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Getting summoned was never fun. The requests were all the same. Revenge on this, vengeance on that, the secrets of the darkest spells for some dark purpose…..same old. Same old.
Usually Wei Wuxian, Yiling Patriarch and scourge of the cultivation world could get out of such deals. It wasn’t like any of the arrays were drawn correctly, not with his masterly clever scheme of indecipherable handwriting.
Which was absolutely planned. No other reason.
So when he opened his eyes and flexed his arms he was surprised to find that for the first time since he’d died, he was well and truly trapped. Stuck having to actually fulfill this conditions of his summon.
Far less surprising was the request.
“I want revenge, on all of them,” said a boy covered in makeup. He looked a bit like him, Wei Wuxian noticed, black and red clothing and a fake flute. That in itself was not unsurprising, he’d had plenty of people summon him who decided imitation was the greatest form of flattery.
“Right,” said Wei Wuxian, “And what exactly do you want to do to them? Who even is them?”
“My aunt, my uncle, and my cousin have been stealing money from me. They took all the cash I earned and started treating me like trash: hitting me, locking me up, and never giving me good food. They’ve told everyone I’ve gone mad.”
That…wasn’t the worst request as far as requests go. At least it wasn’t like, kicking puppies or taking over the world. He could probably handle some good old fashioned revenge against an abusive home life.
“….and they found out about my plan to leave. The income I had all ready to go, they took it all and destroyed it. Wrecked all my costumes but this one,” he spread his hands to show off his Yiling Patriarch outfit. “I’m never getting out of here, if I don’t get rid of them first.”
“Costumes?” Wei Wuxian asked, “I’d hardly call that a costume, I’d call that style.”
“It’s for performance,” said the kid. “So it’s a costume.”
“Performance?” said Wei Wuxian, “Are you doing a cultivation show?”
“Kinda? Not much, just enough for the practical effects and to really sell the theme,” said the kid, “No one’s even tried anything like it in the idol world. And you know the people are gonna be so receptive to it. I mean, people everywhere still buy your stuff, my brother’s a collector.”
“Brother?”
“Oh yeah, we also need to get revenge on him. He shot down my plan to create the ultimate idol group based on the Yiling Patriarch, and then he didn’t just stop there, he started spreading the first of the nasty rumors to stop anyone from ever joining me in an idol group and he kicked me out so I no longer have the resources to create it. But I showed him! I was almost ready to set out when my cousin found my stuff.”
“Wait,” said Wei Wuxian, “When you say idol group… you mean singing right?”
“Yeah,” the kid blinked at him, “What else would I mean?”
“So when you say you want revenge,” Wei Wuxian said thoughts racing, “What you really want is to make it as an idol group and rub it in the faces of everyone who ever tried to stop you?”
The kid blinked. “I…I guess I do,” he said slowly, “I do want them to seem me succeed before I kill them all.” He shakes his head, “But I’ll never be able to do it, not without new members to join, money to finance, or a stage to perform.”
“But I can solve that problem,” said Wei Wuxian voice growing with excitement. This was the first time he’d been summoned to do something he might actually be good at. And if he could keep the kid from forcing him to do murder that would be a nice bonus, he’d had rather enough senseless slaughter for several life times. But a performer? To play on the worlds stage, looking down at the entire cultivation world and this time, this time there screams would not be in terror but in praise.
This time they would listen to him.
“You need members first right? Well I know a few guys, ghosts you could say, would be excellent back up dancers,” he began. “And we don’t need a stage-stage, we can do some impromptu performances on buildings to drum up interest…”
“Like a flash mob?” said the kid.
“As long as flash mob means impromptu performance in busy areas, yes. Now as to the money… how much to turnips go for right about now?”
“Not much. We’d need years to afford some of the costs. Usually idols have an industry to cover for a bit and that still barely pays the singers anything, but no respectable industry would cover me, not after I got blacklisted by the Jin clan.”
Wei Wuxian tucked that nugget of information away. Avoid the Jin. Got it. Just have to add that to avoiding the Jiang, and the Lan, and the Nie while he’s at it. Anyone who might actually recognize him.
“Oh…oh!” the kid said jumping up a bit, “We could try selling Yiling Patriarch stuff, it goes for a lot on the black market, and I don’t even have to go looking for genuine items when I could just get you to create some right here!”
Ehh, it could be worse, “So long as I get to at least try and sell some radishes.”
“Deal!” said the kid. “Who are you going to summon for back up dancers? I’m thinking we’ll need a core team of at least three people: so me and two other attractive but vaguely threatening appearances, who can pull of the Yiling Patriarch look. I used to have Xue Yang before I got black listed.”
“Do they all need to be Yiling Patriarchs?” said Wei Wuxian, “because I was thinking…” he began to play his flute.
A crashing was heard, followed by screams before a chained man with fully black eyes and black lines up his throat burst in.
Wei Wuxian stared in horror at the man before him, he’d been trying to summon the ghost-woman he used on Wen Chao, but instead the first to answer his call had been Wen Ning. A man he’d thought gone forever. Perhaps he was, for when he looked in his old friends eyes he saw no recognition.
“The Ghost General!” The kid yelled, “Oh that’s perfect! Can he dance? Can he sing? Who cares if he can sing! He’s the Ghost General!” he started bouncing around and then stopped, “Hey, why are there nails in the back of his head?’
Nails suppressing his personality. That Wei Wuxian could do something about.
“Kid could you go gather up what you could use for this project?” he said better to get the kid out now then risk him getting hurt while he freed Wen Ning.
With the kid gone Wei Wuxian moved to pull the nails out, restraining Wen Ning as he did so, and keeping up a string of distracting words, “Oh you’re really going to love his, this kid wants us to help him become a famous idol group! Can you imagine that? Us! Idols! The most hated people in the cultivation world actually able to show our faces out in public…because everyone’s going to think we’re just lookalikes!”
Wen Ning stilled, “Wei Wuxian?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you serious about us being idols now?”
“He certainly is!” called the kid as he burst in, “I’ve got makeup. Your outfits are going to have to do! Let’s get this show on the road!”
Their first gig was right out on the streets of the kid’s home town.
It wouldn’t be much of a first performance, really they were just letting the kid take the lead and while Wei Wuxian played along, keeping all their movements in sync. Only one song to see if they could do it. But it would still be their first break out performance and Wei Wuxian was determined to leave their first mark.
He had a big final surprise planned.
The song was passing, not Wei Wuxian’s first choice, he’d have to add some more fun musical breaks to it later, but he could keep their feet moving through the choreography.
From their vantage point on the roof he could begin to see people gathering, normal folks about their days on the town. He liked to pretend that they were the rest of the Wen survivors. That he was playing a song for A-Yaun and the rest, making their had day farming a bit brighter.
He wondered if Wen Ning was thinking the same.
More people were starting to gather, kids in white who Wei Wuxian could pretend were Lans. His Lan Zhan would probably hate this, standing on roofs and playing music.
Wait those were Lans
Actual Lans. Real cultivators.
Would they notice when he did his big finale with the dead dancing in sync? Could he risk it?
They seemed to be little ones, maybe if they kept it as seemingly part of the act…
The kid turned to him to signal to pull out the big guns. And he froze eyes widening. Wei Wuxian glanced over at Wen Ning to find a similar expression on his face.
But since he knew Wen Ning quite well, he knew that level of resignation to Wei Wuxian’s antics meant “Lan Zhan.”
The Lan Zhan song would be a good ending, he supposed. No dancing corpses but it was something.
He started to play…
And almost jumped out of his skin when from behind him came the harmonizing sound of the guqin.
He turned, to find Lan Zhan seated behind him on the roof, playing along.
When the notes faded, and the applause (led by the little Lans) swelled Wei Wuxian found he couldn’t move. What should he say? What would throw Lan Zhan off the scent?
Fortunatly for him, the kid knew exactly what to say: “Thank you all for coming out, I’m Mo Xuanyu and we are the Yiling Patriachs! Up and coming idols!”
More cheering. And then the ki…Mo Xuanyu turned to Lan Zhan, “Thank you for joining us. You wouldn’t happen to be looking to sponsor an idol band.”
“Idol band?” said Lan Zhan.
“Yes!” said Wei Wuxian, “We’re idols, just idols and our theme is the Yiling Patriarch, very popular with edgy teens. I’m sure a real cultivator like yourself would be invaluable with the special effects that we, completely normal people, can’t do.”
“I mean I can…” Mo Xuanyu began. But Wei Wuxian cut him off.
“Just makeup isn’t going to be able to cut it when we really get going! I’m sure you understand…”
“Hmm,” said Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian, who liked to consider himself an expert in Lan Zhan’s sounds knew that was the thinking sound. “If you come to Gusu.”
“Done!” Mo Xuanyu said before Wei Wuxian could think of a reason not to go to a cultivation center with all its terrible rules and only the flimsiest lie in the world protecting them.
Somewhere far away Jiang Cheng saw the talk about the Yiling patriarch idol group. His phone did not survive his wrath. Making a profit off his dead brother family tragedy. The nerve of some people. Dancing and using tricks to make it seem like they were using demonic cultivation, all to ensnare a younger generation into thinking that there weren’t consequences –horrible, horrible consequences that drew his brother to kill their sister– to such reckless actions…a part of him actually hoped they were using real demonic cultivation just so he could put a stop to it.
It would be clever a part of him whispered that sounded like his dead brother the Yiling Patriarch, so clever to hide their transgressions in the public eye where no one would ever try to look. Like something Wei Wuxian would try.
Exactly like something Wei Wuxain would try.
“Jin Ling!” he called over to his nephew who was playing with his dog in the yards, “Grab your things, we’ve got some demonic cultivators to catch. I need everything you know about the upcoming band the Yiling Patriarchs!”