Work Text:
Harry knew it was only a matter of time before he ran into Lily Potter. He knew he could not escape the inevitable. He could not pretend she didn’t exist or that he was conveniently busy every time she happened to appear. He worked with James. He lived with Sirius. It was only a matter of time.
Honestly, Harry wasn’t all too sure why Lily was the one tripping him up. Sirius…Sirius was painful, but he was getting better at separating the Sirius Harry knew and the Sirius of this time. As for James, well, Harry was too busy wigging out about being in this time when he met James that he hadn’t panicked about meeting his dad.
But now, there were no distractions and ample time for panic and overthinking.
Marley may have given him an out for Sirius’ birthday party, but she also clearly noticed his odd reluctance. She got a look on her face like she wanted to poke a sleeping dragon, just to see what would happen.
Harry should just get it over with. Rip it off like a bandaid. He was stuck in this time, he had to meet his mother eventually.
Well, maybe he’d do it later. He had quite a few files stacked up on his desk and a stack of missing person reports. That obviously took precedence over his raging internal debate of meeting his mother.
Harry banged his head on his desk with a huff.
“So, I’m not an Auror, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you do paperwork,” Marley drawled as she leaned in the doorway.
Harry sat up, glancing at the clock then at Marley. “Maybe it is. Maybe no one’s tried this yet.”
She snorted and pushed off the doorframe. “C’mon. I’m here to rescue you.”
“I’m a bit swamped here, Marley.” Harry was not that much of an idiot. Ever since his dodging Sirius’ party two weeks ago, Marley had become increasingly creative in her ways to lure him into hanging out with the others.
“An unfortunate fact of life is that work is never done. Let’s go.” She waved her wand and a slight shimmer wrapped around his files. He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t worry. It’ll wear off in a few hours.”
“Marley…”
“We’re all meeting up at the Leakey. Live a little, Fawley.” She waggled her eyebrows and Harry snorted.
Now or never. He was never going to be ready to meet Lily Potter. With one last glance at his files, Harry stood with a sigh. “Alright, you win.”
Harry wrote a note for himself when he came back into the office on where he left off and followed Marley out to the floo. “So who’s ‘we’ that we’re meeting at the Leakey?”
Harry already knew, but confirmation would be nice. And he’d like to know how big the audience was going to be for his public embarrassment. Hopefully he could keep the panic attack out of it. Marley flipped her curls over her shoulder and shrugged. “Only people I like. Well, mostly like. Sirius ruined a perfectly good The Who record and is currently in the doghouse.”
“I know a couple hexes if you want him to stop stealing your stuff,” Harry offered, knowing she wouldn’t take it. There was some weird agreement that Sirius stole things out of love and, for sake of their friendship, everyone else let him.
“Are you saying I don’t?” She grinned as she made an ‘after you’ gesture towards the floo.
Making him go first so he couldn’t back out. Smart. He had already contemplated the idea. He pursed his lips and grabbed a handful of green powder. “Leakey Cauldron.”
Harry walked into the fireplace and spun out into the Leakey Cauldron. He wasn’t expecting the nearly empty pub. In his time, the Leakey was the premier spot for after-work drinks. Tables would overflow with people catching up on the latest gossip and relaxing after work. He supposed no one wanted to be vulnerable in a public place, not with Diagon frequently targeted for attacks.
Marley stepped in behind him and looped an arm through his, tugging him towards a table in the back.
Lily Potter sat across from Remus Lupin, animatedly discussing something, red hair pulled into a messy bun, green eyes bright.
Harry faltered, only moving forward by Marley’s insistent tug. Oh dear Merlin, what did he agree to?
“I’m back!” Marley shoved Harry in the seat by Remus, sliding in next to Lily herself. “Where’s the destructive duo?”
Lily flashed a kind smile to Harry that he definitely wasn’t comparing to his own, before turning to Marley. “Out on Sirius’ bike. I told them if they get arrested again, I’m not bailing them out.”
Here was a story there of past misdemeanors. If Harry wasn’t so focused on the very interesting wood grain of the table top, then maybe he would have asked. He could feel Remus frowning at him, but he really couldn’t care.
“Great, so they’ll call me then.” Marley huffed. “Right, introductions. The magnanimous Lily Potter meet the elusive Hadrian Fawley.”
Harry gave Marley a stink eye, then dared meet very familiar green eyes. “Nice to meet you.”
Lily Potter smiled and Harry spiraled a little further into panic. “Nice to meet you too.”
Marley watched them in rapt attention. “Ooh, tell Hadrian the story of when you punched James. Not the time by the Whomping Willow, the one in the Great Hall.”
Harry didn’t have stories of his parents at Hogwarts, just tidbits and references. He knew they weren’t close at first, that James was an idiot and Lily was stubborn. He knew they grew to love each other at some point. He didn’t know how or when or why. He tried to hide his desperation for information as he asked, “Do you punch James a lot?”
“Only when he deserves it,” Marley said with a smirk.
Lily shook her head. “I don’t beat up my husband, I promise. We just…didn’t get along when we were younger.”
“Understatement of the century,” Remus muttered quietly under his breath. Not quiet enough. Lily threw him a mock glare. He held his hands up for peace. “Lily, the prefects and teachers had a protocol for whenever you two started a row.”
“They did not!”
“They did.” Marley patted her arm, consolingly. “Sirius and I placed so many bets on you throwing a hex before James even started talking.”
Harry soaked in the new information, wishing he had the courage to ask what changed. He knew his parents hated each other. Or, well, not hated. Didn’t get along. He knew things were heated. Was it like Ron and Hermione arguing with each other? Or did Lily really not like James? What made her change her mind?
But Harry couldn’t ask. Not without sounding like a stalker. He was a stranger. He shouldn’t have all this knowledge trapped in his head.
Lily buried her face in her hands, ears red in embarrassment. “I hate you all.”
“C’mon.” Marley poked her in the ribs. “Story time. I wanna hear James getting punched in the Great Hall.”
“You were there, Marley.” Lily pulled away, exasperated by her friend’s antics.
“Yeah, but it’s a great story. Hadrian wants to hear the story, don’t you, Hadrian?” Marley pinned him with a look that promised retribution should he answer anything other than the affirmative.
Well, Harry wasn’t really good at following orders. And there were things he wanted to know more than James getting hit. “Actually, I’d like to hear how you go from punching him to marrying him.”
Marley groaned. “I wouldn’t have guessed you were a romantic. Gross.”
“I think the story of how they started dating is much better than James getting pummeled.” Remus added, a mischievous grin stretching in place. “James was getting punched every other day by fifth year. Kinda got old by the end.”
“I already knew you were a sap, Lupin.” Marley huffed and crossed her arms. “Fine. Go all gooey. Lily melts when she talks about it.”
“I do not,” Lily protested, though her cheeks were still red. “And there’s really not all that much to tell. We both grew up. I went on a date to get him to stop asking and the rest is history.”
“Boo.” Marley threw a peanut at Lily from the bowl on the table. “That’s so boring!”
“It wasn’t some tragic two pence romance novel.” Lily rolled her eyes. “If you don’t like it, you tell the story.”
Marley grinned, eyes catching the light. “It started on the train to Hogwarts, two innocent kids, bound for adventure and chaos and love. Unfortunately, their first meeting was nothing but tragic woe. Fate was bent on making them mortal enemies or tragic lovers. It was raining when they met, the lightning flashing. Insults were thrown, but nothing could hide the connection between them.”
“Stop! It was nothing like that!” Lily’s face now matched her hair. Harry was really grateful he got his dad’s hair.
“It was a little like that,” Remus chimed in. The lonely marauder had a smirk that belied his typical kind demeanor.
Harry grinned, thoroughly enjoying the show. The panic slowly receded in the face of Lily’s embarrassment. She was just another person and, if he played his cards right, a potential friend. He could do this. He could push away all the million thoughts and feelings around his mom away from this Lily Potter.
“Alright, enough. Let’s talk about something else. Please.”
The music of the pub shifted to a slower song and Marley’s head snapped up to the bar, where Frank and Alice Longbottom were talking with Tom. Marley growled. “Oh no, you don’t.”
Marley stood up and stalked over, throwing hands as she talked with Frank. Harry frowned as he watched. “Uh…what's going on?”
“Marley and Frank have strong opinions on pub music. It’s a thing. Best to just let them duke it out.” Lily eyed Marley as she slammed her hand on the counter. The music flipped from slow jazz to punk rock to back again. “On second thought, Remus…”
“Yeah, I’m on it.” Remus got up and hurried over to the group.
Harry and Lily watched the group argue before she turned to him and Harry was suddenly very aware of being alone with Lily Potter and everything that entailed. A million things he wanted to stay lodged in his throat the longer the silence stretched.
He wanted to say thank you. Thank you for saving his life. Over and over and over again. He wanted to tell her how grateful he was for this opportunity to meet her, to know her, a long forgotten wish. He wanted to tell her how he hoped she was proud of him, of what he did to stop the war, of how he tried to honor her and James with his life.
For the first time Harry found himself in this time, he was nearly overcome with the desire to tell someone who he was and where he’s from, when he’s from. He’s not a mysterious Auror from the continent, he wanted to say. He’s her son. Hers and James’. He’s their son and he never knew them and he wanted to so, so badly.
“So, between Marley and James, I feel like we’ve already met,” Lily said, breaking the silence as it stretched into awkward, “but I’d love to get to know you more. James said you just transferred to the Aurors here?”
“Uh, yes, I did.” Harry mentally cursed himself. How was he supposed to tell her about himself and not make a complete fool of himself?
“Is it very different from where you’re from? I’m not sure they said where exactly.”
They did not because Harry had been very vague up until this point on where. Mainly because Harry’s knowledge of other countries was limited to Hermione’s rants and quidditch teams. “The job is pretty much the same. Although, I don’t know if anyone can compare to Alastor Moody as a boss.”
Kingsley Shacklebolt had taken over after Moody. Shacklebolt was steady and fair and a good boss, but no one could compete with the eccentric paranoia of Alastor Moody.
“Constant vigilance!” Lily dutifully recited, then shook her head with a fond smile. “Merlin, the boys were yelling that for a month when they first got assigned under Auror Moody. I started casting silencing charms in the doorway just to get a break.”
Harry snorted, opening his mouth to say how Ginny probably did something similar growing up, only to stop and remember where he was. Grief flushed through him and he wasn’t quick enough in hiding it for Lily to miss.
“Are you okay?” Lily’s kind tone cut through the grief.
He pursed his lips and did his best to wrestle the million emotions clashing inside. “Yeah. Just thinking how my fiancé would have done the same. She grew up with a lot of siblings. The house they had was always in chaos.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she said softly.
She wasn’t dead. Just gone. And if he managed to do the impossible and change history, then Ginny Weasley will never find a diary by Tom Riddle, Jr. She will never know what possession means at the tender age of eleven. She will not grow up on fantastical stories of Harry Potter.
He could be okay with that. Maybe. Well, he was working on being okay with it.
In the meantime, he offered a tight smile to Lily and steered the conversation to safe waters. “So you never actually said what changed between you and James? Why marry him if you two were at such odds?”
“It was never really one big moment,” Lily said, taking pity on him and not commenting on how rough his voice was or how he avoided her gaze. “It was a million little things that just added up until I finally recognized he was no longer the obnoxious little boy I met on the train.”
Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He thought about Ginny, how she was Ron’s little sister until one day she wasn’t. And she hadn’t changed but everything else had. He thought that he had been like his dad, falling in love at the drop of a hat, but maybe he had been more like his mom, falling slowly until he woke up one day and realized there could be no one else.
“We were head boy and head girl our last year,” Lily continued. “And, you might not have noticed yet, but James is a huge mother hen with a penchant for adopting strays. He was such an amazing head boy, taking care of the first years and sneaking hot chocolate from the kitchen for all the homesick kids.”
“He’s basically brand new to the Aurors but he still tries sneaking snacks to all the Aurors on long shifts.” Harry grinned. These were things he never knew about his parents. A thousand stories and mannerisms that died with them.
He met Lily’s eyes and it was suddenly too much. Being here. Talking with his mom. Thinking of all the things that could have been. He could vividly picture what it would have been like to have James and Lily as his parents, growing up with them and Sirius and Remus and Marley. Would he be born in this time if he messed with things? Would watching his counterpart be more or less painful than this meeting?
“I won against the tyrant. Relish with me!” Marley skipped back over to the table. Remus was smiling, carrying a tray of drinks for the table.
Harry stood, fingers drumming on the table, desperate to expel the frantic energy somehow. “I’ve got some errands to run. Thanks for the invite.”
“What?” Marley pouted. “But we haven’t gotten drunk and confessed our undying love for each other yet.”
“Next time,” Harry promised, with no real intention of following through.
Marley glanced between him and Lily and back again, head tilting in confusion. Lily stood hesitantly and offered, “If you want, I can go. You deserve a break, Hadrian.”
Oh, blimey. He screwed up. He screwed up so bad.
“It’s not- you haven’t-” Harry grimaced, took a deep breath, and tried again. “It’s been a long day. I promise, next time you invite me out, I’ll stay long enough to drag home whoever passes out first.”
“James.” Marley and Remus said at the same time.
Lily faltered, but nodded, smiling politely. “Sounds like a plan. It was really great meeting you, Hadrian.”
“It was really great meeting you too, Lily.” Harry tried smiling back, maybe he succeeded. He was too focused on not breaking, on not blurting out every secret, every misdeed, every painful memory to her. He was trying too hard to not look like he was running away.
Maybe next time Harry could manage to stay for drinks.
Bonus Scene: Lily’s Reaction
Lily Potter watched as Hadrian Fawley fled the pub like a man fleeing dementors. She sat back down at the table and rested her chin in her hand, puzzling over the mystery that was Hadrian Fawley.
Lily did not have Marley’s skill with people, but she was also not completely obtuse. Well, mostly. And what she saw of Hadrian confused her. His eyes spoke of old trauma and a hard life despite being only a few years older than their little group. He spoke with care and precision, as if each word could destroy the world. He was dangerous too, sharp and twitchy as only an Auror who spent too long on the field could be.
And, for whatever reason, Hadrian seemed absolutely terrified of her.
“What’d you say that got him to run away?” Marley said, sliding onto the bench with her as Remus sat across from them. She pouted, taking her pint of firewhiskey. “I only left you alone for, like, five minutes!”
She rolled her eyes. “We just made small talk. I talked about James. He mentioned his fiancé. There was talk about his work…”
Had she run him off? It was hard to know what conversational landmines to avoid during war. It seemed everything could lead back to death or loss.
No. No, Hadrian had been tense when he arrived. Maybe something had happened at work? James and Sirius had rough days that left them tense and jumpy.
“I wanted to find out if he was a happy or a sad drunk.” Marley huffed and took a sip. “And I wanted to pit Remus and Hadrian in a karaoke battle.”
Remus sent a flat glare in her direction. “I don’t sing, Marley.”
“I have a photograph from Yule a few years ago that disagrees with that statement.” Marley grinned viciously. Remus stuck his tongue out at her as Marley turned back to Lily. “So what’d you think of Hadrian?”
“I think he seems lonely,” Lily said idly, still staring at the door he disappeared through. He lost his fiancé and, they hadn’t touched on his old friends, clearly no one had followed him to Britain. “And James has practically adopted him already, so he’ll have to get used to me.”
She hoped he would grow to like this group of friends. She hoped Hadrian wouldn’t be skittish and resistant for long. James really liked Hadrian and he had a really good instinct for people. Not necessarily good people, but people who needed community and care. Hadrian needed both.
Well, she would just have to be extra welcoming and kind. James wasn’t the only one who could be a mother hen. Lily would mother Hadrian until he accepted he was one of them now.