Work Text:
"MIRACLE SOLUTION, WATCH ASAP" reads the text in Shang Qinghua's phone from An Ding cameraperson number 6. Nursing a caffeine headache after only a half dozen coffees and energy drinks in the last few hours, he taps the attached video file, which appears to be a phone recording of the screen of their cameras on site four. Site four is the problem site, where the guy they'd brought on for his abs and pretty face has proven 1) unexpectedly tenacious in wilderness survival and 2) gravely, dangerously taciturn. Ratings don't build themselves, and on a show like this- where the contestants, stranded in the wild in separate locations, don't even interact- Shang Qinghua needs everything he can get to build a narrative. There's only so much B roll of this Liu Qingge's sweat shining in the light that he can cut into the final show- if he ends up being the last guy standing they'll need to sell him to the viewers right from the beginning.
Snapping another melon seed shell between his teeth, Shang Qinghua turns the sound up a bit more so that he can hear what's being said. Liu Qingge is responding to the interviewer's professional, friendly, and engaging questions with monosyllabic, single-word sentences. Like usual. Shang Qinghua can feel his headache intensifying. He needs another drink. There's water in front of him, but he fucking hates water. Where did this bottle come from?
"-my partners," comes the tinny voice from Shang Qinghua's phone. He promptly inhales the shell of the melon seed, almost cleaving the lining of his throat in two clean down the middle with how hard he starts coughing. Tears running down his eyes and snot building in his nose, he gamely tries to rewind the video on his phone. What was that?!
Another text dings its way into his eyeballs. we need sum fottage from his home, says Shang Qinghua's new favorite cameraperson. Shang Qinghua is already scrolling through the spreadsheets on his work computer. Liu Qingge's emergency contacts both have the same address as him. Bingo.
Shang Qinghua can already see the hubbub about the show growing in his mind's eye. Homosexual propoganda, destroying the nuclear family, gay men are sluts- yes, any publicity is good publicity! And all the queers watching for Liu Qingge's hot face and body will rise up to defend him... yes, it's perfect. The perfect storm of internet drama to pull in another few dozen views. Not hesitating even a moment, he calls the first number listed. It goes straight to voice mail; but a few seconds later, he gets a text.
spam calls after midnight??? it reads. im reporting this number
wait no, Shang Qinghua types out hurriedly. i'm real! ur liu qingges emerg contact
HES HURT??? dings Shang Qinghua's phone- followed by three more texts of increasingly long strings of question marks. He's typing as fast as he can, calm down!
Suddenly, Shang Qinghua's phone rings.
"What's happening?" says a low, dangerous-sounding voice- a completely different attitude from the texts.
"Uh, hi, everything's okay," Shang Qinghua says awkwardly, abandoning his half-composed text message. "I just wanted to know if I could come interview you guys about him, he's doing really well."
"And you called my husband in the middle of the night to say that," the voice says, cold. Shang Qinghua laughs nervously, then hears a slight scuffle. Another voice takes over the call, sounding excitable and energetic for what Shan Qinghua is belatedly realizing is 1:30am.
"Interview us? For Persist!: In Deadly Wilds??" the other man says. Both men- this will be great, much more dramatic than a bisexual threesome. "We'll do it, I'm a fan, I was the one who referred him. When?"
Shang Qinghua sets up the time and sends a string of emojis to cameraperson number 6. Now to prepare the interview questions- and some for the team to ask Liu Qingge...
---
Liu Qingge breathes out slowly to settle his emotions.
"Can you film," he says for at least the third time, "from farther away."
"We just need these angles on the fishing equipment," the cameraperson says apologetically. The four different camera set ups- two mercifully far away across the water, one on the shore, and one always right in his face- have been scaring the fish for the last hour. After all the noise the film crew made going to film the snares he set at dawn, he won't have anything to eat today without these fish.
Liu Qingge stares at the water, moody. He'll have to be quieter next morning; and this time he won't tell them about it afterwards, so that they won't expressly ignore his instructions to not look for the snares and trample all over the landscape, warning away the rabbits.
"Can you tell us more about your partners?" the camera person says, doing an excellent job both scaring the fish away and confusing Liu Qingge. He looks at her skeptically, brow furrowing. His what? "You mentioned them," the cameraperson says, sticking her head out from behind the camera. "The other day."
"We always go out with partners for the wilderness survival treks," Liu Qingge says flatly. What's there to say?
"Okay," the cameraperson says, different unparsable expressions flashing across her face. "What can you tell me about... Luo Binghe?"
"Luo Binghe?" Liu Qingge scoffs, glancing back at the water. "What about him?"
"Like, if he was here," the cameraperson suggests. Almost desperately.
If Luo Binghe was here... "He would never let me live it down if he saw me not catching a single fish," Liu Qingge says with great displeasure.
"He's also skilled in wilderness survival?" the cameraperson asks, interestedly. Liu Qingge snorts.
"He's good at everything," he says in disgust.
"What about Shen Yuan?" the cameraperson says, and Liu Qingge feels his face soften. Shen Yuan... if he was here, he would get mad at Liu Qingge for not having eaten. Not like he'd help with that.
"He would be stomping around scaring all the food away," Liu Qingge says with a snorted laugh. "Just like you all," and he directs a pointed glare at the camera.
"Amazing," the cameraperson says, distractedly staring into the camera screen and pulling out her phone to type more quickly than Liu Qingge has ever seen. He rolls his eyes, turning back to the water and staring across it, trying to ignore the glint of lenses on the far side.
Shen Yuan...
His eyes go soft again.
A fish tugs on the line.
---
"Why did they want us to come here, Yuan ge?" Luo Binghe asks, throwing a half-hearted glare at the cameras around them. He can't actually act too poorly; his husband is so happy, he doesn't want to spoil this for him. Shen Yuan has been watching this trashy reality show religiously since it began airing, six years ago, and has only gotten more invested since Liu Qingge left to be a contestant- rewatching all the old seasons and redoing the checklists that he pressed upon Liu Qingge before he left. Not that that idiot can make use of them now- in fact, he probably never used them at all. Shen Yuan's calculations of which equipment had the highest success rates aren't necessarily correlated to practicality, charming though they are. Luo Binghe would have taken his suggestions, though, if it had been him.
Not that they would have been able to separate him from his husband for so long, without even a phone call. For all he knew, Liu Qingge was dead. It was great.
"I bet he won, isn't that amazing!" Shen Yuan is saying happily, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. Luo Binghe takes his fingers between his palms, rubbing in slow circles to gently warm them. His darling husband may love one reality TV survival show, but he never goes outdoors. If Luo Binghe hadn't packed him a jacket he wouldn't have even remembered to wear one. "No one has ever lasted all the way until spring, on all the seasons. They say they're bringing him back now for the first time- he hasn't been out of the woods since he left! Do you think they’ll use our interviews?"
"Yes, Yuan ge," Luo Binghe says supportively. He's watched all the episodes to support his husband, boring and trite though they are. "I'm sure this season will be very long. And everything you had to say was very interesting."
"There he is!" Shen Yuan says, pointing excitedly. Before they can move toward Liu Qingge's position they're intercepted by a crew member, who double checks the mic's attachment on Shen Yuan- Luo Binghe barely refrains from politely moving her hands away and off of his husband- and Luo Binghe. When she gives them the thumbs up, Shen Yuan rushes forward, trailed by multiple cameras, all trained on him and Liu Qingge's stupid unchanged face. The man doesn't even have stubble or frizz in his long hair; his tan skin is barely touched by the sun, just a few shades darker than when he left. Luo Binghe was at least hoping for some new wrinkles.
"Qingge!" Shen Yuan laughs, flinging himself into Liu Qingge's startled arms. "We missed you!"
"What are you doing here?" Liu Qingge says, stiff and awkward in Shen Yuan's embrace. Luo Binghe stares at them flatly; Liu Qingge has always had trouble hiding his feelings for Shen Yuan. He's hesitantly patting Shen Yuan on the back, but his ears are going red in that unwavering hold. Hmph. "They didn't tell me-"
"We wanted to come see you!" Shen Yuan says, moving back and holding Liu Qingge by the biceps. "Look at you! You feel thin. You'll have to come home and eat some of Binghe's cooking!"
Luo Binghe doesn't let his sour mood travel onto his face. Cooking, for this neighbor of theirs... If he hadn't been Shen Yuan's friend for the last decade, Luo Binghe would have staged a minor leak in the apartments long ago. Not one big enough to get into his and Shen Yuan's area, of course- just enough to require Liu Qingge to move out of his section while the landlord replaced the floor. Shen Yuan would have insisted that he stay with them, though, so Luo Binghe has had no choice but to leave him in the apartment with the connecting door to theirs, suffering through his existence. Shen Yuan's bright laughter was always filtering through that open door- accompanying Liu Qingge's demands that he leave- until Liu Qingge left for this show. The bastard never even bothered to lock the door conjoining their spaces. Hypocrite.
"I thought you'd smell like death," Shen Yuan is saying to Liu Qingge, leaning in to sniff at his neck. Luo Binghe almost passes out. "How come you always smell good no matter what?"
"Incredible," murmurs a voice from the side. Luo Binghe glances over at a small, mousy man who's holding a cup of half-finished coffee and a pad of paper, staring slack jawed at the reunion. He breathes deeply and refrains from glaring. Here's here to support Shen Yuan. The mousy man glances at Luo Binghe, and does a double take. "They're all hot," he thinks the man mutters; he's waving his hands, and a few more cameras point at Luo Binghe. He clears all the expressions off his face, as neutral as possible for Shen Yuan's sake.
"Binghe, come say hello!" Shen Yuan calls; and Luo Binghe resolutely strides forward, resigned to it.
---
"The third episode was trash," Shen Yuan is ranting, already halfway through his popcorn despite the fact that the stream won't begin for another 7 minutes and 26 seconds. He cracks open another soda as Luo Binghe sets down a platter with some canapes in front of him. If only he'd gotten home before the microwave popcorn came out... he glares at the bag. Trash not worthy of his ge's palate. "Can you believe that that person couldn't even get the fire going? Outrageous."
Luo Binghe’s shoulders relax as he settles into listening to his husband; the time drifts by in a pleasant haze, even as the show begins and the familiar opening plays. Luo Binghe half-listens as he sews a ripped seam on a pair of Shen Yuan’s pants, humming and nodding along with the commentary. Shen Yuan pats him excitedly on the shoulder after a while and he glances up, seeing a remarkably high definition picture of Liu Qingge moving around on the screen, twice life size and way too large in their living room. Why can’t the man have a single pimple?
At least he’s point blank refused to watch the show with Shen Yuan as it airs; Luo Binghe doesn’t think he could survive having to look at two Liu Qingges at once.
“My partners say I walk too fast,” Liu Qingge is saying on the screen. Shen Yuan laughs, his beautiful voice soothing Luo Binghe’s annoyed ear drums.
“It’s true,” Shen Yuan says delightedly, “don’t you always say that everyone paired with him for skills complains about the pace? We can’t all be professional athletes!”
“Yes Yuan ge,” Luo Binghe says, mouth pulling up in a smile.
“Alone in the wilderness,” the voiceover says over a shot of Liu Qingge hopping down a rocky outcropping, “the contestants’ minds turn to their families…”
“Holy shit!” Shen Yuan says, slapping Luo Binghe’s shoulder. Used to his exuberance, Luo Binghe angles the needle so as not to miss a stitch. “It’s us!” Luo Binghe glances back up at the screen. He and Shen Yuan, sitting side by side on this very couch. His heart swells.
“And how long have you and Liu Qingge been living together?” the interviewer is saying. Shen Yuan’s phone buzzes, and he glances at the text before darting his eyes back up at the screen, where their interview has been awkwardly cut, the answers responding to the wrong questions. The phone buzzes again; and again. Shen Yuan’s fingers type furiously as the interview continues, meandering in incomprehensible directions.
“Of course we miss him,” Shen Yuan is saying on the screen.
“I love him,” Luo Binghe says, staring deeply and intently into the camera lens.
Luo Binghe, sitting on the couch, feels a great coldness fill him. Shen Yuan appears to have not noticed how the foul writers cut their dialogue. Luo Binghe said that about his husband. Why does the show want people to think he likes Liu Qingge?
“Oh my god- can you at least let the episode finish first?!” Shen Yuan says into his phone. “I’m watching it with- yes, it’s him! What, you thought that I was lying about being interviewed for the show? Hah! Shows what a fake fan like you knows!”
“I can’t believe it,” Luo Binghe hears, tinny and shrill through the phone. “Your husband is real? We all thought you photoshopped him-”
Shen Yuan hangs up the phone, glaring at his phone screen screen then glancing up at the TV just in time to see the show cut back to Liu Qingge, highlighted in the dusky glow of the setting sun fading to early evening.
“I’ve known them for years,” Liu Qingge says. The angle of the shot changes; the light is noticeably different. “Couldn’t live without them.”
“He said that about us?” Luo Binghe’s perfect, gullible husband says, beaming. Luo Binghe scowls; Liu Qingge was probably talking about a brand of knife or something. He rubs his thumb slowly back and forth over his neat stitches, mind racing as the show cuts to the next contestant.
He’ll need to do some damage control.
—
There’s no homoerotic subtext! Shen Yuan types into the comment box on the Persist: In Deadly Wilds messageboards, fuming. And stop saying that I’m ‘trolling’ the forum just because they cut all those scenes the way they did, you guys must not even have two neurons to rub together if you think that that obviously fake garbage is-
“Shen Yuan,” comes a familiar voice, making Shen Yuan jump and slap his laptop closed. Liu Qingge is standing in the doorway between their apartments, knuckles still resting against the door frame where he must have knocked, looking at Shen Yuan’s guilty face with a mildly judgmental look. He wouldn’t be so judgmental if he knew all the steps Shen Yuan was taking to defend his honor on the internet! Behind him stands Liu Mingyan, who’s looking Shen Yuan up and down with a cool, evaluating gaze. As if summoned by Liu Qingge’s presence, Luo Binghe floats into view, handsome face enhanced by the extremely cute dash of flour on his face. He’s wearing his apron with little hearts on it. Has there ever been a more beautiful, perfect man? Hah, the internet wishes they could photoshop a husband this gorgeous!
“Liu Mingyan came over to watch the finale,” Liu Qingge says, still looking at Shen Yuan with an air of lingering doubt. “You said we would be welcome to join you, right? I don’t have a TV.”
“Of course!” Shen Yuan says, beginning to sweat. He absolutely had said that- back when the series was just starting to air! Before all of the, ahem, suggestive footage had paraded itself in front of him like a we think you’re fucking your housemate! smorgasbord. The camerapeople had even seen that there were separate living spaces, separate beds, everything! Why did they cut it to look like the three of them shared everything? And that picture that Shen Yuan had supplied, of him with his arms around both their shoulders… they didn’t have to put that soft filter on it and zoom in on Liu Qingge’s euqlaly soft expression as he looked at Shen Yuan, it really made it seem…
“Thank you for hosting us,” Liu Mingyan says, walking into the space and giving Luo Binghe a firm nod. Luo Binghe returns it, much more easily than he usually does Liu Qingge’s. What a gentleman- always so polite to women!
“Hey,” Liu Qingge says with a frown, sitting down next to Shen Yuan, who reflexively puts his computer further away out of reach, meeting his look with an awkward smile. Why did people have to mention how handsome Liu Qingge was in every post? Like stating it was fine of course, it was a known fact, but focusing on his lips like that… describing how much they’d like to put their mouths on his… wasn’t that a little too…
“Are you okay?” Liu Qingge says, pushing Shen Yuan’s shoulder slightly. Shen Yuan’s eyes snap up from Liu Qingge’s mouth as he nods frantically.
“Of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be!” he says, throwing a comradely fist bump into Liu Qingge’s exquisitely muscled shoulder in a platonic friendship way. Liu Qingge’s mouth purses. It does look soft.
“You’re acting weird,” he says flatly, and at that exact moment Shen Yuan’s husband sweeps in to rescue him, sitting down neatly between them and blocking Liu Qingge’s interrogative face.
“Oh look, it’s about to start,” Luo Binghe says, stiff expression going soft at Shen Yuan’s thankful smile. Shen Yuan is not acting weird, anyway. This season- with its distracting focus on how many times Liu Qingge can be shirtless or have his shirt plastered to him by the rain- just needs to end, then everything will be fine. The forums will stop hounding Shen Yuan for proof that he and his husband aren’t dating Liu Qingge- which like, how would he even prove that?!- and he can go back to enjoying his normal, platonic, manly friendship with Liu Qingge without any weirdness. Shen Yuan nods sagely to himself as Liu Mingyan sits down on Liu Qingge’s other side, drinks in hand. Liu Qingge hasn’t even been watching these episodes; after tonight, it will all be over and he can relax. Hopefully there won’t be anything particularly weird in this one.
“It’s starting,” Liu Mingyan says with deep interest, passing Liu Qingge one of the cups. “Let’s see if what I’ve heard is true.”
—
Liu Qingge covers his mouth with his hands, staring down at his knees in shock as the credits roll. Luo Binghe is gesticulating angrily next to him, arguing over his head with a furious Liu Mingyan. Luo Binghe’s stupid broad thighs are pressing against him on one side; the couch is a little small for four people, which has never bothered him until tonight. Shen Yuan is pattering out words at lightning speed into his phone, almost too fast to parse, making the back of Liu Qingge’s neck heat.
“Well he did smell good!” Liu Qingge makes out from the garble, past Luo Binghe’s “we aren’t dating him and we wouldn’t and we won’t!” and Liu Mingyan’s icy “lie all you want. Why did you go on that show if you were afraid of it being exposed? I can’t believe you’re treating him like this-”
Shen Yuan is describing Liu Qingge’s abs for some reason. Liu Qingge feels like his ears are going to light on fire from the embarrassment. He needs to leave. He needs to just- just walk out of here. Stand up from the couch and go back to his apartment.
He stands to leave, and all three people on the couch turn to him in indignation, rising to their feet.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Liu Mingyan says accusatorily- completely unfair.
“Tell her it’s not true!” Luo Binghe demands, glaring at Liu Qingge like he wants to light him on fire with his eyes. Liu Qingge prickles in reflexive antagonism, heart rate rising from the fierceness of Luo Binghe’s piercing gaze- as it always does when Luo Binghe’s eyes are upon him. How could anyone ever think that he would- Shen Yuan is one thing, but Luo Binghe- the very idea is-
“Does this look like the face of a man who’s in love with his best friend?” Shen Yuan’s voice comes, and suddenly a mouth is on Liu Qingge’s.
He thinks he may make a noise. Shen Yuan is kissing him. The rest of the room falls away in the wonder of that realization. His eyes shut of their own accord, the world narrowing to the softness, the preciousness, of the mouth that moves against his. When those lips draw away Liu Qingge gasps, heart fluttering in his chest as he follows without meaning to- as if to pursue the sweetness of that unexpected, momentary kiss. The echoing silence in the room gives him pause, bringing him back to himself. After a long moment where everything is mercifully blank- before he can start to parse everything that’s just gone wrong- he opens his eyes.
Shen Yuan is staring at him, eyes wide, phone still held up like he’s taking a selfie. Flashes of comments scroll by on his phone. Shen Yuan glances at it and yelps “end stream!”, jumping away from Liu Qingge. Liu Mingyan seizes Liu Qingge by the shoulder- but not in time to prevent a second pair of lips from meeting Liu Qingge’s.
Liu Qingge’s entire body washes with heat as Luo Binghe’s mouth moves on his, pressing and seeking, his hand grabbing Liu Qingge’s chin as if to hold him in place. There’s no need for the grip; Liu Qingge is absolutely frozen, unable to move. Th- this is-
“Get off him!” Liu Mingyan snaps, and a hand appears in Liu Qingge’s vision, shoving Luo Binghe away by the ample chest. He’s wearing his stupid shirt half unbuttoned again, like he always does. Liu Qingge’s face is on fire. “You think that your secret relationship entitles you to PDA in front of me? Think again!”
“I took Yuan ge’s kiss back,” Luo Binghe is saying to Shen Yuan, turning those big, pleading eyes on him and completely ignoring Liu Mingyan. Liu Qingge’s eyes drop helplessly to where one nipple is visible through the dip in Luo Binghe’s stupid thin shirt. His heart is hammering so loudly that he’s afraid everyone else can hear it. “It’s okay, that interloper won’t steal any more of Yuan ge’s affections-”
“No! Nothing else is happening! Stop asking! End stream!” Shen Yuan is saying, furiously tapping the screen with one finger over and over. “There- finally!” He turns to Luo Binghe, raising a hand to his husband’s face, and then- visibly stilling like a rabbit in the headlights- slowly turns towards Liu Qingge and Liu Mingyan.
“Ahaha,” he says, swallowing. “That’s… that, then? Another season over. Definitely, uh, definitely not as good as season 4.”
Liu Qingge stares blankly, head filled with steam. Raising a hand to cover his mouth, he turns and walks out of Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe’s apartment, face burning, to lose it where no one can see him.
“I’ve set up a formal meeting with our parents for you two to ask permission,” he hears Liu Mingyan say through the closing door. Liu Qingge’s second hand comes up to cover his face as he slides down to sit on the floor. His hammering heart does nothing to stop the curl of unexpected, guilty delight in his chest as he savors the lingering sensations against his lips.
“It’s time to make it official,” declares Liu Mingyan.