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Edmund has a long list of the pros and cons, which he uses to formulate a plan.
It’s all very secretive, of course. Lots of password-protected files on his computer so his siblings can’t snoop.
It’s not like he thinks they’ll have a problem with it.
Susan is a lesbian and everyone was fine when she told them. Happy, even. (Everyone knew, and he kind of thinks that everyone knows about him, but that’s not enough; he still has to say it.)
The only problem is he’s pretty sure he’s on a time restraint.
He needs to tell them before New York Pride, or else Peter and Susan will never let him hear the end of it. (His parents and Lucy will be fine, but still.)
But it’s just such a big production.
If he says it over dinner, it’s a whole thing.
If he tells everyone individually, then he’s telling some of them before the others, and how does he pick who to tell first?
Maybe he’ll just write “I’M GAY” on his forehead. Or start wearing a lot of rainbows.
Or kiss a boy in front of them
You know. If there were any boys who wanted to kiss him, which he’s pretty sure there are not.
In the end, he blurts it out in the (rental) minivan on the way to their (rental; again, they’re not rich) vacation house (which they’ll be sharing with his weird aunt and uncle and annoying cousin).
He can’t even tell you what actually prompts it, but the words just come out: “By the way, I’m gay.”
His mom, to her credit, does not crash into the car in front of them.
Lucy, annoyingly, reaches over to hug him as best she can without taking off her seatbelt.
“Well,” his dad says.
“That’s great!” Peter says, sounding a little too enthusiastic.
“Thank you for confiding in us,” his mom says.
“I’m gay. I’m not dying, or anything. Susan’s gay, too.”
“You should be a detective,” Susan says.
“I”m just saying. It’s not like I thought you guys would react badly. It’s just – weird to say it.”
“Either way, thank you,” his dad says.
“This doesn’t change anything,” his mom says.
The look Susan gives him tells him that she’s lying: it’s going to make things way more annoying. At least for a little while.
He can already picture his mother trying to set him up with cute guys.
Ugh, god.
“I don’t care if we tell Alberta and Harold or Eustace,” Edmund says.
“Oh, they’re all very progressive,” his mom says, which is a nice way of saying weird.
“They have Eustace call them by their names,” Lucy says.
“Lucy.”
“It’s true!”
“Happy for you, Ed,” Susan says. Then she grins wickedly. “I bet you’re dying to go to Pride together.”
Yeah, that’s definitely going to happen. No way out now.
“Why don’t we all go?” he asks, meeting her challenge with one of his own. “As a family?”
“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea!” his mom says.
“Why not invite the Scrubbs while we’re at it?” Susan counters.
“Why not just the Scrubbs? Hasn’t Eustace got a girlfriend, or something?”
“Not a girlfriend,” Lucy says. “They’re just friends.”
“Honestly, Edmund, he’s eleven.”
“Peter had girlfriends when he was eleven.”
“That doesn’t really count,” Peter says, because of course he does.
“I do like Jill…” Lucy says. “Pride could be fun with all of us.”
When Susan gives him a dirty look, Edmund just grins.