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Maybe loneliness pushed him to do it. Or maybe jealousy? No matter what it is, Aster has already put up that one box in front of the post-office.
"Drop your unwanted feelings for an emotionless man."
Lame, he admits. But it was better than nothing. Aster has tried again and again, searching the websites, organizations, even cults; is there someone out there like him? That always had dull days pass and had no choice but to suffer through every one of them. There was one thing he did best.
Pretend feelings.
Acting. A fake smile that looked very, very genuine to any who'll receive it, but Aster never knew the meaning behind a smile. All he knew was that it meant 'happy'. So one day, his brain did not register the emotion in his friend's face when they were smiling yet there was pain in their eyes as tears continued to pool from them. He was bewildered. What emotion was it? And it got him all the more curious, more wanting to feel it, even when he's already perfected faking each emotion he knew of. Turns out, he's barely made any progress into learning what they mean.
Aster sat by the bench just across the post-office, watching as people passed by his donation box, not minding it. He sat there for days only to end up disappointed that his box is still empty. The eighth day waiting, Aster notices something. There were tiny star-like lights trailing behind each person but it seemed like no one else could see it. There were an array of colors; green, blue, there were a lot of the red, and a few of yellow. It amazed him so much, he forgot to check his donation box.
There was one person with the most colors. It seemed like the rainbow followed him everywhere, and there was a bounce in his step. Aster had unknowingly followed him, trying to touch the floating stars that trailed after the man. Upon his fingers grazing the tip of a yellow one, it disappears. He paused for a moment trying to figure out what he had just done, but in the next second, he felt his chest tighten and a burst of energy flowed through his muscles, then he found himself chuckling. His hands flew up to his mouth and a lady beside him smiled. "Your emotions must be bursting with pure happiness today, young man! Ah, to be young again."
"It hurts," he thought. It hurts to keep smiling all the time but now he's finding out what it meant. That man was happy because he had a date, an excitement, something to look forward to. And it poured every ounce of that feeling into Aster's heart. He didn't know what he was looking forward to, maybe nothing, after all, he had just stolen that man's emotions. But he doesn't know how insidious it should feel. After all, he doesn't know what that feels yet .
In his rising happiness, he forgets all about his donation box, although someone had dropped something in there, he never came back that day anymore to learn of it. He enjoys the emotion that is not his.
However, the feeling starts fading by dinner time and he thinks that he wants more. Aster thinks that it tasted quite delectable. He craves more . He might as well take some for his dinner meal.
So Aster finds his way to a crowded street and reaches for another colored star-like light. Purple! Oh what a pretty color. He watches the light fade in the air and waits for something. Anything.
"What does purple mean?" he thought.
After another few seconds, he felt confident. Like he could walk up to anyone and start a conversation, like how any other person would do it. He usually wouldn't. Aster isn't very sociable and keeps to himself, the few times he had to socialize were times he could practice his fake smiles and a show of empathy when he does not know what they really were for.
But even if that light gave him confidence, he chose to go back home and keep the emotion to himself. So he does not use it so he wouldn't lose it so fast.
Aster was enjoying these feelings. It was addictive. He could drown in them for a whole day, weeks even, or…"I can keep taking them. There….there's so much for people out there, why would they not share?" He smiled. It was an amazing idea. No one told Aster that it was illegal to steal emotions but he knew that he's free to take anyone else's.
Besides, Aster is confident right now. What would stop him?
The post office, the library, and the small restaurant by the corner just across the train station. He saw stars. They glittered so brilliantly that they could compete with the night sky.
"It's ironic." Aster thinks. "My name means star yet not one star was formed from my heart."
Bitterly smiling, he knew he'd already accepted his fate a long time ago. But now he had a chance. Aster knows how it feels to be happy, and confident. And he thinks, "If I gather enough of each color, I wouldn't run out for weeks."
His eyes drink upon the colors that surround him as he reaches out his hand, not moving, yet he somehow collects them. Emotions.
It was crowded and all Aster had to do was let the stars touch the tip of his fingers and he'd feel something coursing through his body. Like he was being charged. If he looks behind him now, he has his own trail of colors. The same rainbow in the sky is right at his fingertips.
Days pass as Aster continues upon his quest of taking emotions. As he walks through the familiar streets, Aster sees a familiar man. The prism, another rainbow, the same man he took happiness from!
His feet automatically take him to the man and follow his instinct. But Aster stops when he's close enough.
The man's rainbow was merely a few spots of blue and red. Slumped shoulders presented to Aster, he frowns. He remembers this man having so many of them. Where are they now? He felt frustrated. He got excited for no reason, this man just wasted another star from Aster. He rolls his eyes and turns away.
For the next few days, Aster spends his time stealing emotions, sometimes he would grab a bunch of them, no care for the person who just lost their feelings. He enjoyed them too much to care for what others felt.
Once he had collected enough, he's exhausted and his shoulder felt heavy. He realizes all these emotions had to be placed somewhere or he will have to carry them all the time. His shoulders were already inflamed. Emotions can be so… heavy sometimes.
That's when Aster remembers his box. He jogs to the post office, seeing that the box had fallen to the ground, dirty and battered. It makes him all the more angered. It seems that people just don't care or they're so selfish for emotions to share. He strode to his box and picked it up, surprised at how heavy it was.
"Did someone use it as storage?"
Aster carries it all the way home and finally opens the lid.
A burst of light explodes into his face, Aster stumbles backwards as he watches all the stars pour out of the box, colors littered the floor and on his dining table, and he stood there, awestruck. How could anyone have this much emotion to give?
A light touches the tip of his toes, and just like a magnet, the others follow it into Aster's body. He tries to leave the room, hoping he wouldn't absorb all the glittering emotions. But it followed him, as if a jar that was full, they didn't enter his body but just….follows him. Like the people outside.
"Like the people outside." He thought
The feelings that started blooming within him felt like it was his, not anyone else's. It doesn't feel…stolen. These emotions; they're empty of memory.
Aster had taken feelings from others, their feeling of excitement upon getting a gift from someone or expectation for a promise. "But this," Aster thought. "These are my emotions!"
Aster drops to the ground, reaching over to scoop the shimmering lights into his palms and staring at them for who knows how long. After a while, he just starts crying.
It was a relief. He didn't need to steal someone else's emotions to feel.
The next day, Aster returned to the doors of the post office again, eager to know who it was, giving him all the emotions to the point the box got full. Even Aster's heart felt full and he couldn't help but smile to himself whenever he imagined someone coming by just to drop off a star. Who could it be? Or, is there more than one person? Do people actually care?
"Excuse me?"
"Yes!" Aster replied. He turned to the guy that tapped on his shoulder. A taller man with short black hair and teal blue eyes was smiling at him. "Did you happen to see who it was that took the box from here?"
"Box?"
The guy scratches the back of his head and chuckles nervously. "You see, uh…It was a purple box with a sign that says-"
"Drop your unwanted feelings for an emotionless man….right?"
The person smiles and nods his head. "Yes, that's it! I've always dropped some in there whenever I pass by, do you donate to him as well?"
"...Donate to him.."Aster mumbles, smiling brightly at the man before him. "I am him!"
"Oh!" The other beams, "Oh. So you've taken the box already? But why? I've got so much to-"
Aster holds out his hand. "I've been wondering! How…how can you give that much? You have-" Aster looks behind the man and lets out a small shriek at the amount of stars that hang behind him. "You have…so many."
"I know. Heh. I actually tried offering my friends but they said they didn't want my, um, feelings."
Aster just looks at him, a smile on his face. They both stood there, not knowing what to say until Aster held a hand out.
"I'm Aster, by the way. Aster Arcadia."
The guy chuckles and says, "Even your name sounds very…meaningful. I wonder why you didn't have emotions." He takes Aster's outstretched in his clammy ones. "My name is Ren Zotto."
Aster lets out a giggle. "Hey, wanna get lunch together? I know someone who owns a small restaurant downtown."
"Sure. Hey, how's the…feelings?"
Aster doesn't let go of Ren's hand as they walk through the streets to their destination. "Oh, them? You gave me so much that they started forming more feelings. You know, my shoulder feels heavy now that there's so much."
"Oh, did I give too much?" Ren scratches his head nervously.
"Hm? I was just kidding. I don't mind the weight, it came from you after all ."
Ren smiled down at him and he finally understood. One smile reassures him that he is going to be fine, even if he loses all the emotions he had right now, if this man was beside him, he thought that he'll be just fine.
Ren is his emotions.