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It starts with Bianca. It starts with her accepting the Hunters offer without hesitation, abandoning Nico without a thought in the world. Nico doesn't know how to be alone.
They bring him to camp (which was terrifying by itself), and when Nico tries to follow Bianca into cabin 8, Zoe’s arm blocks his entry.
“Nico…” Bianca starts, a mixture of sympathy and irritation in her eyes. “This cabin is only for the Hunters.”
“But–”
“Hunters only, child,” Zoe scoffs. She rolls her eyes, “Maybe you can find somewhere else to sleep, without bothering us.”
Nico tries to protest more, but Percy grabs his arm to steer him towards the Hermes cabin.
“Can’t I stay with you?” Nico almost pleads.
“Sorry Nico,” Percy says. “Until we know your parent, you have to stay in cabin 11.”
And Nico is alone again, in a cabin full of kids, who all stare at him with expressions ranging from disgust, to pity, to indifference. No one talks to him, not even Travis or Connor, the boys Percy introduces him to. They simply point to a spot on the floor, where Nico dumps his backpack and sleeping bag.
Nico doesn't care what time it is, he curls into his sleeping bag and fights back tears, shivering and overheating at the same time. And he's alone.
The Hunters are given a quest, and Nico prays and prays and prays that Bianca is not chosen to go with them. They can spend time together, and maybe it'll hurt less when she eventually leaves. That is, until she does go on the quest.
Nico eventually realizes that Percy chases after them too, and with Grover and Thalia on the quest, Nico is alone. It’s fine , Nico thinks. They’ll be back in no time.
The Hermes kids never stop giving him weird looks. They treat him differently, like he’s not one of them. He knows he’s not, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting when they purposefully don’t include him. His father still hasn’t claimed him, but he remembers snippets of him, like his hard jaw and soft laugh.
Any attempt to make friends is futile - no one wants to befriend the new kid, he knows that. He counts down the days to the winter solstice when the quest group is set to return, works on his sword fighting, and ignores the stares and speculations from other campers.
When they do finally return, Nico finds Percy and asks, “Where’s my sister?”
And Nico is alone.
The only thing going through Nico’s mind is walk . Walk away from them all, away from Camp Half-Blood, away from Percy, away from Bianca , who Nico is convinced told Percy to lie to him, so she didn’t have to come back for him. He hopes his stunt was enough to keep anyone from chasing after him, and when no one does, Nico is alone.
He journeys through the labyrinth, and while he is accompanied by Minos, Nico knows he doesn’t have any worthy company. He tries to drown out anything Minos says, though that unfortunately means he's only left with his thoughts.
Percy promised . He promised to keep Bianca safe, he promised to bring her back to Nico. As far as Nico is concerned, Percy is a liar, and a murderer .
Nico doesn't let the silence get to him, after Minos realizes he’s not listening and finally goes quiet. Nico doesn’t count his steps, his breaths, his beating heart. He doesn't listen to any crumbling walls behind him, and he certainly doesn't perk up when he hears voices from a distance. He likes being alone.
When he emerges at Geryon’s farm with Annabeth, Grover, and Percy, Nico is not relieved to see living people. He doesn't care. He likes being alone.
Nico does not thank them when they destroy the labyrinth, even if it does free him from Minos’ manipulation. Frankly, he could have handled it on his own, like he does everything else.
It's a year before Nico receives contact from anyone at Camp Half-Blood. He doesn't care. He could've gone the rest of his life without hearing from them. He has Hazel now, not that he needs her company. She depends on him, that's all. He has hazel, and he has Frank, and he doesn’t need anyone from Camp Half-Blood.
He helps Percy, and he convinces his father to participate in the Battle of Manhattan, and he glows when Percy thanks him, because they couldn’t have done it without him . Without Nico, who trained alone, grew up alone, became one of the most powerful demigods in the world alone .
“There’s a spot for you at camp,” Percy says to him. “You don’t have to be on your own anymore, Nico.”
“Thanks,” Nico lies. “But I like being alone. I always have.”
Percy doesn't believe him, but he lets Nico go anyway.
Nico knows he has a place at both camps, but that doesn't stop him from camping out in forests, spending his days and nights alone, while occasionally dropping into Camp Jupiter to check on Hazel, and when Hazel introduces him to an amnesiac Percy, he disappears. He’d rather be alone.
He'd rather be alone while he ventures into Tartarus, hours, days, however long passing by while he treks the nightmarish grounds. He'd rather be alone while he practically passes out from exhaustion, from thirst. He’d rather be alone while he faces Nyx, terrorized by her aura and the fog that lifted from in front of his eyes. Yes, he’d rather be alone in the bronze jar, the hunger gnawing at him, the daze of his stepmother’s berries clouding his thoughts, the cramped space wearing on his joints.
He’d rather be alone, because Nico prefers his own company. He'd rather be alone, because anyone else would drag him down. He'd rather be alone, because he knows what he can handle.
He’d rather be alone, because Nico would never wish that on anyone else.
When Piper frees him from the jar, his brain foggy and his stomach rumbling and his throat feeling like sandpaper, Nico would rather…
Nico doesn’t want to be alone.
Not anymore.