Work Text:
I don’t want to talk about me right now. You probably know every move I make, considering the afterlife might be an alternative of walking around invisible wherever you’d like to. That sounds like something you would have enjoyed quite a lot before you left us. Before you left me. Did you really leave me?
I would have told you that life is good, but that would have been a lie. I’m getting older, four-eyes. My time might be over soon, and I’m fine with that. Fourteen years without you, huh? How much longer can a man wait. That wasn’t a question, that was rhetorical, and you might notice that since I didn’t add a question mark. I’m getting good at this writing thing, don’t you think? Thank you for teaching me. Don’t expect me to thank you again.
There hasn’t been a day without you on my mind. Not ever since I met you when we still had mobility in our joints. For way past 20 years, you’ve crossed my mind, and it will never be enough. They say you forget people’s faces after a while, but I refuse to forget yours.
I’ve forgotten a lot, yet that arched nose and those beautiful eyes permanently burned themselves into my brain. I’ll admit I remember studying your face way too much. At least I don’t regret looking at you too much.
Shit, who am I kidding? I am still hopelessly in love with the memory of you. I never got to say it out loud, at least not to you, and I’m sorry I never told you how much I love you. People would have said loved. Those people are also the same people who would be able to find someone else to love. I’m not one of them. I’m a Levi. A Levi doesn’t blend well with a people.
I see you wherever I go. That’s why I can’t go back there, I would remember the exact spots you stood in, the exact spots you sat in, and the exact spots you crawled around on. I’d remember you, and I’d start violently sobbing. I probably wouldn’t let myself do that, but I feel guilty for letting you go and that sounds like something you would like to hear. It makes me feel better thinking like that.
I see you in the flowers that grow by the nearby lighthouse. Someone owns it, and it’s not a shop, however I find myself window-shopping there every week. The flowers that grow up from the ground outside of the construction aren’t supposed to be there. They’re just weeds. Weeds reminds me of you. Messy and able to barge in at the worst times. Someone likes to remove weeds, but I could never do that. I could never remove you.
I see you in the flying boats swimming across the sky. They’re flying more frequent now, for fun apparently, which I don’t understand but you definitely would. You saw the fun in the things I found strange. You should have been on that plane. Of all the people in the world, you should have been on that fucking plane. I’d send all the brats into their deaths at once for us to go back in time and get you on that plane.
I can’t do this much longer. Why couldn’t I look at you!
I should have kissed you, I should have been on my knees, begging you to stay. At the beginning of all this, I thought I’d get over the knot twisting in my stomach every time I thought of you. A year went by, and then another. That was when I realised, I’d never have anyone like you by my side again.
You were my right eye, and I was your left.
Whenever I touch my face, I think of you. You’re behind this thin scar, you’re the reason I’m still alive. You patched me up so nicely.
My Hange. My shitty glasses.
I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before. I love you to the point where I’ve been physically sick multiple times because of the pain. It hurts so much to love you, and I don’t want anything more than to see you again. Please wait for me. I’ll be there soon.
WILL
All my belongings are to be settled with Gabi Braun and Falco Grice.
-
“Uh, you don’t want anything more to be in your will?”
Pieck looked up from the desk of Levi’s apartment, towards the older man currently looking out of the window with his back turned against her. She had no intention of commenting on his will in the first place, if he hadn’t accidentally given her two papers on top of the short will as well.
She wasn’t surprised, but the confession still shocked her. Fourteen years without mentioning any of that. She could only have guessed.
“My belongings are all labelled in envelopes and boxes with names on them. I’m sure the couple will give them to their rightful owners.”
“Oh, uh, well you need to sign this, Levi.”
“It’s already signed.”
Pieck removed her hand from where it was covering the paper at the end. Tears formed in her eyes as she audibly gasped.
‘Levi Zoe’