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I look down at my phone and see another text from my work group chat. There is a project for a client who keeps micromanaging the whole group behind the project. I haven’t said anything in the chat, because it’s not done to me. Though I do find it entertaining, and I love reading late at night with Pat the complaints, because he always has funny responses. He always says that it’s funny how much I love talking about the drama going on. I laugh slightly thinking about the most recent drama, and can’t wait to hear Pat’s thoughts on it. I feel so giddy, about being able to see my boyfriend, as I usually get. It doesn’t matter that we live together, and I see him every day, I still feel like I am in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. Even though we have been together for almost seven years, it still feels like it’s been barely anytime.
Though as I open the door I don’t see my boyfriend even though I know he should be there. So, I walk in further and don’t see him in the living room, kitchen, or dining room, so finally look in the bedroom. I just slightly open the door and overhear Pat talking on the phone with somebody I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t eavesdrop and at first I think about waiting for him in the living room, but then he says, “No, we can’t do it here, Pran will be back soon. How about I go to you? It will have to be quick, so I can be back here for Pran.”
I feel all these feelings brim up inside me, I know that I should leave, at least leave the doorway, but I can’t, I feel frozen to the spot. What am I supposed to do this in this situation? Maybe I am misunderstanding this, Pat would never cheat on me, but before I know it I feel the tears streaming down my face. What am I supposed to do? What am I going to do? I am so stuck in my thoughts that I miss hearing some of it until, I see Pat’s eyes on me, clearly having caught me there.
He walks up to me smiling, until he sees my tears, and he says, “Baby, what’s wrong, why are you crying? Are you okay? What happened? Did somebody hurt you?” I want to blurt out, ‘YOU DID, YOU HURT ME!!’ Though of course, I can’t do that so, I try to put a smile on my face. Though, of course, he sees right through me and holds out his arms in a hug and I of course walk in because I can’t help it. He wraps his arms around me, “I love you, please tell me who made you feel this way.”
I shake my head about to say no to that, but the look in his eyes convinces me not to lie. So I take a deep breath, trying not to cry again, “Who were you planning to meet?” He looks shocked, but then seeming to try to mask it, and I can’t do it anymore. I start to walk away until I feel a hand on my arm holding me back. I look back and finally snap, “What!?! You think I wouldn’t find out about your cheating ways.” My voice starts to get choked up with tears, “Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore?”
I start to cry then, and he just stands there looking completely shocked and when I pull away, he snaps out of it, “Wait! You think I am cheating on you? You think that I don’t want to be with you anymore? Are you kidding me? This is a joke right.” I feel like ignoring him until I can hear the combination of anger, hurt, and tears in his voice which makes me turn back around and look at him. He's standing there bawling his eyes out, and I feel all of my anger leave me.
Though, I feel worried that it is true, because he didn’t tell me an answer, so I decide to ask again, “If you aren’t cheating or wanting to leave me, then tell me who you were talking to? Where were you going and having to be back for me to be here?”
He looks up glaring at me, I feel like I have never felt so much anger, coming from my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do, especially since I need those answers. It takes him a couple of breaths before he is able to talk, “Wow! You are pretty demanding for someone who just accused his boyfriend of cheating after eavesdropping on like a 10-minute conversation. Though fine, but you got to listen to me and after this we are going to talk about communication and trust. Trust me, you will feel guilty of what you just said.”
I sigh and nod my head, and then he takes my arm, and after we leave our house, he tells me to put on his tie on my eyes. I do as he asks and then hear as he starts the car. I feel the hurt and awkwardness in the car, especially since Pat put on the radio, so we could not even try to talk. I definitely hope that I am wrong, but I know that I will have a lot of making up I will have to do. Though, it’s the one time that I would happily make up with him in any way I could. Please whoever is out there, let me be able to do that. I step out of my thoughts as I feel the car stop and I wait to see if it’s just a traffic light, but then I hear the car shutting off and the driver door opening and closing. I almost think that he left me here, but then I hear my door opening and feel his hand on my arm leading me out of the car.
I feel so weird having to rely on somebody like this, but honestly if it had to be anyone I would pick him. I do trust him most, even though it doesn’t seem like it right now. As I get out of the car, he says, “Remember to listen to me, okay?” I nod my head, and it seems like he sees it as he starts leading me somewhere. Then after going through a doorway I think, he calls somebody. I think he is calling somebody, because all I can hear is one part of a conversation. He starts saying, “We are here,” and then there is a pause and then, “I know, bye.” As the call ends we are walking again and then after a bit, he says, “Okay wait here and count to fifteen and then take off your blindfold and walk through the doorway. Okay?” I nod again, and then I hear him walk away.
Right when I hear the feet going away I start counting.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
7…
8…
9…
10…
11…
12…
13…
14…
15
As I take off my blindfold, I take a second to adjust my eyes and see a very familiar door in front of me. I am at Pat and my high school in front of the door to the old music room. I take a deep breath as I walk in, and see no lights on and then a light turns on suddenly and a powerpoint starts. I see pictures on it of me and Pat, from all the way to childhood. Some of it as babies, and then slowly ages up over time. I see a video taken of us playing with Pa when we were younger, which I don’t know how that got there. Then, it changed to tenth grade and a clip of us messing around with Ink and being crazy. The whole time, ‘Just a Friend,’ is in the background. Then it changes as it has us writing Just a Friend, and it changes to Our Song. I smile, especially when it gets further and there are pictures of us, us with friends, us with coworkers, and at many events. I feel like I am seeing a review of our whole relationship.
I can’t help, but smile then when it changes to the voice of Pat’s sister, and then I see her face. She smiles at the camera and says, “Pran, you have always been like a brother to me, since way before you and my brother started dating. I don’t know when that started, but you were just always somebody there, I feel like I was always closest to you and Pat, more than anyone. A big part is our mutual childhood and how it effected all of us. My mom once told me, when I started dating Ink that you, my brother, and I have always been rebels. You are my friend and family outside of you being with Pat, but your relationship with my Hia has just strengthened my care and love for you. After when Ink and I, had dinner with you and Pat after you started dating that long time ago, I said to her that I was very surprised. Though, as I look back, I kind of always knew that you two would be great best friends or boyfriends, most likely the second. You are the couple that I use to explain what my example of a great couple is. You have issues, but you love each other, and are your true selves all the time with each other. I could say so much more, but I have to go, otherwise others won’t get their time.”
I feel myself tearing up, but then the screen changes to Ink who is tearing up in the video. She wipes them a little, and says in choked voice, “Hey Pran, I always think that the best decision I made was switching schools in tenth grade. Since, I got to meet the three most important people to me, my two best friends and girlfriend. Pat, Pa, and You, brought me in, in that crazy amount of time ago. That is probably something I will never forget, you three are like a second family to me, and I would never regret, having that in my life. I want to tell you a secret, I kind of always knew that you and Pat would end up together. You two, are the type of love that is just inevitable, like you two were meant to be. Fighting happens in a relationship, I mean Pa and I have had some really epic fights, but you two are the real deal. I am glad I got to be part of your life and the journey of the two of you. I love you, best friend, brother, and the most caring, nicest, most sarcastic and stubbornest person I know.”
I feel tears streaming down my cheeks, wow, what is going on? I watch as the screen changes to my smirking best friend (or, I guess third-best friend). Wai has this smile that just says, that you need to anticipate something big, “Pran, you have been my best friend since mid tenth grade. I feel like I needed to be there for you since you were full of so much anger back then. Then of course later finding out about the sudden school change without your choice, it must have hurt a lot. I love your Mae, but I am hoping that she regretted doing that, but I guess the good thing is we met. I know you and Pat weren’t supposed to be friends back then, so you got separated, but of course it’s like you two are soulmates or something because, you will always come back together. No, I have not known you as long as Pat, Pa, or Ink, but we have known each other a long time, and you are the type of person who makes people really care. Oh and Pat, yes I thought he was a downright asshole at first, but I don’t think I have seen anyone so besotted with someone else as he is with you. Also, he might be an asshole, but his likable stubborn nature, makes you have to be friends with him. At first, he was just an asshole, but now I see the more sweet, caring, funny, parts of his assholeness. Honestly, I consider that asshole a bestfriend, who would ever guess that would happen.”
The screen fades out, and before I can feel the emotions from Wai’s message, I hear Korn, “Hey man, so I know that the last three messages were probably emotional. This will not be as emotional though.” I laugh a little at that, “You see I wasn't as close with you as Pat, Pa, Ink, or Wai had been with you in college, but now you are one of my bestfriends. I feel like you are the reason everyone got their shit together back then. I love Pat, he is my brother, but you were the one that was more likely to bring people together. Your relationship makes people brave and happy, which feels so great. I know it has for me, if it wasn’t for you two I wouldn’t have had the courage to be with Wai. Though, it’s probably because if the two of you can work it out, with your weird journey of a relationship, anyone can work out. Though now, I feel so much closer to you, and I love that we have our small group just you, me, Pat, Wai, Ink, and Pa. I am not glad that our faculties fought all the time back then, but I am glad that I met you through it.”
I keep laughing and crying, almost feeling like how am I supposed to keep watching. However, I feel like my eyes are glued to the screen as many small messages from varying people. All of our coworkers, neighbors, and other people that have known me and Pat throughout the years show their love and care. Then it switches to somebody I didn’t expect, I see my Por on the screen tearing up slightly, which is crazy I don’t I have seen him cry in a long time. I feel so emotional already, but he smiles, “Son, you are the most important person to me, aside from your mom. As I have seen you grow up, you have always been so independent and honestly sometimes unruly, but that’s a good thing. I am guessing you will get some apologies soon, and I apologize too. You have always been a good kid, kept the best marks in school, always tried your best at everything you did, kept your room clean, and tried to smile while doing everything. The only thing that our generation did wrong by you, was bringing our feud into you, Pat, and Pa’s life, which is why it’s good that you and Pat are so defiant of kids. You two found each other anyway, the times that I have spent with the both of you, I see the love you two have. Thank you for being unruly and finding your own path, because you got us all to take a second and look at what we did. I love you so much.”
Then it seems to be handed to my Mae, “Pran, you are very amazing man, and I wish I could take some credit. Though, I feel like I spent too much time holding you back from what you want. Like your Por said, I am very happy that you were so defiant, because it got us to see reason. Now I have realized, hopefully I am not too late, that I want to get to know the kids next door, especially Pat. Your happiness makes me so incredibly happy, that is all a parent wants for their child. It comes down to their child being happy, healthy, and loved, and you clearly have that. Will you accept my apology from all this time, I have not been a great mae? I hope I get your forgiveness, but don’t expect it, because it was definitely one of my biggest mistakes. Though now, if you do forgive me, I will try to better as a Mae to you and would love to have Pat in the family as well. I know back in your tenth grade year, you hated my decision, but I thought I was protecting you. Honestly, though I know now, I was just benign selfish. It was a rivalry that was part of our generation, and should have stayed there, a stupid feud from too long ago. I hope this is not the last thing I say to you, but I love you so much and wish you all the happiness in the world.”
I am officially bawling when the screen switches to Pat’s Mae, I feel almost awkward, but no this is fine, “Pran, hi, I am Pat’s Mae, you can call me Auntie or Mae as well. I know that you already know who I am, but I don’t feel like we have ever really met officially, even though I feel like I have seen you grow up to who you are now. I would love to get to know you, because all Pat, Pa, and Ink tell me, is how truly amazing you are and how great you are with Pat. It’s funny, I see the stubbornness that I see back then from Dissaya and Ming in you and Pat, your Mae and Pat’s Por were stubborn and not wanting to stop a rivalry that stayed for too long. Pat and you though, are stubborn, by rebelling against it, and I am glad that you two did, because hopefully your generation will be able to end this almost fifty-year-old feud between our families. Thank you for making my son happy and I hope to consider you a son too eventually. Now, though, I just want to officially meet you, please come over to our house sometime, or I would like to even get to know you just us two personally. Whatever works for you, works for me, just let me know.”
Pat’s Por now comes on the screen, and I regret it, but I automatically straighten up. I might be rebellious and stubborn like they said, but my Mae taught me to be respectful and honestly he kind of scares me. I just wait with bated breath until he starts, “I am not usually the type of person to apologize without somebody telling me to. I don’t even think my wife expected me to do this, but, I am so sorry for everything that I did to make anything hard for you, Pat, or Pa. I will always regret how our rivalry effected you three. I hope that you would like to get to know me again, and hope you will accept my wife’s invitation for dinner at our house. I don’t want to come in between you and Pat ever again, so please make my son happy and I hope you will give us the opportunity to get to know you again.”
Yep I am officially bawling and feel like I will never stop crying, I feel the anticipation of what is going to happen and when there are too many seconds of blackness I think it’s over. Until I see Pat, he is smiling and looks so happy, very different from earlier today, I feel like crying all over again. He is silent for a couple of seconds until, “Pran, Babe, you are the love of my life. I know it took me longer than you to figure out that I was falling for you, but I have been trying to make up for it ever since. You are my most important person and I want to make you feel special every single day, but especially today.” I feel confused, wait what is today, I feel worry in the pit of my stomach as he continues, “You are my best friend, sorry Korn. You are the one who makes me the most happy, but also the one who makes me the most annoyed. You are so beautiful, funny, sarcastic, a smart ass, caring, loving, you work so hard, and do everything for everyone else without anyone asking twice. You tend to put everyone else first, so I want to be the one who puts you first. I once said that if I love somebody I will let them win, well I added something to that. If I love somebody I will let them win every battle we face, and will also make sure the person’s happiness comes first. You are the first person I have loved, though nobody else had a chance when it seems like I started falling for you when we were little kids.”
I smile, but feel so frustrated with myself for, ever thinking he would cheat on me. Though I keep watching, “You are the definition of happiness for me, and I can’t help, but fall for you a little more every moment of every day. Now, I know you are probably thinking, 'Ugh, he sounds so damn cheesy,' but it’s true, and how I feel. Our friends, especially Ink and Wai always tease me about how whipped I am for you, and I always tell them that they are just jealous. Though we all know, they are the same way for their partners, but the point is, I don’t regret any of it, I am whipped for you and will be always. I know we have been through a lot, but every single thing that we have been through from birth has just brought me closer to you. I love you, my stubborn, sarcastic, rebellious, gorgeous, funny, sweet man!! Oh yeah, turn around.”
I feel confused as the screen shuts to black with just white letters telling me to turn around, and so I do. When I turn completely I see Pat there in person, he still looks hurt, a little angry, but mostly just happy. I want to say something, but he holds up a hand, which makes me stop. Then he speaks, “I don’t want an apology right now, and before you tell me you weren’t going to apologize if you are not then this was not worth it.” I look at him fully and he looks so hurt by the things I said and thought so I don’t say anything and let him talk some more. Luckily, after a few minutes of silence, he starts again, “I have been working on that for months with the help of everyone involved. You don’t even know how hard it was to go to your house to talk to your parents, but Wai helped a lot. There were a couple of last-minute things that had to be edited, so that is what I was going to do while you were still not here. Though then you got back early and misunderstood, I want to be livid, and actually, I still am, you will be making it up to me a lot. However, I will never regret doing this for you or being your boyfriend. Well maybe the last one, but that is because I want you to be more,” I see as he get down to one knee. I feel so choked up that I already am nodding my head, and he chuckles, but continues, “Pran, the love of my life, and the best person I know, will you marry me?”
I take a second to breathe and then as tears flow down my face once again, I answer, “Yes, a thousand, no a million times, yes!!” He gets up from the ground and wraps his arms around me and twirls me around. Then I hear the lights go on and a bunch of people clapping outside the doorway, and see Korn, Wai, Ink, and Pa, with huge smiles on their faces. As we celebrate with our friends I think, ‘yes, we need to talk about communication and trust, but I will do anything to get him to forgive me. I will never regret loving this man and will do anything to make sure he never regrets loving me.