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“You need to stop eating that shit, man.” Dennis said, brushing away some nuts that Mac had managed to get on his side of the bed. He grimaced at Mac, his blotchy red face and swollen lips.
“Get off my ass, dude.” Mac shot back, shoveling another handful of cheap, disgusting nuts into his mouth, at least five falling onto their shared mattress. Dennis groaned, brushing those nuts onto the floor as well.
“I genuinely do not understand why you won’t stop eating those.” Dennis muttered as he crawled into bed next to Mac. Their current sleeping arrangement was probably something he should’ve argued against, sleeping next to his wheezing, probably dying roommate left a lot to be desired. He hadn’t argued against it though, he didn’t even make a snide comment, he just went along with it. He didn’t question why Mac hadn’t blown up another couch-slash-bed, or why Mac had also sold their beds to get this singular inflatable couch, Dennis just nodded his head and smiled.
“I need to keep my nut up, Dennis. You know this.” Mac said it like it was obvious, like Dennis was stupid for even implying that maybe he should stop eating these nuts that were, quite actually, putting him in danger. Dennis had to resist the urge to grab that stupid can of nuts out of Mac’s hand and throw it across their apartment.
“I don’t know this, actually. Because keeping your nut up has absolutely nothing to do with eating nuts, nuts that are actively killing you, by the way.” Dennis was actually starting to get a little angry, not even because Mac was being a bumbling idiot (which he was, by the way), but because if Mac died because of these nuts? Dennis would be so mad. Dennis would have to call the police and say “Hello, 911? My roommate would not stop eating nuts that he was allergic to and he went into shock and died in our bed.” (He probably would leave out the word “our”, because, y’know).
Mac didn’t even reply to that, and Dennis knew it was because he was right. Dennis almost screamed when he saw Mac reaching into the tin again. This time, Dennis was done.
“No. No more. You’re done, Mac.” Dennis said, grabbing the fancy nuts out of Mac’s hand and throwing them across the apartment. The loud noise of the metal tin hitting the ground made him wince, grabbing onto Mac instinctively. It was embarrassing, to say the least.
“What the hell, man?” Mac shouted at Dennis, gesturing wildly with his hands, seemingly ignoring the fact that Dennis was still grabbing onto his arm.
It was strange, but that upset Dennis a bit. Hell, a year or two ago? If Dennis had even touched Mac at all the guy would probably pass out. It’s not like Dennis wanted Mac to want him, though. Not at all.
Dennis pulled his hand away slowly.
“Those nuts were going to kill you, Mac.” Dennis said, taking a deep breath to keep himself from snapping and calling Mac a fool.
“It was just the plastic, man!” Mac was angry, but Dennis could’ve cared less.
“It was not just the plastic, Mac! It was not! Plastic doesn’t make your whole face swell and shit!” Dennis gestured at Mac’s face, which seemingly got even more swollen since he had last checked. “I can actually guarantee to you that if you hadn’t been eating those damn nuts all day that you wouldn’t look and feel like shit right now.”
Mac was quiet for a second.
“You think I look like shit?” Mac was looking at Dennis with those stupid puppy eyes now. He looked particularly pathetic in the moment, both because of the sad look in Mac’s eyes and because of the way his face was swelling. Dennis sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“If I say that you look like shit will you stop eating the damn nuts?” Dennis huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at Mac. “Because you do. You’re starting to look grotesque, Mac. Your face is red and swollen and it makes me nauseous to look at.”
“Oh.” Mac said, frowning a bit (as well as he could with the state that his face was currently in). “Well… I guess if you think I look so bad, I’ll stop eating the nuts.”
Dennis sighed in relief, laying back down on the bed.
“Thank you, Mac.” Dennis shook his head, he was kind of in disbelief. Mac probably could’ve died if he didn’t stop eating those nuts, and all Dennis had to say was that it made him look gross. “Thank you for not killing yourself over a can of nuts.” Dennis laughed quietly, the silence in the room was uncomfortable.
“I’m not cleaning those up though. I already cut myself trying to clean your blender this morning.” Mac grumbled, not even looking at Dennis anymore.
“Yeah, whatever, I’ll clean it.” Dennis said, patting Mac’s side of the bed, trying to get him to lay down next to him. Mac did as Dennis silently instructed, laying down next to him. Dennis smiled softly, inching slightly closer to Mac on the bed. The sound of the rubber squeaking made it painfully obvious.
Dennis was struck with a dizzying feeling of déjà vu. It felt like when him and Mac had shared a bed for the first time, Dennis laying like a stiff board as Mac gazed softly at him. They had switched now. Mac was the one laying stiff and unmoving as Dennis analyzed him, watched the struggling rise and fall of Mac’s chest.
“What are you doing, Dennis?” Mac spoke quietly, his voice laced with a strange sadness. Mac looked over at Dennis with those same puppy dog eyes.
“I thought if I got closer that it would be easier to tell if you stop breathing.” The lie leaves Dennis’ mouth with ease, most lies usually did, but most lies didn’t make him feel guilty like this one.
“I’m not dying, Den.” Mac muttered. “You don’t have to be this close if you don’t want to, I know how grotesque I look.” Dennis cringed, hearing his own words used against him did not make him feel good by any means.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Do I?” Dennis sighed, scooting away from Mac. Again, the sound made it extremely obvious.
“Fine, y’know what? You can be like that. I can just blow up another couch and sleep in my room, okay?” Dennis sat up in bed. He was bluffing for the most part, he really didn’t want to leave Mac out here alone. He didn’t want to sleep in his room, his room ran cold, it was warmer in the living room.
Maybe he was just telling himself that instead of facing the actual truth, he wanted to sleep next to Mac because Mac was there. It didn’t have shit to do with the temperature of his room (which Dennis actually preferred cold). He just wanted to be near Mac, he wanted to make up for how much of a dick he’d been for the past few fucking years.
Dennis was about to get up when he heard Mac take a breath, and then he felt Mac’s hand on his arm. The hair stood up on the back of Dennis’ neck.
“Don’t do that.” Mac mumbled, pulling his hand away much too soon for Dennis’ liking. “Lay back down. The bed is too big for just me.” Now Mac was the one making excuses, and they both knew that, but as long as neither of them spelled it out they wouldn’t have to talk about it.
Dennis was okay with that for now.
Dennis and Mac laid there for a bit, shoulder to shoulder.
“I don’t think you’re grotesque looking. At least not usually.” Dennis spoke quietly, finally settling into the bed properly. “You’re good looking. Not godlike, but y’know, good.” He had to make the compliment backhanded or else he would’ve scared himself.
“Thanks, Den.” The nickname made Dennis’ face go warm, and he was so thankful that they were in the dark.
Dennis’ breath caught as Mac’s hand brushed against his own. Dennis prayed Mac didn’t hear over the sound of his own wheezing.
Dennis laid there, nearly paralyzed, as Mac’s hand slowly grasped Dennis’. Hesitantly, Dennis laced his fingers with Mac’s. It was strange just how much this affected Dennis, hell, Dennis didn’t feel anything like this when Mac watched his tapes. This drove him crazy, though. The only thing he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears.
It was just the two of them, side by side in their apartment, no buffer, no goofy one liner, just them.
It could just be the fact that they’re tired, could be completely platonic, just two guys holding hands. Holding hands in their shared bed, in their shared apartment.
They both knew it was more than that, Dennis could feel it, the way Mac’s thumb brushed over Dennis’ knuckle, like he was exploring the possibility of this something more.
Mac let go of Dennis’ hand, and Dennis only had a second to mourn the loss of that warmth before he heard the squeaking of the rubber. Mac was laying on his side now, looking at Dennis with that same look he had given him the first time they’d shared a bed, but this time Dennis loved it.
The mattress squeaked again as Mac shifted closer, slowly wrapping his arm around Dennis’ waist, resting his head on his chest. Dennis’ breath hitched once again, before steadying. He didn’t even mind the wheezing anymore.
Dennis wasn’t used to this, physical affection without getting something more out of it, but he wasn’t complaining by any means.
Slowly, Dennis’ hand crept down to the small of Mac’s back. It felt so weirdly natural to be like this, despite how much he would’ve hated the thought of it just a year ago.
He moved his hand back up, resting it on Mac’s head, gently playing with his hair. He listened to Mac’s breathing, no longer as labored, and Dennis wondered for a moment if Mac had fallen asleep.
“Hey, Den?” Apparently not.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” And Dennis smiled.
“I love you too, man.”