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Luigi glared at the koopa in front of him. This was what, like the 7th time he’d gotten kidnapped dressed as Princess Peach?
He could tell Bowser’d caught onto his disguise this time but the king still hadn’t let on that he knew.
Now Luigi was wearing Peach’s wedding dress and standing at the alter, playing the world’s longest game of gay chicken as Kamek got closer and closer to the ‘I do’s. His feet hurt from being in heels the entire time and the blond wig kept falling into his face.
‘Miserabile figlio di puttana,’ Luigi thought, Bowser’s smug mug staring at him from behind the other side of the veil.
Fine.
If he was gonna be petty and force the plumber to go along with the whole ceremony, thinking Luigi’d be the one to admit he was in disguise, he had another thing coming.
He was a younger sibling, two could play at that game.
“And do you, King Bowser, take this human, to be your awfully wedded partner?”
Bowser chuckled, lifting the veil to smirk at his feisty bride to be. ‘A shame really,’ he thought, looking into the other’s baby blues and reaching a claw towards the medical mask he wore. ‘Red’s brother makes for a pretty cute princess.’
“I do.”
‘Mario’s probably gonna be here any minute. Greenie better hurry up and unmask himself before I do it for him.’
BANG!
Speak of the devil.
The chapel’s double doors slammed open as the older plumber entered the scene. “Let-a go of my-a baby bro, King Koopa!”
“Gwahahaha! Crashing the wedding, Mario? That’s tacky, even for y- GACK!”
Bowser’s monologue was cut short as Luigi yanked the king to his level (having signed the marriage certificate while he was gloating), ripping the medical mask and wig off with a flourish.
“I-a do.”
Without further ado, the dress clad man with a fist full of purple ribbon stared into Bowser’s eyes and gave him the haughtiest look he could muster.
‘Go big or go home,’ Luigi shrugged mentally. And Bowser was the biggest thing in here so...
“Prepara quelle labbra, maritino~.”
“The hell’re you say-MMPPHH?!?!”
“Goodness!” Kamek squawked, everyone else gaping as the two made out at the alter.
Bowser groaned at the feeling of Luigi’s tongue sliding against his own, eyes fluttering shut as his knees went weak, one of them thudding to the ground so he wouldn’t fall over since the plumber was still clinging to his ribbon.
“Hnnnggh.”
Someone coughed in the background.
Oh wow, they were, uh... really going at it.
At least until a pair of comfortable shoes made contact with Luigi’s head. Bowser’s eyes snapped open with a yelp when the shorter man reflexively bit the tip of his tongue.
“Weegee!” Mario waved, tired of awkwardly standing around. Luigi let go of Bowser’s ribbon, the flustered king losing his balance and staggering onto the carpeted floor.
Quickly kicking his high heels off and slipping on the shoes, the green plumber glanced over his shoulder. Bowser felt like he couldn’t breathe as his new consort looked down at him and grinned, figure backlit by the light of chapel’s stained glass.
“See you-a soon, mio re~.”
With a wink and a swish of skirt his skirts he was gone. Mario rolled his eyes at his brother’s performance and sprinted after him, Luigi’s laughter echoing down the hall as Bowser watched in a daze.