Work Text:
Eda hated potions delivery days. She had to wander all around Bonesborough, go to weird people’s weird houses, and frequently had to deal with people trying to rip her off thanks to her being a younger potioneer. She had to wake up before Raine, and that bastard would just roll over in the nest and fall back asleep after telling her to have a good day. She was tempted to magic a spray of water right at their face, but somehow refrained. It was proof of true love, because anyone else, she wouldn’t have bothered with the restraint.
So yeah, today was already a bad day, because it was a potions delivery day. Fortunately (or unfortunately for their stash of snails), she hadn’t had too many orders so far this week, and she was almost done. There was just one delivery left, and then she was home free. She couldn’t wait to kick back and make Raine wait on her hand and foot, as they’d promised to do when she’d complained about the run the night before.
“If you go without complaining in the morning, I’ll be your servant for the day,” they’d said. Eda was quick to agree. She could have a lot of fun with that.
With her eye on the prize, Eda didn’t have her eyes on the road in front of her, and bumped straight into another witch, falling backwards at the impact.
“Watch where you’re going, you imbecile!” came a strangely familiar voice. “Oh. It’s you.” Well, that tone surely gave away who it was.
“Odalia,” Eda greeted with a nod, pushing herself to stand up. “I didn’t know they let you out of prison. A lethal amount of being an ass, was it?”
“Very funny,” Odalia said, rolling her eyes. That’s when Eda noticed the hand over her stomach, and the size of said stomach. That must have been what knocked her over. Damn, she was big.
“You got fat ,” Eda said, cackling. Once more, Odalia just rolled her eyes.
“If you must know, I’m pregnant. With twins,” she smirked, as though this somehow made her better than Eda. She probably thought it did.
“Who’s the sorry son of a bitch who has to deal with your hormones?” Eda asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Alador and I have been together since school, how could you not know this?” Odalia replied, glaring slightly.
“Well I’m so-rry that I don’t follow your life on Penstagram. I have better things to do, like watching paint dry.” Eda put her hands on her hips and grew a face of wonder. “Plus I thought he’d get smart enough to dump you. Maybe go for Darius instead, we all know he was in love with him.”
“Yes, well, Alador knew to pick the smarter witch,” Odalia said, pursing her lips at the reminder of her husband’s ex best friend.
“Well, hopefully he’s got his head on straight by now. I wouldn’t have trusted him with a kid back when we were in school - he’d probably abandon it to go chase a butterfly,” Eda laughed. Odalia just continued to glare.
“Yes, well, that’s what the nanny is for,” Odalia said, not even trying to defend her husband. This was no fun. “I don’t suppose you’re planning to have children of your own?”
“Why the hell would I do that?” Eda asked, mystified. She’d never even thought about having kids.
“Oh thank the Titan, that would’ve been horrible,” Odalia said, hand over her heart as she took a sigh of relief. “Just imagine. You? A mother? That infant wouldn’t make it a week. Not to mention anyone you chose to shack up with would probably be just as bad, if not worse. A smart choice, being childless. Motherhood wouldn’t suit you.”
“Thanks?” Eda said, sarcastically.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, dear, I’d just hate to see a witchlet in a bad situation, you understand?”
“And that would be with me as a mother,” Eda finished for her.
“Good, I’m glad you understand,” Odalia said, smirking. “Well, if we’re done discussing your inability to parent, I’m off to an ultrasound appointment. Have to make sure these two are growing well and nip any problems in the bud, you understand?”
“Yeah. Have fun with that,” Eda said, holding her hand up in a pathetic wave farewell. She didn’t wait for Odalia to reply before she began heading to her last potions destination. For some reason, she couldn’t get Odalia’s words out of her mind.
By the time she reached home that afternoon, Odalia’s words were on replay in her mind. Why would she be such a terrible mother? She didn’t even think it was a possibility, genetically, at this point. Her and Raine both were probably screwed on the biological children front thanks to the curse. They could always adopt, though. Although, who would want to adopt a kid out to two cursed adults, one of whom was thought to be dead, and the other on the run from the law? Technically, they both were on the run from the law, even.
So yeah, children probably weren’t a thing she was looking at in the future.
Then why did what Odalia said affect her so much?
“Eda?” Raine asked from the kitchen. “I said hello, didn’t you hear me?”
“Oh, yeah. Hi Rainestorm,” Eda said absentmindedly, her thoughts still on the earlier conversation.
“Everything okay?” they asked, coming into the living room and taking a seat next to her on the couch.
“No, no, just…” she sighed. She was supposed to work on being more honest. “Do you think we’d be bad parents?”
Raine almost jumped at that, face reddening. “I-I don’t, I’ve never thought of that. Why, what brings it up?”
“I ran into Odalia today,” Eda simply said. “She’s pregnant. With twins.”
“Ah,” Raine said, moving their arms to allow Eda to fall into their lap. They ran their fingers through her hair, relaxing her. “That explains a lot.”
“Yeah. She said it was a good thing I wasn’t in her shoes, basically,” Eda admitted, playing with the fabric of Raine’s pants. “I’d never really thought about it, though.”
“Me neither,” Raine admitted. “I guess we are at that age where our classmates are going off and having kids, though…”
“Would you have wanted to?” Eda asked, looking up at them. “If we weren’t all fucked up I mean, would you have wanted to have kids with me?”
“Maybe?” Raine asked, blushing again. “I-I don’t, I just said I never thought about it! I guess it’d be nice, to have a little combination of us? But, a lot of work, too. We’d have to change a lot of what we do. And probably get steady jobs. And decrease the amount of Apple Blood in this house. Kid form only.” Eda snickered at that. “I don’t know, though. We are all… ‘fucked up’ to put it so eloquent, though, so there’s no use thinking on what ifs.”
“I guess so,” Eda shrugged. “Do you think I’d be bad at it, though? If we did?”
“No,” Raine said after a moment. “Like I said, we’d both have to change a lot, but… I think you’d make a good mom. We both know a lot of what not to do-” Eda laughed again “-so we’d just… work off of that. Find our own way to parent that works, you know?” Raine placed a kiss on her forehead before continuing. “You’re a kind and caring person, despite what you want everyone to think. You’ve taken care of me when I was sick before, and I didn’t die.”
“I almost mixed up your cough potion with the toilet cleaner,” Eda admitted.
“But you didn’t,” Raine defended. “I have faith that you’d be a good mom. Better than ours, at a bare minimum.”
They were silent for a minute.
“I think you’d be good at it, too,” Eda said, still playing with the fabric. “Not a mom, a… nini, or whatever you want to be called.” Raine chuckled. “Hey, I’m being serious here!”
“I know, I know,” Raine said. “That’s nice to hear, thank you.”
“I guess this is all pointless talk though, because it won’t happen,” Eda said, sitting up with a shrug. Raine frowned at the look on her face, and turned her head towards them with a finger under her chin.
“Hey. Maybe children don’t suit our lifestyle, but that doesn’t take away from how amazing a witch you are. We don’t need children to complete our family, okay? We’ve got you, me, Owlbert, Fiddlesticks. Even Hooty.”
“I’M BEING INCLUDED?” came Hooty’s call from outside. Eda thanked the Titan he didn’t break the window… again.
“...Sometimes Hooty,” Raine corrected, causing the house demon to give a dejected ‘aww’. “My point is, kids are great and all, but we don’t need them. Maybe if we ever feel a void in that place of our hearts, we can adopt a dog or something. But right now? I think we’re pretty good.”
“Yeah,” Eda said, giving them a soft smile. “You’re right, we are.”
They leaned in to give her a kiss, which she happily returned with full gusto. Raine was knocked back on the couch, causing them to give a little squeak that made Eda laugh.
“You know, we can’t have a baby, but we can still enjoy the baby making process,” Eda said, waggling her eyebrows.
“You are absolutely ridiculous,” Raine said, rolling their eyes.
“Is that a no?”
“I’d have to be an idiot to say no to that.”