wealthy.”
Lottie could see where Ellie was coming from; self-deprecation and anxiety was hard to get through, and Lottie knew that from experience. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I still like you and I initially thought you were too cool to like me.”
A small smile touched Ellie’s lips and Lottie felt her heart racing in her chest. “That would never happen.” Ellie paused for a moment before saying, “Howl at the Moon is coming over tonight to practice and then hang out. Anastacia, Saskia’s girlfriend, will be there as well. You could come over if you’d like.”
Eyes lighting up, Lottie said, “That sounds amazing. I’d love to.”
“Follow me!” Ellie exclaimed, her previous, confident, aura back. “Jamie’s probably already over there, always the punctual one.”
As they made their way to Ellie’s house, shoulder to shoulder into the sunset, Ellie grabbed Lottie’s hand and intertwined it with her own.