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**If you didn't see it above here are the trigger warnings.**
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
- Parent/child abuse
- Wai's Parent's A+ Parenting
- Dissaya's A+ Parenting
- Ming's A+ Parenting
Also if you want to know a good song to listen to while reading this, just to make you understand why I did this to the characters, it's okay I am crying too.
Check this out: Wish You Pain By Andy Grammar
Also if you want to listen to something that makes you feel better,
Check this out: Consider Me By Allen Stone
KORN POV:
“No, I don’t want him to meet my parents”
Wait, what? What is my boyfriend talking about? I never even thought that that was a possible decision. I thought that it was inevitable that I would meet them eventually, I mean Wai has met my parents and family. Wai has taught my sister how to draw, and she is so good now. My brother calls Wai, “Hia Wai,” he thinks of him as an older brother and goes to him for dating and other advice. My Mae treats him as a son, especially since Wai helps her cook all the time. Oh and, my Por has been wanting to renovate the house for a while, and Wai has helped him get some design ideas, also, Por used to be a musician so loves that Wai is so good. He is part of my family, and I thought I would just be part of his.
I was about to walk into Pat and Pran’s house when I heard my boyfriend say, what am I going to do now? I don’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation, because that makes it seem like I don’t trust him. I know it might not seem like right now, but I do. It just doesn’t feel like he trusts me or our relationship if he never wants me to meet his family. I walk in further, hoping to hear more or at least pretend I didn’t hear anything.
“Oh! Hey Korn, good you are here. Pa and Ink won’t be here for about an hour or so, so, you and Wai can just relax.” Pat tells me as he walks to the kitchen, which by the noises and smells coming out of it is where Pran is.
Hearing my name it seems, Wai looks up at me and smiles so lovingly, until he sees my face. Damn it! I knew I couldn’t hide anything from him, Wai was the person who could always read me like a book he loved. Which is proven by the question that comes out, “Hun, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad day? I know you had to talk to new clients today and I know how much you hate that.” I try to stop myself, but happiness shoots up because my boyfriend knows me so well. Yes, I did have a bad day, but the worst part was not the clients, but finding out that my boyfriend never wants me to meet his family.
He looks so concerned and starts walking closer and I make myself not move until he gently puts his hand on my cheek and I flinch. My hurt can’t help itself from burning me from the inside, but I try not to show it. However, as soon as I flinch, hurt resides on Wai’s face, and he says, “Did I do something? Whatever it is, please tell me what it is, I am so sorry for whatever it is.” He looks conflicted and seems to want to comfort me, but unsure about how to comfort me when he doesn’t know what is wrong.
I sigh, the conflicted behavior and hurt on his face, make my hurt crawl up to my chest and I feel like I can barely breathe. However, as I watch him patiently wait, it makes me say, “Are you embarrassed by our relationship? Am I just something that you have right now? I am serious about this relationship, are you?”
I feel the anger and hurt mix into a toxic cocktail as I spew the questions and see the confusion and hurt turn to anger on my boyfriend’s face. Though maybe I shouldn’t call him that since he doesn’t even want me to meet his family. I get taken out of my thoughts by the sadness in his voice, “I love you and have always loved you, I can’t think about being with anyone else. You are my best friend, the love of my life, and most important person, why would you think I'm embarrassed by you? I am so serious and am already wanting a future with you. This is kind of a bad place for this, but I want to marry you one day, have kids, and everything else. I love you so much, and can’t wait for everything to come, and to spend the rest of my life with you. Why do you think that I wouldn’t? Who made you feel like that, I will kick their ass.”
I feel my anger rise because how can he say all of that, but still not want me to never meet his family? I sigh and say, “Why won’t I meet your family?” I see how the confusion and hurt turn to frustration and worry in my boyfriend’s eyes and expression.
He seems to go back to his conflicted state and then says, “Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?” I flinch as I hear the venom in his voice.
“It’s not what you think, I didn’t try to overhear it, I was just walking into the house and I overheard.” I try to explain myself, but then I remember what he said, and my sadness comes back in full force, “So, you don’t want me to meet them? I guess, I will just go, because I don’t want to act happy right now, after finding out about this.”
I start to turn to leave when I hear the yell from behind me, “You are such a hypocrite!!.” This makes me turn and glare back at him, but he keeps talking, “You kept us secret for close to a year when we started dating. So-”
Before he can say anything more Pat and Pran step in and separates us. I feel if Pran takes me upstairs to the guest room, and sees Pat bring Wai to their bedroom.
PRAN POV:
As soon as Wai was talking about Korn not meeting his family with Pat, I was worried that something like this was going to happen. So, when Pat came back into the kitchen and said that he could see anger and hurt on Korn’s face. I started to worry and then when we heard their conversation starting to get heated we decide to go out there and separate them. Luckily most of the food needs to sit for a while so, I can just leave it be. I walk out and take Korn upstairs, thinking their anger and hurt related to each other, needed a floor between them.
When we get to the guest room, I see how Korn drops on the bed and hides his face in the pillow. I sighed, worried about him, and go over and run my fingers through his hair, smiling down at him. Korn just nuzzles into the touch and some tension seems to leave him and I sit down by him on the bed laying down to have my head against the headboard. He takes the opportunity to lay on my chest. Korn has always been like this, though only when he is around Wai, Pat, and me. If it was anyone else, he would never be able to be comfortable enough to be this vulnerable. However, especially we can comfort him and make him feel better. Wai, of course, is usually the best, though his boyfriend wouldn’t be able to help at this point because he is the subject of Korn’s hurt.
Korn takes a couple of minutes to rest and relax until, he finally starts talking, “I am sorry Pran, I didn’t want to ruin our friend date night.” I smile comfortingly and then chuckle slightly about the last phrase, remembering when Wai, Pat, and Pa, came up with that name. Korn, Ink, and I, were a little weirded out about it, but of course, we are so whipped for our partners so, so we had to agree with the phrase. Now though, we all know it’s kind of perfect for our triple date nights that we try to have every week. I wouldn’t say this out loud, but it’s honestly my favorite time during the week, just hanging out with the most important people in my life.
I smile down at Korn, worried that he is so silent, and I say, “You didn’t ruin anything, Pat, and I want to help you two. So, I know what was said, because you were right outside the kitchen, but please tell me what you feel about all of it.”
He smiles back slightly, though I can see the hurt and anger still there and so, I wait until he is ready to talk. It doesn’t take very long for him to decide what to say, “He met my family, after we were together for a year, actually pretty close to when we came out. It was by accident actually, I didn’t know my family was going to randomly visit me at school. It just happened to coincide with a date night for Wai and me. We were hanging out at my dorm and I was cooking, and a knock came at the door and I asked Wai to answer it. I still remember the worry and nervousness on my boyfriend's face when he came into the kitchen and told me that I have guests. I was confused and then embarrassed quickly when I saw my family there and right away my brother and sister started teasing me about my boyfriend. It was one of my favorite moments, because that one night, Wai won all of my family over, and right afterward my mom asked Wai for his line ID. It was about a minute after they left when we got notifications where my mom added Wai to the family group chat.”
I see how he smiles and wrap my arms around me and squeezes him a little closer to my chest to show I am listening, and so he takes a breath. Then, when he has settled again he continues, “Not long afterward that same night, he got individual messages from each member of my family. Sometimes I joke everyone loves Wai more than me, and my mae says, that Wai is part of the family. Though, I am pretty sure that means that Wai is the favorite child and brother of the family, and honestly, I am okay with it. I love him, no matter what happens and the best day of my life so far is when I knew I found somebody that my family loves as well.” He stops for a second, starting to tear up and I just squeeze slightly, “I just never thought that he doesn’t want the same thing. In the back of my head, I know that this is serious and he loves me, but I just wish that I could be part of his family as well. Am I going to lose him, Pran?”
I put my hands on his arms and slightly pull him away so he can look at me. As I see the tears running down his face and the look of fear and hurt on his, my heart breaks a little. I try to smile and say, “Korn, do you promise to listen to what I have to say, and to not interrupt?” After he nods his head, I continue, “Okay, so Wai’s family is not like your family. His parents are not nice or good people, they have treated him his whole life. He has not told you this for three reasons: First, he is still under their manipulation to not tell anyone. Second, he feels insecure slightly that you wouldn't want him as much because of them and what they would say. Last, but not least, he is terrified that you would want to protect him and get in trouble or hurt for what they do to you. So, before I continue to anything else? Please promise me that you won’t go to them yourself.”
I can see how he looks contemplative but seems to catch my seriousness and so he says, “I promise, but can I know how you know all this and it seems Pat does too? Oh, and also, how bad is it?”
I smile at his worried voice and am glad that he and Wai are together, they are pretty imperfectly perfect for each other. I take a deep breath because this will be hard for me too, before I continue talking, “Thank you so much for that promise. I will answer both of those questions in a second. I just want to say before that, that you are so important to him and loved by him wholeheartedly. I can see how happy you make him and how happy he makes you. So, please don’t worry that there is no future for both of you. I can honestly see you two, Pat and I, and Ink and Pa, all being married with kids in the future having play dates and birthday parties and everything.” I smile when he smiles, glad that I made him feel a little better.
**A/N: WARNING: THE PARENTAL/CHILD ABUSE TRIGGER STARTS SOON,
SO READ WITH CAUTION**
Though, I know the hard part is next, “Okay first off Wai gave me and Pat permission to tell you everything, just in case he couldn’t. He did not have a good childhood, his parents didn’t want him, but since they had him, he had to be perfect. His mom treated him like a doll that she could play with and manipulate into the perfect mini-her. Though, when he was not perfect, she would get mad and lock him in the closet for days or would say that until he became perfect again she could never love him. His Por on the other hand, would take a more physical approach to it. He would hit him when he feels like it was necessary as a bonus punishment. Though, mostly he just said to him, that he is not his son until he is the best and he has a perfect family.” I can feel the anger and protective instinct radiating off of both of us but try to push through the tension.
I look at Korn and see that he is angry, but just holds on to me again while he calms down. I smile that he is doing that and not getting angry again, I feel myself holding on to him too. I feel like I am going to need it for the next part, and when I finally feel like I can handle it I start, “It took him time to tell Pat and me. When he and I, were back in boarding school, I at first had a plan to not make friends and just focus on school. I didn’t want to get hurt again and I just was still so angry with my mom and Pat for being the reasons why I was there. I wanted to focus on school and just wait to get out of there, but then something happened. So, at first Wai and I were kind of rivals since we both wanted to focus on school and get the best grades for different reasons. However, it changed when I walked into our room one day and he was in the closet, and I asked what he was doing. He just looked at me with tears in his eyes, saying, ‘I got a 90 on the last test, what am I supposed to do? What if they find out? They would never love me now.’ I looked at him at that moment and finally saw somebody who understood me.”
I feel somebody wiping my tears away that I didn’t even know were there and see Korn look at me concerned. I look away because I know I won’t be able to look at him and say what I have to say. I sigh and feel the tears keep falling, but continue, “You know some of my story about my childhood, Dissaya, was not a good mae and neither was Ming for Pat. They manipulated us into being perfect and they used us as pawns in their war against each other. We had to be rivals in their eyes, and constantly be better than the other. Luckily back then we had Pa, who brought us together and helped us be friends. I think she was hurt for us since she heard the words and saw the anger I got from Dissaya and saw and heard the hits that Pat got. She didn’t get the punishments, but she wanted to protect us from our parents. However, neither of us wanted her to get hurt, so, we hid a lot of the pain we felt about all of it. She has been a sister to me since we were young, way before Pat and I figured our shit out.”
I feel Korn wrap his arms around me and I sigh, “Back to Wai though, we spent that night talking about both of our situations after he calmed down a little. I just told him that he could tell me anything he wanted to, and told him my story without specifics. He opened up to me then and slowly did throughout that time. Pat, on the other hand, found out in our first year of college, when our parents came to the play. After Pat and I’s parents left, after seeing each other and deciding to not do anything in public, Pat came over to me. He smiled at me and asked where Wai was, and I must have looked worried because he looked around and he saw Wai with his parents. Pat could tell right away that something was wrong. He could see the fear in Wai’s stance and body and the fake politeness of his parents. He asked me who they were and I told him.”
I smile thinking about the next part, “It made Pat respect Wai a little more, and then when Pat got shot, they talked and became closer than even Wai and I’s friendship. It still surprises me how close they are.” Korn and I laugh at that and then I continue, “Pat and I, over time have learned to make other people family because even though we care about our parents they aren’t family to us. We saw a family in Pa, Ink, Wai, and you, you all helped so much more than any of you know. You all became our closest friends, our brothers, and sisters and then Tong and Junior became an uncle and little brother. I don’t think I could ever be where I am today without all of you. Over time, we taught Wai about found family and that it can be sometimes better than the family we are born into.”
I look over at Korn and he smiles seeming to feel a lot better, with the explanation, and he then hugs me again. I hold on to them and then hear he says, “You know, I get how Wai and Pat became so close because I feel like I am closer to you than Pat sometimes. You both are my best friends, but I always know that I can come to you about anything and you will just understand completely. I love you, thank you so much best friend.”
I tear up a little and then smile and say, “You are my brother and best friend, so, I am always here for you. I love you too, but I also know someone else who loves you and is probably very worried right now so, let's fix ourselves up and go out there. Are you ready to do that?”
He just nods and starts clearing away both of our tears and starts heading to the door to the room.
PAT POV:
While I see Pran and Korn walk upstairs I turn to Wai and say, “What exactly happened?”
Wai takes a second, and then starts, “He got mad that he wasn’t going to meet my parents, and I couldn’t tell him that my parents are awful and I don’t want them to hurt him. So, I might have gotten angry and called him a hypocrite because of how he kept us a secret at first. I am glad that you interrupted us, because, I don’t know what I would have said next, it’s not entirely his fault for keeping our relationship secret at first. Also, he feels so much guilt about that time, and it was hard on both of us, I don’t even know how you did it when you and Pran were secret.” I glare at him and shake my head frustrated a little.
I watch as he seems to wait for my reaction so I say, "Okay yes, you didn't help the situation by saying that especially since that was a two-step issue. You were scared about coming out to friends and your birth family hearing, and he was scared to be completely public. I mean technically you outed you two to us even though we already knew and Korn had to do it for a more public situation. Also, from the beginning you both agreed to be secret even though he was the first to mention that he wanted it. I will not get mad at you because I am trying to help you figure this out. However, as your best friend, I am the one who is allowed to call you out on how that was not a good move and didn't make sense. I understand though, because Pran and I know about your parents and family and know what that is like. Sometimes fights bring up topics that are just hurtful and I am glad you understand that, that's what that was."
I watch as he nods and says, "I also am still sorry for back then, since I was the one who outed you two which was so awful, especially for what Korn and I were going through."
I sigh and nod my head accepting his apology, I was mad as well back then. Though, Wai, Pran, and I, have a common issue related to our childhoods that make relationships harder than most. Which is why Pran and I wanted to step in before it could get worse, than it was already sounding. Though there is something I am still confused by so I say, “I know that you were scared, but I am surprised that your childhood never came up with Korn.”
Wai seems to look away in shame almost and says, “I just still feel the pull to shut up about back then, the pull that my parents put on me. I didn’t want to still have those feelings, but it’s so scary to tell people. I mean it was hard enough, to tell you and Pran, and you have been through it as well. Think about the fact that Korn has an amazing family, and I don’t begrudge him for that, it’s just he won’t understand. We were together for a little more than a year when I met his family, completely by accident. Not only, an unexpected circumstance, but also a remarkable one. After a couple of hours, I was part of the family already and I had his siblings and parents talking to me through Line personally. Everyone teasingly calls me the ‘Favorite of the family,’ and everyone agrees with that statement. Yes, it makes me feel so happy, it’s just hard when I know that my birth family is not nice or caring and Korn would be hurt by them. I felt completely alone in my childhood, and Korn would never understand that.”
I nod my head because I understand what he is going through right now. In many ways, Pran and I are lucky that, even if it was secretly, we had each other and Pa to make sure we didn’t feel alone. I sit down on the couch and Wai sits next to me, hugging me and I hug him back. He seems to still be worrying so I comfort him to tell him he can talk again, it takes a second, but then, I hear him ask, “What do you think they are talking about?”
“Very likely, Pran is helping Korn understand all of it the way you can’t. Are you okay with that?” I say concerned that Wai would not like it.
Though, I feel so much better with the relieved smile on his face, “Yes absolutely, you and Pat, are the only ones who know it all. That is why I permitted you to tell Korn if it came to this. I knew that it would be really hard for me, so I had you two as a backup just in case I couldn’t do it. I love you both so much, and especially love you because it’s great having a best friend like you.”
I smile and hug him, “Of course, and love you too, found family sticks together-” I am about to say more, but then one of the timers goes off. So I say, “What do you think about helping me finish things in there, while they finish upstairs?” He nods, chuckling when I leap off the couch and run to the kitchen.
WAI POV:
It feels like hours, but it is probably only about 30-45 minutes for Korn and Pran to come downstairs, both smiling. I watch Pat walk over to Pran and kiss his cheek saying, “Wai and I finished most of the food, but let's finish the rest. Since the guests are only allowed to do dishes usually,” Pran rolls his eyes, but looks lovingly at his boyfriend and takes his hand heading back to the kitchen.
I chuckle slightly at how in love those two, but then turn nervous when I look at my boyfriend staring at me. I don’t know what to do until, we both say, “I’m sorry,” at the same time, making us laugh and smile at each other.
After the laughter dies down I say, “Can I start?” At his nod, I continue, “I should have told you about my family and the reasons why I didn’t want you to meet them. I am guessing you know all of it now, so I am sorry I should have been the one to tell you, but I couldn’t do it. I also am sorry for bringing up what happened back then with the secret relationship, it was not fair of me. I reacted, without thinking and I never want you to feel bad about that time again.”
He smiles and pulls me into a hug that is so comforting like I am back home and I am because this man is my home. I nuzzle my head in his neck while he says, “I accept your apology, I know you didn’t mean it at all. Pran did tell me about your family, which makes me want to protect you, and that is what I am going to do. I am just not going to go the normal way of protecting, by going after them, but instead, staying by your side for as long as you want me. So, I know they can never get close enough to you to hurt you again. Then, if they get in your head or if you start to fall for the manipulation again, I will be right here, to tell you they are wrong and you have me.”
I feel myself tear up slightly, feeling so grateful for whoever let me have this man in my life. I take his hand and say, “Thank you for loving and protecting me, I love you so much, and will never let you go. Don’t consider those people my family, they aren’t family, Pat, Pran, Ink, Pa, your family, and most importantly, you are my family. I plan to keep you all for the rest of my life and will do anything to keep all of you.”
He hugs me tighter and then pushes away slightly to hold his face and kisses my lips, it doesn’t take me long to kiss back. It is just a small kiss, a couple of pecks, but I feel the love in those kisses. Then he backs away and says, “You are my family too, my home, and the love of my life. I love you so much too.”
We smile at each other and keep smiling when Pran tells us to set the table. I feel so lucky I have him, and all of them.